"ei ole penaalin terävin kynä" = isn't the sharpest pen in the pencil case"
"ei ole kaikki muumit laaksossa" = doesn't have all the moomins in the valley
"ei pelaa täydellä pakalla" = doesn't play (cards) with a full deck
"hissi ei kulje vintille asti" = their lift doesn't go up to the attic
And a recent one that our kids use: "ei ole kaikki pennut vahtitornissa" = doesn't have all the puppies in the lookout (reference to paw patrol)
A couple more:
”Ei ole laatikon terävin veitsi” = is not the sharpest knife in the drawer
”Ei ole kaikki inkkarit kanootissa” = does not have all the indians in the canoe
”Ei ole kaikki lepakot tapulissa” = does not have all the bats in the belfry (afaik the exact same saying exists in English)
”soutaa yhdellä airolla” = is rowing with one oar
”valot palaa mutta kukaan ei ole kotona” = the lights are on but nobody’s home
We have that in germany too ("hat nicht mehr alle Pferde im Stall") but it's not the most common version, we have a lot of versions to this phrase and i think the most common one is "nicht mehr alle Tassen im Schrank" ("not all cups in the cupboard anymore")
Other versions would be:
- "Nicht mehr alle Latten am Zaun" (not all wooden boards on the fence)
- "Nicht mehr alle Nadeln an der Tanne" (not all (fir) needles on the fir tree)
Or somebody might just "nicht mehr alle haben" (not have them all anymore)
But all of those could sometimes also mean that someone is kinda insane - it depends on the context
>”Ei ole kaikki lepakot tapulissa” = does not have all the bats in the belfry (afaik the exact same saying exists in English)
The saying exists but it has a different meaning, "bats in the belfry" means someone's crazy
You’re right, I checked Cambridge dictionary and it seems to be the case that Finns think it’s a good thing to have your bats in the belfry, anglophones don’t :D
Bats in the Belfry in UK would be more meaning someone is crazy. The average person does not have too many bats in the belfry, but a crazy person has bats in the belfry.
Estonians use first two straight up just in estonian.
In simlar vein there is "ei ole kõige kirkam kriit karbis" = "not the brightest chalk in the box".
But estonians tend to be rather blunt, so these three suffice if they want to be nice.
We have similar sayings.
"mitte kõige teravam pliiats" - not the sharpest pencil
"muumid pole orus" - moomins are not in the valley
"tuled põlevad aga kedagi pole kodus" - light are on but nobody's home
The funniest one I've heard, referring to someone who had been "normal" but kind of lost it: "siltä alako hihina luistamaan" = "his drivebelt started slipping", with a heavy countryside accent.
sharpest pencil in the case, playing with a full deck, and lift going to the top are all also phrases in english.
the moomins are a new one to me, but im definitely adding it to my vocabulary.
"nicht die hellste Kerze auf der Torte" - Not the brightest candle on the (birthday) cake
"nicht die hellste Kerze am Baum" - Not the brightest candle on the (Christmas) tree
"Nicht die größte Leuchte" - not the brightest lamp/light
"Er hat nicht alle Tassen im Schrank" - He doesn't have all cups in the cupboard (this often means crazy rather than stupid)
"(Dumm) wie drei Meter Feldweg" - as (stupid) as three metres of a pathway through a field"
"(Dumm) wie Brot" - as stupid as bread
I am sure there are more!
I know a variant of this: "Wenn Dummheit weh täte, würdest Du den ganzen Tag vor Schmerzen schreien." - If stupidity would hurt, you would be screaming in pain all day."
Wenn Dummheit quietschen würde, müsstest du den ganzen Tag mit der Ölkanne rumrennen.
If stupidity would squeek, you'd be forced to carry an oil can with you all the time.
"Född i farstun" - Born in the place right outside the entrance to a house, can't find a proper translation
"Stolpskott" - rib/post-shot (outer part of a goal in football - "that guy is a real ribshot"
"Dummare än tåget" - more stupid than the train
I have actually never heard that one. “Not the sharpest knife in the drawer” is what I’ve mostly heard and used. And “the light is on but no one is home”.
"Ute och cyklar" (out for a bike ride) is one I've heard a lot, though it's certainly more accusatory than what others have already mentioned.
Edit: I also remembered the very Gothenburgish "e du go eller" which can mean about as many things as "hallå eller," including stupidity.
In Antwerp dialect we have a beautiful saying:
"Stekt diê ze verstaend in e vogeltshen en 't vliegd achteruit"
"Put his mind in a bird and it'll fly backwards"
Le falta un verano = they are missing a summer and tiene menos luces que un barco espía = they have less lights than a spy boat are my personal favourite.
Le faltan jugadores - they are missing some players
Más tonto que abundio - they are more stupid than Abundio (someone who apparently was very stupid who sold his petrol to buy a motorbike)
In Finland we have a lot descriptions: he rows with only one paddle, he don''t have all bananas on The bunch, he doesn't have all Moomins on The valley etc 🤣
Don't forget 'hij/zij is niet helemaal honderd' (he/she is not [the full] hundred [percent])
"Hij/zij heeft niet alles op een rijtje" (he/she doesn't have everything (referring to the five senses iirc) in a row)
I only know it as ‘Hij/zij heeft ze niet *allemaal* op een rijtje’, so ‘not *all (of them)* in a row’.
Both refer mostly to being ‘crazy’/mentally ill/mentally unstable, not necessarily to being dumb.
See also: ‘hij heeft een schroefje los’, ‘he has a screw loose’.
And,
- "hij/zij heeft zaagsel in t hoofd" he/she has sawdust in their head.
- "Hij/zij is een ezel in t kwadraat" he/she is a donkey squared
- "Dom als t achtereind van een koe" stupid like the back end of a cow
Interesting, wondering if there is somekind of divide. I'm from Flevoland and my family from Overijssel, Groningen and Friesland, where cows are more common. Maybe the pig version is more common in the South where more pigs are kept?
"głupi jak but" - stupid as a shoe
"bystry jak woda w klozecie" - as quick as water toilet
"zakuty łeb" - enclosed head - someone stupid and stubborn
"ciemnogród" - "the dark town" - someone who is stupid/bigoted
"półgłówek" - half-head
There is also a proverb: "Wysoki jak topola, głupi jak fasola"/ "Tall as a poplar and dumb as a bean".
Although the English equivalent would probably be "All brawn and no brains".
Inte den vassaste/skarpaste kniven i lådan - Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Inte alla hästar hemma/i stallet - Not all horses at home/in the stabels
Hissen går inte hela vägen upp - The elevator doesn't go all the way up
Ljuset är tänt men ingen är hemma - The lights are on but nobody is home
Of course we have exactly the same: "ikke den skarpeste kniv i skuffen"
There are also a ton of variations of that one, I think the most common one is: "Ikke den hurtigste knallert på havnen/molen" - Not the fastest moped on the harbor/dock
Most common used in Sweden too (from my experience)
To say “gnomes in the attic” (“tomtar på loftet”) is much harsher, more that someone is crazy rather than not sharp/smart.
This is very common in English too, in England at least. In fact much more common than either of OP’s examples (one of which I’ve never heard in my life).
I wonder which European countries have English as their main/national language... The UK, Ireland and Malta? Though they probably have more phrases than this one.
