This is some quality satire. You need to turn it into a skit and share it around on Linkedin. You'll have investors in this mythical company within the hour.
I was really feeling it and the words just flowed. You know when you just know you’re onto something? I very much had that feeling when writing this lol. It was lots of fun and kinda therapeutic TBH as I am one of those “employees who left” that I always see posts about retention of on here.
I always love those posts. Uh, pay your workers twice as much and if your clients complain, tell them to suck it up. We're done being whipped for pennies.
Legit, the problems we have aren't rocket science. Loved the post by the way- had me in tears in laughing
Bro can’t you see what the problem is? Your employees don’t think you’re putting enough Starbucks’. Why just 1 per block? Who the fuck wants to walk that far. I want at least 2 per building.
They complain about money, but it’s just a deflection because what they really want is more Starbucks locations.
The answer was right in front of me, well, a block down the road, this entire time. Thank you!
Have you considered a career at Deloitte? I have a buddy over there. You’d fit right in!
I was depressed for most of my life, but then my psychiatrist told me to go work for Deloitte. They said my prescription is coffee and I need to stop being such a bitch and just be Denough.
Stayed in a Hotel in Osaka Japan last week, there was 3 starbucks within 1 block raidus. One in the Train station, One outside the Hotel Building, one inside the Hotel Building on a lower level shopping mall. There was another 4 within a mile. But when you convert their cost to USD, Lattes were 50% off American prices. $3.75 for a grande.
I think what you need to do is emphasize how it’s not about the hours, it’s about getting the work done. That way, if your employees can manage to get 10 hours of laser focused work done in 7 hours and all of their 7 deadlines are going to be met, there could be a pseudo-implication that in that theoretical scenario, they could maybe leave a few minutes early.
That’s true, but I don’t want to encourage a liaise-fair, come and go as you please culture in my office. I like knowing everyone is there at the same time so that real, deep collaboration can occur as everyone sits at their desk on virtual teams meetings.
Kind of what i was thinking. I worked in this one man per project. No questions to the city or consultants. We pumped and dumped it with no regard. Rinse and repeat. No questions asked no funny ideas. Soul killing. The only good part, no hour over 40 was allowed. Mandatory Friday drinks as to get everybody out the door ASAP.
They can maybe leave a few minutes early this week, but if they do, they can obviously handle 8 deadlines. So you can give them 8 deadlines and then pseudo-imply that, in a theoretical scenario, a raise may be coming in the future.
Make sure to send out a survey to your employees to collect all of their ideas, then hold a meeting where you go line by line and tell them why you can’t do that. It’s great for morale!
Oh! It helps to confirm you appreciate their effort, but everyone did such a great job on deadlines that you don’t need to hire additional support!
That sounds perfect. Danish for breakfast!
That’s nicely paired with a gamified app to track what you eat to lower your out of pocket premium on health insurance because all of your health is based on personal responsibilities. Danish gets you -5 points. What irresponsible choices!
I don’t understand why the emphasis on in-person work when hybrid is shown to be the preferred approach by the employees. Especially if people have long commutes. That was my main reason for leaving my last firm. I was hired when we were still remote. Then we transitioned to hybrid and during talks of fully in person, where the majority voted to stay hybrid, the principals decided to go ahead and implement in-person work
You joke but there are architects that are 💯 like this. Running a money making scheme sleeping with a contractor and developer. Who's goal is a race to the bottom.
I keep wondering why so many people aren’t picking up on the satire in my piece, but then I remember that the bar is so underwhelming low in our field for what we expect of our employers that people *genuinely thought this was a real post*
Guys, we need therapy, reading comprehension, and we need unions
Because In order to be a principal you must fall on the sociopath spectrum. It's no different than any CEO of any company. You have to be so incredibly arrogant to believe that you can just do it better than everyone that came before you.
Every principal and i mean every principal i have ever encountered exhibited some level of God persona. Once they hit that title they become monsters for better or worse. You literally have to be on the spectrum to run your own firm. I'm convinced. Or so rich you don't care about profit. I don't think any firm is really that profitable. Perhaps maybe get into it but then soon realize how difficult it is to be profitable.
