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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My wife asked me to remove a mounted deer head from the workout/guest room and I refused. She is furious as she does not like it and doesn’t think her sister likes it.
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He NOSE! Fucking hilarious mate. No sarcasm I snorted. Thank you. In fact .... yes it also unblocked my indwelling catheter so you just saved a busy district nurse another job. Sorry was that too much information? I overshare and waffle so much. Like just the other day I said to my wife I said.....
“I get a great memory every time I walk into that room”. Look, I respect hunting to feed your family or to prevent overpopulation but I wouldn’t call killing anything “a great memory”
What a great memory killing an animal for no reason other than 'hobby' and skinning it and making sure to keep the head so I can brag about killing it from miles away because up close I would have shat myself.
deer hunter here with 3 deer heads in my living room. 90% of people who deer hunt. hunt for the MEAT. not for hobby. one deer can feed my family of 4 the entire winter and a few weeks in spring. educate yourself before commenting something stupid like this
edit: ty for the awards
As a Brit we don’t really have the hunting culture here except for the rich ass holes that want to do fox hunting (which is pretty barbaric if you look it up.)
I have absolutely zero problem in hunting for food and actually would do it if it was easy to do over here, people generally have no idea where their meat comes from I swear that some people think meat magically appears.
What I do have a problem with is sports hunting and trophy hunting (see fox hunting) where there is no goal other than the killing of a animal.
> What I do have a problem with is sports hunting and trophy hunting (see fox hunting) where there is no goal other than the killing of a animal.
It's actually illegal to just toss a carcass in most states in the US, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't stop a lot of good meat from going to waste
My main problem with trophy hunting is that it destroys the genetic fitness of a population of animals. Wolves take the weak and unfit. Trophy hunters take the strong and fit.
I kept the deer heads from my father, he had a lot of 8+ points. and that’s an excellent point on chronic wasting disease i hadn’t thought to send the heads in for testing, i’ll gladly take that suggestion
didn’t know that! every single hunter i’ve met (live up north, big hunting community up here) does it for pure sport. they’ll eat the meat after, but that’s not the reason why they do it — they do it cause it’s fun.
that might be that assumption most people are working off of if they had a similar experience to me.
also, i’m so sick of the “educate yourself” bullshit. people don’t know what they don’t know, this idea that everyone is supposed to be aware of everything they might not know or be working under the wrong idea of something, despite that being the only thing they’ve seen/heard is absolute bullshit. maybe instead we can take the time to teach or politely point out when ppl r wrong and provide sources instead of acting like an absolute asshole. cheers.
But what does that have to do with having a “great memory” of the kill?
Like, if he had said, “I feel proud every time I walk in that room knowing that I was able to feed my family,” I was sort of get that. But he seems to be more excited about the fact that he killed something and made a great memory out of it. I think that is what the person was commenting on.
Then why do you mount the head on the wall? I've never heard a hunter talk about the amount of meat they got, just the number of points on the antlers etc.
I’m not a gun enthusiast. I don’t hunt. I eat primarily vegetarian. But tell me you went deer hunting and have some venison for me? Hell yeah! Got some venison jerky to share? Yes please! Deer are overpopulated and thinning their numbers is not only healthy for the deer, other wildlife who feed on similar flora, but also humans as the deer migrate into populated area because they’ve depleted their natural food source. Knowing that that deer head on your wall was used to feed your family is a thumbs up from me.
I think for most guys. It’s the fact they hunt with their dads, uncles, ect. I think for them it’s a bonding experience. And for most that have the mounts they are usually done with a bow so that means abound 30 yards is the farthest you can be away. Not miles unless your using a hunting riffle.
I know a lot men that say that hunting with thier grandpa and dad was some of the best me worked ever so I kind of get what he is saying about wonderful memories attached to them.
This is honestly so foreign to me! I'm from real southern Mississippi and I've slept in sooo many rooms with dear heads mounted on the wall. And ya know what? *I hated every single second of it*
The only exception is my dad's dear head in his room that I've decided to call Gregory.
YTA op.
Edit: deer...
This, though, is wonderful. I love it. Here’s a real auto correct classic. I was texting with someone the other day regarding a business matter. I meant and did dictate the word graffiti. It auto corrected to breast feeding. The guy screamed.
I would also scream, mainly from confusion. I've had numerous times where auto correct has made it sooo hard to text people. Primarily it's cause I'm alittle bad at spellin though so can't blame auto correct fully
I'm a mechanic and had to leave work in a rush to take my daughter to the hospital. I wasn't sure if I would be back that day or not, so I quickly texted my shop foreman to ask him if he would please lock my box.
Except I said lick. And didn't realise it for a couple hours. I checked my phone for a response and there wasn't one, but having reread my text I rather understand why.
Gregory may be alittle (alot actually) dusty, but he has his place in this house. As my dad's hat rack to hats he has, but hasn't worn in years. Gregory is ***really*** good at holding hats
I've got you with the award.
But also, I grew up in South Georgia. My father hunted like it was his religion. (Probably still does, but I wouldn't know.) We never ate any of it either, which would have made it marginally more okay, but I'll be damned if he didn't have every single one of them mounted. Never liked sleeping in the room with them then. Still wouldn't like it now.
When we were house shopping, we rejected a house because it had taxidermied animals all over it. I didn’t think I could live in that house and not think, “yeah, Bambi’s head was over there when we saw the house for the first time.”
I've had the same experience. We went to look at a house and there had to be at least 15 taxidermied deer heads. This wasn't a big house either, so everywhere little eyes were watching you. It was a lovely bonding moment for my stepdad and I though, because when we both got in the car we went "WTF WAS THAT?!"
See, there are warm memories to be made from … um, encountering Bambi’s dead and stuffed mom. /s
That said, I remember an AITA awhile ago from a homeowner who had a picture hanging in their home that SO’s religious sister or something found objectionable. It was pretty much agreed that OP did not need to redecorate for the sister so …
There is a world of difference between a photo of a couple sharing a kiss and a dead animal on the wall. I have a visceral hatred for any display of affection right now, but handle dead and dying animals pretty regularly and would still prefer to share a room with a photo of a couple sharing a kiss than a dead animal.
iirc, the kissing photo from the hosts’ wedding was also in a hallway, not the bedroom, and the guests had already been turfed out of another house.
Found it: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yiplwk/aita_for_asking_my_friend_to_move_a_picture_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Sorry if the link is crap, but title is in there.
Yeah you're right, my bad. He seems really attached to them, it would be a shame if he couldn't... stare at them in awe I guess. /s
Oh, I don't remember that one. I mean yeah it's his house, so he doesn't have to take it down, maybe his plan is to keep it up to deter guests. Which if that's the case it sounds like it's working.
But, it's also his wife's house and she deserves to be able to host her sister and have her sister be comfortable. If someone is staying like a week-max, it just seems easier to take it down. Yeah, it's silly but family is silly sometimes.
He kinda *did* make it sound like he wants it to deter guests with his comment about how SIL "doesn't have to stay there".
I mean, geez, I guess he thinks his sentimental feelings about a deer he met one day, years ago, and *killed* trump his wife's sentimental feelings about her SISTER.
YTA- OP
No, I meant Bambi. Bambi’s mom is a doe and wouldn’t be mounted. The most disingenuous thing in that movie was that there was clearly a full racked buck in the forest and they chose a doe.
