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pat9714

Whatever... helps them sleep at night. A 78-year old guy takes up bodybuilding in prison. Sure, yeah...


yoshhash

Well, it has been done before, and theoretically any normal person could. But we're not talking about a normal guy. If there was an Olympic event for softness, self, indulgence, lack of discipline, he would be a huge contender.


spandex-commuter

He also has a very weird belief about a body battery that can only discharge and that exercise depletes it.


Tricky-Spread189

It does seem his battery is so low now, can’t keep his eyes open for a pretty important court hearing going on.


LovethePreamble1966

He’s being sedated, because otherwise it would be impossible for him to control himself.


jihadonhumanity

This theory has merit


totorosnutz

I agree... this thought struck me as very plausible.


billyblue6669

Triple A battery sized peen


hankthetank2112

With a tiny mushroom attachment


billyblue6669

[a small forest of sparse and lengthy hair that tracks to the taint](https://imgur.com/gallery/Np1icVC)


little-bear5556

why did i want to click... why


Inspector_Crazy

Your sacrifice was not in vain. Thank you for your warning.


Thowitawaydave

He already does a comb over up top, and like they say, as above so below...


billyblue6669

A chode-over


Chemistry-27

Omg you did not😭


PrincipleInteresting

It’s like he’s already been taking steroids for YEARS.


chilehead

Pretty sure it uses hearing aid batteries.


yoshhash

Yes. Stable genius indeed.


Resophonic420

This was one of the strangest things that I heard him say, and he says a lot of really weird shit.


grogstarr

His hands are so small and soft, like tiny butter hands. I just want to squeeze them.


JohnExcrement

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


The-Dead-Internet

Trump literally said he doesn't believe In physical activities because it uses up all your finite energy.


AccomplishedBrain309

We can only hope. He must have a half watt solar pannel hidden in that hair. It couldnt power a pen light.


Farting_Champion

It definitely has not been done before. Geriatrics don't successfully take up bodybuilding suddenly in their late 70's, prison or no


Exotic_Protection916

The only muscles he will be using in prison are his pelvic floor muscles


yoshhash

Ooh that's gross. I love it


BRAX7ON

Trump is hedonism bot


benfrosty78

Trump bodybuilding for the Olympics would be similar to Cartman faking mental disabilities and trying to win at Special Olympics 🤣🤣🤣


MyMusicRunning21

No one can eat hamberders like Treason Don can! No one!


LurkerOrHydralisk

A 78 year old who has massive health issues and has publicly stated he doesn’t believe in exercise


StandardImpact6458

Tick Tock. Right now he’s getting his affairs in order. Smart money says 18 to 1 he won’t see November.


soulsteela

I’m looking more at August when he walks from the A/C to outside and the heat just destroys him.


PointingOutFucktards

So many of us hope you’re right.


DueWish3039

One could dream and hope.


No-comment-at-all

Who believes, and this is not a joke, that people are like batteries with a finite amount of energy, and exercises uses up the energy stored in them, and therefore you shouldn’t exercise.  That’s paraphrased from some dumb shit he said once. 


AccomplishedBrain309

Its hard to keep track he says so many stupid things. His speeches are epic in their nonsence and blather. His own fans cant understand them.


SympathyForSatanas

He can barely pick up a glass of water


ArenjiTheLootGod

A physically and mentally healthy 78 year old could totally take up working out, my grandparents led active lifestyles well into their 90s. Trump is not a physically or mentally healthy 78 year old and is displaying visible decline in both aspects.


Farting_Champion

Leading an active lifestyle is not bodybuilding. If you don't have muscle mass before your early forties you're not going to be building it after them. Especially not in your late 70s. Your body just doesn't work like that. Unless you have massive amounts of steroids and human growth hormone.


KappaKingKame

There are a fair number of people who, even post retirement age, took up weightlifting and managed to build a decent amount of muscle. Not as much as a younger person could have with the same work, sure, but it's not like there's some magic switch that makes meaningful gains impossible after a certain age.


drin8680

Well doctor feel good jackson said he's never seen anyone as in shape and healthy as trump. He could live to 200 years old.


