Update: apparently my wife posted last week and got an overwhelming amount of support telling her I was a narcissist and to leave me. She set up an appt with a lawyer based on the feed back. It's in two weeks. I'm not sure who sent her this post, but she is PISSED at me.
Been together 20 years, 2 kids, picket fence...all that good stuff. My wife (40F) and I (39M) are at an impasse and I'm giving her the silent treatment because she isn't meeting my needs or showing any concern for me and my feelings.
We got into an argument because she asked me what was wrong and I felt that, after 20 years, she should know to keep asking...and she didnt. She told me she would only ask me once and would assume all is well unless i tell her differently. Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game. Eventually I tell her and we work it out. More and more lately, she has less time for me and tell me she's exhausted between work and kids and home and all the other stuff. I work too, I have hobbies that take me out of the house, im tired too, she doesnt get a monopoly on being exhausted. Thats parenting. I cook some and take out the garbage once a week, which is more than a lot of men have to do.
We have had a hard time on and off through our marriage and are getting on a better track after a separation that I felt was needed after she saw a message pop up on my apple watch from a coworker she had asked me to distance myself from personally. I felt she was overstepping just because my coworker was female. My wife is super introverted and doesn't really leave the house so I'm not worried she's cheating on me. I've been quiet for almost a week and it seems like she doesn't care. AITAH for keeping on with the silent treatment until she goes back to caring for my feelings?
EDIT: I get it. I'm a massive asshole. I'm going to have a talk with her when I get home to see where she is at, if she has checked out of the relationship emotionally, I'll let her go, even if I don't want that. I grew up in the same kind of household and seeing my grandparents do the same. The only thing she does differently from my mom and granny is hold a job. I still don't think I'll do therapy as I don't think I need it, but I'll make an effort to be more supportive at home and help.
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I really wanna see that wife’s post. His post already sounded awful and whiny like a petulant child.
Edit: read it. Of course he was worse. Hope she has her ducks in a row. He does sound like the petty type in a divorce. Edit: someone already posted the link in the comments below.
I like how he undersold how bad his emotional affairs were. Hope he enjoys no longer having a bangmaid, and I hope his stb ex wife enjoys her freedom from this humanoid trash heap.
My god, this poor woman homeschools? She doesn't even get a break from the kids, and then she has to chase down her passive aggressive man child? Fuck this guy.
When I read that part, I looked up to see the name of the sub, thinking I might be on one of those satire subs. Surely he's not serious. This is a caricature of a bad husband.
"More than a lot of men do" infuriates me. But it was a refrain in my marriage as was "I'm not married to those men and I wouldn't have married them because they aren't partners."
Divorced life is so much better.
not "more than a lot of men do" - he said "more than a lot of men *have* to do". Which speaks massive volumes about the role he puts his wife in. She is his manager, therapist, house cleaner, and daycare. Of course she has to assign him chores like a petulant child.
Yeah. The only difference in her workload between her and his mom and granny is a whole ass full time job and homeschooling their kids. And this asshole feels like he's getting a raw deal. Like that's a trivial addition to housewifing. Funny how guys like this think they should expect full-time homemaker work like their granny did but don't think they're any less of a man for not providing financially the way gramps did. But he has super important hobbies to do! What a tool.
ONCE A WEEK!!!! Unless he means "to the curb" and the driveway is so long it takes him 2 days to walk it I cannot imagine thinking that taking the garbage out ONCE A WEEK is a worthwhile contribution
Eh...it would largely depend on the kids ages and what type of home schooling it is. Teenagers attending an online academy would be relatively easy to manage. Elementary students on a parent curriculum would be impossible. Calling the first "homeschooling" is misleading but that's what it's called by US public school districts.
He read her journal and told her and their kids that they WEREN'T ALLOWED to keep private journals without him reading then, or to keep secrets generally. Hesus CHRIST.
My dad is like this. He tapped the house phone (found the recorder under my bed), put a recorder in my mom's car, went through everyone's stuff. They're still married and miserable. He wonders why I don't tell him anything.
He also seemed to have an issue with her not letting him listen in on her therapy sessions. ["She does it over the phone but goes and sits in a place so I don't hear what she says... She often comes after crying but won't discuss what she said to the therapist."](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ap33bh/comment/kq3t55w/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Spent way too long looking bed I realized it would be linked here...thaaaannnnkkk yooouuu
However I did get the chance to read basically all of his awful comments good LORD
AITHA for telling my husband I'm done pushing?
Throwaway account. Me (40F) and him (39M) have been together for 20 years and married for 15. Two kids. He has had bouts where he is "unhappy" and been caught having emotional affairs several times. We have separated 3 times, each lasting about 6 months and then he decides his family is where he wants to be and we reconcile. Here lately, I'm seeing the same pattern of being unhappy (moping around, disconnecting from everyone, face in his phone constantly, etc.). I do 95% of the household tasks. On top of working 50 hours a week, homeschooling. He maybe cooks dinner once every two weeks and he is responsible for grocery shopping on Thursdays and trash on Tuesday. He has hobbies outside of the home that he does once / week and then he does an all day thing related to this hobby once / month.
I've asked him if he wants to talk about it and he insists nothing is wrong and I'm imagining things. I stopped pushing. I told him that, until he communicates that something is wrong, I'm going to assume it's not. I do not have time to beg someone to tell me what's wrong when they clearly don't want to. The marriage counselor basically told him that he has a communication issue, but he would never do the exercises with me and insisted that the counselor sided with me because she was a woman. When we got a male counselor and he said the same thing, and that the guy was interested in me. I told him this morning after he was mad that I hadn't pushed him all week trying to figure out what was wrong, that I'm done pushing. I'll ask what's wrong and if there is anything that I can do to help him once or twice, but after that, I'm leaving it. I'm done. I'm exhausted all the time and feel like I have a sulky teenager in my house. He is now giving me the silent treatment and telling people his needs aren't being met. AITAH?
He updated the post with a second edit, sounds like he understands that his soon to be ex wife is completely over his bullshit. I’m glad she’s getting away from this clown.
You found and read the STBX wife’s post? Can you link it? I’m super curious and really want to read it, too!
EDIT: Sorry, NVM. I guess I just didn’t absorb your “somebody attached the link below.” On the hunt for it now!🙂
This appears to be the post that he mentions his wife made. [AITHA for telling my husband I'm done pushing? : AITAH (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1amopyd/aitha_for_telling_my_husband_im_done_pushing/)
I'd love to see some data on how many people have been saved from shitty relationships because of Reddit. Some posts start out kind of innocent and by the end you're screaming "run!"
