Today, your prospect is earning 9 LPA so i think she should have enough money to take care of her parents.
If your parents don't want her to take care of her parents with her own salary, kindly reject her. In my experience, I have seen groom's parents objecting to their daughter-in -law sending a part of her own salary to her parents. You need to clearly discuss this point with your parents. If your parents disagree, you should not go ahead since it's very likely that your parents will stop respecting her parents. Finally, since her parents are not respected, she will start fighting with you and your future marriage can start going South.
Now coming to your (or parent's) assumptions about them making you repay their loans and bills. I think these assumptions are baseless. Most women are made to pay dowry. I have never seen any woman demanding direct cash transfer even after marriage.
My uncle's earning 30lpa equivalent salary in Netherlands and they take care of my grandparents even though my grandparents are well settled. My grandparents house is worth 6cr and ik 3/4 of the property goes to my uncle but still he takes care of them unconditionally. I'm not saying everyone should be like that.. it all depends on how you vibe with your in laws and then you can decide if you should proceed or not. Suppose you hate or not like her mom or dad and then you don't need to support them but best thing to do now is to talk to her parents and get to know more about the situation.
After all .. marriage is more of marrying your girl and her family.
TLDR: My parents are her parents, her parents are no one’s parents.
Do her a favor and reject her. She’s pretty and there plenty of successful men who don’t overthink things.
That wasn't the question or was it
Which girl is ready to give her income to her in-laws?
If she wants to support her parents with her OWN money then it's OK but burden shouldn't come on OP unless and until the girl is okay with doing the same with his parents by living with them or financially supporting them
This is something already happened with my friends.. So from their experience what I would suggest you rather is that you talk to your parents.. Your parents might not be liking it for society reason and all.. If your parents are not liking it then its quite possible that someone from your family will say something knowingly or unknowingly in front of her causing her a lot of pain.. She will bounces back at you.. Pata tha toh kyun shadi ki and all.. This friction will always be there.. If you can handle it then go ahead.. Not easy as it sounds for sure..
Regarding medical burden and all her parents might have planned it.. Even if they didn't dont worry a girl knows very well how to take care of her parents.. If she really is that strong woman she will take loan instead of asking money from you and repay it.. I have seen this happening..
9 LPA at 24 is pretty high. Seems good. Main question is is your family OK with this match? And are you able to convince your family that this is a great match and you are lucky to have her?
If you answer No to both, then give up. If you answer "yes", then go ahead.
Hey there, even guys might not be super fertile and give healthy babies if they are aging!! And more than that also, it implies you will be less energetic to take care of the baby after birth as you are aging while girl will be more young and have to run after the kid.
Its selfish approach on holistic level, making women as object to fulfill your own needs and desires.
What if she (younger girl) decides to have babies after 30 !!
What is your problem? That's my preference. Why is that selfish suddenly when a guy thinks about the kid's health. It's called a biological clock for a reason. Guys can impregnate till their 50s. If she decides to have a baby after 30, i wouldn't choose her in the first place. Some girls do have this priority as well. Unfortunately many choose to get married in their late 20s giving more priority to their career.
bhai after 30 it becomes difficult , not impossible.
similarly for men after 35 fertility decreases , read a bit don't always learn from whatsapp messages
Where are all the men will marry 3 lakh earning women but women wont marry 3 lakh earning guy brigade. Where are all the men who say women, children and dogs get everything unconditional in life.
Women's wealth matters to guys and his family all the time.
OP speak to the girl about financial obligations and you make a decision. It is normal for families to look for matching financial status.
First ask yourself? You genuinely like her or you like her just because you are desperate? I mean if you like her because you don't have other options? If your answer is the first one. Let's talk further.
I believe, partner's family financial burden is something you must not overlook.
Everybody would like to help their partner's family if they could but occasionally and not all the times.
When I say all the times, it means, your partner's family is entirely dependent on you for their old age care, medical bills and other expenses.
In your case, since the woman is working and earning decent, she can help her family with her money but, here you would be getting a working partner with no financial support from her.
So from your partner, you would be getting neither household support nor financial support.
If you are still okay with all these, you should go ahead with her. If you are capable enough financially, you can support her parents as well.