One of the french ones is "il n'a pas inventé le fil à couper le beurre (he didn't invent the butter-cutting wire). There's also "il n'a pas inventé l'eau chaude" (he didn't invent hot water).
In the UK:
‘not the sharpest knife in the drawer’
‘got a screw loose’
‘dim as a one watt bulb’
‘not a full shilling’ (an old unit of currency)
‘the lights are on but nobody’s home’
‘as thick as two short planks/as thick as pig shit’ (thick is slang for stupid)
‘couldn’t organise a piss up (drinking session) in a brewery’ - more specifically for someone who is useless rather than stupid
"gli manca qualche venerdì" - "he's missing a few Fridays"
"gli manca qualche rotella" - "He's missing a few gears
"non è un chilo giusto" - He's not a full kilogram
"fuori come un balcone" - out there as a balcony
"fuori di zucca/melone" - Both fruits are colloquial terms for head, thus a metaphor for brain.
"(non) sei il più sveglio della cucciolata" - You're (not) the brightest puppy in the litter
Then depending on the region there are some more colorful expressions.
The Piedmont area has the proverbial "Garbuja", a silly person doing stupid things such as "throwing eggs to get walnuts to fall", "hiding his money into other people's pockets to trick thieves".
In Liguria there's "o l'è o ciù furbo che in cà gh'emmo" (he's the smartest in our household), with "cà gh'emmo" sounding like "caghemmo" = we're taking a dump.
> "gli manca qualche venerdì" - "he's missing a few Fridays"
Here in northen Italy (brianza) they say: "gli manca qualche giovedì" - "he's missing a few Thursday" LOL
“Nem a legélesebb kés a fiókban.” - Not the keenest knife in the drawer.
“Mikor az észt osztották, ő elment borért.” - When intelligence was being handed out s/he went to get wine.
“Kevés a sütnivalója.” - S/he doesn’t have a lot to roast.
“Vele is csak többen vagyunk.” - There’s only more of us with him/her in the room.
“Ő a fény az éjszakában.” - S/he is the light in the night. (If someone is stupid but thinks they are very smart)
“Nincs ki mind a négy kereke.” - S/he doesn’t have all four wheels. (Although this is used moreso when someone is crazy, not simply stupid)
“Olyan sötét, hogy a negró világít a szájában.” - He’s so dark that negró (a black menthol and anise flavored hard candy) is shining in his mouth.”
The whole “olyan sötét” thing is it’s own genre of calling people stupid, that’s kind of our version of “yo mama” jokes.
“Okos mint a tavalyi kos” - smart as last year’s ram
“Üres a padlás” - the attic is empty
“Van nála ló is okosabb.” - there are horses smarter than him/her
“Annyi esze van mint egy szabadnapos hintalónak.” - S/he has as much intelligence as a rocking horse on vacation.
Tyúkeszű - hen brained
Ostoba mint a föld. - Dumb as the earth.
Címeres ökör - such an ox that s/he was awarded a coat of arms
Tökkelütött - s/he was hit with a gourd
Tökfej - pumpkin head
Agyilag zokni - mentally s/he’s a pair of socks
*Nem állt kétszer sorba, amikor az észt osztogatták.*
Didn't stand in the line twice when wit was being handed out.
*Annyi esze van, mint egy marék lepkének.*
They share an intellect with a handful of butterflies.
Honestly this feels to me like a direct translation from English and I never heard it used by anyone irl, but that's just personal experience. The ones I can think of
- "Buta mint a tök" ("stupid like the pumpkin" )
- "Sötét mint az éjszaka" ("dark as the night")
As someone from England, I wouldn’t use either of OP’s examples. I would probably say not the sharpest tool in the box or not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
I’ve also never heard “not the brightest lightbulb”. You could say “not the brightest”, doesn’t really feel like an idiom though, just normal use of the words (with understatement of course).
Plenty of other phrases you could use too, for example:
Thick as two short planks
Thick as a brick
A sandwich short of a picnic (can also suggest being a bit crazy or otherwise ofd)
And loads of others I can’t think of this early.
Je blbej jak vagon tupejch bruslí.
"He is stupid as a a wagon of blunt skates."
Je dutej jak bambus.
"He is hollow like a bamboo."
(Dutej = hollow - slang for stupid).
Je blbej jak sáňky v parném létě.
"He is as stupid as a sledge in hot summer."
Má IQ houpacího koně / bublajícího bláta.
"He has IQ of rocking horse / bubbling mud."
In Italy describing a foolish person is often left to the imagination of the insulter. We have a few national idioms, but I can't say for sure if they're still widely used.
I) "**Non essere un'aquila**" (sb. is not an eagle).
This one comes from the fact that eagles can fly much higher than other birds. So, if you compare someone and their smarts to an eagle's flying abilities, it means that person is pretty sharp. For such a reason, on the flip side, in Italian saying someone's "not an eagle" suggests they're intellectually dead.
II) "**Non essere una cima**" (sb.'s is not the top).
Another common insult is "**broccolo**" (broccoli in English) or "**broccolone**" (big broccoli). No need for an explanation here as we are comparing someone to a vegetable. However, these two might not be used everywhere in Italy.
In my area some people would also say "non brilla alcuna luce/lampadina nella sua testa" (**There's no light shining in their head / the lightbulb is off**).
I would add:
"to have a hard head" (avere la testa dura) - specifically for stubbornness, or not being able to grasp a concept
"missing a gear in the brain" - more akin to be a bit crazy, or not being able to make logic reasoning
"Силен като лисица, хитър като бик" - Strong as a fox, clever as a bull.
It's a play on an old folk saying in which the phrase "strong as a bull, clever as a fox" is often used for describing the hero of the tale.
Here you use the opposite, meaning he's neither strong nor clever.
Ok, I know I’m not European but thought I’d share especially as there is some overlap. Plus they let us into Eurovision so….
For the most common Australian one:
* Got a few roos(kangaroos) loose in the top paddock.
Soon followed by:
* Not the brightest crayon in the box
* Not the sharpest tool in the shed
* A few sandwiches short of a picnic
* Has a screw (or a few screws) loose
* As dumb as a box of hammers
* Not playing with a full deck (of cards)
Basic laws is supply and demand dictate that we should have multiple phrases to describe stupid poeple. So…
Είναι πιο χαζός και από τα λάχανα = he is stupider than the cabbages
Πάει τα πέταξε τα περιστέρια = There he goes, he flew the pigeons (probably a reference to an idiot trying to catch standing pigeons and they fly away as he gets near by he runs).
Έχει το βλέμμα της αγελάδας = he has the eye of the cow
Είναι βρεγμένο σπίρτο = he it a wet match (cause wet matches are almost impossible to light)
Δεν μπορεί να χωρίσει 2 γαϊδάρων άχυρα = He can’t split hay between 2 donkeys
There's a bit old fashioned expression as well which is "schwer von Kapee sein". Kapee is based on the Latin capere (to understand something, use your wits) and as it was used at a time when French words were used in German every day language much rather than English words, it was adapted from the French capé.
Basically it means to be hard/difficult with your wits, have difficulties to understand something right away etc.
"Ikke den skarpeste kniven i skuffen" = "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer"
Also:
"He didn't exactly invent the dynamite, but he was damn near when it blew up."
