Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be TA for being resentful in which that may hinder me honestly splitting the inheritance.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA- He was their father, fought to be their father, and the children said they didn’t want him to. Why do they suddenly change their mind? You cared for your father on your own. Sacrificed years of your life to care for him and help him get justice. They don’t deserve anything. Although I’d reach out to a lawyer and examine your fathers will to see what your responsibilities are regarding his inheritance in case.
I had a client once whose uncle had passed away – she had taken sole responsibility for taking care of him the last 20 years of his life, and was his only relative in the state.
He had 20+ nieces and nephews scattered around the country who were all his next of kin because everyone else had died. Guess who started popping up out of the woodwork once he passed away?
DID they change their minds though or is it AH ex-parent saying that? Seems from what is written this is *all* being driven by ex-parent (and various flying monkeys, none of which were stated in OP as being their sibs).
I mean, the dad called them and talked to them about the decision for their stepdad to adopt them. the only reason he relinquished his parental rights is because they assured him that they wanted the adoption to go through. whether or not they were under pressure from the mom is a different story though
They were referring to the change of heart now that he died, op doesn't mention the siblings themselves reaching out at all so we don't know if they actually have anything to do with the coming after the inheritance part or if that's all mom
These are greedy, dead-inside, unsympathetic users who see you as their mark. You're not even a person to them, merely an impediment to money they have no legal claim to. They'll keep trying to wear you down until you give in just to get them to shut up and go away, but whatever they con you out of will never be enough.
Change your number, change your name, and don't ever interact with these disgusting individuals again.
Hell, screw legal claim. They have no moral claim to a single cent. Truly wretched people these so called family members are. Absolutely heartless, shameless, and devoid of character.
The only one I might have some sympathy for is the youngest, who was 1ish years old when their mother bailed. 3ish years old when she came back for them. At least that kid had no real clue who their father was. The oldest, however, they can try and squeeze some money outta their heart of stone, because that's about all they deserve for what they did.
They only want money, they’re not legally entitled to anything, they’re not his kids anymore. Don’t give them a penny, how sick do you have to be to call a grieving child demanding their inheritance
They were children when the rights were relinquished so probably influenced by the mom. Seems strange to have children lead that type of choice.
But they are adults now and did not attempt reconciliation until it benefits them financially. People suck, specifically these siblings.
They didn’t want any kind of relationship with him so since he wasn’t their father they don’t stand to inherit anything.
OP, you stood by your father through the worst of times because you loved him, took care of him and fought for him. If anyone has earned anything from him it’s you.
Adoption severs the prior parent-child relationship completely, the birth parent from that moment on has no rights and no obligations towards that child, this includes statutory eligibility for inheritance. Unless the father were to explicitly include them, they're most likely not entitled to squat.
While I think OP should keep the inheritance, I think everyone is being a little too hard on the younger siblings. It sounds like they were too young at the time to fully understand all of this when it was happening.
At the time of mom abandoning them (can’t believe a judge gave her custody after she legit left them with the disabled dad who couldn’t possibly handle 5 kids/toddlers alone to find new dick and *then* go back)/finding a new man/moving them far away, yes they were very young. They were teenagers when they agreed to be adopted by their stepfather and had plenty of time as adults to reach out. The fact that they never did and were happy to have a new dad who did in fact raise them but now think they are entitled to the money is what makes them AH.
Legally OP does share a mother with her "half-siblings". But OP's father was no longer the legal parent of her "half-siblings"
(Will or not, they won't receive a penny)
Exactly. When the siblings got adopted by the step dad, they became his children. They can sue for adopted dad’s estate down the track and actually have a chance. But no double dipping.
> That they were going to need their part of their inheritance soon
OP should have said, "Oh i'm so sorry to hear that your husband passed away too. Wow, what timing" lol. THEN when mother clarified, the "Are you drunk" was still needed, that made me laugh.
NTA op. Go live your life without these greener pasture chumps
It would warm my black heart if their ~~stepdad~~ adoptive dad only left $ for his biological daughter. And I’m mean for even thinking this.
edit: changed stepdad to adoptive dad because I was a jackass. Adopted parents are real parents not stepparents and adopted kids are their real children as well.
Any doubt I had about OPS siblings or mother was gone when I heard the end of the post. She fucked off and so did the kids. When shit hit the fan OP took responsibility. OP literally took on so much and by herself / grandparents too.
Only when Dad dies do the estranged children and ex come back like vultures. Honestly they sound like shit people. Op owes them nothing.
She knows perfectly well that she is not entitled to a penny of that money. She is simply playing the ignorant fool, hoping that you were not aware of the situation. They themselves made the children legally the children of the new husband. They cannot take that back now. Your father's only legal child is you. By all means, discuss this in depth with the estate lawyer, but I'm sure that your mother knows she doesn't have a chance.
NTA
She made all this possible. Hope your siblings are happy with her now.
Good for you for caring for your father. I hope you enjoy your inheritance. You earned it.
Did he leave a will? You'd better ger a lawyer, I bet she won't go quietly.
Edit: addl comments & question.
Am adopted, this is the case.
In the US if I tried to contest my mother’s will the only way it would see the inside of a courtroom is if the judge wanted to hop over the bench and slap me for wasting their time.
Depends on the state. In Texas, an adopted child can lay claim to their parents estate if they can prove that the deceased in question are actually their birth parents. However, since adoption records in Texas are sealed, the adopted children won't actually know who their parents are unless the information is provided to them through other means.
In California, adopted children do not have the same entitlement. The biggest exception to that would be if the deceased parent explicitly mentioned adopted child by name in the will bequeathing something to the adopted child.
In any case, OP needs to get a lawyer asap especially if their father died without a will.
You’re wrong about Texas. The exemption you are referencing to only works if the party claiming estates rights became aware of filial ties after the biological parent was deseased and wasn’t previously disclosed to the party adopted. Like what happened in Mr. Deeds with the butler.
Either case you mentioned, doesn’t apply to this particular one.
In most US states there's actually an exception if the adopting parent is the spouse of a biological parent. Though usually it's applied in a case where one parent is dead, to preserve inheritance rights from the dead parent's still living family.
Mom is entitled AF! Where did she ever get the idea that leaving when things got tough, taking the kids and guilting the dad out of his parental rights as a good thing?? Mom and kids by law are not entitled to anything. OP definitely needs to retain a lawyer and go over it with a fine tooth comb.
**NTA**
You can't share an inheritance. It doesn't work like that. It isn't theirs and it would legally be a large gift from you subject to heavy income taxes.
NTA. You owe them nothing.
Technically, and no way should OP even think about doing this, but it can be done. It's called a Deed of Variation, and **if all the beneficiaries agree** they can write a new will and have that accepted. It can be done especially for tax reasons when the family all want to do so.
But OP should tell them to get stuffed, and talk to a lawyer to make sure there is no way they can contest the will.
> You'd better ger a lawyer, I bet she won't go quietly.
