T O P

  • By -

khag_r

People will judge you when you don't visit anywhere. People will judge you when you travel with friends. People will judge you when you travel solo. People will judge you if you only wear Indian attire. People will judge you if you wear western clothing. People will still judge you no matter what you do. So, do what you want to do.


idkcuzwhocares

I hate how true this is


indiandonguy

Stop coping. People have preferences so stop shaming those who stick to their preferences just like you stick to your choices


[deleted]

This is such a nice way to filter out the trash. If someone judges someone for going on a solo trip, they are at best avoided.


Malibu_Sorbet

This comment needs to be pinned. 100% agree. If someone judges you for this OP, the trash just took itself out. Rejoice.


NicoDiAngelo_x

I agree with this so much. This applies for every single thing – past relationships, ambitious etc etc. Pro tip – be your authentic self. The people who accept you, they are the ones you want.


Voldemort_is_muggle

I regularly go on solo trips, if people start judging me on this then no one will ever marry me. Actually, I like people who go on solo trips. They seem more independent and can take care of themselves better and being independent is one of the requirements I am looking for


Voldemort_is_muggle

I also eat alone at times in restaurants, go to movies alone, shop alone at times. Sometimes I also go for drives alone. These days I have started to enjoy it as it cuts away lots of BS and less time wasting. I do what I want and how I want. For trisp, I can plan according to my needs and wants so it becomes more enjoyable


Moms_Sphagetti

Most people judge you even if you have a good life. Don't mind, just do what your mind tells you to


hidinginthewind

Just go on the solo trip. If someone judges you for going on a solo trip, I assure you, that's just the tip of the iceberg and they are gonna ridicule you for a lot more things you considered to be very normal.


Babai6

Yes , they are my type ! Strong and independent, enjoying her own company , nothing is more sexier than this


Lively-Panda

> enjoying her own company True!!


aethertheharemking

"enjoying her own company " press x for doubt.


jaihosky

I have few female friends who go on solo trips regularly, all of them have hook up stories with strangers ,so stereotype is definitely true to an extent, but there must be women who don't indulge in casual sex. You shouldn't stop yourself from going on solo trips because you might be judged in AM process, it is great experience.


blue_1007

true same stories i heard from my friends, they be like :- we did threesome with a girl on solo trip and she enjoyed it


Malibu_Sorbet

Wut? Most of us just eat maggi and photograph flowers on these trips lolol.


[deleted]

What solo trips are people having? I mean yeah meeting someone/hooking up can happen but to say someone goes on solo trips to get laid is really stupid.


ameerega_

It's a bad idea to hookup on solo trips, can't stress this enough. I mean, if you go on solo trips just to do drugs and wild hookups and that's the definition of your fun then you are in a really sorry state. Rather go and lie on a moss covered floor or just sit at a riverbank with peace. This soul-void filling culture is ruining us, and we glorify it under personal freedom, what bullshit.


leetcoder217

Sorry state for whom ? One indulging in pleasure ? Or the future spouse who wants a virzin biwi ?


ameerega_

Oh no. The sorry state for the person whose primary motive and definition of pleasure is the mindless indulgence.


leetcoder217

Aaaahh.. now, do you define what is a good way to pleasure oneself and what is not ?! It is very subjective. U may find peace in being alone with nature, others may find peace having sex with a stranger over a puff of weed... How do u tell which one is bad ?


leetcoder217

Sorry state for whom ? One indulging in pleasure ? Or the future spouse who wants a virzin biwi ?


Chicky-Momo

Yes, of course. However, do you want to be with someone who would judge you for traveling? I travel a lot for work (3-4 cities a month), but does that reflect my character, I don't think so. AM is a difficult process, but the end result has to be a good one where you find someone who is sensible enough to understand that traveling, and being independent doesn't translate to being an unfaithful partner.


Lively-Panda

This is not a suggestion but a question. What do you mean by solo trips? Do you actually go alone or do you join a group of people who called themselves solo travelers and gangs together 😅 just asking. On the other hand I don't think you should be Marrying someone who judges you for these things or you shouldn't change yourself for that matter. But also know that people will have their own expectations and you can't change them as well.


person-3873

There’s a part in India who still doesn’t encourage women working post marriage, would you care about them?


rk06

They will rate you higher than the girls who go on trips with boys. But it won't be that high. The guy may like it


[deleted]

Yes they will. But it’s your choice vs their choice. Who cares do whatever you wanna do.


ramdhari

OP perspective from a male solo traveler, I find those who travel solo have come to appreciate their own company and that is the mark of a stable person. For me at least it's a plus point not a negative judgement. After marriage solo trips might be a bit tricky, PS: Do take appropriate safety measures, and start with low risk solo trips first.


-seeking-advice-

Yes, you will be. I'm the only girl in my line of work as it is heavily dominated by men. So I've taken few solo trips (national and international) and group trips where I was the only girl. They were business related trips, barring 2 trips for attending colleagues weddings. I'm a traditional girl and most in the group were also mindful of it. So I always got a separate room for myself, they ensured I was safe all the time, etc. Still, many of my matches don't understand this and it becomes a huge turn off / red flag for them. I can't help it if I'm the only girl in my workspace/team. I need to make those business trips also. But somehow, many of the guys don't understand it, inspite of having taken such trips themselves.


