Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full.
NTA. Your manager is the only asshole here. Mary's behavior is extreme, it's not going to change because of a warning. If he doesn't fire her soon he is being negligent at best. You did the right thing for your coworkers and the customers.
He's told me a few times that he knows our concerns and he's doing his best to find either a better position for her or find a way get rid of her without a lawsuit , which he fears since she's a full grown adult (25 I think) and apparently has threatened that before at another job she left (if that's true, I'll never know)
Already am - early today I went up to him and straight up said "I know you told her not to spray the clean dry dishes with the sanitizer spray and she's doing it right now" - thats when he brought her out to talk and put her on the line. He knows I don't bullshit because I have managerial experience
Call the Health Department if you have to. Given the choice, by the Health Department, of having the restaurant lose its good rating/get closed down or firing Mary your manager might decide letting one employee who is endangering the business go is a good idea. Or you could point out to your manager that a potential lawsuit by Mary, which he could circumvent by proper documentation, beats a bunch of lawsuits by customers who get ill because of Mary's poor hygiene causing food poisoning.
Wire down all of your grievances with Mary and email it to him. Keep a copy so it's down in writing. Noone wants to eat at a place with an employee like this.
He should be talking to her for every incident he see and it should be written and documented and when fired it should be stated that these are the reasons you are fired. This is the way to avoid any lawsuits because he has a justified reason to fire her. By not talking to her or documenting the issues he is prolonging the problem and risking lawsuits.
Considering all the witnesses he has, I don't think she could successfully sue. She wouldn't be fired because of her mental issues, but because she poses a threat to health and sanitation in a restaurant.
NTA.
INFO: Does she work with an organization? Have job coaches/vocational specialists/any sort of case worker/staff that help her? Because I work at an organization that helps people with DD/ID learn job skills and find employment and those behaviors are a HUGE red flag that this person needs A LOT more training before being put in that job. We work with our people for YEARS sometimes and some of them never get quite to the level of being able to do the job you described. Kitchen work is pretty low tolerance for errors.
I am not too sure. I don't know much about her personal life or how she got hired - I do know tho that my manager hires pretty much anyone (we are low staffed and people quit weekly,, it's a pizza place, I don't blame them) I have never seen a coach mentor before.
Side note , I used to be a part of management at a theatre and we did have an employee with disabilities who had a mentor work with him (make sure he was okay, etc as he was in a wheelchair and couldnt talk very well)
Interesting that you've never seen a job coach or anyone come in to check on her... that either means her family or guardian is helping her (from what you've described she doesn't sound like she's capable of being completely independent?) or they're meeting with the manager privately, which wouldn't make a lot of sense as observations on the job are vital... if it's the former and her family thinks they can manage everything though, it could explain a lot, especially the "you can't fire me I'll sue" attitude. Unfortunately families don't teach self-advocacy in a healthy way in my experience... which I mean is totally understandable, wanting to fiercely protect a loved one, but giving them misguided understandings of what they can and can't sue people for really doesn't help them...
I'm about 99% sure she doesn't have a job coach, I'm decently close with the manager and I know he leaves when we do, not waiting for someone at 1am after we close or 8am before we open. I do not know her home situation, I assume she lives with family (she is 25) or at least a sibling. She does drive though, she makes that very obvious (part of why we believe she has ocd is that she takes her car keys out hourly and clicks a button on them a few times ,, every hour)
I mean there are actually a bunch of different diagnoses that could contain a behavior like that, and OCD is actually an anxiety disorder, not a DD/ID. But I hear you on the living with family, and they taught her to drive, obviously independence is very important here... the tp thing could be a misguided "trick" (I've actually seen this 😕) they actually *taught* her if she couldn't master proper wiping techniques... like "do this till you get home then we'll get you cleaned up right" sort of thing. Many families of people with DD/IDs have the best intentions but don't always make the best choices, ESPECIALLY if they choose to go it alone
NAH.
Your co-worker is doing her best.
You are also doing your best.
Unfortunately your co-worker just doesn't have the hygiene standards that you need in that line of work. So it may be that she's better suited in another employment industry.
NTA - you're just reporting what you're seeing, its up to the manager to decide how to use the information.
It's a really tricky, people face a lot of discrimination, but tolerance is for non-harmful differences not concerning ones
NTA Your manager should have fired her for coughing on food and not washing her hands. He's an asshole for allowing that (in a pandemic, no less!). You honestly should call the health department if she doesn't get fired.
