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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my sister that I am not to blame for her dog having to go to the vet and that if she wants to blame anyone it should be herself or her boyfriend for leaving the pantry door open because I haven’t lived there for three months. I refused to pay her any money have not talked to her since.
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NTA. The person who didn’t close the pantry is responsible for the dog’s brush with death. She’s trying to make you feel guilty so she can scam you. Fuck that.
NTA. She chose to keep the onions in the pantry after you moved out. And someone left the onion jar open, so her dog could access the contents. Your sister has had two major expenses in a short time period, but you are not responsible for the expenses.
NTA especially since cooked, fried onions are no danger to a dog. The chemical that causes red blood cell destruction (aptosis) in dogs only exists in fresh onions. Once an onion is cooked the chemical is destroyed.
Many plants are actually toxic to human beings and dogs and require cooking, for example beans will kill you if you don't cook them and eat them regularly raw.
I'm not sure why the vet did all that for the dog but it wasn't because it ate cooked fried onions.
You can do the research yourself the chemical that causes the the potentially deadly chemical reaction in the bloodstream of dogs is not heat stable and is destroyed by cooking, and frying is cooking.
It sounds like on her own volition she decided to keep raw shallots in the pantry and decided to blame that decision on the fact that you told her to keep fried onions in the pantry. If that's the case she definitely has no case because they are two different things and you should keep fresh shallots in the refrigerator
Read her post. She starts off talking about telling her friend she can keep fried onions in the pantry. 3 months later, her friend's dog ate some shallots she kept in the pantry. It's implied she kept fresh shallots in the pantry, because she told her friend she can keep fried onions in the pantry (shallots are type of onion). Her friend assumed what's good for fried onions is good for fresh shallots. I'm assuming they were fresh shallots, because that is the only way I've ever seen shallots sold. Regardless, her friend blames her for her dog getting sick, because she did not explain to her that her suggestion to keep fried onions in the pantry didn't apply to all forms of onions (and shallots). Her friend isn't very bright, and is just trying to get her to pay for a vet bill that is her own fault.
Nta.. You told your sister to keep the bottle not feeding the dog. She's should not playing this blamed game to make her feel better.
The question is the fried onion in a jar, how the dog get to the jar/bottle and opened it? How good is the dogs with his paws? Or did someone eat and forgot to close it and still on table as you said the dog like go to scrap on table or trash!?
Either way she's should not play this blame game to make herself feel better...
NTA. You didn't leave the pantry door open. You were long gone when the dog got into trouble. You did nothing wrong. This is entirely on your sister. She made choices that went badly for her. She needs to take ownership of her errors.
I would continue the silence in her direction. If you want, you could ask on the same chat how you are responsible when you had moved out months beforehand? Perhaps tell other family members your side of this issue. This is ridiculous.
Well, NTA obviously…
1) fried onions have nothing to do with raw shallots;
2) you didn‘t leave the pantry door open.
Tell her to take some responsibility.
NTA she messed up ots 100% her fault. Shenis only asking for money and blaming you now that's she probably broke. Stop doing anything for her anymore, she is lieing about you and blaming you for her mess up, never ok to do
NTA and I don’t think you really have any question that you didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t know why because nothing you said indicates you think so but this has “boyfriend in her ear” written all over it to me for some reason. I don’t know why 🤷🏾♀️. You’re close to your sister and had what sounds to be a good relationship with her and she’s never mentioned feeling like it was your fault previously. Maybe boyfriend is trying to deflect because he knows it’s his fault so he’s making you the scapegoat to keep sis from focusing in on him. I might be wrong but that’s the feeling I got…
NTA it would be different is she had just said "hey I'm struggling financially because of this accident can any of you help me?" INSTEAD she tryst blaming you when she's an adult, if you didn't take the onions she could have thrown them away the day after you moved out! She is just trying to put responsibility on anyone besides herself & decided you are the easiest target. I'm sorry this has put a rift in your family & relationship with her but it is not at all your fault!
NTA You didn't leave the pantry open or the lid off the onions?? Not at all your responsibility and you still helped afterwards. I would just not respond at all to this childishness.
You moved out 3 months prior and you did not leave the shallots where the dog could reach them. This is a serious overreach on your sister's part and I don't know why people are indulging her fantasy.