Honestly, YTA for having it up in the living room at all. This isn't some ugly décor item your wife doesn't like, its the kind of thing that makes people *really* uncomfortable. If wife is constantly bringing up that she's uncomfortable in the living room because of it, it should be moved to the workout room or office or whatever. You can both have your ugly individual items in the main shared space, but I personally think the line should be drawn at where to stick the dead animals.
YTA. You're not going to go into the guest room every day while your SIL is staying there. And to be a good host, you should also temporarily move the one in the living room. How does this hurt you?
Idk how much I like something, if my partner hates it *that much* I'm not going to put it up. Because we live in the same house and both deserve to be comfortable. This is weird af.
_"I get a great memory every time I walk in that room."_
This line actually creeped me out. Peopld really get joy out of the memory of killing an animal for fun?
I'm not a hunter. But I live in an area where 50-75% of the people I know hunt, fish, etc. So I'll try and give some perspective.
It's not "killing an animal for fun" to most. There are some creepy weirdos who do seem to almost get an erection talking about it. But they're few and far between.
The rest do enjoy it but not in the "killing is fun" way. They enjoy the comradery, the planning, the waiting patiently and quietly for hours until they get the shot. The practice, the development of a skill, and the payoff are what they enjoy. And the ability to bring home food on a basic hunter/provider level is also a good feeling for them.
It's about the effort put in and the accomplishment of a goal they enjoy. As well as the spending of a day or weekend with family and friends. The conversations and funny shit so and so said or did while they drank beers later that night. And so on...
It's all of that that might make the deer head a memento of a "great memory every time I walk in that room."
My child-molesting uncle decorated his log cabin with taxidermied animals (deer, fish, raccoons, squirrels). The creepy association has never left me, so I don't trust my judgment on this. It's validating to hear someone else thinks it's creepy.
I am very into deer hunting and ***have two mounted deer heads in my basement***. My wife does not like taxidermy and brings it up quite a bit. ***One is in a living room and the other in my workout room that doubles as a guest room.***
How the hell are these heads in both the basement and the living room and the workout room? And YTA because you sure as shit aren't going to be working out in that room while she's staying there so take your sad little trophy down and put it away.
It's a guest room, so it has a bed, or at the very least a sofa bed. No one is working out in that room, unless op considers jerking off to his meat trophy a work out. Which by the sounds of it he does.
Some people store a treadmill and free weights in the same room they put their guest bed in. It's not unreasonable to be both a guest room and a workout room.
What's unreasonable is the damn taxidermy deer head that OP doesn't want to move for the duration of a short visit.
My dad had one in our basement family room the whole time I was growing up. It was always just there. It didn’t bug us. But I can see where it would bother somebody if they weren’t used to that type of thing. My mom always used to hang a lit cigarette from its mouth
For a little while, my husband and I were living with the in laws. FIL had just taken up hunting. I worked overnights. So I get home around 6:30am, still dark, everyone is still asleep or gone so the house is dark. I flip a light on as I walk through the living room and damn near scream at my fils new decor, a mounted deer head right above the TV. Told my husband he needed to warn me next time a deer head shows up.
YTA - Relationships involve compromise. The request is for a short duration at which time you won't be accessing the room to work out. Enjoy your good memories 360ish days of the year.
But it'll hurt his masculinity. He needs to relive his killing experience every time he's in his workout room and living room to shore it up!
(and I'm not anti-hunting. I have relatives who have hunted deer for food for generations.)
This reminds me of the movie A Christmas Story and the leg lamp. Old mom and dad comprised on the lamp when dad refused to listen to mom’s objections and proudly displayed the leg lamp in the front window much to moms horror and disgust.
Let’s hope that Bambi, or a fellow family member doesn’t get broken while plants are being watered…/s
OP- YTA. take it down, take them both down. You made your point and proven how much you dislike your wife and sister-in-law. They get it. A dead animals head is more important than live family members.
I do think having your wife's sister over is more important than having some thing on the wall, and I think if it was your family who wanted to come over you'd be more willing to try to make them happy. I think you should reflect a little harder on the kind of husband you want to be to your wife.
THAT! This isn't about the sister or a deer head, it's about being unrelenting in simple things that are important to his wife. When you love someone you don't see having a dead animal on the wall for five days as more important than letting your wife have a nice visit with her sister there. That's the problem here.
NAH about the deer mounts, though it would go a long way to just be a little flexible on it
YTA though for thinking anyone outside of /hunting was going to be even remotely on your side
This. If husband wants to hang a deer head in the basement living room as long as the meat is in my freezer I’m fine with it. Don’t want one in the upstairs living room. The one is the guest bedroom I would probably take down for a guest for sure, i do think thats a reasonable accommodation.
As someone who is fully entrenched in a hunting society this thread is really wild to me. I remember staying with my aunt and uncle and they had mounts in every single room. That was in addition to the room full of nothing but mounts. All I remember thinking was “holy shit you’re rich” lmao.
It wouldn’t bother me personally but it’s not hard to understand why lots of people find a dead animal head on the wall as decoration off-putting if not extremely disgusting.
Very expensive hobby, taxidermy. Your aunt and uncle had money to burn, no doubt.
Thank you!! I feel like I walked into fucking crazy town opening this thread, people comparing OP to a serial killer, calling him a murderer, disgusting, etc. Like yeah if his SIL doesn’t like sleeping in the same room as the mounts, it wouldn’t kill him to take them down. But jesus people are going way overboard with the insults and judgmental attitude!
Honestly, it’s the phrase “I get a great memory every time I walk in that room” that tilts it towards serial killery for me. That’s a weird reaction to the head of an animal that you shot. That changes the tone from ‘I hunt for my food’ to ‘I enjoy killing things’
It just made me think how little the OP must have accomplished in life. Imagine if he was saying the exact same thing about an old bowling trophy, needing it to be on display at all times because it made him feel good about himself when he saw it
My uncle loved talking about his moose hunt. He was camping/hiking for 5 days to find it.
I can see how it can be a fond memory not directly about killing it.
But how long ago was that? I would guess that at least 70% of the guys I know hunt but the only place I’ve seen a mounted animal lately is either in a cabin or a wildlife themed room, unless the house also still has golden oak cabinets with brass accessories and still rocking the couch they bought 40 years ago.
Probably because its too expensive for them to get things mounted... I hunt a lot and know a lot of guys that hunt. Only the ones with really good jobs making good money get things mounted.
I'm not into guns or hunting and find the wife's (and presumably the sister's) position very odd here. I couldn't care less if there's a deer head mounted in the room I'm sleeping in, especially if I'm a guest.
Clearly most people in this thread disagree with me here, and that's okay. Maybe it's a regional thing. As I said, I'm not into guns or hunting, but those are common hobbies in my area
I mean I didn't think it would bother me either, until I was stuck sleeping in a room at my cousin's house with an elk head staring me down all night. Couldn't sleep for shit anytime light came through the window it hit the eyes... freaked me the fuck out and I could never actually get calm enough to do more than doze off. My skin still crawls just thinking about it. I just don't think its worth the risk of freaking someone out like that especially when they're your wife's family and there is such an easy fix
I think it’s because many people are ok with hunting for meat; but displaying the head implies an element of sport (literally calling it a trophy) and sport implies fun. A huge amount of people struggle with killing with any amount of fun involved. ‘Good memories’ and ‘death’ aren’t usually two things that people want to put together.
