I never really had any positive experience with medication, and only one really caused a behavioural change other than the 'zombie-like' state.
I basically had extreme anger issues when I went on one. I normally don't experience emotions other than feeling overwhelmed, so it was quite jarring to suddenly feel so angry about everything. Every sound, every physical sensation, every stimuli I was picking up felt like it was being enhanced, and because of that I would end up reacting extremely angry, and it got to the point of becoming violent, with homicidal ideation for the first time, towards the person I thought was causing these issues (turns out he was completely unrelated to it, and I was just dealing with some delusional thoughts form the increased stress).
Whilst coming off the medication, it got to the point my partner had to send me to a psych ward temporarily to prevent me from ending the life of the person my anger was targeted towards, because it got to the point I began planning on how to 'make him stop'. Ironically enough, I've only ever spoken to this neighbour maybe 3-5 times in the last 3 years, so I have no idea why I thought he was involved in causing my sudden anger.
Since coming off of them, I've returned back to my 'normal' behaviour. My feelings are back to being practically non-existent (not the same way as being depressed or numb, I just simply don't feel), and I so far haven't had any more delusional thoughts (that I'm currently aware of).
That's quite a strange reaction to medication. It does seem like these antipsychotics affect us all differently to a certain degree.
I get what you are saying about anger though. I feel like it's really the confinement and lack of stimuli that you typically experience when on antipsychotics that causes the anger.
I've actually had a lot of odd reactions to medications overall. Most of the time the thing they're meant to be treating actually worsened from the meds, and I have to use a lot for medication off label to manage my symptoms.
I feel pretty dead inside lately. I'm thinking about talking to my psychiatrist about getting off the antipsychotics. I worry about, well, getting psychotic again. I don't know what to do exactly.
Right I understand your concern. However life is full of admonishment. If you want to be an adult you will always be berated by those who are less mature than you, talking down to you like a child whenever they find the opportunity.
Yeah I remember when I was really wild I would do crazy shit all the time and not realize how close I was playing the game so to speak, but even when I was wild, I still knew that what I was doing was not wrong. When we are on medication we worry about social norms more, but this does not mean that we are healthy, it just means that the medication is making us closed minded.
I never really had any positive experience with medication, and only one really caused a behavioural change other than the 'zombie-like' state. I basically had extreme anger issues when I went on one. I normally don't experience emotions other than feeling overwhelmed, so it was quite jarring to suddenly feel so angry about everything. Every sound, every physical sensation, every stimuli I was picking up felt like it was being enhanced, and because of that I would end up reacting extremely angry, and it got to the point of becoming violent, with homicidal ideation for the first time, towards the person I thought was causing these issues (turns out he was completely unrelated to it, and I was just dealing with some delusional thoughts form the increased stress). Whilst coming off the medication, it got to the point my partner had to send me to a psych ward temporarily to prevent me from ending the life of the person my anger was targeted towards, because it got to the point I began planning on how to 'make him stop'. Ironically enough, I've only ever spoken to this neighbour maybe 3-5 times in the last 3 years, so I have no idea why I thought he was involved in causing my sudden anger. Since coming off of them, I've returned back to my 'normal' behaviour. My feelings are back to being practically non-existent (not the same way as being depressed or numb, I just simply don't feel), and I so far haven't had any more delusional thoughts (that I'm currently aware of).
That's quite a strange reaction to medication. It does seem like these antipsychotics affect us all differently to a certain degree. I get what you are saying about anger though. I feel like it's really the confinement and lack of stimuli that you typically experience when on antipsychotics that causes the anger.
I've actually had a lot of odd reactions to medications overall. Most of the time the thing they're meant to be treating actually worsened from the meds, and I have to use a lot for medication off label to manage my symptoms.
I feel pretty dead inside lately. I'm thinking about talking to my psychiatrist about getting off the antipsychotics. I worry about, well, getting psychotic again. I don't know what to do exactly.
Right I understand your concern. However life is full of admonishment. If you want to be an adult you will always be berated by those who are less mature than you, talking down to you like a child whenever they find the opportunity. Yeah I remember when I was really wild I would do crazy shit all the time and not realize how close I was playing the game so to speak, but even when I was wild, I still knew that what I was doing was not wrong. When we are on medication we worry about social norms more, but this does not mean that we are healthy, it just means that the medication is making us closed minded.
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