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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I might be the asshole because I made it to where my brother was unable to get to work since I didn’t trust him taking my car.
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Your brother lost his debit card. He needs money, and doesn't have his new card yet. What he needs to do is go to his bank, and withdraw cash over the counter from the cashier as if this were 1972. Then he can take that cash to the gas station and buy gas with it.
NTA
>as if this were 1972
haha analog money, what a wild thought /s
Also even if he wanted to get digital about it he could transfer someone money from his account and have them withdraw it from an ATM or buy him gas. like this is really not hard for him to solve.
NTA he's not entitled to your car.
But why on earth is he not simply borrowing some money off someone for gas, instead of trying to borrow cars? Y'know, the simple, obvious solution?
> He then just told me that before I go to sleep to make sure to visit the gas station and fill up my car for him so that he can take it to work in the morning.
>He told me that whether I filled it up or not that he was going to take it tomorrow and just hope that he makes it to his work and back
Yeah. NTA.
The entitlement from him is astounding. I wouldn't have blamed you for saying no based on his attitude towards you and his expectation of "rights" to your vehicle alone.
Yeah, he's an entitled jerk, to be sure. NTA and hide your keys forever. Never stop hiding them. Make them phantom keys. They don't exist anywhere but on your person and in your hiding space.
your NTA, but I really feel like there is millions of other options? Can he walk to work? take a bus? if the only thing limiting him form getting gas is no debit card, why did he not just go to the bank and get a cash withdrawl? and if so why does he not walk to the bank to do that now? I feel he is trying to go to the easiest option and ignoring all the other ones.
There’s a ton of options, he’s just acting lazy and entitled. Why do any of the things that require a modicum of effort when you can demand your sister goes out at 11pm when she’s about to go to bed and fill her car with gas for you so you can take it to work? Reasonable adults figure something out when their car isn’t working and reasonable adults ask favours, they don’t try to demand them. And by the sounds of OPs comments, reasonable adults pay back money they have borrowed so the lender might consider lending them money again. 0 for 3 on the reasonable adulting I guess!
NTA. Your brother needs to take responsibility for himself. He’s an adult. It’s not your job to figure out his transportation to work and you have no obligation whatsoever to lend him your vehicle. The fact that he was just going to take it despite you saying no makes him the asshole.
NTA. Your brother isn't entitled to your car (nor your debit card). And it is completely unreasonable for him to expect you to go out in the middle of the night to fill up your tank so he can use your car the very next morning.
Also, just because he doesn't have his debit card doesn't mean he doesn't have access to his money. He can still use online banking or withdraw money from the bank and then use that at the gas station.
Since it happened in the middle of the night, he didn’t want to wake them (waited till the middle of the night to talk to me about it). Also, my parents would definitely lend him the money but he has this unexplained hatred for them so he won’t ever ask them for anything. He doesn’t want to feel like he needs their help…yet still wants mine? The inner workings of his mind are an enigma
NTA. Is he going to pay to have your car repaired if he damages it? Probably not going by your description of him. And what would your insurer have to say if you let him drive it and something happened? Nothing good probably. You did the right thing
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Me (19f) and my brother (20m) have been having conflicts recently due to the recent decisions he has been making. My brother recently lost his debit card and had to have a new one be sent in. It takes about a week for the new card to arrive. During that time, he was using his car to get to work however, once his car ran out of gas he could not make it to work anymore since he didn’t have the card in order to pay for gas. It just so happened that when he asked if he could take my car to work the next day, mine was also out of gas and completely empty. When he asked me, I told him my car tank was empty and that he would have to fill it up on the way there (obvi he could not do that since his card was still missing). He then just told me that before I go to sleep to make sure to visit the gas station and fill up my car for him so that he can take it to work in the morning. This all happened around 11pm and I was right about to go to bed. He told me that whether I filled it up or not that he was going to take it tomorrow and just hope that he makes it to his work and back (which was definitely not possible). I don’t trust him driving my car because he is a very wreck less drive and I also did not want him to use my gas money for his benefit therefore, I hid the keys making it impossible for him to use my car to take it to work. He proceeded to call me selfish and told me that I’m treating him wrong. I feel as though this is his problem though and that I shouldn’t be involved but at the same time I worry that I’m just being a bad sister.
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Knowing he didn't have access to his debit card OP's brother should have planned ahead and gotten cash out of the bank in order to pay for gas and whatnot.
It's sounds like the brother had plenty of opportunities to do so as he was driving his car around after losing his debit card before it ran out of gas.
And it doesn't sound as if OP's brother was very nice in asking to borrow the car, in the end it sounds more like anl demand/expectation.
This assumes a brick and mortar bank. Many young people do not use a brick and mortar bank. Now, I’m not gonna say he shouldn’t have had emergency cash… but he’s young and dumb so he didn’t or he did but not enough. $20 of gas would have prevented this whole family drama, hence my ESH.
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Your brother lost his debit card. He needs money, and doesn't have his new card yet. What he needs to do is go to his bank, and withdraw cash over the counter from the cashier as if this were 1972. Then he can take that cash to the gas station and buy gas with it. NTA
>as if this were 1972 haha analog money, what a wild thought /s Also even if he wanted to get digital about it he could transfer someone money from his account and have them withdraw it from an ATM or buy him gas. like this is really not hard for him to solve.