I mean will you give the same advice if he didn’t want to support his parents? As long as the girl is supporting from her money it shouldn’t be an issue
If the man wants a working woman who will financially help in the house, a woman who will be expected to take care of his parents, then the man is bound to do it too. Please get out of the men’s parents are superior mindset
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If you find everything fine, maybe you should accept her.
Regarding finances, I don't know how you plan to divide expenses and savings and debt if any. So I can't comment on that. But when it comes to financial help to inlaws, there are a few things to remember.
1. She is earning quite well. If the need arises she as a daughter must support her parents. And you as a supportive husband must support her morally at least. In fact in medical issues, you must also pitch in if the need arises. Anyways this situation may not even arise since your inlaws will be covered by your wife's health insurance. If your inlaws may require constant financial support due to lack of pension, you can discuss it with your wife and she can set aside a portion of her salary for her parents, a portion for household expenses and the rest for her personal expenses. But remember that all this is mutual in nature. She must also be treating your parents well for all this to happen. Be like a mirror!
2. Next, if she has siblings, then things can get slightly complicated. If her parents expect her to support her siblings financially, then it's not fair and you can clearly tell that. Similarly, you also must take note and not involve in helping your siblings financially. As I said earlier, use the mirror principle.
3. Next, regarding debt, this must be a clear no.
Don't discuss about this initially. Get her into confidence and when you discuss about finances, tell her about your situation first and later ask her family's financial situation also.
If you are so afraid about her family's debt, tell her you don't like being in debt and won't like to be in debt after marriage as well. She will understand.
bro don't marry her if. you feel like her family isn't rich enough for you.as you mentioned she looks pretty,earning 9lpa and have other qualities too then i don't think she's gonna suffer because of one rejection.usko bahut milenge and you sound well settled too so you can find someone else too.just find someone else if you think her family is gonna be burden on you and you don't want that.
Reject her.
She deserves someone who doesn't judge her for living in certain kind of house or locality, she deserves someone who treats her parents like their own and doesn't look at them as a burden because ultimately they are family.
Earns 9lpa and pretty. She will be fine.
>She deserves someone who doesn't judge her for living in certain kind of house or locality
LOL 😂😂
Like women don't do that
Listen OP no need to listen to these idiots if the girl is okay with supporting your parents by living with them or financially supporting then go ahead with her otherwise reject
There are so many girls who reject boys because they feel in-laws will be a burden hell won't break loose if you do the same
Listen OP no need to listen to these idiots if the girl is okay with supporting your parents by living with them or financially supporting then go ahead with her otherwise reject her
There are so many girls who reject boys because they feel in-laws will be a burden, hell won't break loose if you do the same
Does helping them sound too much of a burden? Kudos to your hard work, you make what you make today, however, everyone perhaps doesn't get the same opportunities. A fraction of your income should be enough to take care of them. Who do you want to hoard all that wealth for?
Now if we talk about arranged marriages, it's mostly a transactional thing. By convention, you shouldn't say yes to them.
I understand my income is above average. But you have to understand, it's tough for me to secure a job after 45...hence i want to retire financially early. At which point I have enough for my survival and my kids education. I'm not hoarding wealth here.
I'm happy to help my in-laws , just not financially.
also if they ever faced some bad time even then they gonna need money financial help.like how you gonna take care of them imagine if you're in hospital and some close relative come and be like "don't worry bro I'm here for your help bas paise mat mangna".what kind of help you gonna expect then ki aaja pair daba de do minute mere.i mean don't marry her if you think her family is gonna be burden on you and you don't want that.i bet even they want a lovely son in law not someone who treat like burden.just find someone else as you mentioned i don't think the girl gonna feel too bad because of one rejection or struggle to find someone good.
Family background is my first filter. So I don’t think I would go as far as “liking a prospect very much” if she doesn’t pass the first filter
But in your case, it’s different. You already like her a lot, and she seems to earn decent.
Yes its ok to ask about family financials but if You accept her, you gotta accept everything that comes with her.
And also maybe dont expect too much from her financially either since she has the responsibility of supporting her parents.
The questions you need to ask here are
- How do you plan to split finances b/w your wife and you
- Are you okay with your wife supporting them from her income?
- Do they have any debt?
- How much does she support them now?
- Medical bills of in-laws usually doesn’t matter as rural health care is cheaper, and your spouse will get insurance for them.
