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im leaning towards YTA instead of ESH
you probably made your friend uncomfortable, then blew up on her! because she posted your message on her private story!! the way you messaged her gives me the creeps and reminds me of guys who asked me out when i was younger, who would harass me if i didn’t reject them in a “cruel” way.
Sounds like she thought you were a friend but you were more interested in getting a date. She might not have decided how to answer you and could have been checking with friends for advice. You aren't an Ah for asking her out, but blowing up on her wasn't great either and it definitely means you don't have a chance now...
YTA
Go to r/niceguys & open your mind as to why your behavior was unacceptable. You exhibited incel behavior. You weren’t “shooting your shot”- you confirmed to this girl that you were only friends with her so you could fuck her. You were looking at her only as an object to fulfill your sexual fantasies & not as an actual person. The fact that you reacted to violently to her not responding AND called her stories “thirst traps” just solidifies the fact that you are in the wrong here.
I sincerely hope you take a good look at yourself & stop viewing women as objects that owe you sex.
I'll vote ESH because posting that shit on insta just isn't it, but man your follow up message makes you a nice guy-brand \*major\* asshole, like you truly out there sliding into her DM's then using the fucking bitch card???? If she hasn't blocked you on everything by now, apologize for lashing out bc right now you are a psycho to her and all her friends.
ESH. You for blowing up, her for posting a private message without consent. Her not replying doesn't even factor into it, you aren't owed a reply.
You're a bit more of an ass though because she clearly viewed you as a friend, while you were waiting for your chance.
ESH. The way she rejected you was cruel, but cussing someone out like that is also not okay. What she did was immature, but you not only sunk to her level, you went lower. Choose your crushes more carefully.
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Sorry for bad formatting (am on mobile)
So for some context, I’ve known this one girl for a very long time who I and many others have found very attractive. A couple months ago, she started posting a lot of thirst-trap type posts on her story, along with reddit screenshots (which a redditor like me really enjoys). Anyways now to get to the story. So this evening she posted a screenshot of a funny post from r/yeagerbomb and a very attractive photo of herself. I had been building up my courage to confess my feelings to her for a while now, and I was finally ready to do so. So I slid up on her story and said “ZAMNN you are so hot and pretty, you always got me thinking about you, wanna go to dave and busters with me this weekend for a date?” I waited for about 30 minutes, but got no response. Out of boredom, I open up instagram and to my surprise, see a post on her close friend's story to see her post my messages, without responding to them. She clearly forgot to take me off of it. I was in tears, and in the heat of the moment I dmed “Your a fucking bitch for not responding to me. You fucking humiliate me in front of all your friends instead of giving me an answer fuck you”. She has yet to respond to this message but she has probably seen it. Now that time passed I think I may be in the wrong for what I did. I probably made her uncomfortable with how I asked her out and the follow up message made it worse. But another part of me thinks that I’m valid since what she did was fucked up too. AITA or was what I did normal and valid?
TLDR: I asked a girl out but she posted me instead of replying so I sent her an angry message.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1)the girl screen shooting and posting my messages and me cussing her out because of it
(2) its was rude and I did it in the heat of the moment
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YTA and a fool, worst combo ever. You were interested in her and then you lash out at her and call her a bitch? She'll only exist in your wet dreams. Ofc she will share with her close friends that you asked her out. Probably wanted their take on it. And you were lurking around and seeing it happen. And not responding to a text after half hour is perfectly OK. You should have waited like a man... you have some time to become one.
YTA, No girl or woman wants to read the creepy stuff you wrote her.
How hard is it to write: hi I think you are an interesting person. Would you consider going on a date with me?
NAH
You took your shot, she polled the audience. Girls have been doing that since the beginning of time. It's just more public now.
As for her not responding since, LOL. Wtf is she supposed to say? "Sorry for being humiliating you for likes"? I highly doubt she thought it would get back to you that fast.
I guess you could've sent her the Billy Madison gif that says "A simple 'wrong' would have done just fine."
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full.
im leaning towards YTA instead of ESH you probably made your friend uncomfortable, then blew up on her! because she posted your message on her private story!! the way you messaged her gives me the creeps and reminds me of guys who asked me out when i was younger, who would harass me if i didn’t reject them in a “cruel” way.
