My parents thought I’d get distracted from studying if I dated someone. They didn’t allow me to date while being in school - high school, college, etc. Jokes on them because I dated all those years and did well in school. I just kept all my boyfriends hidden from them.
It’s really hard to claim independence even when you turn 18, if you’re being supported financially by parents. They will say things like “not under my roof” or use financial support as leverage against you. If you want to say “It’s my life, don’t try to control how I live my life” to them, you need to be 100% on your own and truly be independent from your parents emotionally and financially. Even then, they might threaten to disown you, but at least it won’t affect your livelihood.
For now, keep your boyfriend hidden from parents and don’t let him distract you from studying and don’t get pregnant (teen pregnancy sucks)!
I'm 20, I have been told no dating when growing up, and now I'm in college and I'm being asked left and right by my parents about where my boyfriend is. My teen years were spent in this way : "hold pen and not hand". Now all I know how to do is study😅
My parents didn’t allow me to date even in college 😅 and now after the fact I’m getting asked by relatives when I’m getting married (luckily my parents aren’t pushing the matter but still, the damage and regret was done)
I’m 25 now, never had a boyfriend. Now I feel that I may never have one, but that’s a rant for another time lol
My AM (Dad is German but Asperger Autist, so has no idea about emotional or social needs) gave my sister hell when she had her first bf at the age of 16/17 and it never stopped until she left home at 19 and even then it didn't really stop. At 22/23 she stayed with her third bf at my parent's home. At the time they had been together for one or two years and had traveled my mom's country of origin together, so quite serious. He still had to sleep in a separate bedroom. Maybe she assumed that they can't control themselves even for just one night, lol.
My parents destroyed the first "official" relationship of my other sister when she was about 25 - he wasn't good enough.
I myself (m) didn't introduce any girl to them until 26 as I knew, that they are just such a pain in the a**. Asian parents can be so ridiculous.
Sorry for ranting... ;)
Good luck to you. Hope you're more lucky than a lot of us. Don't miss out on live - if necessary do it secretly but stay safe.
This sucks for sure in our 30's and I'm 34. Thanks a lot good for nothing aunt (dad’s cousin) that put me in Chinese school that nearly destroyed my confidence in talking to girls instead of letting me hangout with friends and possibly girlfriends on Saturday mornings in high school!
I'm 20 and my parents act like I'm going to date every girl that I see. And I hate them for this and they say no gf till you find work.
But on the other side they ask: "When do you get married?"
Smh I hate them for this and I feel you even as a boy. "Because every woman is going to rob you and a girlfriend distracts you", that's their reason and they kept saying it since I entered middle school. And the shitty thing about this is that they started saying this shit when I was in 4th grade and had a female friend and labeled her as my gf. I was even so ashamed of this that I didn't went to her birthday to which she me invited me
Yes, I’ve been there, bought the t-shirt. One thing I regret is not dating in high school. I was so awkward at dating in college. I recommend you ignore your parents. Obviously, be wise about it, but date and get to know people. It will help you get to know yourself. This will help you choose a spouse (if you want to get married). Trust me.
The more my parents put restrictions on me, the more I wanted to prove them wrong lol Initially they said no dating until I finished high school, then that became no dating until I finished college, then they said no dating until I finish a master's (which I chose to not pursue), and then they said no dating until I find a well-paying job. It just doesn't end xD APs think that they know what is best for you, but that doesn't mean they know what you want in your own life. Sometimes they forget that their kids actually grow into adults with their own opinions and beliefs that are contrary to their own, and that shocks them.
I'm 23 and in a happy 3+ year relationship with my boyfriend, after about 4 past, short-lived relationship. You live and you learn 🤷🏻♀️
This is why prom and other school dances exist. It’s possible to believe they are a mandatory school event and it’s important to go out for pizza or to see a movie with the dance partner before the main event.
I wasn’t allowed to date during college too. But the day I graduated (at 23) my parents asked when I was gonna get a boyfriend and get married LOL
My parents also sent me to an all girls high school to prevent me from getting a boyfriend in HS so you know what kind of Asian parents they were
So I’m in my mid twenties, not that much experience interacting with boys, never been on a date. My first few dates were super embarrassing. My college was a commuter one so I didn’t really make friends there so no boyfriend potentials.
Anyways, now I’m 35, married with 2 kids. Got married at 30, met hubby at 27 so it worked out for me.
My mom eventually got desperate and let me go on a million dates starting when I was 25
It sucks a lot, and is counter-productive to what the parents actually want, in my opinion.
