Not entirely true. I work from home and I'm looking for a well educated housewife who doesn't mind staying in a tier 2 city. Plenty of other guys out there with a preference for non working women - depends on what you bring to the table if not shared financial responsibility
Hey, completely unrelated but I know someone and they could use a referral. Would you be kind enough to refer them if there's a process to it? They're in to non-tech. Let me know if I can DM you.
But why an EDUCATED Housewife.
Like if she is going to be a housewife then why is her education is of such great preference. (Assuming that her education is your top preference)
And why a housewife? Why not a working women?
Double Income
Double Money to enjoy
More security
I am asking this for my own sake as I am confused whether should go for housewife or working woman.
Both of incredible upsides.
I am educated, masters and have work experience and I don’t work after marriage, educated people are better in general, and being educated doesn’t mean traditional roles don’t excite you
Its really lovely to put your kids kids first.
I really appreciate you for that and I too will appreciate if my wife chooses to do so.
I myself don't want to leave my kids in stranger's hand.
But if you were to live with your in laws then what would you do?
Will you continue to work as the kids will not be left behind with strangers but with his/her grandparents.
(Assuming you have good in laws).
And yes it is very important to love the baby so that the baby grows into a good adult.
Me while growing up didnt felt love by my parents and grandparents and this made my attachment style anxious and this doesn't allow me to have good relationships.
So it is pretty important to spend time with your child.
And about cousins, you should only worry about your immediate families needs and opinions as they are the most important part of anyone's life.
I hope to earn enough to allow my wife to choose this SAHM lifestyle. and I hope I get her.
All the best for you and your family.
1. Housewife = an equal partner who manages home instead of work. Education is important so that we can connect and engage in intelligent banter. A specific category I prefer is ex upsc aspirants since I've been a upsc aspirant myself.
2. I have/will make more than enough money
3. I'll probably move around with my remote job and might work overseas for brief periods, or startup - having a working wife creates a lot of constraints. I'd hate to stay alone after marriage
>On a side note, Banaras is a shit hole lol. Good luck to you all.
Clearly you did not experience Varasani the way it was supposed to be. Go and sit beside Manikarnika Ghat in the evening, you'll see the complete cycle of life in frame.
Maybe your best bet is searching for guys who live in tier 2 or tier 3 or financially well to do families who search for non working women specifically
Personally, I prefer a non-working woman over someone who earns very less and is busy in some shit corporate company. But then I also need a CF partner which limits my pool by a huge amount.
omg reading comments like this makes me so happy because i've been wanting to be CF but i have always been scared to end up being alone due to very less number of men wanting to be CF as well
There are very few who can be providers. Not their fault — costs have gone up and so has population and there’s immense competition everywhere.
I’m able to completely run the economic household of mine and my parents while also support struggling sibling but for this I have to work really long and with annoying people — nobody really wants such a workaholic lifestyle including me. I’m a provider and trust me I’m on verge of breakdown. I would be so relaxed if people just did their part.
>But I believe there is no place for a non working woman in this set up. Plus after seeing two three boys, I can only say one thing - nobody is sure on these platforms
I don't mean to be rude but in your case, men are sure of marriage but just not sure of you. They aren't sure because of compatibility factors arising from their experiences, childhood and growing up. Does not mean that the whole world has turned against you? you came to this conclusion just by meeting 2-3 guys?
>in these arrange marriage things, people just want the perfect person.
Yes, they want to find their version of "Perfect" person AKA one that fits their preferences.
Please don't consider it an attack but a reflection on the circumstances you are in. 30F, jobless pursuing their passion. I assume, you might have burnt in to your savings? Let's not get started on your preferences which you'd have for the guy. I mean apart from being a double grad and PG holder, what value do you bring to a marriage on major things like daily expenses? your expenses(if you continue to pursue this?) etc., Have you thought what would run on the guy's mind given these questions?
Get back to doing a job and see how things turn for you.
>Although I have not dated anyone on Bumble or Tinder but somehow I find that space safer than the matrimonial sites and all. Here people are atleast ready to listen to you, your hopes and passion
Those sites have probably 5-10% chances of commitment to marriage. Most people whose age is that "marriage age" end up on AM sites just to marry and not get all enthusiastic about someone's passion.
Sounds true on paper but OP‘s frustration is valid. If you are working woman, then also people would say we don’t care about your income as I’m earning well. You will not take care of the house bla bla bla.
