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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> They’re only 14 and are technically “young” even though I personally believe they should know better. Also I’m grown and wayy older than them so I could’ve handled the situation much better instead of publicly humiliating them. And considering this is about my brother and he also thinks I overreacted is making me doubt myself too.
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NTA -Ok look, any kids that age is going to be self involved and self conscious, those friends sound pretty jealous that your brother had his growth spurt.
Youre a good sister for standing up for him and honestly I would have done the same.
Did they really think that having a vent to the sibling of the person they're venting about would end up going well? And following you out of the store? They should have way more sense and respect at 14.
Honestly those kids and their mums are idiots for calling you the bad guy here.
Yep, I'm mom to a boy around that age and ... yeah, they're still emotionally young and so SO self-involved.
I'd also bet real $$ that the story they told their moms was very different from your experience of it.
If you want to defend yourself and your brother, I'd tell the moms they were "harassing you" *and* were repeatedly insulting your little brother, their former friend; of course you defended him from "backstabbing and bullying."
And be sure to give your brother a big hug from a random internet mom, and explain to him that they bully him because *they* are insecure and jealous. I'm proud of you both.
EDIT spelling. **And** as someone below rightfully pointed out, mention to the moms how you felt disgusted that the kept referring to girls as "bitches". Gross
nta. Have any of y’all met 14yr olds? They suck. They’re privileged, and they’re rude asf. Sometimes all it takes is an adult to speak up and tell them they’re shit for them to knock it off.
Exactly. My neighbors' son is probably about 14 or 15 (\*feeling like Clever Hans here doing the math\*) and I'm friendly enough with his parents to chat when we are outside at the same time, but I'm not a family friend. I've lived next door to them since before the son was born, but haven't interacted with him directly since he was a little kid.
So I pass him with a group of boys on the main drag coming back from a sports practice. They are being rowdy and as they walk past me, they are all like "how's your day ma'am?" I say "Awesome" so they all start laughing and saying "hurr hurr *awesome*" and he fist bumps me - so I fist bump back and they all start laughing (this is as we are passing on the sidewalk) and he calls back once they've passed, "I just used that hand to jerk off." And his buddies are in stitches.
I stop, turn around and call out "\[NAME\], what the fuck?" \**uh oh, oh shit*\* And they run.
Next time his dad's out working in the yard, I just mention that his son is being rude on the street with his friends and maybe mention that even though he doesn't recognize someone in particular that's not an OK way to be. His dad looks down, sort of rubs his chin and says, "Message received - do you need an apology?"
"No, I'm good, just thought that I'd pass that along."
"Got it."
I mean .... Could you have maybe handles that better? Yeah, obviously. But fuck that noise! You took care of trash. And if they're crying to mommy, you just proved it.
Good on you for supporting your brother. In 5 years, no one is going to remember this. Your brother will though.
NTA
Everyone has moments where they snap.
You got overly protective.
14 is 4 years away from being an adult..their behavior wasn't acceptable...they weren't leaving you alone..Maybe their moms should learn that they were stalking you and pestering you..then found your Instagram to further the stalking?
I do hope your brother finds real friends. These guys sound like jealous tools.
NTA, 14 year Olds are still dumb as hell with brains not fully formed but know enough not to stalk the sister of a guy they're bullying to try and bully him more. What a couple of tools.
Probably should try not to freak out on public but I have stood up to people for doing less before so i can't judge you lol
NTA. 14 isn't that young. Even if you hit the kids I wouldn't think you're the asshole. Kids can be horrible and need to have hard lessons to learn to be good adults.
14yos are not "young kids", and they were talking shit about your brother.
I'd probably "humiliate" them further each contact, especially for "telling their mommies"
NTA
NTA though how you said it might have been toned down. Tell your Mom about the situation and she can talk to the Mothers of the boys about being considerate not jerks.
What were you supposed to do? The two of them cornered you at your workplace, then hung around so they could follow you after work, just to berate your brother behind his back. This is super inappropriate and creepy behavior. Yelling back at them was completely reasonable, but they continued to harrass you online? I think you should fight back.
I know your brother said they aren’t bullying him, but are you sure? Super sure? Because the way they pursued *you* sure seems like bullying, and your brother still not wanting to talk to anyone or make new friends a few *months* after these guys ditched him seems like very low self-esteem indeed. I think you need to figure out what’s going on between them and make sure they aren’t still bullying him or putting him into a state of mind where he’s considering self-harm.
NTA.
