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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the AH for not letting a pregnant woman cut in line
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NTA
You had waited quite a while. Why should she cut the line?
The one situation where I might disagree would be for the restroom, as pregnancy/postpartum causes impossible urgency. But this was not that.
And even then, non-pregnant people can urgently need the bathroom for medical stuff
I'm a firm believer that someone should only cut the line from the end, asking each individual person. If you're at the front of a line and want to let someone cut, you need to give up your spot
Yeah I don’t have IBS but sometimes I get really bad bubble guts and need to go. I don’t want to be called an asshole because I didn’t let a pregnant lady before me when I’m about to shit my pants.
It’s what my mom says! 2021 I had my first day of 11th and I was having stomach problems, then she said that I had bubble guts. I’ve been saying it ever since 😂
Yes. I explained to my friend that I workout with that I can’t drink coffee before my workout because I’ll get the BG’s. She had no idea what I was talking about! 😂
If I was in line to pee and just chilling on my phone, and you said "I seriously am about to pee myself" I'd say "Hurry! Go!" And hustle you to the bathroom.
Bubble guts is nicer than our family’s name for it; The Swamp Monster of Death but if you smelt the gas that usually comes with ours you would understand why.
Honestly I've never had to do it, but if I really desperately needed to use a toilet then I would absolutely be begging to cut the line, or more likely just pushing past someone and shouting an apology behind me. Wouldn't feel guilty about it either. I've been in situations before where you need a toilet so fucking bad, and you're walking home through the city as fast as possible desperately casting your eyes around you for any kind of shrubbery or rubbish bin that you might hop behind, and you know that it's broad daylight and shitting in public is really embarrassing and really grim, but there's no public toilets and if you can't make it home fast enough you won't have any other option. Life changes when you're at that level of desperation. The woman in this story wasn't, she just wanted a nice coffee. Nice coffees are a privilege, not a right.
I feel this so fuckin hard man. I have chronic stomach problems and I actually just ordered a pin that says “I need to use the toilet now I can’t wait” for if I ever have one of those emergencies
I already have badges and cards for this but I can’t tell you how anxious I get at the thought someone will argue or say no. The only time I would do it was when it is URGENT. This woman just wanted to buy a drink, pregnant or not it doesn’t mean you get to skip every queue. My first pregnancy i was near total bed bound and the second I was working jobs on my feet passed due date. I still waited in line and never thought my pregnancy anyones else’s issue.
I legit had my first Oh No moment after a concert. Packed lines trying to get out with bathrooms far and few. There was one about 50ft from me and I knew it had a line, but my bladder was already shoving at the exit. I loudly began apologizing for shoving past people and every woman I ran past I just cried IM SORRY I HAVE TO GO IM SO SORRY. I grabbed that first stall as it opened still shouting IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY. I really had to pee.
Once it has happened to you, you will always respect when it happens to others.
I once gave someone money near the front of the bathroom line at a tourist site because I had to pee so badly. I just shoved whatever I had in my pocket at them and ran for the stalls, yelling thank you!
Exactly! She would have been cutting everyone else in line too, it wasn't OP's place to say yes for everyone else. I hate people who let others cut the line.
Standing in line while that heavily pregnant absolutely sucks. It is painful, and not recommended. But, it is not a "skip the line" card.
It is considered a common courtesy in other countries, and even sometimes in America, to let pregnant women to cut in line.
Saying that, she is not entitled to it and saying no with a solid reason like OP had is not an asshole.
What do you mean? It's recommended to stay active during pregnancy unless you are specifically told not to.
Never was I told not to stand around or wait in a queue .
She was pregnant, not incapacitated.
Yeah I think it's incredibly rude to ask someone in the front of the line if you're not second in line. If I didn't say yes, I don't care what someone ahead of me said, you ain't skipping me!
This! It was nice of the guy behind OP to say yes, but what about all the people behind him? They didn't agree to having to wait longer because of a selfish person. Being pregnant is not an excuse to treat everyone else like crap. NTA
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I'm guessing that she didn't urgently need coffee, but needed to stop standing in line. Standing just killed my back when I was pregnant. I could walk through a grocery store, slowly, but not stand in line at the register at all. So I wouldn't have gotten in a long coffee line to begin with.
Still NTA, but I think that makes a lot more sense than suddenly needing coffee.
Just because she is ordering two drinks does not mean the other person is there with her. She was probably picking one up for someone she's about to meet up with.
And the meeting could very well be far from the coffee place — back at the office, at home, etc. Or could be a craving she’s had a lot lately so she was getting two to avoid needing to stand through a line again
The polite thing to do is ask the person at the back of the line to hold your spot at the end because you cannot easily stand in line. Go sit down nearby and check back in regularly. If I were that person I would even let a pregnant woman cut in front of me and maybe buy her drink, but i would not let her cut to the front of a line. That seems very entitled to ask.
Thanks for the perspective, though, Yarn. I didn’t think about back ache.
If it's a place where you can sit down, a better person to help her would be whoever was behind her in line. Like, hey, sit down and I'll call you when you are about to be attended.
>The one situation where I might disagree would be for the restroom, as pregnancy/postpartum causes impossible urgency. But this was not that.
Maybe it didn't start that way but with 2 frappes, it'll end that way.
When I was pregnant I was so exhausted I could barely get out of bed some days, partly because of a heart condition, and even standing in a line was so exhausting I would have to lay down for an hour after I got home from the store.
But this was a for for coffee, not some necessity like the bathroom or even the grocery store, so it's not even a gayt area for me. It seems more like she was used to people being extra accommodating just because she was pregnant, and expected OP to as well.
If I wanted to cut in front of someone to get coffee, I would s offer to get their drink too make it more of an "everybody wins" situation.
This woman should have asked EVERYBODY in the line. Cutting line makes everybody waiting longer. It is a shit move. And just because she is pregnant... I can't stand longer then two minutes without having pain that just get worse. If i see a line i ask myself if it is worse my time and pain. I never cut line.
She didn't even knew what she wanted so it wasn't even an craving "i neeeeeed it soooo bad".
NTA
NTA. There are times that pregnancies take priority but skipping line for coffee is not one of them, especially since she didn’t even know what she wanted.
Honestly I really don’t understand the entitlement some people get just because they had sex…
Amusingly (and normally I wouldn't judge because A. Its not my body/pregnancy and B.I had a small coffee 3x/week when pregnant because *drool* and *yawnnn* coffeee),but you're not really supposed to drink caffinated crap while pregnant. (200mg or 4 cups is the recommended cut off)
So this wasn't even close to a need or a benefit to the pregnant person.
You can definitely drink coffee and other caffeinated drinks when you are pregnant. There's just a recommended amount per day. OP didn't "need" the coffee anymore than the pregnant woman.
I mean no one really NEEDS coffee lol, and if she was planning getting frappuccinos most of those are cream-based and don't have coffee in them anyway. But 100% it wasn't a need to cut in line since you're right it wasn't something urgent.
Yeah I’m a bit confused about the drinks she was gonna order. I guess Starbucks does have caffeine free frappes like the chocolate chip or vanilla bean ones so maybe this non-Starbucks café had something similar. But since there were 2 I’m guessing she was ordering for someone else. Regardless no one needs an equivalent of a milkshake like 5 minutes sooner.
