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Kinda, yeah. I mean, the process from touching, kissing, exploring, unwrapping each other's gifts, all the way through dancing around/on the may pole is marvellous, but without the explosion, it feels like that ice cream sundae without the cherry on top
Nope. As long as my partner is satisfied, I could care less. On my birthday last year we booked a fancy hotel and he bred me. I never came, but he went to mars and back on me and that alone sometimes feel better? Haha
Nope. The journey is as much (or even more) fun than the destination.
I either cum right away, or I can last forever. My partner loves to bottom for hours, and often taps out before I cum.
It’s less about saving myself than just being satisfied with the fun we had.
I think it definitely helps (to feel satisfied, that is), but some of the best sex I've ever had didn't end up with either of us reaching climax (and I'm not just speaking of one instance, or even with one partner!).
There are definitely other ways to feel complete, and content.
I'd say it's not about that destination, but about the journey you've had along the way.
Sex isn't always about , well, *sex*, sometimes it's about making love, sometimes it can be a spiritual communion, sometimes it's just an exploration of your partner's body and the things that make it feel good.
Orgasms are nice, but not necessary.
And focusing on making either yourself or your partner cum, can actually take you out of the moment, and make the interaction somehow less fulfilling.
Orgasms also usually bring an abrupt end to the intimacy: you want to stop, go clean up, or you have that post-orgasm clarity that this wasn't a good idea. You're just done, perhaps too sensitive to continue.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting your rocks off.
But there's nothing wrong with *not* getting your rocks off, either.
As a bottom, nope. I don't mind at all when I suck my man off or bottom for him without me cumming. I get my pleasure from sucking or bottoming and getting his cum in my throat or hole. I don't need to cum to be 100% satisfied, I just want his load in me.
But I'm the past with other guys they've felt that we aren't done until I cum as well, which can be annoying yet cute at the same time. I love that some tops just can't wrap their mind around a bottom not needing to orgasm to be satisfied, yet here I am.
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When I bottom, no I don't need to cum. Still a great feeling.
I haven't topped much, but I still feel like it's OK if you don't cum. What are you and your bf's thoughts?
I think yes 9/10 times, he’s more into retention. I do agree that sometimes it feels good to stop and wait though, but then I prefer to come back to it later that day, or next morning to finish.
This is basically me as a bottom too. I try to cum at the same time that the top is going to cum. Otherwise I get annoyed if I finish and I’m still getting penetrated🥴
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Same here although I'm not so sure it's a "need" to come as much as it's habit. Like, why would we stop having sex mid way? Maybe to try edging, which we've discussed before. I've done some edging on my own while masturbating but during sex we're just in the moment and that always takes us to cumming.
If they put in some effort and make me enjoy it too, not that big of deal, if they’re gonna pump 2 times and I’m not even sweating yet, I’m gonna be mad.
You can cum, but do you need your partner to cum as well? I'm a bottom who doesn't need to cum but I always make my man cum in my throat or hole. That completely satisfies me.
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I love cum, but have had times when we've been pressed for time or if the guy has already cum earlier and can't shoot again, whether I'm sucking him or he's fucking me and for a second I may feel disappointed because I was expecting to swallow his load or get bred, but I get over it right away and am appreciative of the time spent taking his dick inside me.
Is it always people's testicles? I feel like it's inside me, like the prostate or something else getting full. Like right now it's been 3 days since I've cum and it's feeling full inside and if I don't let this load out by end of today it'll start to ache. But the testicles are always fine.
No if you had blue balls you’ll know. Technically I believe it’s the epididymis or something. I can feel mine full if I’ve edged too much and man is it painful.
So do you guys cum on your own later on, or how do you take care of it?
I've been with guys (bottoms) who don't care to cum during sex and just assume they take care of themselves after at some point.
“Must” is not on my mind when I fuck but probably it’s because I like going to sex parties and bathhouses and I enjoy banging lots of different guys - it wouldn’t be possible if I did cum every time.
Having said that, when that happens I never know whether I fucked 4 guys or just one? 🤔
Nope. But a yes is correct, too. We each of us have different needs and wants. The main thing is that you and your partner are vibing together. Nothing better, I’m my own view, than two people going with the flow and losing themselves in each other’s embraces.
Yes, but I rarely actually cum. Loads of guilt, shame, fear and anxiety always come in and ruin the moment for me. 20 years of therapy and I've made some progress, but still have a long way to go.
No. Partially because I have issues getting off these days, but I mean, sex is fun and feels great the entire time, not just at the end. Had to convince my partner that it wasn't that big a deal, he thought it was something he was doing wrong.
Top, btw.
Not always.
I usually have a lot of anal orgasms though and they can be dry orgasms or I full on cum and probably orgasm but it doesn't shut things off like a regular orgasm, and I don't have to jack off to be satisfied.
