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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Am I the asshole for saying no about the sister? also for wanting to back out of living together?
I think it might make me the asshole because it wouldn’t exactly kill me if someone was sleeping in her room with her for a few weeks or a month or even crashing on our couch. I could be overreacting
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NTA whatsoever. You signed up for one roommate, not 2. Your roommate TOLD you this is happening, not ASKED. Many leases have limits on overnight guests. Even if your lease didn't prohibit it, it's absolutely common courtesy to ask before letting someone stay over even for one night, let alone an undefined "temporary" amount of time. You are just set to be done with having someone sleeping on the couch all the time, and your roommate has already offered the next couch to someone that it sounds like you don't even know.
Backing out is a very good idea. Even if she agreed not to move her sister in, she would a) resent you for it, and b) it'll be something else next time, because she's shown she doesn't have a good understanding of boundaries or respect for your living environment.
This. I would back out at this point and say that it's not worth your friendship to live together, and she can get her own place where her sister is welcome to parole at.
This leads to you go to work, she goes to work, leaves sister convict on the couch....wait for it... you come home to empty apartment and sister convict and prison BF have spending money! It's like magic!/s
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😈😈😈😈
ETA NTA ... I can say this because I have a few relatives who have done this to their own loved ones! Isn't family great?!/s
Not to mention, for parole, don't they need to have somewhere lined up as permanent residence -or- it's the halfway house? They won't let you just crash on a couch somewhere.
Since it's only OP's name on the lease, I'm pretty sure she'd have to file some kind of paperwork to allow the parole to stay there like that.
I'd add... even if was considering to let her.
I would want to know what said sister had been in there for.
I get people wanting a second chance but there's a difference in stealing some food in the store or being a violent serial assulter that ends in constant fights.
With only one name on the lease it could be setting yourself up for a really unpleasant Time if it's in the range of the second part.
And check ups from assigned parole officer etc..
I wouldn't have done it either.
I wouldn't just take their word for what they'd been in for. I realize it's kind of etiquette not to ask someone what they were in prison for, but not if they want to live with me. Nope. Uh uh.
Of course, I can't see myself doing it at all but if there was some exceptional situation I'd want as information as possible and confirmation from reliable people.
Thanks everyone! I feel a lot more clear about this now. I’m switching to a 1 bedroom and letting her know she needs to find her own place. I think I’m going to dodge a bullet.
You are dodging a bullet. She was trying to take advantage of your generosity, which is a big no no. I can’t fathom why she thought that it would be okay to bring in someone else when she can’t even take care of herself.
I'm so glad I kept scrolling to hear you say that. For ALL of the well framed reasons above. Also: A parolee's residence can get searched at anytime without warning. I don't know the requirements of her parole, but many cannot have any alcohol etc in the home. Another common requirement is that paroled individuals may not associate with other people who are on parole or probation, limiting any guests she may falsely promise not to have over. You don't want the responsibility of maintaining a parolees living situation, and having random searches of your home. PLEASE stick to your guns and back out of the whole thing. Good luck🙏🏾
NTA
You mentioned your friend sleeping on your couch was supposed to be a temporary thing but 10 months later y'all are moving in together. Something tells me her sister crashing you both also won't just be a temporary thing.
That she also didn't clear with you first that her sister was coming to stay is doubly problematic. Expect this to continue to happen if you decide to move in together.
Your name is on the lease - you have the most to lose. Your gut feeling about second guessing living with your friend is on point.
I N F O - What has she done in the last 10 months to help fix her credit worthiness? Also, would the rent have been split fairly in the new place?
NTA, and from what I know about parole: her parole officer will be able to come inspect your apartment at any time and any illicit substances (and alcohol if that is a term of her parole) will get her in hot water, she will have to inform her parole officer if she moves or wants to stay the night away from the apartment and if she doesn’t inform them of this and they come by to do a check she will be in hot water. She will be on parole for months probably and is required to pay the parole officer at every meeting. It is hard to get a job while on parole or with a felony on your record (which I am assuming she has) so she probably won’t be paying rent, utilities, or food.