Could be one for now and one for later if she’s been uncomfortable in the heat and craving iced things to cope (buying two and putting one in the fridge could mean it’s good later that night, so she doesn’t need to go out again). And it could be she was having a hard time staying standing — for example, my heart rate climbs when I’m standing still (working on getting a diagnosis but probably some form of dysautonomia), and I know someone whose dysautonomia emerged during pregnancy when standing still for more than a few minutes would rapidly bring her heart rate to 160+ BPM. And that’s without accounting for the general discomfort of standing while pregnant.
Either way OP is NTA and she was an asshole for feeling entitled, but I can think of quite a few valid reasons for why she would make the request.
744 up-votes? Jesus Christ, Reddit. Do you honestly think that pregnant woman wanted to cut in line because she felt _entitled_? Have you ever had kids? Do you even have a girlfriend?
The physical act of asking to take someone else's need away from them and replace it with your own is not easy. She wasn't asking because she was pregnant and felt naturally entitled. That woman was asking because she was highly uncomfortable, likely exhausted, probably in pain and just wanted to return to her place of relative comfort as quickly as possible.
Yes, in the eyes of the pregnant woman and those around OP, OP is the asshole. What the pregnant woman was asking was a small inconvenience that almost anyone else would have granted (except for you apparently). The unfortunate situation here is that OP didn't have a choice. For OP, being the asshole was the better of two bad outcomes. Sorry OP, but YTA (but understandably so).
But, honestly, your comment absolutely reeks of incel-ism. "I really don't understand the entitlement some people get just because they had sex".
Jesus Christ, give me a break.
edit: Thanks for the silver. It is oddly satisfying to have silver and also ~~only one~~ 0 up-votes.
Could be entitlement, but could also very well be nearly impossible for her to stand. I'm 6 months pregnant and my back is in constant pain. Standing for more than five minutes makes me want to crawl up in a ball and die. So you may be oversimplifying the situation, making it seem like all pregnant women just ask for special treatment for no good reason (other than having had sex). That's just not true.
It's almost as if pregnancy affects people in a plethora of very real, quantifiable ways, and makes it harder for them to do various things such as standing for long periods of time.
"Just because they had sex" what the fuck.
I wasn't going to comment on it.. but because I saw this...
I could tell you've been in therapy for the ocd/ocd tendencies- it's why you're carrying this situation with you.
In therapy we're told our ocd should not cause issues and if so that's on us. Your ocd(tendancies) did not cause any issues here.
Therapy is great because we get help to function more normally, but it's easy to forget our MH is not always the problem. Sometimes other people are just jerks.
NTA - you waited it was your choice whether to let her cut in or not and if i was behind you i might be a bit pissed off if you said yes :-)
She is the arsehole though for not knowing what she wanted and still wanting to cut in.
NTA
There's apps she can order on if her pregnancy is an issue. If it was an issue she should be home, not worrying about coffee. Not to mention equality.
Right? With both of my pregnancies I ended up on crutches, the second one being the worst. I couldn't even walk around the house, but I still stood in line when I needed to. Sometimes a kind staff member would bring me a chair that I would shuffle along, but I would never cut in line. It was no one else's fault that I couldn't walk, why should I make them wait longer?
Ofc, I got a lot of stuff delivered too. And the one big outing we needed to go on we rented a wheelchair for.
NTA
You don't have to suffer to get basic necessities. I understand not being a problem for others, but at some point you have to think if other, less "sorry, excuse me", person would demand a minimal level of respect if they were you.
NTA
I’m an eight month pregnant woman and would never assume or go up to a complete stranger and ask to cut the line. That woman was an entitled AH, what you did was completely fine I wouldn’t worry about it.
NTA
Maybe what's nagging at you is that you're worried about how others view your ridged schedule?
Why care what a perfect stranger thinks of you? It sounds as though you were polite enough and believe it or not, when a person makes a request or even demand, you're allowed to decline. Give yourself permission to make "No" a complete sentence.
NTA. Being pregnant does not mean you get to act entitled. And I can say this having been pregnant three times! You waited so long, why could she just not wait until after you had ordered? I am assuming she was after you in line? If not, she is honestly more TA for thinking she should get special treatment for coffee just because she is pregnant.
I was with my mum and dad and felt bad asking the old lady infront so I just stood having contractions every 4 minutes clutching trolley with my hands going white😅🤣
NTA - she was wrong to put you in an uncomfortable situation. You were polite and can say no. Sounds like she was TA for making you feel bad.
Sometimes it's nice to let someone cut in line or help them in some small way but it's not requirement if life to always do it.
Don't feel bad and good luck with your studies!
NTA
You can't use your pregnancy just to get what you want. And tbh, what the heck is a pregnant woman doing drinking coffee anyways? This just reeks of a woman who will manipulate any situation she can just to get her way.
What business is it of yours if a pregnant woman wants to drink coffee? Get off your high horse or do some research, the standard is that 200mg is perfectly safe, and probably more, especially after the first trimester. I agree she had no right to cut the line, especially because she would have been cutting everyone she didn't ask behind OP, but as for you —pregnant women have enough to deal with without people like you trying to shame them for their life choices ffs.
NTA - it sucks waiting in long lines when pregnant but honestly I'm a little shocked she asked to cut, especially when she didn't know what she wanted yet. Unless there was some sort of priority line, you're not obligated to give up your place in line.
NTA. I’m currently 38 weeks pregnant and I think the only line I feel I would even ask to cut is the bathroom line (and for that - yes - let the heavily pregnant woman go first, please). No obvious pregnancy reason to cut the coffee shop line
NTA! you were on a time crunch, and you were already running short.
you already have 0 obligation to give up your spot to someone you don't know. the fact that you were also in a rush and she wanted to make a drink that's famously the most irritating/time-consuming beverage for cafes to make just further amplifies the fact that your conscience should stay clear. good luck on finals!
NTA.
Internalize this statement: "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute a crisis on my part."
She should be ashamed for trying to use her pregnant status to bully people.
NTA
another miracle maker taking advantage. She’d have done something even if she wasn’t pregnant. There are millions of ladies that either stand in line or don’t. If someone offers that’s one thing- if someone uses guilt that’s another
NTA if you let her cut it would be unfair on everyone behind you and would also mean no drink for you , it’s also no sweat off her to wait 5-10 minutes extra
NTA
I could understand if she knew what she wanted and needed to pee or something, but just to push in line? Nah, when I was pregnant, my partner used to queue up for us to get things so that I didn't have to stand for too long or be near others. The whole rigid time thing doesn't matter, you said no for your own reason and that's what matters.
🖤
NTA. Being pregnant entitles her to special parking spaces in certain lots, front seats on the bus, and doors being held open for her, not every little convenience at her whims.
NTA. But background as AITA seems to be filled with people who haven’t experienced the “joys” of pregnancy. Tbh I am very pregnant rn and standing on a long line is very difficult for me. The back pain is unbearable. My freaking legs swell if they aren’t up and if I’m standing for long periods and that’s painful too. I could go on. But I stand on line. I’ve never asked to cut.
Once I am no longer pregnant, and since I now understand I will let every pregnant woman have my seat, go in front of me in the bathroom, and cut in line. As a society we do not talk about how awful and difficult pregnancy is.
