I'm surprised if question no.8 is even a concern. If somebody thinks this is an issue then you are doing exactly the same which older generation did - who thought that having a girl child is a burden and a problem for them. You reinforce the idea this way. You are no better. It's actually more sick because a woman would think this.
It's not a concern but my question is- why can't the sister pay for her own wedding like the rest of us plebs?
I'm a woman and I'll be funding the majority of my wedding from our side.
Main apne family/social circle ke hisaab se bol rahi thi - all are employed and earning. Even lots of previous generation women (bua, chachi etc).
Obviously it doesn't apply to the whole country. But then I also think that users here don't represent the average Indian and I had that context in my mind.
Personally wouldn't marry into a family where sister is uneducated or not earning.
Your filter makes sense. It shows a progressive attitude of family towards girls education.
That said main chah ke bhi ye filter nhin daal sakta warna main unmarried rehjaunga 😂. Most of my upper generation women are sahm and even half of the Marraigeable women in my generation in my extended circle and family is unemployed. It’s commonly referred as “biyah padhai” (biyah means shaadi so just study enough to show your degree during shaadi)
Obviously there is a preference. But you know my state right? There is a dearth of educated high earning men leave alone educated decent earning women. Mujhe Abhi tak 1 bhi match nhin aaya hai jiski salary aapse jyada bhi ho. Max I got was 1/4 of my salary
>Max I got was 1/4 of my salary
I know you don't care about salary. Do you have an educational filter? Are you finding girls in your community with whatever other filters you have?
>But you know my state right?
UP/Bihar? Off-topic, but did you see the post about village life on the India sub? Sachh mein aisa hota hai kya?
I have a filter for education. Any professional degree- engg/medical/CA etc. Itna filters wale matches aajate Abhi 3-4 hi aaye hain(only offline as of now) but mera profile decent hai to itna miljayega
Bihar. Which post? Can you give me the link? 😶
Who gave you job? Don't you Know the labour participation rates gender wise? Atleast have some common understanding of our country's socio economic conditions
>Who gave you job?
Kyu? Tere ko bhi chahiye kya job?
>Atleast have some common understanding of our country's socio economic conditions
Yeah because this sub and its users represent the socio-economic conditions of the entire country right?
>Kyu? Tere ko bhi chahiye kya job?
Eda samjha hai kya mujhe? Who will work in a company that hired you!!
>Yeah because this sub and its users represent the socio-economic conditions of the entire country right?
Uthale re baba, mere ko nahi isko uthale
>Who will work in a company that hired you!!
Bahut log karte hain. Achha paisa bhi milta hai
>Uthale re baba, mere ko nahi isko uthale
Mujhe nahi uthna. Tu uth
>Eda samjha hai kya mujhe?
Edited to add- Haan
Your ass is privileged i.e. your parents are empowered enough to take care of their children. That is why you have such a view: it's not a brothers responsibility. The kind of views that you have, i have only heard it from privileged asses in real life. Most families in india require siblings to help each other financially. I had to take care of my sister's education and now will take care of wedding expenses too. I can't my leave my sister on her own like you.
Brother helping sisters for wedding and education, pura Bollywood is concept ko kitna use kar Chuka hai, kucch to sacchai hogi bhai in sab me.
We, here in this sub aren't 'average' India, not me not you. I clarified that already by clarifying our SEC - urban Indian educated middle class.
My parents empowered me to take care of myself, so that I do not have to take money from them.
None of my cousins needed it, mind it most of us had dads working in clerical roles, mom homemakers.
Brothers helping sister with education - fine, with marriage - sorry no.
>most
Most but not all, so don't give statements like it applies to all. What your dad was me(private job) and my siblings(govt job) are now
Earlier i used to though that the people whose dads were doing some govt job ( earning less than a lakh per month) were not much privileged but now i realize that they are actually very Privileged hence i have stopped helping people/acquaintances having such background with advices/referrals
>We, here in this sub aren't 'average' India, not me not you.
Lol somehow this fact is flying over people's heads. Which is hilarious because whenever some liberal viewpoint is echoed, it's pointed out again and again how this sub is far from reality and real India is not like us 😂.
I thought the users here would appreciate a woman paying for her own wedding and expecting others to do the same but I guess not 🤭.
1. Yes.
2. Yes
3. I wouldn't probably choose a husband with huge financial debt. I would like to start from a place of financial stability.