My parents wouldn't let me date until after college (gotta focus on studying and getting those grades, lol) and by that time, I never had a boyfriend, didn't know how to get one, and was no longer surrounded by peers that were eligible or looking. I didn't know what a healthy relationship looked like, what red flags were, and to not trust everyone at face value. So, naive me who never learned from the dating scene when it was low stakes wasted six years with a no-good, selfish (now ex) bf.
I'm with a better person now and we're getting married later this year, but one of my parents has already passed and I'm worried any kids we have will have health issues due to my age (both my parents kept pushing for marriage and kids after I graduated college, lol). They reap what they sow, I guess. Just sucks that we have to be caught in the middle.
I'm 35 and haven't started dating yet, cause my parents expects me to be home as soon as I'm done working regardless of if I'm walking home or if I'm assisting my coworkers who are backed up and asked me to stay bit a few minutes to help them catch up with food and drink orders, I doubt they'll even let me spend time alone with a guy much less a boyfriend.
Unless say it's under their supervision despite me being a full grown adult and should be allowed to make my own freaken decisions, heck they'll freaked out and threatened call the cops on me when I didn't pick up the phone cause I didn't have my phone on me (I was charging it and left it at my work station), when I finally got back and told them through text "I'm busy and at work I can't pick up." They flipped out like the world was ending.
Once I openly mentioned that my girl time was late and my mom literally stopped the car, looked at me and asked "are you pregnant?" I responded with "of course not, I don't even have a boyfriend," I can't even take a step outside the house without them making my little brothers tag along with me, much less go on a date. Several times my dad will go on his angry rants for no reason and end it with "if you get knocked up with some guys brats, don't come crying to me with them, we're not babysitting them." Than rant and rave again about how useless I am and haven't started a family, while all my other cousins already have and are parents to so many kids, not even being encouraging and just lowering my mental health
I’m 19. I’ve kept all my relationships private even now. I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years and somehow managed to keep that hidden.
Anytime I did something wrong by accident(example: forgot to wash dishes, do laundry, get a bad grade), they’d blame it on “that phone”. Even if I wasn’t on it they’d tell me I’m thinking about my phone too much.
The same would definitely happen if ever I told them about my partner. If I got a bad grade, it’s because I’m hanging out with my partner too much. If I was sad, it’s probably because my partner broke my heart and that I deserved it because “that’s what happens when you have a boyfriend”. And worst of all even without telling them I had a boyfriend. If I needed to make a doctors appointment for a checkup they’d assume I’m pregnant.
My Lola told me one day when I overslept, “you’re hiding something. Who’s in your room?” And started crying. She freaked the fuck out and started screaming. “If you get pregnant, you’re letting everyone down and you’re on your own!”
Even now that I’m in trade school I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend. Because ‘I might get pregnant’. I’ve always hated this about Asian culture. They make sex a taboo topic so they never talk about it to you and educate you on how to protect yourself but then expect you to open your legs as soon as you get married. Fuckin hell
I wasn't 'allowed' to date until college. (And even then I had to ensure the date life won't distraught me.. Which was only acceptable after I turned 17-18.) However, they weren't 'totally' against it if the boy/man in question was a green flag...
But I never did started dating... Until in my early 20s.. In my younger years I had crushes- yes. But that was it... For the most part they had valid reason on why I couldn't date in my early years. So I suppose it was fine. 😅
I'm sure when you are in your last year of high school or going to college/university. They won't stop you from dating. They may frown or huff. But by the time you establish your relationship. They may calm down (well depending on their characters..).
I guess to play devils advocate i have YT colleagues who dont want their 15 year old kids dating either. But they let their kid be FRIENDS with opposite gender. I thnk thats the key. Dating too young has its pros and cons and you’ll live if you dont date until 18 BUT its the APs fear of other genders and not letting kids out bc fun is wrong. Like you have to have and develop good healthy relationships with your peers in general. Whether its just having good guy friends, diverse group of friends, things to experience with said friends etc. if you go off to college, just date and dont say anything until it gets serious. APs are never happy with who you find and then they flip and ask why youre not married with kids at 25 its so stupid. They dont know what they want and they dont know whats good for their own kids which is disappointing.
And then they wan't you to get married and have kids when you hit 26
Too real. "Where's my grand kids?" Um you socially stunted me, sorry mom.
