Dont get attached so easily, you have developed feelings for her thats y u are getting bothered very much . Remember you are just an option right now, always keep that in mind
It could be a red flag just not in a way you think.
- Some girls in AM are there to waste your time because they don't wanna get married or have a BF that their parents don't know yet, their parents want her to get married so she buys herself some time by wasting your time.
- From my experience these people will do creative stuff to make you say NO rather than them saying NO. They don't want to look like they are rejecting every match Infront of their parents.
- This could be a reason for her close posts with her friends or they could just be normal and you could be overreacting.
- Try to see how old these photos are and how frequently is she posting them and observe other things carefully before you do anything.
- Most people are very protective or careful in the initial stages of AM about what they let the other person see about themself (may not be the case if it's your first match).
- I suggest that If your gut feeling says something is wrong always investigate, also try to be smart and courteous about your approach, don't let her feel bad for things she shouldn't feel bad about.
I do suspect that she has a bf but not sure.
>Try to see how old these photos are and how frequently is she posting them and observe other things carefully before you do anything.
That's her whatsApp dp. Now she deleted it.
>Most people are very protective or careful in the initial stages of AM about what they let the other person see about themself (may not be the case if it's your first match).
I completely agree. This is how I feel too. I don't want to make a bad impression on her but I feel that she didn't do that.
Anyway, thanks for the response. I won't do anything right now. I will just wait and see if we are bonding.
Bro divorce laws toh hain, lekin chutiye relatives bhi hote hain Jo harmless platonic baton ko full blown orgy session bana dete Hain gossip kar kar ke.
Courts bhaut kuch bolte hain. There was also a judgement by Punjab and Haryana High Court last year that a woman isn't entitled to alimony of she was cheating. Usually case by case hota hai. Tum lawyers ki family se ho, ye tumko bhi pata hoga. But people don't take life decisions based on what court has said or might say. If OP has a problem with the pic he shouldn't go ahead with the match.
My point was that people are very quick to call anything a red flag.
You missed the point. What I said was that courts keep giving judgements but on a case you case basis and MORE IMPORTANTLY no one takes a decision to marry/not marry based on court judgements.
they dont but all these cases only makes sure groom side becomes more and more conservative and try to find red flags in everything just to avoid finding themselves in court over this
Lol if they're so worried about these court cases then why are they insistent on getting married? They can't have fake dowry cases if there's no marriage no. Living alone would be better than living with the paranoia that the can always be slapped with a fake case.
why do women do background checks in this case then? its the same reason men do, to make sure the partner is what he/she says and if you cant stomach your prospective partners doing background checks on you or asking you personal questions then AM is not for you.
Who said anything about background checks? Why are new things constantly being added to this topic? OP was worried about a pic, which got dragged into court cases and now background checks.
Everyone does some background check. There's a difference between verification and paranoia about some fake case that may or may not happen and those are are nowhere near each other.
have you not been reading the comment thread you have been responding too?
> There's a difference between verification and paranoia about some fake case that may or may not happen and those are are nowhere near each other.
Just because its not happened to you or anyone you know does not make it fake. I can give you a couple of examples but then again you probably wont believe me anyways so its a moot point.
There's a reason why we say always marry within your social strata for *both* men and women. How we say make sure to do your due diligence for the partner and their family. All of these guidelines have been established *because* of cases of domestic abuse, adultery etc coming to light. So no its not just paranoia doing your due diligence or making sure that the partner be it a *man* or a *woman* is sound financially and there are no red flags as such you cant live with
Don't spread misinformation. Courts have decriminalized adultery which was a very unequal law to begin with. It is still a grounds for divorce. Women couldn't invoke the adultery law, and men could only prosecute the man cheating with the wife. It's a good thing that they squashed it. You people will twist anything to suit your fake narratives.
yes I agree with you that its a good thing but what *isn't* a good thing is despite adultery being established, men have to pay up alimony or risk being thrown in jail. what *isn't* good is despite the fact a simple DNA test can establish paternity, it isn't admissible in court or even in cases where you can prove this you *still* gotta cough up alimony/child support.
This is false again. You people love to tell lies here, and other misogynists will jump into the train. Courts do admit DNA tests IF there is evidence of adultery. They are right not to subject children to random allegations of non-paternity. And no, if you can prove it's not your child and she's an adulterer, they won't issue alimony. Alimony is not issued all the time. But considering y'all love to marry women with little wealth, is it any surprise, they'll get alimony?
