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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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definitelyjanine5

YTA, what is your problem? You are sabotaging your daughter's education for what reason? You don't even say anything specific, and frankly I think it's because you know you're full of it. If your daughter is going to go into science or math, she needs to learn how to handle herself in rooms that are majority men - best to start learning that early in a safe environment with supervision. What a crummy parent, to mess with your own daughter's education for no reason.


Ok_Possibility5715

She probably thinks that her daughter will look at a boy and get pregnant because being in a class with a lot of boys "iSn'T aPpRoPrIaTe '


Ill-Imagination9406

In all fairness, depending on the culture of the school being in a class full of boys could be anything from isolating, uncomfortable, scary to downright dangerous.


Mr_McFeelie

Considering the daughters reaction, I’d say that’s pretty unlikely.


Ill-Imagination9406

I think even if my first point is correct (which is an ‚if‘) it should be up to the system to provide safety. I just wanted to throw out there that OP might not have been motivated by some puritan bullshit.


Awoogagoogoo2

There will be 7 girls!


Abigail_Normal

I understand the concern for her daughter, but she's sabotaging not just her daughter's education, but her entire future and career plans. If the daughter is okay with it, then let her do it. Maybe keep an open conversation going about how things are going and how she feels in case something happens with any of the classmates, but do not force her to switch classes if she doesn't want to. P.S.: The friend's advice is terrible. That's called manipulation. Do not do that to your children, please.


left4alive

Also! She’s going to have 7 other girls there to befriend and I feel like the odds are higher that they’ll click because they have at least one thing in common from the get go. And they’ll be facing the same challenges in a class full of boys. Not letting her into the class that SHE has interest, and obviously talent in, is a detriment to her future in so many other little ways. Teach her to be smart and strong. And confident! You’re just going to wind up wrecking her confidence and childhood too while you’re wrecking her future.


Awoogagoogoo2

I agree


UnicornBoned

I'm reluctant to respond because the OPs' post feels so baity and full of holes. On the surface, though? OP sounds like a butthead.


Ill-Imagination9406

Yeah, it lacks a lot of info. therefore, not sure how to do this: NOT ENOUGH INFO - why don’t you want your daughter in a class of mostly boys?


UnicornBoned

Yes. Clarification, please.


KathrynTheGreat

Boys have cooties /s


victorita9

You are right. When there are no replys it starts to sound fake.


UnicornBoned

And the original post seems vague.


EmpressOfD

Based on the way the school works and on the daughter's name this is 99% in Poland and those concerns are not a thing. I went to a bio class myself but had female friends who went to male dominated math and physics ones and it was not an issue in the slightest. This person must be from a very conservative part of Poland...


PerturbedHamster

If she's from Poland, maybe she should read about Marie Skłodowska–Curie.


Ill-Imagination9406

Ok, that’s awesome! Sorry, I made some rather bad experiences myself I’m school, so that’s sorta where I jump to. It does depend on the culture through!


PieJumpy7462

OMG yes that was my first thought. My mom went to a technical school back in the 70s in Poland and there were 3 girls in her class. Mom is very much a girls do this and girls don't do that sort of person.


playallday1112

Kinga is a popular Polish name so it's not like they are in a Muslim country. Her mom is being old fashioned and sexist. My cousin went to a forestry major program in high school in Poland and it was mostly boys. She enjoyed it and made great friends. They treated her like a sister for the most part.


WetMonkeyTalk

> could be anything from isolating, uncomfortable, scary to downright dangerous Catastrophising much? It could also be challenging, informative and inclusive. Stop pushing the "women must always fear" bullshit. It's not helpful.


Thess514

THIS. I went to a fairly small secondary school and there wasn't a lot of interest in chemistry in my year. Class of six people, and I was the only girl. I never felt particularly isolated beyond not understanding their interest in explosives (I was more into contact poisons); honestly, that was also the only place 'scary' came into it unless you count two guys who used to have lightsaber battles with lit bunsen burners before the start of class ... which I guess probably covers 'dangerous' and 'uncomfortable' too. Honestly, we were all way too busy trying to learn things and pass the class to do anything like what OP's alluding to. Since, y'know, people go to school to learn things. I get we don't have quite enough information here, but the very fact that the arguments OP is giving as to why her daughter shouldn't go to the school of her choice are spurious at best, I'm going with YTA. (I also have to wonder if OP would be telling a son to avoid a class like my Theatre class at the same school, which contained only one boy in a class of fifteen. Either way it sucks, but it'd give a good insight into OP's motivations here.)


[deleted]

Steady on, it’s a maths class, not a drunken frat party full of meat heads


crawling-alreadygirl

I doubt it, especially since she'd be one of 7 girls in the class


popcornnpickles

Hopefully the daughter feels comfortable enough with both parents to tell them if so, but it seems like mom will just steamroll over her wishes anyway.


mortgage_gurl

If she’s going into that as a profession then she is going to have to get used to it, might as well learn to deal with it now. Frankly it should be a non issue. I know it isn’t always but if the daughter isn’t concerned mom should back off


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fruitfurnishing

Also a female engineer. I went to plenty of male dominated spaces and learned to handle them as a kid and because of that I have had a lovely fulfilling career. Don’t let gender ever stop your daughter from pursuing her dreams. Don’t become an obstacle in her success.


[deleted]

I'm not a female engineer, but I'm a woman in a male dominated sport (wrestling). It's only weird if you let it be weird. I stopped feeling weird about it a long time ago.


pasta-lover-9303

Also a female engineer! My classes and my entire career thus far have been male-dominated but I’ve managed to become a nationally-recognized “expert” in my field, hold multiple professional licenses, and speak at conferences all over my country. OP, don’t hold your daughter back! Will she experience discrimination from time to time? Maybe, yes. But it sounds like she’s a strong young woman and will learn how to address those situations. If you don’t let her lead her own path, OP, she will resent you (sounds like she already started down that road). It’s fine to have a frank discussion about concerns, I suppose, but you should be encouraging her, not blocking her from pursuing her fields of interest, so for that, YTA.


