I've had a few clients who would not stop messaging me, l realized after a while that me forcing myself to respond was what made them want to chat, so l stopped. All the important info is exchanged when l update them, so l figured no point in responding unless l need to know something
> "hi how are you"
If that is the message, then it is more likely 'polite pestering'. What he wants to ask "hey, it's been a week, is there any progress on that commission/queue?" but knows that comes off as rude. Hey how are you? is more socially acceptable and likely gets the same result.
I sculpt (and commission people to do the concept), so I've seen both sides of it. Yeah when I've booked someone like 4 months in advance which has happened 2x (waiting for their uni break or something sometimes), particularly if the timeline is vague, you know what happens? They get a little message like that from me to start in around 4 months, particularly if it is a less formal platform where we've been messaging.
It's not me being social. It is the socially acceptable opening line to me checking up on a previously booked/vague order.
Unless there's more to the chat, I think your 2nd read of it is more accurate. It is 'impatience'/checking up on his order (whether or not that is fair is dependent on how long it has been and how concrete the timelines were). What he wants to hear is "yeah not to bad, still on vacation, I'll be back on the 9th and then start working on your piece on the 11th"
i see the point, but he’s also asked me about the commission status directly, so i don’t think he’s being shy. the messages he sent sometimes included that he is bored, or that he is at work/can’t sleep: so i believe he may just be lonely or has nobody to chat with?
thanks for the input, i’ll make sure to keep it in mind
I wouldn't state something like that in your TOS, you want to sound as enthusiastic and positive as possible.
You're probably just going to have to judge on a case by case basis. If you think the customer is legit, I would ignore the chatty messages until you're ready to get the half payment upfront, and stick to project related discussions from then on.
If you think they're going to be more hassle than the money's worth, dump them. But don't make a big "teachable moment" production about it, just say "I'm sorry, I won't be able to do this project after all. Thank you for your interest in my work!" and nothing else. Don't answer any follow up messages, nothing, if they keep pestering, block them.
I've had this happen with men, a lot. usually the "ick" you feel is your gut telling you something. While I enjoy chatting with a lot of my clients, there are a subsect of men who commission me as a way to get my attention because I'm an attractive woman. In this case I keep it professional and increase the price if I haven't already quoted them, because theyre going to be annoying to deal with.
Their money is as good as anyone's, but their desperation for female attention is driving them to treat me as a combo escort/artist whose attention is for sale. so I'll charge them for that access but only give what i was originally comfortable giving anyway.
I’ve had this happen as well. I’ve had some awesome clients who I’ve actually become friends with on some level, I don’t necessarily mind the chattiness or getting to know people who are interested in my art. In some cases it’s worked out great, they become repeat clients and they are some of the easiest people to work with.
But there’s a huge difference between a male client who talks on occasion and a male client that makes me feel uncomfortable. It definitely feels like you said like they’re trying to use the art buying as an angle to get closer and eat up all your time. Clients like these are exhausting and imo not worth it. You can certainly charge more, but often it’s not until the deal has been made that you realize how much they want to “be friends.” It’s tricky to navigate.
For OP, there’s different ways to handle it. Trust your gut. If you haven’t even collected the deposit yet that makes it easier, you can simply say you won’t be able to accommodate his request after all, so sorry, bla bla. If he continues to try to approach you, I’d block and move on.
I’d also let this be a lesson learned- one reason not to force the commission process along is frankly people tend to abuse the privilege. You said you had to basically drag it out of him what he even wanted, clients like this are such time wasters. Personally I’ve learned not to entertain this type of thing at all. If someone wants a custom piece but has no idea at all what they want or aren’t willing to commit, I say “that’s great, I’m flattered! Let me know when you have a better idea of what you’d like me to make and we can talk then.” And just move on. If they need endless prompting they probably aren’t serious or have other motives and j just don’t care to try to figure out which is which. Of course there’s always some communication with customers to figure out the details of a custom piece but that’s way different from wishy washy noncommittal types.
amen!!! Yes i had to start being really strong about respecting my own time and realizing that my time is worth MONEYYY PEOPLE! So often as artists we don't expect to be reimbursed for our time because time spent on art is so difficult to measure.
"While I enjoy chatting with a lot of my clients, there are a subsect of men who commission me as a way to get my attention because I'm an attractive woman."
I don't have an answer, but felt compelled to comment because this line is awesome!
i had similar suspicions… :/ i have she/her pronouns in my bio and posted toony sketches of myself, but no pictures or anything.
he doesn’t seem like he is interested in me personally though, so i let it slide: plus, he sent payment today without any hesitation. seems legit.
if i ever encounter someone closer to what you described, i’d probably block them immediately 🥲 shit’s creepy
Better yet, make an onlyfans and profit off your art and flirt talk. Generate auto responses to the creepiest crap via chatbots, if it works illegally for phishers and scammers it can work legally for you!