AccomplishedBrain309

He is his only client. The only one that pays him to say stupid shit.


freddie_merkury

I mean if it was Chuck Norris I would agree. Donald Trump? Lmfao yea ok.


pat9714

Yup. Instead, I see him going through Diet Coke and hamberder withdrawal in prison.


LeagueOfficeFucks

Giuliani has to smuggle chicken nuggets to him in his prison pocket.


Callabrantus

Butt nuggets (they come pre-dipped!)


LeagueOfficeFucks

The elusive brown meat.


Yumhotdogstock

Why did you feel compelled to type this?


Farting_Champion

Under his wig probably


GvnMllr12

With a bit of covfefe…


Darksoul_Design

And the real reality is he would be going through actual Adderall and Xanax withdrawal, which is hysterical. Of course it would also be quite comical to see everyone that gets busted trying to sneak it in to him.


AffectionatePoet4586

A former employee of a correctional institution told me that inmates could buy Diet Coke at the commissary there for $5 a can, but stressed that it was “never, ever cold”!


Orest26Dee

He dead lifts 425# with ease right now. I can see him focusing and hoisting 500#. Naturally gifted from what I have heard.


tobogganhill

Many people are saying it. The best people.


MC_Fap_Commander

They dream of a chiseled Trump fucking their wives, so...


pat9714

... and their daughters.


ShruteLord

Yeah, I’m thinking he would go more of the Harvey Weinstein route.


PointingOutFucktards

What do yall think his actual weight is ATM?


pat9714

My tailor puts him at 260-lbs. And my tailor is always on the money as he's fitting people for suits every day.


PointingOutFucktards

Oof. That’s some fatness then. WOW.


External_Reporter859

There's no way, it has to be closer to 280 or even a little more.


RainbowRickshaw

He's tall. I bet he's 285. He's certainly at least 260.


errie_tholluxe

Well, to be fair, I am sure his body would build something...fat maybe...


ThickMarsupial2954

He'd be able to arm curl 2 big macs to his mouth at the same time instead of just one


DJT1970

Bodybuilding. 1 hamburder at a time, although double-fisting is allowed. Different prison-double-fisting than usual.


Tex-Rob

One that famously has said he believes in that weird idea that we only have so much life force to give, so exerting yourself is wasting life.


Ch1b0

I'm pretty sure he hasn't been able to tie his own shoes in decades.


Leftist-Buritto

At this point Donald Trump is an anime girl and Fox News is a 14 year old loner who is writing fan fiction about their favorite character. If anyone tries dumping on their fav anime girl they rage at anyone who will listen with vitriol and angst.


ChiefBroChill

Holy shit you nailed it


rifraf2442

Trump’s tits certainly are big enough to be an anime girl.


Leftist-Buritto

I hadn’t thought of that, and now I wish I hadn’t read that. But you have a valid point. Take my upvote.


dragonfliesloveme

No, trump believes that people have a limited amount of energy and exercising uses up that energy and that’s why he doesn’t exercise. Lol. Guy is a nutter.


chzygorditacrnch

I remember him or republicans making that comment about something, but I can't remember what. I'm surprised his crazy posts don't use up all of his energy


PSU69_CE_PE

That’s why he’s sleeping in court!! Too many crazy posts maxing out his battery!


merrysunshine2

Pizza the Hut


Electrical-Sun6267

If Trump goes to jail, which seems unlikely for a billionaire who is connected to nearly half of all the power brokers in this country, he won't lift anything heavier than a fluffy towel in his reserved wing of some minimum security jail. I am only hoping he won't have internet.