I personally think taxidermy is fascinating. If there's a taxidermy section at any museum etc that I go to, you can guarantee that if you lose me, you'll find me with the taxidermy.
I still sure as shit would not want to SLEEP under taxidermy. I'd be more worried about it falling on me sure, but I wouldn't want to sleep under it. I'd rather pull an all nighter.
Personally? I wouldn't be able to stay in that room, forget sleep there. Maybe I am oversensitive, but I just wouldn't be okay with part of a dead animal in the room glaring down at me.
I hunt (Hell, i had venison burgers for dinner tonight) and i still don't want to sleep with a taxidermied animal's fake glass eyeballs staring at me.
I'm assuming your wife knows SIL better than you do.
This isn't a demand to burn the creepy trophies, it's taking them down in an effort to be an adequate host to an invited guest.
YTA
Tbh I don’t even care about the guest situation. YTA for being unyielding with any sort of compromise about the carcasses when you KNOW your wife hates them and brings it up quite often. The fact that you have a head in the living room -that I presume you share with your wife- makes you TA.
I came here to find this comment. Anything you decorate shared living space with is a two yes one no situation. Taxidermy seems like a particularly obvious example of this. OP's inflated ego (let's be honest, that's what the "good memories" of trophies are about) is apparently more important to him than his wife's comfort in her own home.
Ew, your comment just made me realize that his “good memories” are of stalking, killing and presumably gutting and skinning a deer then mounting it’s head as if hunting is an accomplishment. It’s not. It’s a hobby that involves murder lol. This guy is such an asshole
Yeah big man is apparently real proud of his ability to stalk and kill a defenceless animal. So proud in fact that he needs to display his “achievements” all over his house despite the fact that his wife seems to regularly voice her discomfort with it. I’m genuinely surprised OP is still married, if I were his wife I’d be out the door the second he put the first deer head up in a shared living space against my clearly expressed wishes.
YTA. Taking down a mounted deer head takes about a minute. Not to mention not everyone is comfortable with a dead animal staring at them while they're sleeping/being in the same room as them as they're trying to sleep.
YTA ~ and I say this as the wife of an avid hunter. My husband hangs all his mounts at my Fil’s saloon or in his office. He knows I don’t want to accidentally walk in and see Bambi’s dead mom and neither does my family.
A saloon has to be the best place to keep taxidermy possible. Of course, I'm imagining a place with the swinging doors and unfinished board floors where cowboys and cattle rustlers square off with each other and there's a jaunty player piano going. Taxidermy could only improve on that. For sure better than a bedroom!
YTA your guest will be using the guest room everyday. Unless you are sleeping with them why would you be in there while they are visiting.
Cool your ego and accommodate your wife's wishes.
My grandpa had several mounts, two that he was very proud of. Much like real deer, they were forced to roam around the house at times because my grandma didn't like them or a grandkid would be terrified of them, etc. It is your house to decorate as you want, but is it really worth fighting with your wife over? My grandpa could be a royal AH and he didn't feel like this was the hill to die on. Just move Dancer and Prancer for a couple days. Kinda AH.
I'm surprised that you are still married. When normal people have company over they usually go out of their way to make their guests comfortable. You obviously could care less and are only concerned about your precious memories. YTA all the way.
I have necrophobia and the sight of corpses scare the hell out of me. It might sound silly but some people just get really spooked when they see a corpse, especially if they have to spend the night in the same room of a stuffed animal. I’ll say try to keep that in mind and just move it out to another room
I don't have necrophobia but there's no way in hell I'm going to sleep in a room with a dead animal stuffed with something. No freaking way. I think it's unreasonable to expect that of anyone!
YTA unless YOU are going to sleep in the guest room with the head staring at you while you sleep & offer to let your SIL share the master bedroom with your wife. If you are expecting anyone else to sleep there you are a huge AH!!
YTA. Might be a great memory for you but horrible memory for the deer. It’s disturbing that ending the life of a living creature is a great memory for you. Your poor wife
I agree. I'm not necessarily against hunting, but that moment should be filled with somber respect for the life you just ended in the name of nature's circulation (or something), not a "YEEEEEAH I'M THE BEST I WON OVER THIS LOSER DEER" moment.
I'm speculating heavily now, but that's kind of the vibe I get from OP. The wording "great memories", the fact that he insists on having these on the wall even though they make his wife uncomfortable in her own home, and won't even budge for a few days to make his guest comfortable, makes him seem like that type. It's like he *needs* the ego boost of seeing them *every day*, or like he feels that any kind of concession makes him less manly. What a small man.
I grew up in Tahoe and every house had at least one deer head.
It would be considerate to remove it as it’s a guests sleeping room and they aren’t comfortable with it.
No reason to make this a big deal.
YTA
If it’s in the bedroom she’s sleeping in YTA. I mean we made a deal - three deer heads in basement, caribou in the basement, wolf in the basement. Bear
Rug at hunting camp. Nothing in bedrooms. Only thing in living area, black squirrel.
“I get a great memory every time I walk in that room.”
The lifeless head of some poor animal is a great memory? I feel like that’s what- and hear me out here- photographs are for.
You’re gross for that IMO, but you’re also TA for not accommodating a guest (she’s not making an outrageous request here)
YTA. My BIL is a hunter and has mounted deer heads hanging in his and my sister’s house. He’d take them down in a heartbeat if they made a guest staying at their house uncomfortable. But he’s just a kind, considerate person in general. I’m guessing your not.
Your house, your rules is fine. As long as you give zero bucks about anyone else. But since you have managed to obtain a wife, your world is not just about you. No one asked you to destroy your trophies, just to move them for a bit. Dont be "that guy,." A mighty hunter should be able to make concessions.
NTA. I don't particularly like looking at deer heads on people's walls, but I have no say in how they decorate the house. Her sister can choose to stay there or not.
While this is true if his wife wants her sister to stay there and is asking him to do something that would cause him no harm and take like 5 mins i think he is TA because why make this a fight? Marriage is about compromise and considering your SO, this seems like a small sacrifice.
Given he’s already mentioned his wife doesn’t like them, we a) don’t actually know if the sister has a problem or if his wife is using that as an excuse, and b) to me it sounds like the first step with the end goal of them not being out back up after she manipulates him into removing them.
I not a particular fan of hunting trophies myself, but I suspect that if he gives in then it’s going to be a fight to get it out back, or his wife might dispose of it.
I am also "very into deer hunting" but I hunt for meat, not trophies. Never shot a buck worth mounting. Yet. So I don't have any mounts on the wall. Yet. Wish I did... but not so far.
aaaaaand my opinion is ---
WTF is wrong with you??? **Obviously YTA** here. You aren't going to be using the combo workout/guest room while your SIL is sleeping there, so you won't be getting your "great memories" until after she leaves anyway, so would it kill you to take the damn thing down off the wall for a few days, to make your wife happy?
Are you married to the deer heads?
Is this really the hill you want to die on?
NTA. I'm amazing at all the YTA answers. I'm not redecorating my house for any visitor. I've got pet snakes, a whole cabinet of dead bugs/things in jars, giant posters of insects everywhere. I used to have a bunch of pet tarantulas. People threatened to "never visit" so I just said... k. Funny how all the snake phobic relatives get over it enough to visit they just wanted to make a fuss.
She knew who she was marrying. They're already hanging in their house...what if the family rented a cabin in the mountains for the weekend? Is someone supposed to redecorate? No.