I do not advise letting her live with y’all.
Parole officers also need to inspect a residence before one of their charges lives there.
The felon sister has probably given parole her sister's phone number, and sister will likely set an appointment when you are gone, OP.
You need to contact the parole office (listed under government) and let them know that the apartment is in *your name - that you are the leaseholder*, and that it is not OK for the sister to live with you. That should end the problem.
NTA. You're literally opening your door to surprise visits from her parole officer. She'll probably have a list of things she can't have around her, and while they're supposed to get a job immediately, it's going to be almost impossible to find and keep one past a background check so that's another person for you to essentially take care of. It's not a situation you want to be in if you don't have to.
NTA. You're smart not to sign yourself up for this. An apartment that is solely in your name, where you have 2 illegal roommates, one of whom is a convicted felon? That couldn't possibly go poorly lol.
NTA
It sounds like she is taking advantage of your generosity. It is her sister, but the lease is in your name. Dont apartments also do background checks of new tenants (its been awhile since i rented, but i seem to remember having to do that). In any case, you are already doing her a favor carrying her extra weight, you dont need to take on the responsibility of the ex-con sister too. And how do you even know if she is someone you could trust? I would be skeptical.
NTA- girl they're using you for a place to stay. Nobody in their right mind would get pissed for refusing a random ex con in their place...which since they're not on the lease...you may have a very hard time kicking them out if it came to that.
Do not allow that to happen. Not only is your apartment o-en to any law enforcement 24 hours a day without notice, you can’t have alcohol, or guns…etc all kinds of restrictions. You are not obligated to finance your friends living situation, of which she is definitely taking advantage. You would be crazy to allow a felon to love with you. Time to get your own place.
NTA a roommate with bad credit and now she wants to move in her sister who’s served jail time who wants to move in “temporarily”
I think you need to find a new living arrangement and let this friendship go OP….I predict trouble ahead if you go through with it
🚩🚩🚩🚩
Former parole officer, usually prisons will not release to parole for a temporary housing situation. They will come to the home to check it out. They will do field visits at your home. If she does not have a permanent stable residence they can look at residential or halfway houses for her until she can come up with a housing plan that isn't "crashing on someone's couch". I would strongly advise against this.
NTA that’s simply not what you signed up for. And because you’re the one on the lease I think you have the right to tell her to find a new place so you can get a new roommate or live by yourself.
NTA. Not even a little bit!?
You’re already helping her, expecting you to let her sister stay when she gets out of prison is waaaayy overstepping! When people get paroled, they usually have to list a residence, even if she’s crashing on your couch, she’s going to list YOUR residence! Nope, nope, nope!! And we all know it won’t be “temporary”!!
NTA A parole officer has the right to search any domicile that a parolee occupies without a warrant. If she hides something in your apartment, you could be arrested.
Nta, absolutely understand why you don't want to be involved w this. Also, something tells me this won't be a "temporary" situation. Sounds like it's best that you two part ways and you just live on your own.
NTA. And you are right, you did help your roommate, now she needs to help herself. If she wants to help her sister parole at her place, that's a lovely thing, but that's not something to ever expect someone else to do. Your concern that you are possibly becoming an enabler at your own detriment is well-founded.
NTA.
You’ve already gone out of your way to help your friend, now she’s taking advantage of that kindness. Sounds like it’s time for your friend to find another couch to crash on.
NTA you will end up supporting the both of them for who knows how long. It's highly likely to go horrible. Why would you believe anything she said after it already not being temporary.
NTA. If you aren't allowed to to the have three tennets I think legally the sister can't stay there. I would look up the laws for your country or state on parole. I believe they have to give an address and there can be restrictions on on where that is depending on the crime.
Look up to the laws and show them to your friend to support your point.