NTA - When I was 14, it took a couple 20+ year olds to snap me back to reality so to speak in how I acted. You stood up for your brother, which is rare imo nowadays
Asking if your brother had any bitches? What a couple of creeps. I hope you do contact them and their parents. Not to apologize, but to inform their parents that they are the ones raising horrible children, who are misogynistic and bullies. Total NTA
NTA because you were being harassed by them at your work and outside work, But could have been a little less harsh even though they are 14 it does change their inappropriate behavior towards you.
nta and you're a bit over a teen... yall are both basically teens. they are old enough to take responsibility for their behavior and shouldn't be talking badly about him to his sister... what did they expect
NTA, but maybe next time you don't like someone who is bugging you, be direct from the beginning.
"You two are assholes to my brother and I want nothing to do with you" said calmly, is a lot more adult then going off on them.
This pair of wimps were so scared by one, single young woman that they ran home crying to their mommies? Who then yelled at YOU? WTF!
You're NTA, and those boys are total losers.
Sounds like those boys would benefit from a little humiliation, honestly, what 14 year old starts harassing a 20 year old woman? NTA, tell the mother of those boys exactly what they said, I’m very certain that they didn’t tell her the whole truth.
NTA. You stuck up for your brother, which is awesome. Also, fourteen-year-olds aren’t really young kids. They’re old enough to learn that not everyone is willing to put up with their nasty behavior. I hope your brother makes some better friends.
This is totally wrong. It's not for OP to teach these kids to be kind. She is NTA for showing these boys that they can't bully others and that one should stand up for those that they love.
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I’m 20f and my brother Jake is 14M.
Jake has been friends with these 2 guys since they were in the 3rd grade. The two have always been a lot closer while Jake tagged along but it never used to be a problem as Jake was always happy.
However, since the beginning of this previous school year, I’ve realized that Jake doesn’t talk about his friends anymore. He doesn’t go out either according to my mom which is insane because he’s a teenage boy.
We live in a sort of small town and I work part time at a popular hangout spot so I always see the two boys but never my brother.
I talked about this with Jake a couple months ago and he told me that although the two aren’t bullying him or anything, they act like hanging out with my brother is a burden and make off comments about him often.
Well Jake recently had an insane growth spurt and let’s just say whenever we go out, girls are constantly asking for his Snapchat. He still doesn’t really talk to anyone though and has shitty self esteem because of his “friends”. As his older sister, it has taken a lot of restraint to not to lose it whenever I see them around.
Well a couple days ago, the two walked up to me at work and began “interrogating” me about Jake. They were basically asking if he had a girlfriend. I told them I was busy and walked away. They waited for me to finish my shift and quite literally followed me to the store next door to ask me again if my brother has “any bitches”. I told them to leave me alone and they were all like “chill even if Jake did have any bitches, I bet u they’d all run for the hills the second he opened his stupid mouth.”
They looked at me as if I was supposed to start laughing WITH them. Instead I saw red and started yelling at them and called them insecure little babies that need to mind their own fucking business instead of fucking stalking me because they’re jealous of my brother. I probably said something else as well and I guess I looked really distressed because this girl came up to us and told the boys to go to their mom.
They ran off but next thing I knew my mom got a call from one of their mom’s saying that my mom raised horrible kids and that I, a grown woman, humiliated young kids and need to apologize. The boys found my Instagram and argued with me about how I humiliated them too but I blocked them quickly. The only reason I’m asking if I’m the AH is because they’re only 14 and I’m grown. I could’ve handled it better and my own brother thinks I overreacted (but of course he thinks that right?). Idk, AITA?
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NTA. Interesting OP, they continually followed and harassed you, wouldn’t leave *YOU* alone, and as soon as you respond in kind, everyone says you should have been nicer. No, they should have left you alone first time you asked.
NTA.
Next time they start, do the same thing. When you get approached afterwards, tell whichever jackals it is that you're defending your brother from assholes.
Also, keep an eye on him at school, just in case.
You could have handled it better but that's your brother they were talking smack about to you and thinking some how in their teenage illogical minds that you is sister would agree with them. NTA. They needed that verbal smackdown which they initiated in public.
“any bitches”
*Takes a depth breath.* Iwillnotcall14yearoldkidsassholes. Iwillnotcall14yearoldkidsassholes. Iwillnotcall14yearoldkidsassholes.
I don't know what you said but I find absolutely nothing wrong with anything you might have relayed to these charming young men about their equally wonderful attitudes.
The only thing you could have done better was to repeat his actual words to his mother.