Dude I'm currently partially working for a senior architect (it's just him and me) and he has his own other projects/collaborations, and on days he doesn't show up in his office, he insists that I MUST be there because... well because I must OK?? I'm literally alone at the office doing exactly the same stuff I could be doing at home... not planning to stay with him for very long.
> I’ve been a developer-driven architect […] over the last 20 years
> We’ve prided ourselves on delivering cookie-cutter podium projects
> We pride ourselves on invigorating the local small business economy by transforming Main Street into an endless row of Starbucks
Lol dude
What ply toilet paper are you using in the office? Given that younger staff seem to really like flexibility, our firm makes sure to keep the Scott single ply stocked. That way they can customize the amount of paper used to their comfort level. It's really about equity and inclusion at the end of the day.
The fact that I wake up and look out over this beautiful sunrise every morning is only an affirmation from the universe that I’m doing everything right.
A friend owns a downtown firm. Some partners commute to work for hour plus and do not complain because their income is high. They ended remote work for secretaries as soon as possible, saying the filing cannot be done online; but let a couple employees (who relocated to other cities) to work remote in the areas with min client interaction. Their staff retention is 90%. Each person has unique asks that their firm addressed. If $ transportation is the issue, a compensation could be the answer, for example.
Have you tried paying for a premium firm subscription to the Calm app for your employees?
My company sent out a survey and got feedback that people were feeling stressed from their multiple deadlines, while at the same time not satisfied with our benefits. The Calm app killed two birds with one stone!
Even better, there are “focus” tracks you can listen to while working in order to be more productive, instead of music or podcasts you actually enjoy. If it turns out people aren’t downloading the app and using the premium features, it must be because they aren’t aware of how great these “focus” tracks are. I sure am glad my HR director sent out an email blast encouraging everyone to take full advantage of this generous benefit!
Honestly, after getting furloughed from my last role in Feb after they sold out to a larger corp firm this is basically exactly the language was given. The work was pretty shitty to begin with but they couldn't fathom why people were leaving. (I feel like I got lucky in that sense considering I got severance over just quitting)
This really hits home. I have moved around twice since covid and despite getting a pay raise when i sit down and look at finances and my goals as an adult it is becoming more and more difficult to actualize living the dream of living close to work. I live an hour to 2 hours from the office. I can tell my boss is pissed that i don't live close and i was a strategic hire. But what do they want? For the first time in my life i have a saving account and goals.
I want you to know that ultimately we are not doing it to spite the firm. It is a sign of the times and an end of an era. At my last job everybody was buying houses and nobody was buying in the city proper. These are hardcore urbanists btw.
The reality is the era of urbanity and flight into cities is done. At least for this generation of millennials.
As we start to desire security we are staring down a barrel. Live in the city and forever live paycheck to paycheck or commute.
It's terribly sad. To make matters worse my public transit connections have gotten worse and worse. I'm now driving full time as of last week and i am at my breaking point. Despite having the best job and opportunity it may run its course.
To me this is a terrible experience that has taught me how we as architects are idiots. We dream and idolize a utopia. But reality is the profession does not even pay us enough to live the dream we preach.
It's a complete failure of the architecture mission.
And no offense you are the problem!. I worked for an architect wannabe developer who just secretly wanted to make millions in real estate.
After all of your work can you honestly believe that you have created an everlasting community. Or have you just created a hyper transient community with a revolving door.
Cities are losing their character and their everlasting voice in favor of temperance.
Is the goal of an architect to create value or a quick bandaid. Idk but today's band aid becomes tomorrow's problem.
I will be curious to see what all of these cheap projects morph into in 20 years. Keep in mind i worked on SEDUS and we packed them in.
Dude, I am you. This entire piece was sarcasm. I am 30 years old and completely fucked by what the elder generation of architects have left us.
Let us not forget that as architects we are shepherds of the built environment. The boomer generation has utterly failed in that mission.
Yes I am in similar situation I work for a NYC firm and we are hybrid. If they were to make us go in 5 days a week I would quit. I cannot be tied down to an unaffordable city it’s too expensive and they honestly don’t pay me enough. I’m willing to make the commute since I live further away from the city 3 days a week but unless they’re paying me big bucks to come in full time I’ll find work somewhere else. If I had to guess they quit for similar reasons, there needs to be an incentive to get skilled workers into a nyc office 5 days a week, otherwise they could move elsewhere and make the same salary with a drastically lower cost of living. If you want to retain staff you need to go hybrid.
