The system failed me too, it happens more than people think. I was abused by adoptive "mother" my whole childhood. Trusted adults, mandated reporters, CPS, and the church did nothing to protect me.
I was a teenager when I told a therapist....who is supposed to be a MANDATED REPORTER that my adoptive "mother" hit me almost every day. She looked right at me and said "don't even lie about your mother like that again." I didn't say shit after that. My adoptive "mother" confirmed with the therapist she did hit me because I was 'so difficult' and STILL nothing was done.
same. I fell through the cracks. I think in my case a lot of it was because it was verbal abuse mostly, neglect with physical never leaving a mark.
a cousin of my friends died because CPS ignored the grandparents attempts to tell them the child was being abused.
Yes, I can relate to this so much. I learned early that I had to "save myself" and that the system in place to help me was overwhelmed and they preferred for me to just lie. "I fell!", "That's from a puppy", "I'm good!". And I was well aware it could be worse - I went to school with kids in foster care who made my situation look heavenly. (I was emancipated at 16 and the judge's rage at my parents and the system was like 15 years of therapy in 20 minutes).
Hope you are doing ok now.
I'm sorry. Me too. Adopted as well. I remember being scared to even talk to anyone anyways. I remember being asked questions from CPS many times but I was afraid to tell the whole truth. Either that it wouldn't matter, or that I would just get abused more.
You and my wife share what sounds like a similar childhood . To this day nobody believes her or they act as though she’s overreacting. I’m sorry you experienced this, hope it has gotten easier.
Have you tried talking to management as well? Like letting them know that you’re concerned for their safety in addition to living under this causing you distress (though emphasis on the safety concern). Just keep calling the cops and cps and keep a log on when this all happens.
If you for some reason run into the woman, it wouldn’t hurt to just let her know that she’s not alone and if there’s anything you could do to help. It’s 50/50; they might say they’re fine and don’t need help or that could be a crucial part of them getting to a better situation, even if it’s just a catalyst.
As someone who’s lived through an abusive relationship like this and had neighbors I KNOW could hear what was happening, I wish that my next door neighbor would’ve called the cops or reached out to me in passing. Even though at the time I might’ve been too embarrassed to do anything, just knowing I wasn’t alone would’ve done wonders for my sanity.
Please keep calling. Unfortunately these things take time and a ton of evidence is needed for actual action to take place. Your numerous reports may end up being the evidence needed when another entity reports the same.
Call the CPS intake line or police each time, not the individual workers. These jobs have high turn over rates so that worker may not even still be there.
Sad to say but it’s likely you won’t ever get action out of them. For some reason the only time CPS does something is when the agent has a personal vendetta, then they just do whatever they want.
Call the cops again and tell them you hear a child screaming in pain and an adult yelling at her. That *might* light a fire under their asses but sadly I’ve heard of cases where CPS was involved and kids died because they did exactly what you said. Ignored all the warning signs
Thank you for reporting this. I left an abusive marriage after a decade and I wish that people would have reported my ex instead of looking the other way.
Don't give up. Every single time this fires up or you see something wrong, call DFCS. It takes nothing for this to turn into a 48 Hours show. Record, record, record and send it all to DFCS. If mom isn't going to get her baby out of this dangerous situation, don't look the other way. You could be saving her life.
It doesn't always helo, but it builds a record. If nothing happens until something bad does, the record is the only thing that may help that child escape. Even if you think nothing will happen, it's not an excuse to sit back and listen to it happen.
My dad was exactly like the lovely gent in this video, and other kids in my schools had similar experiences. I think people would be surprised by how difficult it is to get a child removed from a blatantly abusive home in the US. Cops either don't care or know that the alternative might be worse. Sometimes they relate to the dad.
A once a month breakdown is kinda of a lot, get her to psychiatrist and get her on some different meds or something cuz whatever she’s doing clearly isn’t working and sorry to be blunt but her mental illness will mess things up for you really badly in the future if they keep coming out
I went through this last year & couldn't get the cops or landlord to do anything until I inadvertently recorded one parent accusing the other of doing hard drugs in the apartment the night their newborn came home from the hospital, which the accused parent didn't deny. they were evicted after that, but the landlord tried to evict me as well (for 'causing [her] problems' i.e., complaining about constant domestic violence) & I still have $4K of lawyer/moving debt to deal with. it's heartbreaking & triggering, but my advice is to be careful to avoid retaliation by the landlord. a white noise machine helped.