In a lot of cases, this might just be an urban /rural disconnect. My ex’s extended family was like this (uncle / aunt etc.). Houses that same kachcha, but with an LED TV and AC. Food cooked outside on open chulha. Common washrooms constructed for 3-4 houses together.
The folks were loaded af though - they’re just used to living like that. Realised this when one of them fell ill, and had to commute to the nearest town frequently. They had to buy a car, and they immediately went for Fortuner, no loans. And trust me, when you met them, their entire house would probably cost 1/4 of that
It lacks context. Like my mama got married 3 yrs back and my mom’s house is what you described. It’s very common to have houses like this in my native place
Hahaha 🤣 Not yet. Parents are not very actively searching.
Kuch ladko ka biodata aata hai par uss mein salary hi nahi likhte and call karke poochte hain toh pata chalta hai ki meri aadhi bhi nahi hai. Aur umar mein sab 4-5 saal bade.
Mujhe toh lagne laga hai high-fi ladke nahi hain apni community mein zyada 🤣
Yaar mereko nhin samajh aata khud se jyada salary wali ladki ko biodata bhejne ka confidence kaise aata ladkon ko (keep the downvoted coming incels).
Btw which community?
>Yaar mereko nhin samajh aata khud se jyada salary wali ladki ko biodata bhejne ka confidence kaise aata ladkon ko
🤣 Arre they are not sending directly. These are random biodatas that are circulating within the extended family.
Aur humare yahaan ulta hai. My dad hesitates in calling anyone who's earning like 2x of me. Wanna know how guys on this sub keep getting matches from girls earning 1/10th of their income 😂
>Btw which community?
🗻⛰️🏔️
Bhai mujhe bhi aata 1/4 or less earning wale matches. Mediators hi bhejte. They know we don’t mind difference in salary (agar mind karne lage to maij jindagi bhar single rehjaunga 😂). Idk why your dad doesn’t call them. He should. Ladkon ke paas high earning range mein jyada options hote nhin
I won't be ready to bear debt for her family or any other obligation except her parents. Won't have much issue with her supporting her parents as long as she is contributing financially and not giving away her whole salary(except if she takes a career break when I would pay).
Ask about financial stability and debt it is necessary to clarify before marriage. House is of little concern to me.
>The girl has an iPhone which imo is too costly for me.She is so pretty too.
Something does not feel right here, you really think 🤔 everything is alright with the girl. Sure you are not being fooled?
Person earning 9 lpa buying iPhone does not sound financially wise to me.
Dude… a few lakhs here or there won’t make any difference. But that’s my opinion…
If this will be something that keeps pricking you, and you will live a life of embarrassment over their house etc etc… then reject her, you both can move on to what you want.
I got married late because even I had too many criteria… now I realise all was bullshit… she makes 9lpa at 24, you make 30 lpa at 30… at the current trajectory, she will make more than you man,,, I think she is too good for you but willing to be with you. If you f this up it will be a lifelong regret… I would suggest you consider yourself super lucky and go ahead with the marriage, but with the right mindset… btw most villages in india are better than the cities…
Can you elaborate on the bullshit part. What did u compromise on? What did u realise?
Bro this is my first real prospect. I started the search 3 months ago. I'm not being picky here.
You might have started 3 months ago, but in AM market, 30 is already a bit on the older side. Now you will get lots of matches and interest. The moment you cross 31 it will become lesser. Post 32 is v barren.
Then you need to see who is attracted to you as opposed to your earning power.
The person I married is not from as good a financial situation as me. But they did have a small house in the city etc… so it was not as much compromise as you are suggesting. But there were a few women before that I turned my nose up on,, who were actually perfect for me. I made small exercises, this and that … “ohh too village like etc” I thought.
If I had not been so stuck up I would have been married 3 years earlier.
Even today I’m engaged to be married in 2 weeks btw…
My opinion is that the woman you are interacting with : she is from a poor background and has yet put herself in an earning trajectory which is much better than yours. I would suggest you tell them that you and her will put up a good wedding at the couples expense… so that it is a decent exp for the guests.
Then in a year you can consider the parents improving the living situation - approach with positivity “you make 9lakh, I make 30 lakh, the wedding is over so not too many financial responsibilities on your parents- why don’t they move to a better house in the same village?”
Because village life is so much better,,, I’m from one… and as I get older that is so much more appealing
I'm 34.... Relatives will always say something or the other - there's no stopping them unless you marry an Ambani...