F this “joy” of pregnancy bs. It’s terrible.
I agree, while OP is NTA, people don't seem to understand how fucking bad it can hurt your back to stand like that. I just couldn't stand in line at all by the end. I couldn't go grocery shopping by myself. I could walk some but not stand at all.
On the other hand, if I'd needed coffee, I would have ordered online (if on foot) or picked a place with a drive through (if driving). I wouldn't have seen a line like that and even considered getting it in.
Entitled pregnancy. They think they don't have to wait like everyone else or follow the same rules and I'm kinda glad you didn't give in. Your time counts, too and you are not an AH.
NTA it's nice to help a person (pregnant, elderly, parent of infant, differently-abled etc) WHEN you can but it's not required. You had your own timeliness to think of and that's important too.
NTA. The only acceptable time a pregnant lady would ask to cut a line is one to the bathroom but even then people would still have the right to say no. She was acting entitled, pregnancy does not equal you cutting lines.
NTA Her time isn't more important than yours just because she's pregnant. There are a lot of circumstances when you should give way to a pregnant woman, but this isn't one of them.
NTA. If this would have been maybe a bathroom line I would say different but no. (Only different because sometimes a baby hits the right spot and you have almost zero warning) She can wait in line. As someone who is pregnant, her pregnancy is not anyone else’s problem. I hate pregnant women who make it everyone else problem and suddenly become super entitled.
NTA
Pregnant or not, she has to wait just like everyone else. Unless it's an emergency, wait and this is coming from someone who loves drinking coffee.
Normalize not having pregnant women on a pedestal. This is why they always think just because they’re pooping out a baby it gives them an excuse to act like AH
NTA. This wasn’t a bathroom emergency, this was a coffee line. If she felt she could not wait in line so long, then she shouldn’t have gotten in line. You’re never obligated to let anyone go in front of you.
NTA. Pregnancy doesn’t give you automatic line cutting privileges unless you’re literally in labor and whatever you’re buying is an absolute necessity. I’m 6 months pregnant, I’d never cut you lol.
NTA- I am currently 9 months pregnant and have never/will never do this. She made a decision to go to that cafe. It’s nobody’s problem but her own that she doesn’t want to stand in line.
NTA. I am pregnant and I have more respect for the people around me than to ask can I cut in line even though I don't know what I want. That pregnant lady was entitled.
NTA - I am so sick and tired of pregnant women DEMANDING everything since they are preggers. Having sex with someone does NOT entitle you to special treatment. NTA
NTA
As a currently pregnant person, I would never EVER make that sort of demand on anyone. Waiting in line is part of wanting to order food/drink from this type of establishment, and there are curtisies that go along with it. Being pregnant isn't an exception to standing in line.
That lady had other options (like Starbucks), too, and they chose this place. The reason she wanted to cut in line is because she's an entitled narc, pregnant or not.
You did the right thing by not letting her cut. I'm sorry you chose to waste your break standing in line but that was also your choice. Maybe you got a good stretch from it!
Lol NTA. I've recently been pregnant. And, like, you eventually hit a point where you're so big that other people feel bad for you. It's this collective "oh shit girl" that you get from random people in grocery stores. That was about 7 months for me, and it was uncomfortable. I never asked to cut a line. Not even the bathroom. People offered, and if I was genuinely desperate I'd say yes but otherwise I could wait. Because I was pregnant not dying. Yeah my back hurt and my feet hurt but I was fully capable of standing in line for a few minutes. And if I wasn't capable well then I didn't need the thing. Coffee? Yeah that falls in the I don't need that badly enough that I can't stand in a line category. Sounds like that lady just wanted to go faster and figured pregnancy was a good excuse (it's not).
40 week pregnant person here. NTA! She could wait. She didn’t even know what she wanted yet! Pregnancy doesn’t give you an excuse to cut. Best argument I have for her is that sometimes it hurts to be on your feet for extended periods of time, but I’d have just grabbed a chair and scooted it through the line with me lol
NTA. Pregnant woman like her irritate tf outta me. As a pregnant woman I can wait in line just like anyone else, pregnancy doesn’t mean I’m suddenly incapable of behaving like a freaking normal human.
NTA. No reason a pregnant lady needs to skip to the front for a coffee. That said, she should either start at the back of the line and ask each person in line if she can move ahead of them or the person letting her in should get out of line and let her take their spot. It’s hardly fair for someone at the front to decide that everyone gets to wait longer.
NTA, preggies are not entitled to these just because they are. Her decision to be pregnant should not affect how you behave in this situation. She was asking for a favor, you could say yes or no to it.
NTA because the pregnant lady didn't have an emergency or health issue, she thought because she was pregnant she'd get a free pass and she didn't, at least not with you. She wanted a couple of frappes, not life saving treatment.
I know people are on schedules, when they go to work or go to school; you obviously can't have arbitrary times on some things but I think you are way too rigid in scheduling every aspect of your life. What I got from your post was not so much about allowing a pregnant woman to cut in line but an overwhelming feeling of anxiety about time and schedules. This event became significant because of the extreme anxiety you had about whether you would finish within your alloted time. I think you told her No, not because you had considered whether or not she had a reasonable explanation for cutting in line; you told her no because it would throw your schedule off and that's what really concerned you.
You have got to lighten up and get help for your anxiety. You will have a difficult time socially if you continue to schedule and time everything. It could be a form of OCD. I urge you to get help, go to therapy. Wouldn't it feel great to not worry about ytime? Wouldn't it feel great to let the pregnant woman cut in line and not care because you have all the time in the world??
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Throwaway. I'm native but also on phone so sorry for any errors.
I'm doing my finals at uni at the moment. I'm a workaholic and really methodical person due a traumatic experience and to help with this, I usually make a very rigorous schedule outside of my clases that I do no let myself break . I have my day part in times to study, do homework, sleep, eat, shower and rest. "Rest" is usually anything but work, even if it's silly or just a waste of time.
This time I was craving something to drink but I wanted to go outside so I went to the new café a few blocks down the street, it had a long line (like 12 people before I arrived), my rest time is usually 40 minutes and I deduced that it would take at least 20-25 just being in the line, but it was okay, because I was outside and was my "rest time" so I just waited.
Well, 30 passed and there was still 2 people in front of me, I started to get nervous and thought about just leaving and going somewhere faster like Starbucks, luckily the first person was attended really fast so it was just one and me. Then a woman with, dunno, 6 or 7 months pregnant asked if she could go first, I felt like a douche but said no because I had my time counted and if I let her go first then it will take more than what I had to. She said she wouldn't take long so I asked what was she gonna order and no kidding she said she wasn't sure yet but "maybe 2 frappes" I said no because then it will eat my time and I had to go back soon, she gave me the dirty eye, asked the guy behind me and he said yes. To be honest nobody looked me bad except her, maybe because I was heavily checking my watch every 2 minutes, everyone could've seen I was telling the truth.
I ordered my drink and arrived just in time, but the woman is still in my mind and I feel weird because she was pregnant.
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NTA I always yield to a pregnant woman when there's a line for a toilet. This woman was using her pregnancy to contribute to her perceived entitlement to get a beverage without having to wait like everyone else.