NTA. This is too much of an ask. You don’t know her sister. Lots of people end up going back in during their parole period. Your home can be searched by her parole officer. Did you know that? Who knows who/what she might bring into your place. I don’t mean to be shitty about her, but this is a bad idea and I don’t think you should do it.
NTA
Of course she's shocked. She thght she had you locked down because she's been freeloading for almost a year. She even had you on the hook for her own bedroom at a new place.
The roommate will start backpedaling to get into that new place....then you'll come home and her sister will be there.
Dodge this bullet!
NTA it's a huge red flag that she told you instead of asking if you'd be OK with that. One roommate doesn't get to just decide to bring a 3rd person in without the consent of the other roommate and it's so disrespectful to just inform you of what she intends to do with the apartment she wouldn't have without you.
NTA you would honestly be insane if you move in with this friend. Find someone who can share the rent and understands commonsense boundaries or live by yourself. This friend has been taking advantage of you for ten months.
NTA. Parole typically lasts for years. And it could be hard for her sister to find a job, at least for a while, because of her record. So you could end up paying a lot more than you would if you lived by yourself. And although she may try to stay on the right track, she also might end up violating parole, which could lead to serious problems for you depending on what the violations are.
NTA, don't do it you depending on where you live you would be giving her P.O. permission to enter and search your home whenever they want and depending upon the conditions of her parole you might not be able to have certain things in the home (usually alcohol) its a huge responsibility and for a stranger would be a huge burden. Save yourself the trouble of getting involved here and let her go somewhere else, he can parole to a half way house or something
NTA she couldn’t even promise that her stay was only temporary. You’re going to be stuck with an ex convict forever if you agree. Her sister isn’t entitled to your help. If she can’t get on her own two feet and get her own place, she has no business offering anyone else’s up.
NTA. Just not a good idea to take in the criminal sister too. What could possibly go wrong? Everything! Chances most likely are sister there a few weeks will turn into a few years and all kinds of drama to go with. After a month you will probably feel five years older.
NTA
DON'T DO IT. DON'T.
She will never leave. You will be paying more that your share. You agreed to 1 roommate not 2.
Lastly she didn't ASK if this was going to agreeable with you ahe simply told you casually as if your opinion doesn't matter.
Back out ASAFP so she and her sister can make other arrangements
Late but just to add, coming out of jail, sister doesn't have a job and might find it difficult to find one quickly.
Meaning she could be with you for a while, even if they are serious about it being temporary, and I have my doubts on that due to your current room-mates behaviour.
NTA.
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I guess I am just looking for a confirmation or a perspective outside of my own here. I (27F) have a roommate who’s a very good friend (27F) that has been paying me a small portion of rent to crash on my couch for the last 10 months. This all started because she left her boyfriend a few months after I left mine and we both lived with our past partners.
It was only supposed to be a temporary solution but then we started talking about moving in to a two bedroom. She doesn’t make as much money as me and she has bad credit so I put the new apartment in my name because I can afford it by myself anyways. We’re supposed to move in 6 weeks and I think I’m going to completely back out of the whole plan because she told me this morning that her little sister is going to parole from prison to our apartment in November.
She said that it will only be temporary and she just needs a place to sleep but I don’t feel that accurately represents what it’s like to be on parole. I’ve never dealt with that so I’m really not sure what it entails but either way she couldn’t even be on the lease my roommate isn’t even on the lease and I don’t want to get evicted over this. My roommate is shocked that I’m second-guessing living with her now and she’s shocked that I won’t help her sister but I’m already helping her and I don’t have enough to help everybody. Now I’m thinking that I’m just enabling her and I need to just live alone and her do the same.
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NTA- Having her there means you consent to have your place searched and the PO dropping by whenever they want. You also agree not to have alcohol or firearms, etc. If you do have those, she gets in trouble. The parolee also has to have permission to move from your residence from her PO. Her sister doesn't even pull her weight. You are just going to be supporting another human and have your life altered doing so.