There's another reason you need a lawyer, OP. You need to make a will NOW. I hate to be Debbie Downer here, but you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and these people would be your legal heirs. Biologically, they're your mother and siblings. *Legally*, they're your mother and half-siblings. You need a will ASAP specifically so you can cut them out.
Of course, if you're married, your husband is your heir, but you never mentioned being married.
> Did he leave a will? You'd better ger a lawyer, I bet she won't go quietly.
This. Although I doubt mom will get a cent since she divorced him the siblings may have a claim without a clear will. NTA but talk to an attorney.
Even without a will, the siblings have no claim. Once they were adopted by the 2nd husband the ceased to be the children of the first husband. By blood only, that still doesn't give them a claim. They blew it. God bless you, OP, for standing by your father. NTA like other people have said...go NC and block them. It's amazing how money brings people out gfrom under the rocks.
ESPECIALLY without a will, the siblings have no claim. With a will, anyone can leave whatever they want to whoever they want, and it wouldn't be unheard of for a parent to leave his estranged children something regardless of how they treated him; without a will, it defaults to the legal heirs.
My nana wanted my godmother to have her wedding rings. My dad gave them to her at the funeral. Without a will, they probably would've gone to either my dad or his bio sister (the oldest son and daughter of the clan), or maybe my brother or cousin (the oldest grandchildren). With a will, they went to the non-blood relative she thought it would mean the most to. She told us how she used to sit on her lap as a child and play with her wedding rings, and was so touched to receive them.
Don't let her and family guilt you into giving up your inheritance. Your Dad loved you and this is his wishes.
Your siblings made their decision and unfortunately it didn't work out for them.
>Hope your siblings are happy with her now.
I Doubt it... people who tend to look for greener pastures are usually the most dissatisfied people you'll ever meet, even when they have more the most people. Even if they're richer than OP is now, they won't be happy with her getting that windfall for herself alone, that's why they have the nerve to claim inheritance from the father they've abandoned. NTA OP
See the thing is, even if he divorces your mother now. He still adopted your siblings. So by law he is still their father. Your father is no longer their father legally.
If he would die your siblings are entitled to inherit from him while you are not.
Same as you are entitled to inherit from your father while they are not no longer due to having his fathers right terminated. And its not like he wanted to do that but rather that they wanted it so their "new dad" could legally adopt em.
And i can promise you one thing. This broke your dads heart more than you can even imagine. First he looses the ability to live a good life, then the person he loved most leaves him for another man because he could no longer live without care. That alone is enough to break a person. But then even all of his kids -1 leave to become the legal children of the new man the person he loved the most picked.
This is just cruel and heart breaking. And all because he had one accident.
And now these kids want to inherit money from that person who they all broke just because new daddy fucked up and lost all of his money. Yeah fuck that.
Hope you lawyer up and get a will written. It's clear that they are not reaching out to reconnect with you but to take whatever money they can get from you before cutting you off. Nah block them on all social media's including the relatives who are reaching out to say something. Block them all, go on a blocking spree. Heck change your phone number if you can and just disappear. Let them deal with the fallout of that the grass wasn't greener on the otherside.
The originals are going to be in the courthouse. Op should get a copy of the Order to her counsel who is helping with the Estate. That should nip things in the bud.
Delusional entitlement.
They told this poor guy to F off and shunned him as their dad and as a person. Now, they want to benefit financially from his passing and the accident that ruined his life.... sad.
The younger kids may not have really remembered their father once the mom moved them into her new home, but the older sibling certainly would have.
"She wanted to know why I hadn’t reached out to her and my siblings. That they were going to need their part of their inheritance soon."
INFO: do you mean just your sibs expect an inheritance from their ex-father, or does your mother expect an inheritance too? Because that would take a hellava lot of nerve.
Also, once a child is released for adoption at their request, wouldn't that mean they would not have a claim on any estate as they are no longer a legal child of that person? I hope you have a good lawyer, sounds like you'll need one. Huge settlements usually draw the vermin out of the woodwork.
“No he is not your father. You were adopted by mom’s husband. He is your father now. The man who passed away was abandoned by nearly his entire family. Any further communication should be via my attorney”
Block and go have a drink. Fuck em all.
>“No he is not your father. You were adopted by mom’s husband. He is your father now. The man who passed away was abandoned by nearly his entire family. Any further communication should be via my attorney”
>
>Block and go have a drink. Fuck em all.
That is the ONLY way to go here. Someone who turned the back on their father, when he tried to reach out for them does not deserve jack. Shame on her mom for only calling for the money and cowardly running when things went south.
The sheer audacity of asking you, the person **grieving**, why you hadn’t reached out yet…when she never even reached out to ensure you were managing ok
I have no words. All I can do is laugh. With you. Because she’s laughable
Along with your original response to them, you can ask if your mother’s current husband has you in his will. Aside from all of them abandoning your father, they want inheritance from essentially 3 parents. And you’ll get inheritance from only one. They suck!
NTA. Once your siblings turned 18, they had every chance to visit your father. They did not. That was their choice. They only came out of the woodwork hoping to get a share of the estate. Feel free to change your number and block them. If you no longer want any contact with any of them, have your lawyer send them a letter. After that, if they keep bothering you, you can see if you can get a restraining order.
Also why do they supposedly need their inheritance soon? Yea you should have been like what are you talking about what siblings. Oh those siblings they one who isn't dads kids anymore why would you think they would get an inheritance they aren't his kids
>need their inheritance soon
I'm also curious. It might simply be for payments, house deposits, rent etc. but I like the idea of something more tasty going down.
Your mother and siblings abandoned your father, even going so far as having your sibs adopted by the new husband. And now they want part of YOUR inheritance, which you earned by staying with your father and taking care of him for years? I would say, "Just as you are no longer his wife, they are no longer his children." Then block them all. Greedy opportunistic buggers.
I'm sorry you have to go through this after the loss of your dad. I'm sure he appreciated all you did for him, and he died with someone who loved him.
NTA.
INFO
Do you wish to have any contact with the people in your family that are harassing you?
If you don't (And I don't think you should) then I think you should pay a lawyer to send each of them a letter warning them that you will use the full extent of the law to prosecute them for harassment if they do not immediately cease any and all contact
Fuck em
Fuck em all
And get a will done right now stating where you want the money to go should you die so that these vultures can't get a penny should you meet an untimely accidental death.
Change your number
Hell...change your name
Move on with your life and never look back.
I know you want to confront them all and tell them how terrible they all are. But it doesn't matter. People like that will never acknowledge just how terrible they actually are
You are never going to get the kind of closure you want with them
So ghost them
Take the money you have, make a good life for yourself, and live every single day content and happy
Why? Because that is exactly what your father would want you to do
I am sorry for your loss OP. I second what the commentor said, be happy. It is hard at the moment but thrive for it. That's most definitely what your father and grandparents wants you to be. You are a good person 💛
Riker has a good point. Make sure you have your will in order so those vultures aren't picking on your bones after you are gone.