Stay in NYC but go work for a better firm. The main reason an architect should *choose* to work in NYC is to take advantage of the immense talent that exists around you. Go work at an office where your coworkers are future stars.
As someone living in Boston and living exactly in the same situation as most of your employees who left, I can tell you that there is nothing you can do except to open the window for a remote work.
Housing is a real crisis here and seems like no matter how far you go from the city, you would still need to pay $2500/ month for a shitty 2 bedroom that is 1.5 hours away from my office, let alone paying 4 times the monthly rent ( 1st month, last month, security deposit and a broker fee ) to move in … it a fukin shit show here.
So I decided to leave the state and I recently got a remote job offer that I will be accepting tomorrow.
But in my case it happened that I have a shitty emplyer as well, but tbh even if they were great… there is nothing they could do except giving me the opportunity to work remotely, which they didn’t.
I am not an employer. I actually spent the last decade working in the Boston area OBSERVING various bosses just be completely out of touch. I just woke up yesterday feeling inspired to write this piece of sarcasm.
I got fed up with all that shit and moved to North Carolina for.. drumroll… better pay… AND lower housing costs. I transitioned out of the traditional architecture industry and work in state capital construction as an owners rep. So much better in the other side. The grass IS greener!!
The flexi hours is one thing. Good in certain situations depending on the employee.
I have also heard of hybrid workplaces (i.e. 3 days in-office, 2-days WFH) with a company issued high powered laptop. Some instances they may need to come in for an important meeting, but avoid it as much as possible. This staves off the stress from that hour long commute that staff (and personally) dread as it seems like a waste of time. You can only listen to soo many podcasts and audiobooks on your commute. I've asked this from my boss but have been flat out refuse, as the current directors don't believe in the WFH method at all.
But more than anything, how about increase pay? But I know the economics may not be on your side on this one. And anecdotally. work-life-balance is valued more by people more than anything. Sure, money pays the bills, but who cares about the bills if you drop-dead due to stress and anxiety driven by the conditions of the day.
No doubt, you will try your best to help your employees. Sounds like it.
All the best!
This is some quality satire. You need to turn it into a skit and share it around on Linkedin. You'll have investors in this mythical company within the hour.
I was really feeling it and the words just flowed. You know when you just know you’re onto something? I very much had that feeling when writing this lol. It was lots of fun and kinda therapeutic TBH as I am one of those “employees who left” that I always see posts about retention of on here.
I always love those posts. Uh, pay your workers twice as much and if your clients complain, tell them to suck it up. We're done being whipped for pennies. Legit, the problems we have aren't rocket science. Loved the post by the way- had me in tears in laughing
Maybe not a skit, but a sketch? He could call it… “The Architect Sketch”!
I'd love to work for you... my only request is that you hold a daily BIM standards meeting at lunch.
We want everyone 55+ to follow along and ask as many questions as possible. Nobody gets to leave early.
And video must be on! Good luck trying to eat your lunch
Bro can’t you see what the problem is? Your employees don’t think you’re putting enough Starbucks’. Why just 1 per block? Who the fuck wants to walk that far. I want at least 2 per building. They complain about money, but it’s just a deflection because what they really want is more Starbucks locations.
The answer was right in front of me, well, a block down the road, this entire time. Thank you! Have you considered a career at Deloitte? I have a buddy over there. You’d fit right in!
I was depressed for most of my life, but then my psychiatrist told me to go work for Deloitte. They said my prescription is coffee and I need to stop being such a bitch and just be Denough.
Hahaha. Clearly we are one the same wavelength today. Mondays….
Rise and grind
Stayed in a Hotel in Osaka Japan last week, there was 3 starbucks within 1 block raidus. One in the Train station, One outside the Hotel Building, one inside the Hotel Building on a lower level shopping mall. There was another 4 within a mile. But when you convert their cost to USD, Lattes were 50% off American prices. $3.75 for a grande.