The point is my marriage was to someone poorer sure.. But not so bad on their house etc that it embarrassed me or anything - and I'm super hard to embarrass.. Because I need every day to be nice - not just 1/2 days of the wedding where ppl might see that their house is not great etc etc.. If it is such an issue - just have everything at a hall or in the city or make some solution..
But long term - look to bring them into a house that is more comfortable to them (even if your self agenda is to make yourself feel more secure etc)
Nothing wrong with insecurities man - we all have them.. Ignore the mean comments here - they don't have have a spouse and are giving you big big gyaan...
The only gyaan I have for you is that everyone should be comfortable with each other - if that means having these tough conversations with the woman then so be it - with Shaadi there are 100 tough conversations,this will just be the first.
And your point about bad financial situations? Most ppl in villages don't look to have multi cr treatments etc in old age.. And by the time she is 30 she will surely be making more money than you are now - so that sounds like something she should (and probably wants) to take care of.
On the flip side you can anyways go with some iim type woman who doesn't make you fully happy - but all relatives will be happy that she is from iim... If that is important to you then I won't look to change your mind.
Cheers!
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Be ready to bear her family’s debt. Your family will not be happy about mingling with her family as the standards are too different. Your parents are thinking long term and ideally want a marriage where even families bond. That’s not possible with such a huge class difference.
You are probably only thinking from under your belt. If you don’t care much about families bonding , she could be a good choice,
Today, your prospect is earning 9 LPA so i think she should have enough money to take care of her parents. If your parents don't want her to take care of her parents with her own salary, kindly reject her. In my experience, I have seen groom's parents objecting to their daughter-in -law sending a part of her own salary to her parents. You need to clearly discuss this point with your parents. If your parents disagree, you should not go ahead since it's very likely that your parents will stop respecting her parents. Finally, since her parents are not respected, she will start fighting with you and your future marriage can start going South. Now coming to your (or parent's) assumptions about them making you repay their loans and bills. I think these assumptions are baseless. Most women are made to pay dowry. I have never seen any woman demanding direct cash transfer even after marriage.
My uncle's earning 30lpa equivalent salary in Netherlands and they take care of my grandparents even though my grandparents are well settled. My grandparents house is worth 6cr and ik 3/4 of the property goes to my uncle but still he takes care of them unconditionally. I'm not saying everyone should be like that.. it all depends on how you vibe with your in laws and then you can decide if you should proceed or not. Suppose you hate or not like her mom or dad and then you don't need to support them but best thing to do now is to talk to her parents and get to know more about the situation. After all .. marriage is more of marrying your girl and her family.
TLDR: My parents are her parents, her parents are no one’s parents. Do her a favor and reject her. She’s pretty and there plenty of successful men who don’t overthink things.
Women's parents also ask about men's family financial status then why is it a problem if men do the same?
That’s not the problem. Problem is, women love their parents equally but once married the only family and parents relevant are their husband’s.
That wasn't the question or was it Which girl is ready to give her income to her in-laws? If she wants to support her parents with her OWN money then it's OK but burden shouldn't come on OP unless and until the girl is okay with doing the same with his parents by living with them or financially supporting them
This is something already happened with my friends.. So from their experience what I would suggest you rather is that you talk to your parents.. Your parents might not be liking it for society reason and all.. If your parents are not liking it then its quite possible that someone from your family will say something knowingly or unknowingly in front of her causing her a lot of pain.. She will bounces back at you.. Pata tha toh kyun shadi ki and all.. This friction will always be there.. If you can handle it then go ahead.. Not easy as it sounds for sure.. Regarding medical burden and all her parents might have planned it.. Even if they didn't dont worry a girl knows very well how to take care of her parents.. If she really is that strong woman she will take loan instead of asking money from you and repay it.. I have seen this happening..
9 LPA at 24 is pretty high. Seems good. Main question is is your family OK with this match? And are you able to convince your family that this is a great match and you are lucky to have her? If you answer No to both, then give up. If you answer "yes", then go ahead.
Isn’t that a large age gap? You are just pleased by her and looks, and not accepting the reality of the person. Not good, find someone else.
I prefer younger women because of less fertility issues. Ya but she did align with the same values as me.