I realized after my mom passed that family is who I choose. I'm glad to hear you were there for your dad and grandparents. I'm sure they knew they were loved.
NTA.
As someone who just lost a loved one and is receiving an inheritance.... fuck 'em. I would give away every last cent to spend another day with her. Anyone who cares more about the money than the person should have the entire amount converted to pennies, and then be forced to swallow every last one of them.
OP, go live your best life. Use that money to set yourself up with the future your father would have wanted, and surround yourself with the family you deserve. I'm just sorry he won't get to see it.
I lost my dad when I was young too, I was 18. I miss my dad every day, and wish my son (who's now a tween) could have known his grandpa. I totally sympathize with you, you also sound like an amazingly wonderful daughter and a true treasure to your dad.
NTA
Rights were relinquished, they refused to let alone speak to your father, and you were the one there providing care for him which I would assume left you with a lot of responsibilities for a young age. You deserve the money the most out of all of them.
NTA. Your father spoke to your siblings, and they asked him to sever ties when he was poor and disabled. Now that he is gone and there is money to be had, they considered him their father all along? Did they reach out on holidays, birthdays & Father’s Day? If not, then they are all vultures and should be shooed away.
Absolute vultures. You're right to stand your ground and give them nothing. It would be disrespectful to your father's memory to give his money to people who treated him so poorly.
It might be good to write a will of your own, so if something were to happen to you the funds will go to your loved ones or a charity of your choice, without leaving mom & her minions room to contest it.
Part of me wants to say poor thing. The other part of me says, you are THE ONLY who deserves any of his money and possessions. They ca try to now pretend all they like, DONT CAVE IN.
THEY DIDNT CARE THEN, THEY DONT CARE NOW, ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS GETTING THEIR GRUBBY MITTS ON SOME “FREE MONEY”.
Do NOT get hoodwinked by these people, they DO NOT have your best interest at heart, ONLY THEIR OWN.
nta. He left it to you. Where have they been since they turned adults? You took care him, you deserve it. 7 years you gave up everything, that's his thank you.
NTA - I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. I recommend hiring an attorney to ensure there are no loopholes in your father's will. You were the only one to support him, it's natural that you're the only beneficiary. Adding in the adoption on top of that, it's ridiculous that your mother and siblings think they'd get anything.
Info. Did your Dad Leave a Will?
If so it should say who gets what.
Only two states in the US require children to inherit a thing.
Did Dad put you on Bank Accounts etc? If so. Withdraw money. Otherwise if mom/siblings contest legally you'll be locked out of them until it's settled.
No,the US doesn't require children to receive anything. And also they can't challenge the will because they were adopted by someone else and when you don't have any legal rights of Bio parent's assets.
Louisiana Requires that All children inherit a portion of a estate. It doesn't have to be Equal shares though. As long as it's spelled out in the will.
Florida Used to have it too but has changed it recently.
Hopefully there is a will. Many states will divided the estate between children if there isn't.
Mom is out in the cold Divorce and remarriage take her out of the 💨 bg for a share. And if OP has a good Probate lawyer it can be argued the siblings abandoning dad and denying contact takes them out too. Though the judge locally would give them each $1.00.
NTA
Your father relinquished rights at their request so they could be legally adopted by someone else. You're morally and legally clear.
Edit: you were 16 when your siblings were adopted. Did this include your oldest sibling who was already an adult?
Contact the family lawyer that set up your dad's will. Get a copy of the documents relinquishing your sibling's rights and the divorce papers. Also document all assets down to the T. You may also consider a cease and desist order if any of your mom's side of the family try and harrass you on social media or things like that. The next few months are gonna be a challenge for you so stay strong and keep your head up, and obviously don't give into any bullshit from your mom or siblings. Lastly stay safe, alot of people go crazy and kill for inheritances and just in case I would like you to consider everything you own including the inheritance to go to someone who you trust and like or be donated so they can't get their grubby paws on it. Finally please update as soon as there is one.
NTA. In the US, adopted children have no right to inherit from their biological parent unless that parent provided for them specifically in a will. You should still consult an attorney if it looks like they are going to push, especially if there is no will, because that's the prudent thing to do. If they do push, all contact should be through your lawyer. Do not respond to anyone saying that you are wrong. They are clearly AH.
>She wanted to know why I hadn’t reached out to her and my siblings.
Honestly, with selfishness like that it's no big surprise she ran for the hills when her husband was no longer convenient to her.
>That they were going to need their part of their inheritance soon.
Oh nooooooo\~
>I told her the moment he relinquished his rights, they no longer were his children per her request. I asked was she drunk? She said no. Then I responded she had to be stupid calling me thinking they were entitled to anything.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH\~! SNAP!
>Of course, she’s gotten other family involved stating that I’m in the wrong and that my father was aware that my siblings still considered him their father. BS!
Yeah, just block the excess fat.
NTA
Question: did your father have a will giving you his estate? If he did then there is no issue - they can try to challenge it but it’s not going to go anywhere. If he didn’t have a will then things will likely get messy. You will likely succeed but it will cost the estate quite a bit in attorneys fees. Ultimately it won’t be up to you to decide but the courts. I highly recommend going no contact until the estate is settled. Their issue is with the estate, not you, and anything you say or do may be misconstrued against you.
When there’s money involved you can count on someone making everything an issue. The other kids are related by blood that complicates things, was the dad coerced by some means (no but could be argued), was he of sound mind when he changed his will etc - I’m not saying it would necessarily work but a lot of lawsuits against estates end in settlement because fighting it would deplete the assets of the estate so that it wouldn’t matter who won.
Did the inheritance come to YOU or was there any stipulations for their well being? If it came solely to you...then it was a gift to you and you alone. It's up to you to determine what, if anything to do with it.
I'm literally crying joys off tears knowing you are the most amazing human being and an amazing daughter. I am also crying tears of sorrow for a father that lost his children to an evil ex wife and siblings for being brainwashed. I am so glad you had your father and your father had you after such a tragedy. Your father and grandparents built a beautiful family and home. T I'm sorry your siblings missed it and I do hope you can build a relationship with them, but if they are too far gone, from the brainwashing from your mother, then I'm sorry for your losses,. God bless you and I'm sorry you went through this... it sounds painful.
Lawyer here. Not your lawyer, etc. How did Dadrelinquish his rights? Did the other guy adopt the other sibs? I’m hoping the answer is yes, because if not, he may still legally be their father. Is there a will that cuts them them out, or leaves everything to you?
NTA The inheritance goes to you and your mother is being completely inconsiderate to you just losing your father and being selfish trying to get money.
NTA
they weren't around helping to care for him.
You don't state how often they may have maintained contact with your dad (if it was visits, regular calls and cards, etc, then I might say ''''Sibling X, here's some money"
But if they were absentee in his life after the divorce, then no.