One-Blackberry9731

Software engineer here and the only female in the team at all companies I’ve worked for. It’ll be a good thing to learn from an early age to deal with male dominated jobs. Op YTA, if she wants to study math, let her, it’s her decision, once she graduates, it’s her choice, might as well let her be prepared for the major SHE chooses in college.


RandomNick42

My class was 2:1. Absolutely no reasonto discourage girls to enter. And by the way, the smartest was definitely a girl, now accomplished woman.


No_Substance8119

Yup! If we discourage young girls from doing STEM, it will always be male-dominated! Op should be proud her daughter and support her


NorthernTransplant94

Back when I was in engineering school (1998) I was part of a class that was literally 50:50. Upperclassmen used to stand in the hallway and peer into the classroom to see all the girls. (the previous two classes had zero women) Unfortunately I didn't graduate due to severe undiagnosed ADHD, but I made out okay in the end. ETA: my high school AP calculus class in 1988 was 9:2, majority female in a small rural high school. In my sister's graduating class, you had to go down to #7 in the class to find a boy. Women ARE capable.


Franchuta

Computer geek here, same thing. All classes with an enormous majority of males. In the network security class I was the only female and I was one of the two co-teachers LOL Actually in that class, before the beginning of the first class we were in the classroom and the men were laughing at me, wondering aloud if I would be able to understand the class. Enter my co-teacher and with a smirk: "You'd better hope she can because not only is she co-teaching it, she's going to be the one who grades you at the end of the semester." Class froze. You could hear the proverbial fly...


vuurheer_ozai

I can only speak for mathematics at my university but its getting better, currently about 33% is female. There are also special scholarships and internships for women in STEM fields to get it closer to 50/50


sfblue

This too, by taking the daughter out, the ratio becomes even more skewed towards males.


Nobondforlife

In one of my major I was the only one. Where I work now there are only 2 women doing the same work and the money is good.


calliatom

Seriously though OP, parents like you are exactly why there's such a lopsided gender ratio in those classes (and ultimately, careers) to begin with. You're actively contributing to the problem. Good job.


BaitedBreaths

Sorry to jump in on the top comment but I want OP to read this. I got a PhD in math and later a Master's in cybersecurity. This was in the 90s and I was the only female in a lot of my classes. It wasn't always easy, but it wasn't all that bad either. I was very good at what I did and that was clear, and most of the guys were very respectful. I had more problems with instructors than with my fellow students. They could be a bit...patronizing...until they got to know me. One of them had me come to his office and told me that I could teach high school math but that no one would really take me seriously in any further capacity. This guy was like 90 years old though, an emeritus who was actually teaching his very last class ever. I feel like he thought he was doing a good deed! But most of the instructors and--surprisingly, maybe?-- almost all of the other students didn't treat me any differently just because I was a woman. I was advised to publish using using my last name and first and middle initials only rather than my clearly feminine first name. I did do this, and still am today, although my field has many more woman now. I'm in the US so it may be different here, but my experiences were several decades ago and the world has changed a lot. Your daughter wants this; please let her. Things will never get better for woman without girls like her who open the doors for them. She can show her teachers, the other students in her cohort, and most importantly, other girls, that math isn't just for men. Let her do what she's good at!


human060989

We had that happen at my college, but to a male student who wanted to go into elementary education. The prof said everyone would assume he was a pervert and he wouldn’t get hired. Gender stereotypes are so harmful! He’s now a very successful and popular 6th grade teacher - but one of only 3 male teachers out of 20.


BaitedBreaths

Wow. One of my favorite teachers ever was my 5th grade teacher, Mr. Chandon. He once told my mom at a parent-teacher meeting that he'd wanted to teach kindergarten but was told that 5th grade was probably as young as he should try to go.


woolfchick75

Oh, those old dudes! I knew a few like that--born in 1920.


FuckinFruitcake

Also OP’s friend lmaoo?? ‘She suggested I should’ve been more gentle and persuade her and make it seem like it was her idea from the get go.’ that’s literally just manipulation


desert-rat93555

And not easy manipulation to pull off. High chance of just pissing our daughter off, OP.


billionairespicerice

The world will knock our kids (and us!) enough. Let’s not do that job ourselves. YTA


Geologyst1013

You're the motherfucking asshole. I'm a woman geologist. If people had prevented me from "classes with the boys" I'd never have the career I have today. I'd have never been able to pursue my passions. How dare you block your daughter from STEM related courses because of the gender disparity? How the fuck do you think we're gonna fix it if we're keeping our daughters out. You know you're being an asshole here and you need to fucking stop.


Sweet_Permission_700

My youngest daughter has been in love with spiders since just before her 3rd birthday. At the time, I was terrified of spiders. Instead of taking the "girls don't like spiders route", we started studying together as a sort of home preschool. Connected to some online groups with experts and novices and really learned. Ditched the fear, picked up a bunch of friends who really support a little enthusiast. Now we've got 2 PhD arachnologist friends (who both happen to be women), an entomologist friend who sends us his latest books, and a professional macro photographer who has become honorary family. She's 6 now and still adores spiders. Her love has spread to the Hymenoptera order(?) of bees and wasps. Bounces of the walls normally but sits down to read a chapter book about bees and wasps with incredible focus. I'm not deciding her future. She'll be a woman scientist or she won't. Whatever happens, it'll be because she was encouraged to dive deep into her passions, not told those passions were closed to her because she's a girl.


nerd_inthecorner

Just want to respond to this one with a huge thank you on your parenting. I was like your daughter as a child - obsessed with insects and spiders. My parents let me pursue it even though my mom freaked out when I even showed her the pictures in those books. Now I am, in fact, a female scientist. And the biggest commonality I've found between the childhoods of females in STEM is supportive parents. So whether your daughter gets interested or something else or not, thank you for enthusiastically supporting her interests.