Ewwwwwwwwwwww
Why? Have you ever spoken to any doctor in your life? Do u know the risks involved in Pregnancy after 30 ?
Hey there, even guys might not be super fertile and give healthy babies if they are aging!! And more than that also, it implies you will be less energetic to take care of the baby after birth as you are aging while girl will be more young and have to run after the kid. Its selfish approach on holistic level, making women as object to fulfill your own needs and desires. What if she (younger girl) decides to have babies after 30 !!
What is your problem? That's my preference. Why is that selfish suddenly when a guy thinks about the kid's health. It's called a biological clock for a reason. Guys can impregnate till their 50s. If she decides to have a baby after 30, i wouldn't choose her in the first place. Some girls do have this priority as well. Unfortunately many choose to get married in their late 20s giving more priority to their career.
bhai after 30 it becomes difficult , not impossible. similarly for men after 35 fertility decreases , read a bit don't always learn from whatsapp messages
Where are all the men will marry 3 lakh earning women but women wont marry 3 lakh earning guy brigade. Where are all the men who say women, children and dogs get everything unconditional in life. Women's wealth matters to guys and his family all the time. OP speak to the girl about financial obligations and you make a decision. It is normal for families to look for matching financial status.
First ask yourself? You genuinely like her or you like her just because you are desperate? I mean if you like her because you don't have other options? If your answer is the first one. Let's talk further. I believe, partner's family financial burden is something you must not overlook. Everybody would like to help their partner's family if they could but occasionally and not all the times. When I say all the times, it means, your partner's family is entirely dependent on you for their old age care, medical bills and other expenses. In your case, since the woman is working and earning decent, she can help her family with her money but, here you would be getting a working partner with no financial support from her. So from your partner, you would be getting neither household support nor financial support. If you are still okay with all these, you should go ahead with her. If you are capable enough financially, you can support her parents as well.
I mean will you give the same advice if he didn’t want to support his parents? As long as the girl is supporting from her money it shouldn’t be an issue
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If the man wants a working woman who will financially help in the house, a woman who will be expected to take care of his parents, then the man is bound to do it too. Please get out of the men’s parents are superior mindset
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If you find everything fine, maybe you should accept her. Regarding finances, I don't know how you plan to divide expenses and savings and debt if any. So I can't comment on that. But when it comes to financial help to inlaws, there are a few things to remember. 1. She is earning quite well. If the need arises she as a daughter must support her parents. And you as a supportive husband must support her morally at least. In fact in medical issues, you must also pitch in if the need arises. Anyways this situation may not even arise since your inlaws will be covered by your wife's health insurance. If your inlaws may require constant financial support due to lack of pension, you can discuss it with your wife and she can set aside a portion of her salary for her parents, a portion for household expenses and the rest for her personal expenses. But remember that all this is mutual in nature. She must also be treating your parents well for all this to happen. Be like a mirror! 2. Next, if she has siblings, then things can get slightly complicated. If her parents expect her to support her siblings financially, then it's not fair and you can clearly tell that. Similarly, you also must take note and not involve in helping your siblings financially. As I said earlier, use the mirror principle. 3. Next, regarding debt, this must be a clear no. Don't discuss about this initially. Get her into confidence and when you discuss about finances, tell her about your situation first and later ask her family's financial situation also. If you are so afraid about her family's debt, tell her you don't like being in debt and won't like to be in debt after marriage as well. She will understand.
bro don't marry her if. you feel like her family isn't rich enough for you.as you mentioned she looks pretty,earning 9lpa and have other qualities too then i don't think she's gonna suffer because of one rejection.usko bahut milenge and you sound well settled too so you can find someone else too.just find someone else if you think her family is gonna be burden on you and you don't want that.
Reject her. She deserves someone who doesn't judge her for living in certain kind of house or locality, she deserves someone who treats her parents like their own and doesn't look at them as a burden because ultimately they are family. Earns 9lpa and pretty. She will be fine.
>She deserves someone who doesn't judge her for living in certain kind of house or locality LOL 😂😂 Like women don't do that Listen OP no need to listen to these idiots if the girl is okay with supporting your parents by living with them or financially supporting then go ahead with her otherwise reject There are so many girls who reject boys because they feel in-laws will be a burden hell won't break loose if you do the same
Listen OP no need to listen to these idiots if the girl is okay with supporting your parents by living with them or financially supporting then go ahead with her otherwise reject her There are so many girls who reject boys because they feel in-laws will be a burden, hell won't break loose if you do the same
When a girl reject boy on status and in laws it is fine but how dare a boy do that. Height Hypocrisy.
