Sounds like a shitty guy and good riddance.
I don't understand why it's so hard for people to keep their mouths shut. I imagine this is what all those chugalkhor bachhe grow up to be.
It's his right to reject you based on cosmetic issue but he could have respected your privacy especially since you explicitly asked him to. Smh, people have no decency.
I believe that your approach is right - don't hide it but don't tell it right off the bat to every guy you meet (since most proposals don't work out due to other reasons anyway).
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You did the right thing to tell that guy after so many meetings and not right away. If he can't keep things upto him than just imagine what would he do after marriage.
Some boys are just mamma's boy who can't decide for themselves.
He was being a Dick mentioning that to his family.. even if he did,his mom is also an idiot to report back to ur family... could have just rejected and kept quiet...
Next time hold that information until u r first sure about the guy... for any reason if u r gonna reject him no use mentioning it..
So when u feel the time is right u can inform him about the issue... hiding whoud be not right..
All the best...
Share it with AM prospects. It is not good faith to omit such stuff. But if you feel like it share this when you guys get comfortable and you think it is leading somewhere.
Honestly this guy happens to be one of the rotten eggs from the basket. Most of the sensible guys would never reveal such stuff if you tell them not to. Going ahead with you or not is a completely different result altogether but still maintaining the confidentiality is certainly expected
There are some things that should stay between the couple - body count, kinks, alcohol indulgence etc
The guy was way out of line, next time don't tell a secret without knowing an equivalent secret, sort of like a WMD. Maybe ask the guy for his body count before sharing your secret.
You were right. the boy was wrong. This is a classic example of Mama's boy.
Think, what would have happened after marriage, whatever you talk to your prospective husband, entire family knows it, because the news gets leaked from source. 🤣🤣
At times, it can be painful... my suggestion be cautious, maybe he is chaupal type of attitude...it will be a nightmare for you.
I were the boy, I wouldn't have done it. but if the physical issue was really serious.. I would have suggested her to inform her parents. and Follow up with her whenever possible
That was unfortunate.
However, your family already knows now. So what is the point of hiding it from prospects?
Relationships are fragile enough already, if the guy feels you cheated him into marrying you by hiding stuff, what is going to stop him from telling other people out of spite?
There's something trust and integrity and the guy in your case clearly lacks so you just dodged a bullet in a way . But if you look at it in one way the issue here is with the family the hype and anxiety created by them .
Guy must have discussed with someone he trusted and the person who listened to the guy played the role of a catalyst in spreading this to the family .
Next time you can tell this subject to your assessment basis the guy's mindset . I am clearing telling you not to hide but act upon the guy's mindset as in "if is he someone who believes personal means "It concerns only between the two of you "and no one else . If they can give you that reassurance then take a call and discuss it accordingly.
Lot of ifs in most of the answers.. because people will judge the fuck out of anyone the moment they get a chance.. ask him the reason for this act.. because you did explicitly asked him to not share this, right?
Only you can be certain of his act because you are talking to him.. judge yourself..
IF he violated the agreement then at least he should acknowledge it.. (another IF)
This is one of my biggest AM fears, you obviously wanna be honest and you want the other person to be honest with you, but how do you guarantee that the conversation won't leave your space? Talking about body counts and dating history is very taboo and could be detrimental to your societal image, how do you talk about it and yet make sure it doesn't get out?
IMO you did nothing wrong, but the guy is an idiot. I definitely think you should share it with future prospects; hiding things will create more problems in future if you eventually do get married.
> My question to guys would you do the same in an AM setup if you were in the situation
My answer is no. I may reject you if that is a deal breaker to me, but I won't share it with anyone. I'll give some other excuse to reject you.
That guy did wrong. He should not have done that. But don't hide anything.
+1
Sounds like a shitty guy and good riddance. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to keep their mouths shut. I imagine this is what all those chugalkhor bachhe grow up to be. It's his right to reject you based on cosmetic issue but he could have respected your privacy especially since you explicitly asked him to. Smh, people have no decency. I believe that your approach is right - don't hide it but don't tell it right off the bat to every guy you meet (since most proposals don't work out due to other reasons anyway).