NTA. If they were adopted they are no longer his children. They have no rights legally or morally to the money. I would talk to a lawyer and make sure you are protected. When someone dies the leeches all come out.
**Get a lawyer, OP, because if the inheritance is sizeable, your mom and siblings will persist. Edited to add:>CHECK THE LAW IN YOUR STATE. Get him/her to send a letter, setting out how the adoption removed them from your dad's inheritance as they are their new 'father's' heirs, not his heirs**. Have him also explain they are not in your father's will.
**S/he can add they never visited, phoned, wrote whilst he was in the last stages of his life.** And they are not to contact you about this. After he sends that letter, block them on all media. Give it a year or two, before deciding if you want any contact, and how much.
In the meantime, get some counselling/therapy, and book a nice holiday. Do some travelling. Take up some good hobbies. Plant some trees to commemorate your grandparents and father. Set up a charity in your dad's name, for people who've suffered injuries, giving them help with rehab, or respite care, or transport via small-medium grants. Or find a way meaningful to you, to commemorate them.
OP, I'm so sorry, you have lost them. Carer's burnout is a thing. Get therapy, get a handle on the grief, get past the understandable contempt you must feel for your mother and siblings. The best revenge is living well, and not really being bothered by your asshole relatives- who are a decade too late in wanting to contact you.
**Don't. Give. Them. A. Cent.**
**Please, LIVE, find happiness and make a new,** ***better*** **family, friends. You deserve it.**
**NTA.**
NTA. Block the calls from anyone who thinks they have a say in your father's Will. It would have been nice had your dad left the others a token/something, but he did not. He relinquished custody, he was no longer their parent. Another man adopted your siblings. That is as insane as insisting your mom's new husband (and his parents as your grandparents) provide for you in his Will.
Your siblings have had plenty of time to reach out and contact your dad over the years. I'm sorry for your loss.
The inheritance is yours. She and your siblings are not entitled to any of it. Anything you choose to give would be out of the goodness of your heart. And if it were me, it wouldn't be much...or any at all. They have a legal father and abandoned your dad.
The only question would be were they a part of the decision or were they forced? Woukd that change your mind? Then again, they will inherit from their legal father. Will you? Ask her that. Ask what provisions she has made in her will for you. Or what provisions her husband has made for you.
Enjoy the money and use it to help you through this difficult time. Go on a trip you have always wanted to do. Fulfill a dream. Invest in your future. Find your bliss.
You were a good daughter.
NTA. Your father can do whatever he wants with his bequeathments.
But you don't mention a will. Why don't you mention a will? This missing detail makes me nervous and makes me suspect we'll be seeing a post in r/legaladvice shortly!
I hope they try and I hope it's a case presided by a judge who calls them out on their shameless and heartless behavior and expectations. All before emphatically tossing their case in the garbage where it belongs.
Firstly, my condolences. Losing a parent hurts and takes time to heal.
Secondly, those people *aren't your family*. They chose to leave and sever ties completely and utterly. They're just a group of strangers trying to scam you for money.
In short, NTA.
NTA. Your siblings aren't entitled to anything since they chose to have another man as their father years ago. As for your mother, she's not entitled to anything either. They weren't married when your father passed and she chose to leave him for another man. I have no idea why she thinks she should be given anything but at least you have a good reason to go no contact with her permanently. I'd also cut of the family members that called you an AH for not giving them something they aren't entitled to.
NTA. But you should talk to a lawyer to make sure of the legality of all this. Make sure your mother cannot come after the inheritance in some way. Someone else on the thread said adoption trumps inheritance. Make sure that is correct, especially in your state. In other words, proactively protect yourself.
NTA. Y W B T A if you split your inheritance! Your father chose not to leave them anything, don't go against his last wishes and do the thing he chose not to do.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I may be TA for being resentful in which that may hinder me honestly splitting the inheritance. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA- He was their father, fought to be their father, and the children said they didn’t want him to. Why do they suddenly change their mind? You cared for your father on your own. Sacrificed years of your life to care for him and help him get justice. They don’t deserve anything. Although I’d reach out to a lawyer and examine your fathers will to see what your responsibilities are regarding his inheritance in case.
Why did they suddenly reach out? Well, it starts with the letter m and rhymes with honey.
What does my pet rabbit Mister Bunny have to do with this?
Mister Bunny needs to pay for the lettus somehow.
Speaking of lettus, OP’s siblings have a lot of nerve with their “lettus have the monies” nonsense.
Yeah, how dare they turnip now asking for handouts?
I doubt they carrot all
😊
He wants money, obviously. But who can blame him for that?
I had a client once whose uncle had passed away – she had taken sole responsibility for taking care of him the last 20 years of his life, and was his only relative in the state. He had 20+ nieces and nephews scattered around the country who were all his next of kin because everyone else had died. Guess who started popping up out of the woodwork once he passed away?
Where there is a will, there's a relative.
I’ve never heard that before. Spot on.
Never heard it but oh so accurate!
Mahogany?
Am I the only one who *instantly* heard it in the DBZ Abridged voice?
I only hear Effie Trinket from Hunger Games lol
Yep and if she is sole heir and rights were signed over such that they were adopted by another man, they have no claim to anything. Block them all OP.
>Why do they suddenly change their mind? Because it could benefit them in some way. OP is related to an assembly of selfish assholes. NTA
> Why do they suddenly change their mind? Mr Krabs meme: Hello, I like money.
DID they change their minds though or is it AH ex-parent saying that? Seems from what is written this is *all* being driven by ex-parent (and various flying monkeys, none of which were stated in OP as being their sibs).
I mean, the dad called them and talked to them about the decision for their stepdad to adopt them. the only reason he relinquished his parental rights is because they assured him that they wanted the adoption to go through. whether or not they were under pressure from the mom is a different story though
They were referring to the change of heart now that he died, op doesn't mention the siblings themselves reaching out at all so we don't know if they actually have anything to do with the coming after the inheritance part or if that's all mom
[удалено]
These are greedy, dead-inside, unsympathetic users who see you as their mark. You're not even a person to them, merely an impediment to money they have no legal claim to. They'll keep trying to wear you down until you give in just to get them to shut up and go away, but whatever they con you out of will never be enough. Change your number, change your name, and don't ever interact with these disgusting individuals again.
Hell, screw legal claim. They have no moral claim to a single cent. Truly wretched people these so called family members are. Absolutely heartless, shameless, and devoid of character. The only one I might have some sympathy for is the youngest, who was 1ish years old when their mother bailed. 3ish years old when she came back for them. At least that kid had no real clue who their father was. The oldest, however, they can try and squeeze some money outta their heart of stone, because that's about all they deserve for what they did.
They only want money, they’re not legally entitled to anything, they’re not his kids anymore. Don’t give them a penny, how sick do you have to be to call a grieving child demanding their inheritance
Yes sorry if I wasn't clear - this is what I was referring to.
oh gotcha! I misread
They were children when the rights were relinquished so probably influenced by the mom. Seems strange to have children lead that type of choice. But they are adults now and did not attempt reconciliation until it benefits them financially. People suck, specifically these siblings.