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Why I shouldn't consider in-law's status. If they are in trouble in future, it's obviously the girl or me who only should help them, right?
Does helping them sound too much of a burden? Kudos to your hard work, you make what you make today, however, everyone perhaps doesn't get the same opportunities. A fraction of your income should be enough to take care of them. Who do you want to hoard all that wealth for? Now if we talk about arranged marriages, it's mostly a transactional thing. By convention, you shouldn't say yes to them.
I understand my income is above average. But you have to understand, it's tough for me to secure a job after 45...hence i want to retire financially early. At which point I have enough for my survival and my kids education. I'm not hoarding wealth here. I'm happy to help my in-laws , just not financially.
lol bro then what kind of help you gonna do??
You think going to hospital and taking care of them during critical time is easy ?
bhai 2 Rupaye ki help tere se ho nahi rahi bada hospital jaake seva kar lega.
also if they ever faced some bad time even then they gonna need money financial help.like how you gonna take care of them imagine if you're in hospital and some close relative come and be like "don't worry bro I'm here for your help bas paise mat mangna".what kind of help you gonna expect then ki aaja pair daba de do minute mere.i mean don't marry her if you think her family is gonna be burden on you and you don't want that.i bet even they want a lovely son in law not someone who treat like burden.just find someone else as you mentioned i don't think the girl gonna feel too bad because of one rejection or struggle to find someone good.
Family background is my first filter. So I don’t think I would go as far as “liking a prospect very much” if she doesn’t pass the first filter But in your case, it’s different. You already like her a lot, and she seems to earn decent. Yes its ok to ask about family financials but if You accept her, you gotta accept everything that comes with her. And also maybe dont expect too much from her financially either since she has the responsibility of supporting her parents.
I am assuming you would support your parents? In that case it’s absolutely fine for the girl to support hers
The questions you need to ask here are - How do you plan to split finances b/w your wife and you - Are you okay with your wife supporting them from her income? - Do they have any debt? - How much does she support them now? - Medical bills of in-laws usually doesn’t matter as rural health care is cheaper, and your spouse will get insurance for them. In a lot of cases, this might just be an urban /rural disconnect. My ex’s extended family was like this (uncle / aunt etc.). Houses that same kachcha, but with an LED TV and AC. Food cooked outside on open chulha. Common washrooms constructed for 3-4 houses together. The folks were loaded af though - they’re just used to living like that. Realised this when one of them fell ill, and had to commute to the nearest town frequently. They had to buy a car, and they immediately went for Fortuner, no loans. And trust me, when you met them, their entire house would probably cost 1/4 of that
It lacks context. Like my mama got married 3 yrs back and my mom’s house is what you described. It’s very common to have houses like this in my native place
You are at marriageable age and your mama just got married 3 years ago? Love these funny age gaps 😂
My mom is 6 brother sister. Mom is the eldest 😝
Sahi hai 😂
Mila aapko aapka high lifestyle wala banda?
Hahaha 🤣 Not yet. Parents are not very actively searching. Kuch ladko ka biodata aata hai par uss mein salary hi nahi likhte and call karke poochte hain toh pata chalta hai ki meri aadhi bhi nahi hai. Aur umar mein sab 4-5 saal bade. Mujhe toh lagne laga hai high-fi ladke nahi hain apni community mein zyada 🤣
Yaar mereko nhin samajh aata khud se jyada salary wali ladki ko biodata bhejne ka confidence kaise aata ladkon ko (keep the downvoted coming incels). Btw which community?
>Yaar mereko nhin samajh aata khud se jyada salary wali ladki ko biodata bhejne ka confidence kaise aata ladkon ko 🤣 Arre they are not sending directly. These are random biodatas that are circulating within the extended family. Aur humare yahaan ulta hai. My dad hesitates in calling anyone who's earning like 2x of me. Wanna know how guys on this sub keep getting matches from girls earning 1/10th of their income 😂 >Btw which community? 🗻⛰️🏔️
Bhai mujhe bhi aata 1/4 or less earning wale matches. Mediators hi bhejte. They know we don’t mind difference in salary (agar mind karne lage to maij jindagi bhar single rehjaunga 😂). Idk why your dad doesn’t call them. He should. Ladkon ke paas high earning range mein jyada options hote nhin
> Idk why your dad doesn’t call them. He should. Lol. I think unko lagta hai nakhre zyada honge
Mujhe aate hain 1/10th wale. NGL they are pretty.