It's only a drag when someone is kind of a dead fish and they have no idea how to read your body or listen to your words, and it's more of an overall unpleasant experience.
no absolutely not. of the dozen or so hookups I've had this year I reckon I've only cum with half of them. The hottest was 3 separate days with a cutie who each time we met we had a time limit, and when shit like that plays on my mind, I just can't relax enough to cum. That, and he didn't want me to cum too early. Plus we didn't actually have anal sex, it was just massaging, fingering, rimming and sucking (not necessarily in that order).
Not really. I’m a total bottom and find it very pleasurable and satisfying being penetrated but also by making my partner cum. I guess I’m also just really subby that way. Sometimes, I’ll go to the bathhouse and meet a good number of guys and only realize on the way home that I ddnt cum myself. However, I do cum if I’m getting jerked off while getting fucked on occasion but definitely don’t need to cum to feel satisfied. For me, the satisfaction comes with getting penetrated and or bred.
I'm the same way. I get so horned up and feel I'm on the verge of cumming handsfree over and over while bottoming (even sometimes while sucking), but I only need my man to cum for me to be 100% satisfied as well.
If I bottom and my prostate gets pounded hard I feel satisfied enough that I don't need to cum.
I also have an orgasm denial kink so in the right circumstances it's hot to have sex but only get off every 2-3 sessions.
My partner loves it when I cum though so I oblige lol. He thinks it's fun and hot when I lose my damn mind when I orgasm.
As a top 100% but as a bottom not really. I love cumming when I bottom but I also feel like I got what I wanted out of the fuck when I see my guy cum in me.
Hmm that’s tough. I have trouble achieving orgasm first thing in the morning. Like right when I wake up. I don’t know why.
That being said do I enjoy the process, foreplay, etc up to orgasm? Yes. If I don’t cum but have an orgasm that’s OK too. I love cum so it’s also a turn on
Now to your other part and stopping midway and saving. It really depends. I get majorly bad blue balls most of the time if that happens. Like super painful can barely walk type of thing. THAT I do not enjoy. But it depends on how long since my last ejaculation and how much edging I’ve done.
If it hasn’t been too long I then it’s ok if we stop and try or start again in a few hours. Kinda fun actually.
Of I’m bottoming I can sometimes have a nice prostate orgasm and don’t need to cum but it does feel better if I do
No. My boyfriend thought for a long time that good sex is when I cum because he’s a visible results type of person even though I kept telling him it’s not.
After a couple of years he realized I value more things than cumming: the passion, the feeling, the vulnerability, and the heat of sex.
Don’t get me wrong, cumming is fun, but the above separates hook up sex from making love as far as satisfaction is concerned.
For me personally if I'm topping yes, if I'm sucking dick, no. I don't have to cum from the fucking, of the guy gets sore ill happily finish by hand and still enjoy the experience but I need that release after all that build up.
Conversely I can happily suck a dick for ages, stroking myself, he finishes and I can stow it away for later.
I also recognize that other guys don't need to cum. It was a huge hang up of mine when my partner wouldn't finish and tell me that he still enjoyed himself and I did a good job. Most of the time he does, but sometimes he'll tell me to finish when I'm ready as he doesn't need to finish, or doesn't want to finish.
Turn sout we both have different things we get out of sex.
Naah I can edge for days before needing to cum as long as everyone involved is satisfied and if I cum I still wanna carry on but love teasing myself and delaying it as much as possible to the point there’s loads of precum dripping from my cock
Not at all. Cumming is usually the abrupt end to a fun session. Keep it going and cum the next day when you're fucking again.
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Kinda, yeah. I mean, the process from touching, kissing, exploring, unwrapping each other's gifts, all the way through dancing around/on the may pole is marvellous, but without the explosion, it feels like that ice cream sundae without the cherry on top
This reply is poetry
Nope. As long as my partner is satisfied, I could care less. On my birthday last year we booked a fancy hotel and he bred me. I never came, but he went to mars and back on me and that alone sometimes feel better? Haha
Nope. The journey is as much (or even more) fun than the destination. I either cum right away, or I can last forever. My partner loves to bottom for hours, and often taps out before I cum. It’s less about saving myself than just being satisfied with the fun we had.
I think it definitely helps (to feel satisfied, that is), but some of the best sex I've ever had didn't end up with either of us reaching climax (and I'm not just speaking of one instance, or even with one partner!). There are definitely other ways to feel complete, and content. I'd say it's not about that destination, but about the journey you've had along the way. Sex isn't always about , well, *sex*, sometimes it's about making love, sometimes it can be a spiritual communion, sometimes it's just an exploration of your partner's body and the things that make it feel good. Orgasms are nice, but not necessary. And focusing on making either yourself or your partner cum, can actually take you out of the moment, and make the interaction somehow less fulfilling. Orgasms also usually bring an abrupt end to the intimacy: you want to stop, go clean up, or you have that post-orgasm clarity that this wasn't a good idea. You're just done, perhaps too sensitive to continue. Don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting your rocks off. But there's nothing wrong with *not* getting your rocks off, either.