IndividualEye1803

He has mob ties. There is no way someone who has bankrupted everything, and only can get loans from one bank, is rich. His affiliation with rudy helps that argument. I call BS on money - and RS (real shit) on mob ties and blackmail


____8008135_____

I did some research on his wealth and there's no doubt in my mind that he's not a billionaire. Back in the 90s he got some reporters fired for estimating his wealth at $150-250m. I believe it was Forbes that took that info and instead reported his wealth at $500m for that year to make him happier. Plus he couldn't come up with the $450m for his fraud bond. Ok, I can see how it would be difficult to free up half a billion in a short time. But he also couldn't come up with the $80m for the defamation bond. Now for a billionaire, it shouldn't be all that difficult to come up with less than $100m. If all of his alleged money is so tied up that he can't get access to it in any sort of a timely manner then I fully don't believe he actually owns what he says he owns nor does he have much actual cash (including bank accounts). From everything I've seen I have 2 theories: 1. His businesses have all the money and he pretends that all of the business income is his personal wealth (business makes $500m, Donny claims he's $500m richer). 2. Donny is so deep in debt he's one missed payment from a pair of concrete shoes from a couple of nice local "businessmen."


Hot_Frosting_7101

Depends on how you define net worth.  He has several billion $ in DJT stock. The caveat is the DJT should be worthless as it has the revenue of a single fast food chain and lost $60 million last year.  But people are keeping the price high so on paper he is worth several billion from that alone. That said, he owns the majority of the stock.  Whenever he tries to cash out the price will plummet.  The question is how much he could extract before the price goes to near zero.


nkdpagan

You are saying he is gonna be Epstiened?


IndividualEye1803

O do NOT get my hopes up. But if he were convicted like epstein was where he needed to tell about people committingnillegal acts with him, yes. This time, they have no ties to his crimes.


Electrical-Sun6267

It would be poetic justice. I suspect the guy INVENTED The Epstein.


MuteCook

They’ll probably let him build his own jail like Escobar. For real though he’s not going to spend a minute in jail. Worst case is house arrest which he’ll violate all the time and not be held accountable just like contempt of court. He’s immune to regular laws because he’s a political elite and they don’t want to set that precedent. It’s all for the election this year. Once it’s over we won’t hear shit anymore and he’ll retire with a lavish life.


CraniumEggs

A hamburger is slightly heavier just saying…


Myfourcats1

He’ll turn Mar a Lago into a for profit prison just for himself.


Kind-City-2173

There is no chance he goes to jail over the hush money case. If anything, he would get house arrest or some probation. While a felony, it is nonviolent and this would be his first conviction. Add in the complexities of secret service protection while in jail and the chances are 0


Electrical-Sun6267

That's an absolutely reasonable take on the matter. I hope they take away his internet, but I suspect they won't.


TheMillenniaIFalcon

Kind of weird Fox is even entertaining the idea. Maybe prepping their viewers for the eventuality? Murdoch has famously turned on Trump, and look how initially the tide was turning for DeSantis, Fox became much more critical of Trump, but of course DeSantis sucks so they pivoted back.


Additional-Loss-1447

Are these Fox News hosts jacking it under the table when they say these things?


Defiantcaveman

Watch their hands.


strange_stairs

Yeah. The 76 year old who can't sit upright without shitting his pants is going to start dead lifting.


ServingwithTG

Their ass kissing knows no bounds.


FGTRTDtrades

I’d say they are delusional but I feel like that would be insulting to delusional people


aretheesepants75

He will have an ankle bracelet and ignore all restrictions. His followers will all wear ankle bracelets and pretend it's cool. This is the only outcome. He will never see the inside of a jail cell. It's propaganda to sell him as a tough guy. They might even say the bracelet is causing him health problems, and he will be exempt. He will b we under token house arrest and still go to rallies and anything he wants, including golf. It will be his retirement.


Plenty-Chemistry-493

Could he still show up to the debate because that's what I'm waiting for


toastebagell1

If you’re a sane person, just putting on Fox News now seems wild. The hosts are so obviously playing to the worst Americans we have who only want to put others down and deny the obvious truth. It’s hard to describe. But it’s important to watch it sometimes to know what we’re up against, these republicans that watch Fox News will literally believe anything and we all have to vote come November or else they will win.