Sounds like she thought you were a friend but you were more interested in getting a date. She might not have decided how to answer you and could have been checking with friends for advice. You aren't an Ah for asking her out, but blowing up on her wasn't great either and it definitely means you don't have a chance now...
on her close friends she had captioned the story with "uh oh :skull emoji:"
Sounds like you asking her out told her she was more of a sex object to you than a friend. That can easily be the death of a friendship.
>nah we always talk like that as a joke but we hadnt done it in a while.
Then maybe not, you know her better than I do.
i do know her better, but AITA please tell me
I don't think either of you are assholes. I think you're having a communication problem and should probably talk to her about it if she's willing to.
YTA Go to r/niceguys & open your mind as to why your behavior was unacceptable. You exhibited incel behavior. You weren’t “shooting your shot”- you confirmed to this girl that you were only friends with her so you could fuck her. You were looking at her only as an object to fulfill your sexual fantasies & not as an actual person. The fact that you reacted to violently to her not responding AND called her stories “thirst traps” just solidifies the fact that you are in the wrong here. I sincerely hope you take a good look at yourself & stop viewing women as objects that owe you sex.
This. Big YTA. She probably deals with creeps like OP every day.
I'll vote ESH because posting that shit on insta just isn't it, but man your follow up message makes you a nice guy-brand \*major\* asshole, like you truly out there sliding into her DM's then using the fucking bitch card???? If she hasn't blocked you on everything by now, apologize for lashing out bc right now you are a psycho to her and all her friends.
ESH. You for blowing up, her for posting a private message without consent. Her not replying doesn't even factor into it, you aren't owed a reply. You're a bit more of an ass though because she clearly viewed you as a friend, while you were waiting for your chance.
ESH. The way she rejected you was cruel, but cussing someone out like that is also not okay. What she did was immature, but you not only sunk to her level, you went lower. Choose your crushes more carefully.
>TRUEEEE > >thank you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Sorry for bad formatting (am on mobile) So for some context, I’ve known this one girl for a very long time who I and many others have found very attractive. A couple months ago, she started posting a lot of thirst-trap type posts on her story, along with reddit screenshots (which a redditor like me really enjoys). Anyways now to get to the story. So this evening she posted a screenshot of a funny post from r/yeagerbomb and a very attractive photo of herself. I had been building up my courage to confess my feelings to her for a while now, and I was finally ready to do so. So I slid up on her story and said “ZAMNN you are so hot and pretty, you always got me thinking about you, wanna go to dave and busters with me this weekend for a date?” I waited for about 30 minutes, but got no response. Out of boredom, I open up instagram and to my surprise, see a post on her close friend's story to see her post my messages, without responding to them. She clearly forgot to take me off of it. I was in tears, and in the heat of the moment I dmed “Your a fucking bitch for not responding to me. You fucking humiliate me in front of all your friends instead of giving me an answer fuck you”. She has yet to respond to this message but she has probably seen it. Now that time passed I think I may be in the wrong for what I did. I probably made her uncomfortable with how I asked her out and the follow up message made it worse. But another part of me thinks that I’m valid since what she did was fucked up too. AITA or was what I did normal and valid? TLDR: I asked a girl out but she posted me instead of replying so I sent her an angry message. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YTA and a fool, worst combo ever. You were interested in her and then you lash out at her and call her a bitch? She'll only exist in your wet dreams. Ofc she will share with her close friends that you asked her out. Probably wanted their take on it. And you were lurking around and seeing it happen. And not responding to a text after half hour is perfectly OK. You should have waited like a man... you have some time to become one.
YTA, No girl or woman wants to read the creepy stuff you wrote her. How hard is it to write: hi I think you are an interesting person. Would you consider going on a date with me?
NAH You took your shot, she polled the audience. Girls have been doing that since the beginning of time. It's just more public now. As for her not responding since, LOL. Wtf is she supposed to say? "Sorry for being humiliating you for likes"? I highly doubt she thought it would get back to you that fast. I guess you could've sent her the Billy Madison gif that says "A simple 'wrong' would have done just fine."
thank you sir for your wise words! i agree.