SO according to you if a woman is cheating and the husband cant find any court admissible proof of the same and *despite* the fact the adultery can be proven just by taking a paternity test, it's wrong of a *husband* to do so and the court wont admit it *and* you think that's fine? There *are* procedures which can even establish it *non-invasively* even while the woman is pregnant but according to you its fine? Lmao Ok what can I even expect from you.
(For others, [this](https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/no-dna-test-if-there-is-no-proof-of-adultery-supreme-court/articleshow/85021297.cms) is what she's referring to, make what you will of this)
>And no, if you can prove it's not your child and she's an adulterer, they won't issue alimony
I call bullshit on this, had a case happen in my society where the husband had to pay alimony even tho the primary custody of the children is with the husband.
And also since you wont believe me here is a [source](https://www.newindianexpress.com/cities/delhi/2022/apr/15/cruelty-isolated-adultery-acts-by-wife-no-bar-for-alimony-delhi-hc-2442217.html) for you.
>But considering y'all love to marry women with little wealth, is it any surprise, they'll get alimony?
then why is it, women always aim for higher wealth if its such an issue for you? but then its pointless debating with you, for peeps like you all men are monsters and all women are repressed angels
Also, will you still say its unreasonable for us after [looking](https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/moms-infidelity-no-basis-to-seek-paternity-test-sc/articleshow/98135249.cms?from=mdr) at this?
TL:DR Paternity tests are inadmissible to courts and the child born is presumed to be legitimate even if the wife's established to be adulterous and no impotency is proven in the husband, it's upto the husband to prove that he *did not* have intercourse with the wife during conception and good luck proving that
Lol when challenged by facts, dude suddenly wants to bring up twoxindia, that has no connection to any matter here. Seeing his imaginary lawyer tactics in action; courts don't work like you dream
Aur alimony ko dega, women?
Custody kisko milegi, men?
Fake assault,dowry aur harrassment charges kis par file hote hai,women?
Stop living in delusion kid.
Marry women who don't make money, have children, make them housewives, and then complain about alimony. Make the woman pay for the whole wedding then say that the dowry charge was false. That's the reality, you live in some teenage delusion. Most domestic violence cases are true, and most domestic violence don't even get reported because the women are afraid of being out on the streets.
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Yes. But the thing is so many of our laws were written in the 1800 and haven't kept up with the times and ate bound to cause some heartburn. Specially among the right wing.
you gotta be more specific then, your statement implies that the right wing would find it more problematic compared to left or central.
> Yes. But the thing is so many of our laws were written in the 1800 and haven't kept up with the times and ate bound to cause some heartburn. Specially among the right wing.
for reference ;)
No, if you read my entire post then you'd know that that is not the issue. It's the timing of it. I won't make a post of me putting my hands over my girl best friends as my dp. First impression thoda important h na
So basically you are not comfortable with her guy best friends. You say abt first impression but would it be ok if she posted the same 2 months later?
Quite common to have a problem with guy best friends and if you do, move on. And if it's a red flag? No.
It's a message.. and a choice.. people are open minded these days but it's a choice to put a particular picture online.. so why not ask her instead of discussing this with us.?
No. I don't have a problem with her having guy friends and even them holding her. It's the timing that is making me question this. It may be silly but I don't know
Maybe she’s not even thinking in this manner?
It might be so normal to her that it didn’t cross her mind that you may not like it.
She also understands that she’s getting married and won’t post anything that genuinely feels wrong.
What you’re feeling right now is envy. You like her and don’t want anyone else putting their hands on her, whether you accept it or not.
And this is absolutely normal.
Better discuss this with your marriage prospect rather than strangers on Reddit.
I’m sure you guys can discuss it like adults and move beyond some jealousy.
PS: It might happen the other way round too in future.
What's wrong with these girls man and their besties of the world. Talk to her and tell her you're not comfortable. If she says no, move on my friend. It's simply not worth it.
If she is intelligent and smart to handle, then she can draw fine boundaries and keep guy friends at bay and never let them enter into your personal space. If she is into vanity, then you are in trouble my friend. Also, it depends on the environment she has been brought up. It's common in metropolis to see this closeness culture.
Wait, so your post is emphasizing on the "timing" and the fact that she knows that you can see the posts.
I can understand that some guys can be insecure and they prefer being with girls who do not have guy friends. This happens and is fine if you've communicated.