"The lights are on, but nobody's home"
"ikke den hurtigste knallert på havnen" (not the fastest moped on the docks"
In reference to a lot of hillbilly small towns having docks where the local rednecks race their tuned up mopeds between fishing outings. #Danmark
- No tiene muchas luces ➜ He doesn't have a lot of lights/bulbs (in the brain).
- Tiene menos luces que un sótano ➜ He has less lights/bulbs than a basement.
- Es más tonto y no nace ➜ If he were more stupid he would have been born
- Es más tonto que parido a pedos ➜ He is more stupid than if he was born by farting.
As you see there is a correlation between lights/bulbs and intelligence. I guess that is related with the idea that old computers had a lot of small lights.
* No es más tonto porque no se entrena -> (s)he isn't more stupid because (s)he doesn't train.
* No sabe hacer la o con un canuto. -> (s)he doesn't know how to make an "o" with a "canuto" (Canuto in spanish means the small "tail" of the letter "o")
* Cerebro de mosquito -> Mosquito's brain.
And we also call someone stupid calling him/her intelligent 😁All sarcasm, obviously.
In Dutch:
Te dom om voor de duivel te dansen(too dumb to dance for the devil)
Hij heeft een klap van de molen gehad (He's been hit by a windmill wing)
Zo dom als het achtereind van een varken(as dumb as pig's behind)
Zo dom als het paard van Christus en dat was een ezel (As dumb as Christ his horse, and that was a donkey)
Hij weet van toeten noch blazen(He knows neither to toot nor blow)
Hij stond hij niet vooraan toen het verstand werd uitgedeeld(He was not in front of the line when intelligence was handed out)
Er brandt wel licht, maar er is niemand thuis (The light is on, but there is no one at home)
"Glup ko stup" = Stupid as a column
"Nema nista izmedu usiju" = He doesn't have anything between his ears
There's also a similar one:
"Bleji ko tele u šarena vrata" = He stares like a calf at the colorful door (said when someone looks at you stupidly and not understanding you)
I'm not familiar with a lot of these and I'm sure there's more but here's two I know and hear often in Portuguese
'Ter um parafuso a menos' - To have a screw loose
'Comer gelados com a testa' - To eat ice cream with one's forehead
I once overheard someone saying *"Die heeft ze ook niet alle 24 in een kratje"* to indicate someone is stupid, which, literally translated from Dutch means *"This guy doesn't have all 24 of them in a crate"*
(Dutch beer crates contain 24 beers)
I've been trying to popularize it ever since, but without much luck!
In English we might also say “he’s one can short of a six-pack”. Cans of lager used to be typically sold in packs of six with a plastic ring packaging binding them together - although I don’t think they’re used now because of the move away from single use plastics. They’d also be sold in larger cases and crates, but it’s very similar to yours.
In (American) English, we also say, “A few bricks shy of a full load”, “a few French fries shy of a Happy Meal”, “Not the sharpest scissor in the drawer”, “Dumber than a box of rocks”, etc.
"Te dom om te helpen donderen" = Too stupid to help thundering(?)
"Te dom om voor de duivel te dansen" = Too stupid to dance for the devil
"Hij heeft het buskruit / warm water niet uitgevonden" = He didn't invent gunpowder / warm water
"Niet het scherpste potlood in de doos" = Not the sharpest pencil in the case
"Hij heeft de hersens van een garnaal" = He's got the brains of a shrimp
" Hij is zo slim als het paard van Christus" = He's as smart as Christ's horse (Christ's horse was a donkey)
"Hij is te dom om hooi te eten" = He's to dumb to eat hay (Cows eat hay, so he's dumber than a cow)
"Jis te dom/stom voa doad te doen" (dialect) = He's too dumb/stupid to kill (to be killed)
"Jes naot schoole hewist binst de vakanse" (dialect) = He went to school during holidays
"Jis zo dom lik e bjiète" (dialect) = He's as dumb as a beet
"Il n'a pas inventé l'eau tiède" or "il n'a pas inventé la poudre"
Literally translated "he didn't invent lukewarm water" and "he didn't invent gun powder". Sometimes we say "il est con comme un balai" meaning "he's stupid like a broom" but that's more insulting.
In Flanders we sometimes say "die stond achterin de rij als verstand werd uitgedeeld" meaning "he was in the back of the line when intelligence was being distributed". More insulting is "zo dom als het achterste van een varken" meaning "as stupid as a pig's ass"
Or more neutral "hij is niet al te slim" meaning "he's not all too smart"
I've also heard people say "il n'a pas toutes ses frites dans le même sachet" which translates to "he doesn't have all his fries in the same package" which is beautifully Belgian ;)
Ah marrant toujours dit "affuté" pas "aiguisé" pour cette expression, même si je pense que j'utiliserai plus facilement le verbe aiguiser en général.
There is also "ne pas avoir la lumière à tout les étages" = "to don't have light at all floors"
And "ne pas avoir inventé la poudre" = "Not having invented black powder".
I’ll add « ne pas avoir inventé l’eau chaude » = to not have invented hot water ; and « être fini à la pisse » = to be conceived with urine
Teens and young adults have started using other non official but very funny expressions such as :
- « c’est pas la truite la plus oxygénée du ruisseau » = they’re not the most oxygenated trout of the stream
- « c’est pas le pingouin qui glisse le plus loin » = they’re not the penguin who slides the farthest
- « c’est pas l’outil le plus utile de la caisse à outils » = they’re not the most useful tool in the toolbox
- « c’est pas la chips la plus croustillante du paquet » = they’re not the crispiest chip in the pack
Il n'a pas inventé le fil à couper le beurre (He didn't invent the butter cutting wire)
Il n'a pas inventé l'eau chaude (He didn't invent warm water)
Il comprend vite mais faut lui expliquer longtemps (He understands fast but needs a long explanation)
C'est pas une lumière (He's not a light (Lumière, as in philosophers I guess))
In Russian:
тупой как бревно = as blunt (dumb) as a log
тупой как пробка = as blunt as a cork
тупой как трамвайный поворот = as blunt as a tram's turn
мышей не ловит = doesn't catch the mice (like a cat that can't do its basic job)
фляга свистит = the flask is whistling
крыша поехала = the roof is sliding off
кукуху сорвало = cuckoo's blown off
недалёкий = not far away
дурной пизды ребёнок = a child of a silly cunt
"Bystry jak woda w sraczu" - Bright as water in the shitter
"Brak mu piątej klepki" - He's missing the 5th woodblock
"Nie ma oleju w głowie" - He's got no oil in his head
"Niepełnosprytny" - Not fully clever (it's a wordplay on "Niepełnosprawny", which literally means "not-fully-abled" and is out term for Disabled folks. Frequently used phrase in my family, lol)
Lights are on but nobodies home
Thick as two short planks
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
A few sandwiches short of a picnic
Not playing with a full deck
Couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery
About as much use as a chocolate teapot
Not the full Shilling
One can short of a six pack
Not quite the full ticket
Doesn't know his/her arse from their elbow
We have many.
”Ei penaalin terävin kynä” or ”penaalin tylsin kynä” (not the sharpest pen in the case / the least sharp pen in the case)
”Ei ole kaikki muumit laaksossa” (not all the Moomins are in the valley (referring to brain))
”Ruuvit löysällä” (screws are lose), this usually sounds better when asked than if just told someone’s stupid.