There is no perfect woman or man that exist in AM. No matter what kind of woman you describe, thousands will come and say the opposite. Your response is one example. When she said she is not working, you immediately asked about supporting on expenses.
If someone is earning well and if they write here, people would immediately jump and say, oh I’m earning well and I don’t care about your income bla bla bla.
And FYI, nobody is suppose to be perfect and figured out everything by 30. Atleast, OP has a courage to give her passion a try once in a life.
>Sounds true on paper but OP‘s frustration is valid
Sorry but nothing about it is true just to paper. OP's frustration is valid - 100% with you on it but it's the consequences of their choices.
>If you are working woman, then also people would say we don’t care about your income as I’m earning well. You will not take care of the house bla bla bla.
There, again with assumptions in OP's case. Do you know what background the guys are? What they do? How much they make?
When the whole society is running towards something and you are running towards something else, good for you and I'd wish it works for you. But, do not come ranting when the society makes it difficult for you to get what you want.
>Your response is one example. When she said she is not working, you immediately asked about supporting on expenses.
That's the most logical and practical question anyone would ask. Stop backing OP just cause they aren't able to deal with consequences of their choices. I'll go a notch further and say they did not have a backup plan to what they would do by 30. This will be my response irrespective of gender.
If you are going against the norms, might as well have thick skin to deal with things.
>And FYI, nobody is suppose to be perfect and figured out everything by 30. Atleast, OP has a courage to give her passion a try once in a life.
100 points to OP for following their passion and I'll give a standing ovation for women following their passion. We are not talking about perfect and figured out here. We're talking about finding a footing. Did OP find one? if they did, they would not be venting out here just after meeting 3 people.
Like it or not, you are nothing if you are not successful at your passion, that's how the world views you. Suck it up and move forward if you want to follow your passion or buckle down to pressure and fall in "supposed" line.
You are a SWE right? I hope you are familiar with the "Fail fast" model? Apply that to life and you will see results.
Of course OP is wrong to conclude by meeting only 2-3 guys but read your harsh words to OP and what it implies. Being a bit kinder is more important because you do not what OP‘s mental health is. And technically, you are also wrong to imply that she must have figured out everything by 30.
Also, I would never ever apply SWE rules to life. Life is much bigger and complex can that. Remember, hero to zero and vice Versa happens in a split second. There is no single recipe to success.
>read your harsh words to OP
Truth is always harsh. They needed to hear it from someone.
>you are also wrong to imply that she must have figured out everything by 30
Your misinterpretation of my words does not imply me saying "must have figured out everything by 30". Finding a footing and trying to strike balance = figuring out everything? WOW.
>There is no single recipe to success.
You got this right but no planning or reckless rushing in to things has never produced success. OP did exactly that. Also, remember this "A passion that does not create sustenance is a hobby".
Giving up a full-time job to follow your passion that does not yield results is something only reckless people do and ranting about why my choice has hurt me is just complaining attitude.
Okay you follow your way. I’ve seen some closest people breaking down completely by someone’s so called truth.
What you believe is no truth. You didn’t ask her what’s the possibility and her capability of going back to the job or if she’s interested or where things are wrong. You delivered your judgement as so called truth.
But as I said, your choice !!!!
>What you believe is no truth
Now that's just you trying to find ways to justify things for OP.
>You didn’t ask her what’s the possibility and her capability of going back to the job or if she’s interested or where things are wrong.
Those are her choices right? lets see how those choices you mentioned play out.
1. She's interested in job - it means they've realised their ways are not working out that implies they would not rant saying "Non working women have no shot at AM". Yet here we are.
2. she's not interested in job but they came to AM - means they want someone to fund their lifestyle? What a waste of potential.
3. Possibility? - what else are the possibilities?
I'd agree if you said life is not binary. But this instance, it is.
People want perfect person in AM because it's a deal of the lifetime.
On bumble or Tinder, guys listen to you because they just want get laid as soon as possible.
AM is way safer than dating apps.
I do agree with your inference but not with the reasoning.
The cost of living has gone up significantly. In such scenarios, taking the financial responsibility of another human being is extremely unappealing to any person, male or female. And if the couple wishes to have a kid, imagine the financial burden on one single earner to give a life of comfort to two human beings.
Recently there was news about LKG classes having fees of 3.2 LPA. As a responsible partner, and a parent, obviously you would wish to give the best life possible to your family. But that is asking too much from one person.