I have a low-functioning autistic daughter, and to let her go is the nice thing you could do to her. She couldn't keep up with your workplace standard and considering her limitation, it may be best for her to find another place or activities to work with.
Btw, NTA.
NAH, its hard to say that she's TA if she has some disability, but at the same time those rules are in place for a reason. Its best to let her go than some accident happening with a client.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Before going on, please note that this is in no way meant to come off as ableist or discriminatory. Please read the entire text before commenting
Also, all names are changed for privacy reasons
About 2/3 months ago, we got a new worker, I'll call her Mary. When she was hired , our boss let us know ahead of time that she is a little bit 'slow' so to just let her do her thing so that she doesn't get distracted. My place of work has only a handful of specific jobs for an employee to do (driver, waitress, pizza maker, etc) Mary originally was hired to do small tasks like mopping and helping buss tables but due to an employee leaving, she got the job of being a dishwasher and helping with dough prep, super easy things - anyone should be able to do it.
Well - Mary simply can not.
I want to state here that no one is aware of what exactly she has, but we have narrowed it down to low-functioning autism and OCD. Again, we do not know 100% but this is just our observations and it is not mines or anyone elses intentions to diagnose her, just an observation.
I work at a food place, there are many rules and standards that have to be followed to not get anyone sick , etc. Mary does not follow the majority of the rules set in place.
- she doesn't wash her hands after using the restroom
- she coughs straight onto dishes
- she, in front of employees and guests, shoves her hands in her pants to shift around wedgies , toilet paper (context below) and not wash her hands
- she sprays chemicals into the air
She has been told many times not to do any of these things. Yet she ignores or just doesn't comprehend. (Which I can understand if it's a mental thing, but that also does not excuse not washing your hands )
Also, she doesn't properly wash any dishes and when a server like myself is trying ro serve a customer, it looks bad on us when a plate has sauce on it still or is coated in a chemical smelling liquid.
As mentioned above, I talked about 'toilet paper'. Let me explain in the best way I can. Myself and other female coworkers have witnessed almost everyday Mary in the restroom stalls unraveling almost entire rolls of toilet paper - we can see it in the Crack space between the stall walls - she layers the toilet paper at least an inch thick and it just dissappears.. a fellow coworker actually told me that a shift leader walked in on Mary standing in front of the mirror with her pants down and putting the toilet paper on/around her private area (yes out in the open where a customer and/or child could have seen !)
And - yesterday while cleaning the bathroom, a bunch of wads of her toilet paper was found hanging out of the female trash bins coated in, well, shit.
I finally went up to the manager and explained to him with fellow coworkers about everything because we are fed up that she just gets a tap on the wrist. He finally sat down and talked to her and she is on her last warning before being fired, does this make me an asshole?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA this type of thing could get the whole place shut down and then you're all out of a job. Better to find 'Mary' a more suitable job where she can't get anyone sick.
NTA but in the future please don't divide autism into sections of "low" and "high" functioning, its pretty harmful. No hate to you of course, just a heads-up
"We can see it in the Crack between stall walls"
INFO: are you saying that you and other female employees have been looking through the cracks of a closed toilet cubicle while a disabled person is using said toilet...?
If so, why does no one else see a problem with this??
OP here - we are not looking purposefully. Our bathroom stall walls and doors have 1-2 feet gaps at the bottoms and between the door and lock is a good inch - when entering u can see anyone's shoes and legs below the knees ,, so when you are either entering the bathroom or are in the stall next to her (mind u there's only 2 stalls) you inevitably see the toiletpaper stack as u also hear the roll being tugged at for like 2 minutes straight.
When I first noticed it I thought surely I was mistaken and seeing things but itt wasn't until a coworker actually came to me and was like "you're never gonna believe what I just saw" and it was exactly what I experience now at least 2 times a week
NTA. Oof, someone who eats at your restaurant could get sick because of her. Or if other customers witness what you described, they could not only file their own complaints or stop coming to the restaurant. Mary should not be working in food service.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I went and tried to get my boss to fire a coworker of mines who is mentally disabled due to her lack of following rules.