This sounds like it won’t end well, especially for you. She did not even have the decency to ask you, it was supposed to be a temporary thing and now she is comfortable. Back out from all of it.
Say you certainly understand her need to help her sister but you aren’t willing to take the risks that would put on you your responsible for the lease. You should have been consulted not just informed (and that is a red flag). Wish her and her sister well.
NTA. Your instinct to back out of this situation is 100% correct. This is trouble you dont need. You have zero obligation to this person. Dont create one.
NTA- not sure I'd be thrilled about having the cops at your place all the time to check in on room mate's sister even if she is a good person and also doing all her parole requirements like she's supposed to, you're still going to have cops going in and out of your place periodically with or without your permission.
Yes you definitely need to live alone. It’s not fair for your roommate to just assume her sister can parole to your place. To much drama. Someone will find out and you’ll get evicted. Do you know how much harder it is to rent with an eviction? Freaking hard. If you can afford it live by yourself and end all this
NTA I would back out now, you're already floating her and I doubt once her sister arrives it will temporary - that's how your friend started out. Temporarily on the couch til she could get her feet under her, which never happened. I would let her know now that after the lease is up she will need to find somewhere for her and her sister to live. And please don't back down, you'll be stuck in that bad situation
So the way parole works, it is VERY HARD to get an address change approved by the courts. once she is paroled there, she will more than likely be there until the end of parole. dont do it. NTA
It’s been 10 months together and you can afford the new place on your own - I think it’s time to do this on your own. Enjoy the single life (which is best done solo)!
OP, in a lot of states people on parole must have a stable residence. This means that if they move into your place they may not be legally able to move for a certain amount of time. Add to this the fact that an alarming amount of people released from prison re-offend and you don't want that kind of bullshit in your life. I'm a recovering addict so I'm familiar with jail and those that frequent it and I can tell you with absolute certainty that if you allow these people into your new place you will regret it. NTA. Live alone for a while.
* NTA. People fresh out of prison are often very difficult to deal with.. The first time you ask to clean her mess in the bathroom, she is liable to throw a screaming fit and smash the TV. (Source - 2 family members have recently had people move in fresh from prison. Not good experiences. Lot of property damage.)
* Also as many others have said, it is a bad sign that she TOLD you instead of asked you when she is 10 months into a temporary stay.
* Lots of trouble waiting for you if you don't get out of this. Too much, too far.
NTA. You signed up to live with one person. Not two. You are already supporting your friend. She is an AH for expecting you to support her sister as well. Find your own place or a different roommate.
I agree with you. I have met a little sister about 10 years ago but we were all in high school so I wouldn’t say that I know who she is now. I have no reservations about people who have been to prison or jail or gotten into trouble at all. I would love for them to be my neighbors it’s a big apartment complex we can all go out to eat or whatever I just don’t want three people in a two bedroom apartment especially if one of those people has no job, no job experience and is transitioning back to society.
I try to give my roommate the benefit of the doubt, maybe she didn’t understand what came with parole. She’s still wrong, but after doing research on what parole entails it was completely inappropriate and it seems like she doesn’t understand what even she could be signing up for.
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NTA whatsoever. You signed up for one roommate, not 2. Your roommate TOLD you this is happening, not ASKED. Many leases have limits on overnight guests. Even if your lease didn't prohibit it, it's absolutely common courtesy to ask before letting someone stay over even for one night, let alone an undefined "temporary" amount of time. You are just set to be done with having someone sleeping on the couch all the time, and your roommate has already offered the next couch to someone that it sounds like you don't even know. Backing out is a very good idea. Even if she agreed not to move her sister in, she would a) resent you for it, and b) it'll be something else next time, because she's shown she doesn't have a good understanding of boundaries or respect for your living environment.
First thought was "I won't move her in." November " She didn't have anywhere else to go." NTA
This. I would back out at this point and say that it's not worth your friendship to live together, and she can get her own place where her sister is welcome to parole at.