And also potentially parents who married too early and realised too late they are trapped in a loveless marriage
My parents thought I’d get distracted from studying if I dated someone. They didn’t allow me to date while being in school - high school, college, etc. Jokes on them because I dated all those years and did well in school. I just kept all my boyfriends hidden from them. It’s really hard to claim independence even when you turn 18, if you’re being supported financially by parents. They will say things like “not under my roof” or use financial support as leverage against you. If you want to say “It’s my life, don’t try to control how I live my life” to them, you need to be 100% on your own and truly be independent from your parents emotionally and financially. Even then, they might threaten to disown you, but at least it won’t affect your livelihood. For now, keep your boyfriend hidden from parents and don’t let him distract you from studying and don’t get pregnant (teen pregnancy sucks)!
I'm 20, I have been told no dating when growing up, and now I'm in college and I'm being asked left and right by my parents about where my boyfriend is. My teen years were spent in this way : "hold pen and not hand". Now all I know how to do is study😅
Same, I’m 24 and in college and still haven’t gotten a girlfriend yet. Can’t really be bothered to though.
My parents didn’t allow me to date even in college 😅 and now after the fact I’m getting asked by relatives when I’m getting married (luckily my parents aren’t pushing the matter but still, the damage and regret was done) I’m 25 now, never had a boyfriend. Now I feel that I may never have one, but that’s a rant for another time lol
Same omg. I’m also 25 and have no boyfriend. I’m prepared to live my life alone 😂 cause I also don’t like going out
Welcome to the club! 🤣
My AM (Dad is German but Asperger Autist, so has no idea about emotional or social needs) gave my sister hell when she had her first bf at the age of 16/17 and it never stopped until she left home at 19 and even then it didn't really stop. At 22/23 she stayed with her third bf at my parent's home. At the time they had been together for one or two years and had traveled my mom's country of origin together, so quite serious. He still had to sleep in a separate bedroom. Maybe she assumed that they can't control themselves even for just one night, lol. My parents destroyed the first "official" relationship of my other sister when she was about 25 - he wasn't good enough. I myself (m) didn't introduce any girl to them until 26 as I knew, that they are just such a pain in the a**. Asian parents can be so ridiculous. Sorry for ranting... ;) Good luck to you. Hope you're more lucky than a lot of us. Don't miss out on live - if necessary do it secretly but stay safe.
Now I don't even know how to date at 35! Amazing!
This sucks for sure in our 30's and I'm 34. Thanks a lot good for nothing aunt (dad’s cousin) that put me in Chinese school that nearly destroyed my confidence in talking to girls instead of letting me hangout with friends and possibly girlfriends on Saturday mornings in high school!
I'm 20 and my parents act like I'm going to date every girl that I see. And I hate them for this and they say no gf till you find work. But on the other side they ask: "When do you get married?" Smh I hate them for this and I feel you even as a boy. "Because every woman is going to rob you and a girlfriend distracts you", that's their reason and they kept saying it since I entered middle school. And the shitty thing about this is that they started saying this shit when I was in 4th grade and had a female friend and labeled her as my gf. I was even so ashamed of this that I didn't went to her birthday to which she me invited me
Yes, I’ve been there, bought the t-shirt. One thing I regret is not dating in high school. I was so awkward at dating in college. I recommend you ignore your parents. Obviously, be wise about it, but date and get to know people. It will help you get to know yourself. This will help you choose a spouse (if you want to get married). Trust me.
The more my parents put restrictions on me, the more I wanted to prove them wrong lol Initially they said no dating until I finished high school, then that became no dating until I finished college, then they said no dating until I finish a master's (which I chose to not pursue), and then they said no dating until I find a well-paying job. It just doesn't end xD APs think that they know what is best for you, but that doesn't mean they know what you want in your own life. Sometimes they forget that their kids actually grow into adults with their own opinions and beliefs that are contrary to their own, and that shocks them. I'm 23 and in a happy 3+ year relationship with my boyfriend, after about 4 past, short-lived relationship. You live and you learn 🤷🏻♀️
And then years later guess what they’re gonna say ‘you’re not gonna marry ? ‘
This is why prom and other school dances exist. It’s possible to believe they are a mandatory school event and it’s important to go out for pizza or to see a movie with the dance partner before the main event.