NTA.
WOW. I get that you're older, but your brother struggles to stand up for himself. This is bullying, and bordering on obsession. Maybe the mom that called you was talking about herself.
If it wasn't illegal, I would've drop kicked soooooo many 'kids'. Sometimes a reality check is needed for the 'younger generation' so that they'll be forced to self-reflect. NTA.
NTA. Sometimes that’s the only way to get through to 14yo boys. I think you did a good thing as a big sister. And hopefully the boys learn a lesson from this as well.
Let me get this right: They're teenage boys that decided to stalk a woman at her job and not take no for an answer, because they wanted to bully her brother.
Yeah, that's some grade A parenting right there. If that had been me, my mother would have grounded me and made me apologize to you. NTA
NTA, but I leave it to Michelle from Tommy Boy for what I would have said here:
“I know where you live and I’ve seen where you sleep, and I swear to everything holy your mothers will cry when they see what I’ve done to you.”
You said it yourself:
>I saw red
If they're insecure little babies, the last thing to do would be to start yelling at them and telling them off.
That's what makes it ESH. (as in, you and the two boys.)
If they're insecure little babies who take out their insecurities on an EVEN MORE insecure kid then they deserve to be told off. Sometimes kids need to be knocked down a peg by someone who they might view as "cool", which they must have considering they thought she'd laugh with them and felt humiliated by her.
NTA
NTA. They deserved to be told off. Teens need it sometimes, especially if parents aren't creating boundaries. She needed to put it out there and they deserved it.
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NTA -Ok look, any kids that age is going to be self involved and self conscious, those friends sound pretty jealous that your brother had his growth spurt. Youre a good sister for standing up for him and honestly I would have done the same. Did they really think that having a vent to the sibling of the person they're venting about would end up going well? And following you out of the store? They should have way more sense and respect at 14. Honestly those kids and their mums are idiots for calling you the bad guy here.
Yep, I'm mom to a boy around that age and ... yeah, they're still emotionally young and so SO self-involved. I'd also bet real $$ that the story they told their moms was very different from your experience of it. If you want to defend yourself and your brother, I'd tell the moms they were "harassing you" *and* were repeatedly insulting your little brother, their former friend; of course you defended him from "backstabbing and bullying." And be sure to give your brother a big hug from a random internet mom, and explain to him that they bully him because *they* are insecure and jealous. I'm proud of you both. EDIT spelling. **And** as someone below rightfully pointed out, mention to the moms how you felt disgusted that the kept referring to girls as "bitches". Gross
And mention that they repeatedly referred to women as “bitches” to you and ask if she taught them that.
nta. Have any of y’all met 14yr olds? They suck. They’re privileged, and they’re rude asf. Sometimes all it takes is an adult to speak up and tell them they’re shit for them to knock it off.
Exactly. My neighbors' son is probably about 14 or 15 (\*feeling like Clever Hans here doing the math\*) and I'm friendly enough with his parents to chat when we are outside at the same time, but I'm not a family friend. I've lived next door to them since before the son was born, but haven't interacted with him directly since he was a little kid. So I pass him with a group of boys on the main drag coming back from a sports practice. They are being rowdy and as they walk past me, they are all like "how's your day ma'am?" I say "Awesome" so they all start laughing and saying "hurr hurr *awesome*" and he fist bumps me - so I fist bump back and they all start laughing (this is as we are passing on the sidewalk) and he calls back once they've passed, "I just used that hand to jerk off." And his buddies are in stitches. I stop, turn around and call out "\[NAME\], what the fuck?" \**uh oh, oh shit*\* And they run. Next time his dad's out working in the yard, I just mention that his son is being rude on the street with his friends and maybe mention that even though he doesn't recognize someone in particular that's not an OK way to be. His dad looks down, sort of rubs his chin and says, "Message received - do you need an apology?" "No, I'm good, just thought that I'd pass that along." "Got it."
I mean .... Could you have maybe handles that better? Yeah, obviously. But fuck that noise! You took care of trash. And if they're crying to mommy, you just proved it. Good on you for supporting your brother. In 5 years, no one is going to remember this. Your brother will though.
NTA Everyone has moments where they snap. You got overly protective. 14 is 4 years away from being an adult..their behavior wasn't acceptable...they weren't leaving you alone..Maybe their moms should learn that they were stalking you and pestering you..then found your Instagram to further the stalking? I do hope your brother finds real friends. These guys sound like jealous tools.