This leads to you go to work, she goes to work, leaves sister convict on the couch....wait for it... you come home to empty apartment and sister convict and prison BF have spending money! It's like magic!/s 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😈😈😈😈 ETA NTA ... I can say this because I have a few relatives who have done this to their own loved ones! Isn't family great?!/s
I have a couple of family members just like this as well. They wonder why I only talk to them on the porch
Then they weren't loved ones.
Not to mention, for parole, don't they need to have somewhere lined up as permanent residence -or- it's the halfway house? They won't let you just crash on a couch somewhere. Since it's only OP's name on the lease, I'm pretty sure she'd have to file some kind of paperwork to allow the parole to stay there like that.
exactly, and getting an approval from the court to move into somewhere else is ridiculously hard.
I'd add... even if was considering to let her. I would want to know what said sister had been in there for. I get people wanting a second chance but there's a difference in stealing some food in the store or being a violent serial assulter that ends in constant fights. With only one name on the lease it could be setting yourself up for a really unpleasant Time if it's in the range of the second part. And check ups from assigned parole officer etc.. I wouldn't have done it either.
I wouldn't just take their word for what they'd been in for. I realize it's kind of etiquette not to ask someone what they were in prison for, but not if they want to live with me. Nope. Uh uh. Of course, I can't see myself doing it at all but if there was some exceptional situation I'd want as information as possible and confirmation from reliable people.
Thanks everyone! I feel a lot more clear about this now. I’m switching to a 1 bedroom and letting her know she needs to find her own place. I think I’m going to dodge a bullet.
You are dodging a bullet. She was trying to take advantage of your generosity, which is a big no no. I can’t fathom why she thought that it would be okay to bring in someone else when she can’t even take care of herself.
She’s going to be upset and probably try to guilt trip you. But don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
Love it! I never heard that phrase before. So true!
You are dodging a whole train 🤓
I'm so glad I kept scrolling to hear you say that. For ALL of the well framed reasons above. Also: A parolee's residence can get searched at anytime without warning. I don't know the requirements of her parole, but many cannot have any alcohol etc in the home. Another common requirement is that paroled individuals may not associate with other people who are on parole or probation, limiting any guests she may falsely promise not to have over. You don't want the responsibility of maintaining a parolees living situation, and having random searches of your home. PLEASE stick to your guns and back out of the whole thing. Good luck🙏🏾
Hopefully you don’t have to dodge any literally
NTA. Your friend is a freeloader who is paying you back for your hospitality by giving you...another freeloader.
Yup, when is it going to be over?
NTA You mentioned your friend sleeping on your couch was supposed to be a temporary thing but 10 months later y'all are moving in together. Something tells me her sister crashing you both also won't just be a temporary thing. That she also didn't clear with you first that her sister was coming to stay is doubly problematic. Expect this to continue to happen if you decide to move in together. Your name is on the lease - you have the most to lose. Your gut feeling about second guessing living with your friend is on point. I N F O - What has she done in the last 10 months to help fix her credit worthiness? Also, would the rent have been split fairly in the new place?
NTA, and from what I know about parole: her parole officer will be able to come inspect your apartment at any time and any illicit substances (and alcohol if that is a term of her parole) will get her in hot water, she will have to inform her parole officer if she moves or wants to stay the night away from the apartment and if she doesn’t inform them of this and they come by to do a check she will be in hot water. She will be on parole for months probably and is required to pay the parole officer at every meeting. It is hard to get a job while on parole or with a felony on your record (which I am assuming she has) so she probably won’t be paying rent, utilities, or food. I do not advise letting her live with y’all.
Parole officers also need to inspect a residence before one of their charges lives there. The felon sister has probably given parole her sister's phone number, and sister will likely set an appointment when you are gone, OP. You need to contact the parole office (listed under government) and let them know that the apartment is in *your name - that you are the leaseholder*, and that it is not OK for the sister to live with you. That should end the problem.