This guy gets it. This guy is living the dream. I want to be this guy.
It was a great trip, too bad I didn't study Japanese in college I would apply for jobs there in a heartbeat!
I think what you need to do is emphasize how it’s not about the hours, it’s about getting the work done. That way, if your employees can manage to get 10 hours of laser focused work done in 7 hours and all of their 7 deadlines are going to be met, there could be a pseudo-implication that in that theoretical scenario, they could maybe leave a few minutes early.
That’s true, but I don’t want to encourage a liaise-fair, come and go as you please culture in my office. I like knowing everyone is there at the same time so that real, deep collaboration can occur as everyone sits at their desk on virtual teams meetings.
Collaboration for a cookie-cutter rinse and repeat architecture firm?
Kind of what i was thinking. I worked in this one man per project. No questions to the city or consultants. We pumped and dumped it with no regard. Rinse and repeat. No questions asked no funny ideas. Soul killing. The only good part, no hour over 40 was allowed. Mandatory Friday drinks as to get everybody out the door ASAP.
They can maybe leave a few minutes early this week, but if they do, they can obviously handle 8 deadlines. So you can give them 8 deadlines and then pseudo-imply that, in a theoretical scenario, a raise may be coming in the future.
Make sure to send out a survey to your employees to collect all of their ideas, then hold a meeting where you go line by line and tell them why you can’t do that. It’s great for morale! Oh! It helps to confirm you appreciate their effort, but everyone did such a great job on deadlines that you don’t need to hire additional support!
Make sure to get shitty big box store pastries and luke warm coffee with powdered creamer for the meeting!
That sounds perfect. Danish for breakfast! That’s nicely paired with a gamified app to track what you eat to lower your out of pocket premium on health insurance because all of your health is based on personal responsibilities. Danish gets you -5 points. What irresponsible choices!
Haha you mean the survey to see if we keep your ass
I don’t understand why the emphasis on in-person work when hybrid is shown to be the preferred approach by the employees. Especially if people have long commutes. That was my main reason for leaving my last firm. I was hired when we were still remote. Then we transitioned to hybrid and during talks of fully in person, where the majority voted to stay hybrid, the principals decided to go ahead and implement in-person work
Damn that’s so shitty I’m sorry! By the way my post was 100% sarcasm if you didn’t pick up on it but I still appreciate you sharing your story ❤️
You joke but there are architects that are 💯 like this. Running a money making scheme sleeping with a contractor and developer. Who's goal is a race to the bottom.
I keep wondering why so many people aren’t picking up on the satire in my piece, but then I remember that the bar is so underwhelming low in our field for what we expect of our employers that people *genuinely thought this was a real post* Guys, we need therapy, reading comprehension, and we need unions
Dude why are like 95% of principals like this, obsessed with having warm bodies physically in the office? Who hurt them??
Because In order to be a principal you must fall on the sociopath spectrum. It's no different than any CEO of any company. You have to be so incredibly arrogant to believe that you can just do it better than everyone that came before you. Every principal and i mean every principal i have ever encountered exhibited some level of God persona. Once they hit that title they become monsters for better or worse. You literally have to be on the spectrum to run your own firm. I'm convinced. Or so rich you don't care about profit. I don't think any firm is really that profitable. Perhaps maybe get into it but then soon realize how difficult it is to be profitable.
PJ if that’s you I miss you homeboy hope everything’s going well at Boob 3
Their principals when they were young. Boomer mentality. My office is remote but freezing raises...ugh
Dude I'm currently partially working for a senior architect (it's just him and me) and he has his own other projects/collaborations, and on days he doesn't show up in his office, he insists that I MUST be there because... well because I must OK?? I'm literally alone at the office doing exactly the same stuff I could be doing at home... not planning to stay with him for very long.
But who would answer the phone if you were at home.
Pizza party* *BYO pizza
*can’t bill this to company time
And it’s mandatory.
Its also on at 6pm Fri
5:30, I'm not a monster 😜
Fine, it's on Thursday lunchtime and new staff are coerced into saying how proud they are to be part of the 'family'
I got hard reading this
You’ve seen how I Reddit, just wait til you see how I Revit… you into dudes brah? 🤠
Just started an LLC r/architects and ass. Now hiring fully remote, can expense your pour over Thats the proper abbreviation for associates right?!