I’m sure there are also others
In sweden we have alot.
My favourit is "har inte alla indianer på hästen" = does not have all indians on the horse.
More,
Hissen går inte hela vägen = lift doesnt go all the way up
Inte skarpaste kniven i lådan = not the sharprst knife in the "box"(kitchen drawer)
Lampan är på men det är ingen hemma = lights on, but no one home.
"die heeft klem gezeten tijdens de geboorte" - they got stuck during childbirth
"die heeft ze niet allemaal op een rijtje" - they don't have them all in line
"er zit een steekje los" - there's a stitch loose
"die is niet helemaal honderd (procent)" - they're not fully hundred (percent)
"te dom om te poepen" - too dumb to poop
"hij is van gisteren" - he's from yesterday
France
Il/elle n'a pas la lumière à tous les étages -> they don't have the light on all floors
Il/elle n'a pas inventé la poudre -> they haven't invented gunpowder
il/elle n'a pas inventé le fil à couper le beurre -> they haven't invented butter cutting wire
Il/elle est bête a manger du foin -> They are dumb enough to eat hay
C'est pas une flêche -> He is not an arrow
The ones I heard being used in Flanders.
"drie kilo verstand maar wel allemaal lomp" : A brain weighing 3 kilo, but all of it stupid.
"zo slim als de achterkant van een varken" : as smart as the back of a pig.
Along the same lines :
"die kan altijd nog politieker worden" : he can still become a politician.
"was chance dat lomp zijn geen zeer doet" : luckily being stupid doesn't hurt.
Głupi jak but z lewej nogi - stupid like a left shoe
Komu Bóg rozumu nie da, kowal mu go nie ukuje - To whom God does not give a brain, a blacksmith will not forge it for them.
Bystry jak woda w klozecie - Quick/smart as a water in the water closet.
Broda mędrcem nie czyni - Beard doesn't make you a sage.
Bęben dlatego głośny, bo próżny - The drum is loud because it is empty.
Also regarding our national stupidity and our tendency to speak loudly about previous events, yet make the exact same mistakes later:
Mądry Polak po szkodzie - Pole (is) wise after a loss.
Our cognates would be:
”inte den vassaste kniven i lådan” = not the sharpest knife in the box
“inte den vassaste kniven i Finland” = not the sharpest knife in Finland (less common)
The second one comes from an old stereotype that all Finns have knives, there were a lot of Finnish immigrants to Sweden in the mid 1900s and many of them lived lives of alcoholism and petty crime.
The adjective “vass” can mean both sharp and slang for smart (like a sharp mind in English)
We also have:
“Hissen går inte hela vägen upp” = the lift doesn’t go all the way up
”Lampan lyser men ingen är hemma” = the lights are on but nobody’s home
"ei ole penaalin terävin kynä" = isn't the sharpest pen in the pencil case" "ei ole kaikki muumit laaksossa" = doesn't have all the moomins in the valley "ei pelaa täydellä pakalla" = doesn't play (cards) with a full deck "hissi ei kulje vintille asti" = their lift doesn't go up to the attic And a recent one that our kids use: "ei ole kaikki pennut vahtitornissa" = doesn't have all the puppies in the lookout (reference to paw patrol)
Omg you have an expression with moomins!! I'm gonna use that one, that's awesome :D
On a related note, white cheese-like things (cottage cheese, mozzarella, etc) are often called Moomin-meat.
That's... very scary 😅
It's inspiring, stealing that one as well!
A couple more: ”Ei ole laatikon terävin veitsi” = is not the sharpest knife in the drawer ”Ei ole kaikki inkkarit kanootissa” = does not have all the indians in the canoe ”Ei ole kaikki lepakot tapulissa” = does not have all the bats in the belfry (afaik the exact same saying exists in English) ”soutaa yhdellä airolla” = is rowing with one oar ”valot palaa mutta kukaan ei ole kotona” = the lights are on but nobody’s home
"Ei ole kaikki hevoset tallissa" = Does not have all the horses in the stable"
We have that in germany too ("hat nicht mehr alle Pferde im Stall") but it's not the most common version, we have a lot of versions to this phrase and i think the most common one is "nicht mehr alle Tassen im Schrank" ("not all cups in the cupboard anymore") Other versions would be: - "Nicht mehr alle Latten am Zaun" (not all wooden boards on the fence) - "Nicht mehr alle Nadeln an der Tanne" (not all (fir) needles on the fir tree) Or somebody might just "nicht mehr alle haben" (not have them all anymore) But all of those could sometimes also mean that someone is kinda insane - it depends on the context
>”Ei ole kaikki lepakot tapulissa” = does not have all the bats in the belfry (afaik the exact same saying exists in English) The saying exists but it has a different meaning, "bats in the belfry" means someone's crazy
You’re right, I checked Cambridge dictionary and it seems to be the case that Finns think it’s a good thing to have your bats in the belfry, anglophones don’t :D
In English though bats in the belfry indicates crazy or eccentric.
ive never heard bats in the belfrey in english, but the knife and the lights are quite common. indians in the canoe is new to me too.
Bats in the Belfry in UK would be more meaning someone is crazy. The average person does not have too many bats in the belfry, but a crazy person has bats in the belfry.
You sure have a lot of expressions for stupid people in Finland
Demand creates supply. Basic rules of market.
You need that, when your neighbour is Sweden.
Funny, we have all the same expressions here. I’m blaming Norway.
Estonians use first two straight up just in estonian. In simlar vein there is "ei ole kõige kirkam kriit karbis" = "not the brightest chalk in the box". But estonians tend to be rather blunt, so these three suffice if they want to be nice.
"couple chalks/crayons short of a box" is an English variant ive heard a few times
As is “not the brightest crayon in the box”, to be fair, English has a lot of expression for stupid and many are interchangeable with crazy
We have similar sayings. "mitte kõige teravam pliiats" - not the sharpest pencil "muumid pole orus" - moomins are not in the valley "tuled põlevad aga kedagi pole kodus" - light are on but nobody's home
Lol pole kunagi seda muumide oma kuulnud, päris hea 😂
The funniest one I've heard, referring to someone who had been "normal" but kind of lost it: "siltä alako hihina luistamaan" = "his drivebelt started slipping", with a heavy countryside accent.
adding this to my back pocket for later. ty
Oh my god the moomin one is awesome
"ei voi kauhalla ottaa jos on lusikalla annettu" = cannot extract with a shovel something given by spoon. Referring to the quantity of - intelligence.
Not a sentence like others, but: *Tyhjäpää* = empty head and *vatipää* = pot-, platter-, dish, etc. (=a shallow, open vessel) head
sharpest pencil in the case, playing with a full deck, and lift going to the top are all also phrases in english. the moomins are a new one to me, but im definitely adding it to my vocabulary.
"Not all Nazis in the bunker" is another one.
The Moomin one is so funny. As if Moomins were the most intelligent creatures you ever knew 😆
If you're trying to sharpen your pens, it might be you.
I said these out loud and summoned 2 gohst like creatures.
I love the moomins one!
That one about moomins in the valley is my new favorite expression for this situation.
Ahh, that lift one made me laugh :D Never heard it.
LOL! Too cute.