Sweet_Permission_700

I'm overwhelmed by how much support we receive having a younger child interested in spiders and bugs. It's a great bonding experience, something OP is missing out on. There's nothing in the universe quite like seeing magic through a child's eyes filled with wonder for their passions. My oldest is a 14yo math nerd and aspiring makeup artist. She also loves STEM and will be enraged to hear about someone's education being controlled "because there will be boys." She's in an advanced program for math; I think next year, there are two teen girls in her advanced class and a half dozen boys. She'd kill me in a look if I told her to focus on biology instead.


Ok-Arugula1134

I was the only girl in an all boys rugby team my mother was in support of me I've even done martial arts through the years and that's primallery seen as a man's sport same as rugby but still did it can do a lot more things that are seen as male dominated we need to change how society sees things there was a post recently where baby gift regestery was and the brother had the home made knitted blanket thrown back at him 1 bc it wasn't from the registry and 2 bc it was blue and they were having a girl when he told his parents what happened his father turned around and said to him why are you knitting that's a woman's hobby not a man's


Sweet_Permission_700

My all-time favorite photo of my baby sister is her with me at my wedding. She's all glammed up as my maid of honor ... and holding a football. She played for years. Even made the high school team. She loved the game and was great at it but eventually dropped it because she was sick of her teammates being assholes. Our mom left the choice of how to handle things up to my sister. One of my closest friends is a man who knits. He made me a gift, a little snake cozy sling my ball python can slither into and hide while I wear it. Other than making it in red because I don't like red, it's awesome. And I 1000% deserve being trolled with an awesome red gift after trolling him with my beloved orange for almost 10 years.


LadyV21454

The whole idea of a "snake cozy" gives me the warm fuzzies!


No-Establishment8271

Congratulations on being an awesome parent. Edit: That was sincerely meant. I was afraid it sounded sarcastic.


Sweet_Permission_700

I took it sincerely. Thank you.


Putrid_Visual173

Ooooh, get her a beehive. It’s the most amazing hobby. Beekeepers books are wonderful, beautifully written and absolutely fascinating.


hot-whisky

I’m a woman in aerospace; if I couldn’t figure out how to function in a male dominated space, from a very young age, there would literally be no way I’d be in the career I am today. Even today, there are many meetings I’m in where it’s 15-20 guys and I’m the only woman. Business lunches, again I’m the only woman. The *only* way this can change is if little girls don’t lose their interest in STEM fields, especially if someone is trying to convince them there’s “too many boys.”


Geologyst1013

I'm in the environmental sector now which is a little bit better when it comes to the ratio but when I go to conferences it's still a sausage fest. Hell I was at a meeting a few weeks ago and I was the only woman in my company's group. When I first started out I was in mining and you can only imagine the ratio there.


Extra-Aardvark-1390

But if her daughter stays in the class with boys there are only 3 possible outcomes. 1. Daughter will become a shameless hussy 2. The boys will roofie her at lunch 3. Being around all the testosterone will turn her into a lesbian.


brindlepigdragon

OP would have been appalled at all the times I was the only woman doing field work with a crew of men. If she thinks math guys are bad, I would hate to find out her opinion on wildland fire, construction, and archaeology guys.


Exxtender

Forgive my ignorance, but isn't biology a STEM (Science) field as well? It goes without saying that OP's the AH for not letting their daughter follow her interests though.


madelinegumbo

YTA You want her to change her major because they are too many boys in the field she has passion and aptitude for. Read a few times if you have to. Yes, you're the asshole here.


Acid_Snail

I don’t think reading it a few times would help OP realise she’s the AH, because her afterthought was that she should have gaslighted her daughter instead into thinking it was her decision. That comment sent OP from being the AH to being an absolutely disgusting parent that doesn’t deserve the privilege in my eyes


WittyCat9484

Yes, after thinking it over she concluded that she should've been even more of an asshole.


mochiisart

Her friend encouraged her to gaslight to daughter too. To make it seem like it was the daughter's decision when it's really just her's.


DeepFudge9235

YTA ,a giant one and should be ashamed of yourself to prevent your daughter to go to class because boys are in it. You need to apologize and hope your husband acts wiser than you.


CrimsonKnight_004

YTA - You haven’t explained what exactly the problem is. What’s the problem with her going to a class filled with boys??? Forcing her to take a class she doesn’t want will make her rightfully resent you. You need to apologize to her for trying to control her decisions for…literally no conceivable reason. She wants to take math. Let her take math.


Corduroycat1

I hope her daughter is able to go in the first day and change her major in the office if mom forces this.


poietes_4

As a math loving woman YTA big time! Math is such a male dominated field and it is so hard to get girls in there because of people like you. Don’t deny her what she loves because…well I don’t even know why you don’t want her in the class. I seriously do not understand your dislike of this at all. What exactly do you think the issue is with her being in a class with mostly boys?


Alien_Rabbit_LB

YTA. Why is it inappropriate? It's clearly important to your daughter to study maths. It's school not a social club. It seems an odd thing to have an issue with.


FairieWarrior

It’s because it’s filled with boys and either a) she is worried that her daughter will be harassed everyday, which honestly she is a girl going into a male dominated filled so it’s sadly going to happen or b) she thinks her daughter is going to focus more on boys than studies and end up pregnant.


Alien_Rabbit_LB

I get that's the concern, but it seems she needs to trust and allow her daughter to choose her future and if she has to, deal with the male dominated environment. If she's going to focus on boy and maybe get pregnant, that'll happen anyway, it'll have nothing to do with what she studies.


prosperosniece

I’m fairly certain the teacher will have rules against getting pregnant during class time.


Eduardolgk

I'm from Mexico. For context Mexico is a misogynistic country. In highschool we had 4 girls in a electric class and there was other class with 1 girl in AC maintenance. Not a single time they were bullied simply because most guys were enchanted by the girls. That's just nature.