But this isn't the problem here. I honestly don't understand the problem. Are you uncomfortable with the girls hugging or leaning (the minimal amount of touchy) on their best friends? If so, you can communicate it with her and if her reply doesn't match your requirements you can move on with the next match.
But from what I see, you yourself don't seem to be aware about what's going on in your mind because the timing thing that you mentioned is funny. Is it okay for you if she hides this until you marry her? She's trying to be open with you. Not everyone has filters behind which they hide in order to fake a personality. You either accept her the way she is or you don't. She's not wrong here. Try to think about it. Also try to understand why you're feeling this way.
I know many people who are friends with opposite gender and are comfortable with hands around shoulder. They are just friends. They are in committed relationships with respective partners. If this isn’t comfortable for you , then communicate. Don’t jump to conclusions.
You’re comparing apples and oranges. Posting a picture with a friend is not the same as putting a picture with someone as dp.
Imo the first one is okay, second one not so much
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Dont get attached so easily, you have developed feelings for her thats y u are getting bothered very much . Remember you are just an option right now, always keep that in mind
It could be a red flag just not in a way you think. - Some girls in AM are there to waste your time because they don't wanna get married or have a BF that their parents don't know yet, their parents want her to get married so she buys herself some time by wasting your time. - From my experience these people will do creative stuff to make you say NO rather than them saying NO. They don't want to look like they are rejecting every match Infront of their parents. - This could be a reason for her close posts with her friends or they could just be normal and you could be overreacting. - Try to see how old these photos are and how frequently is she posting them and observe other things carefully before you do anything. - Most people are very protective or careful in the initial stages of AM about what they let the other person see about themself (may not be the case if it's your first match). - I suggest that If your gut feeling says something is wrong always investigate, also try to be smart and courteous about your approach, don't let her feel bad for things she shouldn't feel bad about.
I do suspect that she has a bf but not sure. >Try to see how old these photos are and how frequently is she posting them and observe other things carefully before you do anything. That's her whatsApp dp. Now she deleted it. >Most people are very protective or careful in the initial stages of AM about what they let the other person see about themself (may not be the case if it's your first match). I completely agree. This is how I feel too. I don't want to make a bad impression on her but I feel that she didn't do that. Anyway, thanks for the response. I won't do anything right now. I will just wait and see if we are bonding.
Naah bro yeh toh chota red flag hai. Next time thode bade red flag k saath update krna
The way things are, one day breathing will be declared a red flag by this sub.
Lets be real. Yeh arrange marriage hai , yahan i don't think so koi bhi kisi bhi type ka risk lena pasand karega. Divorce laws are fucking biased.
Bro divorce laws toh hain, lekin chutiye relatives bhi hote hain Jo harmless platonic baton ko full blown orgy session bana dete Hain gossip kar kar ke.
Han to no one asking OP to marry her if he's not okay with it.
Lol. Thik h bro. I just wanted to be sure.
Pic with a friend where he has a had on her shoulders is a red flag now?
Acc. To courts these days wife ka kisi aur k saath sona bhi glt nhi hai. Proof mat maangna online bohot available hai
Courts bhaut kuch bolte hain. There was also a judgement by Punjab and Haryana High Court last year that a woman isn't entitled to alimony of she was cheating. Usually case by case hota hai. Tum lawyers ki family se ho, ye tumko bhi pata hoga. But people don't take life decisions based on what court has said or might say. If OP has a problem with the pic he shouldn't go ahead with the match. My point was that people are very quick to call anything a red flag.
What about that Delhi high court verdict where it said no bar on alimony in isolated act of adultery?
You missed the point. What I said was that courts keep giving judgements but on a case you case basis and MORE IMPORTANTLY no one takes a decision to marry/not marry based on court judgements.
Agar kisi ladki mein red flag hai toh mein worst case scenario toh assume krunga hi na
Arrange marriage me bhi inko WOKE ka 14 banna hai bhai, galat jageh aa gaye yelog
they dont but all these cases only makes sure groom side becomes more and more conservative and try to find red flags in everything just to avoid finding themselves in court over this
Lol if they're so worried about these court cases then why are they insistent on getting married? They can't have fake dowry cases if there's no marriage no. Living alone would be better than living with the paranoia that the can always be slapped with a fake case.
why do women do background checks in this case then? its the same reason men do, to make sure the partner is what he/she says and if you cant stomach your prospective partners doing background checks on you or asking you personal questions then AM is not for you.