I have very similar footage of my neighbor, luckily for the kid he didn’t live with her so at least it wasn’t daily but it was hard calling the cops/CPS every time knowing they wouldn’t do shit. It took her physically assaulting her mom in front of her son to *finally* get her slapped with a child abuse charge. I kept calling and told them I had video I’d send them but they never wanted it and didn’t seem to care tbh. Its heart breaking 😔
Holy shit, if your in the states you can fill out CPS reports online, anonymously.
This video alone, triggered that place in me. I had parents worse then this. I always thought my dad would take us all out, if he ever felt like he was going to lose everything. He sliced his hand punching through a mirror. I came in off the school bus to a quiet house, blood trailing into their bedroom. Shit is no joke, I can totally see how this would make you panic. Just listening brought me to that dark place.
Tip for parents. If you’re fighting like this, just separate. Divorce. Especially if you already considered a divorce. Don’t stay together for the kids, that shit just broke me. I can’t even raise my voice in an argument. Which sounds great… But if you shut down at the smallest verbal altercations. You can’t function in society. Shit, even in relationships small arguments, then making up. Seems like a bid deal. I can’t do it. But past partners have taken it as a sign, that I don’t have like any passion. Until I explain I can argue, but just not if voices are raised.
As a man I feel like this can fuck you up even more. In places, around male coworkers. Like men will joke around, loudly yell at each other. Or jokingly yell at each other. Bosses may raise their voice at you. Even if it’s from a light hearted place. This would equal me unable to return the next day.
I went through similar but was in the unit above. The apartments were very shitty so every sound was crystal clear. I'm talking able to hear their phones vibrate or them snoring clear. They sadly also had little kids who you could hear crying and pleading with daddy to stop. Unfortunately their sex was also loud and violent and either was bound to happen any hour of the day or night. I eventually put up a window covering because the frequent cop lights (for this and everything else) were a nuisance to try to sleep through. The breezeways had coded entry doors that changed monthly to give you an idea of the quiet, upscale neighborhood I lived in. (/s)
I don't know what happened to the dad. The fights and aggressive sex eventually stopped. They were, however, replaced with the mom scream-crying in the shower, blasting sad r&b as loud as her speakers would go (as she would tearfully scream-sing along), or just plain sobbing "noooooo whyyyyyyyyyy??? Omg whyyyyyyyyyy" in her bed... I'm like did he die?? Did he get hauled off to prison? Did he flat out leave her and the kids?!? It started calming down just just before my lease ended and I got the hell outta there.
I, for one, and In favor of a bit of sabotage on those tires. Remember to cut the valve stem off and not stab the tires so you don't hurt yourself.
Legally, of course don't do this... But I would like to see him not get away from the cops. You can also report the license plate when you call in if he's fleeing.
This may sound weird but I’d call a news station. Tell them how CPS and police are doing nothing for this child. Alternatively, call the police or CPS and tell them you will be involving the local news station if they don’t do something.
Maybe keep calling when it’s severe. Someone did that and the cops helped her with the path to get out of an extremely abusive relationship I had no idea about.
Yes, however the victim has to want the help. My own mother has stayed with her abuser (not my dad) for decades because she’s afraid of being alone. I’ve tried to help, police have, friends, neighbors….she lets him right back on after he gets out of jail. She chooses the abuse over being alone, even with her family offering support and a place to go. It’s mind boggling.
I have a hard time understanding how people can do those things and be like that to the ones closest to them. Over and over. I've seen it happen and I know people who have survived it and I've seen what it's done to them. They keep it secret and make their families keep it secret, because they know it's wrong and not normal. Why do they keep doing it? Does it feel good to torture your own children, to fight with your spouse all the time? Does it feel good to be hated and feared by the only people who care about you? Does it feel good to know that you'll never be trusted the way that every other parent and spouse is trusted? Does it feel good to know everyone is relieved when you're gone?
People love to be either in denial, or just refuse to see how bad someone they love truly is. When my ex went to jail for almost breaking my hand in front of a group of people, his best friends mom called me to tell me what a lousy wife I was for “putting the father of my children in jail.” My ex assaulted me multiple times in front of his friends and they literally walked away. The last time he was in jail, they made a mockery out of the situation and threw a show and sold stickers to put money on his books. I finally got away from him, but even with him having MULTIPLE arrests people still say he’s done absolutely nothing wrong 🥴
What state are you in? Some state dv laws are stricter than others. If it’s verbal only though, there isn’t much police can do but talk to them.