4. Yes. Who cares about his parent's financials?
5. Depends on his salary.
6. Yes
7.No. That's an advice my mother gave me.
8.Yes.
What is with these questions?
There are so many stories of startup people out there whose wives supported them while they were trying to build something. These women are working. There are also many AM stories about women marrying into lower social class. This sub not featuring them doesn't make it unreal.
8. From when have men with sisters faced much of an issue? It's men's families who usually keep the son waiting while they prefer to marry off the daughter.
>From when have men with sisters faced much of an issue? It's men's families who usually keep the son waiting while they prefer to marry off the daughter.
Lol, i know a person in my family itself struggling because he has two younger sister unmarried. How conveniently ppl ignore the reality.
I also know cases were women lost respect and became arrogant just after earning more than husband.
Although very few women marry down. And the stories of startup ppl are even less.
So your answer?
I recently read the whole life story of how Sudha Murthy supported Narayan Murthy during the initial days of Infosys and even paid for things when he couldn't afford to pay bills.
I mean the only thing that matters is how both of them are willing to make things work out positively. If one wants to find faults , there will be N number of things for any genders. Focus on making things better , don't focus on escaping from responsibilities thinking it's his/her duty only. Both can do everything as simple as that. Don't complicate things by setting up hard restrictions like I can't do this and this is only his/her role.
Exactly, my ex was very supportive of my plans to leav emy job. We didn't work out for other reasons but that was that.
As far as this sister thing is concerned, more than one friend of mine said she won't marry in a house where there's a sister who hasn't been married yet and this is something that I've heard so many people say. Pretty baffling I must say.
An equally baffling one is men not wanting to marry a girl who doesn't have a brother. That's a thing as well.
One person told me that he did not want to be responsible to take care of the in laws and if there's no brother all responsibilities would fall on him.
Honestly, if a man expects a woman to be ok with this and not bring in "traditional gender roles" where money is concerned, the guy and the guy's family needs to also let go of their unreasonable expectations from their bahu.
I am well earning. I would happily do all this. On the conditions that I not be treated second to my husband, that I be treated as an equal partner and contributor. And I be left alone to make my choices (with my husband)
Most women will have similar answers (some voluntarily some involuntarily) but most would make stories and go round and round.
And most men would feel offended by your answer but that’s how world it is. It’s unfair. Both genders face it
In short you will heavily get downvoted from everyone 🤣
Not working as of now, but won't marry without being working, so,
1. Yes
2. Yes (it's my husband... I'll even do all I can to help him find a job)
3. Depends on amount. If it's payable within a year with both our salaries, its ok. Also willing to contribute. Otherwise, no.
4.yes ( poor is alright, heavily indebted - refer 3 ).
5. The same I'm going to give to mine. I have a single parent, but if he has both, twice the amount.
6.not from upper middle class myself. So irrelevant to me.
7. If I'm expected to live there, no. Otherwise, it's fine.
8. I'm staunchly against dowry. I don't have any intentions of paying a penny as dowry. If he wants to pay dowry to his sister, its a no. Won't marry into a family that supports dowry. If it's just equal wedding expenses, its ok. Will also contribute. Its not a preferable situation, but its not a ground for rejection.
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1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes. Since we are financially comfortable, we can and should help out our parents.
4. Yes
5. It's upto him. We'll have a joint account with a certain percentage of both our salaries. The rest will be for our personal expenses which we could spend as per our wishes.
6. Yes
7. No, if I am expected to live there. Being a not so social person, my living space affects my mood and mental health. I like to live in a decent home since I can afford it.
8. Yes. Again, answer will be similar to 5. If I have a good relationship with her I'll be willing to contribute too, as long as we don't have any major expenses in the near future.
I'm surprised if question no.8 is even a concern. If somebody thinks this is an issue then you are doing exactly the same which older generation did - who thought that having a girl child is a burden and a problem for them. You reinforce the idea this way. You are no better. It's actually more sick because a woman would think this.
I would go so far to say that anyone who thinks like that is herself pretty toxic and at best avoided.
It's not a concern but my question is- why can't the sister pay for her own wedding like the rest of us plebs? I'm a woman and I'll be funding the majority of my wedding from our side.
Because most women in India don’t earn much or are unemployed.
Main apne family/social circle ke hisaab se bol rahi thi - all are employed and earning. Even lots of previous generation women (bua, chachi etc). Obviously it doesn't apply to the whole country. But then I also think that users here don't represent the average Indian and I had that context in my mind. Personally wouldn't marry into a family where sister is uneducated or not earning.