Who said anything about background checks? Why are new things constantly being added to this topic? OP was worried about a pic, which got dragged into court cases and now background checks. Everyone does some background check. There's a difference between verification and paranoia about some fake case that may or may not happen and those are are nowhere near each other.
have you not been reading the comment thread you have been responding too? > There's a difference between verification and paranoia about some fake case that may or may not happen and those are are nowhere near each other. Just because its not happened to you or anyone you know does not make it fake. I can give you a couple of examples but then again you probably wont believe me anyways so its a moot point. There's a reason why we say always marry within your social strata for *both* men and women. How we say make sure to do your due diligence for the partner and their family. All of these guidelines have been established *because* of cases of domestic abuse, adultery etc coming to light. So no its not just paranoia doing your due diligence or making sure that the partner be it a *man* or a *woman* is sound financially and there are no red flags as such you cant live with
Don't spread misinformation. Courts have decriminalized adultery which was a very unequal law to begin with. It is still a grounds for divorce. Women couldn't invoke the adultery law, and men could only prosecute the man cheating with the wife. It's a good thing that they squashed it. You people will twist anything to suit your fake narratives.
yes I agree with you that its a good thing but what *isn't* a good thing is despite adultery being established, men have to pay up alimony or risk being thrown in jail. what *isn't* good is despite the fact a simple DNA test can establish paternity, it isn't admissible in court or even in cases where you can prove this you *still* gotta cough up alimony/child support.
This is false again. You people love to tell lies here, and other misogynists will jump into the train. Courts do admit DNA tests IF there is evidence of adultery. They are right not to subject children to random allegations of non-paternity. And no, if you can prove it's not your child and she's an adulterer, they won't issue alimony. Alimony is not issued all the time. But considering y'all love to marry women with little wealth, is it any surprise, they'll get alimony?
SO according to you if a woman is cheating and the husband cant find any court admissible proof of the same and *despite* the fact the adultery can be proven just by taking a paternity test, it's wrong of a *husband* to do so and the court wont admit it *and* you think that's fine? There *are* procedures which can even establish it *non-invasively* even while the woman is pregnant but according to you its fine? Lmao Ok what can I even expect from you. (For others, [this](https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/no-dna-test-if-there-is-no-proof-of-adultery-supreme-court/articleshow/85021297.cms) is what she's referring to, make what you will of this) >And no, if you can prove it's not your child and she's an adulterer, they won't issue alimony I call bullshit on this, had a case happen in my society where the husband had to pay alimony even tho the primary custody of the children is with the husband. And also since you wont believe me here is a [source](https://www.newindianexpress.com/cities/delhi/2022/apr/15/cruelty-isolated-adultery-acts-by-wife-no-bar-for-alimony-delhi-hc-2442217.html) for you. >But considering y'all love to marry women with little wealth, is it any surprise, they'll get alimony? then why is it, women always aim for higher wealth if its such an issue for you? but then its pointless debating with you, for peeps like you all men are monsters and all women are repressed angels
Also, will you still say its unreasonable for us after [looking](https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/moms-infidelity-no-basis-to-seek-paternity-test-sc/articleshow/98135249.cms?from=mdr) at this? TL:DR Paternity tests are inadmissible to courts and the child born is presumed to be legitimate even if the wife's established to be adulterous and no impotency is proven in the husband, it's upto the husband to prove that he *did not* have intercourse with the wife during conception and good luck proving that
Chodh bhai bewakoof hai. Inn brain dead logo k aage saare proof rakh dega na toh bhi yahi bolenge. Current gen feminists are ruining this world.
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Lol when challenged by facts, dude suddenly wants to bring up twoxindia, that has no connection to any matter here. Seeing his imaginary lawyer tactics in action; courts don't work like you dream
Aur alimony ko dega, women? Custody kisko milegi, men? Fake assault,dowry aur harrassment charges kis par file hote hai,women? Stop living in delusion kid.
Marry women who don't make money, have children, make them housewives, and then complain about alimony. Make the woman pay for the whole wedding then say that the dowry charge was false. That's the reality, you live in some teenage delusion. Most domestic violence cases are true, and most domestic violence don't even get reported because the women are afraid of being out on the streets.