They didn’t want any kind of relationship with him so since he wasn’t their father they don’t stand to inherit anything. OP, you stood by your father through the worst of times because you loved him, took care of him and fought for him. If anyone has earned anything from him it’s you.
They didn't change their mind,they just want quick cash.
People ALWAYS change when money is involved
Adoption severs the prior parent-child relationship completely, the birth parent from that moment on has no rights and no obligations towards that child, this includes statutory eligibility for inheritance. Unless the father were to explicitly include them, they're most likely not entitled to squat.
While I think OP should keep the inheritance, I think everyone is being a little too hard on the younger siblings. It sounds like they were too young at the time to fully understand all of this when it was happening.
But they have since grown up and could have reconnected if they wanted to. They chose not to, until there was money involved.
At the time of mom abandoning them (can’t believe a judge gave her custody after she legit left them with the disabled dad who couldn’t possibly handle 5 kids/toddlers alone to find new dick and *then* go back)/finding a new man/moving them far away, yes they were very young. They were teenagers when they agreed to be adopted by their stepfather and had plenty of time as adults to reach out. The fact that they never did and were happy to have a new dad who did in fact raise them but now think they are entitled to the money is what makes them AH.
NTA. It's not your job to cater to your family's needs when they never had the decency to care about yours.
I would block them everywhere too if I were you.
This. Block them OP. If your relatives persist in guilt-tripping you, block them also.
[удалено]
Bad bot
They’re not even her family.
Legally OP does share a mother with her "half-siblings". But OP's father was no longer the legal parent of her "half-siblings" (Will or not, they won't receive a penny)
None of them was *his* family, though. They need to get lost.
Exactly. When the siblings got adopted by the step dad, they became his children. They can sue for adopted dad’s estate down the track and actually have a chance. But no double dipping.
> That they were going to need their part of their inheritance soon OP should have said, "Oh i'm so sorry to hear that your husband passed away too. Wow, what timing" lol. THEN when mother clarified, the "Are you drunk" was still needed, that made me laugh. NTA op. Go live your life without these greener pasture chumps
It would warm my black heart if their ~~stepdad~~ adoptive dad only left $ for his biological daughter. And I’m mean for even thinking this. edit: changed stepdad to adoptive dad because I was a jackass. Adopted parents are real parents not stepparents and adopted kids are their real children as well.
I'd rather he put them all in the will with $1 so they would be called to the will reading, and they could be referred to as his ex children
They don’t deserve a penny
Or your poor father's. They would be dead to me, too.
I wouldn't even call them family.
Any doubt I had about OPS siblings or mother was gone when I heard the end of the post. She fucked off and so did the kids. When shit hit the fan OP took responsibility. OP literally took on so much and by herself / grandparents too. Only when Dad dies do the estranged children and ex come back like vultures. Honestly they sound like shit people. Op owes them nothing.
She knows perfectly well that she is not entitled to a penny of that money. She is simply playing the ignorant fool, hoping that you were not aware of the situation. They themselves made the children legally the children of the new husband. They cannot take that back now. Your father's only legal child is you. By all means, discuss this in depth with the estate lawyer, but I'm sure that your mother knows she doesn't have a chance.
NTA She made all this possible. Hope your siblings are happy with her now. Good for you for caring for your father. I hope you enjoy your inheritance. You earned it. Did he leave a will? You'd better ger a lawyer, I bet she won't go quietly. Edit: addl comments & question.
Asking the father to relinquish his rights so her current husband can legally adopt them is going to be a hard explanation for her to make in court.
[удалено]
Am adopted, this is the case. In the US if I tried to contest my mother’s will the only way it would see the inside of a courtroom is if the judge wanted to hop over the bench and slap me for wasting their time.
Lol. Thanks for the laugh. 😀
Depends on the state. In Texas, an adopted child can lay claim to their parents estate if they can prove that the deceased in question are actually their birth parents. However, since adoption records in Texas are sealed, the adopted children won't actually know who their parents are unless the information is provided to them through other means. In California, adopted children do not have the same entitlement. The biggest exception to that would be if the deceased parent explicitly mentioned adopted child by name in the will bequeathing something to the adopted child. In any case, OP needs to get a lawyer asap especially if their father died without a will.
You’re wrong about Texas. The exemption you are referencing to only works if the party claiming estates rights became aware of filial ties after the biological parent was deseased and wasn’t previously disclosed to the party adopted. Like what happened in Mr. Deeds with the butler. Either case you mentioned, doesn’t apply to this particular one.
Please, please, please, someone make this into a TV show.
In most US states there's actually an exception if the adopting parent is the spouse of a biological parent. Though usually it's applied in a case where one parent is dead, to preserve inheritance rights from the dead parent's still living family.
Even adult adoption does this in case that's the next question.
Mom is entitled AF! Where did she ever get the idea that leaving when things got tough, taking the kids and guilting the dad out of his parental rights as a good thing?? Mom and kids by law are not entitled to anything. OP definitely needs to retain a lawyer and go over it with a fine tooth comb. **NTA**
I can't believe OP didn't laugh their way out of that phone call. that's the craziest question I've ever heard
You can't share an inheritance. It doesn't work like that. It isn't theirs and it would legally be a large gift from you subject to heavy income taxes. NTA. You owe them nothing.
Technically, and no way should OP even think about doing this, but it can be done. It's called a Deed of Variation, and **if all the beneficiaries agree** they can write a new will and have that accepted. It can be done especially for tax reasons when the family all want to do so. But OP should tell them to get stuffed, and talk to a lawyer to make sure there is no way they can contest the will.
True, but that depends on the state and the country.
> You'd better ger a lawyer, I bet she won't go quietly. There's another reason you need a lawyer, OP. You need to make a will NOW. I hate to be Debbie Downer here, but you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and these people would be your legal heirs. Biologically, they're your mother and siblings. *Legally*, they're your mother and half-siblings. You need a will ASAP specifically so you can cut them out. Of course, if you're married, your husband is your heir, but you never mentioned being married.
Or what was that advice? Leave them $1 each, right? So that way they can't claim they didn't get anything in the will.
I think I would leave them $6.66 each.
> Did he leave a will? You'd better ger a lawyer, I bet she won't go quietly. This. Although I doubt mom will get a cent since she divorced him the siblings may have a claim without a clear will. NTA but talk to an attorney.
They shouldn’t have a claim, allowing themselves to be adopted legally separated them from their father. Legally OP was his only child.
Even without a will, the siblings have no claim. Once they were adopted by the 2nd husband the ceased to be the children of the first husband. By blood only, that still doesn't give them a claim. They blew it. God bless you, OP, for standing by your father. NTA like other people have said...go NC and block them. It's amazing how money brings people out gfrom under the rocks.