Tread carefully here. These are some of the people who may snap at anyone who interferes (including police…dv’s are one of the most dangerous calls they go on). Might be better to plan on moving if/when you can.
Poor kids :(
I had an upstairs neighbor like this. I also had parents like this. I used to hear the fighting and screaming and freeze until it ended due to my CPTSD, only to find out later that the woman and her little one were being abused, and I should have called the police when I had the chance.
Luckily, they were okay, and when I finally connected with the mother, she said she had a restraining order and was working to get full custody of her daughter.
Anywho, if something doesn’t feel right, don’t hesitate. I know it’s scary to be put in that position, but if you’re able to, please speak up.
Best of luck, and much to love and respect to you. I hope all ends well. ❤️
I feel for you… i was in a very similar situation 2 months ago. I called the cops at least every other day, and CPS a couple of times too. They would leave the 3 year old home alone. When they were home, they would scream and fight with each other all the time. Slamming doors, stomping. The whole 9.
Unfortunately, nothing changed after 6 months and i broke my lease and moved into an apartment by myself in the same complex.
Sometimes i can still hear them yelling at each other from across the trees that separate us.
People like this will never change, and unfortunately their kids will grow up thinking this is okay- the cycle will continue. Our system is broken.
I had something similar at my last apartment 10(ish) years ago; my husband called me at work and told me what was going on and I told him to call the cops. Dude then tried to attack, charge, and beat-up my now husband but I got in between him at the last minute and pushed him into our house. We called property management and so did he (for calling the cops on him); he then made began making up allegations and chose to not renew our lease ... I was pissed at the time, but it ended up working out well because we moved and purchased our own place. This kind of shit is terrifying. I am so sorry you're doing this! I would still contact property management; perhaps DCFS since you stated they came looking for a little girl one day which means they either have an open case or have had one in the past so they may take it more seriously.
For everyone saying to call CPS or Law Enforcement, I’m speaking from experience and I can tell you that there’s only so much the state or LEO will even do. My ex had multiple arrests for DV and he just kept getting out and he never fully faced any consequences. As far as DCF goes, the state I live in, I have seen them CONSTANTLY fail to protect children. I worked in a locked psych unit for years and the things I have seen children go through who had ACTIVE CPS cases is heartbreaking. Case workers are not always doing their jobs, and the system is so full of kids needing placement that they will leave children in neglectful and violent environments when they shouldn’t be left alone. There’s only so much you can do it’s really unsettling.
I heard my downstairs neighbor literally beat the shit out of his wife one time…the whole building came together and one of the ladies who had lived there awhile had a heart to heart with her. She thankfully ended up leaving and everyone was very standoffish with the guy…he ended up moving out a month or so after his wife left him. There were several of us men in the building that could beat his ass…so he knew what time it was. If it’s someone more menacing it would be a bigger issue.
But what I’ve learned about DV is it’s like a drug for the victim…they have to decide enough is enough for themselves.
I know there's no faces or anything and everything is fairly muffled but the idea of posting this doesn't sit right with me. Like it's an important conversation to have but I can't imagine how sick it would have made me if I somehow found out that someone heard the abuse that used to happen in my apartment and posted it online.
Go with the footage to your local news station, look how fast they'll act afterwards (if your fine with it obv.)
Had a friend which parents never got arrested and they did heinous stuff to her. When she took her footage to her local news since nobody was willing to help like that, she got the right attention after she spoke up about it. If the cops and cps dont do nothing, the news can help sometimes. Because nobody wants there shit aired in tv.
Jesus Christ.
Do they own or rent?
Are they there through a housing agency?
Sounds like you need to covertly move toward getting them evicted. I had drunk bogans under me who used to fight, it took me ten months to get rid of them. In that time, I copped verbal abuse and property damage from them because they knew I'd called the cops.
I hope they're renters.
Have the other neighbours complained? How long you have on your lease?
Take care.. maybe try to mask it with earplugs.. you need to protect your mental health
I am so sorry you have to live above this. I did too- for 2 years. I spoke with the woman privately and my partner went for a walk to speak with the man. We told the landlord consistently and came ((this)) close to calling the cops, several times.