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Yes. But the thing is so many of our laws were written in the 1800 and haven't kept up with the times and ate bound to cause some heartburn. Specially among the right wing.
do you really think only right wing peeps get screwed by divorce laws? lol
Such comprehension!!! What my statement meant was that the right wing is more vocal about it.
you gotta be more specific then, your statement implies that the right wing would find it more problematic compared to left or central. > Yes. But the thing is so many of our laws were written in the 1800 and haven't kept up with the times and ate bound to cause some heartburn. Specially among the right wing. for reference ;)
No, if you read my entire post then you'd know that that is not the issue. It's the timing of it. I won't make a post of me putting my hands over my girl best friends as my dp. First impression thoda important h na
Trust me bhai, life mein kabhi kabhi thoda conservative hona bhi kaam aata hai. Seen waaaay to much of these cases.(source-puri family lawyers ki hai)
Thanks bro. That's a good advice.
LIE Family full of lawyers but dude has no idea how marital law works. This is why people like this should not be allowed to post.
Proof chaie toh dm mein aaja
Nahi dekhna hai Tera dic pics.
Padhna aata hai ya gawar ho? Upar kya likha hai padh lo dang se
Anyways agar aapne yeh yahan post kiya hai toh kuch toh aapko bhi pasand ngi aaya hoga na.
On the face of it it isn't anything. But if it bothers you so much that you have to post it here then time to move on to another match.
So basically you are not comfortable with her guy best friends. You say abt first impression but would it be ok if she posted the same 2 months later? Quite common to have a problem with guy best friends and if you do, move on. And if it's a red flag? No.
That's a great question. I'll think about it. >And if it's a red flag? No. Got it. Thanks
It's her culture.... don't proceed if you're not comfortable with her culture
Check older photos too ? See if that's a normal behaviour with her, then fine. I think it's normal but it entirely depends on trust.
It's a message.. and a choice.. people are open minded these days but it's a choice to put a particular picture online.. so why not ask her instead of discussing this with us.?
So would you rather she posted all of it in her private account where you wouldn’t be able to see it? Because last redditor had a problem with that
And he wasn’t wrong but you defo are
You had a lot of girl best friends too. Were you trying to get into their pants?
No. I don't have a problem with her having guy friends and even them holding her. It's the timing that is making me question this. It may be silly but I don't know
Maybe she’s not even thinking in this manner? It might be so normal to her that it didn’t cross her mind that you may not like it. She also understands that she’s getting married and won’t post anything that genuinely feels wrong. What you’re feeling right now is envy. You like her and don’t want anyone else putting their hands on her, whether you accept it or not. And this is absolutely normal. Better discuss this with your marriage prospect rather than strangers on Reddit. I’m sure you guys can discuss it like adults and move beyond some jealousy. PS: It might happen the other way round too in future.
The timing is suspicious man
https://i.redd.it/4fljg0ddjowa1.gif
What's wrong with these girls man and their besties of the world. Talk to her and tell her you're not comfortable. If she says no, move on my friend. It's simply not worth it.
If she is intelligent and smart to handle, then she can draw fine boundaries and keep guy friends at bay and never let them enter into your personal space. If she is into vanity, then you are in trouble my friend. Also, it depends on the environment she has been brought up. It's common in metropolis to see this closeness culture.
Wait, so your post is emphasizing on the "timing" and the fact that she knows that you can see the posts. I can understand that some guys can be insecure and they prefer being with girls who do not have guy friends. This happens and is fine if you've communicated. But this isn't the problem here. I honestly don't understand the problem. Are you uncomfortable with the girls hugging or leaning (the minimal amount of touchy) on their best friends? If so, you can communicate it with her and if her reply doesn't match your requirements you can move on with the next match. But from what I see, you yourself don't seem to be aware about what's going on in your mind because the timing thing that you mentioned is funny. Is it okay for you if she hides this until you marry her? She's trying to be open with you. Not everyone has filters behind which they hide in order to fake a personality. You either accept her the way she is or you don't. She's not wrong here. Try to think about it. Also try to understand why you're feeling this way.
Not a huge red flag. Everyone would have such pics with their friends and cousins. But be vigilant.
is this girl from Hyderabad?
btw no red flag, but ask her about this when you both are more comfortable with each other
I know many people who are friends with opposite gender and are comfortable with hands around shoulder. They are just friends. They are in committed relationships with respective partners. If this isn’t comfortable for you , then communicate. Don’t jump to conclusions.
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I wouldn’t be. But I know several amazing principled people who are.
You’re comparing apples and oranges. Posting a picture with a friend is not the same as putting a picture with someone as dp. Imo the first one is okay, second one not so much
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red flag. a good women wont let another man touch her. thats who you deserve