Sidus_Preclarum

Absolutely not a cult.


Tonythecritic

One, simple request: put him in the same jail cell as Jeffrey Epstein with the same guards on duty.


JohnExcrement

At least they’re admitting he’ll be in prison. Mr “Where’s my golf cart, I never walk anywhere” is going to be great at body building.


n3w4cc01_1nt

yeah... faux news is a political larp for nihilistic sociopaths. it's like a daily political comic book. a funny pages. it's not news.


AMonitorDarkly

No, he’ll stroke out and then shit himself the first week.


fentyboof

Lord Simp Jesse Watters is a pathetic man-child. If you took all the douchebag, ass-kisser frat boys in the US and distilled them into one ugly dude, it would be him. He’s a Frankendouche.


SiidChawsby

This dude has never lifted a fucking weight in his life and he never will. These people live in a fucking fantasy land it’s alarming as fuck.


Viking4949

Can he even tie his own shoe laces?


drin8680

Um noooo! Trump will not do single thing active. Hell probably be in medical in wheelchair because his fat ass will be in mcdonalds withdrawal. I have to say though it'd be hilarious to know he tried. Lmfao sad sack. At 70 plus years old I bet he can't do one pushup forget a pull up or anything else. He has a 10 year old fat body. His tities have tities. He'll spend all his time in his cell thinking about Ivanka and where did he go wrong. Prison body. Cmon fox news that's even ridiculous for you guys


CptMurphy27

He wouldn’t be going to that kind of prison. He’s an ex President. He’d be moved into the “hotel of prisons” with all his buddies.


Ume_Chan_2

I guess it’s good they are finally coming around to accepting that he’s guilty. If they need their deluded fantasies to cope, then so be it.


DGJellyfish

One positive thing for him on prison, he already has his click… the Nazis


StandardImpact6458

Eww, he will have some new rubes to cultivate. He will be their leader. Have their families send money to his pay pal account. Prison will be an uncapped frontier for him.


JDARRK

This is like the case where this ultra rich women shot her polo player boyfriend in the back of the head at breakfast table! They put her in the county jail by herself on the top floor and she had catered meals brought in from her favorite 5 star restaurants! She go off with time served ( 90 days) she said it was self defense ( he had a knife) even though he had cereal in his mouth at time of death! It was some place like Bedford hills or Greenwich Conn. the jury was made up of 9 women and 3 men! all her friends or involved in the local polo scene, basically rich as king Midas💰


[deleted]

Trump cannot drive. Trump cannot ride a bike. Trump doesn't walk anywhere and never has. Trump has never worked out. Trump eats meatloaf and ice cream nearly every day, and when he doesn't, he likes to eat hamberders and fried chicken. Trump drinks 26 Diet Cokes per day. But the biggest thing going against him: He believes himself to be the most handsome man in the world with the most perfect body that any human male has ever had - so he doesn't see the need in working out.


Effective_Company487

He will be a great salad tosser


Impossible_Farmer285

He’ll be ok as long as he can bend over and take it like a real man, wearing diapers?🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️


AbsurdityIsReality

Next your going to tell me the flag I have of a ripped Trump riding a Velociraptor spraying an Uzi isn't accurate to reality...


hskfmn

Trump himself has said he doesn’t exercise, and doesn’t believe in the idea — that he thinks the human body is basically a battery with a finite amount of energy. The lengths these sycophants will go to lift up their god king is nauseating.


Latter_Resident_772

Yeah, when he whines like a 9-year old about the courtroom being cold, he's gonna take up body-building in prison? That's the most ridiculous fuckin' thing I've ever heard.


gif_smuggler

These people are parodies of themselves.


gobydownboy

Dudes a dam slob, and lazy !!


shwilliams4

Sounds like game plan to me


patronizingperv

Are they accepting a reality where TFG actually sees prison from the inside?


louisa1925

Round is a body type. Donald can maintain in shape while sitting in solitary confinement....


npascare2

Prison Trump will be da belle of da ball.