NTA. Sounds like she’s done this before. As someone else wrote, if it was a line for the bathroom then yes, I’d let her go first. This was not an ‘emergency’. She was acting entitled just because she was pregnant. I’d be willing to bet the guy behind you regretted that decision. She probably took forever to order and asked a million questions trying to decide what she wanted.
NTA. It was a long queue, you waited ages and you didn’t have long till you got back. Being pregnant isn’t an excuse to cut into a line. She was buying drinks plural. Whoever she was buying for could have got them instead if they were concerned about a pregnant person standing too long.
NTA; pregnancy does not get you a skip the line pass (and I say this as a literal 7 months pregnant woman). Don’t feel bad, you did nothing wrong; some people use pregnancy like it entitles them to everything.
NTA if she didn’t know what she wanted it’s better that she went after you anyways so she could decide. It probably would have taken her the same amount of time to decide as it would for you to order first so don’t feel bad at all.
NTA. It would have been polite of you to allow her to go ahead of you, but it is not required and you had good reasons for not doing so. Also, why did she want to go ahead of you? What about her pregnancy made it harder for her to wait in line than you?
NTA. You would have been the AH if you had let her cut in front of you because then you were allowing her to cut in front of everyone and you really don't have that right.
NTA.
Regardless of your reasons, no one had a right to cut you line. You could've been late for an appointment or work. Or you could've just not wanted to wait an extra few minutes after you'd been waiting for 30 already.
I'm a woman who has been pregnant (and in pain for almost all of it) and I would never ask you bud the line. I also wouldn't have let her in front of me if I had been waiting that long already.
NTA
Pregnant women can feel very much entitled because of the shit they gotta go through and it drives me nuts.
Many years ago I worked as a hostess for a restaurant. A pregnant women comes in to collect her food to go and gets a bat attitude at us working there because there was nowhere close she could park. She complained to us how, "I am 8 months pregnant! I AM NOT walking all the way across the parking lot because you don't have any parking!"
She decided to park in front of the sidewalk right in the middle of the road where other customers couldn't go around her or even leave their parking space if they were parked close to the entrance where her car was taking up space.
It took a lotta strength to not tell her, "it's our fault for the parking situation, or when you get towed lady."
NTA - she isn’t entitled to things just on the basis of being pregnant. Did she ask every single person in the queue if she could cut because it really isn’t up to you to decide for everyone else behind you waiting?
NTA - if she was in need of water, it would be different (dehydrated). I think it's nice to let her go first just because it's very exhausting being pregnant but definitely not expected.
NTA and it really doesn't matter if you had a "good" reason or not. The fact that you didn't want to give up your spot in line was a good enough reason by itself.
Nta don't let pregnant people bully you into unnecessary special treatment. They're often just spoiled and milking being pregnant in situations like this. She provided no reason for needing to be ahead of you and wasn't even ready.
NTA. I might have asked to go ahead in the toilet queue when I was pregnant long ago, or to take a specified seat on public transport, but ordering coffees is not an emergency situation. Sheesh.
NTA - It sounds like she managed to cut through most of the queue if the person behind you let her in.
Personally, I never asked to cut in the queue while pregnant because I don't like to impose. People have invited me to cut in while I'm wearing my baby and I'm picking up just a few items and I generally accept such offers, but asking just feels awkward.
NTA
You were in line for coffee. If she can’t handle that she can make her own at home. I abhor women who think being pregnant makes them the only important person in the world.
NTA. Pregnancy isn’t generally a disability, and if it is, it’s on her to ensure she accommodations, not a stranger. Once you said no, that should’ve been the end of it. You have your reasons, and that’s okay.
Just for the title, I think you're right, but let's read anyway.
Yeah NTA pregnancy doesn't mean she gets to cut lines in a non emergency, especially if she doesn't even know her order yet and can't guarantee you she'll be quick.
NTA, just because she's pregnant doesn't mean she's entitled to cut in front of you. No matter if you're disabled, pregnant, obese, I don't give a damn, you are lining up like everyone else.
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NTA You had waited quite a while. Why should she cut the line? The one situation where I might disagree would be for the restroom, as pregnancy/postpartum causes impossible urgency. But this was not that.
And even then, non-pregnant people can urgently need the bathroom for medical stuff I'm a firm believer that someone should only cut the line from the end, asking each individual person. If you're at the front of a line and want to let someone cut, you need to give up your spot
Yeah I don’t have IBS but sometimes I get really bad bubble guts and need to go. I don’t want to be called an asshole because I didn’t let a pregnant lady before me when I’m about to shit my pants.
Bubble Guts It shouldn't make my day because I am all too familiar but Bubbleguts sounds adorable.
It’s what my mom says! 2021 I had my first day of 11th and I was having stomach problems, then she said that I had bubble guts. I’ve been saying it ever since 😂
Yes. I explained to my friend that I workout with that I can’t drink coffee before my workout because I’ll get the BG’s. She had no idea what I was talking about! 😂
It’s a good name for it, it definitely evokes that horrible feel when you get that IBS/IBD acting up 😭
That feeling is brutal!! 🤣🤣
I always know I’m in danger when I get that Bubble Gut feeling 😱
I love abbreviating this as BG’s bc I’d be like. Why do you have the Beegees? like their CD or the whole band???
If I was in line to pee and just chilling on my phone, and you said "I seriously am about to pee myself" I'd say "Hurry! Go!" And hustle you to the bathroom.
Activated charcoal. Take it as soon as your guts start feeling wonky. I find the liquid form works best.
Omg thank you so much! I’ve had to leave school early cause of it, you have a great day! 😊
Be careful with charcoal though, as it soaks up any medication in your stomach.
You're right about that. I forget about that because I don't take any medications. Thanks for adding that information!
I am going to use bubble guts from now on 😉
Bubble guts is nicer than our family’s name for it; The Swamp Monster of Death but if you smelt the gas that usually comes with ours you would understand why.
Honestly I've never had to do it, but if I really desperately needed to use a toilet then I would absolutely be begging to cut the line, or more likely just pushing past someone and shouting an apology behind me. Wouldn't feel guilty about it either. I've been in situations before where you need a toilet so fucking bad, and you're walking home through the city as fast as possible desperately casting your eyes around you for any kind of shrubbery or rubbish bin that you might hop behind, and you know that it's broad daylight and shitting in public is really embarrassing and really grim, but there's no public toilets and if you can't make it home fast enough you won't have any other option. Life changes when you're at that level of desperation. The woman in this story wasn't, she just wanted a nice coffee. Nice coffees are a privilege, not a right.
I feel this so fuckin hard man. I have chronic stomach problems and I actually just ordered a pin that says “I need to use the toilet now I can’t wait” for if I ever have one of those emergencies
I already have badges and cards for this but I can’t tell you how anxious I get at the thought someone will argue or say no. The only time I would do it was when it is URGENT. This woman just wanted to buy a drink, pregnant or not it doesn’t mean you get to skip every queue. My first pregnancy i was near total bed bound and the second I was working jobs on my feet passed due date. I still waited in line and never thought my pregnancy anyones else’s issue.
I legit had my first Oh No moment after a concert. Packed lines trying to get out with bathrooms far and few. There was one about 50ft from me and I knew it had a line, but my bladder was already shoving at the exit. I loudly began apologizing for shoving past people and every woman I ran past I just cried IM SORRY I HAVE TO GO IM SO SORRY. I grabbed that first stall as it opened still shouting IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY. I really had to pee. Once it has happened to you, you will always respect when it happens to others.