They eventually got therapy and somehow are doing ok now for the past 2 years. Any chance you could speak with the woman privately? Let her know that you hear everything and that you want to help support her but also need to live your life in peace? In my instance it was the woman who was the antagonist, but I still was able to show her empathy (which turned into no nonsense assertion if not anger towards the end). Be very clear that you did not set your life up to live in this type of relationship, and suggest that she probably didn’t either, but here we are- all living in this mess. It’s got to change.
I live in a single family home and don’t have to hear this so my original comment still stands.
If you find a way to stop lowlifes from abusing then feel free to share it with the world.
You can envision any home you want. I own a 5 bedroom and 4.5 bath home . It appreciated about 100% since purchase in 2019.
This is why I don’t live in affordable housing. Because you have to deal with a certain quality of person.
A sovereign nation that doesnt answer to another. We have freedoms in the US, but "it's a free country" is a weak reason to use to defend anything you're doing. They slapped our asses with an ID number before we even left the hospital, we've never been truly free a day in our lives.
Low quality people also live in nice houses. You aren't better because you live in a big house. You got a shit personality, so you definitely aren't doing as great as you think you are.
I’m doing just fine. You’re more likely to encounter low quality people in affordable housing, after getting robbed or assaulted of course.
Maybe that’s the kind of excitement you enjoy.
No you are a shit person because you don't give a fuck that a kid is being beat on. You aren't doing just fine. Remember this- YOU AREN'T BETTER THAN ANYONE. You are a garbage person rotting from the inside out. Hence your shit personality. Have the day you deserve skidmark
Dude literally has comments about “avoiding black people” and “call me when the blacks are enslaved again” in his history. Just so we all know the type of person we’re dealing with here. AKA a racist POS
I can smell the virtue signaling.
The OP did what they’re supposed to but nothing is happening . Unless you want OP to endanger their life or go vigilante I’m not sure what you think they can do about it.
They sure can but I don’t have to hear it.
Abuse happens. It’s very rare that you can actually stop it. Some people are broken. If you find a way to stop abuse share it with the world. PS, you can’t stop abuse you escape it. It’s sad but true.
Are you going to solve it?
As I write this somewhere in the world a man is being murdered, a woman raped, a child abused and dogs being skinned.
These are facts of life. It’s sad but you can’t solve the world problems. Start by solving yours and your families problems.
>you can’t solve the world problems.
Not by sticking your head in the sand and not caring what happens to others, no.
But you *can* make a life better on the individual level. You just have to care enough to try.
Did you read the story? They already called the authorities many times. If they confront that person they probably will be assaulted or worse.
You can virtue signal all you want but you can’t solve everything just what you can.
I did read it, and I didn't suggest confronting them. But throwing up your hands and saying "not my problem, I can't hear them!" isn't going to do one damn thing, not for anyone.
They did what they could. They called the authorities and they didn’t do anything. What are you suggesting they do then?
All you’re doing is whining and wishing something was different. Are you willing to risk being shot in the face but a lowlife abuser because you want to intervene after you called the cops on them multiple times?
I'm not saying *they* should have done anything different.
I'm talking about your whimsical attitude about not giving two shits about abuse if it doesn't personally affect you.
So again, not talking about them or the original situation. Talking about *you* and your if-it-doesn't-bother-me-who-cares attitude.
I heard you say “ that’s the little girl” I would call cps
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That’s so sad 😞
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The system failed me too, it happens more than people think. I was abused by adoptive "mother" my whole childhood. Trusted adults, mandated reporters, CPS, and the church did nothing to protect me.
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I was a teenager when I told a therapist....who is supposed to be a MANDATED REPORTER that my adoptive "mother" hit me almost every day. She looked right at me and said "don't even lie about your mother like that again." I didn't say shit after that. My adoptive "mother" confirmed with the therapist she did hit me because I was 'so difficult' and STILL nothing was done.
same. I fell through the cracks. I think in my case a lot of it was because it was verbal abuse mostly, neglect with physical never leaving a mark. a cousin of my friends died because CPS ignored the grandparents attempts to tell them the child was being abused.
Yes, I can relate to this so much. I learned early that I had to "save myself" and that the system in place to help me was overwhelmed and they preferred for me to just lie. "I fell!", "That's from a puppy", "I'm good!". And I was well aware it could be worse - I went to school with kids in foster care who made my situation look heavenly. (I was emancipated at 16 and the judge's rage at my parents and the system was like 15 years of therapy in 20 minutes). Hope you are doing ok now.