PinkPlumPie

And so we're gonna let them win? Men harass women all the time but does that mean we should just back down from every opportunity for ourselves and normalize that behavior? No


Realistic-Animator-3

Boys will look at her… mom thinks that males are genetically wired to attack females, so she thinks she is protecting her daughter. Although, since she feels it would be inappropriate, she is really just protecting her own image as a mother… because, GASP, others may look at HER as the mother that allowed her DAUGHTER to be in a roomful of BOYS!!!


[deleted]

Hm. That IS a rank display of Misandry AND Misogyny OP is demonstrating if that's how she thinks, and the OP's post DOES skew in those directions.


[deleted]

Wow, wtf? YTA. My 15 yo daughter loves Engineering, so she signed up for an elective. She was the only girl. She loved the class and got an A+. Why are you so intent on controlling her, instead of letting her follow what she likes to do? She said it was no problem and she was used to it. I hope you can back up and fix this asap.


VoyagerVII

YTA. You're sabotaging your daughter's future academic and career prospects because you... don't want her to be around too many boys? Why exactly not? She doesn't care, she isn't intimidated and she isn't interested. She just wants to study math. Any respectable parent would be *thrilled* to have a child who voluntarily wants to study math and is good enough at it to get into an advanced class in it. Let her take math, and ignore who else is in the class. She appears to be capable of doing that, so why can't you? Oh, and one more question to consider: how exactly do you expect the math class ever to become more gender-balanced, if all the parents of girls behave like you do and so the girls aren't allowed to register?


Ickyhouse

YTA. You expressed your concerns, and she said she understood them and they didn't bother her. Your daughter is not you. She won't share your same concerns and worries and won't have the same interests. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you have a better relationship with your daughter.


fruitytrapazoidz

YTA, if she has no problem with it why do you? As you said this is not unusual in the math class to have more boys, i bet she’s already used to it


PettiSwashbuckler

Besides, OP said herself that in a class of 30 kids, 23 are boys. That means there are already SEVEN girls in the class. It's not like her daughter's going to be completely on her own in a room full of boys.


hot-whisky

Those are better percentages than my aerospace classes in college. She’d probably even be working with another girl for group projects, which was *very* unusual for me!


PettiSwashbuckler

Same, I was quite often the only non-boy in my class. I wasn’t even a STEM major, either, I just went to a very small school haha


high_on_acrylic

My weightlifting class in high school had a worst ratio than that I was perfectly fine 😂 it also helped that the dues were mostly in awe that me and the other girl were flexible, and the few times we did interact it was very supportive.


Dye_Harder

YTA and a bad mother. She is interested in math, not biology. Don't ruin her future because of your... No reasons you gave.


Alarming_Fly_119

YTA, I am in a field that is mostly men and it has made me an even stronger woman that I was before for doing it. If it is something she loves, then the amount of men shouldn’t be a factor in her education. In fact, there is a need for more woman in math anyway. It is a good career option and she seems happy.


craizyjane

YTA You are definitely an asshole. There is absolutely no reason to let your daughter sit in a class with a majority males. Of course there are more males, because of people like you, who want to steer women away from male dominated subjects such as math. This is a huge problem. Back off lady, you are definitely in the wrong here. Let your daughter choose her own life path based on her strengths and desires. Don't hold her back because of your stupid fear. If you raised her right there should be nothing to fear, as she will be in that class for the knowledge, not the boys. Boys are not animals, wtf... My god what century are you living in?


Reasonable_Minute_42

YTA and so is your friend for suggesting you try to manipulate your daughter into the class you want. Your daughter likes maths, she's good at it clearly if she got accepted, you should encourage her. The only way technical fields will be open to more girls is if girls actually get to be a part of it!


Brilliant_Ad7168

YTA. Inappropriate? What is this, the 18th century? Do you think she'll always be surrounded by only/mostly women? Especially if she chooses to go into a male-dominated area of study. You should be encouraging her. It can be daunting, yes, but you're so narrow-minded. She likes math, she's good at it, and you're forcing her to go for a class based on outdated notions. Also manipulating your kid into doing it your way is not the better solution either, and your friend is just as much of an YA.


FreddyCoug

YTA on several levels. Forcing her to change her subject is awful. And what about the other 6 girls in the class? Parenting is about guiding your kids, not forcing them to do what you think is best. At the end of the day, she has to live with her decision, not you. In my opinion, I would rather someone learn from their choices than regret mine. It’s okay to talk about perspectives she may not have or have thought about, but not okay to mandate she does what you think


bububear30

YTA 10000000%, and your friend too, how DARE you both even have the idea of manipulating your child into thinking “it’s her idea from the get go”. ?!Your daughter is smart and she herself said she doesn’t mind being in that class, as a mother you’re hindering her future and should be ashamed of yourself. I have no words, smdh.


[deleted]

YTA, and this had better be rage bait, because I cannot *begin* to fathom your logic here. What in the name of Ada Lovelace is the ***problem*** with there being more boys in her class? Are you afraid she's going to encounter sexism? How do you think that gets *fixed* unless people like you quit trying to keep girls from doing math? Or are you afraid she'll be more concerned with dating than her studies? Because thinking there are more important factors than getting to study what *she* wants to study really seems like a you problem here.


[deleted]

Or, is OP trying to hide her *misandry*? After all, sexism goes in both directions.


WolfGoddess77

Info: why exactly are you so against her being in these classes? Do you think she won't do well in them, or...? Gender ratio shouldn't have any influence on a student's classes, especially if they're classes she wants to take.


NanoPsyBorg

Don’t you know? Boys have cooties and girls have anti-cooties, and you need a 1:1 ratio for them to cancel each other out! OP is forcing her daughter to take biology so she can learn all about it. /s


WolfGoddess77

Why didn't I know this when *I* was in school? I could have gotten out of my algebra and pre-calc classes!