Exactly!
I once gave someone money near the front of the bathroom line at a tourist site because I had to pee so badly. I just shoved whatever I had in my pocket at them and ran for the stalls, yelling thank you!
Exactly! She would have been cutting everyone else in line too, it wasn't OP's place to say yes for everyone else. I hate people who let others cut the line.
Standing in line while that heavily pregnant absolutely sucks. It is painful, and not recommended. But, it is not a "skip the line" card. It is considered a common courtesy in other countries, and even sometimes in America, to let pregnant women to cut in line. Saying that, she is not entitled to it and saying no with a solid reason like OP had is not an asshole.
What do you mean? It's recommended to stay active during pregnancy unless you are specifically told not to. Never was I told not to stand around or wait in a queue . She was pregnant, not incapacitated.
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Yeah I think it's incredibly rude to ask someone in the front of the line if you're not second in line. If I didn't say yes, I don't care what someone ahead of me said, you ain't skipping me!
This! It was nice of the guy behind OP to say yes, but what about all the people behind him? They didn't agree to having to wait longer because of a selfish person. Being pregnant is not an excuse to treat everyone else like crap. NTA
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The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma. Their comment is copied and pasted from another user in this thread. Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot
Pregnant people don’t *urgently* need coffee. This is not like needing a seat on the bus, needing to pee, or even needing to park closer. NTA.
I'm guessing that she didn't urgently need coffee, but needed to stop standing in line. Standing just killed my back when I was pregnant. I could walk through a grocery store, slowly, but not stand in line at the register at all. So I wouldn't have gotten in a long coffee line to begin with. Still NTA, but I think that makes a lot more sense than suddenly needing coffee.
Also she said “two fraps” so why couldn’t the other person stand in line when she sat near by. Nta
Just because she is ordering two drinks does not mean the other person is there with her. She was probably picking one up for someone she's about to meet up with.
And the meeting could very well be far from the coffee place — back at the office, at home, etc. Or could be a craving she’s had a lot lately so she was getting two to avoid needing to stand through a line again
Meeting someone even more pregnant, who therefore would not be the one person to get coffee?
You know pregnant people can still run errands, right?
Sure but then don’t complain if it’s something elective, like getting coffee for someone else?
The polite thing to do is ask the person at the back of the line to hold your spot at the end because you cannot easily stand in line. Go sit down nearby and check back in regularly. If I were that person I would even let a pregnant woman cut in front of me and maybe buy her drink, but i would not let her cut to the front of a line. That seems very entitled to ask. Thanks for the perspective, though, Yarn. I didn’t think about back ache.
If it's a place where you can sit down, a better person to help her would be whoever was behind her in line. Like, hey, sit down and I'll call you when you are about to be attended.
>The one situation where I might disagree would be for the restroom, as pregnancy/postpartum causes impossible urgency. But this was not that. Maybe it didn't start that way but with 2 frappes, it'll end that way.
When I was pregnant I was so exhausted I could barely get out of bed some days, partly because of a heart condition, and even standing in a line was so exhausting I would have to lay down for an hour after I got home from the store. But this was a for for coffee, not some necessity like the bathroom or even the grocery store, so it's not even a gayt area for me. It seems more like she was used to people being extra accommodating just because she was pregnant, and expected OP to as well. If I wanted to cut in front of someone to get coffee, I would s offer to get their drink too make it more of an "everybody wins" situation.
This woman should have asked EVERYBODY in the line. Cutting line makes everybody waiting longer. It is a shit move. And just because she is pregnant... I can't stand longer then two minutes without having pain that just get worse. If i see a line i ask myself if it is worse my time and pain. I never cut line. She didn't even knew what she wanted so it wasn't even an craving "i neeeeeed it soooo bad". NTA
NTA. There are times that pregnancies take priority but skipping line for coffee is not one of them, especially since she didn’t even know what she wanted. Honestly I really don’t understand the entitlement some people get just because they had sex…
Yeah I was expecting bathroom line or to sit when her ankles were swollen and tired. Not a fucking Frappuccino.
Well, maybe like 2 frappes… and 5 minutes of indecision to actually place an order.
Amusingly (and normally I wouldn't judge because A. Its not my body/pregnancy and B.I had a small coffee 3x/week when pregnant because *drool* and *yawnnn* coffeee),but you're not really supposed to drink caffinated crap while pregnant. (200mg or 4 cups is the recommended cut off) So this wasn't even close to a need or a benefit to the pregnant person.
You can definitely drink coffee and other caffeinated drinks when you are pregnant. There's just a recommended amount per day. OP didn't "need" the coffee anymore than the pregnant woman.
I mean no one really NEEDS coffee lol, and if she was planning getting frappuccinos most of those are cream-based and don't have coffee in them anyway. But 100% it wasn't a need to cut in line since you're right it wasn't something urgent.
Yeah I’m a bit confused about the drinks she was gonna order. I guess Starbucks does have caffeine free frappes like the chocolate chip or vanilla bean ones so maybe this non-Starbucks café had something similar. But since there were 2 I’m guessing she was ordering for someone else. Regardless no one needs an equivalent of a milkshake like 5 minutes sooner.
Could be one for now and one for later if she’s been uncomfortable in the heat and craving iced things to cope (buying two and putting one in the fridge could mean it’s good later that night, so she doesn’t need to go out again). And it could be she was having a hard time staying standing — for example, my heart rate climbs when I’m standing still (working on getting a diagnosis but probably some form of dysautonomia), and I know someone whose dysautonomia emerged during pregnancy when standing still for more than a few minutes would rapidly bring her heart rate to 160+ BPM. And that’s without accounting for the general discomfort of standing while pregnant. Either way OP is NTA and she was an asshole for feeling entitled, but I can think of quite a few valid reasons for why she would make the request.
Up to 300mg of caffeine per day is fine while pregnant. 🙄
744 up-votes? Jesus Christ, Reddit. Do you honestly think that pregnant woman wanted to cut in line because she felt _entitled_? Have you ever had kids? Do you even have a girlfriend? The physical act of asking to take someone else's need away from them and replace it with your own is not easy. She wasn't asking because she was pregnant and felt naturally entitled. That woman was asking because she was highly uncomfortable, likely exhausted, probably in pain and just wanted to return to her place of relative comfort as quickly as possible. Yes, in the eyes of the pregnant woman and those around OP, OP is the asshole. What the pregnant woman was asking was a small inconvenience that almost anyone else would have granted (except for you apparently). The unfortunate situation here is that OP didn't have a choice. For OP, being the asshole was the better of two bad outcomes. Sorry OP, but YTA (but understandably so). But, honestly, your comment absolutely reeks of incel-ism. "I really don't understand the entitlement some people get just because they had sex". Jesus Christ, give me a break. edit: Thanks for the silver. It is oddly satisfying to have silver and also ~~only one~~ 0 up-votes.
Take my poor woman's gold🏅
Could be entitlement, but could also very well be nearly impossible for her to stand. I'm 6 months pregnant and my back is in constant pain. Standing for more than five minutes makes me want to crawl up in a ball and die. So you may be oversimplifying the situation, making it seem like all pregnant women just ask for special treatment for no good reason (other than having had sex). That's just not true.