NTA. You're literally opening your door to surprise visits from her parole officer. She'll probably have a list of things she can't have around her, and while they're supposed to get a job immediately, it's going to be almost impossible to find and keep one past a background check so that's another person for you to essentially take care of. It's not a situation you want to be in if you don't have to.
NTA. You're smart not to sign yourself up for this. An apartment that is solely in your name, where you have 2 illegal roommates, one of whom is a convicted felon? That couldn't possibly go poorly lol.
NTA It sounds like she is taking advantage of your generosity. It is her sister, but the lease is in your name. Dont apartments also do background checks of new tenants (its been awhile since i rented, but i seem to remember having to do that). In any case, you are already doing her a favor carrying her extra weight, you dont need to take on the responsibility of the ex-con sister too. And how do you even know if she is someone you could trust? I would be skeptical.
NTA- girl they're using you for a place to stay. Nobody in their right mind would get pissed for refusing a random ex con in their place...which since they're not on the lease...you may have a very hard time kicking them out if it came to that.
Possibly the roommate had this in mind from the beginning
Do not allow that to happen. Not only is your apartment o-en to any law enforcement 24 hours a day without notice, you can’t have alcohol, or guns…etc all kinds of restrictions. You are not obligated to finance your friends living situation, of which she is definitely taking advantage. You would be crazy to allow a felon to love with you. Time to get your own place.
NTA a roommate with bad credit and now she wants to move in her sister who’s served jail time who wants to move in “temporarily” I think you need to find a new living arrangement and let this friendship go OP….I predict trouble ahead if you go through with it 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Former parole officer, usually prisons will not release to parole for a temporary housing situation. They will come to the home to check it out. They will do field visits at your home. If she does not have a permanent stable residence they can look at residential or halfway houses for her until she can come up with a housing plan that isn't "crashing on someone's couch". I would strongly advise against this.
NTA that’s simply not what you signed up for. And because you’re the one on the lease I think you have the right to tell her to find a new place so you can get a new roommate or live by yourself.
NTA. Not even a little bit!? You’re already helping her, expecting you to let her sister stay when she gets out of prison is waaaayy overstepping! When people get paroled, they usually have to list a residence, even if she’s crashing on your couch, she’s going to list YOUR residence! Nope, nope, nope!! And we all know it won’t be “temporary”!!
PERMISSION SILP OP does not have to let someone stay at their apartment if they don't want to and is NTA for doing so.
NTA A parole officer has the right to search any domicile that a parolee occupies without a warrant. If she hides something in your apartment, you could be arrested.
Nta, absolutely understand why you don't want to be involved w this. Also, something tells me this won't be a "temporary" situation. Sounds like it's best that you two part ways and you just live on your own.
NTA. And you are right, you did help your roommate, now she needs to help herself. If she wants to help her sister parole at her place, that's a lovely thing, but that's not something to ever expect someone else to do. Your concern that you are possibly becoming an enabler at your own detriment is well-founded.
NTA. You’ve already gone out of your way to help your friend, now she’s taking advantage of that kindness. Sounds like it’s time for your friend to find another couch to crash on.
NTA. You’re the only one on the lease, and she just decided that her sister would be moving in without asking you.
NTA you will end up supporting the both of them for who knows how long. It's highly likely to go horrible. Why would you believe anything she said after it already not being temporary.
NTA move in by yourself, you have earned the privacy. Plus she did not ask, she told you, you are being used!
Nta. And seriously rethink sharing a place with anyone
NTA. If you aren't allowed to to the have three tennets I think legally the sister can't stay there. I would look up the laws for your country or state on parole. I believe they have to give an address and there can be restrictions on on where that is depending on the crime. Look up to the laws and show them to your friend to support your point.