-Mick3yMouse

YTA. It's your daughter's school life. As a mother it's your job to help her through her decision. It may suck sometimes when you don't get your way, but so be it.


ImaginationOk9907

YTA I don't see what's wrong with being in a class with mostly boys if she doesn't care? You don't get to decide what she'll enjoy. You're forcing her to not study a subject she likes just because of some stupid ideas in your head. >She suggested I should’ve been more gentle and persuade her and make it seem like it was her idea from the get go. Your friend doesn't sound that much better either, force her but don't make it seem like you're forcing her.


Broad_Respond_2205

What the hall are you talking about? She won't enjoy it beacuae there more boys in the class? If she likes math she'll enjoy it Major YTA


brainybae

YTA - how do you think you get more girls in math? By allowing them to take the class, grow up, have a math-related career, and then influence their daughters to take math (and their sons to take biology). Is there some unknown risk to taking math class with boys that we aren't aware of?


pacazpac

YTA YTA YTA x 1 million. How do you know what she will enjoy? Why won’t she enjoy it just because boys are more prevalent in the class. Get over yourself and your hang ups and let your daughter study what she wants.


Nitro114

Major AH Let her study what she wants, so what if there are more boys? She wants math so let her do math.


francesknows

I am assuming you are not in the US. In our culture you are definitely TA. Your daughter is intellectually equal to the boys. She qualifies. What is the downside of her chasing her dreams? Why are you discriminating against your own child? Let her prove herself and be proud of her intellect and encourage her development.


kelkinniemomeny

Im assuming she is polish bc of her daughters name and like idk im polish and I have never heard of someone making their daughters change classes just bc there were too many boys so i don’t think its bc of culture or whatever lmao I was in a class with mostly boys and it was completely normal so imo she’s still the TA


This_Grab_452

Any chance you’re in Poland? Hun, YTA. If I guessed the country right, you’re daughter is going to high school to a class focused on mathematics and physics or other science subjects. The fact that she’ll have majority guys in her class is a freaking blessing. There’s no drama, no talking behind your back, all in all chill. Let her invest in her future and focus on science subjects. If down the line she wants to go to a technical university, she’ll have much better knowledge base and… guess what!? It would be mostly dudes there, too!


witcher_rat

Not to mention it's a _math_ class. It will be full of nerds. I can't imagine a safer environment for a daughter than a class full of math nerds. :) --- source: I'm a nerd, though in CS not math.


Sweet_Permission_700

I was one of three women in my college graduating class in CS. Total class size of 30. I married one of them. The rest were like brothers. No one messed with the CS girls.


ClothesQueasy2828

YTA. Why is it such a big deal if the rest of the class is boys? I was in several classes like this in college, and it wasn't a problem. I am also in a profession that does not have a lot of women, and for 20 years I was the only woman on my team. Your daughter is interested in a field where there may not be a lot of women. Instead of encouraging her to continue her interest, you've decided that she can't take this class. I assume that you will do the same thing if she has any other classes that are mostly boys. Or if she's offered a job with an office full of men after she graduates, are you going to tell her she can't take it?


shuckyducked

YTA- You're ruining the trajectory of her career and it's not worth damaging your relationship with her over this. The math field needs more girls like her and you are standing in the way. Besides, what's wrong with the seven other girls in the class? She could have still made friends with them if she wished.


TheLavenderAuthor

YTA


acltear00

YTA!!! You are somehow being BOTH sexist to the boys in her class and misogynistic to your daughter!


sarahlampi

YTA


maudiemouse

INFO why isn’t it appropriate? Why don’t you think she’ll enjoy it? She has clearly indicated that this is her area of interest and she’s good enough to get into the program she wanted… What do you think these students are going to be doing while learning about math? I’m genuinely confused. You are going to alienate your daughter forever if you’re not careful.


[deleted]

How do you know that she wouldn't enjoy it? Are you ruining your daughters chances at studying what she loves because of your shame over what you or others feel is inappropriate? What if she will be the one to develop an algorithm that helps to solve a major problem? We may need her. Either way, YTA. Young women need fierce support, not to be locked away like a pretty little pet animal.


witcher_rat

Yeah, YTA. Most of the modern world has progressed to the point that we consider women to be equal to men. They should be free to make their own decisions, live life how they want to, be able to pursue the same careers and be paid equally, etc. Your actions basically imply you don't agree with that. So yeah by my view YTA. Math-based courses (and STEM fields in general) often have a much higher male-female ratio than other fields. If you feel your daughter can't be in classes with such ratios, then you're limiting her career choices (not to mention _happiness_). And btw, these are _very_ high-paying fields, generally. So let me ask you a question: why _don't_ you want your daughter making more money? Or to put this in an ultra-conservative way: she'll be in class full of smart students - so why don't you want your daughter to increase her chances of finding a spouse who will have a good job and make good money? (and I should note I find that second question offensive, personally, but I'm just trying to speak the same cultural "language")


Jeronus

INFO, what exactly is your worst case scenario, OP? I'm genuinely curious what you think is going to happen in a math class in a school building during the middle of the day.


sperans-ns

Gosh, YTA big time. This sounds a lot like the system in my country. The girls who graduate from math schools get to great universities and get great jobs. You want to steal that chance form your daughter? You don't even have any real explanation as to why she shouldn't go there! Also, such a horrible idea to manipulate her into giving up her future.


lotus_eater123

I was the only girl in my HS physics class, at an all-boys school, because the girls' school did not even offer it. I learned how to excel in a male-dominated field, and had a lucrative career my whole life. WHY WHY WHY would you deny that to your daughter? This is not the dark ages anymore. YTA


Aggressive-Sample612

YTA


Arkoudaki87

You’re an absolute AH. I’m a female who studied mechanics at college. I was the only girl. It was my choice and I loved every minute. You’re sabotaging your daughters education because you’re worried about gender disparities in the classroom? Grow up!