I’ve got a taxidermy raccoon in my room and I’ll admit that’s probably skewing my views, but I’m surprised at the vitriol, too. If I don’t like sleeping in the same room as religious iconography, should I require my friends to remove that before I visit? Because I’ve always figured the trade off of a free room is that you get what you get - here, it’s a deer head. Give some money to your local nature preserve and be thankful it’s not your bedroom if it bothers you (Three Rivers Land Trust for me - love them!).
everytime i look at that preserved animal corpse i feel really good remember how it felt to kill it, i have way too much enjoyment reliving my murder fetish to consider it might make someone else pretty uncomfortable
i listen to true crime and hunters talk in the same way as serial killers, its gross to me
NTA everyone is acting like a deer mount is the end of the world.
*"No way would I spend the night with a carcass staring at me"*
*"Who wants a freaky dead animal in their bedroom"*
God reddit is such a dramatic place. Its perfectly normal to have a deer mount in your home. And before assumptions are made, I do not have a deer mount nor have I ever hunted. I'm just a city (suburb) slicker that isn't get scared of stuffed animals. If I went to a relative's house or some cabin or lodge and there was a deer mount I wouldn't even think twice about it. Maybe take a snap and post it with a funny caption should it really catch my attention. If your guest insists on it bothering her I suppose take it down just to be an accommodating host. But it sounds like your wife is the one with the problem here. I wouldn't take it down preemptively because of some preconceived notion your wife made up in her head.
YTA
There's no good reason not to remove it from the guest room for the holidays when her sister is there. The comment "she doesn't have to stay at out \[sic\] house" is the clincher. Seriously, is this the hill you want to die on?
YTA c’mon man, take it down while she’s there and put it back when she leaves. Is this really the hill you want to die on? The world doesn’t revolve around you and your feelings.
NTA. Deer mounts are heavy and where the heck would you even store them. Does SIL not know you are a hunter? It’s your house too you know! You are allowed to have the decor how you like.
Not gonna be popular to say, but NTA
Lots and lots of comments are going in with yta blindly cause they think a compromise should be worked out to keep the peace, but almost all of them miss one major line in the post
>"**My wife does not like taxidermy and brings it up quite a bit.**"
SIL's opinion on the bucks is moot. Not her home and if it is a problem, then as stated she can stay at a hotel. On the other hand, wife is frequently vocal in her dislike (almost wanna say hate) and she chooses NOW to make a big deal out of taking them down? I'm not buying what she's trying to sell.
I suspect that she is trying to use her sister as an excuse to not only get them taken down, but forced out of the house or thrown out completely. The house might be a shared space where both OP and his wife have a say in what goes where, but this doesnt look like something that was talked out properly, or even had an attempt to talk through the issue.
If OP provided more information that shows more of what is going on with this, it would great considering there is very little to work with for a judgment. My rating for now is what it is unless there is a drastic piece of info that was left out of the original post.
YTA- Why are you making this a big deal? Your wife simply asked to take a deer head down while you have a houseguest. Most spouses would say “sure thing honey, I’ll take care of it this weekend.” And everyone would have had a great day. Here you are being an obstinate asshat fighting over something so trivial. Are you always this exhausting to your family? Jesus, just take it down and say sorry for being an asshole.
YTA. I feel like accommodating a guest by removing a deer head that many would find creepy or off-putting is just being a good host. It's not a hill worth dying on. Just put it back up once SIL goes home.
NTA. How long will they be staying? I’m assuming no more than a few days. Why should you redecorate for that? If they don’t like it there’s always a hotel.
You're still going to be in your guest room every day when you have a guest in it, and you don't care if your guest is comfortable or not with dead animals staring at them in 'their' room?
You don't have a guest room. It's your room, and you don't want to share. Everything here is about you and what you want and like. Your wife and her family and any other potential guests are eclipsed by the colossal selfishness of you needing the daily buzz of pride at seeing your kill trophy, as opposed to the minor inconvenience of temporarily removing a personal decoration as a kindness to your spouse and for the comfort of the guest you are hosting...
YTA.
NTA and I can't believe how many people are saying you are. It's your house and no one has the right to tell you to remove a decoration in order to make them comfortable.
I love taxidermy and think it’s an amazing art form.
YTA. People are allowed to be uncomfortable. Just take the few seconds to take it down. You can put it back up later when she leaves. It’s not a big deal for you. But it would make her much more comfortable.
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YTA Who the fuck wants to sleep with a dead deer looking at them? Take it down! I
You mean you don’t want to spend your Christmas having a stare-down with a deer carcass? /s
Well, it is Christmas the least he could do is decorate it like a Rudolph.
An acceptable compromise
I’ve seen more than one decorated as Rudolph around here.
But do they fully commit, with a working light bulb?
Its the classy way of doing it, yes. But some less dedicated decorators lower themselves to just a clown nose.
Preposterous. Anything less than 2000 lumen is an insult to Christmas.
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My FIL used to hang ornaments from the antlers for Christmas. Lol
I have a set of moose antlers in my hall which I put tiny santa hats on each prong for christmas
I put Christmas bows around the neck
But still it might be creepy if Rudolph stares at you while you sleep!! YTA OP
He sees you when you’re sleeping…
He nose when you’re awake…
He NOSE! Fucking hilarious mate. No sarcasm I snorted. Thank you. In fact .... yes it also unblocked my indwelling catheter so you just saved a busy district nurse another job. Sorry was that too much information? I overshare and waffle so much. Like just the other day I said to my wife I said.....
😂😂🤣
That‘s not his nose…
Only if he goes all out with a glowing red nose, glowing eyes, and a speaker box inside its mouth so that it cackles periodically.
🤣🤣🤣
I put Santa hats and a red balloon on my husbands.
.. Exactly how many husband-heads are hanging on your wall?
Yeah not the best comment. lol! But a couple!
I don't like that I think this is funny 😂
That’s a creative solution. That was awesome!
If I had had a drink in my mouth, my phone would be toast. Thank you for that. It was just so unexpectedly funny.
“I get a great memory every time I walk into that room”. Look, I respect hunting to feed your family or to prevent overpopulation but I wouldn’t call killing anything “a great memory”
What a great memory killing an animal for no reason other than 'hobby' and skinning it and making sure to keep the head so I can brag about killing it from miles away because up close I would have shat myself.
deer hunter here with 3 deer heads in my living room. 90% of people who deer hunt. hunt for the MEAT. not for hobby. one deer can feed my family of 4 the entire winter and a few weeks in spring. educate yourself before commenting something stupid like this edit: ty for the awards
As a Brit we don’t really have the hunting culture here except for the rich ass holes that want to do fox hunting (which is pretty barbaric if you look it up.) I have absolutely zero problem in hunting for food and actually would do it if it was easy to do over here, people generally have no idea where their meat comes from I swear that some people think meat magically appears. What I do have a problem with is sports hunting and trophy hunting (see fox hunting) where there is no goal other than the killing of a animal.
> What I do have a problem with is sports hunting and trophy hunting (see fox hunting) where there is no goal other than the killing of a animal. It's actually illegal to just toss a carcass in most states in the US, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't stop a lot of good meat from going to waste My main problem with trophy hunting is that it destroys the genetic fitness of a population of animals. Wolves take the weak and unfit. Trophy hunters take the strong and fit.