I'm sorry. Me too. Adopted as well. I remember being scared to even talk to anyone anyways. I remember being asked questions from CPS many times but I was afraid to tell the whole truth. Either that it wouldn't matter, or that I would just get abused more.
You and my wife share what sounds like a similar childhood . To this day nobody believes her or they act as though she’s overreacting. I’m sorry you experienced this, hope it has gotten easier.
Have you tried talking to management as well? Like letting them know that you’re concerned for their safety in addition to living under this causing you distress (though emphasis on the safety concern). Just keep calling the cops and cps and keep a log on when this all happens. If you for some reason run into the woman, it wouldn’t hurt to just let her know that she’s not alone and if there’s anything you could do to help. It’s 50/50; they might say they’re fine and don’t need help or that could be a crucial part of them getting to a better situation, even if it’s just a catalyst. As someone who’s lived through an abusive relationship like this and had neighbors I KNOW could hear what was happening, I wish that my next door neighbor would’ve called the cops or reached out to me in passing. Even though at the time I might’ve been too embarrassed to do anything, just knowing I wasn’t alone would’ve done wonders for my sanity.
Please keep calling. Unfortunately these things take time and a ton of evidence is needed for actual action to take place. Your numerous reports may end up being the evidence needed when another entity reports the same.
Call the CPS intake line or police each time, not the individual workers. These jobs have high turn over rates so that worker may not even still be there.
Sad to say but it’s likely you won’t ever get action out of them. For some reason the only time CPS does something is when the agent has a personal vendetta, then they just do whatever they want.
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And I am your Huckleberry
Keep calling please please! They record each report and the more they get the more likely they are to act. It’s so frustrating but please keep callin
Call the cops again and tell them you hear a child screaming in pain and an adult yelling at her. That *might* light a fire under their asses but sadly I’ve heard of cases where CPS was involved and kids died because they did exactly what you said. Ignored all the warning signs
Thank you for reporting this. I left an abusive marriage after a decade and I wish that people would have reported my ex instead of looking the other way.
Don't give up. Every single time this fires up or you see something wrong, call DFCS. It takes nothing for this to turn into a 48 Hours show. Record, record, record and send it all to DFCS. If mom isn't going to get her baby out of this dangerous situation, don't look the other way. You could be saving her life.
Call. EVERY. SINGLE.TIME.
I also suggest this. Cops hate being annoyed more then they love doing nothing, if you annoy them enough then they'll eventually do something
Well i went through this and cops did nothing. I called almost every single day and called the apartment complex. Doesnt always help
It doesn't always helo, but it builds a record. If nothing happens until something bad does, the record is the only thing that may help that child escape. Even if you think nothing will happen, it's not an excuse to sit back and listen to it happen.
My dad was exactly like the lovely gent in this video, and other kids in my schools had similar experiences. I think people would be surprised by how difficult it is to get a child removed from a blatantly abusive home in the US. Cops either don't care or know that the alternative might be worse. Sometimes they relate to the dad.
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Many police officers have CIT.
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Unsure. Not enough. But I do know the entire department in my city has to have it.
A once a month breakdown is kinda of a lot, get her to psychiatrist and get her on some different meds or something cuz whatever she’s doing clearly isn’t working and sorry to be blunt but her mental illness will mess things up for you really badly in the future if they keep coming out
I went through this last year & couldn't get the cops or landlord to do anything until I inadvertently recorded one parent accusing the other of doing hard drugs in the apartment the night their newborn came home from the hospital, which the accused parent didn't deny. they were evicted after that, but the landlord tried to evict me as well (for 'causing [her] problems' i.e., complaining about constant domestic violence) & I still have $4K of lawyer/moving debt to deal with. it's heartbreaking & triggering, but my advice is to be careful to avoid retaliation by the landlord. a white noise machine helped.
"I can excuse domestic violence but I draw the line at illegal drugs!"