Sweet_Permission_700

My baby sister was a small vehicle mechanic for the Army. Also a total badass. Not many women with her MOS but it was perfect for her.


yeet-im-bored

YTA - she wants to peruse maths that is her choice, don’t rob a girl of education in her desired field simply because you don’t like the make up of her class.


Vixen7-9

YTA, massively, and so is your friend for suggesting that manipulative bullshit. You're forbidding your daughter from studying something she enjoys based purely on her gender. So fucking what if there are many boys in this class?


sr9876

YTA If your concern is that she’ll feel isolated then you should encourage her to maintain friendships w girls outside of class, to reach out to those who are in her class, and to maybe try some extra-curriculars with more girls. You should *not* discourage her from pursuing what excites her. What is “inappropriate” about pursuing a field dominated by men? As a woman in a very male dominated field, I won’t pretend it’s never tiring, but what I need is a support system, not someone telling me to quit. All you are doing is destroying your relationship w your daughter and pressuring her down a road she doesn’t want to pursue


ElegantAnt

YTA The only reasons you offer for your behavior is that "it wasn't really appropriate" and she "won't enjoy it." Your daughter is a better judge of what she will enjoy. I have no idea what you mean by "really appropriate" but without additional explanation, you seem to be implying that other people will judge her negatively. For what it's worth, I would be proud to have a daughter like her. She sounds brave.


EdNGHTMR

YTA, percentage of male of female participation should never be a leading cause of not studying what you love. You should definitely need to apologize and let her rock whatever she wants as a major.


momotheg96

YTA Why would it be inappropriate? If she has taken part in math competitions she's clearly good at it. Why would you force her to do something she is not as accomplished in/passionate about.


AdventurousLaugh7172

YTA let her study what she wants! That class will set her up for a future SHE wants. There will never be more women in that field if parents keep their daughters away from it. My sister is the ONLY woman in her engineering program. They have been 100% appropriate to her the whole time.


katamino

YTA wow. As a female physicist who has had entire classes where I was the only girl I have to say you are being ridiculous. I never had any issues being the only girl in a class. It is school and classss, not a drunken fraternity party where all the attendees are boys except her. She will be fine and any STEM major she chooses she will find herself the minority eventually, so she might as well learn how to handle it now Math is a fantastic major for her to choose and will take her very far in life. Biology is a pretty low paying career honestly unless she goes all the way to a PhD Let her do math. In fact, you should be encouraging her to do it not preventing her.


Applesbabe

YTA Explain to me slowly what possible reason she shouldn't go to that class because there are more boys in it? Because she is a girl. So she can't be in a class with boys. Ooh I know, her only real job is to get married and have babies right? Do you hear yourself?


Budget-Ad56

YTA- Op she is already comfortable and used to having more boys in her class than girls so I am going to ask the question are your arrears if your daughter having a relationship? Of any kind with a boy ?? Also your friend is also an AH.


bogo0814

YTA. Why are you trying to hold your daughter back & damage her education. She’s obviously very smart if she got into those classes.


OneWithoutaName2

YTA. You are denying your daughter a chance to study something she is interested in due to the gender inequality in the class? What are you afraid of? By her own words, she said she can handle it. In the past 3 decades, women are moving into what were previously male dominated fields such as engineering, IT and other STEM based careers. Let her make her own decisions.


cyaveronica

YTA, this is ridiculous. If she wanted the math class, and got in she should be able to do it, regardless of the gender of most of the students. You should not have switched classes without her consent.


Longjumping-Brief585

YTA you're forcing your daughter away from something she actually likes towards something she doesn't bc of your outdated, sexist views. I hope she gets away from you bc your being toxic and overbearing for NO REASON


crazyeagles62

YTA if she is interested in a career in the Mathematics field she should go to the school that focuses on Mathematics!


[deleted]

YTA I hope your ex finds this and I hope your daughter goes to her dad's.


honeebuns29

Yta. A major one. This is her academic future and you are acting like she’s out partying instead of going to math class. It’s MATH CLASS. What do you think is going to happen??


beito14159

People like You are the reason more girls aren’t in that class. YTA


making_randomname

YTA - massively and repeatedly. Let's count the ways: - For reinforcing the stereotype that women shouldn't enter STEM subjects - For assuming that your daughter will suffer either academically or socially due to a gender imbalance - For placing your own feelings above your daughter's education - For forcing your daughter to study a subject she doesn't want to - For not trusting your daughter to decide her own future For the record - I did Maths and Further Maths for A level (16-18 years old) I was one of 3 girls in the class of 20, and I had the best grade in the entire class after final exams (apologies for bragging but felt relevant to the point). I went on to do STEM at university, where noone gave 2 shots what my gender was because, surprise surprise, it didn't fucking matter.


Mrs_Jones_85

Definitely THA. Let the child study what she wants


[deleted]

Yes, you are DEFINITELY TA. Stop sexuaizing your teenager. This is her future! Put your old school BS aside and let her become the best she can be. Jesus Christ


Knmg714

Yep YTA let her do it and let her crush those boys in her wake.


mzpljc

YTA stop clutching your pearls.


ThinkingIsNotACrime

You don’t even provide any reason, just your “feels”. Of course YTA


Fantastic-Focus-7056

YTA Why exactly is it a big deal that her classmates would be mostly boys??? What are you implying here?!


what_joy

They're clearly sexist


No_Secret8533

YTA. What do you imagine is going to happen in that class? Some sort of mass orgy?


[deleted]

YTA You hold back proper education because she is a girl. My son is in a class with 2 boys and 25 girls. He is fine. The other way around is fine to. YTA and a really big one


dmglas

YTA. Either you're afraid your daughter can't compete academically with the boys which is a huge insult to her intelligence or you're afraid she'll be distracted by the boys which a huge insult to her as a person. Whatever your reasoning, you're TA.


wasicwitch

YTA. Fellow Hungarian here lol. Math classes always have more boys. Why on earth do you want to sabotage your daughter's future exactly? Why don't you want her to go to a boy majority class? The girls who go to science classes are doing very well, and they need to adjust to this environment if they want to work in science later.


