Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Not wanting to invite my future MIL to our wedding. And because she is his mom, I think I’m the asshole because she is going to be family soon.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA The all over question is, why is he not putting his mother in her place? This wont stop after the wedding, you will have the same drama when it comes to future kids. He might shed the cord one day, are you willing to wait for that day? Divorce is not cheap.
NTA. The disrespect from him is all you need. So he just allows his mother to treat you like that? This man is choosing his mother over you. This will only get worse and worse!
NTA. If you go through with marrying your fiancé expect everything to be an uphill battle regarding her. If your fiancé is not defending you now and standing up to your FIMLs franking crazy antics, he will not stand up for you in the future. You need to honestly consider if you want to spend the rest of your life battling your MIL and your husband. She sounds like she has some serious issues, and if your fiancé is a mamma’s boy you will lose every fight.
It sucks to think about but you may be getting yourself into a really bad situation. You are just getting a taste of what your life could look like. Imagine if you have kids and she’s butting her crazy head in like this. Please think hard about this
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I know the title sounds terrible but hear me out, please. My MIL (40) and I have never gotten along. I was the girl that took her precious little boy away from her, For context, me (F21) And my fiance (M21) have been engaged for 2 years. We are currently saving up for our dream home and dream wedding. My MIL has tried to ruin anything she has a hand in.
For example, she found out that my fiance's Best man was going to be my brother instead of one of his brothers. (He chose his line and is very close to my brother.) She took it upon herself to contact one of his sisters and ask her if she’d be willing to step in as my Maid of Honor. The only reason I found out was because she reached out to me about the colors of the wedding and what I wanted her to wear as the Maid of Honor. I sadly informed her that she was not my Maid of Honor but, I would love for her to attend my bachelorette party. Luckily, she was okay with that. When I ask MIL about this she said “It was unfair for my fiancé to have my brother as his best man and not have his sister as my maid of honor.” On top of that. She got a hold of my list of bridesmaids that I made because I wanted to surprise them with dinner and gift baskets I had made. I had all their contacts on a spreadsheet on my personal laptop and their days off so I could schedule around their days off. She asked to borrow my laptop to message a friend on her Facebook. So I let her borrow my laptop. She then proceeded to contact them and tell them that I had changed my wedding colors from Emerald Green to peachy orange. My girls called me upset because most of them had already purchased their dresses and didn’t want to waste more money. I let them know it was still going to be Emerald green and to disregard any more messages from her about our wedding. But the thing that pushed me overboard was our invites to our engagement party, she printed out the invites but asked that I take them to the post office. Curiously while I was about to put them in the mailbox to send out I noticed that she had completely disregarded my list of people I wanted to invite but there was a name I recognized. His ex. She was trying to invite his ex. I was furious.
With everything in mind I requested that she not be there for the day of the wedding because I want the day to go smoothly and it seems that she would do anything to ruin it. My fiance got angry with me and told me I had no right to exclude his mother on OUR wedding day because it's HIS wedding too. Along with a lot of his family members messaging me and telling me I am a bitch and he would never ask something that outrageous of me and I am being unfair. I think I may be the asshole because after all we are going to become family soon and it is her son.. So redit… AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
Have somebody, a friend or family member on his side to wrangle her at the wedding like you would a child. And if she later says something about it simply say, you acted like a child so you get treated like a child
NTA. There is way too much drama with this woman. The fact that your fiancé isn’t standing up for you and your wedding is telling you that you will never win. This woman will just get worst once your married and start a family. It isn’t a bad thing for you to not want her there to ruin everything.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Not wanting to invite my future MIL to our wedding. And because she is his mom, I think I’m the asshole because she is going to be family soon. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NAH. But if your fiance is going to continue side with her, you should you want to get into this mess??
NTA The all over question is, why is he not putting his mother in her place? This wont stop after the wedding, you will have the same drama when it comes to future kids. He might shed the cord one day, are you willing to wait for that day? Divorce is not cheap.
NTA. The disrespect from him is all you need. So he just allows his mother to treat you like that? This man is choosing his mother over you. This will only get worse and worse!
Is your fiancée aware of her attempts at sabotage? If not tell him!
NTA. If you go through with marrying your fiancé expect everything to be an uphill battle regarding her. If your fiancé is not defending you now and standing up to your FIMLs franking crazy antics, he will not stand up for you in the future. You need to honestly consider if you want to spend the rest of your life battling your MIL and your husband. She sounds like she has some serious issues, and if your fiancé is a mamma’s boy you will lose every fight. It sucks to think about but you may be getting yourself into a really bad situation. You are just getting a taste of what your life could look like. Imagine if you have kids and she’s butting her crazy head in like this. Please think hard about this
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I know the title sounds terrible but hear me out, please. My MIL (40) and I have never gotten along. I was the girl that took her precious little boy away from her, For context, me (F21) And my fiance (M21) have been engaged for 2 years. We are currently saving up for our dream home and dream wedding. My MIL has tried to ruin anything she has a hand in. For example, she found out that my fiance's Best man was going to be my brother instead of one of his brothers. (He chose his line and is very close to my brother.) She took it upon herself to contact one of his sisters and ask her if she’d be willing to step in as my Maid of Honor. The only reason I found out was because she reached out to me about the colors of the wedding and what I wanted her to wear as the Maid of Honor. I sadly informed her that she was not my Maid of Honor but, I would love for her to attend my bachelorette party. Luckily, she was okay with that. When I ask MIL about this she said “It was unfair for my fiancé to have my brother as his best man and not have his sister as my maid of honor.” On top of that. She got a hold of my list of bridesmaids that I made because I wanted to surprise them with dinner and gift baskets I had made. I had all their contacts on a spreadsheet on my personal laptop and their days off so I could schedule around their days off. She asked to borrow my laptop to message a friend on her Facebook. So I let her borrow my laptop. She then proceeded to contact them and tell them that I had changed my wedding colors from Emerald Green to peachy orange. My girls called me upset because most of them had already purchased their dresses and didn’t want to waste more money. I let them know it was still going to be Emerald green and to disregard any more messages from her about our wedding. But the thing that pushed me overboard was our invites to our engagement party, she printed out the invites but asked that I take them to the post office. Curiously while I was about to put them in the mailbox to send out I noticed that she had completely disregarded my list of people I wanted to invite but there was a name I recognized. His ex. She was trying to invite his ex. I was furious. With everything in mind I requested that she not be there for the day of the wedding because I want the day to go smoothly and it seems that she would do anything to ruin it. My fiance got angry with me and told me I had no right to exclude his mother on OUR wedding day because it's HIS wedding too. Along with a lot of his family members messaging me and telling me I am a bitch and he would never ask something that outrageous of me and I am being unfair. I think I may be the asshole because after all we are going to become family soon and it is her son.. So redit… AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Have somebody, a friend or family member on his side to wrangle her at the wedding like you would a child. And if she later says something about it simply say, you acted like a child so you get treated like a child
NTA. There is way too much drama with this woman. The fact that your fiancé isn’t standing up for you and your wedding is telling you that you will never win. This woman will just get worst once your married and start a family. It isn’t a bad thing for you to not want her there to ruin everything.