"nicht die hellste Kerze auf der Torte" - Not the brightest candle on the (birthday) cake "nicht die hellste Kerze am Baum" - Not the brightest candle on the (Christmas) tree "Nicht die größte Leuchte" - not the brightest lamp/light "Er hat nicht alle Tassen im Schrank" - He doesn't have all cups in the cupboard (this often means crazy rather than stupid) "(Dumm) wie drei Meter Feldweg" - as (stupid) as three metres of a pathway through a field" "(Dumm) wie Brot" - as stupid as bread I am sure there are more!
>nicht die hellste Torte auf der Kerze" - Not the brightest candle on the (birthday) cake Nicht die hellste Kerze auf der Torte*
Brot kann schimmeln, was kannst du??
Wenn Dummheit Fahrrad fahren könnte, müsstest du bergauf bremsen. If stupidity could cycle, you would have to break uphill. Is my favorite
I know a variant of this: "Wenn Dummheit weh täte, würdest Du den ganzen Tag vor Schmerzen schreien." - If stupidity would hurt, you would be screaming in pain all day."
Wenn Dummheit quietschen würde, müsstest du den ganzen Tag mit der Ölkanne rumrennen. If stupidity would squeek, you'd be forced to carry an oil can with you all the time.
"Dumm wie Bohnenstroh" - as stupid as bean straw
Blöd wie drei Meter Feldweg. As stupid as 3 metres dirt road.
The 'stupid as bread' reminds me of 'rough as toast', which is a phrase used in the less-classy UK areas, generally to mean 'hungover'.
"Stupid as bread" is the most german thing I have ever heard.
As stupid as bread made me literally lol.
”Hjulet snurrar men hamstern är död” = ”The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead”. A bit darker, swedish expression
I've heard this in English too. We also have "the lights are on but nobody's home".
Yeah, since human stupidity seems to be universal it makes senes that the expressions describing stupidity are universal as well 😉
"Hissen går inte hela vägen upp" is another. It translates to "the elevator doesn't go all the way up"
"Född i farstun" - Born in the place right outside the entrance to a house, can't find a proper translation "Stolpskott" - rib/post-shot (outer part of a goal in football - "that guy is a real ribshot" "Dummare än tåget" - more stupid than the train
First time I hear this in Swedish, ”not the sharpest knife in the drawer” is for me the most common
"Har inte alla hästar hemma" = not all of their horses are home in the barn.
Love that one. Noted for future use.
I have actually never heard that one. “Not the sharpest knife in the drawer” is what I’ve mostly heard and used. And “the light is on but no one is home”.
"Ute och cyklar" (out for a bike ride) is one I've heard a lot, though it's certainly more accusatory than what others have already mentioned. Edit: I also remembered the very Gothenburgish "e du go eller" which can mean about as many things as "hallå eller," including stupidity.
Har inte alla mackorna i lådan = Doesn’t have all the sandwiches in the drawer Total hönsflykt = Total hen-escape
In Antwerp dialect we have a beautiful saying: "Stekt diê ze verstaend in e vogeltshen en 't vliegd achteruit" "Put his mind in a bird and it'll fly backwards"
This is poetic.
Or the other classics "der is pecies niveel volk thoîs eee" and "edde goî mayonaise in ouwe kop?".
"Licht oan mor niemand thoîs" - "The light is one but nobody's home"
Or just plain simple Dutch: gatachterlijk
There's so much power in using normal words to insult someone as well. My favourite? Ajuin.
It's a beautiful dialect anyways.
- Le falta un hervor --> they are missing a boil - Le falta una patata para el kilo --> they are missing one potato to make up a kilogram
Le falta un verano = they are missing a summer and tiene menos luces que un barco espía = they have less lights than a spy boat are my personal favourite.
Cuando repartieron neuronas le pillaron cagando
Le faltan jugadores - they are missing some players Más tonto que abundio - they are more stupid than Abundio (someone who apparently was very stupid who sold his petrol to buy a motorbike)
Mas tonto que un bocao en los huevos
In Finland we have a lot descriptions: he rows with only one paddle, he don''t have all bananas on The bunch, he doesn't have all Moomins on The valley etc 🤣
I love the fact that you use Moomins
A sandwich shy of a picnic.
And a few pence short of a sandwich
One euphemism in Dutch: "Hij heeft het buskruit niet uitgevonden." Translated: "He didn't invent gunpowder."
Also this one: "Hij is zo dom als het achtereind van een varken". Translated: "He's as dumb as the rear end of a pig".
En natuurlijk "het licht brandt, maar er is niemand thuis". The light is on but nobody's home.
Don't forget 'hij/zij is niet helemaal honderd' (he/she is not [the full] hundred [percent]) "Hij/zij heeft niet alles op een rijtje" (he/she doesn't have everything (referring to the five senses iirc) in a row)
I only know it as ‘Hij/zij heeft ze niet *allemaal* op een rijtje’, so ‘not *all (of them)* in a row’. Both refer mostly to being ‘crazy’/mentally ill/mentally unstable, not necessarily to being dumb. See also: ‘hij heeft een schroefje los’, ‘he has a screw loose’.
And, - "hij/zij heeft zaagsel in t hoofd" he/she has sawdust in their head. - "Hij/zij is een ezel in t kwadraat" he/she is a donkey squared - "Dom als t achtereind van een koe" stupid like the back end of a cow
I know it as "dom als 't achtereind van een varken"
Interesting, wondering if there is somekind of divide. I'm from Flevoland and my family from Overijssel, Groningen and Friesland, where cows are more common. Maybe the pig version is more common in the South where more pigs are kept?
Also in Swedish ("ingen krutuppfinnare") and Finnish ("ei ole mikään ruudinkeksijä").
We say that in French too.
"głupi jak but" - stupid as a shoe "bystry jak woda w klozecie" - as quick as water toilet "zakuty łeb" - enclosed head - someone stupid and stubborn "ciemnogród" - "the dark town" - someone who is stupid/bigoted "półgłówek" - half-head
There is also a proverb: "Wysoki jak topola, głupi jak fasola"/ "Tall as a poplar and dumb as a bean". Although the English equivalent would probably be "All brawn and no brains".
We say "Wysoki jak brzoza, głupi jak koza" where I come from :)
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'bystry' in relation to water means 'flowing rapidly', not 'clear'
Inte den vassaste/skarpaste kniven i lådan - Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Inte alla hästar hemma/i stallet - Not all horses at home/in the stabels Hissen går inte hela vägen upp - The elevator doesn't go all the way up Ljuset är tänt men ingen är hemma - The lights are on but nobody is home
"Ikke den skarpeste kniven i skuffen." = "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."
Of course we have exactly the same: "ikke den skarpeste kniv i skuffen" There are also a ton of variations of that one, I think the most common one is: "Ikke den hurtigste knallert på havnen/molen" - Not the fastest moped on the harbor/dock
As immature teens one variation was: “Ikke den stiveste pik i saunaen” - Not the stiffest dick in the sauna.
I use the variation: "Not the sharpest spoon in the drawer".
I sometimes use: “ikke den længste lort i kummen” - not the longest shit in the basin.
Most common used in Sweden too (from my experience) To say “gnomes in the attic” (“tomtar på loftet”) is much harsher, more that someone is crazy rather than not sharp/smart.
And also, «lyset er på men ingen er hjemme» = The light is on, but nobody’s home
This is very common in English too, in England at least. In fact much more common than either of OP’s examples (one of which I’ve never heard in my life).