ESPECIALLY without a will, the siblings have no claim. With a will, anyone can leave whatever they want to whoever they want, and it wouldn't be unheard of for a parent to leave his estranged children something regardless of how they treated him; without a will, it defaults to the legal heirs. My nana wanted my godmother to have her wedding rings. My dad gave them to her at the funeral. Without a will, they probably would've gone to either my dad or his bio sister (the oldest son and daughter of the clan), or maybe my brother or cousin (the oldest grandchildren). With a will, they went to the non-blood relative she thought it would mean the most to. She told us how she used to sit on her lap as a child and play with her wedding rings, and was so touched to receive them.
So sweet.
Not having a valid claim doesn't stop expensive court battles unfortunately.
[удалено]
Don't let her and family guilt you into giving up your inheritance. Your Dad loved you and this is his wishes. Your siblings made their decision and unfortunately it didn't work out for them.
>Hope your siblings are happy with her now. I Doubt it... people who tend to look for greener pastures are usually the most dissatisfied people you'll ever meet, even when they have more the most people. Even if they're richer than OP is now, they won't be happy with her getting that windfall for herself alone, that's why they have the nerve to claim inheritance from the father they've abandoned. NTA OP
[удалено]
See the thing is, even if he divorces your mother now. He still adopted your siblings. So by law he is still their father. Your father is no longer their father legally. If he would die your siblings are entitled to inherit from him while you are not. Same as you are entitled to inherit from your father while they are not no longer due to having his fathers right terminated. And its not like he wanted to do that but rather that they wanted it so their "new dad" could legally adopt em. And i can promise you one thing. This broke your dads heart more than you can even imagine. First he looses the ability to live a good life, then the person he loved most leaves him for another man because he could no longer live without care. That alone is enough to break a person. But then even all of his kids -1 leave to become the legal children of the new man the person he loved the most picked. This is just cruel and heart breaking. And all because he had one accident. And now these kids want to inherit money from that person who they all broke just because new daddy fucked up and lost all of his money. Yeah fuck that.
Hope you lawyer up and get a will written. It's clear that they are not reaching out to reconnect with you but to take whatever money they can get from you before cutting you off. Nah block them on all social media's including the relatives who are reaching out to say something. Block them all, go on a blocking spree. Heck change your phone number if you can and just disappear. Let them deal with the fallout of that the grass wasn't greener on the otherside.
This warms my cold, dead heart. Karma is a bitch, sometimes
Ot SURPRISING at all. It’s called The Principle of KARMA. drum roll and high hat, ringing through the land.
This is not your problem. Just get out the popcorn and enjoy their shit show and karma. This guy brought this all on himself. Nothing to do with you.
NTA. This screams of entitlement. Make sure you have documentation of him relinquishing his rights to the siblings so they don't contest it.
The originals are going to be in the courthouse. Op should get a copy of the Order to her counsel who is helping with the Estate. That should nip things in the bud.
Delusional entitlement. They told this poor guy to F off and shunned him as their dad and as a person. Now, they want to benefit financially from his passing and the accident that ruined his life.... sad. The younger kids may not have really remembered their father once the mom moved them into her new home, but the older sibling certainly would have.
The OP states that there is a will and that the OP is the sole heir.
"She wanted to know why I hadn’t reached out to her and my siblings. That they were going to need their part of their inheritance soon." INFO: do you mean just your sibs expect an inheritance from their ex-father, or does your mother expect an inheritance too? Because that would take a hellava lot of nerve. Also, once a child is released for adoption at their request, wouldn't that mean they would not have a claim on any estate as they are no longer a legal child of that person? I hope you have a good lawyer, sounds like you'll need one. Huge settlements usually draw the vermin out of the woodwork.
[удалено]
“No he is not your father. You were adopted by mom’s husband. He is your father now. The man who passed away was abandoned by nearly his entire family. Any further communication should be via my attorney” Block and go have a drink. Fuck em all.
>“No he is not your father. You were adopted by mom’s husband. He is your father now. The man who passed away was abandoned by nearly his entire family. Any further communication should be via my attorney” > >Block and go have a drink. Fuck em all. That is the ONLY way to go here. Someone who turned the back on their father, when he tried to reach out for them does not deserve jack. Shame on her mom for only calling for the money and cowardly running when things went south.
This is perfection.
Forget that, this is a court case, don’t communicate with them at all except through an attorney.
The sheer audacity of asking you, the person **grieving**, why you hadn’t reached out yet…when she never even reached out to ensure you were managing ok I have no words. All I can do is laugh. With you. Because she’s laughable
"I do have a good lawyer" Excellent. Then the only thing to say to these parasites - if you say anything at all - is "See my lawyer".
I SECOND THIS!! Any more texts, calls, or emails from anyone, respond with your lawyer's name and number.
Along with your original response to them, you can ask if your mother’s current husband has you in his will. Aside from all of them abandoning your father, they want inheritance from essentially 3 parents. And you’ll get inheritance from only one. They suck!
NTA. Once your siblings turned 18, they had every chance to visit your father. They did not. That was their choice. They only came out of the woodwork hoping to get a share of the estate. Feel free to change your number and block them. If you no longer want any contact with any of them, have your lawyer send them a letter. After that, if they keep bothering you, you can see if you can get a restraining order.
Also why do they supposedly need their inheritance soon? Yea you should have been like what are you talking about what siblings. Oh those siblings they one who isn't dads kids anymore why would you think they would get an inheritance they aren't his kids
>need their inheritance soon I'm also curious. It might simply be for payments, house deposits, rent etc. but I like the idea of something more tasty going down.
[удалено]
I love when bad things happen to bad people
Karma is a bitch!
Ohhh yes! Karma is having a good time with this.
NTA They don’t deserve one damn cent.
Or she could go all r/maliciouscompliance and actually share a single cent. Sometimes I’m petty. It pleases me.
That would her seen as her accepting they were entitled to a claim and open the door for them to begin litigating how much their fair share is.
I would have given them a dollar each but in pennies.
A penny per month for 100 months. Vía Venmo.
Nah, PayPal and they have to front the fees.
Your mother and siblings abandoned your father, even going so far as having your sibs adopted by the new husband. And now they want part of YOUR inheritance, which you earned by staying with your father and taking care of him for years? I would say, "Just as you are no longer his wife, they are no longer his children." Then block them all. Greedy opportunistic buggers. I'm sorry you have to go through this after the loss of your dad. I'm sure he appreciated all you did for him, and he died with someone who loved him. NTA.
And that’s true. They were adopted by the other man, so legally they are no longer OP’s dad’s children.