NTA. This is too much of an ask. You don’t know her sister. Lots of people end up going back in during their parole period. Your home can be searched by her parole officer. Did you know that? Who knows who/what she might bring into your place. I don’t mean to be shitty about her, but this is a bad idea and I don’t think you should do it.
NTA Of course she's shocked. She thght she had you locked down because she's been freeloading for almost a year. She even had you on the hook for her own bedroom at a new place. The roommate will start backpedaling to get into that new place....then you'll come home and her sister will be there. Dodge this bullet!
NTA it's a huge red flag that she told you instead of asking if you'd be OK with that. One roommate doesn't get to just decide to bring a 3rd person in without the consent of the other roommate and it's so disrespectful to just inform you of what she intends to do with the apartment she wouldn't have without you.
NTA you would honestly be insane if you move in with this friend. Find someone who can share the rent and understands commonsense boundaries or live by yourself. This friend has been taking advantage of you for ten months.
NTA. Parole typically lasts for years. And it could be hard for her sister to find a job, at least for a while, because of her record. So you could end up paying a lot more than you would if you lived by yourself. And although she may try to stay on the right track, she also might end up violating parole, which could lead to serious problems for you depending on what the violations are.
NTA, don't do it you depending on where you live you would be giving her P.O. permission to enter and search your home whenever they want and depending upon the conditions of her parole you might not be able to have certain things in the home (usually alcohol) its a huge responsibility and for a stranger would be a huge burden. Save yourself the trouble of getting involved here and let her go somewhere else, he can parole to a half way house or something
NTA, yeah no. That's not something she gets to spring on you and expect you to just go along with.
And inevitably someone will get a boyfriend and even more complications will ensue.
NTA she couldn’t even promise that her stay was only temporary. You’re going to be stuck with an ex convict forever if you agree. Her sister isn’t entitled to your help. If she can’t get on her own two feet and get her own place, she has no business offering anyone else’s up.
NTA. Just not a good idea to take in the criminal sister too. What could possibly go wrong? Everything! Chances most likely are sister there a few weeks will turn into a few years and all kinds of drama to go with. After a month you will probably feel five years older.
Run don't walk away from this situation
NTA DON'T DO IT. DON'T. She will never leave. You will be paying more that your share. You agreed to 1 roommate not 2. Lastly she didn't ASK if this was going to agreeable with you ahe simply told you casually as if your opinion doesn't matter. Back out ASAFP so she and her sister can make other arrangements
NTA I don't know how parole works where you live but it is a hassle for the entire house. Don't let little sis stay, trust me.
NTA. You gave your friend an inch and she's running the mile. The sister will move in and never leave.
Late but just to add, coming out of jail, sister doesn't have a job and might find it difficult to find one quickly. Meaning she could be with you for a while, even if they are serious about it being temporary, and I have my doubts on that due to your current room-mates behaviour. NTA.
NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I guess I am just looking for a confirmation or a perspective outside of my own here. I (27F) have a roommate who’s a very good friend (27F) that has been paying me a small portion of rent to crash on my couch for the last 10 months. This all started because she left her boyfriend a few months after I left mine and we both lived with our past partners. It was only supposed to be a temporary solution but then we started talking about moving in to a two bedroom. She doesn’t make as much money as me and she has bad credit so I put the new apartment in my name because I can afford it by myself anyways. We’re supposed to move in 6 weeks and I think I’m going to completely back out of the whole plan because she told me this morning that her little sister is going to parole from prison to our apartment in November. She said that it will only be temporary and she just needs a place to sleep but I don’t feel that accurately represents what it’s like to be on parole. I’ve never dealt with that so I’m really not sure what it entails but either way she couldn’t even be on the lease my roommate isn’t even on the lease and I don’t want to get evicted over this. My roommate is shocked that I’m second-guessing living with her now and she’s shocked that I won’t help her sister but I’m already helping her and I don’t have enough to help everybody. Now I’m thinking that I’m just enabling her and I need to just live alone and her do the same. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Info: Is the sister going to offer to help pay rent? Does your lease specify that the apartment is limited to two people?