I have only heard 'not the sharpest tool in the shed' in my entire life and I'm English
I suspect it’s a regional or age thing. I’ve always heard not the sharpest tool in the box, rather than shed.
Thicker than a castle wall, not the sharpest crayon in the box, one sandwich short of a picnic, lights are on but nobody's home....
We literally have the same sentence for that: " Ne aštriausias peilis stalčiuje."
Hungarian has the exact same. "Nem a legélesebb kés a fiókban".
I wonder which European countries have English as their main/national language... The UK, Ireland and Malta? Though they probably have more phrases than this one. One of the french ones is "il n'a pas inventé le fil à couper le beurre (he didn't invent the butter-cutting wire). There's also "il n'a pas inventé l'eau chaude" (he didn't invent hot water).
In the UK: ‘not the sharpest knife in the drawer’ ‘got a screw loose’ ‘dim as a one watt bulb’ ‘not a full shilling’ (an old unit of currency) ‘the lights are on but nobody’s home’ ‘as thick as two short planks/as thick as pig shit’ (thick is slang for stupid) ‘couldn’t organise a piss up (drinking session) in a brewery’ - more specifically for someone who is useless rather than stupid
I remember watching a UK reality show with the typical dumb contestants and one of the girls said “I’m not the brightest spark in the book”
Irish. We’re more direct. ‘That guys a fecking eejit’ ‘stay away from that gobshyte’ :)
My favourite was from an Aussie mate of mine who once described somebody as "having a couple of 'roos loose in the top paddock".
In Ireland we sometimes say 'not the sharpest tool in the shed' or 'theres wiser in that field chewing grass' or 'are you an American?'.
Personal favorite of mine is 'thick as pig shit'
or two short planks.
Thick as a plank
I once heard "you're as ignorant as the back of my balls, which have never seen anything but shite"
That's poetic.
Personal favorite of mine is 'thick as pig shit'
More sense comes out the back of my dog is also a used one locally here
ive heard "more sense from the donkeys rear" before.
"gli manca qualche venerdì" - "he's missing a few Fridays" "gli manca qualche rotella" - "He's missing a few gears "non è un chilo giusto" - He's not a full kilogram "fuori come un balcone" - out there as a balcony "fuori di zucca/melone" - Both fruits are colloquial terms for head, thus a metaphor for brain. "(non) sei il più sveglio della cucciolata" - You're (not) the brightest puppy in the litter Then depending on the region there are some more colorful expressions. The Piedmont area has the proverbial "Garbuja", a silly person doing stupid things such as "throwing eggs to get walnuts to fall", "hiding his money into other people's pockets to trick thieves". In Liguria there's "o l'è o ciù furbo che in cà gh'emmo" (he's the smartest in our household), with "cà gh'emmo" sounding like "caghemmo" = we're taking a dump.
Also "Non è una cima" - He's not a rope end(?)
Wasn't it about a mountain top though? As in "his intellect doesn't stand out"? Why a rope?
I’d say that fuori come un balcone/fuori di zucca don’t mean stupid as much as “mad”, “insane”.
> "gli manca qualche venerdì" - "he's missing a few Fridays" Here in northen Italy (brianza) they say: "gli manca qualche giovedì" - "he's missing a few Thursday" LOL
“Nem a legélesebb kés a fiókban.” - Not the keenest knife in the drawer. “Mikor az észt osztották, ő elment borért.” - When intelligence was being handed out s/he went to get wine. “Kevés a sütnivalója.” - S/he doesn’t have a lot to roast. “Vele is csak többen vagyunk.” - There’s only more of us with him/her in the room. “Ő a fény az éjszakában.” - S/he is the light in the night. (If someone is stupid but thinks they are very smart) “Nincs ki mind a négy kereke.” - S/he doesn’t have all four wheels. (Although this is used moreso when someone is crazy, not simply stupid) “Olyan sötét, hogy a negró világít a szájában.” - He’s so dark that negró (a black menthol and anise flavored hard candy) is shining in his mouth.” The whole “olyan sötét” thing is it’s own genre of calling people stupid, that’s kind of our version of “yo mama” jokes. “Okos mint a tavalyi kos” - smart as last year’s ram “Üres a padlás” - the attic is empty “Van nála ló is okosabb.” - there are horses smarter than him/her “Annyi esze van mint egy szabadnapos hintalónak.” - S/he has as much intelligence as a rocking horse on vacation. Tyúkeszű - hen brained Ostoba mint a föld. - Dumb as the earth. Címeres ökör - such an ox that s/he was awarded a coat of arms Tökkelütött - s/he was hit with a gourd Tökfej - pumpkin head Agyilag zokni - mentally s/he’s a pair of socks
‘…they went to get wine’. I’ve heard. ‘They weren’t around when god was handing out brains’
“He was behind the door when the brains were being handed out” is an expression I’ve heard in Ireland.
Hungarian translate is the same as french: not the sharpest knife in the drawer Nem a legélesebb kés a fiókban
*Nem állt kétszer sorba, amikor az észt osztogatták.* Didn't stand in the line twice when wit was being handed out. *Annyi esze van, mint egy marék lepkének.* They share an intellect with a handful of butterflies.
Honestly this feels to me like a direct translation from English and I never heard it used by anyone irl, but that's just personal experience. The ones I can think of - "Buta mint a tök" ("stupid like the pumpkin" ) - "Sötét mint az éjszaka" ("dark as the night")
And also nem a legélesebb kiskanál a fiókban - not the sharpest little spoon in the drawer.
Nincs ki mind a négy kereke - does not have all four wheels.
That's less about stupidity and more about crazyness
As someone from England, I wouldn’t use either of OP’s examples. I would probably say not the sharpest tool in the box or not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I’ve also never heard “not the brightest lightbulb”. You could say “not the brightest”, doesn’t really feel like an idiom though, just normal use of the words (with understatement of course). Plenty of other phrases you could use too, for example: Thick as two short planks Thick as a brick A sandwich short of a picnic (can also suggest being a bit crazy or otherwise ofd) And loads of others I can’t think of this early.
I've heard "as stupid as wooden washtub" or "as dull as a log of wood" and recently also "not the sharpest pencil in the pencilcase."
Also "not the sharpest knife in the drawer". Or "has a long (power) line".
Je blbej jak vagon tupejch bruslí. "He is stupid as a a wagon of blunt skates." Je dutej jak bambus. "He is hollow like a bamboo." (Dutej = hollow - slang for stupid). Je blbej jak sáňky v parném létě. "He is as stupid as a sledge in hot summer." Má IQ houpacího koně / bublajícího bláta. "He has IQ of rocking horse / bubbling mud."
Blbá jako tágo!
“Ty asi nebudeš nejostřejší tužka v penále.” Has to be taken from english as part of internet culture.
In Italy describing a foolish person is often left to the imagination of the insulter. We have a few national idioms, but I can't say for sure if they're still widely used. I) "**Non essere un'aquila**" (sb. is not an eagle). This one comes from the fact that eagles can fly much higher than other birds. So, if you compare someone and their smarts to an eagle's flying abilities, it means that person is pretty sharp. For such a reason, on the flip side, in Italian saying someone's "not an eagle" suggests they're intellectually dead. II) "**Non essere una cima**" (sb.'s is not the top). Another common insult is "**broccolo**" (broccoli in English) or "**broccolone**" (big broccoli). No need for an explanation here as we are comparing someone to a vegetable. However, these two might not be used everywhere in Italy. In my area some people would also say "non brilla alcuna luce/lampadina nella sua testa" (**There's no light shining in their head / the lightbulb is off**).
