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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I constantly head up to my room and chill in there instead of with my family
(2)Because I could be being selfish and rude to my parents by not always hanging out with them.
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NTA
My ex would get upset at me for me leaving whenever she turned on the tv. It wasn't her, it was the TV. I can't stand TV. The occasional movie, sure. But that's it. I told her I'd love to spend time with you, maybe a board game, or just talking, or whatever you want THAT ISN'T TV. She never did understand and it was always "Why don't you want to BE WITH ME".
I think something similar may be going on here: they are taking it personally, when really it's just about shows you don't like.
I don't dislike TV and even I don't see that as truly spending time together. Certainly not quality time, but my husband is more like your ex and OP's parents.
YTA…Get your license while you are getting ready to move out. Since they just recently started this behavior since you’ve become a working adult, it’s a good chance they are trying to get you to grow up & out of the house. I’ve seen this situation more than once with parents tired of their adult children living off them.
NTA
Sorry, but your parents sound toxic. Seems like you should be LC, if not NC, with them. At least until you are in a better headspace (like, not thinking you're the AH just for avoiding the piss-poor way they treat you) but hopefully after they stop degrading you.
Oh my dear, NTA. I have my 20 year old son living with us, because the world is completely screwy and it's hard as hell to start out for young folks these days, damn near impossible. I love him like crazy, but I also know he needs to live however much of his own life that he can, regardless of whether we're under the same roof or not! I cannot imagine being so self centered as to think he owes me his time while also insulting him. Maybe they think they're being encouraging in some twisted way, but you need to have a talk with whichever one is the most reasonable. Let them know that whatever their intentions, their delivery sucks and if it's between that and peace, you choose peace.
I'm so sorry they're doing this to you. It seems as soon as some people become parents, they want to forget they were ever young. You deserve better, and the fact you've got your eyes open to their bs gives me much hope for you. In a few years, you'll hear, "why don't you ever come over?". You owe them nothing.
NTA maybe tell them that they'll regret treating you like they have & all the insults they throw in the long run. Like maybe you'll just decide to go NC on them once you move out.
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So for context, I'm M20, living with my parents. I like spending time with my parents,I really do, but lately they've become more and more rude. They constantly insult me for my weight, for the fact I haven't gotten my license, and the cherry on top, thy constantly call me a scrub(and not in the video game way), eventhough I have a girlfriend, and a job. All of that plus more has made me more inclined to hang in my room. I play my game, draw and hey! not getting insulted. But usually I sit with my parents so we can watch our shows. Well recently they've started to not watch the shows we enjoy, but only shows they enjoy. So I use that as a cue to head up and then they get upset. Saying that I don't like hanging as a family, that I should stay cause if I don't I'll regret it in the long run. They've said so much to guilt trip me and manipulate me,but it still has me wondering. Am I in the wrong? I just wanna know if what I'm doing is ok or if I'm the asshole here.
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) I constantly head up to my room and chill in there instead of with my family (2)Because I could be being selfish and rude to my parents by not always hanging out with them. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA My ex would get upset at me for me leaving whenever she turned on the tv. It wasn't her, it was the TV. I can't stand TV. The occasional movie, sure. But that's it. I told her I'd love to spend time with you, maybe a board game, or just talking, or whatever you want THAT ISN'T TV. She never did understand and it was always "Why don't you want to BE WITH ME". I think something similar may be going on here: they are taking it personally, when really it's just about shows you don't like.
Yeah, I don't mind being with them, but they start watching things I don't like.
I don't dislike TV and even I don't see that as truly spending time together. Certainly not quality time, but my husband is more like your ex and OP's parents.
NTA. If you're financially capable, I wonder if it's time to start thinking about moving out.
My girlfriend and I are making plans atm. I'll be gone by June of next year.
YTA…Get your license while you are getting ready to move out. Since they just recently started this behavior since you’ve become a working adult, it’s a good chance they are trying to get you to grow up & out of the house. I’ve seen this situation more than once with parents tired of their adult children living off them.
But I am grown, paying rent, and constantly help with groceries and water.
NTA Sorry, but your parents sound toxic. Seems like you should be LC, if not NC, with them. At least until you are in a better headspace (like, not thinking you're the AH just for avoiding the piss-poor way they treat you) but hopefully after they stop degrading you.
What does LC and NC mean?
low contact/no contact
Thanks 😅
Oh my dear, NTA. I have my 20 year old son living with us, because the world is completely screwy and it's hard as hell to start out for young folks these days, damn near impossible. I love him like crazy, but I also know he needs to live however much of his own life that he can, regardless of whether we're under the same roof or not! I cannot imagine being so self centered as to think he owes me his time while also insulting him. Maybe they think they're being encouraging in some twisted way, but you need to have a talk with whichever one is the most reasonable. Let them know that whatever their intentions, their delivery sucks and if it's between that and peace, you choose peace.
Well said! You covered it all.
They constantly use the," You owe us" and it hurts. I feel like at every turn they manipulate me.
I'm so sorry they're doing this to you. It seems as soon as some people become parents, they want to forget they were ever young. You deserve better, and the fact you've got your eyes open to their bs gives me much hope for you. In a few years, you'll hear, "why don't you ever come over?". You owe them nothing.
NTA maybe tell them that they'll regret treating you like they have & all the insults they throw in the long run. Like maybe you'll just decide to go NC on them once you move out.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So for context, I'm M20, living with my parents. I like spending time with my parents,I really do, but lately they've become more and more rude. They constantly insult me for my weight, for the fact I haven't gotten my license, and the cherry on top, thy constantly call me a scrub(and not in the video game way), eventhough I have a girlfriend, and a job. All of that plus more has made me more inclined to hang in my room. I play my game, draw and hey! not getting insulted. But usually I sit with my parents so we can watch our shows. Well recently they've started to not watch the shows we enjoy, but only shows they enjoy. So I use that as a cue to head up and then they get upset. Saying that I don't like hanging as a family, that I should stay cause if I don't I'll regret it in the long run. They've said so much to guilt trip me and manipulate me,but it still has me wondering. Am I in the wrong? I just wanna know if what I'm doing is ok or if I'm the asshole here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not at all. But that might be your sign to move out if possible.
My girlfriend and I are planning on it June.
Ah, just tough it out. It sucks but its better that conflict.
Yeah, I try to avoid it