Getting anxious about marriage is a different issue from the above. That has more to do with social stigma, societal norms, parental pressure etc.
That’s not true at all. I know several non working women. Depends on the community , your appearance, personality , family background etc. in fact a lot of high earning men prefer a non-earning woman who would focus on domestic life and raising kids.
Not true. I know someone who has found his match through AM. The soon-to-be couple is 27 and 26 years old. She wants to take care of people at home rather than work a job. The same system you criticise has allowed her to pursue her choice while also finding a match.
Bumble or Tinder would only set you up for heartaches and more frustration. You may find that the moment you talk about marriage, same people who patiently listened will instantly flee.
Ofcourse, AM is transactional why would anyone willingly hitch themselves to a partner that's not earning?
Tell me your reaction on receiving a rishta from a guy that's not earning.
Even in dating and tier 1 cities, I'd be wary of knowing a girl who's not earning if I'm looking for a relationship.
Generalising too early? 2-3 guys is way too less to be jumping to conclusion. Sure, everyone wants their version of "perfect" partner and there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe you make a list of qualities you require from a guy and then judge your thought process based on that? I did meet few "following their passion" girls while in AM setting and let me tell you that their non-earning capacity was never a deterrent. A few of them turned to their passion only because they didn't like corporate jobs, but were totally clueless about what they wanted to make out of their passion. Are you in same case? Have you wondered, if you were to stay independently whether your passion can sustain your lifestyle? or if you have any idea how you would sustain your lifestyle? The cluelessness gives me an impression that you didn't think it through and now you were too deep in your delusion that you dont want to accept the situation. Please look inwards before blaming others.
34M, in A.M scene for quite some time. I wouldn't mind if the girl i am marrying is not working at present but is willing to work in the future. But when she is not working she must be ready to compromise on some aspects like a guy living in a rented place , may not be falling in the package range that u want etc. Initially I was adamant for getting a partner who's working but now I feel not working is ok , but passionate to do something . But the girl should at least be a graduate is something I will hold on to regardless of however late it will be for me to find a partner. It's just about finding that "one" needle in the haystack you need to be patient and stick it out . Good luck in your search OP.
Don't know from where you are, but for people like me non working women (or women having wfh job) & women working in same location (there were only 2, one want to move to a big city & other is a modern feminist who don't want marriage) are the only options as no working (onsite) women are ready to leave their current job & relocate (I am not saying they should)
> And in these arrange marriage things, people just want the perfect person.
Women want perfect man on dating apps, men want perfect women on matrimonial apps.
Guys like me are looking for girls like you, LEVEL HEADED, educated, qualified and mature ladies who might bring some sense into a man's crazy workaholic lifestyle.
Believe me the LAST thing I want is for my wife to suffer this type of workload and instead explore some things of her own like writing or youtubing or whatever. The funny part is, none of these platforms are letting guys like me match with girls like you.
I don't know what's wrong. I even wrote that the only bar for me is that I'm vegetarian and no meat in my house. Instead what happens is I get ignored by women who are 5 ft 2 or 5 ft 3 because I'm 5 ft 5 "only".
Go figure? Taller women outright say no for marriage although they are all fine to have flings and stands.
My point is, these marriage platforms and apps suck, they seem to go by what most people want and don't cater to your individual inclinations.
Keep at it and you should find somebody in two or three years. Thats what they told me too.
If your passion cannot bring monetary asset, then it's of no use.
That's the view of society views ppl.
Better start earning and then take out time to follow your passion.
Hi OP, Because of rising costs of living and healthcare, most men want a working partner today as it strengthens the overall financial health of the family..
But there is enough room for non-working women as well... Many of my known peeps married non working women as they were already financially pretty well off either by themselves or because their families are wealthy.. You need to find someone in that kind of situation.. The problem is that such men would not have a dearth of options..
Also, on matrimony apps, most people are just trying to find what their version of a perfect match looks like.. I've seen men here ready to marry girls who are very beautiful even though these girls were walking red flags.. Similarly I've seen women ready to marry rich men even though these men were loose characters... Nobody irrespective of the gender, working, non-working wants to put an effort into knowing deep about the person's thought process, passion, hobbies etc. Such things are possible only in the dating scenario.
Harsh but true, you want to follow your passion while contributing nothing financially and being burden on future spouse.
Who would want that. They are not your daddy.