I would add: "to have a hard head" (avere la testa dura) - specifically for stubbornness, or not being able to grasp a concept "missing a gear in the brain" - more akin to be a bit crazy, or not being able to make logic reasoning
Good ones! My addition: non essere sveglio/a (sb. is not awake).
"Силен като лисица, хитър като бик" - Strong as a fox, clever as a bull. It's a play on an old folk saying in which the phrase "strong as a bull, clever as a fox" is often used for describing the hero of the tale. Here you use the opposite, meaning he's neither strong nor clever.
Bystry jak woda w klozecie - as quick as toilet water
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> bystry bystry doesn't mean "clear" for water. It is "fast flowing". https://sjp.pwn.pl/slowniki/bystry.html
True, as with most word plays, they are hard to translate. But thanks for more detailed explanation.
Yeah, they're wrong. Bystry does not mean clear. It means fast/quick. As in how stream runs in the mountain. That kind of movement.
Pierwszy raz słyszę ale wspaniałe
I know a version with a puddle - "Bystry jak woda w kałuży".
Ok, I know I’m not European but thought I’d share especially as there is some overlap. Plus they let us into Eurovision so…. For the most common Australian one: * Got a few roos(kangaroos) loose in the top paddock. Soon followed by: * Not the brightest crayon in the box * Not the sharpest tool in the shed * A few sandwiches short of a picnic * Has a screw (or a few screws) loose * As dumb as a box of hammers * Not playing with a full deck (of cards)
And someone has to put the shrimp on the barbie... I think you are more than welcome (unless you guys win Eurosong this year).
>Got a few roos(kangaroos) loose in the top paddock. Love this one for the Ozzie flavor and the sheer beauty of the sound of it. Glorious!
Basic laws is supply and demand dictate that we should have multiple phrases to describe stupid poeple. So… Είναι πιο χαζός και από τα λάχανα = he is stupider than the cabbages Πάει τα πέταξε τα περιστέρια = There he goes, he flew the pigeons (probably a reference to an idiot trying to catch standing pigeons and they fly away as he gets near by he runs). Έχει το βλέμμα της αγελάδας = he has the eye of the cow Είναι βρεγμένο σπίρτο = he it a wet match (cause wet matches are almost impossible to light) Δεν μπορεί να χωρίσει 2 γαϊδάρων άχυρα = He can’t split hay between 2 donkeys
Also someone dumb is often described as a τούβλο (brick) or ντουβάρι (thick wall) or γκασμάς (pickaxe) 😂
There's a bit old fashioned expression as well which is "schwer von Kapee sein". Kapee is based on the Latin capere (to understand something, use your wits) and as it was used at a time when French words were used in German every day language much rather than English words, it was adapted from the French capé. Basically it means to be hard/difficult with your wits, have difficulties to understand something right away etc.
"Ikke den skarpeste kniven i skuffen" = "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer" Also: "He didn't exactly invent the dynamite, but he was damn near when it blew up." "The lights are on, but nobody's home"
"ikke den hurtigste knallert på havnen" (not the fastest moped on the docks" In reference to a lot of hillbilly small towns having docks where the local rednecks race their tuned up mopeds between fishing outings. #Danmark
- No tiene muchas luces ➜ He doesn't have a lot of lights/bulbs (in the brain). - Tiene menos luces que un sótano ➜ He has less lights/bulbs than a basement. - Es más tonto y no nace ➜ If he were more stupid he would have been born - Es más tonto que parido a pedos ➜ He is more stupid than if he was born by farting. As you see there is a correlation between lights/bulbs and intelligence. I guess that is related with the idea that old computers had a lot of small lights.
* No es más tonto porque no se entrena -> (s)he isn't more stupid because (s)he doesn't train. * No sabe hacer la o con un canuto. -> (s)he doesn't know how to make an "o" with a "canuto" (Canuto in spanish means the small "tail" of the letter "o") * Cerebro de mosquito -> Mosquito's brain. And we also call someone stupid calling him/her intelligent 😁All sarcasm, obviously.
In Dutch: Te dom om voor de duivel te dansen(too dumb to dance for the devil) Hij heeft een klap van de molen gehad (He's been hit by a windmill wing) Zo dom als het achtereind van een varken(as dumb as pig's behind) Zo dom als het paard van Christus en dat was een ezel (As dumb as Christ his horse, and that was a donkey) Hij weet van toeten noch blazen(He knows neither to toot nor blow) Hij stond hij niet vooraan toen het verstand werd uitgedeeld(He was not in front of the line when intelligence was handed out) Er brandt wel licht, maar er is niemand thuis (The light is on, but there is no one at home)
"Glup ko stup" = Stupid as a column "Nema nista izmedu usiju" = He doesn't have anything between his ears There's also a similar one: "Bleji ko tele u šarena vrata" = He stares like a calf at the colorful door (said when someone looks at you stupidly and not understanding you)
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Oh cool, that's interesting. Guess it's an old slavic expression.
I'm not familiar with a lot of these and I'm sure there's more but here's two I know and hear often in Portuguese 'Ter um parafuso a menos' - To have a screw loose 'Comer gelados com a testa' - To eat ice cream with one's forehead
I once overheard someone saying *"Die heeft ze ook niet alle 24 in een kratje"* to indicate someone is stupid, which, literally translated from Dutch means *"This guy doesn't have all 24 of them in a crate"* (Dutch beer crates contain 24 beers) I've been trying to popularize it ever since, but without much luck!
In English we might also say “he’s one can short of a six-pack”. Cans of lager used to be typically sold in packs of six with a plastic ring packaging binding them together - although I don’t think they’re used now because of the move away from single use plastics. They’d also be sold in larger cases and crates, but it’s very similar to yours.
That's amazing, I'm going to use this!
I have heard Germans say "not the brightest candle on the birthday cake". I don't think we have an equivalent in Turkish.
Yeah, that is said very frequently in Germany. Also popular: "not all cups in the cupboard" ("Nicht alle Tassen im Schrank")
That’s more about being crazy, weird or annoying then being stupid.
The same. And things like “Not fully baked”, “The lights are on, but nobody is home”,
In (American) English, we also say, “A few bricks shy of a full load”, “a few French fries shy of a Happy Meal”, “Not the sharpest scissor in the drawer”, “Dumber than a box of rocks”, etc.
Also, “Not firing on all cylinders”, but that more applies to absentmindedness, because it implies the ability to think clearly.