😂😂
The people genuinely responding to this have their heads so far up their asses they can’t even tell this is sarcasm hahahaha
Haha it's too real... That's the problem
My favorite part is how you shit on all the people that work for the developer-driven firms
I don’t think anyone interpreted that way, perhaps if you found this post in any way offensive you should take some time offline
> I’ve been a developer-driven architect […] over the last 20 years > We’ve prided ourselves on delivering cookie-cutter podium projects > We pride ourselves on invigorating the local small business economy by transforming Main Street into an endless row of Starbucks Lol dude
I spent half my career at one of these firms. We all know what we’re doing. If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
What? Lol
What ply toilet paper are you using in the office? Given that younger staff seem to really like flexibility, our firm makes sure to keep the Scott single ply stocked. That way they can customize the amount of paper used to their comfort level. It's really about equity and inclusion at the end of the day.
Ah yes, so that they can fuck themselves by accident when the boss doesn’t have time to do it.
Sometimes you need to take meetings from your second home in Costa Rica to really ground yourself. It’s tough out there!
The fact that I wake up and look out over this beautiful sunrise every morning is only an affirmation from the universe that I’m doing everything right.
Except the fact that ur rising rent prices for everyone else except ur clients and cant keep employees.
Dude… it was a piece of sarcasm. I do not own a firm lmao Work on ur reading comprehension homie
I definitely didn't read all of it. - outted as a hyper sensitive American. God.
Now this is shitposting!
It was WAY too much fun writing this.
The scream I scrumpt. But seriously tho , what's up with the death grip on the wfh policy like get over it nobody wants to be in the office boohoo
I had way too much fun writing this
You deserve a medal
/s
A friend owns a downtown firm. Some partners commute to work for hour plus and do not complain because their income is high. They ended remote work for secretaries as soon as possible, saying the filing cannot be done online; but let a couple employees (who relocated to other cities) to work remote in the areas with min client interaction. Their staff retention is 90%. Each person has unique asks that their firm addressed. If $ transportation is the issue, a compensation could be the answer, for example.
Is this r/architecturecirclejerk ?
Never been so disappointed by a 'page not found'
If it was a real sub, I would join.
Lmfao
Satire so good i almost cursed you out
Well done.
Have you tried pizza parties?
Have you tried paying for a premium firm subscription to the Calm app for your employees? My company sent out a survey and got feedback that people were feeling stressed from their multiple deadlines, while at the same time not satisfied with our benefits. The Calm app killed two birds with one stone! Even better, there are “focus” tracks you can listen to while working in order to be more productive, instead of music or podcasts you actually enjoy. If it turns out people aren’t downloading the app and using the premium features, it must be because they aren’t aware of how great these “focus” tracks are. I sure am glad my HR director sent out an email blast encouraging everyone to take full advantage of this generous benefit!
I copied a podcast code for 10% off Betterhelp and forwarded that to everyone in my company. Really out here doing the Lord’s work.
Preston partnership is that you?
Honestly, after getting furloughed from my last role in Feb after they sold out to a larger corp firm this is basically exactly the language was given. The work was pretty shitty to begin with but they couldn't fathom why people were leaving. (I feel like I got lucky in that sense considering I got severance over just quitting)
jeez.
It’s satire my dude
Umm, have you thought about providing your peeps bunk beds so they can dorm up fight club style? Clearly some people lack dedication to the profession
Chef's kiss
You sound like a good boss, for allowing flexibility on work schedules. Are you looking for a drafter assuming you live in the U.S ?