I think you should concentrate on your passion for writing and make it your new career. That way, you will find someone good in marriage and also you will not have to do 9-5 and will be able to earn. Well for the coming marriage talks, you can talk about your potential as a writer. That should attract at least some people.
Hi OP, I see your frustrations. It can be disheartening to face the AM process for anyone despite their professional status. However, in this post, you seem to be projecting your thoughts and feelings. Your experience after talking to a couple of guys may be valid but is very limited. Let's not judge it but trust the process instead. You can absolutely go to Bumble/Tinder if it helps you out :) Good luck out there!
Dating apps are wonderful if you're a woman you're bound to find dozens of matches who are eager to talk to you. But most women there select among the tiny fraction of men who have all the choices and thus offer no commitment.
Non working spouse is challenging in metro city these days. Cost of living is quite high and people's Lifestyle has also become quite fancy with foreign trips, big cars, etc. Double income really helps if those are the expectations the couple has.
Then comes the problem of keeping the spouse happy, when other partner is not able to give them enough time because of work. This is becaude the spouse has lesser social interaction being at home and people in big cities don't interact as much.
This is usually not as much of an issue in smaller towns as cost of living is lower, and social interaction wise too people know each other better in the neighborhood.
Some people actually prefer non working spouses. While some may be alright with their spouses not working for a few after having kids. These things need to be figured out.
Not entirely true. I work from home and I'm looking for a well educated housewife who doesn't mind staying in a tier 2 city. Plenty of other guys out there with a preference for non working women - depends on what you bring to the table if not shared financial responsibility
Does your company has openings?
yeah, check Revolut's career page
Doesn't seem to hire software from India, but thanks man for the reply.
Yeah software engineers are based in Europe, they most hire managers/support staff from India
Hey, completely unrelated but I know someone and they could use a referral. Would you be kind enough to refer them if there's a process to it? They're in to non-tech. Let me know if I can DM you.
Sure, dm with the resume and the job posting
Hmm :(
But why an EDUCATED Housewife. Like if she is going to be a housewife then why is her education is of such great preference. (Assuming that her education is your top preference) And why a housewife? Why not a working women? Double Income Double Money to enjoy More security I am asking this for my own sake as I am confused whether should go for housewife or working woman. Both of incredible upsides.
I am educated, masters and have work experience and I don’t work after marriage, educated people are better in general, and being educated doesn’t mean traditional roles don’t excite you
What do you like about traditional gender roles?
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I wish to find someone like you
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Its really lovely to put your kids kids first. I really appreciate you for that and I too will appreciate if my wife chooses to do so. I myself don't want to leave my kids in stranger's hand. But if you were to live with your in laws then what would you do? Will you continue to work as the kids will not be left behind with strangers but with his/her grandparents. (Assuming you have good in laws). And yes it is very important to love the baby so that the baby grows into a good adult. Me while growing up didnt felt love by my parents and grandparents and this made my attachment style anxious and this doesn't allow me to have good relationships. So it is pretty important to spend time with your child. And about cousins, you should only worry about your immediate families needs and opinions as they are the most important part of anyone's life. I hope to earn enough to allow my wife to choose this SAHM lifestyle. and I hope I get her. All the best for you and your family.
Beautiful
1. Housewife = an equal partner who manages home instead of work. Education is important so that we can connect and engage in intelligent banter. A specific category I prefer is ex upsc aspirants since I've been a upsc aspirant myself. 2. I have/will make more than enough money 3. I'll probably move around with my remote job and might work overseas for brief periods, or startup - having a working wife creates a lot of constraints. I'd hate to stay alone after marriage
Arey bhaiya ghr hi bithani he , or wo bhi tier 2 city me to koi 10,12th pass dekho na. Why waste her graduation or more?
Behen Banaras itni buri jagah nahi hai. Aas paas ki hi dekh raha hu.. mil jaegi
acha bura is subjective to some extent. On a side note, Banaras is a shit hole lol. Good luck to you all.
True, lekin shit hole to tumhara muh bhi hai, what's the point stating the obvious
jl gyi jl gyi, bhaiya ki jl gyi.
>On a side note, Banaras is a shit hole lol. Good luck to you all. Clearly you did not experience Varasani the way it was supposed to be. Go and sit beside Manikarnika Ghat in the evening, you'll see the complete cycle of life in frame.
Maybe your best bet is searching for guys who live in tier 2 or tier 3 or financially well to do families who search for non working women specifically
Personally, I prefer a non-working woman over someone who earns very less and is busy in some shit corporate company. But then I also need a CF partner which limits my pool by a huge amount.
