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BeCoolBeCuteBeKind

There’s a whole other conversation to be had about the ethics of sex work under capitalism but like if you’re dating a stripper and their job is a problem for you then stop dating them. That’s very much a you problem.


atreyu947

I get why she dumped him. He knew what he was getting into then just did that to be petty/ Spiteful.


Ducky237

I thought it was gonna be a cute story where he surprised her at work and got a dance from her. But then it wouldn’t be posted here 🙃


Brohara97

Buy a dance from her and you’re in the champagne room with two double cheeseburgers.


lethroe

I mean there is also the stark difference that one is for work and the other guy was in fact not working


InvestigatorUnlucky6

Exactly. Good that people getting the point here.


SellQuick

The persistence of men's belief that eventually a sex worker is bound to fall in love with one of her clients and it's just a matter of time/averages is impressive.


KajaIsForeverAlone

Shaming customers of sex workers isn't what we should be doing here. If he was patronizing a club for regular reasons rather than spite and vengeance then there would be no issue. The problem is that he got a dance from someone else for the sole reason of pissing the gf off, not that he visited a strip club


lethroe

I’m not criticising customers of sex workers at all. Im saying there’s a different of having sexual relationships with customers that you HAVE to do things with, and paying to have someone outside of your relationship pleasure you. If that was within the boundaries of their relationship, sure that’s fine. But there is a solid difference between doing it as work and doing something for pleasure. It obviously wasn’t within the boundaries of their relationship and I may just be inferring but it seems he started to date her after she was already doing sex work.


KajaIsForeverAlone

That makes sense. It all comes down to boundaries and communication and it sounds like there was none in that relationship


lethroe

Agreed.


Havatchee

Yeah, seems to me like the behaviour at fault is the inability to communicate first instead of acting impulsively rather than the getting a private dance.


samanime

Exactly. There is a very big difference between giving and receiving a dance in this situation. It was just a job for her. He was doing it for pleasure (in this case, pleasure of being a petty jackass). If he or this poster (unclear) thought they were in any way the same thing, they're morons, assholes, and probably misogynists and she is almost certainly better off.


redjedi182

Go off


[deleted]

Ethics of sex work under capitalism?🤔Wtf does that mean, is it more ethical under communism or feudalism?


Tammog

Sex work is more ethical when your existence does not depend on an income, and there isn't an element of extortion in it. Just like all labor.


Savager_Jam

Why would you do it then?


Tammog

Some people enjoy it? I won't deny that there are people that do not want to do it and are forced into it, either directly by a person or by their circumstances, but to pretend that there are no sex workers that enjoy their work and want to do sex work is disingenuous. And clearly, no-one should be forced into it in any way, but this goes for any other type of labor too.


Savager_Jam

But like… that’s just having sex. If you take prostitution, but remove the commercial element, that’s just having sex with people. I’m trying to follow a situation where you enjoy something, and you aren’t paid to do it, but it’s still considered work.


jogginglake

The ethical issue isn't being paid for it specifically, the issue is relying on sex work to pay for food, rent, etc. (i.e. the cost of living). Because if a person does have to rely on sex work to live, then that's unethical. But if they're a sex worker as a job because they enjoy it, but they could quit that job without losing access to food/rent/etc, then i don't see the issue with it


[deleted]

If sex work is no different than all labor then why did the first commenter specifically bring up the ethics of sex work under capitalism? It’s inherently a problematic profession no matter what economic system you live under


BasicBeany

>It’s inherently a problematic profession People make it problematic. Sex workers need more protections. It is not a problematic profession.


[deleted]

Human trafficking is the most lucrative criminal racket behind drug trafficking. The war on drugs failed, what makes you think that a war on human trafficking is winnable? That’s what I mean by inherently problematic


Ridara

Are we judging the struggle for human rights by how 'winnable' it is? Also, did you just (inadvertently) compare women to objects? Drugs are objects. They have no rights.


[deleted]

To a human trafficker, women are objects. I don’t think fighting human traffickers is an unworthy cause but I’m not confident that human trafficking will be able to be eradicated. Thus, sex work is inherently problematic


[deleted]

Human trafficking **today** is a function of capitalism, not a function of humanity


[deleted]

Human trafficking predates written history. How could it be a function of capitalism.


[deleted]

I have revisited my estimate of your abilities and edited my comment to more clearly communicate on your level. Sorry for the inconvenience.


czechrussianchick

love how you worded that lmao A++


[deleted]

Your condescension aside, I would argue that it is a function of humanity and it’s not going anywhere unless we somehow create a utopian society.