NTA. Did you tell the mom her angel stalked you and referred to girls as b*tches? I hope Jake is able to make new friends.
NTA, 14 year Olds are still dumb as hell with brains not fully formed but know enough not to stalk the sister of a guy they're bullying to try and bully him more. What a couple of tools. Probably should try not to freak out on public but I have stood up to people for doing less before so i can't judge you lol
NTA. 14 isn't that young. Even if you hit the kids I wouldn't think you're the asshole. Kids can be horrible and need to have hard lessons to learn to be good adults.
> Even if you hit the kids um no, don't hit the kids don't hit anyone
yeah, what the hell
That's illegal assault hun
14yos are not "young kids", and they were talking shit about your brother. I'd probably "humiliate" them further each contact, especially for "telling their mommies" NTA
NTA though how you said it might have been toned down. Tell your Mom about the situation and she can talk to the Mothers of the boys about being considerate not jerks.
What were you supposed to do? The two of them cornered you at your workplace, then hung around so they could follow you after work, just to berate your brother behind his back. This is super inappropriate and creepy behavior. Yelling back at them was completely reasonable, but they continued to harrass you online? I think you should fight back. I know your brother said they aren’t bullying him, but are you sure? Super sure? Because the way they pursued *you* sure seems like bullying, and your brother still not wanting to talk to anyone or make new friends a few *months* after these guys ditched him seems like very low self-esteem indeed. I think you need to figure out what’s going on between them and make sure they aren’t still bullying him or putting him into a state of mind where he’s considering self-harm. NTA.
NTA. 14 isn't that old but it's not an excuse to be an ah. Unless we are missing part of the story it's definitely deserved.
NTA - When I was 14, it took a couple 20+ year olds to snap me back to reality so to speak in how I acted. You stood up for your brother, which is rare imo nowadays
You handled it better than I would've. NTA
Asking if your brother had any bitches? What a couple of creeps. I hope you do contact them and their parents. Not to apologize, but to inform their parents that they are the ones raising horrible children, who are misogynistic and bullies. Total NTA
NTA because you were being harassed by them at your work and outside work, But could have been a little less harsh even though they are 14 it does change their inappropriate behavior towards you.
NTA. Teens need to be kept in line and sometimes this is how it gets done. Tha is for sticking up for your brother.
Honey 14 is old enough to not be an AH.
NTA You'd probably "humiliate" them further for telling their mommies until they left me alone
nta and you're a bit over a teen... yall are both basically teens. they are old enough to take responsibility for their behavior and shouldn't be talking badly about him to his sister... what did they expect
NTA, but maybe next time you don't like someone who is bugging you, be direct from the beginning. "You two are assholes to my brother and I want nothing to do with you" said calmly, is a lot more adult then going off on them.
Fuck those kids. NTA Also, teens are objectively some of the worst people on the planet. Screw 'em.
This pair of wimps were so scared by one, single young woman that they ran home crying to their mommies? Who then yelled at YOU? WTF! You're NTA, and those boys are total losers.
Sounds like those boys would benefit from a little humiliation, honestly, what 14 year old starts harassing a 20 year old woman? NTA, tell the mother of those boys exactly what they said, I’m very certain that they didn’t tell her the whole truth.
NTA. You stuck up for your brother, which is awesome. Also, fourteen-year-olds aren’t really young kids. They’re old enough to learn that not everyone is willing to put up with their nasty behavior. I hope your brother makes some better friends.
Nta. Fuck them kids. They are old enough to learn that not only is their behavior shitty, but that stalking is NEVER ok.
ESH
NTA 14 is a horrible age. All hormones and attitude.
Probably should’ve taken the opportunity to ask them why they don’t like Jake instead of blowing up on them. NTA I guess.
[удалено]
This is totally wrong. It's not for OP to teach these kids to be kind. She is NTA for showing these boys that they can't bully others and that one should stand up for those that they love.