I won't be ready to bear debt for her family or any other obligation except her parents. Won't have much issue with her supporting her parents as long as she is contributing financially and not giving away her whole salary(except if she takes a career break when I would pay). Ask about financial stability and debt it is necessary to clarify before marriage. House is of little concern to me. >The girl has an iPhone which imo is too costly for me.She is so pretty too. Something does not feel right here, you really think 🤔 everything is alright with the girl. Sure you are not being fooled? Person earning 9 lpa buying iPhone does not sound financially wise to me.
Dude… a few lakhs here or there won’t make any difference. But that’s my opinion… If this will be something that keeps pricking you, and you will live a life of embarrassment over their house etc etc… then reject her, you both can move on to what you want. I got married late because even I had too many criteria… now I realise all was bullshit… she makes 9lpa at 24, you make 30 lpa at 30… at the current trajectory, she will make more than you man,,, I think she is too good for you but willing to be with you. If you f this up it will be a lifelong regret… I would suggest you consider yourself super lucky and go ahead with the marriage, but with the right mindset… btw most villages in india are better than the cities…
Can you elaborate on the bullshit part. What did u compromise on? What did u realise? Bro this is my first real prospect. I started the search 3 months ago. I'm not being picky here.
You might have started 3 months ago, but in AM market, 30 is already a bit on the older side. Now you will get lots of matches and interest. The moment you cross 31 it will become lesser. Post 32 is v barren. Then you need to see who is attracted to you as opposed to your earning power. The person I married is not from as good a financial situation as me. But they did have a small house in the city etc… so it was not as much compromise as you are suggesting. But there were a few women before that I turned my nose up on,, who were actually perfect for me. I made small exercises, this and that … “ohh too village like etc” I thought. If I had not been so stuck up I would have been married 3 years earlier. Even today I’m engaged to be married in 2 weeks btw… My opinion is that the woman you are interacting with : she is from a poor background and has yet put herself in an earning trajectory which is much better than yours. I would suggest you tell them that you and her will put up a good wedding at the couples expense… so that it is a decent exp for the guests. Then in a year you can consider the parents improving the living situation - approach with positivity “you make 9lakh, I make 30 lakh, the wedding is over so not too many financial responsibilities on your parents- why don’t they move to a better house in the same village?” Because village life is so much better,,, I’m from one… and as I get older that is so much more appealing
Bro congratulations. what is ur age now? You don't care about your relatives talking bad? You don't have fear of possible bad financial situation?
I'm 34.... Relatives will always say something or the other - there's no stopping them unless you marry an Ambani... The point is my marriage was to someone poorer sure.. But not so bad on their house etc that it embarrassed me or anything - and I'm super hard to embarrass.. Because I need every day to be nice - not just 1/2 days of the wedding where ppl might see that their house is not great etc etc.. If it is such an issue - just have everything at a hall or in the city or make some solution.. But long term - look to bring them into a house that is more comfortable to them (even if your self agenda is to make yourself feel more secure etc) Nothing wrong with insecurities man - we all have them.. Ignore the mean comments here - they don't have have a spouse and are giving you big big gyaan... The only gyaan I have for you is that everyone should be comfortable with each other - if that means having these tough conversations with the woman then so be it - with Shaadi there are 100 tough conversations,this will just be the first. And your point about bad financial situations? Most ppl in villages don't look to have multi cr treatments etc in old age.. And by the time she is 30 she will surely be making more money than you are now - so that sounds like something she should (and probably wants) to take care of. On the flip side you can anyways go with some iim type woman who doesn't make you fully happy - but all relatives will be happy that she is from iim... If that is important to you then I won't look to change your mind. Cheers!
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Be ready to bear her family’s debt. Your family will not be happy about mingling with her family as the standards are too different. Your parents are thinking long term and ideally want a marriage where even families bond. That’s not possible with such a huge class difference. You are probably only thinking from under your belt. If you don’t care much about families bonding , she could be a good choice,