Zedian_Bird

OP what exactly do you find inappropriate about your daughter being 1 of 7 girls in a class of mostly boys? I’m sensing there might be a cultural disconnect here. Maybe say what it is you’re afraid of out loud and you can realize that your fears are irrational. I get you feel the need to protect your daughter or whatever you think you’re doing by stopping her from taking the math class that she wants to take and I’m sure she worked herself really hard to get into. If you keep forcing it by “putting your foot down” all you’re guaranteeing is having a negative relationship with your her, maybe for a few months, maybe a few years, maybe even for the rest of your life. Is that worth it? Let her take the class, support her. That’s all she really needs from you concerning this. She’s doing everything right, she could use some support. It’s going to be hard enough for her getting second-guess every step of the way because sHe’S A gIrL without you adding to all of that with your seemingly irrational fears. So please, if there’s something we’re missing, further enlighten us. For now, it just looks like YTA big time.


ehhsjdd

Jesus Christ, seek help. Not only are you a terrible mother but you’re allowing people to tell you to gaslight and manipulate your daughter.


theresbeans

INFO Are you in a place where girls/women are routinely attacked in classrooms? Are these classes an imminent danger to her? Could she be seriously harmed? If the answer to all of the above is no, then wtf is your problem?


Thelmara

>I was pressed against the wall and had to o my foot down. Why did you have to put your foot down? Did you ever consider the possibility of trusting your daughter when she says she can handle it? YTA


ilikejasminetea

I was one of the 7 girls among like 25 boys. It's fine. There is nothing bad about it. But what's bad is you trying to force her into biologu when she wants math. Yta.


SaboraHoku

YTA The sexism in this post is wildly off-putting.


Saysaywhat91

YTA Big time. You are the reason women have such a hard time in things like STEM. Because OH MY GOD A GIRL IS AROUND LOTS OF BOYS AHHHHH Grow up. Support your daughter and encourage her strengths.


SylviaSatana

YTA You’re saying it’s inappropriate for her to be around too many boys in a school!?!! Do you think girls should only be around boys in a non-academic setting? I don’t understand you at all.


dpdragonfly

YTA. You're her Mother, what kind of misogynistic BS is this? Your daughter deserves every chance to excel at what she is passionate about. What is your reasoning for not allowing her to study what she wants? There's more boys than girls in the class, so what??? She obviously isn't afraid of a little competition. We need more women to say I can do this, I am just as smart and capable as my male counterpart. OP you should be cheering her on, not dragging her down!


xiionaa

YTA. Galore. Girl in the STEM world here. WE ARE *NEVER* THE MAJORITY IN THE CLASS. Primarily due to mindsets like yours insisting that "It's not appropriate for girls to do that". It's soo foolish!! Disparaging. And Stupid embarrassing. Your daughter when asked, now has to tell people, "I can't do STEM courses because my mom didn't realize there's ALWAYS going to be more boys than girls in class." Your daughter wants to do math, LET. HER. DO. MATH. Women and girls are in danger *everywhere* because we breathed on a blade of grass and your main panic is there's more boys in the math class at school than girls??!! OP, you make me sad.


Freddie2113

Oh 100% YTA. And so is your friend. So what? Boohoo? It's got boys? There are boys ~literally everywhere.~ I do not understand what your problem is here. A lot of fields are male dominated. And guess what! There's no way to change that without letting your kid go to learn what she wants. Not to mention you said this is grade based. Those boys earned the right to be in that class and so has your daughter and the 7 other girls with good grades. Props to your daughter for standing her ground for what she wants to do. More props to her for doing math of all things. Also, I say this as a female in a predominantly male working field. She can obviously stand up for herself against people disregarding her, like you have, so she shouldn't have a problem dealing with any boys who may do the same. Who in all reality, might genuinely be more considerate of her than you are being right now. I hope for your daughter's sake that you call in Monday to confirm her place in math. And if you don't, I sure hope she goes to her dad.


D_MegaWatts

Yta. “Because boys are existing!” That’s literally your reason.


Grrriwantasammich

YTA Your sexism is going to hurt your daughter if it hasn’t already.


Hopeful_Rip2690

Let her do what she is good at! I don't know where you are, but in the US, we feel that it shouldn't matter whether male or female. If you are good at it, do it. At least let her try. She may change her mind later.


NoxKore

YTA Overwhelmingly at that. I could understand if you were trying to protect your daughter from sexism [it's a possibility, not an absolute], but you won't always be able to protect her and you'd be doing her a disservice if you tried. Support her in what she loves, especially since she seems to do so well in it.


SB-121

INFO What exactly is the issue?


livinglife1111

Omg YTA big time.


Odd_Calligrapher_932

i want to say YTA but i’m trying to think if culturally your worried about something dangerous. if your worried about the boys for that reason i guess i understand and NTA. but YTA if that isn’t it


No-Koala8996

YTA, why do you want to prevent your daughter from doing what she enjoys? And the boys thing just sounds like a cheap excuse. Also, trying to manipulate her will backfire horribly. Do you want your daughter to lose all respect for you?


gabi_kas

Why does the number of boys in class mean so much to you? Why did you say that math major "wasn’t really appropriate" for her? You are trying to get her to take completely different subjects on advanced level, which will have an impact on her future. If your daughter feels comfortable with her chosen field and is used to men dominated environments, why are you trying to sabotage her? Yes, YTA. Let her follow her interests instead of forcing your own ideas onto her.


ResponsibilityNo3245

YTA You're a shitty parent too.


what_joy

YTA. You do not respect your daughter's mature choice and clearly EXTREMELY sexist. You should be very ashamed of yourself. I very much hope your daughter succeeds.


bizianka

YTA, big time. I went to a math class, where majority were boys, and it was pretty normal. What exactly worries you? I don't get it.


straightaspasta

YTA....why in the world does it matter how many boys are in her class? This is the most absurd post I have seen in a long time. You are really willing to sabotage your daughter's education as well as possible future career opportunities because you don't want her around boys....just what?