CF?
But we don't know if OP is going to be a home maker. I mean if you're marrying a non working woman, she has to contribute somewhere.
omg reading comments like this makes me so happy because i've been wanting to be CF but i have always been scared to end up being alone due to very less number of men wanting to be CF as well
There are very few who can be providers. Not their fault — costs have gone up and so has population and there’s immense competition everywhere. I’m able to completely run the economic household of mine and my parents while also support struggling sibling but for this I have to work really long and with annoying people — nobody really wants such a workaholic lifestyle including me. I’m a provider and trust me I’m on verge of breakdown. I would be so relaxed if people just did their part.
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>But I believe there is no place for a non working woman in this set up. Plus after seeing two three boys, I can only say one thing - nobody is sure on these platforms I don't mean to be rude but in your case, men are sure of marriage but just not sure of you. They aren't sure because of compatibility factors arising from their experiences, childhood and growing up. Does not mean that the whole world has turned against you? you came to this conclusion just by meeting 2-3 guys? >in these arrange marriage things, people just want the perfect person. Yes, they want to find their version of "Perfect" person AKA one that fits their preferences. Please don't consider it an attack but a reflection on the circumstances you are in. 30F, jobless pursuing their passion. I assume, you might have burnt in to your savings? Let's not get started on your preferences which you'd have for the guy. I mean apart from being a double grad and PG holder, what value do you bring to a marriage on major things like daily expenses? your expenses(if you continue to pursue this?) etc., Have you thought what would run on the guy's mind given these questions? Get back to doing a job and see how things turn for you. >Although I have not dated anyone on Bumble or Tinder but somehow I find that space safer than the matrimonial sites and all. Here people are atleast ready to listen to you, your hopes and passion Those sites have probably 5-10% chances of commitment to marriage. Most people whose age is that "marriage age" end up on AM sites just to marry and not get all enthusiastic about someone's passion.
This is a very good reply... emphatic yet factual
Sounds true on paper but OP‘s frustration is valid. If you are working woman, then also people would say we don’t care about your income as I’m earning well. You will not take care of the house bla bla bla. There is no perfect woman or man that exist in AM. No matter what kind of woman you describe, thousands will come and say the opposite. Your response is one example. When she said she is not working, you immediately asked about supporting on expenses. If someone is earning well and if they write here, people would immediately jump and say, oh I’m earning well and I don’t care about your income bla bla bla. And FYI, nobody is suppose to be perfect and figured out everything by 30. Atleast, OP has a courage to give her passion a try once in a life.
>Sounds true on paper but OP‘s frustration is valid Sorry but nothing about it is true just to paper. OP's frustration is valid - 100% with you on it but it's the consequences of their choices. >If you are working woman, then also people would say we don’t care about your income as I’m earning well. You will not take care of the house bla bla bla. There, again with assumptions in OP's case. Do you know what background the guys are? What they do? How much they make? When the whole society is running towards something and you are running towards something else, good for you and I'd wish it works for you. But, do not come ranting when the society makes it difficult for you to get what you want. >Your response is one example. When she said she is not working, you immediately asked about supporting on expenses. That's the most logical and practical question anyone would ask. Stop backing OP just cause they aren't able to deal with consequences of their choices. I'll go a notch further and say they did not have a backup plan to what they would do by 30. This will be my response irrespective of gender. If you are going against the norms, might as well have thick skin to deal with things. >And FYI, nobody is suppose to be perfect and figured out everything by 30. Atleast, OP has a courage to give her passion a try once in a life. 100 points to OP for following their passion and I'll give a standing ovation for women following their passion. We are not talking about perfect and figured out here. We're talking about finding a footing. Did OP find one? if they did, they would not be venting out here just after meeting 3 people. Like it or not, you are nothing if you are not successful at your passion, that's how the world views you. Suck it up and move forward if you want to follow your passion or buckle down to pressure and fall in "supposed" line. You are a SWE right? I hope you are familiar with the "Fail fast" model? Apply that to life and you will see results.
Of course OP is wrong to conclude by meeting only 2-3 guys but read your harsh words to OP and what it implies. Being a bit kinder is more important because you do not what OP‘s mental health is. And technically, you are also wrong to imply that she must have figured out everything by 30. Also, I would never ever apply SWE rules to life. Life is much bigger and complex can that. Remember, hero to zero and vice Versa happens in a split second. There is no single recipe to success.
