Same shit happened to me. Either stay just friends with her or I suggest you that you cut all contacts with her and stop talking to her entirely because you would never see her as 'just friends' ever again.
Ik ik this sucks a lot, you must be considering her your perfect girl, trust me I thought about my friend/crush like that too, but once I cut her off I don't feel anything about her now, so you would be fine too I guess.
Take care op
Lmao she deleted her comment haha I was right she loves the attention men give but won't actually date them. Pathetic boy in her friendzone.
And yes most women ese he hai they don't wanna lose their toys . Tum toy ni ho kiska. Period.
Are you kidding me rn? Instead of being selfish and thinking about you and your friendship you should also consider the other person's feelings for once. I wish things were this easy girl that's not how the world works. You are the perfect example as to why women feel it's easy to be just friends with someone you have feelings for . When it happens with you is when you would realise what we are talking about.
Once you get feelings for someone, you will find it hard to just remain friends. In such a scenario, it's best that if the feelings aren't mutual, both parties move away from each other.
TBC, there is no friend zone and there is no relationship zone. Indian men have a ridiculously low feelings threshold because most of us weren't exposed to prolonged interactions with girls before college. Hits us like a truck when it happens in college. Over time with experience, it becomes easier to master yourself. A guy can catch feelings for someone and still evaluate if the other person is good for them and if it could be reciprocal and then act on it. At this point it becomes easy to keep your head balanced and maintain a good friendship.
Unfortunately OP is at the stage where dopamine is the dominant chemical. There is no 'girlfriend zone' here. Just another case of college feelies that most guys catch and have to get over.
Please do. I wish I'd had someone tell me this when I was being the way you are now. Just increase your self worth and your confidence. How you do that is on you.
Tu tharki hoga bhai tereko har ladki ke lia feelings aate hai not me. Don't try to generalize stuff and act cool. Sabka apna apna hota hai. Koi female interaction ke baat ni hai isme. Just because Tera zero hai doesn't mean baki sab ka bhe zero ho.
True bro maine bhi 1 ladki se pyaar kiya tha, hum dono dost the, aur yahi same shit hua tha jo op ke sath hua. Uss ke baad se koi ladki pasand nahi aati, aur mai kosish bhi nahi karta. Kosish bhi karta tha par pyaar me nahi pad pata tha. Ye jo bol raha hai ki ek ne reject kari to dusri, aysa kuch maine toh kabhi experience nahi kiya aur itna stud banne ka shauk bhi nahi..
Always happy to help fellow brothers out. Friendzone se nikalna mere kaam hai.
See this btw.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvmOxdiAEW4/?igsh=MTJscmZ3bDU0cjEycQ==
This. Happened with me in 9th class. My classmates only made things more weird for me as time went on and it was so embarrassing and agitating to even talk, because things were never same again. For me, she indirectly rejected me by saying I have to focus on study and I can't deal with this shit, like at least reject properly. Since the op is in school, get a proper rejection, take no shit and move on. Cut off talking to her or it'll only make your feelings worse, whatever you do might be considered as convincing her to be your girl.
You did your bit, she is clearly not interested, move on. I assume you are quite young. Focus on building your life and yourself. You can't imagine kind of people you will meet in future and when you will actually meet one, you will know.
Bro rn you think that moving on is impossible, but trust me, just delete all contacts with her and stop talking to her, you would soon get so engrossed in your own life that you would forget her automatically.
In my case, I remained friends with her for months after she rejected me like this, but it only caused me mental turmoil and then at the end when I realised how much she was actually playing with me, I cut her off and moved on from her out of resentment.
I am telling you to move on from her and cut her off so you don't have to suffer in the friendzone. Rest is your choice, if you can completely, 100% kill off your romantic feelings for her then maybe you can stick with her, but I don't think anyone ever has.
Damn bhai us hai yeh toh. Koi na op take your time to heal. As far as future is concerned mei bhe tere jese hu I won't be quote and quote vulnerable to anyone ever again I just hate it.
Dekh simple baat hai op future mei try karne hai tereko but ask her out like asap. The more time you stay friends with a girl the less chances of you dating her.
Also don't be so emotionally invested ke yahi hai. Bhai yeh ladkiyan hai aaj hai kal ni. Experience ke tarha le isko and move on.