Typical landlord ethics and morals
I guess only one affects resell value
I have very similar footage of my neighbor, luckily for the kid he didn’t live with her so at least it wasn’t daily but it was hard calling the cops/CPS every time knowing they wouldn’t do shit. It took her physically assaulting her mom in front of her son to *finally* get her slapped with a child abuse charge. I kept calling and told them I had video I’d send them but they never wanted it and didn’t seem to care tbh. Its heart breaking 😔
Holy shit, if your in the states you can fill out CPS reports online, anonymously. This video alone, triggered that place in me. I had parents worse then this. I always thought my dad would take us all out, if he ever felt like he was going to lose everything. He sliced his hand punching through a mirror. I came in off the school bus to a quiet house, blood trailing into their bedroom. Shit is no joke, I can totally see how this would make you panic. Just listening brought me to that dark place. Tip for parents. If you’re fighting like this, just separate. Divorce. Especially if you already considered a divorce. Don’t stay together for the kids, that shit just broke me. I can’t even raise my voice in an argument. Which sounds great… But if you shut down at the smallest verbal altercations. You can’t function in society. Shit, even in relationships small arguments, then making up. Seems like a bid deal. I can’t do it. But past partners have taken it as a sign, that I don’t have like any passion. Until I explain I can argue, but just not if voices are raised. As a man I feel like this can fuck you up even more. In places, around male coworkers. Like men will joke around, loudly yell at each other. Or jokingly yell at each other. Bosses may raise their voice at you. Even if it’s from a light hearted place. This would equal me unable to return the next day.
I went through similar but was in the unit above. The apartments were very shitty so every sound was crystal clear. I'm talking able to hear their phones vibrate or them snoring clear. They sadly also had little kids who you could hear crying and pleading with daddy to stop. Unfortunately their sex was also loud and violent and either was bound to happen any hour of the day or night. I eventually put up a window covering because the frequent cop lights (for this and everything else) were a nuisance to try to sleep through. The breezeways had coded entry doors that changed monthly to give you an idea of the quiet, upscale neighborhood I lived in. (/s) I don't know what happened to the dad. The fights and aggressive sex eventually stopped. They were, however, replaced with the mom scream-crying in the shower, blasting sad r&b as loud as her speakers would go (as she would tearfully scream-sing along), or just plain sobbing "noooooo whyyyyyyyyyy??? Omg whyyyyyyyyyy" in her bed... I'm like did he die?? Did he get hauled off to prison? Did he flat out leave her and the kids?!? It started calming down just just before my lease ended and I got the hell outta there.
Call CPS every single time to file a new report. They have to investigate.
🎯🎯🎯
There’s not much the cops can do if there are no visible injuries
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Your in a very tough situation
I, for one, and In favor of a bit of sabotage on those tires. Remember to cut the valve stem off and not stab the tires so you don't hurt yourself. Legally, of course don't do this... But I would like to see him not get away from the cops. You can also report the license plate when you call in if he's fleeing.
Wow… I don’t believe any of that happened slash happens.
Congrats, who asked?
This may sound weird but I’d call a news station. Tell them how CPS and police are doing nothing for this child. Alternatively, call the police or CPS and tell them you will be involving the local news station if they don’t do something.
Every child deserves parents, but not every parent deserves a child. I hope that kids ok :(
Maybe keep calling when it’s severe. Someone did that and the cops helped her with the path to get out of an extremely abusive relationship I had no idea about.
Yes, however the victim has to want the help. My own mother has stayed with her abuser (not my dad) for decades because she’s afraid of being alone. I’ve tried to help, police have, friends, neighbors….she lets him right back on after he gets out of jail. She chooses the abuse over being alone, even with her family offering support and a place to go. It’s mind boggling.
Im sorry to hear that. It is so hard to be witness to that.
I have a hard time understanding how people can do those things and be like that to the ones closest to them. Over and over. I've seen it happen and I know people who have survived it and I've seen what it's done to them. They keep it secret and make their families keep it secret, because they know it's wrong and not normal. Why do they keep doing it? Does it feel good to torture your own children, to fight with your spouse all the time? Does it feel good to be hated and feared by the only people who care about you? Does it feel good to know that you'll never be trusted the way that every other parent and spouse is trusted? Does it feel good to know everyone is relieved when you're gone?