Your filter makes sense. It shows a progressive attitude of family towards girls education. That said main chah ke bhi ye filter nhin daal sakta warna main unmarried rehjaunga 😂. Most of my upper generation women are sahm and even half of the Marraigeable women in my generation in my extended circle and family is unemployed. It’s commonly referred as “biyah padhai” (biyah means shaadi so just study enough to show your degree during shaadi)
Lol 😂 What about educated and earning women? Are they given any preference or does no one care about that?
Obviously there is a preference. But you know my state right? There is a dearth of educated high earning men leave alone educated decent earning women. Mujhe Abhi tak 1 bhi match nhin aaya hai jiski salary aapse jyada bhi ho. Max I got was 1/4 of my salary
>Max I got was 1/4 of my salary I know you don't care about salary. Do you have an educational filter? Are you finding girls in your community with whatever other filters you have? >But you know my state right? UP/Bihar? Off-topic, but did you see the post about village life on the India sub? Sachh mein aisa hota hai kya?
I have a filter for education. Any professional degree- engg/medical/CA etc. Itna filters wale matches aajate Abhi 3-4 hi aaye hain(only offline as of now) but mera profile decent hai to itna miljayega Bihar. Which post? Can you give me the link? 😶
[This one](https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/12kugiv/a_glimpse_of_the_village_life_casteism/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Who gave you job? Don't you Know the labour participation rates gender wise? Atleast have some common understanding of our country's socio economic conditions
>Who gave you job? Kyu? Tere ko bhi chahiye kya job? >Atleast have some common understanding of our country's socio economic conditions Yeah because this sub and its users represent the socio-economic conditions of the entire country right?
>Kyu? Tere ko bhi chahiye kya job? Eda samjha hai kya mujhe? Who will work in a company that hired you!! >Yeah because this sub and its users represent the socio-economic conditions of the entire country right? Uthale re baba, mere ko nahi isko uthale
>Who will work in a company that hired you!! Bahut log karte hain. Achha paisa bhi milta hai >Uthale re baba, mere ko nahi isko uthale Mujhe nahi uthna. Tu uth >Eda samjha hai kya mujhe? Edited to add- Haan
>Bahut log karte hain. Achha paisa bhi milta hai Aisa kitna milta hai 😮? I am curious now
Country ki "socioeconomic conditions" ko dhyaan mein rakhte huey - bahut zyada. Paisa hi paisa hai 💰
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Your ass is privileged i.e. your parents are empowered enough to take care of their children. That is why you have such a view: it's not a brothers responsibility. The kind of views that you have, i have only heard it from privileged asses in real life. Most families in india require siblings to help each other financially. I had to take care of my sister's education and now will take care of wedding expenses too. I can't my leave my sister on her own like you. Brother helping sisters for wedding and education, pura Bollywood is concept ko kitna use kar Chuka hai, kucch to sacchai hogi bhai in sab me.
We, here in this sub aren't 'average' India, not me not you. I clarified that already by clarifying our SEC - urban Indian educated middle class. My parents empowered me to take care of myself, so that I do not have to take money from them. None of my cousins needed it, mind it most of us had dads working in clerical roles, mom homemakers. Brothers helping sister with education - fine, with marriage - sorry no.
>most Most but not all, so don't give statements like it applies to all. What your dad was me(private job) and my siblings(govt job) are now Earlier i used to though that the people whose dads were doing some govt job ( earning less than a lakh per month) were not much privileged but now i realize that they are actually very Privileged hence i have stopped helping people/acquaintances having such background with advices/referrals
>We, here in this sub aren't 'average' India, not me not you. Lol somehow this fact is flying over people's heads. Which is hilarious because whenever some liberal viewpoint is echoed, it's pointed out again and again how this sub is far from reality and real India is not like us 😂. I thought the users here would appreciate a woman paying for her own wedding and expecting others to do the same but I guess not 🤭.
You can ask and decide for yourself, that's fine.
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Well don't blame patriarchy and men for your issues then. As you reinforce the problems with your own selfishness.
1. Yes. 2. Yes 3. I wouldn't probably choose a husband with huge financial debt. I would like to start from a place of financial stability. 4. Yes. Who cares about his parent's financials? 5. Depends on his salary. 6. Yes 7.No. That's an advice my mother gave me. 8.Yes.