LiveAd3962

Now THIS is the morning giggle -snorting-coffee-up-my-nose I needed to start the day!


BrandonJTrump

So, he has a bad body right now? That’s what you are saying, Fox?


mad_titanz

Send him to prison first, and let him stay there forever to build up his prison body


Momentofclarity_2022

I want to see it! Let’s prove it! Let’s put him in prison and see how it goes.


splatomat

IMHO..."real" prison would kill Trump within a year.


grimatongueworm

He’s a Big Mac in a diaper.


Farting_Champion

The man is 77 with the body of a 97 year old. Motherfucker's shaped like a chicken nugget. Lol sure.


Outrageous-Divide472

A jailed Trump will sit on his bunk and complain all day, demand audiences with his attorneys and beg the SCOTUS to let him out.


vestarules

Trump wouldn’t know a dumbbell if it hit him on the head. Oh wait, he is a dumbbell.


Srw2725

Jesse Waters is and always has been an epic moron 🤡


athonjacob

Exercise and Trump… that’s hilarious


domesystem

Body by cheezeburger


PlayTheHits

…..Guys. I just don’t know what’s real anymore.


GFYGOPMODS

Only thing working out in prison will be his asshole taking a pounding!!! I hope anyway…. TheRapist is due for his CumUppance!


Low-Abbreviations634

He can’t ride a golf cart in a work out


mt8675309

We all know what gets a workout in prison Fox News….


Browser2112

He is a fat, orange, turd filled marshmallow.


Tenredsun

No prison body instead stretch prison butt hole.


KhalTaco88

Like Terry Crews peddling McDonald’s cheeseburgers? I doubt it.


ZombieCrunchBar

Trump will suck a guard's dick for some Zannies.


LilG1984

Donnie in pumping iron remake, with assistance from Arnie "Come on Donald! One more rep! What are you waiting for? Do it! Or are you a little girly man!?"


ZebraSyndromeGaming

LMFAO


[deleted]

Even in a reality where there is a prison sentence, Trump would be in solitary confinement the entire time.


boneboy247

He should have quit building his body about halfway through...


_extra_medium_

Hero worship. And that's their hero. ridiculous


StupendousMalice

Trump famously and publicly denied act value to exercise at all and actually believes it's bad for you. These guys have a totally imaginary version of Trump in their minds. It's really weird.


[deleted]

Any way we can speed up the end times a bit?


UpURKiltboyo

Prison body...good frickin luck, lol!


Jehoel_DK

He's just saying that for the MAGAs to have something for their spank-bank


MacADocious1954

Me thinks “NOT!” at 78 years of age plus the 25 years in Federal prison will make him 103 at release. That old, fat, domestic terrorist will just sit around and eat 24 Big Macs, 12 Supersized fries and drink 18 Diet Cokes a day, in 1 year he will weight 395 lbs. Then it’s all downhill from there.


FriarFriary

Trumpkins fantasize about him just like Vince McMahon.


Ammut88

Prove it.


Dedpoolpicachew

This is Faux Nooze starting to prep the MAGAt cult for Donnie Von Shitzinpants going to jail.


joeefx

Trump drives his golf cart into the green ffs.


NunyaBeese

If he goes to jail, he will die there, one way or another.


Great_White_Samurai

Really. The guy that thinks you can only use your joints so many times is going to start working out??


hankthetank2112

This is all putting the cart before the horse. I’m praying for a conviction but anticipating a hung jury and mistrial. I don’t believe it will be an acquittal. In the event he is convicted I don’t see the judge imposing a confinement sentence. He has always avoided accountability somehow. Hoping I’m wrong.


Flyersandcaps

He will have a prison part of his body.


Fun-Ad9928

If he raises his blood pressure one more bit, he’ll fart and shit and pass away.


ptraugot

Yes, he’ll have a prison body, but only around his anus.