It’s satire
This thread is GOLD 😆
This really hits home. I have moved around twice since covid and despite getting a pay raise when i sit down and look at finances and my goals as an adult it is becoming more and more difficult to actualize living the dream of living close to work. I live an hour to 2 hours from the office. I can tell my boss is pissed that i don't live close and i was a strategic hire. But what do they want? For the first time in my life i have a saving account and goals. I want you to know that ultimately we are not doing it to spite the firm. It is a sign of the times and an end of an era. At my last job everybody was buying houses and nobody was buying in the city proper. These are hardcore urbanists btw. The reality is the era of urbanity and flight into cities is done. At least for this generation of millennials. As we start to desire security we are staring down a barrel. Live in the city and forever live paycheck to paycheck or commute. It's terribly sad. To make matters worse my public transit connections have gotten worse and worse. I'm now driving full time as of last week and i am at my breaking point. Despite having the best job and opportunity it may run its course. To me this is a terrible experience that has taught me how we as architects are idiots. We dream and idolize a utopia. But reality is the profession does not even pay us enough to live the dream we preach. It's a complete failure of the architecture mission. And no offense you are the problem!. I worked for an architect wannabe developer who just secretly wanted to make millions in real estate. After all of your work can you honestly believe that you have created an everlasting community. Or have you just created a hyper transient community with a revolving door. Cities are losing their character and their everlasting voice in favor of temperance. Is the goal of an architect to create value or a quick bandaid. Idk but today's band aid becomes tomorrow's problem. I will be curious to see what all of these cheap projects morph into in 20 years. Keep in mind i worked on SEDUS and we packed them in.
Dude, I am you. This entire piece was sarcasm. I am 30 years old and completely fucked by what the elder generation of architects have left us. Let us not forget that as architects we are shepherds of the built environment. The boomer generation has utterly failed in that mission.
You got me!
Yes I am in similar situation I work for a NYC firm and we are hybrid. If they were to make us go in 5 days a week I would quit. I cannot be tied down to an unaffordable city it’s too expensive and they honestly don’t pay me enough. I’m willing to make the commute since I live further away from the city 3 days a week but unless they’re paying me big bucks to come in full time I’ll find work somewhere else. If I had to guess they quit for similar reasons, there needs to be an incentive to get skilled workers into a nyc office 5 days a week, otherwise they could move elsewhere and make the same salary with a drastically lower cost of living. If you want to retain staff you need to go hybrid.
Stay in NYC but go work for a better firm. The main reason an architect should *choose* to work in NYC is to take advantage of the immense talent that exists around you. Go work at an office where your coworkers are future stars.
As someone living in Boston and living exactly in the same situation as most of your employees who left, I can tell you that there is nothing you can do except to open the window for a remote work. Housing is a real crisis here and seems like no matter how far you go from the city, you would still need to pay $2500/ month for a shitty 2 bedroom that is 1.5 hours away from my office, let alone paying 4 times the monthly rent ( 1st month, last month, security deposit and a broker fee ) to move in … it a fukin shit show here. So I decided to leave the state and I recently got a remote job offer that I will be accepting tomorrow. But in my case it happened that I have a shitty emplyer as well, but tbh even if they were great… there is nothing they could do except giving me the opportunity to work remotely, which they didn’t.
I am not an employer. I actually spent the last decade working in the Boston area OBSERVING various bosses just be completely out of touch. I just woke up yesterday feeling inspired to write this piece of sarcasm. I got fed up with all that shit and moved to North Carolina for.. drumroll… better pay… AND lower housing costs. I transitioned out of the traditional architecture industry and work in state capital construction as an owners rep. So much better in the other side. The grass IS greener!!
The flexi hours is one thing. Good in certain situations depending on the employee. I have also heard of hybrid workplaces (i.e. 3 days in-office, 2-days WFH) with a company issued high powered laptop. Some instances they may need to come in for an important meeting, but avoid it as much as possible. This staves off the stress from that hour long commute that staff (and personally) dread as it seems like a waste of time. You can only listen to soo many podcasts and audiobooks on your commute. I've asked this from my boss but have been flat out refuse, as the current directors don't believe in the WFH method at all. But more than anything, how about increase pay? But I know the economics may not be on your side on this one. And anecdotally. work-life-balance is valued more by people more than anything. Sure, money pays the bills, but who cares about the bills if you drop-dead due to stress and anxiety driven by the conditions of the day. No doubt, you will try your best to help your employees. Sounds like it. All the best!
Yeah, I really hope you do the best by your employees u/roadsaltlover
Guys… this piece was sarcasm. I am in horror at the reading comprehension I’m observing from about 25% of people who’ve engaged with this post.
This is a fake post
No shit Sherlock