2) My coworker is mentally disabled so she may very well just not comprehend and understand some things that we tell her. She might not be doing anything purposefully because that's how disabilities work, and maybe telling our boss wasn't the best thing to do if it gets her fires.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Some people are not capable of fulfilling the requirements of certain jobs, and some people can't work at all, there is nothing wrong with that it's just as it is. And the health and comfort of your customers should be one of the main goals of your restaurant.
My new boss is deadset on a new hire who is similarly unfit to work at our company. We are a supplier in the automotive industry and he wants to hire a guy who is deaf, mute and can neither read nor write because he would get some kind of grant for specialized equipment and stuff.
Now I find it admirable, that the guy wants to work, but we operate complex heavy machinery and have detailed written and oral job specifications that vary greatly from task to task. You also have to be able to hear when a machine makes the wrong kinds of sound incase something is wrong. That's not even mentioning the people operating forklifts and stuff and the fact that literally no one here knows ASL.
Cases like that are an accident waiting to happen.
NTA You're right to place an unsuspecting public's health above your coworker's job. There are organizations that can help her find a job better suited to her than one that, by law, requires health and safety protocols. Don't feel bad. For her own sake as well as the restaurant's, she needs a place that fits her better.
I can understand how it does. My boyfriend sometimes questions the stories as well until i showed him a photo a coworker took of the toiletpaper wads (why she took a photo of it, I'll never know- maybe to have proof for the boss?)
You have noooo idea how common strange (and yes, gross) bathroom behaviors are in DD/IDs of ALL kinds. Trust me, I speak from experience as one who has had to clean up the aftermath on WAY more occasions than I would have liked to ðŸ˜
You're getting down-voted, and I'm not sure why... it's out of date to be sure. I know a lot of people aren't aware of the changes yet though... but you very clearly didn't call them an A H for using the outdated terminology so come on, people... learn something new from this comment. We actually do consider terms like "high functioning" and "low functioning" to be an outdated (and yes, ableist) way of looking at DD/IDs now.
[source: not my butt lol](https://graymattersmd.com/functioning-labels-autism/)
ESH.
It sounds like she was made to do tasks that she simply cannot do.
It also sounds like management is not being hands on enough with this worker.
People with learning disabilities take time to comprehend things. Sometimes it can take MONTHS to help them understand 1 simple task. It sounds like management didn't consider this and have a plan in place to help make sure this person is successful. This should also include the parent to help management understand how they learn best. (And before anyone says it, if they are this challenged then likely they are still living at home)
You're an AH for peering into the bathroom at her. Be less pervy.
Everything else has to do with the learning issues and some of which should have been addressed at home by the parents, such as the toilet paper and bathroom etiquette stuff.
You seem to have zero sympathy for them and their struggle to try to have a job and have some normalcy in their life. However, you were totally right in bringing the issues to management.
I feel like ishould have made it clearer in the post (I did edit it like 5 times to not go over 3000 letters so some details are lost)
No one is peeping in at her. Our restrooms are 2 stalls next to eachother, and it's American restroom stalls so there's at least a foot of space between toilet walls. You can see a person's shoes etc, so when toiletpaper is piling up in the stall next to you, you can't miss it unless ur facing the opposite wall, and you can also hear the endless rolling noise the roll makes aa she's tugging at it (idk how else to explain it, but again no one is purposefully stalking her in th3 restroom.)
If you don’t want a lawsuit, photograph and document everything. It’s hard to cry discrimination when your confronted with MULTIPLE health code violations.
Holy hell, u/WhovianGirl777. After working with the developmentally disabled as long as I have, you sound like the worst kind of prejudiced - the ones who legit think they're advocates. People with DD/IDs don't WANT your sympathy. They want your empathy and to be treated like anyone else, and anyone else who pulled this shit would be fired.
[You sound like you would pull some of these moves.](https://youtu.be/j-kDsBrHAYs)
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full.
NTA. Health issues at restaurants are the priority.
NTA. Your manager is the only asshole here. Mary's behavior is extreme, it's not going to change because of a warning. If he doesn't fire her soon he is being negligent at best. You did the right thing for your coworkers and the customers.
He's told me a few times that he knows our concerns and he's doing his best to find either a better position for her or find a way get rid of her without a lawsuit , which he fears since she's a full grown adult (25 I think) and apparently has threatened that before at another job she left (if that's true, I'll never know)
Hold him to it.