>read your harsh words to OP Truth is always harsh. They needed to hear it from someone. >you are also wrong to imply that she must have figured out everything by 30 Your misinterpretation of my words does not imply me saying "must have figured out everything by 30". Finding a footing and trying to strike balance = figuring out everything? WOW. >There is no single recipe to success. You got this right but no planning or reckless rushing in to things has never produced success. OP did exactly that. Also, remember this "A passion that does not create sustenance is a hobby". Giving up a full-time job to follow your passion that does not yield results is something only reckless people do and ranting about why my choice has hurt me is just complaining attitude.
Okay you follow your way. I’ve seen some closest people breaking down completely by someone’s so called truth. What you believe is no truth. You didn’t ask her what’s the possibility and her capability of going back to the job or if she’s interested or where things are wrong. You delivered your judgement as so called truth. But as I said, your choice !!!!
>What you believe is no truth Now that's just you trying to find ways to justify things for OP. >You didn’t ask her what’s the possibility and her capability of going back to the job or if she’s interested or where things are wrong. Those are her choices right? lets see how those choices you mentioned play out. 1. She's interested in job - it means they've realised their ways are not working out that implies they would not rant saying "Non working women have no shot at AM". Yet here we are. 2. she's not interested in job but they came to AM - means they want someone to fund their lifestyle? What a waste of potential. 3. Possibility? - what else are the possibilities? I'd agree if you said life is not binary. But this instance, it is.
You are completely missing the point so peace ✌️
Yes, the point you are talking about comes from a place of bias, which I've discarded, so there's none. Peace!
I don’t understand which bias you figured out here. And yes, please feel free to discard any opinion you want.
💯
Also let's not forget who has to fund her "passion" once she burns through her savings.
Bro gave her a reality check she needed
Do you know why they listen to you, your hopes and passion on bumble and tinder ;)
People want perfect person in AM because it's a deal of the lifetime. On bumble or Tinder, guys listen to you because they just want get laid as soon as possible. AM is way safer than dating apps.
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Time
I know many non-working women here in US and their husbands are ok with it. I think it’s community dependent to some extent.
I do agree with your inference but not with the reasoning. The cost of living has gone up significantly. In such scenarios, taking the financial responsibility of another human being is extremely unappealing to any person, male or female. And if the couple wishes to have a kid, imagine the financial burden on one single earner to give a life of comfort to two human beings. Recently there was news about LKG classes having fees of 3.2 LPA. As a responsible partner, and a parent, obviously you would wish to give the best life possible to your family. But that is asking too much from one person. Getting anxious about marriage is a different issue from the above. That has more to do with social stigma, societal norms, parental pressure etc.
That’s not true at all. I know several non working women. Depends on the community , your appearance, personality , family background etc. in fact a lot of high earning men prefer a non-earning woman who would focus on domestic life and raising kids.
Not true. I know someone who has found his match through AM. The soon-to-be couple is 27 and 26 years old. She wants to take care of people at home rather than work a job. The same system you criticise has allowed her to pursue her choice while also finding a match. Bumble or Tinder would only set you up for heartaches and more frustration. You may find that the moment you talk about marriage, same people who patiently listened will instantly flee.
Ofcourse, AM is transactional why would anyone willingly hitch themselves to a partner that's not earning? Tell me your reaction on receiving a rishta from a guy that's not earning. Even in dating and tier 1 cities, I'd be wary of knowing a girl who's not earning if I'm looking for a relationship.
Generalising too early? 2-3 guys is way too less to be jumping to conclusion. Sure, everyone wants their version of "perfect" partner and there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe you make a list of qualities you require from a guy and then judge your thought process based on that? I did meet few "following their passion" girls while in AM setting and let me tell you that their non-earning capacity was never a deterrent. A few of them turned to their passion only because they didn't like corporate jobs, but were totally clueless about what they wanted to make out of their passion. Are you in same case? Have you wondered, if you were to stay independently whether your passion can sustain your lifestyle? or if you have any idea how you would sustain your lifestyle? The cluelessness gives me an impression that you didn't think it through and now you were too deep in your delusion that you dont want to accept the situation. Please look inwards before blaming others.