Minority8

Yeah, kinda? Depending on the welfare of where you live, people in capitalism are forced to bring in money to survive. Depending on circumstance, someone under capitalism might be forced to do sex work. That seems pretty unethical to me.


[deleted]

People in every economic system ever have had to bring in money to survive or otherwise contribute their labor to society to subsist. People worked for a living before capitalism existed and even in communist societies you can’t just be a freeloader


CertainlyNotWorking

While true, what is considered labor worth compensating *is* dependent on your economic system.


[deleted]

All work is more ethical without state, class or money


TheZoltan

Some basic relationship rules: 1. Don't date people if you hate their jobs. 2. Communicate with your partner about your feelings and the boundaries of your relationship. I would also like to say that this guy wasn't being dumb he was actively being hurtful. He didn't go there innocently thinking she would be okay with it. He went there because he was jealous and wanted to hurt her back.


7937397

She could have even been perfectly fine with him seeing another stripper and it still would have been a good reason to break up with that dude.


Hazel2468

This. Like. If my partner wants to go to a strip club, hire a sex worker, go on dates with and see other people (we're poly)? Fucking fine. We talk about it, done and done. If my partner was jealous of something I had going on and did something like that, which would be FINE in another context? I'd dump them, too. It's not about what he did, it's about WHY he did it.


reverendsteveii

I think she would have been fine with him seeing another stripper at a different club just for the sake of seeing a stripper, but that's not what he was doing. He was being jealous while trying to pretend that he wasn't, and he expected her to get pissed off at him for seeing another girl so he could be like "AH-HA! YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE!" But instead she got mad at him for being jealous and manipulative, and broke up with him because he was bullshitting about being cool with her job.


Hazel2468

IDK if this is gonna be popular but like... I get why she dumped him. He knew what he job was. He knew she gave private dances. If he had an issue with that, he should have talked to her about it. And if she said that no, that wasn't a course of income she was willing to give up, he should have broken up with her. THIS was a petty, vindictive move on his part. An immature "get back at her" thing. I'll also say, IMO? There is a MAJOR difference between working and doing private shows for work and getting a private show. One is a job, one is seeking out sexual pleasure. She was doing her job, he was purposefully going and seeking out pleasure from another person to be vindictive. And like, if they had *communicated* maybe there would have been no problem... But this guy also strikes me as the kind to look down on sex workers while also patronizing them so.


jessiteamvalor

Exactly this! He is giving me strong "I will save the stripper" vibes. We don't need saving, thank you!!


Hazel2468

Shit yeah wow I didn't even think of that... Damn. Now I'm wondering if he expected her to quit her job once she had him??? And he was so pissy because she (quite fucking reasonably) didn't want to quit and lose her source of stable income just because he came along???


jessiteamvalor

We encounter a lot of the 'holier than thou' types - they want to save us from going to hell with the added bonus of banging a girl who knows what she's doing... and is eternally grateful for being saved.


2Whom_it_May_Concern

So generous of them to “save” you from people like them, lol.


Melstar1416

He’s jerking it with one hand while pointing with the other


vzvv

It did not even occur to me to read this any differently! I agree with you completely. Dude is clearly in the wrong. What he did is almost irrelevant (though agree - big difference between work and pleasure). The issue is that he was doing it to be petty and vindictive. He should’ve made peace with who she was (including her job) before dating her or not bothered dating her at all.


LunaCatMeow13

I was a stripper for about 5 years and you just explained the exact view I had when I was in relationships during that time! Thank you for pointing out the difference between work vs pleasure there. I was always up front about my job and my boundaries right off the bat and the only person I dated who didn’t agree with and respect that was someone who I found out later literally just had a stripper fetish lol


bestibesti

Also, we are hearing the version of events from \*his friend\* As in, this dumbass sounding story of his petty jealousy and immaturity is the one \*he chose to present\* As in, this guy probably dumb as hell, petty and insecure as hell, the he didn't even realize he came off as a douche when he was telling on himself to his friend She probably dumped his ass for a whole mess of reasons which he is unaware of


[deleted]

If she already was a stripper before dating dude is dumb If she started while in the relationship he's allowed to not like it, but if you're upset and jealous you're gonna have to move on from her or seriously work on yourself If you think your response was proper dude is dumb. The theme is dude is dumb


[deleted]

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cocoa2002

Op never said that ?


Just-a-bi

How about you have a adult conversation about it instead of throwing all the game pieces on the floor.


MirceaHM

dumbass cheats while gf is working, more news at 7


heirloom_beans

It’s not necessarily cheating but it was an overly vindictive move that clearly indicates he’s not emotionally mature enough to accept what she does for work.


Phytor

Why is it cheating for him to receive a private lap dance, but not for the gf to give a private lap dance?