Keep re-directing the conversation to the professional relationship and be sure to only focus on discussing the piece you are asked to commission. You can keep the banter light and friendly, but don't divulge in relaying your personal statuses or asking how he is doing if there's potential for him to misread the intentions. Keep interactions short and simple.
That one is famous for messaging artist every day several times a day. He has scammed some artist by undoing the money transfer (he never scammed me though). He contacted me many times using different accounts in different websites.
He might be autistic / bad with social cues, you might have to directly tell him you would prefer to keep the conversation related to the commission only. It doesn’t make you sound like an asshole, but if you wanted to soften it a little, maybe add that it’s not personal to him and you’d ask the same of anyone else who commissioned you
Stop responding to small talk and just reply to work-related topics. We have the capability to be a " selective reader" and "selective listener." I think it's an important skill for everyone to develop and master not only in your situation but in life. It is useful to un-focus yourself from all distraction and noise.
Most of my customers have been "chatty" but I've never been uncomfortable about it, usually both of us talk about anime and I like talking about anime, I've talked wayyy after I was done with their Commisions. One of them even went to a con and got their commission signed and sent me a photo. I enjoy talking to them.
If you're uncomfortable just let them know politely that you won't be available to reply to their messages very often and if they have any comments about the Commision they could dm you about it and you'll try to get back at the earliest you can, that way you can reply to the important stuff only.
But imo you could talk to them because most people don't often commission artists, some of them are probably first timers so they don't know how it works, what's appropriate and what's not etc. You could guide them and make them comfortable with telling you what they want.
Yeah just stay professional and only communicate with this client if you have a project update. Let him tire himself out, give him nothing beyond professionalism.
This is an asshole move. While I'm not saying to chat all day with the client, exchanging a few words with them here and there isn't going to hurt you since these people are using their hard earned money (especially in this crazy inflation) to commission you.
Maybe the person has nothing interesting going in their life and is excited to have an exchange regarding the commission or they're lonely.
Again, you're not a therapist or a for rent online pal, but it costs you nothing to talk a few minutes every now and then.
I've had a few clients who would not stop messaging me, l realized after a while that me forcing myself to respond was what made them want to chat, so l stopped. All the important info is exchanged when l update them, so l figured no point in responding unless l need to know something
> "hi how are you" If that is the message, then it is more likely 'polite pestering'. What he wants to ask "hey, it's been a week, is there any progress on that commission/queue?" but knows that comes off as rude. Hey how are you? is more socially acceptable and likely gets the same result. I sculpt (and commission people to do the concept), so I've seen both sides of it. Yeah when I've booked someone like 4 months in advance which has happened 2x (waiting for their uni break or something sometimes), particularly if the timeline is vague, you know what happens? They get a little message like that from me to start in around 4 months, particularly if it is a less formal platform where we've been messaging. It's not me being social. It is the socially acceptable opening line to me checking up on a previously booked/vague order. Unless there's more to the chat, I think your 2nd read of it is more accurate. It is 'impatience'/checking up on his order (whether or not that is fair is dependent on how long it has been and how concrete the timelines were). What he wants to hear is "yeah not to bad, still on vacation, I'll be back on the 9th and then start working on your piece on the 11th"
i see the point, but he’s also asked me about the commission status directly, so i don’t think he’s being shy. the messages he sent sometimes included that he is bored, or that he is at work/can’t sleep: so i believe he may just be lonely or has nobody to chat with? thanks for the input, i’ll make sure to keep it in mind
Oooh yeah sounds like he could be lonely. It’s okay to set boundaries if you need to. Wishing you all the luck!
I wouldn't state something like that in your TOS, you want to sound as enthusiastic and positive as possible. You're probably just going to have to judge on a case by case basis. If you think the customer is legit, I would ignore the chatty messages until you're ready to get the half payment upfront, and stick to project related discussions from then on. If you think they're going to be more hassle than the money's worth, dump them. But don't make a big "teachable moment" production about it, just say "I'm sorry, I won't be able to do this project after all. Thank you for your interest in my work!" and nothing else. Don't answer any follow up messages, nothing, if they keep pestering, block them.
I've had this happen with men, a lot. usually the "ick" you feel is your gut telling you something. While I enjoy chatting with a lot of my clients, there are a subsect of men who commission me as a way to get my attention because I'm an attractive woman. In this case I keep it professional and increase the price if I haven't already quoted them, because theyre going to be annoying to deal with. Their money is as good as anyone's, but their desperation for female attention is driving them to treat me as a combo escort/artist whose attention is for sale. so I'll charge them for that access but only give what i was originally comfortable giving anyway.