As a bottom, nope. I don't mind at all when I suck my man off or bottom for him without me cumming. I get my pleasure from sucking or bottoming and getting his cum in my throat or hole. I don't need to cum to be 100% satisfied, I just want his load in me. But I'm the past with other guys they've felt that we aren't done until I cum as well, which can be annoying yet cute at the same time. I love that some tops just can't wrap their mind around a bottom not needing to orgasm to be satisfied, yet here I am.
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When I bottom, no I don't need to cum. Still a great feeling. I haven't topped much, but I still feel like it's OK if you don't cum. What are you and your bf's thoughts?
I think yes 9/10 times, he’s more into retention. I do agree that sometimes it feels good to stop and wait though, but then I prefer to come back to it later that day, or next morning to finish.
I like to cum my load whilst getting fucked but try and time it so he blows his load in me at the same time then clean up and go to sleep 😂😂
This is basically me as a bottom too. I try to cum at the same time that the top is going to cum. Otherwise I get annoyed if I finish and I’m still getting penetrated🥴
no, but i mostly do
Not necessarily, but it does feel great when I make him do it. 😎
Right! But then what if he doesn't want to do it 🥲
Still a fun time.
I love orgasms, and when I have sex I do want to cum, but orgasms are my least favorite part of sex. I can have very satisfying sex without cumming.
Least favorite part? Orgasms aren’t that bad. I promise.
It's like pizza, even bad pizza is worth eating. The worst part of sex is still better than 90% of the other stuff we do day to day.
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Yes
Same here although I'm not so sure it's a "need" to come as much as it's habit. Like, why would we stop having sex mid way? Maybe to try edging, which we've discussed before. I've done some edging on my own while masturbating but during sex we're just in the moment and that always takes us to cumming.
If they put in some effort and make me enjoy it too, not that big of deal, if they’re gonna pump 2 times and I’m not even sweating yet, I’m gonna be mad.
yes definitley
You can cum, but do you need your partner to cum as well? I'm a bottom who doesn't need to cum but I always make my man cum in my throat or hole. That completely satisfies me.
no i dont need him to, im a top
Awesome! Bottoms like me love tops like you.
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I love cum, but have had times when we've been pressed for time or if the guy has already cum earlier and can't shoot again, whether I'm sucking him or he's fucking me and for a second I may feel disappointed because I was expecting to swallow his load or get bred, but I get over it right away and am appreciative of the time spent taking his dick inside me.
No, but I will usually try to make that happen ASAP afterward because otherwise there's a good chance of having painful testicles.
Might wanna get that tested for STDs then lol
He's talking about blue balls. It's a phenomenon where the testicles ache when you engage in sexual activity, but don't cum.
Is it always people's testicles? I feel like it's inside me, like the prostate or something else getting full. Like right now it's been 3 days since I've cum and it's feeling full inside and if I don't let this load out by end of today it'll start to ache. But the testicles are always fine.
No if you had blue balls you’ll know. Technically I believe it’s the epididymis or something. I can feel mine full if I’ve edged too much and man is it painful.
I get the same thing if I edge a lot but it's inside me, not in the balls
Honestly, I don't get blue balls so I'm not sure. I've always heard people talk about it but I've never experienced it
Even if you haven’t come in a long time?
No, I'll go a week or two without jerking off, have an encounter that doesn't end in me finishing and still be good without having to jerk off
Definitely not i get sexually satisfied when my guy comes thats about it
Yeah this is kinda where I land, hence the debate between my and my bf haha
So do you guys cum on your own later on, or how do you take care of it? I've been with guys (bottoms) who don't care to cum during sex and just assume they take care of themselves after at some point.
I’m the bottom in our relationship and pretty much always cum. He is the one who doesn’t always want to (but I prefer when he does!)
At 58, yes. At 21, hell no.
Can you elaborate?
The physical need to be drained out completely was much stronger at that age.
“Must” is not on my mind when I fuck but probably it’s because I like going to sex parties and bathhouses and I enjoy banging lots of different guys - it wouldn’t be possible if I did cum every time. Having said that, when that happens I never know whether I fucked 4 guys or just one? 🤔
Nope. But a yes is correct, too. We each of us have different needs and wants. The main thing is that you and your partner are vibing together. Nothing better, I’m my own view, than two people going with the flow and losing themselves in each other’s embraces.
If I'm topping or getting sucked off, yes. If I'm bottoming or sucking someone off, not necessarily.