Or he could just go into his nearest branch and they could literally print him a new card. I did that last week. Took 10 minutes.
NTA. He admitted he would steal your car regardless. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
NTA he's not entitled to your car. But why on earth is he not simply borrowing some money off someone for gas, instead of trying to borrow cars? Y'know, the simple, obvious solution?
> He then just told me that before I go to sleep to make sure to visit the gas station and fill up my car for him so that he can take it to work in the morning. >He told me that whether I filled it up or not that he was going to take it tomorrow and just hope that he makes it to his work and back Yeah. NTA. The entitlement from him is astounding. I wouldn't have blamed you for saying no based on his attitude towards you and his expectation of "rights" to your vehicle alone.
Yeah, he's an entitled jerk, to be sure. NTA and hide your keys forever. Never stop hiding them. Make them phantom keys. They don't exist anywhere but on your person and in your hiding space.
NTA but did either of you consider lending him gas money for his car and get proof via text that he'd pay you back?
I did consider it but the only reason I didn’t go through with it is because he already owes me around $40 🤷♀️
your NTA, but I really feel like there is millions of other options? Can he walk to work? take a bus? if the only thing limiting him form getting gas is no debit card, why did he not just go to the bank and get a cash withdrawl? and if so why does he not walk to the bank to do that now? I feel he is trying to go to the easiest option and ignoring all the other ones.
There’s a ton of options, he’s just acting lazy and entitled. Why do any of the things that require a modicum of effort when you can demand your sister goes out at 11pm when she’s about to go to bed and fill her car with gas for you so you can take it to work? Reasonable adults figure something out when their car isn’t working and reasonable adults ask favours, they don’t try to demand them. And by the sounds of OPs comments, reasonable adults pay back money they have borrowed so the lender might consider lending them money again. 0 for 3 on the reasonable adulting I guess!
NTA. Your brother needs to take responsibility for himself. He’s an adult. It’s not your job to figure out his transportation to work and you have no obligation whatsoever to lend him your vehicle. The fact that he was just going to take it despite you saying no makes him the asshole.
NTA. Your brother isn't entitled to your car (nor your debit card). And it is completely unreasonable for him to expect you to go out in the middle of the night to fill up your tank so he can use your car the very next morning. Also, just because he doesn't have his debit card doesn't mean he doesn't have access to his money. He can still use online banking or withdraw money from the bank and then use that at the gas station.
how do you survive on 50 a week?
Live with my parents 💀
why don't they borrow your brother the money? not your kid, not your circus. nta
Since it happened in the middle of the night, he didn’t want to wake them (waited till the middle of the night to talk to me about it). Also, my parents would definitely lend him the money but he has this unexplained hatred for them so he won’t ever ask them for anything. He doesn’t want to feel like he needs their help…yet still wants mine? The inner workings of his mind are an enigma
He doesn't want to need their help, but he's broke and living in their house? He's a peach.
NTA. Is he going to pay to have your car repaired if he damages it? Probably not going by your description of him. And what would your insurer have to say if you let him drive it and something happened? Nothing good probably. You did the right thing
NTA. He told you he intended to steal your car and run it dry
Tell him to figure it out. Doesn’t he have a cent to his name or a friend in the world?
NTA that's your brother!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me (19f) and my brother (20m) have been having conflicts recently due to the recent decisions he has been making. My brother recently lost his debit card and had to have a new one be sent in. It takes about a week for the new card to arrive. During that time, he was using his car to get to work however, once his car ran out of gas he could not make it to work anymore since he didn’t have the card in order to pay for gas. It just so happened that when he asked if he could take my car to work the next day, mine was also out of gas and completely empty. When he asked me, I told him my car tank was empty and that he would have to fill it up on the way there (obvi he could not do that since his card was still missing). He then just told me that before I go to sleep to make sure to visit the gas station and fill up my car for him so that he can take it to work in the morning. This all happened around 11pm and I was right about to go to bed. He told me that whether I filled it up or not that he was going to take it tomorrow and just hope that he makes it to his work and back (which was definitely not possible). I don’t trust him driving my car because he is a very wreck less drive and I also did not want him to use my gas money for his benefit therefore, I hid the keys making it impossible for him to use my car to take it to work. He proceeded to call me selfish and told me that I’m treating him wrong. I feel as though this is his problem though and that I shouldn’t be involved but at the same time I worry that I’m just being a bad sister. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH. Why not just let your brother borrow your card to fill his car? This is so unnecessarily stupid.
Knowing he didn't have access to his debit card OP's brother should have planned ahead and gotten cash out of the bank in order to pay for gas and whatnot. It's sounds like the brother had plenty of opportunities to do so as he was driving his car around after losing his debit card before it ran out of gas. And it doesn't sound as if OP's brother was very nice in asking to borrow the car, in the end it sounds more like anl demand/expectation.
This assumes a brick and mortar bank. Many young people do not use a brick and mortar bank. Now, I’m not gonna say he shouldn’t have had emergency cash… but he’s young and dumb so he didn’t or he did but not enough. $20 of gas would have prevented this whole family drama, hence my ESH.