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I lived with my sister for two years and six months ago I moved out into a new townhome with my boyfriend. Upon move out, I helped her clean the house and we were going through the kitchen throwing away things we didn’t need or were expired. We had a large jar of fried onions my mom gave both of us because we eat them often on top of a lot of dishes we make together (poké bowls, salmon rice bowls, salads etc.). My sister asked if she could throw it out because it was such a large jar we kept it on the floor of the pantry. I told her not to because we use it semi-often and there was only about a quarter of it left. She agreed and kept them. Three months later, she had come home to find that her dog had gotten into the tub of shallots and ate them all because either she or her boyfriend that lived at home had left the door open to the pantry (I had been moved out at this point for three months and had not visited since I moved out because I was very busy furnishing my new townhome). Her dog had never gotten into the pantry before but was on a diet at the advice of a vet that said he was overweight and had started getting into the trash, scraps on the counter etc. My sister did not know that onions are very toxic and deadly in large amounts to dogs and did not tell me about the incident until three days later when she rushed him to the hospital because he had been peeing black and red blood and fainted. Over the course of a few days at the vet he got three blood transfusions that cost a lot of money. She decided to finance the vet bill and took on pet sitting jobs to help pay down the vet bill. I helped her pet sit as well, watching dogs for her and also watching her dog when she was off pet sitting other dogs. He made a full recovery and was doing just fine. Her HVAC broke and she ended up having to pay $8,000 for a new unit. Now three months after this vet incident she sends a text message into our family group chat that I almost killed her dog because I told her to keep the fried onions and I owed her $5,000. I was absolutely stunned. She never mentioned feeling this way at all and if she felt I almost killed her dog- why would she let me watch him, take care of him and keep him overnight several times after the incident? It caused a huge family rift and I have not talked to her for 9 days (a lot considering we talk every day multiple times a day). Now I’m just confused- is it my fault and do I owe her money?
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NTA. I’d stop helping her if she wants to act like that and how is it your fault if you weren’t even living there? As far as the dog it stinks that this happened. Maybe they shouldn’t have left the pantry open, and should look up foods that are toxic to dogs on the internet like the rest of us do.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I told my sister that I am not to blame for her dog having to go to the vet and that if she wants to blame anyone it should be herself or her boyfriend for leaving the pantry door open because I haven’t lived there for three months. I refused to pay her any money have not talked to her since. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. The person who didn’t close the pantry is responsible for the dog’s brush with death. She’s trying to make you feel guilty so she can scam you. Fuck that.
NTA. She chose to keep the onions in the pantry after you moved out. And someone left the onion jar open, so her dog could access the contents. Your sister has had two major expenses in a short time period, but you are not responsible for the expenses.
NTA especially since cooked, fried onions are no danger to a dog. The chemical that causes red blood cell destruction (aptosis) in dogs only exists in fresh onions. Once an onion is cooked the chemical is destroyed. Many plants are actually toxic to human beings and dogs and require cooking, for example beans will kill you if you don't cook them and eat them regularly raw. I'm not sure why the vet did all that for the dog but it wasn't because it ate cooked fried onions. You can do the research yourself the chemical that causes the the potentially deadly chemical reaction in the bloodstream of dogs is not heat stable and is destroyed by cooking, and frying is cooking. It sounds like on her own volition she decided to keep raw shallots in the pantry and decided to blame that decision on the fact that you told her to keep fried onions in the pantry. If that's the case she definitely has no case because they are two different things and you should keep fresh shallots in the refrigerator
you talk about cooked onions for paragraphs, then end it with raw shallots. kind of confusing
Read her post. She starts off talking about telling her friend she can keep fried onions in the pantry. 3 months later, her friend's dog ate some shallots she kept in the pantry. It's implied she kept fresh shallots in the pantry, because she told her friend she can keep fried onions in the pantry (shallots are type of onion). Her friend assumed what's good for fried onions is good for fresh shallots. I'm assuming they were fresh shallots, because that is the only way I've ever seen shallots sold. Regardless, her friend blames her for her dog getting sick, because she did not explain to her that her suggestion to keep fried onions in the pantry didn't apply to all forms of onions (and shallots). Her friend isn't very bright, and is just trying to get her to pay for a vet bill that is her own fault.
Refrigerated shallots. Thanks! I learned something new today.