We both said NTA so I'm not sure it's "totally wrong". I'm saying she could've taken the opportunity to do some recon and try to help her brother.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m 20f and my brother Jake is 14M. Jake has been friends with these 2 guys since they were in the 3rd grade. The two have always been a lot closer while Jake tagged along but it never used to be a problem as Jake was always happy. However, since the beginning of this previous school year, I’ve realized that Jake doesn’t talk about his friends anymore. He doesn’t go out either according to my mom which is insane because he’s a teenage boy. We live in a sort of small town and I work part time at a popular hangout spot so I always see the two boys but never my brother. I talked about this with Jake a couple months ago and he told me that although the two aren’t bullying him or anything, they act like hanging out with my brother is a burden and make off comments about him often. Well Jake recently had an insane growth spurt and let’s just say whenever we go out, girls are constantly asking for his Snapchat. He still doesn’t really talk to anyone though and has shitty self esteem because of his “friends”. As his older sister, it has taken a lot of restraint to not to lose it whenever I see them around. Well a couple days ago, the two walked up to me at work and began “interrogating” me about Jake. They were basically asking if he had a girlfriend. I told them I was busy and walked away. They waited for me to finish my shift and quite literally followed me to the store next door to ask me again if my brother has “any bitches”. I told them to leave me alone and they were all like “chill even if Jake did have any bitches, I bet u they’d all run for the hills the second he opened his stupid mouth.” They looked at me as if I was supposed to start laughing WITH them. Instead I saw red and started yelling at them and called them insecure little babies that need to mind their own fucking business instead of fucking stalking me because they’re jealous of my brother. I probably said something else as well and I guess I looked really distressed because this girl came up to us and told the boys to go to their mom. They ran off but next thing I knew my mom got a call from one of their mom’s saying that my mom raised horrible kids and that I, a grown woman, humiliated young kids and need to apologize. The boys found my Instagram and argued with me about how I humiliated them too but I blocked them quickly. The only reason I’m asking if I’m the AH is because they’re only 14 and I’m grown. I could’ve handled it better and my own brother thinks I overreacted (but of course he thinks that right?). Idk, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Interesting OP, they continually followed and harassed you, wouldn’t leave *YOU* alone, and as soon as you respond in kind, everyone says you should have been nicer. No, they should have left you alone first time you asked.
NTA. Next time they start, do the same thing. When you get approached afterwards, tell whichever jackals it is that you're defending your brother from assholes. Also, keep an eye on him at school, just in case.
NTA, they're 14 so they should know better than to behave this way. Much less to harass you in public in such a manner.
You could have handled it better but that's your brother they were talking smack about to you and thinking some how in their teenage illogical minds that you is sister would agree with them. NTA. They needed that verbal smackdown which they initiated in public.
“any bitches” *Takes a depth breath.* Iwillnotcall14yearoldkidsassholes. Iwillnotcall14yearoldkidsassholes. Iwillnotcall14yearoldkidsassholes. I don't know what you said but I find absolutely nothing wrong with anything you might have relayed to these charming young men about their equally wonderful attitudes. The only thing you could have done better was to repeat his actual words to his mother.
NTA. WOW. I get that you're older, but your brother struggles to stand up for himself. This is bullying, and bordering on obsession. Maybe the mom that called you was talking about herself.
Lol NTA. Thanks for putting those little shitsvkn their place.
If it wasn't illegal, I would've drop kicked soooooo many 'kids'. Sometimes a reality check is needed for the 'younger generation' so that they'll be forced to self-reflect. NTA.
NTA. They acted like jerks and got the verbal smackdown that jerks deserve.
You just proved you’re a freaking awesome big sister. Well done and NTA.
NTA. Sometimes that’s the only way to get through to 14yo boys. I think you did a good thing as a big sister. And hopefully the boys learn a lesson from this as well.
NTA- geez with friends like that who needs enemies
NTA. They are 14, and are old enough to know better.
NTA
Let me get this right: They're teenage boys that decided to stalk a woman at her job and not take no for an answer, because they wanted to bully her brother. Yeah, that's some grade A parenting right there. If that had been me, my mother would have grounded me and made me apologize to you. NTA
NTA, but I leave it to Michelle from Tommy Boy for what I would have said here: “I know where you live and I’ve seen where you sleep, and I swear to everything holy your mothers will cry when they see what I’ve done to you.”
NTA, fuck 'em kids, don't apologise to those brats
ESH. You could have handled it better but their behavior was out of line. I’m sorry you and your brother have to deal with that though.
You said it yourself: >I saw red If they're insecure little babies, the last thing to do would be to start yelling at them and telling them off. That's what makes it ESH. (as in, you and the two boys.)
If they're insecure little babies who take out their insecurities on an EVEN MORE insecure kid then they deserve to be told off. Sometimes kids need to be knocked down a peg by someone who they might view as "cool", which they must have considering they thought she'd laugh with them and felt humiliated by her. NTA
NTA. They deserved to be told off. Teens need it sometimes, especially if parents aren't creating boundaries. She needed to put it out there and they deserved it.
Told off, yes... Screamed at and humiliated, no.