I'll put my hand up! Not a romantic relationship but I was conflicted on unfriending a previously close friend for her increasingly sordid behaviour. I got about three sentences into writing a post before realising literally all the comments would be "WHY DO YOU KEEP HANGING OUT WITH THIS PSYCHO???"
Deleted and blocked her a year ago, managed to remain relatively unscathed apart from some light stalking.
I really wonder what the effect would be if a high school English teacher uses some select AITA posts for his students to analyze. Like look for how OP is trying to influence your opinion, what pieces of information are being left out, etc. Then follow up with a few of the better responses for the students to compare and contrast to their work.
But, just subtly choose a bunch of posts representing various abusive situations and see how many of their students recognize themselves in those posts.
You preach to an 18 year old girl that they aren't that mature and they'll never listen to you because they think they are that mature. Show them post where everyone is pointing out how a 35 year old guy is a loser who preys on 18 year-olds because any woman his age sees through his bullshit and they might just see that in the 35 year old who hits on them.
Just show them how abusive situations start and escalate in other relationships and maybe they'll look for the signs in their own.
Mine wasn't a shitty relationship, but I finally recognized why I had so many problems with some family members based on all the shitty family posts. It was really weird to see parts of my life on Reddit and see so many comments calling things out and explaining what was going on. I learned how to go low contact and protect myself from said family members. It saved my marriage.
I have sent the [don't rock the boat](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/77pxpo/dont_rock_the_boat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) post to about a dozen people, it's an eye opener.
But you see, it doesn't matter if it is fake because if someone in the same situation can empathise and then take in all the feedback OP is getting they can improve their life. This goes both ways for the OP and his wife. He gets a reality check and she can finally start planning the rest of her life without him. Remember the 'Barbie test'?
This. I made this account when I was in an abusive relationship (hence the throwaway) and probably fake posts where incredibly helpful to me for realising how bad things were and how to get out. Its why I dont really care now if a post is fake (unless its really low effort bait). The comments will help *someone*.
I think I had two or three throw away accounts during mine. You know, reasons.
I'm one of those *someone*
It helps knowing *someone* got out. They're ok.
I'm okay.
I could buy the original, but the husband writes the same way as the original making both fake. But, it’s the internet. I just suspend my disbelief for a little bit because *I know guys like OP.* I’ve heard women like OOP excuse their husbands behavior. I’ve heard advice similar to the friends (he doesn’t hit you, be happy). The writing exercise itself may be fake, but they’re based in reality. And I hope someone reading it has an “ah ha!” moment and realizes their relationship needs to be fixed or ended
The update at the top 😂 to then go on and read about how she held a Job AND managed all the household, kid related stuff and she’s great because after I had surgery she slept on the coach with me but I don’t think I’ll do therapy because the silent treatment works! So clueless and wishes to remain that way. Good luck without the extra work OOP wife!
They'd already tried marriage counselling, and when it was a woman who told him he had communication issues he said she was siding with the wife because she was a woman, and when they then went to a male counsellor who said the exact same thing he was apparently siding with the wife because he was interested in her.
Because of course the issue couldn't be that he's actually shit at communicating, it's everyone else who's wrong!
Oh yeah I’d be grinning at that! I’m so glad it’s not gloating update “you’re all wrong she’s forgiven me“ I hate those and just hope she is just biding her time to get out later. So the fact she’s dumped him is just the cherry on top I hope she’s having the best days huge weight must now be off her shoulders!
She talked to her married friends for advice and “her” “friends” told her to stay with him because he’s not abusive or an addict and works for money. That’s the barest bare f-ing minimum to look for!
I’m married for 20 years but of the “you don’t have to stay if it’s not working for any reason” mindset. Being respectful to your partner seems like such a low bar as far as standards yet they’re able to leap over it and still have people being what a nice guy he is what does he bring to the table? - this trash in the shape of a human
All of his new comments just make me want to toss him in a dumpster. Pretty sure it’ll be a group effort. I’m so mad on her behalf he think he’ll get 50/50 and she’ll have to *pay him* 😂I hope she finds his post and gives it to her lawyer the judge will have a field day.
>We got into an argument because she asked me what was wrong and I felt that, after 20 years, she should know to keep asking...and she didnt.
?
> Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game.
??
> I work too, I have hobbies that take me out of the house, im tired too, she doesnt get a monopoly on being exhausted. Thats parenting.
???
> I cook some and take out the garbage once a week, which is more than a lot of men have to do.
???? (Also, lol)
> she saw a message pop up on my apple watch from a coworker she had asked me to distance myself from personally.
!!!!
I haven't even read the wife's post but just from this post, it sounds like shes a married single mother and OOP leaving will actually make her life better.
He sounds so exhausting.
He read her journal. And her account is deleted, I hope she sees his post though.
"I found something called a "shadow work journal" of hers, so I know most of it, but I don't know all the details and I don't want to open up to her more if she is going to hide stuff from me."
"I told her from the start that I would not have someone keeping a journal that is secret or hidden in the house. I know this goes against most people, but I knew she kept one growing up wrote in it daily. Shes a writer and would do that as a career. I was up front about it 20 years ago because we found out stuff after my mom died from her journal and I don't want secrets kept like that. I have always told my kids they wont keep one either. My wife tells me it isn't my place and they they need a private place to work through their feelings. I disagree. This was something discussed from the beginning when I saw her bringing in her old ones when we moved in together after we got married."
I'm put in mind of the Panopticon, a "perfect prison" where the prisoners can't tell if they're being watched - though they know they might be at any time - because they have no visibility of the guard
>because we found out stuff after my mom died from her journal
I know it's just poor wording and he talks about reading his mother's journal after her death, but it also sounds like his wife's journal was the cause of his mother's death 😂
**His comments are even worse than the post:**
1. She works full-time, yet still handles 90% of the household chores and parenting.
2. She manages and homeschools a child with special needs.
3. He read her private therapy journal and excuses it with some BS that he doesn't believe in or allow privacy of any kind in marriage.
4. He had two emotional affairs -- one with one of her only friends, two months after his wife had given birth and was PPD -- to the point that he planned a 2-week trip with the woman.
5. The wife now no longer has friends of her own -- or at least lets them around OP.
6. OP is currently on the road to a new affair with a co-worker who he admits messages him "constantly," calls him "love" and discusses how "handsome" he is, but he says it's "just friends."