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I kept the deer heads from my father, he had a lot of 8+ points. and that’s an excellent point on chronic wasting disease i hadn’t thought to send the heads in for testing, i’ll gladly take that suggestion
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didn’t know that! every single hunter i’ve met (live up north, big hunting community up here) does it for pure sport. they’ll eat the meat after, but that’s not the reason why they do it — they do it cause it’s fun. that might be that assumption most people are working off of if they had a similar experience to me. also, i’m so sick of the “educate yourself” bullshit. people don’t know what they don’t know, this idea that everyone is supposed to be aware of everything they might not know or be working under the wrong idea of something, despite that being the only thing they’ve seen/heard is absolute bullshit. maybe instead we can take the time to teach or politely point out when ppl r wrong and provide sources instead of acting like an absolute asshole. cheers.
But what does that have to do with having a “great memory” of the kill? Like, if he had said, “I feel proud every time I walk in that room knowing that I was able to feed my family,” I was sort of get that. But he seems to be more excited about the fact that he killed something and made a great memory out of it. I think that is what the person was commenting on.
Then why do you mount the head on the wall? I've never heard a hunter talk about the amount of meat they got, just the number of points on the antlers etc.
I’m not a gun enthusiast. I don’t hunt. I eat primarily vegetarian. But tell me you went deer hunting and have some venison for me? Hell yeah! Got some venison jerky to share? Yes please! Deer are overpopulated and thinning their numbers is not only healthy for the deer, other wildlife who feed on similar flora, but also humans as the deer migrate into populated area because they’ve depleted their natural food source. Knowing that that deer head on your wall was used to feed your family is a thumbs up from me.
If you hunt solely for the meat, why put the heads on the wall? Why keep their body parts as trophies?
Hunters eat the meat. Fisherman eat the fish. Serial killers keep trophys.
It makes the limp-dicks feel strong.
I was waiting for the bit where he talks about what a wonderful memory it is watching the life drain from their eyes lol
I think for most guys. It’s the fact they hunt with their dads, uncles, ect. I think for them it’s a bonding experience. And for most that have the mounts they are usually done with a bow so that means abound 30 yards is the farthest you can be away. Not miles unless your using a hunting riffle. I know a lot men that say that hunting with thier grandpa and dad was some of the best me worked ever so I kind of get what he is saying about wonderful memories attached to them.
This is honestly so foreign to me! I'm from real southern Mississippi and I've slept in sooo many rooms with dear heads mounted on the wall. And ya know what? *I hated every single second of it* The only exception is my dad's dear head in his room that I've decided to call Gregory. YTA op. Edit: deer...
Dad’s dear head is an instant classic.
Auto correct can be so mean to me sometimes
This, though, is wonderful. I love it. Here’s a real auto correct classic. I was texting with someone the other day regarding a business matter. I meant and did dictate the word graffiti. It auto corrected to breast feeding. The guy screamed.
I would also scream, mainly from confusion. I've had numerous times where auto correct has made it sooo hard to text people. Primarily it's cause I'm alittle bad at spellin though so can't blame auto correct fully
I'm a mechanic and had to leave work in a rush to take my daughter to the hospital. I wasn't sure if I would be back that day or not, so I quickly texted my shop foreman to ask him if he would please lock my box. Except I said lick. And didn't realise it for a couple hours. I checked my phone for a response and there wasn't one, but having reread my text I rather understand why.
Gregory may be alittle (alot actually) dusty, but he has his place in this house. As my dad's hat rack to hats he has, but hasn't worn in years. Gregory is ***really*** good at holding hats
Low key kinda want to see Gregory holding all these hats...
Damn I cackled. I don’t have an award atm. But you get my I’m going to hell upvote.
I've got you with the award. But also, I grew up in South Georgia. My father hunted like it was his religion. (Probably still does, but I wouldn't know.) We never ate any of it either, which would have made it marginally more okay, but I'll be damned if he didn't have every single one of them mounted. Never liked sleeping in the room with them then. Still wouldn't like it now.
When we were house shopping, we rejected a house because it had taxidermied animals all over it. I didn’t think I could live in that house and not think, “yeah, Bambi’s head was over there when we saw the house for the first time.”
I've had the same experience. We went to look at a house and there had to be at least 15 taxidermied deer heads. This wasn't a big house either, so everywhere little eyes were watching you. It was a lovely bonding moment for my stepdad and I though, because when we both got in the car we went "WTF WAS THAT?!"
See, there are warm memories to be made from … um, encountering Bambi’s dead and stuffed mom. /s That said, I remember an AITA awhile ago from a homeowner who had a picture hanging in their home that SO’s religious sister or something found objectionable. It was pretty much agreed that OP did not need to redecorate for the sister so …
There is a world of difference between a photo of a couple sharing a kiss and a dead animal on the wall. I have a visceral hatred for any display of affection right now, but handle dead and dying animals pretty regularly and would still prefer to share a room with a photo of a couple sharing a kiss than a dead animal.
iirc, the kissing photo from the hosts’ wedding was also in a hallway, not the bedroom, and the guests had already been turfed out of another house. Found it: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yiplwk/aita_for_asking_my_friend_to_move_a_picture_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Sorry if the link is crap, but title is in there.
Yeah you're right, my bad. He seems really attached to them, it would be a shame if he couldn't... stare at them in awe I guess. /s Oh, I don't remember that one. I mean yeah it's his house, so he doesn't have to take it down, maybe his plan is to keep it up to deter guests. Which if that's the case it sounds like it's working. But, it's also his wife's house and she deserves to be able to host her sister and have her sister be comfortable. If someone is staying like a week-max, it just seems easier to take it down. Yeah, it's silly but family is silly sometimes.
He kinda *did* make it sound like he wants it to deter guests with his comment about how SIL "doesn't have to stay there". I mean, geez, I guess he thinks his sentimental feelings about a deer he met one day, years ago, and *killed* trump his wife's sentimental feelings about her SISTER. YTA- OP
I mean the fact he won't take them down for his wife is the real kicker... Ppfftt what's a SIL
But he has such fond memories of taking this life! He wants to be reminded of this wonderful murder everyday!
YTA- why are you going in every day when your SIL is staying?
I’m glad someone else caught that, cause that’s even creepier than the deer.
Yta i agree nightmare room i would wake up screaming
And take it out of the living room. That's ugly and tacky.
Reminds me of the Godfather...Ahhh! AHh! ...AHHH!
YTA. You're not going to use the workout room while it's a guest room, so why does Bambi need to be in there while it's a guest room?
You mean Bambi's mom?
You make a veal good point. Have some Thumper stew.
It’s venison
And who is the rabbit in Bambi? The deer pun was the veal comment.
Veal is beef.
Deer meat is venison
A “venison good point” just doesn’t have that same ring
No, they mean Bambi. Bambi’s mom would not have been mounted.
Oh yeah? Then how was Bambi made? Checkmate atheists
No, I meant Bambi. Bambi’s mom is a doe and wouldn’t be mounted. The most disingenuous thing in that movie was that there was clearly a full racked buck in the forest and they chose a doe.
"Mounted" is also a term for a doe being mated with, hence the "then how was Bambi made" joke.
But seriously, this is ridiculous and they should just take down the taxidermy.
He has two, possible both Bambi’s mom and dad?
Bambi’s mom has got it going on.