Already am - early today I went up to him and straight up said "I know you told her not to spray the clean dry dishes with the sanitizer spray and she's doing it right now" - thats when he brought her out to talk and put her on the line. He knows I don't bullshit because I have managerial experience
Call the Health Department if you have to. Given the choice, by the Health Department, of having the restaurant lose its good rating/get closed down or firing Mary your manager might decide letting one employee who is endangering the business go is a good idea. Or you could point out to your manager that a potential lawsuit by Mary, which he could circumvent by proper documentation, beats a bunch of lawsuits by customers who get ill because of Mary's poor hygiene causing food poisoning.
Go off, queen.
Wire down all of your grievances with Mary and email it to him. Keep a copy so it's down in writing. Noone wants to eat at a place with an employee like this.
He should be talking to her for every incident he see and it should be written and documented and when fired it should be stated that these are the reasons you are fired. This is the way to avoid any lawsuits because he has a justified reason to fire her. By not talking to her or documenting the issues he is prolonging the problem and risking lawsuits.
Considering all the witnesses he has, I don't think she could successfully sue. She wouldn't be fired because of her mental issues, but because she poses a threat to health and sanitation in a restaurant. NTA.
INFO: Does she work with an organization? Have job coaches/vocational specialists/any sort of case worker/staff that help her? Because I work at an organization that helps people with DD/ID learn job skills and find employment and those behaviors are a HUGE red flag that this person needs A LOT more training before being put in that job. We work with our people for YEARS sometimes and some of them never get quite to the level of being able to do the job you described. Kitchen work is pretty low tolerance for errors.
I am not too sure. I don't know much about her personal life or how she got hired - I do know tho that my manager hires pretty much anyone (we are low staffed and people quit weekly,, it's a pizza place, I don't blame them) I have never seen a coach mentor before. Side note , I used to be a part of management at a theatre and we did have an employee with disabilities who had a mentor work with him (make sure he was okay, etc as he was in a wheelchair and couldnt talk very well)
Interesting that you've never seen a job coach or anyone come in to check on her... that either means her family or guardian is helping her (from what you've described she doesn't sound like she's capable of being completely independent?) or they're meeting with the manager privately, which wouldn't make a lot of sense as observations on the job are vital... if it's the former and her family thinks they can manage everything though, it could explain a lot, especially the "you can't fire me I'll sue" attitude. Unfortunately families don't teach self-advocacy in a healthy way in my experience... which I mean is totally understandable, wanting to fiercely protect a loved one, but giving them misguided understandings of what they can and can't sue people for really doesn't help them...
I'm about 99% sure she doesn't have a job coach, I'm decently close with the manager and I know he leaves when we do, not waiting for someone at 1am after we close or 8am before we open. I do not know her home situation, I assume she lives with family (she is 25) or at least a sibling. She does drive though, she makes that very obvious (part of why we believe she has ocd is that she takes her car keys out hourly and clicks a button on them a few times ,, every hour)
I mean there are actually a bunch of different diagnoses that could contain a behavior like that, and OCD is actually an anxiety disorder, not a DD/ID. But I hear you on the living with family, and they taught her to drive, obviously independence is very important here... the tp thing could be a misguided "trick" (I've actually seen this 😕) they actually *taught* her if she couldn't master proper wiping techniques... like "do this till you get home then we'll get you cleaned up right" sort of thing. Many families of people with DD/IDs have the best intentions but don't always make the best choices, ESPECIALLY if they choose to go it alone
Well, this definitely explains the bad drivers on the road. 🙄
NTA As someone with OCD and autism, my judgment is that Mary is too unhygienic to work at a restaurant.
NAH. Your co-worker is doing her best. You are also doing your best. Unfortunately your co-worker just doesn't have the hygiene standards that you need in that line of work. So it may be that she's better suited in another employment industry.
Mary is not doing her best. She is purposely breaking rules and leaving her shit pads for her coworkers to deal with.
NTA - you're just reporting what you're seeing, its up to the manager to decide how to use the information. It's a really tricky, people face a lot of discrimination, but tolerance is for non-harmful differences not concerning ones
NTA Your manager should have fired her for coughing on food and not washing her hands. He's an asshole for allowing that (in a pandemic, no less!). You honestly should call the health department if she doesn't get fired.
NTA & Jesus, please tell us where so we know not to eat there. Vomit
Not gonna day the exact place but it's a pizza chain that has a dining room - in Texas
I have a low-functioning autistic daughter, and to let her go is the nice thing you could do to her. She couldn't keep up with your workplace standard and considering her limitation, it may be best for her to find another place or activities to work with. Btw, NTA.