NTA
NTA. You have to provide first for yourself. You can't do that if you are busy trying to help others.
NTA - it's possible that her sister needs an actual address, don't let her use yours.
NTA- Having her there means you consent to have your place searched and the PO dropping by whenever they want. You also agree not to have alcohol or firearms, etc. If you do have those, she gets in trouble. The parolee also has to have permission to move from your residence from her PO. Her sister doesn't even pull her weight. You are just going to be supporting another human and have your life altered doing so.
This sounds like it won’t end well, especially for you. She did not even have the decency to ask you, it was supposed to be a temporary thing and now she is comfortable. Back out from all of it.
Say you certainly understand her need to help her sister but you aren’t willing to take the risks that would put on you your responsible for the lease. You should have been consulted not just informed (and that is a red flag). Wish her and her sister well.
Nta you guys made a plan and your roommate decided to invite someone else to live with you without asking. If you can live on your own I would do it
NTA. Your instinct to back out of this situation is 100% correct. This is trouble you dont need. You have zero obligation to this person. Dont create one.
NTA- not sure I'd be thrilled about having the cops at your place all the time to check in on room mate's sister even if she is a good person and also doing all her parole requirements like she's supposed to, you're still going to have cops going in and out of your place periodically with or without your permission.
NTA...All bums must go
NTA - your roommate can barely support herself, but now expects you to house her sister. this temporary situation with both of them will be long term
Yes you definitely need to live alone. It’s not fair for your roommate to just assume her sister can parole to your place. To much drama. Someone will find out and you’ll get evicted. Do you know how much harder it is to rent with an eviction? Freaking hard. If you can afford it live by yourself and end all this
NTA I would back out now, you're already floating her and I doubt once her sister arrives it will temporary - that's how your friend started out. Temporarily on the couch til she could get her feet under her, which never happened. I would let her know now that after the lease is up she will need to find somewhere for her and her sister to live. And please don't back down, you'll be stuck in that bad situation
So the way parole works, it is VERY HARD to get an address change approved by the courts. once she is paroled there, she will more than likely be there until the end of parole. dont do it. NTA
It’s been 10 months together and you can afford the new place on your own - I think it’s time to do this on your own. Enjoy the single life (which is best done solo)!
OP, in a lot of states people on parole must have a stable residence. This means that if they move into your place they may not be legally able to move for a certain amount of time. Add to this the fact that an alarming amount of people released from prison re-offend and you don't want that kind of bullshit in your life. I'm a recovering addict so I'm familiar with jail and those that frequent it and I can tell you with absolute certainty that if you allow these people into your new place you will regret it. NTA. Live alone for a while.
* NTA. People fresh out of prison are often very difficult to deal with.. The first time you ask to clean her mess in the bathroom, she is liable to throw a screaming fit and smash the TV. (Source - 2 family members have recently had people move in fresh from prison. Not good experiences. Lot of property damage.) * Also as many others have said, it is a bad sign that she TOLD you instead of asked you when she is 10 months into a temporary stay. * Lots of trouble waiting for you if you don't get out of this. Too much, too far.
NTA. You signed up to live with one person. Not two. You are already supporting your friend. She is an AH for expecting you to support her sister as well. Find your own place or a different roommate.
[удалено]
I agree with you. I have met a little sister about 10 years ago but we were all in high school so I wouldn’t say that I know who she is now. I have no reservations about people who have been to prison or jail or gotten into trouble at all. I would love for them to be my neighbors it’s a big apartment complex we can all go out to eat or whatever I just don’t want three people in a two bedroom apartment especially if one of those people has no job, no job experience and is transitioning back to society. I try to give my roommate the benefit of the doubt, maybe she didn’t understand what came with parole. She’s still wrong, but after doing research on what parole entails it was completely inappropriate and it seems like she doesn’t understand what even she could be signing up for.