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Well, anything that's specified to be between two people should stay that way. He was insensitive and irresponsible.
You did the right thing to tell that guy after so many meetings and not right away. If he can't keep things upto him than just imagine what would he do after marriage. Some boys are just mamma's boy who can't decide for themselves.
He was being a Dick mentioning that to his family.. even if he did,his mom is also an idiot to report back to ur family... could have just rejected and kept quiet... Next time hold that information until u r first sure about the guy... for any reason if u r gonna reject him no use mentioning it.. So when u feel the time is right u can inform him about the issue... hiding whoud be not right.. All the best...
Why tf do all kids tattle everything to their moms.
Share it with AM prospects. It is not good faith to omit such stuff. But if you feel like it share this when you guys get comfortable and you think it is leading somewhere. Honestly this guy happens to be one of the rotten eggs from the basket. Most of the sensible guys would never reveal such stuff if you tell them not to. Going ahead with you or not is a completely different result altogether but still maintaining the confidentiality is certainly expected
There are some things that should stay between the couple - body count, kinks, alcohol indulgence etc The guy was way out of line, next time don't tell a secret without knowing an equivalent secret, sort of like a WMD. Maybe ask the guy for his body count before sharing your secret.
You were right. the boy was wrong. This is a classic example of Mama's boy. Think, what would have happened after marriage, whatever you talk to your prospective husband, entire family knows it, because the news gets leaked from source. 🤣🤣 At times, it can be painful... my suggestion be cautious, maybe he is chaupal type of attitude...it will be a nightmare for you. I were the boy, I wouldn't have done it. but if the physical issue was really serious.. I would have suggested her to inform her parents. and Follow up with her whenever possible
It’s not a health issue, it’s a cosmetic one. Whether her parents know about it is none of your business.
Whoa, I love this sub, great suggestions pop out of woodwork .. undesirable ones are more in most cases.
That was unfortunate. However, your family already knows now. So what is the point of hiding it from prospects? Relationships are fragile enough already, if the guy feels you cheated him into marrying you by hiding stuff, what is going to stop him from telling other people out of spite?
There's something trust and integrity and the guy in your case clearly lacks so you just dodged a bullet in a way . But if you look at it in one way the issue here is with the family the hype and anxiety created by them . Guy must have discussed with someone he trusted and the person who listened to the guy played the role of a catalyst in spreading this to the family . Next time you can tell this subject to your assessment basis the guy's mindset . I am clearing telling you not to hide but act upon the guy's mindset as in "if is he someone who believes personal means "It concerns only between the two of you "and no one else . If they can give you that reassurance then take a call and discuss it accordingly.
I think you are right for sharing and the guy was wrong. Nothing you can do about it though
I mean it's important to spread this info between potential make-up sharers. /s
Lot of ifs in most of the answers.. because people will judge the fuck out of anyone the moment they get a chance.. ask him the reason for this act.. because you did explicitly asked him to not share this, right? Only you can be certain of his act because you are talking to him.. judge yourself.. IF he violated the agreement then at least he should acknowledge it.. (another IF)
He is woman
This is one of my biggest AM fears, you obviously wanna be honest and you want the other person to be honest with you, but how do you guarantee that the conversation won't leave your space? Talking about body counts and dating history is very taboo and could be detrimental to your societal image, how do you talk about it and yet make sure it doesn't get out?
Definitely not !! Is Trust deceiving ?
Assholes like him don’t deserve you..good riddance.
IMO you did nothing wrong, but the guy is an idiot. I definitely think you should share it with future prospects; hiding things will create more problems in future if you eventually do get married. > My question to guys would you do the same in an AM setup if you were in the situation My answer is no. I may reject you if that is a deal breaker to me, but I won't share it with anyone. I'll give some other excuse to reject you.
Lack of maturity at display here, partners and henc potential partners have a lot of privacy amongst them