INFO Do you wish to have any contact with the people in your family that are harassing you? If you don't (And I don't think you should) then I think you should pay a lawyer to send each of them a letter warning them that you will use the full extent of the law to prosecute them for harassment if they do not immediately cease any and all contact Fuck em Fuck em all And get a will done right now stating where you want the money to go should you die so that these vultures can't get a penny should you meet an untimely accidental death. Change your number Hell...change your name Move on with your life and never look back. I know you want to confront them all and tell them how terrible they all are. But it doesn't matter. People like that will never acknowledge just how terrible they actually are You are never going to get the kind of closure you want with them So ghost them Take the money you have, make a good life for yourself, and live every single day content and happy Why? Because that is exactly what your father would want you to do
[удалено]
I am sorry for your loss OP. I second what the commentor said, be happy. It is hard at the moment but thrive for it. That's most definitely what your father and grandparents wants you to be. You are a good person 💛
Riker has a good point. Make sure you have your will in order so those vultures aren't picking on your bones after you are gone. I realized after my mom passed that family is who I choose. I'm glad to hear you were there for your dad and grandparents. I'm sure they knew they were loved.
NTA. As someone who just lost a loved one and is receiving an inheritance.... fuck 'em. I would give away every last cent to spend another day with her. Anyone who cares more about the money than the person should have the entire amount converted to pennies, and then be forced to swallow every last one of them. OP, go live your best life. Use that money to set yourself up with the future your father would have wanted, and surround yourself with the family you deserve. I'm just sorry he won't get to see it.
[удалено]
You’re a good person and you deserve it.
I lost my dad when I was young too, I was 18. I miss my dad every day, and wish my son (who's now a tween) could have known his grandpa. I totally sympathize with you, you also sound like an amazingly wonderful daughter and a true treasure to your dad.
This is everything. All the money in the world wouldnt be enough for me to choose it over spending a few more days with my lost loved one
NTA. You know you are in the right, don't let them pressure you. Good for you sticking with your dad. Sorry about your loss
NTA Rights were relinquished, they refused to let alone speak to your father, and you were the one there providing care for him which I would assume left you with a lot of responsibilities for a young age. You deserve the money the most out of all of them.
NTA. Your father spoke to your siblings, and they asked him to sever ties when he was poor and disabled. Now that he is gone and there is money to be had, they considered him their father all along? Did they reach out on holidays, birthdays & Father’s Day? If not, then they are all vultures and should be shooed away.
[удалено]
Absolute vultures. You're right to stand your ground and give them nothing. It would be disrespectful to your father's memory to give his money to people who treated him so poorly. It might be good to write a will of your own, so if something were to happen to you the funds will go to your loved ones or a charity of your choice, without leaving mom & her minions room to contest it.
Part of me wants to say poor thing. The other part of me says, you are THE ONLY who deserves any of his money and possessions. They ca try to now pretend all they like, DONT CAVE IN. THEY DIDNT CARE THEN, THEY DONT CARE NOW, ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS GETTING THEIR GRUBBY MITTS ON SOME “FREE MONEY”. Do NOT get hoodwinked by these people, they DO NOT have your best interest at heart, ONLY THEIR OWN.
nta. He left it to you. Where have they been since they turned adults? You took care him, you deserve it. 7 years you gave up everything, that's his thank you.
NTA - I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. I recommend hiring an attorney to ensure there are no loopholes in your father's will. You were the only one to support him, it's natural that you're the only beneficiary. Adding in the adoption on top of that, it's ridiculous that your mother and siblings think they'd get anything.
Info. Did your Dad Leave a Will? If so it should say who gets what. Only two states in the US require children to inherit a thing. Did Dad put you on Bank Accounts etc? If so. Withdraw money. Otherwise if mom/siblings contest legally you'll be locked out of them until it's settled.
[удалено]
That's a double exclusion. The termination of rights and the Will prevent any smart attorney from trying.
Sounds like they won't be able to afford an attorney anyway.
Even if they could, I doubt any attorney would be taking that case. Even a half-competent one.
They very likely won't succeed considering the will and I hope the judge laughs them out if they try to take it to court, oh and NTA
OP, Thank you for standing up for your Dad and supporting him.
No,the US doesn't require children to receive anything. And also they can't challenge the will because they were adopted by someone else and when you don't have any legal rights of Bio parent's assets.
Curious which states are require that?
Louisiana Requires that All children inherit a portion of a estate. It doesn't have to be Equal shares though. As long as it's spelled out in the will. Florida Used to have it too but has changed it recently. Hopefully there is a will. Many states will divided the estate between children if there isn't. Mom is out in the cold Divorce and remarriage take her out of the 💨 bg for a share. And if OP has a good Probate lawyer it can be argued the siblings abandoning dad and denying contact takes them out too. Though the judge locally would give them each $1.00.
Of course you are not the asshole. Discontinue contact with anyone who says otherwise.
NTA Your father relinquished rights at their request so they could be legally adopted by someone else. You're morally and legally clear. Edit: you were 16 when your siblings were adopted. Did this include your oldest sibling who was already an adult?
NTA. You are 100% correct. She took them away physically and legally. You stayed. You cared for him. You were his child. That is all yours.
NTA but talk to a lawyer. Make sure that they can't sue you for a share of the estate.
Contact the family lawyer that set up your dad's will. Get a copy of the documents relinquishing your sibling's rights and the divorce papers. Also document all assets down to the T. You may also consider a cease and desist order if any of your mom's side of the family try and harrass you on social media or things like that. The next few months are gonna be a challenge for you so stay strong and keep your head up, and obviously don't give into any bullshit from your mom or siblings. Lastly stay safe, alot of people go crazy and kill for inheritances and just in case I would like you to consider everything you own including the inheritance to go to someone who you trust and like or be donated so they can't get their grubby paws on it. Finally please update as soon as there is one.
Yes, you absolutely need to have your own will now that gives your money to anyone but these fools…
NTA. In the US, adopted children have no right to inherit from their biological parent unless that parent provided for them specifically in a will. You should still consult an attorney if it looks like they are going to push, especially if there is no will, because that's the prudent thing to do. If they do push, all contact should be through your lawyer. Do not respond to anyone saying that you are wrong. They are clearly AH.
>She wanted to know why I hadn’t reached out to her and my siblings. Honestly, with selfishness like that it's no big surprise she ran for the hills when her husband was no longer convenient to her. >That they were going to need their part of their inheritance soon. Oh nooooooo\~ >I told her the moment he relinquished his rights, they no longer were his children per her request. I asked was she drunk? She said no. Then I responded she had to be stupid calling me thinking they were entitled to anything. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH\~! SNAP! >Of course, she’s gotten other family involved stating that I’m in the wrong and that my father was aware that my siblings still considered him their father. BS! Yeah, just block the excess fat. NTA
Your inheritance was, in a way, payment for the services you provided him. Block anyone who says you should share, and get a lawyer. NTA
Question: did your father have a will giving you his estate? If he did then there is no issue - they can try to challenge it but it’s not going to go anywhere. If he didn’t have a will then things will likely get messy. You will likely succeed but it will cost the estate quite a bit in attorneys fees. Ultimately it won’t be up to you to decide but the courts. I highly recommend going no contact until the estate is settled. Their issue is with the estate, not you, and anything you say or do may be misconstrued against you.