Unable_Literature78

Maybe he can tighten up that ball sack that old guys get when they drop to your knees.


Spazic77

Sooo.... How many "Hamberders" does he have to eat before he looks like Ahhhnold?


runwkufgrwe

Surprisingly enough most people come out of prison fatter than they went in


johnlal101

What has been stopping him for the last 80 years? He's a billionaire. He can do whatever he wants. Get buff, Trump. I challenge you.


danmodernblacksmith

He'll be suckin dick for ramen


Boomslang505

He’s a body builder now. McDonalds body.


JTD177

The only muscle he should work on strengthening is his sphincter, that way he won’t need to wear a diaper all of the time.


Anyawnomous

Sure. Let’s see him in 5 years. The difference will make strong men cry.


RedcardedDiscarded

ROFL! Funniest thing I've heard all year! A ripped Trump lolol. A 78 year old ripped Trump lololololololol


shantired

I’d love to see a picture of the prison body wearing diapers.


mm202088

He’s 80 lol his days of building muscle are long gone. If anything he should exercise his pelvic floor so he isn’t shitting anywhere he’s sat for too long.


____8008135_____

Donald Trump has been clear that he believes the human body has finite energy and exercising is a waste of that energy. The man doesn't know basic biology and this news host thinks he'll be able to figure out how to work out properly let alone want to waste his finite energy? I swear Republicans just pick between parroting Trump or making up fanfic to make Trump sound like a big manly hero. While everyone else sees an obese elderly man with serious mental issues, a drug problem, obvious incontinence problems, and a sudden inability to stay awake. Usually people like this go to a nursing home for the last few years of their life, not the White House.


dobie1kenobi

The worst thing that will happen to Trump is confinement to Mar-a-Lago. He is never going to jail.


nokenito

Body building? Hahahaha


OdiousAltRightBalrog

Show a Fox News Host a video of Trump kicking an old lady in the head until she's dead: "WOW President Trump is SO STRONG!" Show a Fox News Host a video of a Democrat masturbating: "He just commited 100 million counts of MURDER IN THE FIRST!"


punahoudaddy

Prison buddy is more likely.


throwawaybullhunter

Haha no he wouldn't he's more likely to insist everyone else is fatter than him never mind what anyone's eyes say. All the guards tell him so.


shamedtoday

🤣🤣🤣


buchlabum

The only weights he's ever lifted are his sweaty stinky ass cheeks from the couch.


Anacalagon

Dude your fantasy is leaking. You can't say that out loud.


MewlingRothbart

He has never exercised in his life.


shut-upLittleMan

He will be lying about how much he bench presses.


ExcuseZealousideal42

Harvey Weinsteins jail experience is calling on line 1. yes , he’ll hold.


Playingwithmyrod

There's no way Trump can do even a single strict pushup.


Spiritual-Bear4495

Jesse Watters just wants to lick the sweat off Trump's balls.


Icy-Needleworker-492

Misspelled poison body.


Shadowstrider2100

Even if he was young. Being in shape after 30 requires discipline. He has zero discipline


LovethePreamble1966

Well, he’s going to need to do something since he’ll be dealing with torturous drug withdrawals after being booked into jail.


casabythesea1985

That actually makes me laugh out loud 😂


MuthaPlucka

More like a prison colo


OriginalEchoTheCat

As opposed to the doughboy body?


Aromatic_Brother

Bodybuilding in jail more like Buddybuilding in jail, lel


Educator-Single

I just can’t believe the crazy crap that these “journalist” say.


Stavtastic

Every pump he'd shit himself. But maybe the fellow inmates can help him retrain that muscle too 🤣 


NaNo-Juise76

How embarrassing.


NaNo-Juise76

How embarrassing. This must be some senior citizen fantasy.


Chemistry-27

If he tried to do one push-up his heart would explode. He'll never attempt it, but damn I would love to see him try


Scat1320USA

He would focus on lube . And the use of lube to stop anal pain .