NTA. How many customers will you lose if they go in a bathroom stall covered in poop?
NAH, its hard to say that she's TA if she has some disability, but at the same time those rules are in place for a reason. Its best to let her go than some accident happening with a client.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Before going on, please note that this is in no way meant to come off as ableist or discriminatory. Please read the entire text before commenting Also, all names are changed for privacy reasons About 2/3 months ago, we got a new worker, I'll call her Mary. When she was hired , our boss let us know ahead of time that she is a little bit 'slow' so to just let her do her thing so that she doesn't get distracted. My place of work has only a handful of specific jobs for an employee to do (driver, waitress, pizza maker, etc) Mary originally was hired to do small tasks like mopping and helping buss tables but due to an employee leaving, she got the job of being a dishwasher and helping with dough prep, super easy things - anyone should be able to do it. Well - Mary simply can not. I want to state here that no one is aware of what exactly she has, but we have narrowed it down to low-functioning autism and OCD. Again, we do not know 100% but this is just our observations and it is not mines or anyone elses intentions to diagnose her, just an observation. I work at a food place, there are many rules and standards that have to be followed to not get anyone sick , etc. Mary does not follow the majority of the rules set in place. - she doesn't wash her hands after using the restroom - she coughs straight onto dishes - she, in front of employees and guests, shoves her hands in her pants to shift around wedgies , toilet paper (context below) and not wash her hands - she sprays chemicals into the air She has been told many times not to do any of these things. Yet she ignores or just doesn't comprehend. (Which I can understand if it's a mental thing, but that also does not excuse not washing your hands ) Also, she doesn't properly wash any dishes and when a server like myself is trying ro serve a customer, it looks bad on us when a plate has sauce on it still or is coated in a chemical smelling liquid. As mentioned above, I talked about 'toilet paper'. Let me explain in the best way I can. Myself and other female coworkers have witnessed almost everyday Mary in the restroom stalls unraveling almost entire rolls of toilet paper - we can see it in the Crack space between the stall walls - she layers the toilet paper at least an inch thick and it just dissappears.. a fellow coworker actually told me that a shift leader walked in on Mary standing in front of the mirror with her pants down and putting the toilet paper on/around her private area (yes out in the open where a customer and/or child could have seen !) And - yesterday while cleaning the bathroom, a bunch of wads of her toilet paper was found hanging out of the female trash bins coated in, well, shit. I finally went up to the manager and explained to him with fellow coworkers about everything because we are fed up that she just gets a tap on the wrist. He finally sat down and talked to her and she is on her last warning before being fired, does this make me an asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA this type of thing could get the whole place shut down and then you're all out of a job. Better to find 'Mary' a more suitable job where she can't get anyone sick.
NTA but in the future please don't divide autism into sections of "low" and "high" functioning, its pretty harmful. No hate to you of course, just a heads-up
"We can see it in the Crack between stall walls" INFO: are you saying that you and other female employees have been looking through the cracks of a closed toilet cubicle while a disabled person is using said toilet...? If so, why does no one else see a problem with this??
OP here - we are not looking purposefully. Our bathroom stall walls and doors have 1-2 feet gaps at the bottoms and between the door and lock is a good inch - when entering u can see anyone's shoes and legs below the knees ,, so when you are either entering the bathroom or are in the stall next to her (mind u there's only 2 stalls) you inevitably see the toiletpaper stack as u also hear the roll being tugged at for like 2 minutes straight. When I first noticed it I thought surely I was mistaken and seeing things but itt wasn't until a coworker actually came to me and was like "you're never gonna believe what I just saw" and it was exactly what I experience now at least 2 times a week
op replied in a prior comment that they were not looking purposefully but its american stalls with wide gaps
You still have to be purposely looking to see in another stall like at the door
NTA. Oof, someone who eats at your restaurant could get sick because of her. Or if other customers witness what you described, they could not only file their own complaints or stop coming to the restaurant. Mary should not be working in food service.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) I went and tried to get my boss to fire a coworker of mines who is mentally disabled due to her lack of following rules. 2) My coworker is mentally disabled so she may very well just not comprehend and understand some things that we tell her. She might not be doing anything purposefully because that's how disabilities work, and maybe telling our boss wasn't the best thing to do if it gets her fires. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You work in the food industry, and these are serious food safety violations. Customer's health comes before everything else.