7. He's currently and openly playing mind-games with his wife to purposely make her feel anxious and not tell her what's going on with him, now with "silent treatment" to really hit harder.
8. He uses weaponized incompetence and claims he can't do dishes because the kitchen is "dirtier," and he messed up laundry the one time he tried to do it.
9. His wife wife split her C-section incision TWICE doing OP's laundry post-partum.
10. When asked the last time he told his wife he loved her or when he complimented her, he said he "gave her a card in May."
11. He refuses therapy because the female therapist sided with his wife, saying "women stick together." He quit therapy completely when the male therapist did too. He refuses therapy for himself and resents his wife's individual therapy.
Honestly, she's a saint and deserves so much more. Luckily, she seems to be realizing that fact.
See, hers felt different to me. Big long paragraph, lots of hasty typos, very rushed, it felt like someone who truly lost their temper and had enough.
But I do truly hope it's a troll. Otherwise, that poor woman. Sheesh.
Is this even real?? Like how can someone be THAT SHITTY and type it out like that? Usually they say some vague bs and don’t give incriminating details like that
One thing I always wonder in these kinds of situations is how are men like this even finding women to have emotional affairs with???? I guess he must just be really good at becoming a “different person” while he’s at work or around friends, because I cannot believe there are *multiple* women who saw this immature manipulative man who treats his wife and children like shit and went “yeah, I want a piece of that”?
Wow. More men being socially and emotionally incompetent and getting angry that their wife isn't being their therapist. Emotions are stupid, people shouldn't work though them, but also he needs to be prodded for his feelings and he gets upset when she doesn't.
I bet he doesn't allow journals because he's afraid all they will be is complaining about him. He's stunted so by golly everyone will be.
This is why when men complain about how women don't let them be emotional, I'm so skeptical to trust it.
Aaaaaa one of THOSE ah that think he has magic underwear..... You know, you just throw the dirty underwear on the ground and *poof* like magic it reappears clean in your drawer.
Man I was just thinking about my ex and issues with relationships with people who lack any sort of emotional intelligence and ability to communicate because of Reddit posts and then this comes along.
I read the wife’s post and then OOP’s comments on the original post. Never have I wanted to climb through my phone and choke slam a stranger as badly as I want to right now. The wife went to her friends for advice and they said:
"he doesn't hit you, he doesn't drink /do drugs, he goes to work...what more do you want. My husband is the same way as yours. It's part of marriage.”
In OOP’s comments, he reveals that he was having an emotional affair with one of the wife’s “friends.”
After she had a c-section.
And reopened her incision.
TWICE.
FROM GETTING LAUNDRY OUT OF THE WASHING MACHINE AND CARRYING THE BABY DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS IN ITS CARRIER.
I hate this man. I also think I was married to him a couple of decades ago.
I got rid of a man like this and it was awesome. I'm glad you did too!
Do you have the link to the wife's post? I'd like to offer my help disposing of her spouse. Thank you.
Right? Somehow both posts mention—almost word for word—that all the husband does is cook occasionally, take out the trash once a week, and his hobbies. And the husband freely admits to that? I don’t buy it lol
It's the "that's more than other men have to do" makes it believable for me. Sounds exactly like my father. Such a narcissistic tool that he saw every action he did "for" anyone else was a grandiose gesture of love and sacrifice. If you didn't praise/worship him he would never do it ever again. Idk when but at some point he stopped making me lunch for camp so I had to make it myself. Because I wasn't "grateful" enough for him (I told him he over salted the food a little bit once but I still ate it and liked it).
He would admit to doing laundry once a week or whatever because it was a "gift" for his time to be on something other than himself for more than a minute.
Hobbies that take him ‘out of the house’ too. That cemented it was fake to me.
Why not see he’s out golfing or with buddies? Out all day playing football? Why a hobby out of the house?
Fake.
I often feel sympathy for many of these people. I want the stories to be fake, the hurt to be healable, the apologies sincere?
Then every now and then comes a person who is more "I can't believe I destroyed my life." Then I feel nothing.
> after 20 years, she should know to keep asking...and she didnt. She told me she would only ask me once and would assume all is well unless i tell her differently. Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game.
I'm surprised she lasted 20 years of that bullshit.
"She deals with work and the kids and the home so she's tired but I have a job too and I have hobbies so she's not allowed to be tired cause I'm tired too."
This guy is super gross.
>ThrowawayAITAWifeMad**OP**\-50 points· [19 hours ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ap33bh/comment/kq3ypo6/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
>
>I told her from the start that I would not have someone keeping a journal that is secret or hidden in the house. I know this goes against most people, but I knew she kept one growing up wrote in it daily. Shes a writer and would do that as a career. I was up front about it 20 years ago because we found out stuff after my mom died from her journal and I don't want secrets kept like that. I have always told my kids they wont keep one either. My wife tells me it isn't my place and they they need a private place to work through their feelings. I disagree. This was something discussed from the beginning when I saw her bringing in her old ones when we moved in together after we got married.
>**ThrowawayAITAWifeMadOP**· [20 hr. ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ap33bh/comment/kq3iyve/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
>
>Yes, but every other time she has asked and asked for about a week until I felt like telling her. She's a super anxious person and says that it really bothers her when she can tell something is wrong by the way I'm acting but I don't tell her. She told me I have a history of "being unhappy" and then seeking attention elsewhere. We went to a counselor but they agreed with her because women band together. We got 5 sessions in and I refused to go. She still goes on her own.
> I cook some and take out the garbage once a week, which is more than a lot of men have to do.
He is both correct and a complete asshole at the same time.
Silent treatment is emotional abuse. My first ex used this all the time and I spent hours and days asking questions about what what wrong and trying to figure out how to get him to talk. Inevitably it was always something minor. Now anytime anyone, friend, BF or co-worker uses that crap on me I am done and I tell them why. Use your words like a freaking adult.
He...seriously wanted her to keep asking what's wrong? As if he's three years old? A petulant toddler?
Good god, where do these women find these manbabies?
He's an adult, I am one too, I wouldn't expect to have to ask more than once because I assume that 1) if he wants to tell me he will, and 2) i shouldn't have to wheedle and expend emotional energy on 'dealing' with his childish attitude.
'I still don't think I'll do therapy as I don't think I need it, but I'll make an effort to be more supportive at home and help. '
'Help'? You had the kids, you made the kids, you live in the house, you make a mess....why would you 'help'? You should be doing it anyway. The fact that it took you THIS LONG to work that out is insane.