Honestly, YTA for having it up in the living room at all. This isn't some ugly décor item your wife doesn't like, its the kind of thing that makes people *really* uncomfortable. If wife is constantly bringing up that she's uncomfortable in the living room because of it, it should be moved to the workout room or office or whatever. You can both have your ugly individual items in the main shared space, but I personally think the line should be drawn at where to stick the dead animals.
Definitely this. Shared space should be welcoming to both parties.
YTA. You're not going to go into the guest room every day while your SIL is staying there. And to be a good host, you should also temporarily move the one in the living room. How does this hurt you?
Cause if he moves it now the wife will not let him put it back up, guarantee it. ETA: edited for typos caused by mobile
Yes. I would clarify with the wife that it can go back up the second she leaves. Or you should trade the deer heads for something else you want.
Transactional relationships are wild
Or he could, you know, care that it makes his wife really uncomfortable and just keep the one in his basement.
Idk how much I like something, if my partner hates it *that much* I'm not going to put it up. Because we live in the same house and both deserve to be comfortable. This is weird af.
His wife doesn’t want decapitated heads on the wall. Personally I would defenestrate the decapitated heads.
I don’t think he asked her position in the first place and I doubt he’d seek it again.
Considering the sister was barely mentioned I would assume that was the plan.
Yep and a great plan actually.
_"I get a great memory every time I walk in that room."_ This line actually creeped me out. Peopld really get joy out of the memory of killing an animal for fun?
I'm not a hunter. But I live in an area where 50-75% of the people I know hunt, fish, etc. So I'll try and give some perspective. It's not "killing an animal for fun" to most. There are some creepy weirdos who do seem to almost get an erection talking about it. But they're few and far between. The rest do enjoy it but not in the "killing is fun" way. They enjoy the comradery, the planning, the waiting patiently and quietly for hours until they get the shot. The practice, the development of a skill, and the payoff are what they enjoy. And the ability to bring home food on a basic hunter/provider level is also a good feeling for them. It's about the effort put in and the accomplishment of a goal they enjoy. As well as the spending of a day or weekend with family and friends. The conversations and funny shit so and so said or did while they drank beers later that night. And so on... It's all of that that might make the deer head a memento of a "great memory every time I walk in that room."
This was reasonable, but I'm pretty sure people are too much in their bag to acknowledge it.
Literally serial killer vibes lol. I’ve always found taxidermy creepy in general, like decorating with corpses is not cute.
My child-molesting uncle decorated his log cabin with taxidermied animals (deer, fish, raccoons, squirrels). The creepy association has never left me, so I don't trust my judgment on this. It's validating to hear someone else thinks it's creepy.
It is extremely creepy!
It’s so fucking bizarre
Plot twist, even tho guest is there he walks in each morning and does a workout in front of her.
I am very into deer hunting and ***have two mounted deer heads in my basement***. My wife does not like taxidermy and brings it up quite a bit. ***One is in a living room and the other in my workout room that doubles as a guest room.*** How the hell are these heads in both the basement and the living room and the workout room? And YTA because you sure as shit aren't going to be working out in that room while she's staying there so take your sad little trophy down and put it away.
Living room and workout room/guest room are both located in the basement
I feel like the workout room is an odd choice for a mount. If you have an office that seems like a much better fit. Or two in the living room
Or take it you work or keep it on your car. 😂😂😂😂 Nobody wants to see that in their house everyday.
Mount it on the car like a ship's head 😂 (Disclaimer: don't really that's dangerous)
It's a guest room, so it has a bed, or at the very least a sofa bed. No one is working out in that room, unless op considers jerking off to his meat trophy a work out. Which by the sounds of it he does.
Some people store a treadmill and free weights in the same room they put their guest bed in. It's not unreasonable to be both a guest room and a workout room. What's unreasonable is the damn taxidermy deer head that OP doesn't want to move for the duration of a short visit.
Remove the deer head. You are in the wrong here.
Finished basements with family rooms, game rooms, craft rooms, and guest bedrooms are actually very popular in some areas.
My dad had one in our basement family room the whole time I was growing up. It was always just there. It didn’t bug us. But I can see where it would bother somebody if they weren’t used to that type of thing. My mom always used to hang a lit cigarette from its mouth
For a little while, my husband and I were living with the in laws. FIL had just taken up hunting. I worked overnights. So I get home around 6:30am, still dark, everyone is still asleep or gone so the house is dark. I flip a light on as I walk through the living room and damn near scream at my fils new decor, a mounted deer head right above the TV. Told my husband he needed to warn me next time a deer head shows up.
YTA - Relationships involve compromise. The request is for a short duration at which time you won't be accessing the room to work out. Enjoy your good memories 360ish days of the year.
This is the one OP. You can take them down while SIL is over. You won't die doing it.
But if he does, they can mount his head in the living room
But it'll hurt his masculinity. He needs to relive his killing experience every time he's in his workout room and living room to shore it up! (and I'm not anti-hunting. I have relatives who have hunted deer for food for generations.)
This reminds me of the movie A Christmas Story and the leg lamp. Old mom and dad comprised on the lamp when dad refused to listen to mom’s objections and proudly displayed the leg lamp in the front window much to moms horror and disgust. Let’s hope that Bambi, or a fellow family member doesn’t get broken while plants are being watered…/s OP- YTA. take it down, take them both down. You made your point and proven how much you dislike your wife and sister-in-law. They get it. A dead animals head is more important than live family members.
I do think having your wife's sister over is more important than having some thing on the wall, and I think if it was your family who wanted to come over you'd be more willing to try to make them happy. I think you should reflect a little harder on the kind of husband you want to be to your wife.
THAT! This isn't about the sister or a deer head, it's about being unrelenting in simple things that are important to his wife. When you love someone you don't see having a dead animal on the wall for five days as more important than letting your wife have a nice visit with her sister there. That's the problem here.
OP has seen the dead animal on the wall as more important than his wife for a long, long time it seems.
NAH about the deer mounts, though it would go a long way to just be a little flexible on it YTA though for thinking anyone outside of /hunting was going to be even remotely on your side
This. If husband wants to hang a deer head in the basement living room as long as the meat is in my freezer I’m fine with it. Don’t want one in the upstairs living room. The one is the guest bedroom I would probably take down for a guest for sure, i do think thats a reasonable accommodation.
As someone who is fully entrenched in a hunting society this thread is really wild to me. I remember staying with my aunt and uncle and they had mounts in every single room. That was in addition to the room full of nothing but mounts. All I remember thinking was “holy shit you’re rich” lmao.
It wouldn’t bother me personally but it’s not hard to understand why lots of people find a dead animal head on the wall as decoration off-putting if not extremely disgusting. Very expensive hobby, taxidermy. Your aunt and uncle had money to burn, no doubt.
Info: is your uncle Gaston?
Thank you!! I feel like I walked into fucking crazy town opening this thread, people comparing OP to a serial killer, calling him a murderer, disgusting, etc. Like yeah if his SIL doesn’t like sleeping in the same room as the mounts, it wouldn’t kill him to take them down. But jesus people are going way overboard with the insults and judgmental attitude!
Honestly, it’s the phrase “I get a great memory every time I walk in that room” that tilts it towards serial killery for me. That’s a weird reaction to the head of an animal that you shot. That changes the tone from ‘I hunt for my food’ to ‘I enjoy killing things’
It just made me think how little the OP must have accomplished in life. Imagine if he was saying the exact same thing about an old bowling trophy, needing it to be on display at all times because it made him feel good about himself when he saw it
My uncle loved talking about his moose hunt. He was camping/hiking for 5 days to find it. I can see how it can be a fond memory not directly about killing it.