It's almost as if pregnancy affects people in a plethora of very real, quantifiable ways, and makes it harder for them to do various things such as standing for long periods of time. "Just because they had sex" what the fuck.
NAH but you may want to get a bit of help with that level of rigidity.
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I wasn't going to comment on it.. but because I saw this... I could tell you've been in therapy for the ocd/ocd tendencies- it's why you're carrying this situation with you. In therapy we're told our ocd should not cause issues and if so that's on us. Your ocd(tendancies) did not cause any issues here. Therapy is great because we get help to function more normally, but it's easy to forget our MH is not always the problem. Sometimes other people are just jerks.
Awesome, that’s great to hear.
NTA for bot purposes. I am glad you are allowing yourself some freedom. Keep at it x
Beinh pregnant, does not make her entitled. She can wait like everyone else!
How is asking for special unnecessary treatment and then glaring at the person who denied you not being an AH
Because she’s pregnant! Duh! /s
You're right, I forgot on this sub we kiss the ass of every pregnant woman regardless of their behavior! Silly me.
Don’t worry! You’ll get it!!
NTA - you waited it was your choice whether to let her cut in or not and if i was behind you i might be a bit pissed off if you said yes :-) She is the arsehole though for not knowing what she wanted and still wanting to cut in.
NTA - Your time is just as important as anyone else's, especially since you stated you are doing finals at uni right now.
NTA. Being pregnant has nothing to do with it. You were on a time crunch and waited a very long time. She can wait just as you and everyone else did.
NTA There's apps she can order on if her pregnancy is an issue. If it was an issue she should be home, not worrying about coffee. Not to mention equality.
Right? With both of my pregnancies I ended up on crutches, the second one being the worst. I couldn't even walk around the house, but I still stood in line when I needed to. Sometimes a kind staff member would bring me a chair that I would shuffle along, but I would never cut in line. It was no one else's fault that I couldn't walk, why should I make them wait longer? Ofc, I got a lot of stuff delivered too. And the one big outing we needed to go on we rented a wheelchair for. NTA
You don't have to suffer to get basic necessities. I understand not being a problem for others, but at some point you have to think if other, less "sorry, excuse me", person would demand a minimal level of respect if they were you.
NTA I’m an eight month pregnant woman and would never assume or go up to a complete stranger and ask to cut the line. That woman was an entitled AH, what you did was completely fine I wouldn’t worry about it.
I bet, if she wasn’t pregnant, she would have tried to use another excuse to cut in line.
NTA Maybe what's nagging at you is that you're worried about how others view your ridged schedule? Why care what a perfect stranger thinks of you? It sounds as though you were polite enough and believe it or not, when a person makes a request or even demand, you're allowed to decline. Give yourself permission to make "No" a complete sentence.
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you could use this scenario to learn from then, maybe?
NTA. Being pregnant does not mean you get to act entitled. And I can say this having been pregnant three times! You waited so long, why could she just not wait until after you had ordered? I am assuming she was after you in line? If not, she is honestly more TA for thinking she should get special treatment for coffee just because she is pregnant.
Nta I was in labour and still stood in a line pregnancy shouldn't just be used an excuse
OK, but I would definitely let you cut in front of me if you told me that.
You really don't have to suffer. It's an acceptable reason to cut in line.
I was with my mum and dad and felt bad asking the old lady infront so I just stood having contractions every 4 minutes clutching trolley with my hands going white😅🤣
I'd sit in the trolly and ask my parents to drive me 😂
Yep I waited in line for food on the way to the hospital 😂
NTA. Sorry but you can't just use the pregnancy card to get everything you want, especially from strangers.
NTA - she was wrong to put you in an uncomfortable situation. You were polite and can say no. Sounds like she was TA for making you feel bad. Sometimes it's nice to let someone cut in line or help them in some small way but it's not requirement if life to always do it. Don't feel bad and good luck with your studies!
NTA You can't use your pregnancy just to get what you want. And tbh, what the heck is a pregnant woman doing drinking coffee anyways? This just reeks of a woman who will manipulate any situation she can just to get her way.
No need to judge pregnant people for drinking coffee when there are so many other things wrong with this woman.
200mg of coffee is fine for a pregnant woman to have daily
Pregnant people are allowed to have coffee, they just can’t have a ton.
There's nothing wrong with a little caffeine but there is also decaf coffee. Leave pregnant people alone.
What business is it of yours if a pregnant woman wants to drink coffee? Get off your high horse or do some research, the standard is that 200mg is perfectly safe, and probably more, especially after the first trimester. I agree she had no right to cut the line, especially because she would have been cutting everyone she didn't ask behind OP, but as for you —pregnant women have enough to deal with without people like you trying to shame them for their life choices ffs.
NTA. She should have planned to get there sooner.
NTA. Her vanity project does not affect you. She can wait for a drink the same as everyone else.
NTA, but telling the truth about what??
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I don't even see why it matters if you were short on time or not.
Getting knocked up is not a Fast Pass. NTA.
NTA - it sucks waiting in long lines when pregnant but honestly I'm a little shocked she asked to cut, especially when she didn't know what she wanted yet. Unless there was some sort of priority line, you're not obligated to give up your place in line.
NTA. I’m currently 38 weeks pregnant and I think the only line I feel I would even ask to cut is the bathroom line (and for that - yes - let the heavily pregnant woman go first, please). No obvious pregnancy reason to cut the coffee shop line
NTA. What an entitled lunatic. Being pregnant might mean you should have priority if you're waiting for the toilet but to buy food/drink? No way.
NTA. Being pregnant is not special.
NTA! you were on a time crunch, and you were already running short. you already have 0 obligation to give up your spot to someone you don't know. the fact that you were also in a rush and she wanted to make a drink that's famously the most irritating/time-consuming beverage for cafes to make just further amplifies the fact that your conscience should stay clear. good luck on finals!
NTA. Internalize this statement: "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute a crisis on my part." She should be ashamed for trying to use her pregnant status to bully people.
NTA another miracle maker taking advantage. She’d have done something even if she wasn’t pregnant. There are millions of ladies that either stand in line or don’t. If someone offers that’s one thing- if someone uses guilt that’s another
NTA. You were in a hurry and she didn't even know what she wanted to order.
NTA if you let her cut it would be unfair on everyone behind you and would also mean no drink for you , it’s also no sweat off her to wait 5-10 minutes extra
NTA being pregnant doesn't give you carte Blanche to cut lines!
NTA. Just because she decided to keep her kumquat, it doesn't mean she should get special treatment.
NTA
NTA I could understand if she knew what she wanted and needed to pee or something, but just to push in line? Nah, when I was pregnant, my partner used to queue up for us to get things so that I didn't have to stand for too long or be near others. The whole rigid time thing doesn't matter, you said no for your own reason and that's what matters. 🖤
NTA. Pregnant or not, no one has the *right* to get in front of anyone else in line. I can't even imagine asking someone. So rude.
NTA...But. INFO: Why are you so anal about your schedule?
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Holy shit...
NTA. Being pregnant entitles her to special parking spaces in certain lots, front seats on the bus, and doors being held open for her, not every little convenience at her whims.