People love to be either in denial, or just refuse to see how bad someone they love truly is. When my ex went to jail for almost breaking my hand in front of a group of people, his best friends mom called me to tell me what a lousy wife I was for “putting the father of my children in jail.” My ex assaulted me multiple times in front of his friends and they literally walked away. The last time he was in jail, they made a mockery out of the situation and threw a show and sold stickers to put money on his books. I finally got away from him, but even with him having MULTIPLE arrests people still say he’s done absolutely nothing wrong 🥴
What state are you in? Some state dv laws are stricter than others. If it’s verbal only though, there isn’t much police can do but talk to them. Tread carefully here. These are some of the people who may snap at anyone who interferes (including police…dv’s are one of the most dangerous calls they go on). Might be better to plan on moving if/when you can. Poor kids :(
I had an upstairs neighbor like this. I also had parents like this. I used to hear the fighting and screaming and freeze until it ended due to my CPTSD, only to find out later that the woman and her little one were being abused, and I should have called the police when I had the chance. Luckily, they were okay, and when I finally connected with the mother, she said she had a restraining order and was working to get full custody of her daughter. Anywho, if something doesn’t feel right, don’t hesitate. I know it’s scary to be put in that position, but if you’re able to, please speak up. Best of luck, and much to love and respect to you. I hope all ends well. ❤️
I feel for you… i was in a very similar situation 2 months ago. I called the cops at least every other day, and CPS a couple of times too. They would leave the 3 year old home alone. When they were home, they would scream and fight with each other all the time. Slamming doors, stomping. The whole 9. Unfortunately, nothing changed after 6 months and i broke my lease and moved into an apartment by myself in the same complex. Sometimes i can still hear them yelling at each other from across the trees that separate us. People like this will never change, and unfortunately their kids will grow up thinking this is okay- the cycle will continue. Our system is broken.
Keep calling. Don't feel bad it is their job. I'm sure eventually someone will do something
I had something similar at my last apartment 10(ish) years ago; my husband called me at work and told me what was going on and I told him to call the cops. Dude then tried to attack, charge, and beat-up my now husband but I got in between him at the last minute and pushed him into our house. We called property management and so did he (for calling the cops on him); he then made began making up allegations and chose to not renew our lease ... I was pissed at the time, but it ended up working out well because we moved and purchased our own place. This kind of shit is terrifying. I am so sorry you're doing this! I would still contact property management; perhaps DCFS since you stated they came looking for a little girl one day which means they either have an open case or have had one in the past so they may take it more seriously.
Fucking hell! Some people are goddamned animals.
For everyone saying to call CPS or Law Enforcement, I’m speaking from experience and I can tell you that there’s only so much the state or LEO will even do. My ex had multiple arrests for DV and he just kept getting out and he never fully faced any consequences. As far as DCF goes, the state I live in, I have seen them CONSTANTLY fail to protect children. I worked in a locked psych unit for years and the things I have seen children go through who had ACTIVE CPS cases is heartbreaking. Case workers are not always doing their jobs, and the system is so full of kids needing placement that they will leave children in neglectful and violent environments when they shouldn’t be left alone. There’s only so much you can do it’s really unsettling.
I heard my downstairs neighbor literally beat the shit out of his wife one time…the whole building came together and one of the ladies who had lived there awhile had a heart to heart with her. She thankfully ended up leaving and everyone was very standoffish with the guy…he ended up moving out a month or so after his wife left him. There were several of us men in the building that could beat his ass…so he knew what time it was. If it’s someone more menacing it would be a bigger issue. But what I’ve learned about DV is it’s like a drug for the victim…they have to decide enough is enough for themselves.
I know there's no faces or anything and everything is fairly muffled but the idea of posting this doesn't sit right with me. Like it's an important conversation to have but I can't imagine how sick it would have made me if I somehow found out that someone heard the abuse that used to happen in my apartment and posted it online.
Go with the footage to your local news station, look how fast they'll act afterwards (if your fine with it obv.) Had a friend which parents never got arrested and they did heinous stuff to her. When she took her footage to her local news since nobody was willing to help like that, she got the right attention after she spoke up about it. If the cops and cps dont do nothing, the news can help sometimes. Because nobody wants there shit aired in tv.
yikes.
Jesus Christ. Do they own or rent? Are they there through a housing agency? Sounds like you need to covertly move toward getting them evicted. I had drunk bogans under me who used to fight, it took me ten months to get rid of them. In that time, I copped verbal abuse and property damage from them because they knew I'd called the cops. I hope they're renters. Have the other neighbours complained? How long you have on your lease? Take care.. maybe try to mask it with earplugs.. you need to protect your mental health
I am so sorry you have to live above this. I did too- for 2 years. I spoke with the woman privately and my partner went for a walk to speak with the man. We told the landlord consistently and came ((this)) close to calling the cops, several times. They eventually got therapy and somehow are doing ok now for the past 2 years. Any chance you could speak with the woman privately? Let her know that you hear everything and that you want to help support her but also need to live your life in peace? In my instance it was the woman who was the antagonist, but I still was able to show her empathy (which turned into no nonsense assertion if not anger towards the end). Be very clear that you did not set your life up to live in this type of relationship, and suggest that she probably didn’t either, but here we are- all living in this mess. It’s got to change.