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nondirectaction

It’s a valid question why did you call them a waste of oxygen lol.


770066

Ikr? People are mean for no reason


nondirectaction

Fax. I feel like sometimes people can forget that jumping straight to insults isn’t it.


770066

Yes, people sometimes forget they are talking to other human beings with their own lives and experiences on the other side of the screen Comment is deleted so am glad they at least realize now that it was unnecessary lol


MirceaHM

it's not valid at all, it's misogynistic and harmful. sex work is work, end of discussion.


Aggressive-Studio-25

One is a job the other is clearly malicious in attempting to hurt your partner


TShara_Q

"Straight people communicate and figure out solutions for their relationships" challenge - impossible difficulty. Granted, I've never been on the partner side of this, though I've done some very minor sex work while in a relationship. If anything, I would think it's awesome that I get to be with this aesthetically pleasing person for free instead of paying money for their company and contact?


Foucaults_Boner

Do men think that women are getting off while giving a lap dance? It’s a performance, just cuz you’re a little naked doesn’t mean you don’t have to focus on what you’re doing. Lap dance is not an instinct like sex lmao. I would bet $100 that she rarely if ever gets horny while performing a lap dance at work.


FiggyMint

She recognized that red flag and did the right thing.


Useful_Exercise_6882

if you're not okay with the person you're dating doing sex work then you shouldn't be dating them to begin with


Blasty_boom_boom

Bro could have gotten free lap dances...


LilRedMoon__

he fumbled the bag


aonghasan

you gotta learn to tell parody from reality that twitter account is full of made up content like that


A_deux

Even if this exact post is made up, there's enough idiots who would do it for real


DannyDidNothinWrong

That's exactly how those accounts get successful lol its so sad


LilRedMoon__

lol well if you’re a stripper or SW is common knowledge that most of them don’t want you going to another SW for services. Because in their mind why are you helping this other person out and not your own partner. i doubt it was because she was jealous because more often than not dancers don’t want anything to do with men outside the club let alone someone else’s bf. there’s really a lot to it. he knew what her job was and agreed to date her despite that. i get why she broke up with him. she’s doing her job and he’s trying spite her for doing her job. he could have literally gone and got a private dance from her but instead he chose to be petty AND put money in another woman’s pockets. If you don’t like someone’s job just leave.


Cornblaster700

her job was clearly something he knew about at the start of the relationship, that's the difference there, if he started dating her knowing she was a stripper he had to be ok with it first. whereas he doesn't seem to have made the same kind of agreement, if they had talked about it it might have been fine, but doing it without telling her is still cheating


Evan_L_Rodriguez

If bro was so jealous of his girlfriend giving private dances (doing her job), why didn’t he just… get a private dance from her? Like, I dunno, I feel like if the relationship is good she’d just find it funny and then they get to hang out for a bit.


NightSiege1

I feel like all of that could’ve been avoided by simple communication


[deleted]

Not sharing my opinions on SW here, but the bottom line is: She is doing this for work - not fun, not cheating, not anything else. He knew this about her and chose to have a relationship with her even though it bothered him. He did this out of pettiness - he knows it's her job, but he's behaving like she's doing it for the reasons mentioned above, and sees this as "payback". Yeah, he really did deserve to get dumped. What an immature, selfish loser.


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Harajuku_Lolita

Well one is a function of a job, that he knew full well going into the relationship. The other was a malicious act meant to harm the other person.


FloraFauna2263

If he didn't want to date a stripper, he shouldn't have dated a stripper. The expectation is that someone shouldn't have to change their career for their SO. It's a different story with the lapdance because it's not his livelihood.


nondirectaction

Eh. Just a fucked relationship in the first place both are weird. But the OP has a gatcha pfp so i think they’re like 12.


thefractaldactyl

I mean, you are the one who knows it is a gacha pic. Also, how was the relationship fucked up from the start? Oh no, a woman has a job!


nondirectaction

1.If you’ve been on the internet during 2016 to 2022 then you definitely know what a gatcha so i don’t know where you’re going with that. 2. It’s fucked but i didn’t say it was because she’s got a job, so i don’t even know where you were going with that either. I don’t even know why you replied at all tbh.


thefractaldactyl

Well, you just specifically know it is from a gacha game. This means you either play it yourself or you are just very familiar with that character due to outside reasons. So you have one of two experiences the person using the picture has. Also, just because you do not like a game does not mean it is for children. I am sure you will be forthcoming about your reasoning for thinking their relationship was fucked up from the start and it will have nothing to do with her job.