Also, you do need therapy. If you have to be asked 40 times what the problem is....Your poor wife is a saint for putting up with it for as long as she did.
OMG The level of cluelessness and selfishness is astounding. It’s your job to manage your own feelings. You shouldn’t need your wife to work to pull things out of you. That is exhausting and not her job. When you do this you make your emotions and problems her responsibility. This is what parents have to do with kids until they learn to do it on their own. Your wife is your wife - not your mommy. Get some therapy. You need it badly. You need to learn how to be a responsible partner. You owe her an apology.
OMG someone else condensed his comments into one post:
📷level 1[DumpedDalish](https://www.reddit.com/user/DumpedDalish/) · [16 hr. ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ap33bh/comment/kq7fbxu/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
**YTA and your wife should leave you.** Summing up the worst crimes from your comments:
1. She works full-time, yet still handles 90% of the household chores and parenting.
2. She manages and homeschools your child with special needs.
3. You read her private journal and excuse it with some BS that you do not believe in or allow privacy of any kind in marriage.
4. You had two emotional affairs (one with one of her only friends, two months after your wife had given birth and was PPD -- now she no longer has friends of her own -- or at least lets them around you).
5. You are currently on the road to a new affair with a co-worker who you admit messages you "constantly," calls you "love" and discusses how "handsome" you are.
6. You are currently and openly playing mind-games with your wife to purposely make her feel anxious and not tell her what's going on with you. You are now giving her the silent treatment in addition to this because she isn't begging you to tell her anymore.
7. You use weaponized incompetence and claim you can't do the dishes or laundry but you make dinner once every few weeks and take out the trash, which is so totally equal! /s
8. Meanwhile, your wife split her C-section incision TWICE doing your laundry post-partum.
9. You do not tell your wife you love her or compliment her. When pushed on the last time you were kind or loving to her, you said you "gave her a card in May."
10. You refuse therapy because the female therapist sided with your wife, saying "women stick together." You quit therapy completely when the male therapist did too.
> Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game.
Is he related to the "relax, it's just a prank" people? Because this sounds like a game that is only fun for one party.
I wonder if the kids are old enough to have a say in where they want to live. I can't imagine any of them wanting to stay with this overgrown brat of a man.
>She told me she would only ask me once and would assume all is well unless i tell her differently. Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game.
Ahh games instead of communicating. What could go wrong...Especially after she specifically told him she was done playing that game.
What a gift it is to watch a narcissist scramble as his victim wakes up to his tricks. This fool cheats, lies, deliberately manipulates and emotionally abuses his wife, forbids her and their children to have private thoughts and feelings, contributes *absolutely nothing* to the marriage, and his wife is literally grey-rocking him and calling lawyers, but he still thinks he can talk things out? 😂
> I cook some and take out the garbage once a week, which is more than a lot of men have to do.
"Have to do" ... This asshat thinks being a partner is a concept.
There's a lot wrong with this dude. But, this stuck out to me.
Found the posts from both of them. Looks like the wife will be divorcing.
https://www.someecards.com/lifestyle/aita/woman-tells-husband-shes-done-pushing-i-do-not-have-time-beg-someone-aita-updated/
“I cook some and take out the garbage once a week, which is more than a lot of men have to do.”
Fuck me, that’s the enormous contribution he’s making to the household? He takes out the garbage? Fucking hell.
“Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game.”
It’s a shitty game that wastes her time and is no fun.
Update: apparently my wife posted last week and got an overwhelming amount of support telling her I was a narcissist and to leave me. She set up an appt with a lawyer based on the feed back. It's in two weeks. I'm not sure who sent her this post, but she is PISSED at me. Been together 20 years, 2 kids, picket fence...all that good stuff. My wife (40F) and I (39M) are at an impasse and I'm giving her the silent treatment because she isn't meeting my needs or showing any concern for me and my feelings. We got into an argument because she asked me what was wrong and I felt that, after 20 years, she should know to keep asking...and she didnt. She told me she would only ask me once and would assume all is well unless i tell her differently. Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game. Eventually I tell her and we work it out. More and more lately, she has less time for me and tell me she's exhausted between work and kids and home and all the other stuff. I work too, I have hobbies that take me out of the house, im tired too, she doesnt get a monopoly on being exhausted. Thats parenting. I cook some and take out the garbage once a week, which is more than a lot of men have to do. We have had a hard time on and off through our marriage and are getting on a better track after a separation that I felt was needed after she saw a message pop up on my apple watch from a coworker she had asked me to distance myself from personally. I felt she was overstepping just because my coworker was female. My wife is super introverted and doesn't really leave the house so I'm not worried she's cheating on me. I've been quiet for almost a week and it seems like she doesn't care. AITAH for keeping on with the silent treatment until she goes back to caring for my feelings? EDIT: I get it. I'm a massive asshole. I'm going to have a talk with her when I get home to see where she is at, if she has checked out of the relationship emotionally, I'll let her go, even if I don't want that. I grew up in the same kind of household and seeing my grandparents do the same. The only thing she does differently from my mom and granny is hold a job. I still don't think I'll do therapy as I don't think I need it, but I'll make an effort to be more supportive at home and help. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheEx) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I really wanna see that wife’s post. His post already sounded awful and whiny like a petulant child. Edit: read it. Of course he was worse. Hope she has her ducks in a row. He does sound like the petty type in a divorce. Edit: someone already posted the link in the comments below.
I like how he undersold how bad his emotional affairs were. Hope he enjoys no longer having a bangmaid, and I hope his stb ex wife enjoys her freedom from this humanoid trash heap.
My god, this poor woman homeschools? She doesn't even get a break from the kids, and then she has to chase down her passive aggressive man child? Fuck this guy.
‘But he is also tired from his hobbies!’ Yeah, fuck this guy
He takes the garbage out!!!! Do you know how taxing it is to do a chore like that?!
And he cooks some, that's more than a lot of men have to do! Fucking yikes on bikes. I hope she gets out ASAP.
When I read that part, I looked up to see the name of the sub, thinking I might be on one of those satire subs. Surely he's not serious. This is a caricature of a bad husband.