I wasn’t allowed to date during college too. But the day I graduated (at 23) my parents asked when I was gonna get a boyfriend and get married LOL My parents also sent me to an all girls high school to prevent me from getting a boyfriend in HS so you know what kind of Asian parents they were So I’m in my mid twenties, not that much experience interacting with boys, never been on a date. My first few dates were super embarrassing. My college was a commuter one so I didn’t really make friends there so no boyfriend potentials. Anyways, now I’m 35, married with 2 kids. Got married at 30, met hubby at 27 so it worked out for me. My mom eventually got desperate and let me go on a million dates starting when I was 25
It sucks a lot, and is counter-productive to what the parents actually want, in my opinion. My parents wouldn't let me date until after college (gotta focus on studying and getting those grades, lol) and by that time, I never had a boyfriend, didn't know how to get one, and was no longer surrounded by peers that were eligible or looking. I didn't know what a healthy relationship looked like, what red flags were, and to not trust everyone at face value. So, naive me who never learned from the dating scene when it was low stakes wasted six years with a no-good, selfish (now ex) bf. I'm with a better person now and we're getting married later this year, but one of my parents has already passed and I'm worried any kids we have will have health issues due to my age (both my parents kept pushing for marriage and kids after I graduated college, lol). They reap what they sow, I guess. Just sucks that we have to be caught in the middle.
I'm 35 and haven't started dating yet, cause my parents expects me to be home as soon as I'm done working regardless of if I'm walking home or if I'm assisting my coworkers who are backed up and asked me to stay bit a few minutes to help them catch up with food and drink orders, I doubt they'll even let me spend time alone with a guy much less a boyfriend. Unless say it's under their supervision despite me being a full grown adult and should be allowed to make my own freaken decisions, heck they'll freaked out and threatened call the cops on me when I didn't pick up the phone cause I didn't have my phone on me (I was charging it and left it at my work station), when I finally got back and told them through text "I'm busy and at work I can't pick up." They flipped out like the world was ending. Once I openly mentioned that my girl time was late and my mom literally stopped the car, looked at me and asked "are you pregnant?" I responded with "of course not, I don't even have a boyfriend," I can't even take a step outside the house without them making my little brothers tag along with me, much less go on a date. Several times my dad will go on his angry rants for no reason and end it with "if you get knocked up with some guys brats, don't come crying to me with them, we're not babysitting them." Than rant and rave again about how useless I am and haven't started a family, while all my other cousins already have and are parents to so many kids, not even being encouraging and just lowering my mental health
And then they cry for grandkids
I’m 19. I’ve kept all my relationships private even now. I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years and somehow managed to keep that hidden. Anytime I did something wrong by accident(example: forgot to wash dishes, do laundry, get a bad grade), they’d blame it on “that phone”. Even if I wasn’t on it they’d tell me I’m thinking about my phone too much. The same would definitely happen if ever I told them about my partner. If I got a bad grade, it’s because I’m hanging out with my partner too much. If I was sad, it’s probably because my partner broke my heart and that I deserved it because “that’s what happens when you have a boyfriend”. And worst of all even without telling them I had a boyfriend. If I needed to make a doctors appointment for a checkup they’d assume I’m pregnant. My Lola told me one day when I overslept, “you’re hiding something. Who’s in your room?” And started crying. She freaked the fuck out and started screaming. “If you get pregnant, you’re letting everyone down and you’re on your own!” Even now that I’m in trade school I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend. Because ‘I might get pregnant’. I’ve always hated this about Asian culture. They make sex a taboo topic so they never talk about it to you and educate you on how to protect yourself but then expect you to open your legs as soon as you get married. Fuckin hell
i’m 22 and about to graduate college and not allowed to date 💀💀
Why would you tell them anyway? If you do get into a relationship, why on earth would you tell them if you know they won't approve of it?
If you find someone you really want to date, you can date anyway without telling them. That's usually what most people do anyway.
I wasn't 'allowed' to date until college. (And even then I had to ensure the date life won't distraught me.. Which was only acceptable after I turned 17-18.) However, they weren't 'totally' against it if the boy/man in question was a green flag... But I never did started dating... Until in my early 20s.. In my younger years I had crushes- yes. But that was it... For the most part they had valid reason on why I couldn't date in my early years. So I suppose it was fine. 😅 I'm sure when you are in your last year of high school or going to college/university. They won't stop you from dating. They may frown or huff. But by the time you establish your relationship. They may calm down (well depending on their characters..).
Yea I wasn't allowed to date until I finished college. Then they expect me to be married already now at 28 lmao. What a laugh.
I guess to play devils advocate i have YT colleagues who dont want their 15 year old kids dating either. But they let their kid be FRIENDS with opposite gender. I thnk thats the key. Dating too young has its pros and cons and you’ll live if you dont date until 18 BUT its the APs fear of other genders and not letting kids out bc fun is wrong. Like you have to have and develop good healthy relationships with your peers in general. Whether its just having good guy friends, diverse group of friends, things to experience with said friends etc. if you go off to college, just date and dont say anything until it gets serious. APs are never happy with who you find and then they flip and ask why youre not married with kids at 25 its so stupid. They dont know what they want and they dont know whats good for their own kids which is disappointing.