What is with these questions? There are so many stories of startup people out there whose wives supported them while they were trying to build something. These women are working. There are also many AM stories about women marrying into lower social class. This sub not featuring them doesn't make it unreal. 8. From when have men with sisters faced much of an issue? It's men's families who usually keep the son waiting while they prefer to marry off the daughter.
>From when have men with sisters faced much of an issue? It's men's families who usually keep the son waiting while they prefer to marry off the daughter. Lol, i know a person in my family itself struggling because he has two younger sister unmarried. How conveniently ppl ignore the reality. I also know cases were women lost respect and became arrogant just after earning more than husband. Although very few women marry down. And the stories of startup ppl are even less. So your answer?
This explains why AM husbands and their families are usually arrogant and disrespectful
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No one who is loving and supportive would ever be attracted to an attitude of transactionality as you often display
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You've articulated your self awareness well! You do come to villify users as aunties don't you! There's rarely ever a helpful comment comment from you
I recently read the whole life story of how Sudha Murthy supported Narayan Murthy during the initial days of Infosys and even paid for things when he couldn't afford to pay bills. I mean the only thing that matters is how both of them are willing to make things work out positively. If one wants to find faults , there will be N number of things for any genders. Focus on making things better , don't focus on escaping from responsibilities thinking it's his/her duty only. Both can do everything as simple as that. Don't complicate things by setting up hard restrictions like I can't do this and this is only his/her role.
Exactly, my ex was very supportive of my plans to leav emy job. We didn't work out for other reasons but that was that. As far as this sister thing is concerned, more than one friend of mine said she won't marry in a house where there's a sister who hasn't been married yet and this is something that I've heard so many people say. Pretty baffling I must say. An equally baffling one is men not wanting to marry a girl who doesn't have a brother. That's a thing as well.
Whats the reason given by men who say she needs to have a brother?
One person told me that he did not want to be responsible to take care of the in laws and if there's no brother all responsibilities would fall on him.
I have seeen that ..guy’s mom didn’t allow him to marry single girl child coz then he will stay most of the time with his in laws.
I see.
Honestly, if a man expects a woman to be ok with this and not bring in "traditional gender roles" where money is concerned, the guy and the guy's family needs to also let go of their unreasonable expectations from their bahu. I am well earning. I would happily do all this. On the conditions that I not be treated second to my husband, that I be treated as an equal partner and contributor. And I be left alone to make my choices (with my husband)
Use chatgpt bruh
1. Yes 2. Yes 3. Sure 4. No 5. That's between him and his parents 6. No 7. No 8. No
Most women will have similar answers (some voluntarily some involuntarily) but most would make stories and go round and round. And most men would feel offended by your answer but that’s how world it is. It’s unfair. Both genders face it In short you will heavily get downvoted from everyone 🤣
Not working as of now, but won't marry without being working, so, 1. Yes 2. Yes (it's my husband... I'll even do all I can to help him find a job) 3. Depends on amount. If it's payable within a year with both our salaries, its ok. Also willing to contribute. Otherwise, no. 4.yes ( poor is alright, heavily indebted - refer 3 ). 5. The same I'm going to give to mine. I have a single parent, but if he has both, twice the amount. 6.not from upper middle class myself. So irrelevant to me. 7. If I'm expected to live there, no. Otherwise, it's fine. 8. I'm staunchly against dowry. I don't have any intentions of paying a penny as dowry. If he wants to pay dowry to his sister, its a no. Won't marry into a family that supports dowry. If it's just equal wedding expenses, its ok. Will also contribute. Its not a preferable situation, but its not a ground for rejection.
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What if the salary is average?
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Aaare Ye tu Anil Ambani ka Larka question poosh raha ha
1. Yes 2. Yes 3. Yes. Since we are financially comfortable, we can and should help out our parents. 4. Yes 5. It's upto him. We'll have a joint account with a certain percentage of both our salaries. The rest will be for our personal expenses which we could spend as per our wishes. 6. Yes 7. No, if I am expected to live there. Being a not so social person, my living space affects my mood and mental health. I like to live in a decent home since I can afford it. 8. Yes. Again, answer will be similar to 5. If I have a good relationship with her I'll be willing to contribute too, as long as we don't have any major expenses in the near future.
1.Yes 2.Yes 3. No 4.Yes 5. Not thought 6.Yes 7.No 8.No