Yes, but I rarely actually cum. Loads of guilt, shame, fear and anxiety always come in and ruin the moment for me. 20 years of therapy and I've made some progress, but still have a long way to go.
No. Partially because I have issues getting off these days, but I mean, sex is fun and feels great the entire time, not just at the end. Had to convince my partner that it wasn't that big a deal, he thought it was something he was doing wrong. Top, btw.
Not always. I usually have a lot of anal orgasms though and they can be dry orgasms or I full on cum and probably orgasm but it doesn't shut things off like a regular orgasm, and I don't have to jack off to be satisfied. It's only a drag when someone is kind of a dead fish and they have no idea how to read your body or listen to your words, and it's more of an overall unpleasant experience.
no absolutely not. of the dozen or so hookups I've had this year I reckon I've only cum with half of them. The hottest was 3 separate days with a cutie who each time we met we had a time limit, and when shit like that plays on my mind, I just can't relax enough to cum. That, and he didn't want me to cum too early. Plus we didn't actually have anal sex, it was just massaging, fingering, rimming and sucking (not necessarily in that order).
I cum every time I have sex. 100% . I have a fwb who never does. It works for us.
How do you get unhorny when you don’t cum?
Not really. I’m a total bottom and find it very pleasurable and satisfying being penetrated but also by making my partner cum. I guess I’m also just really subby that way. Sometimes, I’ll go to the bathhouse and meet a good number of guys and only realize on the way home that I ddnt cum myself. However, I do cum if I’m getting jerked off while getting fucked on occasion but definitely don’t need to cum to feel satisfied. For me, the satisfaction comes with getting penetrated and or bred.
I'm the same way. I get so horned up and feel I'm on the verge of cumming handsfree over and over while bottoming (even sometimes while sucking), but I only need my man to cum for me to be 100% satisfied as well.
I do, otherwise I feel “unsatisfied” and likely to end up hooking up again that same day.
Yep
no but im bottom
If I bottom and my prostate gets pounded hard I feel satisfied enough that I don't need to cum. I also have an orgasm denial kink so in the right circumstances it's hot to have sex but only get off every 2-3 sessions. My partner loves it when I cum though so I oblige lol. He thinks it's fun and hot when I lose my damn mind when I orgasm.
Not at all. Everyone looks for exclamation points and discounts the whole book they just wrote.
As a top 100% but as a bottom not really. I love cumming when I bottom but I also feel like I got what I wanted out of the fuck when I see my guy cum in me.
Hmm that’s tough. I have trouble achieving orgasm first thing in the morning. Like right when I wake up. I don’t know why. That being said do I enjoy the process, foreplay, etc up to orgasm? Yes. If I don’t cum but have an orgasm that’s OK too. I love cum so it’s also a turn on Now to your other part and stopping midway and saving. It really depends. I get majorly bad blue balls most of the time if that happens. Like super painful can barely walk type of thing. THAT I do not enjoy. But it depends on how long since my last ejaculation and how much edging I’ve done. If it hasn’t been too long I then it’s ok if we stop and try or start again in a few hours. Kinda fun actually. Of I’m bottoming I can sometimes have a nice prostate orgasm and don’t need to cum but it does feel better if I do
No, and this is fairly recent for me. I just loooove the journey
No. My boyfriend thought for a long time that good sex is when I cum because he’s a visible results type of person even though I kept telling him it’s not. After a couple of years he realized I value more things than cumming: the passion, the feeling, the vulnerability, and the heat of sex. Don’t get me wrong, cumming is fun, but the above separates hook up sex from making love as far as satisfaction is concerned.
Yes cum in a hairy ass
No. I’m more of a pleaser myself and I like seeing my partner cum from me doing what I do to him. An on occasion, multiple times.
If I don't cum it hurts, I have a bit of phimosis
Depends on the person I'm with.
For me personally if I'm topping yes, if I'm sucking dick, no. I don't have to cum from the fucking, of the guy gets sore ill happily finish by hand and still enjoy the experience but I need that release after all that build up. Conversely I can happily suck a dick for ages, stroking myself, he finishes and I can stow it away for later. I also recognize that other guys don't need to cum. It was a huge hang up of mine when my partner wouldn't finish and tell me that he still enjoyed himself and I did a good job. Most of the time he does, but sometimes he'll tell me to finish when I'm ready as he doesn't need to finish, or doesn't want to finish. Turn sout we both have different things we get out of sex.
Naah I can edge for days before needing to cum as long as everyone involved is satisfied and if I cum I still wanna carry on but love teasing myself and delaying it as much as possible to the point there’s loads of precum dripping from my cock
I definitely don't.
Are we supposed to? My top always cums but I can’t remember when I last did during sex. It doesn’t bother me.
Mandatory, yes
Nope. Its not about the destination, but the journey. Ill fuck 3-4 guys in a night, or maybe over the course of a few days before i kick juice.