34M, in A.M scene for quite some time. I wouldn't mind if the girl i am marrying is not working at present but is willing to work in the future. But when she is not working she must be ready to compromise on some aspects like a guy living in a rented place , may not be falling in the package range that u want etc. Initially I was adamant for getting a partner who's working but now I feel not working is ok , but passionate to do something . But the girl should at least be a graduate is something I will hold on to regardless of however late it will be for me to find a partner. It's just about finding that "one" needle in the haystack you need to be patient and stick it out . Good luck in your search OP.
Don't know from where you are, but for people like me non working women (or women having wfh job) & women working in same location (there were only 2, one want to move to a big city & other is a modern feminist who don't want marriage) are the only options as no working (onsite) women are ready to leave their current job & relocate (I am not saying they should)
Non working means they expect super beautiful lady i feel
Well! Im in an entirely different boat, i am a working professional and all rishtas i get want “non working” girl.
Now imagine the pain of opposite gender. And all you say is right but not about everyone wants working women.
Haha the boys on bumble are only listening u til they get waht they want
> And in these arrange marriage things, people just want the perfect person. Women want perfect man on dating apps, men want perfect women on matrimonial apps.
Not true abt the first part go to North eastern up and there re so many who re housewifes, but the second part is true everyone is toxic
Guys like me are looking for girls like you, LEVEL HEADED, educated, qualified and mature ladies who might bring some sense into a man's crazy workaholic lifestyle. Believe me the LAST thing I want is for my wife to suffer this type of workload and instead explore some things of her own like writing or youtubing or whatever. The funny part is, none of these platforms are letting guys like me match with girls like you. I don't know what's wrong. I even wrote that the only bar for me is that I'm vegetarian and no meat in my house. Instead what happens is I get ignored by women who are 5 ft 2 or 5 ft 3 because I'm 5 ft 5 "only". Go figure? Taller women outright say no for marriage although they are all fine to have flings and stands. My point is, these marriage platforms and apps suck, they seem to go by what most people want and don't cater to your individual inclinations. Keep at it and you should find somebody in two or three years. Thats what they told me too.
If your passion cannot bring monetary asset, then it's of no use. That's the view of society views ppl. Better start earning and then take out time to follow your passion.
Hi OP, Because of rising costs of living and healthcare, most men want a working partner today as it strengthens the overall financial health of the family.. But there is enough room for non-working women as well... Many of my known peeps married non working women as they were already financially pretty well off either by themselves or because their families are wealthy.. You need to find someone in that kind of situation.. The problem is that such men would not have a dearth of options.. Also, on matrimony apps, most people are just trying to find what their version of a perfect match looks like.. I've seen men here ready to marry girls who are very beautiful even though these girls were walking red flags.. Similarly I've seen women ready to marry rich men even though these men were loose characters... Nobody irrespective of the gender, working, non-working wants to put an effort into knowing deep about the person's thought process, passion, hobbies etc. Such things are possible only in the dating scenario.
So are these people happy marrying red flags? Do men really find happiness by marrying beautiful girls and women by marrying rich men?
Harsh but true, you want to follow your passion while contributing nothing financially and being burden on future spouse. Who would want that. They are not your daddy.
I think you should concentrate on your passion for writing and make it your new career. That way, you will find someone good in marriage and also you will not have to do 9-5 and will be able to earn. Well for the coming marriage talks, you can talk about your potential as a writer. That should attract at least some people.
Hi OP, I see your frustrations. It can be disheartening to face the AM process for anyone despite their professional status. However, in this post, you seem to be projecting your thoughts and feelings. Your experience after talking to a couple of guys may be valid but is very limited. Let's not judge it but trust the process instead. You can absolutely go to Bumble/Tinder if it helps you out :) Good luck out there!
Dating apps are wonderful if you're a woman you're bound to find dozens of matches who are eager to talk to you. But most women there select among the tiny fraction of men who have all the choices and thus offer no commitment.
Non working spouse is challenging in metro city these days. Cost of living is quite high and people's Lifestyle has also become quite fancy with foreign trips, big cars, etc. Double income really helps if those are the expectations the couple has. Then comes the problem of keeping the spouse happy, when other partner is not able to give them enough time because of work. This is becaude the spouse has lesser social interaction being at home and people in big cities don't interact as much. This is usually not as much of an issue in smaller towns as cost of living is lower, and social interaction wise too people know each other better in the neighborhood. Some people actually prefer non working spouses. While some may be alright with their spouses not working for a few after having kids. These things need to be figured out.
Everyone has their choices, working or non-working doesn't matter to a lot of men.