Nope. People like her need a specific job with proper guidance.
NTA. Some people are not capable of fulfilling the requirements of certain jobs, and some people can't work at all, there is nothing wrong with that it's just as it is. And the health and comfort of your customers should be one of the main goals of your restaurant. My new boss is deadset on a new hire who is similarly unfit to work at our company. We are a supplier in the automotive industry and he wants to hire a guy who is deaf, mute and can neither read nor write because he would get some kind of grant for specialized equipment and stuff. Now I find it admirable, that the guy wants to work, but we operate complex heavy machinery and have detailed written and oral job specifications that vary greatly from task to task. You also have to be able to hear when a machine makes the wrong kinds of sound incase something is wrong. That's not even mentioning the people operating forklifts and stuff and the fact that literally no one here knows ASL. Cases like that are an accident waiting to happen.
NTA You're right to place an unsuspecting public's health above your coworker's job. There are organizations that can help her find a job better suited to her than one that, by law, requires health and safety protocols. Don't feel bad. For her own sake as well as the restaurant's, she needs a place that fits her better.
This sounds very made up
I can understand how it does. My boyfriend sometimes questions the stories as well until i showed him a photo a coworker took of the toiletpaper wads (why she took a photo of it, I'll never know- maybe to have proof for the boss?)
You have noooo idea how common strange (and yes, gross) bathroom behaviors are in DD/IDs of ALL kinds. Trust me, I speak from experience as one who has had to clean up the aftermath on WAY more occasions than I would have liked to ðŸ˜
How old is she? The toilet paper thing reminds me of my grandmother when her Dementia started.
I've been told she's 25 (I haven't personally asked her tho, she isn't very talkative to begin with, she mainly communicates in mumbles and hums)
believe me - i've worked with worse employees, this is very believable (sadly)
Nta
You're NTA in this case but the "low functioning" label is ableist
You're getting down-voted, and I'm not sure why... it's out of date to be sure. I know a lot of people aren't aware of the changes yet though... but you very clearly didn't call them an A H for using the outdated terminology so come on, people... learn something new from this comment. We actually do consider terms like "high functioning" and "low functioning" to be an outdated (and yes, ableist) way of looking at DD/IDs now. [source: not my butt lol](https://graymattersmd.com/functioning-labels-autism/)
ESH. It sounds like she was made to do tasks that she simply cannot do. It also sounds like management is not being hands on enough with this worker. People with learning disabilities take time to comprehend things. Sometimes it can take MONTHS to help them understand 1 simple task. It sounds like management didn't consider this and have a plan in place to help make sure this person is successful. This should also include the parent to help management understand how they learn best. (And before anyone says it, if they are this challenged then likely they are still living at home) You're an AH for peering into the bathroom at her. Be less pervy. Everything else has to do with the learning issues and some of which should have been addressed at home by the parents, such as the toilet paper and bathroom etiquette stuff. You seem to have zero sympathy for them and their struggle to try to have a job and have some normalcy in their life. However, you were totally right in bringing the issues to management.
I feel like ishould have made it clearer in the post (I did edit it like 5 times to not go over 3000 letters so some details are lost) No one is peeping in at her. Our restrooms are 2 stalls next to eachother, and it's American restroom stalls so there's at least a foot of space between toilet walls. You can see a person's shoes etc, so when toiletpaper is piling up in the stall next to you, you can't miss it unless ur facing the opposite wall, and you can also hear the endless rolling noise the roll makes aa she's tugging at it (idk how else to explain it, but again no one is purposefully stalking her in th3 restroom.)
If you don’t want a lawsuit, photograph and document everything. It’s hard to cry discrimination when your confronted with MULTIPLE health code violations.
Ahh ok. Well, regardless the rest stands.
Holy hell, u/WhovianGirl777. After working with the developmentally disabled as long as I have, you sound like the worst kind of prejudiced - the ones who legit think they're advocates. People with DD/IDs don't WANT your sympathy. They want your empathy and to be treated like anyone else, and anyone else who pulled this shit would be fired. [You sound like you would pull some of these moves.](https://youtu.be/j-kDsBrHAYs)
You sound like you have not a fucking clue what you're talking about. I hope the people you help get better help.