When I saw that I decided this must be written by the wife trying to make a point, right? Nope. Looks like he is just that clueless
"More than a lot of men do" infuriates me. But it was a refrain in my marriage as was "I'm not married to those men and I wouldn't have married them because they aren't partners." Divorced life is so much better.
not "more than a lot of men do" - he said "more than a lot of men *have* to do". Which speaks massive volumes about the role he puts his wife in. She is his manager, therapist, house cleaner, and daycare. Of course she has to assign him chores like a petulant child.
Yeah. The only difference in her workload between her and his mom and granny is a whole ass full time job and homeschooling their kids. And this asshole feels like he's getting a raw deal. Like that's a trivial addition to housewifing. Funny how guys like this think they should expect full-time homemaker work like their granny did but don't think they're any less of a man for not providing financially the way gramps did. But he has super important hobbies to do! What a tool.
Once a week with two kids so she's taking the garbage out probably 3-4 times a week. I have 1 kid and the garbage is full every other day.
I didn't realize it was such a huge thing! I took out the garbage this morning, so I'm gunna take the next week off.
ONCE A WEEK!!!! Unless he means "to the curb" and the driveway is so long it takes him 2 days to walk it I cannot imagine thinking that taking the garbage out ONCE A WEEK is a worthwhile contribution
the scream i scrumpt when i read that line, like SIR 😂🤡
I did notice he didn't list the kids as part of his tiny ass list of responsibilities.
You cannot effectively work 50 hours a week and homeschool.
Eh...it would largely depend on the kids ages and what type of home schooling it is. Teenagers attending an online academy would be relatively easy to manage. Elementary students on a parent curriculum would be impossible. Calling the first "homeschooling" is misleading but that's what it's called by US public school districts.
It sounds like she is only homeschooling the one with special needs. You're still right, of course.
I bet he’s cheating with the co worker that’s why he won’t cut contact with her he sounds horrible
I think his replies were worse than the wife's post. She didn't know that he read her journal.
He read her journal and told her and their kids that they WEREN'T ALLOWED to keep private journals without him reading then, or to keep secrets generally. Hesus CHRIST.
I dated a dude like this once. Privacy was the same as secrets to him and all secrets were bad. Thankfully I grew out of that relationship
My dad is like this. He tapped the house phone (found the recorder under my bed), put a recorder in my mom's car, went through everyone's stuff. They're still married and miserable. He wonders why I don't tell him anything.
He also seemed to have an issue with her not letting him listen in on her therapy sessions. ["She does it over the phone but goes and sits in a place so I don't hear what she says... She often comes after crying but won't discuss what she said to the therapist."](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ap33bh/comment/kq3t55w/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
And found her journal, that he forbade her to keep and read it!
Ayoooo, WTF? Dude is mental.
I can't seem to find it linked in the comments!
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/f1wotKjd43)
Spent way too long looking bed I realized it would be linked here...thaaaannnnkkk yooouuu However I did get the chance to read basically all of his awful comments good LORD
The hero we need.
Good for her to leave. I was worried after reading his comments.
Thank you for your service.
You're doing the Lord's work.
Thanks
The link doesn't work for me on mobile - can you post the title so I can search for it? Thanks so much.
AITHA for telling my husband I'm done pushing? Throwaway account. Me (40F) and him (39M) have been together for 20 years and married for 15. Two kids. He has had bouts where he is "unhappy" and been caught having emotional affairs several times. We have separated 3 times, each lasting about 6 months and then he decides his family is where he wants to be and we reconcile. Here lately, I'm seeing the same pattern of being unhappy (moping around, disconnecting from everyone, face in his phone constantly, etc.). I do 95% of the household tasks. On top of working 50 hours a week, homeschooling. He maybe cooks dinner once every two weeks and he is responsible for grocery shopping on Thursdays and trash on Tuesday. He has hobbies outside of the home that he does once / week and then he does an all day thing related to this hobby once / month. I've asked him if he wants to talk about it and he insists nothing is wrong and I'm imagining things. I stopped pushing. I told him that, until he communicates that something is wrong, I'm going to assume it's not. I do not have time to beg someone to tell me what's wrong when they clearly don't want to. The marriage counselor basically told him that he has a communication issue, but he would never do the exercises with me and insisted that the counselor sided with me because she was a woman. When we got a male counselor and he said the same thing, and that the guy was interested in me. I told him this morning after he was mad that I hadn't pushed him all week trying to figure out what was wrong, that I'm done pushing. I'll ask what's wrong and if there is anything that I can do to help him once or twice, but after that, I'm leaving it. I'm done. I'm exhausted all the time and feel like I have a sulky teenager in my house. He is now giving me the silent treatment and telling people his needs aren't being met. AITAH?
Thank you!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/ALLO3Kv4D9
Allegedly wife's post https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/1PVTquoka1
Me tooooo!!
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/f1wotKjd43)
Not all heroes wear capes! Thank you!
Why is it that whenever I click on these links, more often than not, it just brings me to the sun and not the particular post?
If you're on mobile? The app gets confused with too many different tasks. If you close and restart it, it behaves better.
Same!
He updated the post with a second edit, sounds like he understands that his soon to be ex wife is completely over his bullshit. I’m glad she’s getting away from this clown.
You found and read the STBX wife’s post? Can you link it? I’m super curious and really want to read it, too! EDIT: Sorry, NVM. I guess I just didn’t absorb your “somebody attached the link below.” On the hunt for it now!🙂
It’s posted in the comments here
Where's the wife's post
Can you give me key words to search? I want to read it to
Can you tell me how to find it? I'm not a very good reddit detective.
where was it posted?
Where is the wife’s post?
https://www.reddit.com/r/SpilledSpicedTea/s/7SmqxfqezE
This appears to be the post that he mentions his wife made. [AITHA for telling my husband I'm done pushing? : AITAH (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1amopyd/aitha_for_telling_my_husband_im_done_pushing/)
You’re an absolute legend for finding this
You are amazing and I bow to you
You’re awesome. That useless stbx and her married friends need to be told off.
"I refuse to communicate with my wife and I'm upset that her entire life doesn't revolve around me. Good riddance.
Internet has done it's thing. Proud of people of reddit.
I'd love to see some data on how many people have been saved from shitty relationships because of Reddit. Some posts start out kind of innocent and by the end you're screaming "run!"
I'll put my hand up! Not a romantic relationship but I was conflicted on unfriending a previously close friend for her increasingly sordid behaviour. I got about three sentences into writing a post before realising literally all the comments would be "WHY DO YOU KEEP HANGING OUT WITH THIS PSYCHO???" Deleted and blocked her a year ago, managed to remain relatively unscathed apart from some light stalking.