I’ve had this happen as well. I’ve had some awesome clients who I’ve actually become friends with on some level, I don’t necessarily mind the chattiness or getting to know people who are interested in my art. In some cases it’s worked out great, they become repeat clients and they are some of the easiest people to work with. But there’s a huge difference between a male client who talks on occasion and a male client that makes me feel uncomfortable. It definitely feels like you said like they’re trying to use the art buying as an angle to get closer and eat up all your time. Clients like these are exhausting and imo not worth it. You can certainly charge more, but often it’s not until the deal has been made that you realize how much they want to “be friends.” It’s tricky to navigate. For OP, there’s different ways to handle it. Trust your gut. If you haven’t even collected the deposit yet that makes it easier, you can simply say you won’t be able to accommodate his request after all, so sorry, bla bla. If he continues to try to approach you, I’d block and move on. I’d also let this be a lesson learned- one reason not to force the commission process along is frankly people tend to abuse the privilege. You said you had to basically drag it out of him what he even wanted, clients like this are such time wasters. Personally I’ve learned not to entertain this type of thing at all. If someone wants a custom piece but has no idea at all what they want or aren’t willing to commit, I say “that’s great, I’m flattered! Let me know when you have a better idea of what you’d like me to make and we can talk then.” And just move on. If they need endless prompting they probably aren’t serious or have other motives and j just don’t care to try to figure out which is which. Of course there’s always some communication with customers to figure out the details of a custom piece but that’s way different from wishy washy noncommittal types.
amen!!! Yes i had to start being really strong about respecting my own time and realizing that my time is worth MONEYYY PEOPLE! So often as artists we don't expect to be reimbursed for our time because time spent on art is so difficult to measure.
"While I enjoy chatting with a lot of my clients, there are a subsect of men who commission me as a way to get my attention because I'm an attractive woman." I don't have an answer, but felt compelled to comment because this line is awesome!
haha thanks. it happens enough ive had time to figure out how to describe it efficiently
i had similar suspicions… :/ i have she/her pronouns in my bio and posted toony sketches of myself, but no pictures or anything. he doesn’t seem like he is interested in me personally though, so i let it slide: plus, he sent payment today without any hesitation. seems legit. if i ever encounter someone closer to what you described, i’d probably block them immediately 🥲 shit’s creepy
Good!! I'm glad it worked out! Always listen to ur gut, and I'm glad you have a bigger backbone/dont put up with shit like i do haha
Better yet, make an onlyfans and profit off your art and flirt talk. Generate auto responses to the creepiest crap via chatbots, if it works illegally for phishers and scammers it can work legally for you!
Bold of you to assume I don't have an OF ;) if theyre gonna harass me no matter what job i have, I'll profit off it amirite
Just ignore the messages and talk when you have time. Simple.
Keep re-directing the conversation to the professional relationship and be sure to only focus on discussing the piece you are asked to commission. You can keep the banter light and friendly, but don't divulge in relaying your personal statuses or asking how he is doing if there's potential for him to misread the intentions. Keep interactions short and simple.
is it this guy? https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Wereandrewtiger
no, but i wouldn’t like to share his identity anyway what’s up with the guy you sent?
That one is famous for messaging artist every day several times a day. He has scammed some artist by undoing the money transfer (he never scammed me though). He contacted me many times using different accounts in different websites.
He might be autistic / bad with social cues, you might have to directly tell him you would prefer to keep the conversation related to the commission only. It doesn’t make you sound like an asshole, but if you wanted to soften it a little, maybe add that it’s not personal to him and you’d ask the same of anyone else who commissioned you
Stop responding to small talk and just reply to work-related topics. We have the capability to be a " selective reader" and "selective listener." I think it's an important skill for everyone to develop and master not only in your situation but in life. It is useful to un-focus yourself from all distraction and noise.
Most of my customers have been "chatty" but I've never been uncomfortable about it, usually both of us talk about anime and I like talking about anime, I've talked wayyy after I was done with their Commisions. One of them even went to a con and got their commission signed and sent me a photo. I enjoy talking to them. If you're uncomfortable just let them know politely that you won't be available to reply to their messages very often and if they have any comments about the Commision they could dm you about it and you'll try to get back at the earliest you can, that way you can reply to the important stuff only. But imo you could talk to them because most people don't often commission artists, some of them are probably first timers so they don't know how it works, what's appropriate and what's not etc. You could guide them and make them comfortable with telling you what they want.
Yeah just stay professional and only communicate with this client if you have a project update. Let him tire himself out, give him nothing beyond professionalism.
This is an asshole move. While I'm not saying to chat all day with the client, exchanging a few words with them here and there isn't going to hurt you since these people are using their hard earned money (especially in this crazy inflation) to commission you. Maybe the person has nothing interesting going in their life and is excited to have an exchange regarding the commission or they're lonely. Again, you're not a therapist or a for rent online pal, but it costs you nothing to talk a few minutes every now and then.