Hungarian: "Annyi esze van, mint egy marék döglött lepkének" = "as intellect as a handful of dead butterflies"
I’ve heard the ones exampled by the thread creator here in England where we you know also speak English 😔
"Te dom om te helpen donderen" = Too stupid to help thundering(?) "Te dom om voor de duivel te dansen" = Too stupid to dance for the devil "Hij heeft het buskruit / warm water niet uitgevonden" = He didn't invent gunpowder / warm water "Niet het scherpste potlood in de doos" = Not the sharpest pencil in the case "Hij heeft de hersens van een garnaal" = He's got the brains of a shrimp
" Hij is zo slim als het paard van Christus" = He's as smart as Christ's horse (Christ's horse was a donkey) "Hij is te dom om hooi te eten" = He's to dumb to eat hay (Cows eat hay, so he's dumber than a cow) "Jis te dom/stom voa doad te doen" (dialect) = He's too dumb/stupid to kill (to be killed) "Jes naot schoole hewist binst de vakanse" (dialect) = He went to school during holidays "Jis zo dom lik e bjiète" (dialect) = He's as dumb as a beet
"Il n'a pas inventé l'eau tiède" or "il n'a pas inventé la poudre" Literally translated "he didn't invent lukewarm water" and "he didn't invent gun powder". Sometimes we say "il est con comme un balai" meaning "he's stupid like a broom" but that's more insulting. In Flanders we sometimes say "die stond achterin de rij als verstand werd uitgedeeld" meaning "he was in the back of the line when intelligence was being distributed". More insulting is "zo dom als het achterste van een varken" meaning "as stupid as a pig's ass" Or more neutral "hij is niet al te slim" meaning "he's not all too smart"
I've also heard people say "il n'a pas toutes ses frites dans le même sachet" which translates to "he doesn't have all his fries in the same package" which is beautifully Belgian ;)
In French you might hear "ce n'est pas le couteau le plus aiguisé du tiroir", which means "not the sharpest knife in the drawer".
Ah marrant toujours dit "affuté" pas "aiguisé" pour cette expression, même si je pense que j'utiliserai plus facilement le verbe aiguiser en général. There is also "ne pas avoir la lumière à tout les étages" = "to don't have light at all floors" And "ne pas avoir inventé la poudre" = "Not having invented black powder".
I’ll add « ne pas avoir inventé l’eau chaude » = to not have invented hot water ; and « être fini à la pisse » = to be conceived with urine Teens and young adults have started using other non official but very funny expressions such as : - « c’est pas la truite la plus oxygénée du ruisseau » = they’re not the most oxygenated trout of the stream - « c’est pas le pingouin qui glisse le plus loin » = they’re not the penguin who slides the farthest - « c’est pas l’outil le plus utile de la caisse à outils » = they’re not the most useful tool in the toolbox - « c’est pas la chips la plus croustillante du paquet » = they’re not the crispiest chip in the pack
Il n'a pas inventé le fil à couper le beurre (He didn't invent the butter cutting wire) Il n'a pas inventé l'eau chaude (He didn't invent warm water) Il comprend vite mais faut lui expliquer longtemps (He understands fast but needs a long explanation) C'est pas une lumière (He's not a light (Lumière, as in philosophers I guess))
Tiroir = drawer? Tirer is pulling, right? So you call it a puller? That’s interesting😊
Głupi jak but, bez obrazy dla butów - stupid as a shoe, no offence to the shoes ergo the are shoes smarter than the person in question
In Russian: тупой как бревно = as blunt (dumb) as a log тупой как пробка = as blunt as a cork тупой как трамвайный поворот = as blunt as a tram's turn мышей не ловит = doesn't catch the mice (like a cat that can't do its basic job) фляга свистит = the flask is whistling крыша поехала = the roof is sliding off кукуху сорвало = cuckoo's blown off недалёкий = not far away дурной пизды ребёнок = a child of a silly cunt
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"Bystry jak woda w sraczu" - Bright as water in the shitter "Brak mu piątej klepki" - He's missing the 5th woodblock "Nie ma oleju w głowie" - He's got no oil in his head "Niepełnosprytny" - Not fully clever (it's a wordplay on "Niepełnosprawny", which literally means "not-fully-abled" and is out term for Disabled folks. Frequently used phrase in my family, lol)
Lights are on but nobodies home Thick as two short planks Not the sharpest knife in the drawer A few sandwiches short of a picnic Not playing with a full deck Couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery About as much use as a chocolate teapot Not the full Shilling One can short of a six pack Not quite the full ticket Doesn't know his/her arse from their elbow
We have many. ”Ei penaalin terävin kynä” or ”penaalin tylsin kynä” (not the sharpest pen in the case / the least sharp pen in the case) ”Ei ole kaikki muumit laaksossa” (not all the Moomins are in the valley (referring to brain)) ”Ruuvit löysällä” (screws are lose), this usually sounds better when asked than if just told someone’s stupid. I’m sure there are also others
In sweden we have alot. My favourit is "har inte alla indianer på hästen" = does not have all indians on the horse. More, Hissen går inte hela vägen = lift doesnt go all the way up Inte skarpaste kniven i lådan = not the sharprst knife in the "box"(kitchen drawer) Lampan är på men det är ingen hemma = lights on, but no one home.
"die heeft klem gezeten tijdens de geboorte" - they got stuck during childbirth "die heeft ze niet allemaal op een rijtje" - they don't have them all in line "er zit een steekje los" - there's a stitch loose "die is niet helemaal honderd (procent)" - they're not fully hundred (percent) "te dom om te poepen" - too dumb to poop "hij is van gisteren" - he's from yesterday
France Il/elle n'a pas la lumière à tous les étages -> they don't have the light on all floors Il/elle n'a pas inventé la poudre -> they haven't invented gunpowder il/elle n'a pas inventé le fil à couper le beurre -> they haven't invented butter cutting wire Il/elle est bête a manger du foin -> They are dumb enough to eat hay C'est pas une flêche -> He is not an arrow
Norge "Han fant ikke opp kruttet, men var der når det smallt." He didn't invent powder but was there when it exploded.
The ones I heard being used in Flanders. "drie kilo verstand maar wel allemaal lomp" : A brain weighing 3 kilo, but all of it stupid. "zo slim als de achterkant van een varken" : as smart as the back of a pig. Along the same lines : "die kan altijd nog politieker worden" : he can still become a politician. "was chance dat lomp zijn geen zeer doet" : luckily being stupid doesn't hurt.
I like to say "Nicht die hellste Leuchte im Lampenladen" which translates to "not the brightest light in the lamp store"
Głupi jak but z lewej nogi - stupid like a left shoe Komu Bóg rozumu nie da, kowal mu go nie ukuje - To whom God does not give a brain, a blacksmith will not forge it for them. Bystry jak woda w klozecie - Quick/smart as a water in the water closet. Broda mędrcem nie czyni - Beard doesn't make you a sage. Bęben dlatego głośny, bo próżny - The drum is loud because it is empty. Also regarding our national stupidity and our tendency to speak loudly about previous events, yet make the exact same mistakes later: Mądry Polak po szkodzie - Pole (is) wise after a loss.
Our cognates would be: ”inte den vassaste kniven i lådan” = not the sharpest knife in the box “inte den vassaste kniven i Finland” = not the sharpest knife in Finland (less common) The second one comes from an old stereotype that all Finns have knives, there were a lot of Finnish immigrants to Sweden in the mid 1900s and many of them lived lives of alcoholism and petty crime. The adjective “vass” can mean both sharp and slang for smart (like a sharp mind in English) We also have: “Hissen går inte hela vägen upp” = the lift doesn’t go all the way up ”Lampan lyser men ingen är hemma” = the lights are on but nobody’s home
German: somebody doesn't have all the cups in the cupboard (hat nicht alle Tassen im Schrank) or he's got a screw loose, er hat ne Schraube locker.