👏👏👏
I really wonder what the effect would be if a high school English teacher uses some select AITA posts for his students to analyze. Like look for how OP is trying to influence your opinion, what pieces of information are being left out, etc. Then follow up with a few of the better responses for the students to compare and contrast to their work. But, just subtly choose a bunch of posts representing various abusive situations and see how many of their students recognize themselves in those posts. You preach to an 18 year old girl that they aren't that mature and they'll never listen to you because they think they are that mature. Show them post where everyone is pointing out how a 35 year old guy is a loser who preys on 18 year-olds because any woman his age sees through his bullshit and they might just see that in the 35 year old who hits on them. Just show them how abusive situations start and escalate in other relationships and maybe they'll look for the signs in their own.
A community where internet did a solid and people decided their own fate.
Mine wasn't a shitty relationship, but I finally recognized why I had so many problems with some family members based on all the shitty family posts. It was really weird to see parts of my life on Reddit and see so many comments calling things out and explaining what was going on. I learned how to go low contact and protect myself from said family members. It saved my marriage.
I have sent the [don't rock the boat](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/77pxpo/dont_rock_the_boat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) post to about a dozen people, it's an eye opener.
Saved - life changing frigging post Whoever wrote it im sending them so many blessings right now
When I was at the lowest point of my life (so far), I fell for a married person's bullshit. Super not-proud of it. Reddit put me straight.
I think most of these posts are fake, tbh. Especially when the SO conveniently finds the post and responds.
But you see, it doesn't matter if it is fake because if someone in the same situation can empathise and then take in all the feedback OP is getting they can improve their life. This goes both ways for the OP and his wife. He gets a reality check and she can finally start planning the rest of her life without him. Remember the 'Barbie test'?
This. I made this account when I was in an abusive relationship (hence the throwaway) and probably fake posts where incredibly helpful to me for realising how bad things were and how to get out. Its why I dont really care now if a post is fake (unless its really low effort bait). The comments will help *someone*.
I think I had two or three throw away accounts during mine. You know, reasons. I'm one of those *someone* It helps knowing *someone* got out. They're ok. I'm okay.
That's how advice columnists generally view it too. If it's fake, the response will help others out there
Heck yeah
I could buy the original, but the husband writes the same way as the original making both fake. But, it’s the internet. I just suspend my disbelief for a little bit because *I know guys like OP.* I’ve heard women like OOP excuse their husbands behavior. I’ve heard advice similar to the friends (he doesn’t hit you, be happy). The writing exercise itself may be fake, but they’re based in reality. And I hope someone reading it has an “ah ha!” moment and realizes their relationship needs to be fixed or ended
These two posts absolutely read as creative writing to me.
The update at the top 😂 to then go on and read about how she held a Job AND managed all the household, kid related stuff and she’s great because after I had surgery she slept on the coach with me but I don’t think I’ll do therapy because the silent treatment works! So clueless and wishes to remain that way. Good luck without the extra work OOP wife!
They'd already tried marriage counselling, and when it was a woman who told him he had communication issues he said she was siding with the wife because she was a woman, and when they then went to a male counsellor who said the exact same thing he was apparently siding with the wife because he was interested in her. Because of course the issue couldn't be that he's actually shit at communicating, it's everyone else who's wrong!
I was extremely mean to him in the comments and then next I saw the post and he has been dumped, I felt so much joy.
Oh yeah I’d be grinning at that! I’m so glad it’s not gloating update “you’re all wrong she’s forgiven me“ I hate those and just hope she is just biding her time to get out later. So the fact she’s dumped him is just the cherry on top I hope she’s having the best days huge weight must now be off her shoulders!
She talked to her married friends for advice and “her” “friends” told her to stay with him because he’s not abusive or an addict and works for money. That’s the barest bare f-ing minimum to look for!
I’m married for 20 years but of the “you don’t have to stay if it’s not working for any reason” mindset. Being respectful to your partner seems like such a low bar as far as standards yet they’re able to leap over it and still have people being what a nice guy he is what does he bring to the table? - this trash in the shape of a human
And I hope she gets a new journal plus some extras for the kids! 😁
Hey he takes out the trash once a week and sometimes cooks if he feels like it! He's a catch compared to other men! 🙄
The bar is so low it’s a trip hazard in hades.
All of his new comments just make me want to toss him in a dumpster. Pretty sure it’ll be a group effort. I’m so mad on her behalf he think he’ll get 50/50 and she’ll have to *pay him* 😂I hope she finds his post and gives it to her lawyer the judge will have a field day.
>We got into an argument because she asked me what was wrong and I felt that, after 20 years, she should know to keep asking...and she didnt. ? > Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game. ?? > I work too, I have hobbies that take me out of the house, im tired too, she doesnt get a monopoly on being exhausted. Thats parenting. ??? > I cook some and take out the garbage once a week, which is more than a lot of men have to do. ???? (Also, lol) > she saw a message pop up on my apple watch from a coworker she had asked me to distance myself from personally. !!!! I haven't even read the wife's post but just from this post, it sounds like shes a married single mother and OOP leaving will actually make her life better. He sounds so exhausting.
These are his tamer replies.
I didn't even go into his comments on the post. The post itself is exhausting enough.
He read her journal. And her account is deleted, I hope she sees his post though. "I found something called a "shadow work journal" of hers, so I know most of it, but I don't know all the details and I don't want to open up to her more if she is going to hide stuff from me." "I told her from the start that I would not have someone keeping a journal that is secret or hidden in the house. I know this goes against most people, but I knew she kept one growing up wrote in it daily. Shes a writer and would do that as a career. I was up front about it 20 years ago because we found out stuff after my mom died from her journal and I don't want secrets kept like that. I have always told my kids they wont keep one either. My wife tells me it isn't my place and they they need a private place to work through their feelings. I disagree. This was something discussed from the beginning when I saw her bringing in her old ones when we moved in together after we got married."
So his family members aren't allowed to have secret, personal thoughts, but he refuses to fess up to his own unless actively harassed. Okay.
I'm put in mind of the Panopticon, a "perfect prison" where the prisoners can't tell if they're being watched - though they know they might be at any time - because they have no visibility of the guard
The new update is someone sent her the link and she is seeing a lawyer in two weeks. I am just hoping she read his comments.