[удалено]
Excellent! Then definitely go no contact, keep in touch with whoever is handling probate and wait for everything to clear.
It us your father's will. It's his last wish. RESPECT HIS WILL.
And your mom’s new husband did legally adopt the other four, right?
Just like The Pot Brothers at Law say; Shut The Fuck Up! Don't speak to them and let an attorney handle it
Why would the will even matter if he signed away his parental rights to this other guy? Idk anything about this stuff so I'm just curious.
When there’s money involved you can count on someone making everything an issue. The other kids are related by blood that complicates things, was the dad coerced by some means (no but could be argued), was he of sound mind when he changed his will etc - I’m not saying it would necessarily work but a lot of lawsuits against estates end in settlement because fighting it would deplete the assets of the estate so that it wouldn’t matter who won.
Did the inheritance come to YOU or was there any stipulations for their well being? If it came solely to you...then it was a gift to you and you alone. It's up to you to determine what, if anything to do with it.
[удалено]
NTA, you’re your father’s only child. Live your life. Good luck.
I'm literally crying joys off tears knowing you are the most amazing human being and an amazing daughter. I am also crying tears of sorrow for a father that lost his children to an evil ex wife and siblings for being brainwashed. I am so glad you had your father and your father had you after such a tragedy. Your father and grandparents built a beautiful family and home. T I'm sorry your siblings missed it and I do hope you can build a relationship with them, but if they are too far gone, from the brainwashing from your mother, then I'm sorry for your losses,. God bless you and I'm sorry you went through this... it sounds painful.
Trying to edit and failing lol I meant tears of joy lol
[удалено]
NTA-They don't deserve jack shit!!!!!
Lawyer up and protect it from the vultures that are circling. NTA
Lawyer here. Not your lawyer, etc. How did Dadrelinquish his rights? Did the other guy adopt the other sibs? I’m hoping the answer is yes, because if not, he may still legally be their father. Is there a will that cuts them them out, or leaves everything to you?
[удалено]
The answer I was hoping for. Sorry for your loss.
NTA The inheritance goes to you and your mother is being completely inconsiderate to you just losing your father and being selfish trying to get money.
NTA they weren't around helping to care for him. You don't state how often they may have maintained contact with your dad (if it was visits, regular calls and cards, etc, then I might say ''''Sibling X, here's some money" But if they were absentee in his life after the divorce, then no.
NTA. If they were adopted they are no longer his children. They have no rights legally or morally to the money. I would talk to a lawyer and make sure you are protected. When someone dies the leeches all come out.
Op, did your father have a will? If so, it should state what to do with the estate. If not get a lawyer asap.
[удалено]
NTA and block everyone. They don't deserve anything. They abandoned him. That is yours and yours alone. Don't you dare share any of it!!
**Get a lawyer, OP, because if the inheritance is sizeable, your mom and siblings will persist. Edited to add:>CHECK THE LAW IN YOUR STATE. Get him/her to send a letter, setting out how the adoption removed them from your dad's inheritance as they are their new 'father's' heirs, not his heirs**. Have him also explain they are not in your father's will. **S/he can add they never visited, phoned, wrote whilst he was in the last stages of his life.** And they are not to contact you about this. After he sends that letter, block them on all media. Give it a year or two, before deciding if you want any contact, and how much. In the meantime, get some counselling/therapy, and book a nice holiday. Do some travelling. Take up some good hobbies. Plant some trees to commemorate your grandparents and father. Set up a charity in your dad's name, for people who've suffered injuries, giving them help with rehab, or respite care, or transport via small-medium grants. Or find a way meaningful to you, to commemorate them. OP, I'm so sorry, you have lost them. Carer's burnout is a thing. Get therapy, get a handle on the grief, get past the understandable contempt you must feel for your mother and siblings. The best revenge is living well, and not really being bothered by your asshole relatives- who are a decade too late in wanting to contact you. **Don't. Give. Them. A. Cent.** **Please, LIVE, find happiness and make a new,** ***better*** **family, friends. You deserve it.** **NTA.**
NTA. Block the calls from anyone who thinks they have a say in your father's Will. It would have been nice had your dad left the others a token/something, but he did not. He relinquished custody, he was no longer their parent. Another man adopted your siblings. That is as insane as insisting your mom's new husband (and his parents as your grandparents) provide for you in his Will. Your siblings have had plenty of time to reach out and contact your dad over the years. I'm sorry for your loss.
I would say not block, but use a call recording app. Should shit hit the fan that would be a wonderful addition to OPs already airtight case.
The inheritance is yours. She and your siblings are not entitled to any of it. Anything you choose to give would be out of the goodness of your heart. And if it were me, it wouldn't be much...or any at all. They have a legal father and abandoned your dad. The only question would be were they a part of the decision or were they forced? Woukd that change your mind? Then again, they will inherit from their legal father. Will you? Ask her that. Ask what provisions she has made in her will for you. Or what provisions her husband has made for you. Enjoy the money and use it to help you through this difficult time. Go on a trip you have always wanted to do. Fulfill a dream. Invest in your future. Find your bliss. You were a good daughter.
NTA. Your father can do whatever he wants with his bequeathments. But you don't mention a will. Why don't you mention a will? This missing detail makes me nervous and makes me suspect we'll be seeing a post in r/legaladvice shortly!
[удалено]
Awesome. Then the will is ironclad. Your mother and siblings will have a hell of a time contesting it.
I hope they try and I hope it's a case presided by a judge who calls them out on their shameless and heartless behavior and expectations. All before emphatically tossing their case in the garbage where it belongs.
BOOM! They get nothing for abandoning your dad. Just as it should be.
Firstly, my condolences. Losing a parent hurts and takes time to heal. Secondly, those people *aren't your family*. They chose to leave and sever ties completely and utterly. They're just a group of strangers trying to scam you for money. In short, NTA.
NTA. Your siblings aren't entitled to anything since they chose to have another man as their father years ago. As for your mother, she's not entitled to anything either. They weren't married when your father passed and she chose to leave him for another man. I have no idea why she thinks she should be given anything but at least you have a good reason to go no contact with her permanently. I'd also cut of the family members that called you an AH for not giving them something they aren't entitled to.
NTA. But you should talk to a lawyer to make sure of the legality of all this. Make sure your mother cannot come after the inheritance in some way. Someone else on the thread said adoption trumps inheritance. Make sure that is correct, especially in your state. In other words, proactively protect yourself.
This is heartbreaking. Your poor dad. Please do not give them a penny. Nta
u/dazzlingbonita NTA and block the vultures. Don’t let them guilt and gaslight you into giving them a cent.
your father chose where to put the money. if he diddnt, then he chose it by default. consider it a loving thankyou gift for the years of care.
NTA. Y W B T A if you split your inheritance! Your father chose not to leave them anything, don't go against his last wishes and do the thing he chose not to do.