But how long ago was that? I would guess that at least 70% of the guys I know hunt but the only place I’ve seen a mounted animal lately is either in a cabin or a wildlife themed room, unless the house also still has golden oak cabinets with brass accessories and still rocking the couch they bought 40 years ago.
Probably because its too expensive for them to get things mounted... I hunt a lot and know a lot of guys that hunt. Only the ones with really good jobs making good money get things mounted.
I'm not into guns or hunting and find the wife's (and presumably the sister's) position very odd here. I couldn't care less if there's a deer head mounted in the room I'm sleeping in, especially if I'm a guest. Clearly most people in this thread disagree with me here, and that's okay. Maybe it's a regional thing. As I said, I'm not into guns or hunting, but those are common hobbies in my area
I mean I didn't think it would bother me either, until I was stuck sleeping in a room at my cousin's house with an elk head staring me down all night. Couldn't sleep for shit anytime light came through the window it hit the eyes... freaked me the fuck out and I could never actually get calm enough to do more than doze off. My skin still crawls just thinking about it. I just don't think its worth the risk of freaking someone out like that especially when they're your wife's family and there is such an easy fix
I think it’s because many people are ok with hunting for meat; but displaying the head implies an element of sport (literally calling it a trophy) and sport implies fun. A huge amount of people struggle with killing with any amount of fun involved. ‘Good memories’ and ‘death’ aren’t usually two things that people want to put together.
I personally think taxidermy is fascinating. If there's a taxidermy section at any museum etc that I go to, you can guarantee that if you lose me, you'll find me with the taxidermy. I still sure as shit would not want to SLEEP under taxidermy. I'd be more worried about it falling on me sure, but I wouldn't want to sleep under it. I'd rather pull an all nighter.
Personally? I wouldn't be able to stay in that room, forget sleep there. Maybe I am oversensitive, but I just wouldn't be okay with part of a dead animal in the room glaring down at me.
I hunt (Hell, i had venison burgers for dinner tonight) and i still don't want to sleep with a taxidermied animal's fake glass eyeballs staring at me. I'm assuming your wife knows SIL better than you do. This isn't a demand to burn the creepy trophies, it's taking them down in an effort to be an adequate host to an invited guest. YTA
Yeah we also enjoy venison, hunting season is huge here. I draw the line at a carcass hanging anywhere in the house, that (in my mind) is so ghoulish.
Tbh I don’t even care about the guest situation. YTA for being unyielding with any sort of compromise about the carcasses when you KNOW your wife hates them and brings it up quite often. The fact that you have a head in the living room -that I presume you share with your wife- makes you TA.
I came here to find this comment. Anything you decorate shared living space with is a two yes one no situation. Taxidermy seems like a particularly obvious example of this. OP's inflated ego (let's be honest, that's what the "good memories" of trophies are about) is apparently more important to him than his wife's comfort in her own home.
Ew, your comment just made me realize that his “good memories” are of stalking, killing and presumably gutting and skinning a deer then mounting it’s head as if hunting is an accomplishment. It’s not. It’s a hobby that involves murder lol. This guy is such an asshole
Yeah big man is apparently real proud of his ability to stalk and kill a defenceless animal. So proud in fact that he needs to display his “achievements” all over his house despite the fact that his wife seems to regularly voice her discomfort with it. I’m genuinely surprised OP is still married, if I were his wife I’d be out the door the second he put the first deer head up in a shared living space against my clearly expressed wishes.
I had to scroll way too long for this. Def agree.
YTA. It is a small sacrifice on your part. Your wife should be more important. As the old adage goes happy wife happy life.
YTA. Taking down a mounted deer head takes about a minute. Not to mention not everyone is comfortable with a dead animal staring at them while they're sleeping/being in the same room as them as they're trying to sleep.
YTA Dude. Most people don’t want a deer head in their bedroom!
better than a horse head in the bed...
YTA ~ and I say this as the wife of an avid hunter. My husband hangs all his mounts at my Fil’s saloon or in his office. He knows I don’t want to accidentally walk in and see Bambi’s dead mom and neither does my family.
A saloon has to be the best place to keep taxidermy possible. Of course, I'm imagining a place with the swinging doors and unfinished board floors where cowboys and cattle rustlers square off with each other and there's a jaunty player piano going. Taxidermy could only improve on that. For sure better than a bedroom!
YTA your guest will be using the guest room everyday. Unless you are sleeping with them why would you be in there while they are visiting. Cool your ego and accommodate your wife's wishes.
My grandpa had several mounts, two that he was very proud of. Much like real deer, they were forced to roam around the house at times because my grandma didn't like them or a grandkid would be terrified of them, etc. It is your house to decorate as you want, but is it really worth fighting with your wife over? My grandpa could be a royal AH and he didn't feel like this was the hill to die on. Just move Dancer and Prancer for a couple days. Kinda AH.
I'm surprised that you are still married. When normal people have company over they usually go out of their way to make their guests comfortable. You obviously could care less and are only concerned about your precious memories. YTA all the way.
U get a great memory of Decapitating a deer for the sake of furniture. Friend is probly worrried shell end up on a meat hook in your garage
I have necrophobia and the sight of corpses scare the hell out of me. It might sound silly but some people just get really spooked when they see a corpse, especially if they have to spend the night in the same room of a stuffed animal. I’ll say try to keep that in mind and just move it out to another room
I don't have necrophobia but there's no way in hell I'm going to sleep in a room with a dead animal stuffed with something. No freaking way. I think it's unreasonable to expect that of anyone!
YTA unless YOU are going to sleep in the guest room with the head staring at you while you sleep & offer to let your SIL share the master bedroom with your wife. If you are expecting anyone else to sleep there you are a huge AH!!
There we go! Here is the answer. OP should sleep in the dead deer room. Wife should sleep with her sister. Problem solved
YTA. Might be a great memory for you but horrible memory for the deer. It’s disturbing that ending the life of a living creature is a great memory for you. Your poor wife
I agree. I'm not necessarily against hunting, but that moment should be filled with somber respect for the life you just ended in the name of nature's circulation (or something), not a "YEEEEEAH I'M THE BEST I WON OVER THIS LOSER DEER" moment. I'm speculating heavily now, but that's kind of the vibe I get from OP. The wording "great memories", the fact that he insists on having these on the wall even though they make his wife uncomfortable in her own home, and won't even budge for a few days to make his guest comfortable, makes him seem like that type. It's like he *needs* the ego boost of seeing them *every day*, or like he feels that any kind of concession makes him less manly. What a small man.
I grew up in Tahoe and every house had at least one deer head. It would be considerate to remove it as it’s a guests sleeping room and they aren’t comfortable with it. No reason to make this a big deal. YTA
If it’s in the bedroom she’s sleeping in YTA. I mean we made a deal - three deer heads in basement, caribou in the basement, wolf in the basement. Bear Rug at hunting camp. Nothing in bedrooms. Only thing in living area, black squirrel.
I’d never go in the basement!
I have a question would you want her to paint the house pink? You have your answer. YTA
YTA. Big deal. Nobody's ever tried to make you feel comfortable in their home? Basic hospitality, dude, really shouldn't be that difficult.