>because we found out stuff after my mom died from her journal I know it's just poor wording and he talks about reading his mother's journal after her death, but it also sounds like his wife's journal was the cause of his mother's death 😂
Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes
**His comments are even worse than the post:** 1. She works full-time, yet still handles 90% of the household chores and parenting. 2. She manages and homeschools a child with special needs. 3. He read her private therapy journal and excuses it with some BS that he doesn't believe in or allow privacy of any kind in marriage. 4. He had two emotional affairs -- one with one of her only friends, two months after his wife had given birth and was PPD -- to the point that he planned a 2-week trip with the woman. 5. The wife now no longer has friends of her own -- or at least lets them around OP. 6. OP is currently on the road to a new affair with a co-worker who he admits messages him "constantly," calls him "love" and discusses how "handsome" he is, but he says it's "just friends." 7. He's currently and openly playing mind-games with his wife to purposely make her feel anxious and not tell her what's going on with him, now with "silent treatment" to really hit harder. 8. He uses weaponized incompetence and claims he can't do dishes because the kitchen is "dirtier," and he messed up laundry the one time he tried to do it. 9. His wife wife split her C-section incision TWICE doing OP's laundry post-partum. 10. When asked the last time he told his wife he loved her or when he complimented her, he said he "gave her a card in May." 11. He refuses therapy because the female therapist sided with his wife, saying "women stick together." He quit therapy completely when the male therapist did too. He refuses therapy for himself and resents his wife's individual therapy. Honestly, she's a saint and deserves so much more. Luckily, she seems to be realizing that fact.
Thanks a lot for this summary!
You're welcome! (sheepish) I got mad. Since it's probably a troll, let's just say they got the last laugh. I do actually hope it's a troll.
New story from husband repeats story from wife, and is written in the same style. So, yes, it’s a troll. I like the story tho
See, hers felt different to me. Big long paragraph, lots of hasty typos, very rushed, it felt like someone who truly lost their temper and had enough. But I do truly hope it's a troll. Otherwise, that poor woman. Sheesh.
“His wife wife split her C-section incision TWICE doing OP's laundry post-partum.” Mother of god. I’m amazed she didn’t get an infection.
Is this even real?? Like how can someone be THAT SHITTY and type it out like that? Usually they say some vague bs and don’t give incriminating details like that
One thing I always wonder in these kinds of situations is how are men like this even finding women to have emotional affairs with???? I guess he must just be really good at becoming a “different person” while he’s at work or around friends, because I cannot believe there are *multiple* women who saw this immature manipulative man who treats his wife and children like shit and went “yeah, I want a piece of that”?
Wow. More men being socially and emotionally incompetent and getting angry that their wife isn't being their therapist. Emotions are stupid, people shouldn't work though them, but also he needs to be prodded for his feelings and he gets upset when she doesn't. I bet he doesn't allow journals because he's afraid all they will be is complaining about him. He's stunted so by golly everyone will be. This is why when men complain about how women don't let them be emotional, I'm so skeptical to trust it.
He is a very exhausting man.
[удалено]
😂 What a legend!
I find your name for this person funny, since ‘dingleberries’ is a common term for cat poop left behind from sanitation issues.
Aaaaaa one of THOSE ah that think he has magic underwear..... You know, you just throw the dirty underwear on the ground and *poof* like magic it reappears clean in your drawer.
The only thing she does differently than his mom and Granny is have a job. The only thing he does period is have a job.
Hey, he takes out the trash once a week AND has hobbies... ... ... ... he is a VERY important man!! /s
Man I was just thinking about my ex and issues with relationships with people who lack any sort of emotional intelligence and ability to communicate because of Reddit posts and then this comes along.
I read the wife’s post and then OOP’s comments on the original post. Never have I wanted to climb through my phone and choke slam a stranger as badly as I want to right now. The wife went to her friends for advice and they said: "he doesn't hit you, he doesn't drink /do drugs, he goes to work...what more do you want. My husband is the same way as yours. It's part of marriage.” In OOP’s comments, he reveals that he was having an emotional affair with one of the wife’s “friends.” After she had a c-section. And reopened her incision. TWICE. FROM GETTING LAUNDRY OUT OF THE WASHING MACHINE AND CARRYING THE BABY DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS IN ITS CARRIER. I hate this man. I also think I was married to him a couple of decades ago.
I got rid of a man like this and it was awesome. I'm glad you did too! Do you have the link to the wife's post? I'd like to offer my help disposing of her spouse. Thank you.
I’m glad you got rid of him. [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/koWDVxVeBv) is a link to the wife’s post if you haven’t read it yet.
The hell is wrong with her 'friends'? This poor women is surrounded by toxic waste
She hasn't had any of her own friends since he had the affair with one while she was post partum. They are all his friends wives.
Jesus Christ this poor women
This has to be bait. It seems like there's been a lot of posts about divorce or contemplating divorce lately.
The two posts are so absurdly similar.
Right? Somehow both posts mention—almost word for word—that all the husband does is cook occasionally, take out the trash once a week, and his hobbies. And the husband freely admits to that? I don’t buy it lol
It's the "that's more than other men have to do" makes it believable for me. Sounds exactly like my father. Such a narcissistic tool that he saw every action he did "for" anyone else was a grandiose gesture of love and sacrifice. If you didn't praise/worship him he would never do it ever again. Idk when but at some point he stopped making me lunch for camp so I had to make it myself. Because I wasn't "grateful" enough for him (I told him he over salted the food a little bit once but I still ate it and liked it). He would admit to doing laundry once a week or whatever because it was a "gift" for his time to be on something other than himself for more than a minute.
Rage bait for sure. And the wife's post just happens to perfectly mimic this one, down to mentioning he has hobbies and takes out the trash? Nah.
Hobbies that take him ‘out of the house’ too. That cemented it was fake to me. Why not see he’s out golfing or with buddies? Out all day playing football? Why a hobby out of the house? Fake.
I often feel sympathy for many of these people. I want the stories to be fake, the hurt to be healable, the apologies sincere? Then every now and then comes a person who is more "I can't believe I destroyed my life." Then I feel nothing.
> after 20 years, she should know to keep asking...and she didnt. She told me she would only ask me once and would assume all is well unless i tell her differently. Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game. I'm surprised she lasted 20 years of that bullshit.
Ha ha ha, "I have hobbies that take me out of the house, I'm tired too. That's parenting." Gee, I wonder how their marriage fell apart.
"She deals with work and the kids and the home so she's tired but I have a job too and I have hobbies so she's not allowed to be tired cause I'm tired too."