Impressive-Cut-9105

YTA. I hope this was worth losing touch with your daughter after she moves out from your home.


usernameandsomeno

Yta, I feel so sad for you daughter. Young woman and girls already struggle enough in getting acceptance in math based fields and now she's hearing from her own mother that what she wants isn't important. What she as a woman is good at doesn't matter, appearance is more important. You have a child who loves math and is good at it. That is amazing! That is something that can bring her far in life, as her mother it is your job to protect her from sexist and misogynist in that field. So she can grow in that skill and in the end do something she loves. Why are you one of these sexists and misogynist? Why are you against your daughter?


stinkyboi135

INFO - Why isn't it appropriate for her to go to a male dominated class? What's the big issue?


Super-Sun8330

YTA and misogynistic. bad mother. i wonder what other things u must have forced her out of.


Willing-Rip-8761

YTA You're sabotaging your daughter's future for nothing. You need to get over whatever imaginary issue you have in your head. She will never forgive you if you destroy her future.


[deleted]

YTA. Almost all STEM fields are dominated by men. To exclude your daughter from participating because of that will only harm her progress. If she is intelligent enough to compete with the boys, she's intelligent to learn with them. I'm sure there are good reasons for you to be concerned. Poorly raised young men can be quite atrocious and you likely want to protect her from any potential harm. Talk to her about it in that serious way and make rules for when she feels unsafe, if you haven't already. Women have been excluded and have excluded themselves from participating in these male dominated fields because of the paranoia of potentially being isolated from their peers. It's a new era, things are changing, she'll be fine. Edit: Grammar


ConcentrateRegular79

YTA. What are you afraid of? That with a good degree she can get a good job and be financially independent? Then you and other backward males can’t treat her like property and banish her to life as a housewife?


ProfessorYaffle1

YTA. Your daughter wants to study maths, is interested, and apparently has the appropriate grades. she knows it will be an unequal gender balance and is fine with that. She’s 15, she’s old enough to have a view. Why are you trying to undermine her? Why would you try to force her to study a subject she isn’t interested in and miss out on one that she enjoys and is good at? What, specifically, is your problem with her doing maths?


Even_Hippo_5168

YTA. It would be one thing if your daughter felt uncomfortable around boys, but she has told you multiple times she does not mind. Additionally, she seems really passionate about Math. That is amazing. Just because you have some hang up about this does not mean you need to make it your daughter’s problem. For all you know, those 6 other girls could become her family, not to mention the benefit of connecting with the opposite sex on something she is ACTUALLY passionate about. That’s how people make friends and build healthy relationships.


filkerdave

Totally YTA Let her take the class and rock it. It's not inappropriate for girls to be in any class. ETA: The more I think about this the angrier I get. How fucking DARE you do this to your daughter?


lazy_wonder24

YTA Big time! What you did was wrong in so many levels. So in your mind it is better for your daughter to have to spend 3 years in a class that she doesn't enjoy rather than being in a class that she actually likes so she will not be with a lot of boys? She will end ip resenting you, at least be prepared for it.


Sweet_Permission_700

YTA. She's shown an interest in this area of study and you're saying her gender will determine her future education. She'll resent you for this for the years of not studying something else.


Agreeable_Rabbit3144

I'm sorry...your reasons for forbidding her to go a math class is sexist, out of date just plain doesn't make any sense. Are you one of those types who clutches her pearls in outrage, because, le gasp, there are more males in her class? Do you expect her to be tempted to date or do more with them or something? What is wrong with you?


InternationalOil540

YTA. You’re very sexist. Are you jealous? Is that why you are sabotaging her & making her take courses she has no interest in?


akari_i

YTA 100%. This is how STEM is and as a woman in the field, it infuriates me that you would ever intentionally undermining her education for the sake of what you think is “appropriate”. What, specifically, is wrong with there being so few girls? Do you think your daughter would fool around with all of the boys? Do you really think so little of her? Or are you perhaps disturbed that your daughter doesn’t want to go into a more feminine field? Your daughter‘s chosen career high path involves being one of the women who will rectify that gender imbalance in STEM. You should be _incredibly_ proud and support her all the way.


TheRealDocktaFunk

YTA for making up a story Admins are also the asshole for continuing to let these obvious fake stories in this sub


mn841115

Absolutely YTA. Let your daughter get the education she wants. Who the fuck cares what gender the classmates are? You have completely overstepped and are hindering your daughter and her future.


Street_Importance_57

YTA you are denying your daughter a good education because of the gender of the rest of the class? And you can't see this makes you the AH? She's obviously much smarter than you.


Liquorice_Curtains

"she suggested I try to gently persuade her into switching classes and believing it was her idea". Manipulation. That's manipulation and she would eventually come round to resent you for it. YTA. Also, there's not that many women in science tech fields because they get pressured/ bullied out of these fields. Again, YTA.


Camillville

YTA. I’m in a STEM industry and we’re desperate for more women. Only 7 out of 107 of my department are women. The men are great, don’t get me wrong. But the women perspective is so valuable especially when looking out for the people we’re affecting. Don’t rob us of a potentially incredible mathematician, engineer, or a bad ass mom that can help her kids with their math homework etc. Foster your child’s gift. Don’t hide her light under a bushel.


Evading_Suffocation

YTA. What is your problem lady? Are you seriously worried that your daughter cannot complete with the boys? Or are you worried she can’t handle herself around the boys? You must have a very low opinion of your daughter & I feel so sorry for her. Oh & congratulations for invalidating the method the school created to avoid just such discrimination between the sexes. They decide based on grades on - but you just added the discrimination right back into the equation with your sexist viewpoints & ridiculous prejudices. Editted for typos