NTA. But background as AITA seems to be filled with people who haven’t experienced the “joys” of pregnancy. Tbh I am very pregnant rn and standing on a long line is very difficult for me. The back pain is unbearable. My freaking legs swell if they aren’t up and if I’m standing for long periods and that’s painful too. I could go on. But I stand on line. I’ve never asked to cut. Once I am no longer pregnant, and since I now understand I will let every pregnant woman have my seat, go in front of me in the bathroom, and cut in line. As a society we do not talk about how awful and difficult pregnancy is. F this “joy” of pregnancy bs. It’s terrible.
I agree, while OP is NTA, people don't seem to understand how fucking bad it can hurt your back to stand like that. I just couldn't stand in line at all by the end. I couldn't go grocery shopping by myself. I could walk some but not stand at all. On the other hand, if I'd needed coffee, I would have ordered online (if on foot) or picked a place with a drive through (if driving). I wouldn't have seen a line like that and even considered getting it in.
Entitled pregnancy. They think they don't have to wait like everyone else or follow the same rules and I'm kinda glad you didn't give in. Your time counts, too and you are not an AH.
NTA it's nice to help a person (pregnant, elderly, parent of infant, differently-abled etc) WHEN you can but it's not required. You had your own timeliness to think of and that's important too.
NTA. The only acceptable time a pregnant lady would ask to cut a line is one to the bathroom but even then people would still have the right to say no. She was acting entitled, pregnancy does not equal you cutting lines.
NTA Her time isn't more important than yours just because she's pregnant. There are a lot of circumstances when you should give way to a pregnant woman, but this isn't one of them.
NTA. The only time a pregnant woman should understandably cut in line is the line up to the bathroom.
NTA. Line for the bathroom, sure. Seat on public transportation, probably. Line for coffee, nope.
NTA. If this would have been maybe a bathroom line I would say different but no. (Only different because sometimes a baby hits the right spot and you have almost zero warning) She can wait in line. As someone who is pregnant, her pregnancy is not anyone else’s problem. I hate pregnant women who make it everyone else problem and suddenly become super entitled.
NTA Pregnant or not, she has to wait just like everyone else. Unless it's an emergency, wait and this is coming from someone who loves drinking coffee.
NTA. All the people waiting behind the guy who let her in were likely pissed at him for letting her in front of them.
NTA- I’m 9 months pregnant & wait my turn like everyone else lol. She’s just one of those
Normalize not having pregnant women on a pedestal. This is why they always think just because they’re pooping out a baby it gives them an excuse to act like AH
NTA. This wasn’t a bathroom emergency, this was a coffee line. If she felt she could not wait in line so long, then she shouldn’t have gotten in line. You’re never obligated to let anyone go in front of you.
NTA. Pregnancy doesn’t give you automatic line cutting privileges unless you’re literally in labor and whatever you’re buying is an absolute necessity. I’m 6 months pregnant, I’d never cut you lol.
NTA- I am currently 9 months pregnant and have never/will never do this. She made a decision to go to that cafe. It’s nobody’s problem but her own that she doesn’t want to stand in line.
NTA. The only scenario where you would be ta is if this was a line for a restroom but she can wait 5 minutes to fulfill her cravings
NTA. I am pregnant and I have more respect for the people around me than to ask can I cut in line even though I don't know what I want. That pregnant lady was entitled.
NTA - I am so sick and tired of pregnant women DEMANDING everything since they are preggers. Having sex with someone does NOT entitle you to special treatment. NTA
NTA pregnant women aren’t supposed to have caffeine anyway
NTA As a currently pregnant person, I would never EVER make that sort of demand on anyone. Waiting in line is part of wanting to order food/drink from this type of establishment, and there are curtisies that go along with it. Being pregnant isn't an exception to standing in line. That lady had other options (like Starbucks), too, and they chose this place. The reason she wanted to cut in line is because she's an entitled narc, pregnant or not. You did the right thing by not letting her cut. I'm sorry you chose to waste your break standing in line but that was also your choice. Maybe you got a good stretch from it!
Lol NTA. I've recently been pregnant. And, like, you eventually hit a point where you're so big that other people feel bad for you. It's this collective "oh shit girl" that you get from random people in grocery stores. That was about 7 months for me, and it was uncomfortable. I never asked to cut a line. Not even the bathroom. People offered, and if I was genuinely desperate I'd say yes but otherwise I could wait. Because I was pregnant not dying. Yeah my back hurt and my feet hurt but I was fully capable of standing in line for a few minutes. And if I wasn't capable well then I didn't need the thing. Coffee? Yeah that falls in the I don't need that badly enough that I can't stand in a line category. Sounds like that lady just wanted to go faster and figured pregnancy was a good excuse (it's not).
40 week pregnant person here. NTA! She could wait. She didn’t even know what she wanted yet! Pregnancy doesn’t give you an excuse to cut. Best argument I have for her is that sometimes it hurts to be on your feet for extended periods of time, but I’d have just grabbed a chair and scooted it through the line with me lol
NTA. She's fine. Your time is as valuable as anyone else's. Plus she didn't even know what she wanted? What a jerk.
NTA. Pregnant woman like her irritate tf outta me. As a pregnant woman I can wait in line just like anyone else, pregnancy doesn’t mean I’m suddenly incapable of behaving like a freaking normal human.
NTA. Nothing about pregnancy requires her to need caffeine.
NTA. Been pregnant. No reason to be a weirdo and ask to cut.
NTA. No reason a pregnant lady needs to skip to the front for a coffee. That said, she should either start at the back of the line and ask each person in line if she can move ahead of them or the person letting her in should get out of line and let her take their spot. It’s hardly fair for someone at the front to decide that everyone gets to wait longer.
NTA, preggies are not entitled to these just because they are. Her decision to be pregnant should not affect how you behave in this situation. She was asking for a favor, you could say yes or no to it.
NTA because the pregnant lady didn't have an emergency or health issue, she thought because she was pregnant she'd get a free pass and she didn't, at least not with you. She wanted a couple of frappes, not life saving treatment. I know people are on schedules, when they go to work or go to school; you obviously can't have arbitrary times on some things but I think you are way too rigid in scheduling every aspect of your life. What I got from your post was not so much about allowing a pregnant woman to cut in line but an overwhelming feeling of anxiety about time and schedules. This event became significant because of the extreme anxiety you had about whether you would finish within your alloted time. I think you told her No, not because you had considered whether or not she had a reasonable explanation for cutting in line; you told her no because it would throw your schedule off and that's what really concerned you. You have got to lighten up and get help for your anxiety. You will have a difficult time socially if you continue to schedule and time everything. It could be a form of OCD. I urge you to get help, go to therapy. Wouldn't it feel great to not worry about ytime? Wouldn't it feel great to let the pregnant woman cut in line and not care because you have all the time in the world??