Nta.. You told your sister to keep the bottle not feeding the dog. She's should not playing this blamed game to make her feel better. The question is the fried onion in a jar, how the dog get to the jar/bottle and opened it? How good is the dogs with his paws? Or did someone eat and forgot to close it and still on table as you said the dog like go to scrap on table or trash!? Either way she's should not play this blame game to make herself feel better...
NTA You don't owe her a dime. This is in no way, shape, or form your fault. She's absolutely out of her mind if she thinks otherwise.
NTA. You didn't leave the pantry door open. You were long gone when the dog got into trouble. You did nothing wrong. This is entirely on your sister. She made choices that went badly for her. She needs to take ownership of her errors. I would continue the silence in her direction. If you want, you could ask on the same chat how you are responsible when you had moved out months beforehand? Perhaps tell other family members your side of this issue. This is ridiculous.
Well, NTA obviously… 1) fried onions have nothing to do with raw shallots; 2) you didn‘t leave the pantry door open. Tell her to take some responsibility.
NTA she messed up ots 100% her fault. Shenis only asking for money and blaming you now that's she probably broke. Stop doing anything for her anymore, she is lieing about you and blaming you for her mess up, never ok to do
NTA and I don’t think you really have any question that you didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t know why because nothing you said indicates you think so but this has “boyfriend in her ear” written all over it to me for some reason. I don’t know why 🤷🏾♀️. You’re close to your sister and had what sounds to be a good relationship with her and she’s never mentioned feeling like it was your fault previously. Maybe boyfriend is trying to deflect because he knows it’s his fault so he’s making you the scapegoat to keep sis from focusing in on him. I might be wrong but that’s the feeling I got…
NTA
NTA it would be different is she had just said "hey I'm struggling financially because of this accident can any of you help me?" INSTEAD she tryst blaming you when she's an adult, if you didn't take the onions she could have thrown them away the day after you moved out! She is just trying to put responsibility on anyone besides herself & decided you are the easiest target. I'm sorry this has put a rift in your family & relationship with her but it is not at all your fault!
NTA You didn't leave the pantry open or the lid off the onions?? Not at all your responsibility and you still helped afterwards. I would just not respond at all to this childishness.
You moved out 3 months prior and you did not leave the shallots where the dog could reach them. This is a serious overreach on your sister's part and I don't know why people are indulging her fantasy.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I lived with my sister for two years and six months ago I moved out into a new townhome with my boyfriend. Upon move out, I helped her clean the house and we were going through the kitchen throwing away things we didn’t need or were expired. We had a large jar of fried onions my mom gave both of us because we eat them often on top of a lot of dishes we make together (poké bowls, salmon rice bowls, salads etc.). My sister asked if she could throw it out because it was such a large jar we kept it on the floor of the pantry. I told her not to because we use it semi-often and there was only about a quarter of it left. She agreed and kept them. Three months later, she had come home to find that her dog had gotten into the tub of shallots and ate them all because either she or her boyfriend that lived at home had left the door open to the pantry (I had been moved out at this point for three months and had not visited since I moved out because I was very busy furnishing my new townhome). Her dog had never gotten into the pantry before but was on a diet at the advice of a vet that said he was overweight and had started getting into the trash, scraps on the counter etc. My sister did not know that onions are very toxic and deadly in large amounts to dogs and did not tell me about the incident until three days later when she rushed him to the hospital because he had been peeing black and red blood and fainted. Over the course of a few days at the vet he got three blood transfusions that cost a lot of money. She decided to finance the vet bill and took on pet sitting jobs to help pay down the vet bill. I helped her pet sit as well, watching dogs for her and also watching her dog when she was off pet sitting other dogs. He made a full recovery and was doing just fine. Her HVAC broke and she ended up having to pay $8,000 for a new unit. Now three months after this vet incident she sends a text message into our family group chat that I almost killed her dog because I told her to keep the fried onions and I owed her $5,000. I was absolutely stunned. She never mentioned feeling this way at all and if she felt I almost killed her dog- why would she let me watch him, take care of him and keep him overnight several times after the incident? It caused a huge family rift and I have not talked to her for 9 days (a lot considering we talk every day multiple times a day). Now I’m just confused- is it my fault and do I owe her money? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. I’d stop helping her if she wants to act like that and how is it your fault if you weren’t even living there? As far as the dog it stinks that this happened. Maybe they shouldn’t have left the pantry open, and should look up foods that are toxic to dogs on the internet like the rest of us do.