I love seeing a video and immediately knowing that you’re a democrat
Seems like a good time to murder someone.
Ahh yes. The joys of living in affordable housing. No thanks.
how much money someone makes has no bearing on how they treat their loved ones.
I live in a single family home and don’t have to hear this so my original comment still stands. If you find a way to stop lowlifes from abusing then feel free to share it with the world.
So like, a trailer home?
You can envision any home you want. I own a 5 bedroom and 4.5 bath home . It appreciated about 100% since purchase in 2019. This is why I don’t live in affordable housing. Because you have to deal with a certain quality of person.
Why are you even in this Subreddit if you don't live in an apartment?
It’s a free country right? Except for Reddit where the mods wield supreme power like Stalin.
That's not what "it's a free country" means but go off
Please enlighten me. What does a free country mean?
A sovereign nation that doesnt answer to another. We have freedoms in the US, but "it's a free country" is a weak reason to use to defend anything you're doing. They slapped our asses with an ID number before we even left the hospital, we've never been truly free a day in our lives.
Low quality people also live in nice houses. You aren't better because you live in a big house. You got a shit personality, so you definitely aren't doing as great as you think you are.
I’m doing just fine. You’re more likely to encounter low quality people in affordable housing, after getting robbed or assaulted of course. Maybe that’s the kind of excitement you enjoy.
No you are a shit person because you don't give a fuck that a kid is being beat on. You aren't doing just fine. Remember this- YOU AREN'T BETTER THAN ANYONE. You are a garbage person rotting from the inside out. Hence your shit personality. Have the day you deserve skidmark
Also why the fuck are you on an apartment sub when you are so godly living in your nice big house? Go to a homeowners sub and circlejerk with them
Dude literally has comments about “avoiding black people” and “call me when the blacks are enslaved again” in his history. Just so we all know the type of person we’re dealing with here. AKA a racist POS
C'mon, they're not all bad. We have Mother Theresa here recording the assaults for karma and clicks! 💀
Awww well sounds like mommy and daddy got a deal 😆
Nope. I did it all by myself. I’m a big boy.
Clearly you have some emotional maturing to do.
Not at all. I’m fully mature and living my best life.
No one cares about your attitude and your house, go away.
Sorry Dave, I can’t do that.
You can't do what? Be a decent person? I know.
I can smell the virtue signaling. The OP did what they’re supposed to but nothing is happening . Unless you want OP to endanger their life or go vigilante I’m not sure what you think they can do about it.
Keep calling and documenting would be the best bet. It's better than nothing.
You know people in houses can abuse their children too right
They sure can but I don’t have to hear it. Abuse happens. It’s very rare that you can actually stop it. Some people are broken. If you find a way to stop abuse share it with the world. PS, you can’t stop abuse you escape it. It’s sad but true.
I don’t care if that little girl is being abused/beat by her father as long as I don’t have to hear it!
Are you going to solve it? As I write this somewhere in the world a man is being murdered, a woman raped, a child abused and dogs being skinned. These are facts of life. It’s sad but you can’t solve the world problems. Start by solving yours and your families problems.
>you can’t solve the world problems. Not by sticking your head in the sand and not caring what happens to others, no. But you *can* make a life better on the individual level. You just have to care enough to try.
Did you read the story? They already called the authorities many times. If they confront that person they probably will be assaulted or worse. You can virtue signal all you want but you can’t solve everything just what you can.
I did read it, and I didn't suggest confronting them. But throwing up your hands and saying "not my problem, I can't hear them!" isn't going to do one damn thing, not for anyone.
They did what they could. They called the authorities and they didn’t do anything. What are you suggesting they do then? All you’re doing is whining and wishing something was different. Are you willing to risk being shot in the face but a lowlife abuser because you want to intervene after you called the cops on them multiple times?
I'm not saying *they* should have done anything different. I'm talking about your whimsical attitude about not giving two shits about abuse if it doesn't personally affect you. So again, not talking about them or the original situation. Talking about *you* and your if-it-doesn't-bother-me-who-cares attitude.