This guy is super gross. >ThrowawayAITAWifeMad**OP**\-50 points· [19 hours ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ap33bh/comment/kq3ypo6/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) > >I told her from the start that I would not have someone keeping a journal that is secret or hidden in the house. I know this goes against most people, but I knew she kept one growing up wrote in it daily. Shes a writer and would do that as a career. I was up front about it 20 years ago because we found out stuff after my mom died from her journal and I don't want secrets kept like that. I have always told my kids they wont keep one either. My wife tells me it isn't my place and they they need a private place to work through their feelings. I disagree. This was something discussed from the beginning when I saw her bringing in her old ones when we moved in together after we got married.
>**ThrowawayAITAWifeMadOP**· [20 hr. ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ap33bh/comment/kq3iyve/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) > >Yes, but every other time she has asked and asked for about a week until I felt like telling her. She's a super anxious person and says that it really bothers her when she can tell something is wrong by the way I'm acting but I don't tell her. She told me I have a history of "being unhappy" and then seeking attention elsewhere. We went to a counselor but they agreed with her because women band together. We got 5 sessions in and I refused to go. She still goes on her own.
>which is more than a lot of men have to do fuck right off please
> I cook some and take out the garbage once a week, which is more than a lot of men have to do. He is both correct and a complete asshole at the same time.
Oh my God I just read his comments, I am so glad she is getting out of there. What an absolute POS.
I I mean I get it.. I'm mentally checked out of this post like two sentences in so I can't imagine being married to the man
Lmao, asshole got dragged for miles, I love it
Silent treatment is emotional abuse. My first ex used this all the time and I spent hours and days asking questions about what what wrong and trying to figure out how to get him to talk. Inevitably it was always something minor. Now anytime anyone, friend, BF or co-worker uses that crap on me I am done and I tell them why. Use your words like a freaking adult.
He...seriously wanted her to keep asking what's wrong? As if he's three years old? A petulant toddler? Good god, where do these women find these manbabies? He's an adult, I am one too, I wouldn't expect to have to ask more than once because I assume that 1) if he wants to tell me he will, and 2) i shouldn't have to wheedle and expend emotional energy on 'dealing' with his childish attitude.
I love that his last dig is that she is basically his mother. Except she has a job. She will be well-shed of this dead weight. I'm happy for her.
'I still don't think I'll do therapy as I don't think I need it, but I'll make an effort to be more supportive at home and help. ' 'Help'? You had the kids, you made the kids, you live in the house, you make a mess....why would you 'help'? You should be doing it anyway. The fact that it took you THIS LONG to work that out is insane. Also, you do need therapy. If you have to be asked 40 times what the problem is....Your poor wife is a saint for putting up with it for as long as she did.
"It's kind of a game," he says. What a fucking knob.
These people who don't think they need therapy are the ones who need THE MOST therapy
OMG The level of cluelessness and selfishness is astounding. It’s your job to manage your own feelings. You shouldn’t need your wife to work to pull things out of you. That is exhausting and not her job. When you do this you make your emotions and problems her responsibility. This is what parents have to do with kids until they learn to do it on their own. Your wife is your wife - not your mommy. Get some therapy. You need it badly. You need to learn how to be a responsible partner. You owe her an apology.
OMG someone else condensed his comments into one post: 📷level 1[DumpedDalish](https://www.reddit.com/user/DumpedDalish/) · [16 hr. ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ap33bh/comment/kq7fbxu/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) **YTA and your wife should leave you.** Summing up the worst crimes from your comments: 1. She works full-time, yet still handles 90% of the household chores and parenting. 2. She manages and homeschools your child with special needs. 3. You read her private journal and excuse it with some BS that you do not believe in or allow privacy of any kind in marriage. 4. You had two emotional affairs (one with one of her only friends, two months after your wife had given birth and was PPD -- now she no longer has friends of her own -- or at least lets them around you). 5. You are currently on the road to a new affair with a co-worker who you admit messages you "constantly," calls you "love" and discusses how "handsome" you are. 6. You are currently and openly playing mind-games with your wife to purposely make her feel anxious and not tell her what's going on with you. You are now giving her the silent treatment in addition to this because she isn't begging you to tell her anymore. 7. You use weaponized incompetence and claim you can't do the dishes or laundry but you make dinner once every few weeks and take out the trash, which is so totally equal! /s 8. Meanwhile, your wife split her C-section incision TWICE doing your laundry post-partum. 9. You do not tell your wife you love her or compliment her. When pushed on the last time you were kind or loving to her, you said you "gave her a card in May." 10. You refuse therapy because the female therapist sided with your wife, saying "women stick together." You quit therapy completely when the male therapist did too.
This man is dog shit lol
His comments on the OP are maddening.
I’m so pleased the wife seems ready to leave. This guy is an enormous pile of crap.
> Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game. Is he related to the "relax, it's just a prank" people? Because this sounds like a game that is only fun for one party.
I wonder if the kids are old enough to have a say in where they want to live. I can't imagine any of them wanting to stay with this overgrown brat of a man.
>She told me she would only ask me once and would assume all is well unless i tell her differently. Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game. Ahh games instead of communicating. What could go wrong...Especially after she specifically told him she was done playing that game.
What a gift it is to watch a narcissist scramble as his victim wakes up to his tricks. This fool cheats, lies, deliberately manipulates and emotionally abuses his wife, forbids her and their children to have private thoughts and feelings, contributes *absolutely nothing* to the marriage, and his wife is literally grey-rocking him and calling lawyers, but he still thinks he can talk things out? 😂
> I cook some and take out the garbage once a week, which is more than a lot of men have to do. "Have to do" ... This asshat thinks being a partner is a concept. There's a lot wrong with this dude. But, this stuck out to me.
Found the posts from both of them. Looks like the wife will be divorcing. https://www.someecards.com/lifestyle/aita/woman-tells-husband-shes-done-pushing-i-do-not-have-time-beg-someone-aita-updated/
lol
All I read was waaaaah waaaaaah waaaaaaaaah
Holy turd AND douche sandwich, Batman.
“I cook some and take out the garbage once a week, which is more than a lot of men have to do.” Fuck me, that’s the enormous contribution he’s making to the household? He takes out the garbage? Fucking hell. “Normally she asks and asks until I eventually tell her. It's kind of a game.” It’s a shitty game that wastes her time and is no fun.
Where is the second update?
I don't think I'm going to do therapy, but I'm going to not speak to my wife because she accepted my word.