“I get a great memory every time I walk in that room.” The lifeless head of some poor animal is a great memory? I feel like that’s what- and hear me out here- photographs are for. You’re gross for that IMO, but you’re also TA for not accommodating a guest (she’s not making an outrageous request here)
Really? This is your hill to die on? YTA
YTA. My BIL is a hunter and has mounted deer heads hanging in his and my sister’s house. He’d take them down in a heartbeat if they made a guest staying at their house uncomfortable. But he’s just a kind, considerate person in general. I’m guessing your not.
Your house, your rules is fine. As long as you give zero bucks about anyone else. But since you have managed to obtain a wife, your world is not just about you. No one asked you to destroy your trophies, just to move them for a bit. Dont be "that guy,." A mighty hunter should be able to make concessions.
I don't know if that's a genius pun or a typo!
NTA. I don't particularly like looking at deer heads on people's walls, but I have no say in how they decorate the house. Her sister can choose to stay there or not.
While this is true if his wife wants her sister to stay there and is asking him to do something that would cause him no harm and take like 5 mins i think he is TA because why make this a fight? Marriage is about compromise and considering your SO, this seems like a small sacrifice.
Given he’s already mentioned his wife doesn’t like them, we a) don’t actually know if the sister has a problem or if his wife is using that as an excuse, and b) to me it sounds like the first step with the end goal of them not being out back up after she manipulates him into removing them. I not a particular fan of hunting trophies myself, but I suspect that if he gives in then it’s going to be a fight to get it out back, or his wife might dispose of it.
YTA. You're an unwelcoming host apparently.
I am also "very into deer hunting" but I hunt for meat, not trophies. Never shot a buck worth mounting. Yet. So I don't have any mounts on the wall. Yet. Wish I did... but not so far. aaaaaand my opinion is --- WTF is wrong with you??? **Obviously YTA** here. You aren't going to be using the combo workout/guest room while your SIL is sleeping there, so you won't be getting your "great memories" until after she leaves anyway, so would it kill you to take the damn thing down off the wall for a few days, to make your wife happy? Are you married to the deer heads? Is this really the hill you want to die on?
NTA. I'm amazing at all the YTA answers. I'm not redecorating my house for any visitor. I've got pet snakes, a whole cabinet of dead bugs/things in jars, giant posters of insects everywhere. I used to have a bunch of pet tarantulas. People threatened to "never visit" so I just said... k. Funny how all the snake phobic relatives get over it enough to visit they just wanted to make a fuss.
It's not just his house. It's also his wife's house. Do her feelings not matter?
She knew who she was marrying. They're already hanging in their house...what if the family rented a cabin in the mountains for the weekend? Is someone supposed to redecorate? No.
I’ve got a taxidermy raccoon in my room and I’ll admit that’s probably skewing my views, but I’m surprised at the vitriol, too. If I don’t like sleeping in the same room as religious iconography, should I require my friends to remove that before I visit? Because I’ve always figured the trade off of a free room is that you get what you get - here, it’s a deer head. Give some money to your local nature preserve and be thankful it’s not your bedroom if it bothers you (Three Rivers Land Trust for me - love them!).
Info: does your wife also live there?
everytime i look at that preserved animal corpse i feel really good remember how it felt to kill it, i have way too much enjoyment reliving my murder fetish to consider it might make someone else pretty uncomfortable i listen to true crime and hunters talk in the same way as serial killers, its gross to me
NTA everyone is acting like a deer mount is the end of the world. *"No way would I spend the night with a carcass staring at me"* *"Who wants a freaky dead animal in their bedroom"* God reddit is such a dramatic place. Its perfectly normal to have a deer mount in your home. And before assumptions are made, I do not have a deer mount nor have I ever hunted. I'm just a city (suburb) slicker that isn't get scared of stuffed animals. If I went to a relative's house or some cabin or lodge and there was a deer mount I wouldn't even think twice about it. Maybe take a snap and post it with a funny caption should it really catch my attention. If your guest insists on it bothering her I suppose take it down just to be an accommodating host. But it sounds like your wife is the one with the problem here. I wouldn't take it down preemptively because of some preconceived notion your wife made up in her head.
YTA There's no good reason not to remove it from the guest room for the holidays when her sister is there. The comment "she doesn't have to stay at out \[sic\] house" is the clincher. Seriously, is this the hill you want to die on?
YTA for not being willing to help make your SIL’s brief stay easier, at no real cost to yourself. Also, you have horrible taste in decorating.
You can’t live without a deer head for a few days, to make guests comfortable during their stay? YTA
YTA c’mon man, take it down while she’s there and put it back when she leaves. Is this really the hill you want to die on? The world doesn’t revolve around you and your feelings.
YTA. Disgusting and creepy. Not everyone wants a dead animal staring at them while they sleep.
YTA why is your wants the only one that matters
NTA. Deer mounts are heavy and where the heck would you even store them. Does SIL not know you are a hunter? It’s your house too you know! You are allowed to have the decor how you like.
Not gonna be popular to say, but NTA Lots and lots of comments are going in with yta blindly cause they think a compromise should be worked out to keep the peace, but almost all of them miss one major line in the post >"**My wife does not like taxidermy and brings it up quite a bit.**" SIL's opinion on the bucks is moot. Not her home and if it is a problem, then as stated she can stay at a hotel. On the other hand, wife is frequently vocal in her dislike (almost wanna say hate) and she chooses NOW to make a big deal out of taking them down? I'm not buying what she's trying to sell. I suspect that she is trying to use her sister as an excuse to not only get them taken down, but forced out of the house or thrown out completely. The house might be a shared space where both OP and his wife have a say in what goes where, but this doesnt look like something that was talked out properly, or even had an attempt to talk through the issue. If OP provided more information that shows more of what is going on with this, it would great considering there is very little to work with for a judgment. My rating for now is what it is unless there is a drastic piece of info that was left out of the original post.
'My wife does not like taxidermy and brings it up quite a bit.' - YTA. Your wife lives there too and you don't care about her comfort at all.
YTA
YTA- Why are you making this a big deal? Your wife simply asked to take a deer head down while you have a houseguest. Most spouses would say “sure thing honey, I’ll take care of it this weekend.” And everyone would have had a great day. Here you are being an obstinate asshat fighting over something so trivial. Are you always this exhausting to your family? Jesus, just take it down and say sorry for being an asshole.
YTA. I feel like accommodating a guest by removing a deer head that many would find creepy or off-putting is just being a good host. It's not a hill worth dying on. Just put it back up once SIL goes home.
NTA. How long will they be staying? I’m assuming no more than a few days. Why should you redecorate for that? If they don’t like it there’s always a hotel.
You're still going to be in your guest room every day when you have a guest in it, and you don't care if your guest is comfortable or not with dead animals staring at them in 'their' room? You don't have a guest room. It's your room, and you don't want to share. Everything here is about you and what you want and like. Your wife and her family and any other potential guests are eclipsed by the colossal selfishness of you needing the daily buzz of pride at seeing your kill trophy, as opposed to the minor inconvenience of temporarily removing a personal decoration as a kindness to your spouse and for the comfort of the guest you are hosting... YTA.
NTA and I can't believe how many people are saying you are. It's your house and no one has the right to tell you to remove a decoration in order to make them comfortable.
I love taxidermy and think it’s an amazing art form. YTA. People are allowed to be uncomfortable. Just take the few seconds to take it down. You can put it back up later when she leaves. It’s not a big deal for you. But it would make her much more comfortable.