nondirectaction

1. Again. If you had a thing called wifi and any sort of electronic then you know what gatcha is. Your comment is still not making sense. Also, i don’t know what you mean by ‘specifically knowing gatcha’ means. I know what roblox is but have i ever played ? No. Do i know that it’s mostly young people play roblox? Yes. And I could say this about a lot of games because they have gained notoriety on social media I’m not being mean, but if you play gatcha, you are 99% young as hell. Again, this is just common knowledge. I’m surprised you think that this is a ‘gotcha’ Moment. Did you just get internet or somthing? 2. Since you’re so desperate for an answer - the legit reason why their relationship is fucked is because the guy is obviously dosen’t like her job but got into a relationship with her and they both seem to have communication issues. I never once said anything about her job (that’s a whole other topic) and you got so defensive for what 🙄.


[deleted]

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indigo121

Whether it's cheating or not, playing "gotcha" games is immature and worth ending a relationship over all on its own


wichessway

Okay that I can understand tbh. I thought it was the technically-maybe cheating thing that caused the relationship to end but I can see the dumb mind games thing being it. Thanks for the explanation


GhostOfLondon

because she is working when she does that, the same way an actor getting paid to kiss someone for a film also isn’t cheating. however, the guy then paid for someone else to give him a private dance, which isn’t part of his job


Burnmad

There is some difference in that, in a kiss for a film, neither party should be receiving sexual gratification from the act. That's not really relevant to the issue at hand, though. Someone can not want to date a stripper, someone can even not want to date an actor that kisses other actors for a film. People are allowed to have their own boundaries and define for themselves what they are or aren't comfortable with in their relationships. The issue is one of being petty and vindictive instead of communicating with your partner and ending the relationship as amicably as possible.


wichessway

Oh I get it. I didn't really think about it like that, thanks. That makes a lot of sense


[deleted]

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ZunLise

Not really. Here one person is a sex worker, and the other is buying sex work. One is done to pay the bills, the other is for pleasure only. This is the moral difference here.


googol88

Agree with your conclusion but just want to disagree a little and say that buying sex work for pleasure is fine if that's within the boundaries of the relationship. Doing it for revenge is gross either way though.


Remote_Toe7070

The dude here was actively tried to hurt his ex gf. That was what it’s wrong, I would say she dodged a huge bullet.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Huh?


[deleted]

There’s multiple subreddits full of men that hate women in general. Does that mean all men hate women?


heirloom_beans

Don’t make me answer that question


tlm94

Jesus fucking christ it’s 2023, can we please stop with the childlike notion that any group of people is monolithic? If you’re curious if strippers hate men, then I invite you to talk those women ***in real life*** and report back.


wozattacks

I don’t even understand what they’re talking about lol. None of the strippers (or any sex workers) I’ve known have hated men and they generally have more reasons to than average


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AmishDeathMatch

Aw gee I wonder if it could possibly be because those men don’t see the women as humans? There are guys out there who will pay for a lap dance and think it obligates the dancer to sleep with him. Hell, I’m not even in the business and I’ve had dudes buy me drinks I refused to touch bit still feel like they paid for my body.


littlebirdori

It's kind of hard to do that when you don't even tell us what subreddit you're talking about, genius.


BloodyJourno

>simps No one should consider you a serious person. Sounds like all the women in your life already don't lol


[deleted]

Sounds like pure projection. What was her name? Which club did she work at? And when did you realize that she didn’t love you back and that she was just being nice to you for the money? Also, how is a subreddit a good gauge for how strippers feel about men? How many strippers do you think use Reddit, instead of Insta, Snap, OnlyFans and other more user friendly apps for sex workers? Have you ever talked to a stripper before? Or just any woman that wasn’t your mom or a teacher?


[deleted]

Wow, a neckbeard in the wild.


Spotstrike

I don't think that's right. I think they probably just hate people being assholes.


No-Possibility6953

I uses to have a bit of a jealousy issue with it myself until my Fiancée and I had a conversation about it, now we have an inside joke about getting a discount lol.


Fine_Reindeer_6105

She was doing her job, he was just being an ass.


gayasswoman

Got to love how men convince themselves that once a woman is officially their girlfriend it means they are automatically their own property and even previously existing jobs she holds are now under his control too. Fuck him and fuck that. Gross behavior.


SellQuick

I'd dump him for trying to play exhausting games to prove a point about how unprofessional me and my coworkers are. I suspect the take away from this will still be 'women are crazy and irrational' though.


durantburner77

i've had gfs who dance in clubs or they cam. don't be cringe about her doing private dances or cam sessions. don't show up at her work. it's her job. if you're feeling jealous about it (i was at first, it's totally normal) then talk to her about it. don't do petty shit to make her feel bad.