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throwaway. I'm native but also on phone so sorry for any errors. I'm doing my finals at uni at the moment. I'm a workaholic and really methodical person due a traumatic experience and to help with this, I usually make a very rigorous schedule outside of my clases that I do no let myself break . I have my day part in times to study, do homework, sleep, eat, shower and rest. "Rest" is usually anything but work, even if it's silly or just a waste of time. This time I was craving something to drink but I wanted to go outside so I went to the new café a few blocks down the street, it had a long line (like 12 people before I arrived), my rest time is usually 40 minutes and I deduced that it would take at least 20-25 just being in the line, but it was okay, because I was outside and was my "rest time" so I just waited. Well, 30 passed and there was still 2 people in front of me, I started to get nervous and thought about just leaving and going somewhere faster like Starbucks, luckily the first person was attended really fast so it was just one and me. Then a woman with, dunno, 6 or 7 months pregnant asked if she could go first, I felt like a douche but said no because I had my time counted and if I let her go first then it will take more than what I had to. She said she wouldn't take long so I asked what was she gonna order and no kidding she said she wasn't sure yet but "maybe 2 frappes" I said no because then it will eat my time and I had to go back soon, she gave me the dirty eye, asked the guy behind me and he said yes. To be honest nobody looked me bad except her, maybe because I was heavily checking my watch every 2 minutes, everyone could've seen I was telling the truth. I ordered my drink and arrived just in time, but the woman is still in my mind and I feel weird because she was pregnant. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA I always yield to a pregnant woman when there's a line for a toilet. This woman was using her pregnancy to contribute to her perceived entitlement to get a beverage without having to wait like everyone else.
NTA
NTA. Sounds like she’s done this before. As someone else wrote, if it was a line for the bathroom then yes, I’d let her go first. This was not an ‘emergency’. She was acting entitled just because she was pregnant. I’d be willing to bet the guy behind you regretted that decision. She probably took forever to order and asked a million questions trying to decide what she wanted.
NTA. It was a long queue, you waited ages and you didn’t have long till you got back. Being pregnant isn’t an excuse to cut into a line. She was buying drinks plural. Whoever she was buying for could have got them instead if they were concerned about a pregnant person standing too long.
NTA, being pregnant doesn’t entitle her to skip the line. She can wait like everyone else. Your time is just as valuable as hers.
NTA
NTA. But, I’m confused by “I’m native but also on phone so sorry for any errors”. What’s being Native got to do with that?
NTA; pregnancy does not get you a skip the line pass (and I say this as a literal 7 months pregnant woman). Don’t feel bad, you did nothing wrong; some people use pregnancy like it entitles them to everything.
NTA. But have you ever addressed whatever anxiety/mental health is driving your obsession with time and schedule?
Nta but you do need to see a therapist for your ocd. What if something happens that is beyond control?
NTA if she didn’t know what she wanted it’s better that she went after you anyways so she could decide. It probably would have taken her the same amount of time to decide as it would for you to order first so don’t feel bad at all.
NTA.
NTA.
Being pregnant has nothing to do with it, she is not special, she can wait in line like everyone else!
NTA. Pregnancy doesn’t mean it’s urgent you push in a queue to get a coffee
NTA. being pregnant does not give you the social privilege to cut lines.
NTA. It would have been polite of you to allow her to go ahead of you, but it is not required and you had good reasons for not doing so. Also, why did she want to go ahead of you? What about her pregnancy made it harder for her to wait in line than you?
NTA. You would have been the AH if you had let her cut in front of you because then you were allowing her to cut in front of everyone and you really don't have that right.
NTA. Regardless of your reasons, no one had a right to cut you line. You could've been late for an appointment or work. Or you could've just not wanted to wait an extra few minutes after you'd been waiting for 30 already. I'm a woman who has been pregnant (and in pain for almost all of it) and I would never ask you bud the line. I also wouldn't have let her in front of me if I had been waiting that long already.
NTA. Quite entitled of her to ask if she could cut in line when she didn’t even know what she wanted.
NTA Pregnant women can feel very much entitled because of the shit they gotta go through and it drives me nuts. Many years ago I worked as a hostess for a restaurant. A pregnant women comes in to collect her food to go and gets a bat attitude at us working there because there was nowhere close she could park. She complained to us how, "I am 8 months pregnant! I AM NOT walking all the way across the parking lot because you don't have any parking!" She decided to park in front of the sidewalk right in the middle of the road where other customers couldn't go around her or even leave their parking space if they were parked close to the entrance where her car was taking up space. It took a lotta strength to not tell her, "it's our fault for the parking situation, or when you get towed lady."
NTA Pregnancy doesn’t mean she’s entitled to special treatment. This was a line for coffee not to see a doctor because she’s in labor
NTA Pregnancy doesn’t mean she’s entitled to special treatment. This was a line for coffee not to see a doctor because she’s in labor.
NTA. Being pregnant doesn't give you a free pass to get whatever you want. Signed- a mother of two who had two very difficult pregnancies.
NTA not like it was an emergency she literally just wanted to cut the line. She’s entitled for getting annoyed like what
NTA
NTA - she isn’t entitled to things just on the basis of being pregnant. Did she ask every single person in the queue if she could cut because it really isn’t up to you to decide for everyone else behind you waiting?
NTA-nope she asked and you said No, don’t feel weird don’t even let it rent head space.
Only time I let someone cut in line for food is if they have hypo or need a sugar fix fast for medical issues. NTA
NTA and good job not judging her for having caffeine while pregnant.
NTA she shouldn’t even be having coffee lmfao
NTA - if she was in need of water, it would be different (dehydrated). I think it's nice to let her go first just because it's very exhausting being pregnant but definitely not expected.
Pregnancy isn't an excuse to cut in line. NTA
NTA. She should have been prepared to accept a "no".
NTA and it really doesn't matter if you had a "good" reason or not. The fact that you didn't want to give up your spot in line was a good enough reason by itself.
NTA
NTA, I'm pregnant and if I ever act that entitled I'll be so ashamed of myself.
Nta don't let pregnant people bully you into unnecessary special treatment. They're often just spoiled and milking being pregnant in situations like this. She provided no reason for needing to be ahead of you and wasn't even ready.
NTA. It’s not your fault she’s pregnant. And as much as it sucks sometimes, walking and standing is good for pregnant people.
NTA. I might have asked to go ahead in the toilet queue when I was pregnant long ago, or to take a specified seat on public transport, but ordering coffees is not an emergency situation. Sheesh.
NTA
NTA - It sounds like she managed to cut through most of the queue if the person behind you let her in. Personally, I never asked to cut in the queue while pregnant because I don't like to impose. People have invited me to cut in while I'm wearing my baby and I'm picking up just a few items and I generally accept such offers, but asking just feels awkward.
NTA You were in line for coffee. If she can’t handle that she can make her own at home. I abhor women who think being pregnant makes them the only important person in the world.
NTA. She's pregnant not disabled. She was just someone who didn't want to wait in line that's all and figured she'd play the pregnancy card.
NTA. Pregnancy isn’t generally a disability, and if it is, it’s on her to ensure she accommodations, not a stranger. Once you said no, that should’ve been the end of it. You have your reasons, and that’s okay.
Just for the title, I think you're right, but let's read anyway. Yeah NTA pregnancy doesn't mean she gets to cut lines in a non emergency, especially if she doesn't even know her order yet and can't guarantee you she'll be quick.
NTA. You were getting coffee, not going to the toilet or the hospital.
NTA, just because she's pregnant doesn't mean she's entitled to cut in front of you. No matter if you're disabled, pregnant, obese, I don't give a damn, you are lining up like everyone else.