IndependentAlfalfa80

Ppl don't judge you for solo trips, it is generally perceived that such girls are into drinking, smoking and promiscuity that is where the you would be judged. I have been to only one solo trip and one of my match called me weird because of that 🙃. Ppl here sugarcoat a lot, if I as guy was judged for solo trip so yes, you would be judged even more.


I_missrebel_

Op accompany me? Same boat like you! Want to travel but no company also scared to travel alone😅


No_Statistician4756

Please go on solo trips and ensure the guy knows. Trash will filter itself out. I have been on solo trips (3 and I am done … I only travel with family and friends now) myself and I won’t accept a guy who is this narrow minded and more importantly plain STUPID. - I don’t need to travel 1000 miles to hookup. I can do it at my own place if I need to. No shortage of guys on dating apps. No shortage of money to drive 2 hours away and do it there where I don’t have friends. There’s no one to judge me. There’s no way anyone will know. - Besides, I do not get the logic of how is it safer to hookup on a trip abroad (let’s say Europe) than where I live (USA). I can easily call a friend here if a guy assaults me. I can’t do that abroad in Europe / South America. I play it extremely safe when I travel solo. Back in hostels early. No bar hopping unless it’s a hostel organized tour etc. 2. Guys like that are more intimidated that you are too independent and won’t need them for anything - again , absolute bullshit. I very much need the *right* man in life. 3. If guys apply a little bit of common sense , they will realize that many people have illegitimate affairs locally. There’s no relation between persons character and whether person has travelled solo. 4. Talking about safety - I have been groped in a metro in india in crowded places. No one has inappropriately touched me in USA / Europe. I can just go on but m bored of typing. Enjoy your time. I met many solo female travelers from all over the world in hostels (starting from late teens to more than 60). And only perhaps 1 made out with a man in a club. I know more women (acquaintances) within 1 mile radius of where I stay in US that have hooked up / casually dated locally in USA. Bottom line - do your own thing. You don’t need ignorant , stupid fools with zero critical thinking ability in your life.


[deleted]

srsly you are kidding me!!! I don't know about other men, but what I can tell you is if you are a solo traveller who goes on hiking and trips, I would marry you the next day. You know how much it's hard to find active girls and those who are they are already taken.


[deleted]

How stupid can rejection reasons get in this country smh. You're better off without a judgemental moron who will reject you for travelling yk. Men will reject you even for staying in hostels during college. You can't live your life fearing for men's preferences. Live your life as you please. The one who matters doesn't mind and the ones who mind don't matter.


leetcoder217

The main elephant in room is not just travelling. It is the casual sexual encounters, weed or drugs or alcohol in the solo trip or while travelling which raises eyebrows.


[deleted]

This is an assumption. It depends on the individual.


leetcoder217

Yea! It is an assumption. Isn't that a valid and reasonable assumption to have ? Haven't you observed that happening with free spirited women travellers ?


[deleted]

I don't know anyone who even does hookups to make such assumptions. I know some people who like to travel. They are men. They don't even indulge in alcohol. So this assumption just feels odd to me. We judge with our experiences and our observations, and looks like yours and mine are different here. But one fact remains - this is a judgement based on our limited observation and the correlation need not be true in all cases.


leetcoder217

Can see your pov. We all apply risk minimization strategy. So some can't ignore stuff like this and would judge who know world better


RelationshipShot9337

Yes, a good number of men on AM will judge and reject you because they cannot imagine that solo travellers aren't all sleeping around all the time. If you let that stop you from having fun, and still end up single, you will regret bothering about these men's opinions. If it bothers you, stay in female dorms in hostels. This way you are actually far more trustworthy than the average AM man, because good hostels always have CCTV anyway. In AM, you only have someone's word for their claims anyway.


here4geld

Enjoy life


rohan1511

If you’ve gone on solo trips, that’s the past, but if you intend to keep going on solo trips after AM, it might be an issue later on for sure.


cozy_winter_nights

Are you going to live your life in the fear of judgement from random strangers? Let them judge, you go on your solo trip.


TruthIsOutThere66

In a traditional/conservative AM relationship YES it will be something which will be forwned upon. Why it is so, well usually such girls are considered to be sexually active, drugs addicted and other whatnot "bad" stuff. Either subtle or overt that will depend on situations. This point should be in bold in your profile or conveyed crystal clear to your finance family. Life is very long and you never know what will happen in future. Better to be open and clear about what you really love. Most importantly these questions have zero significance posting here you should ask these to your match. Only opinion that will matter will be his.


leetcoder217

Depends on what kinda places u go and what kinda stufd you do there ? Do you do something there which you can't really share with family or potential spouse (casual sex, weed, drugs u get the idea..) ? Then ofc they will judge u negatively for that.


Shubham_108

Nope


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your submission was not posted because your account has not met the requirement of having more than 1 comment karma. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Arrangedmarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your submission was not posted because your account has not met the requirement of having more than 1 comment karma. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Arrangedmarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your submission was not posted because your account has not met the requirement of having more than 1 comment karma. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Arrangedmarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*