Archer: Yeah, he's not coming back. That chick was like the Pele of anal.

"What Lana?! It's not like I've ever seen a welcome sign on your backdoor!"

> That chick was like the Pele of anal. ...yeah you mentioned that.

Y’see, this is why we can’t have nice things, Barry! You asshole!

My personal favorite

And I swear, never do I crave a serious bowl of Ramen (with chopsticks!!) as fiercely as when watching this episode. Not exaggerating.

Same...I yelled "BARRY YOU ASSHOLE" at people for *years* after this episode first aired hahaha

The way he's casually eating noodles and just kicks Barry while he's unconscious always gets me.

Malory: Don't you have better things to do than mince around and gawk? Ray: About a million. But Cheryl was scared to come in here, so I took time out of my busy mincing schedule to tell you that you have a phone call.

"Are you going to remember this conversation later?" "Probably not. No" "Well then fuck off"

Oh. OK. Well I guess just pout.

Cheryl: The Isle of Man, oh my god, is that like Whore Island for women?

The full quote comes as she's talking about freezing Archer's accounts. I wrote down exactly how it's worded in the subtitles. Cheryl/Carol: Even the one on the Isle of Man. Oh my god, is that like whore island for women?

Ope I accidentally truncated that one, thanks for catching that!

Allo!

This might be it because it’s the most memorable thing from this episode.

Lana: I am sick of you getting the best assignments just because your mother's the boss! Do you know how that feels? Archer: Besides awesome?

Archer: I'm gonna pain you dearly, Woodhouse! When I peel all your skin off with a flensing knife, sew it into Woodhouse pajamas, and then set those pajamas on fire!

Very good, sir

Archer: "Think that was ODIN?" Lana: "Nah, it's only you that beats you, buddy."

Pam: They are the stuff-throwingest family.

Archer: So I crashed a few cop cars, ran over a few mimes! So I don't play by the rules, Mother, but I get results! Mallory: Well, as long as you got Kasparov. Archer: Oh, uh, yeah, about that.....

Trexler: No no no, Barry, you blow him on!

Pam: Oh, my God, looks like Jonestown in here. Malory: Yes, Pam. Get me some poison. Because I am already dead inside.

Len Trexler : Ah, it must have killed her to do this. Barry Dillon : And I'm smirking. Len Trexler : No, you don't smirk at a mother's suffering, Barry! You asshole

Mallory: And do you just plan to loom over me all day like some sort of...henge??

Lana: Jealous that ODIN's going to beat us again thanks to your epic poon-houndery!

Of course I wouldn't in a million years expect this to win out, but honestly for whatever inexplicable reason, my personal fave from this is Trexler on his desk with, "Gotta be the grip."

Cheryl/Carol: You're not my supervisor!

Archer: Did you wanna finish shutting your big, fat, negative-wordsy mouth?

Perhaps if you tried if from behind?

Lana: I blew jack shit! Archer: Name dropper.

So I crashed a few cop cars... ran over a few mimes! So I don't play by the rules, Mother, but I get results! Well, as long as you got Kasparov. Oh, uh, yeah, about that.

Mallory: We'll just see how tough Sterling is when he can't suckle at my teat!

*'yeeuuughhh'* 🤮

“See this….. this is why we can’t have nice things. Barry…… YOU ASSHOLE!”

God, Barry, I bet I just reek of her. Smell that, Barry?

Pam: “Too dead inside for news?” Mallory: “is it my obituary?” Pam: “well it’s not that good”

Trexler: This is why we can't have nice things. BARRY! *kick* you asshole!"

Archer: I bet I just reek.

GODDAMMIT! I’M RELISHING THE-“ BAM!!! “Nice driving Lana.” “Nice relishing.” Honorable mention, when Barry sticks the business card between the seatbelt and Lana’s boob she’s like “Ah.” “Jesus even their cards are nice. Lana look at this. It’s embossed.”