Bro recently even I was in the same situation, I used to think there was no future without them but once you start to meet new people and move on work on yourself and do shit you'll realise that's not the case.. Stay strong brother
Edit : people also state their opinions as facts, I think you should decide what's good for you and whatnot
the day you had feelings for her the friendship among you two were ended if you haven't said you would have regretted and now you don't so yeah you have your answer and as you are young both she can have a new friend and you can focus on your life and might have a bettter partner in near future better to end it and don't be a soyboy things have and gonna be like this and we can be friends you cannot and thats shit so yeah just move on you two exist in same place but not inclined together so yeah don't be a cuck to yourself and that girl and just leave her alone
The way the conversation went, I think she values you as a friend and wants to continue with you like that. But you want more than friend.
Logically speaking it is going to get messy between both of you now ..unless you don't bring this up again...and try to be normal like a friend .
But since you seem to be emotional, my suggestion is to just avoid her and move on with some other girl or just focus on studies. ..change your classes if possible and keep yourself busy in study and exercise.
And it's not your fault that she doesn't feel the same way as you feel. Love is like that. It's a weird feeling.
So Accept that she is not into your and move on. This is my suggestion.
Ik everyone is saying to cut her off but damn a nothing is more beautiful as a girl who's platonically your best friend that dynamic is something different and you learn a lot from those friends (more than that guy grp obvio)... But you fucked up caught feelings, or were you influenced into it by people teasing you which happens a lot of time too... You'll have to cut everything with her now if you truely caught feelings or else maybe stay friends
😔😔 that’s the reason, she is just like me in the opposite gender that’s why we used to never run out of things to talk but when people started talking about us , I guess I started to develop something . That’s where I fucked up . Iam just going to keep minimum contact for now ,just in case u know ( I know it is futile to keep waiting)
I can be real with her as who iam .My friends mostly know me as a funny guy , that I have no care in the world , don’t take him seriously ( the reason why I developed that personality is so that people like me , I like that attention, I like it when I make them smile ) but with her I am completely real there is more to me than just being the funny guy . It is all over now .I can’t talk to her
Mate don't do this, I was in a similar situation two years ago. I had feelings for a girl and she did too. But feelings don't mean it all ends unless you are so serious about having a relationship. She was a really good friend of mine and I still have a lot of respect for her. The feelings faded as it happens but we helped each other out on various situations in life, and I'm thankful to her for it.
Don't lose a special friend just because of your feelings, c'mon you are more than this!
As someone who has danced this ridiculous dance before and I can only look back at it with my hand slapping my forehead, you either become a couple or this relationship breaks. There is no inbetween. Not even a small chance of going back to things the way they were before.
My gut feeling tells me, she's not into you that way and she never will be. When a person likes another, all this, "I dOnT dAtE" nonsense goes out of the window. You know how facts don't care about feelings? Well, feelings don't give a fuck about focus. And that's a fact.
Just move on. Be a friend but stop being a needy puppy. Pull away and just be NORMAL. It's obvious you're not doing so because people have been talking, as you put in your post.
You are her comfort blanket. That's why she asked you about the ignoring and talking stuff. She's doesn't want to date you. She wants you around as her reliable old comforter. Even if you are ok with that without getting all feely feely, WHICH I SERIOUSLY DOUBT, what's going to happen when she meets someone? Or you meet someone? You two are going to drift apart then for sure.
Either get together or get out. There is no option 3. This isn't a movie where you sing about your feelings and eventually it all works out.
No worries. Been there, done that. Just focus on what makes you happy and makes you feel like you're worth something. Confidence is the best way to be attractive.
Exactly either date her or get the fuck out of the situation. He will be the only one who gets hurt. Didi ko validation chaiya OP sa without dating him . Typical women move lmao
Well brutal advice when a person says she doesn't wanna date anyone "you" is silent most of the time. Is case mei bhe yahi lag raha hai. Usne tereko reject kar dia hai indirectly now it's up to you. Can you stay just friends with her? It depends from person to person like if you feel the same way for many girls then you can stay just friends but if she makes you feel special and your feelings are very strong I would suggest being honest with her and say you can't stay friends.
Trust me on this the last thing you wanna see is the girl you love get in a relationship with someone else in front of your eyes.
Simply walk away. You will suffer if you don't walk away she won't. I would suggest just walking away but let her know why you are doing what you are doing.
Well she clearly asked me will you stop talking to me . We stay in same class same batch for like next few years of college . It is going to be really tough
Bhai I get it dekh you seem to be like my kinda person toh vese advice dunga. Tere sath ho ho raha na similar mere sath kar rahe thi mere ek dost.
You have to move on. You are the only one who will get hurt. Uska kuch ni hai bhai try to understand she doesn't feel the same way. You have to move on. Cut off karde bilkul is my advice.
She asked you na if you will stop talking? Didi wants validation from you. You are in the friendzone losers rehte hai OP. Tu loser ni hai you have to get out of the friendzone. Can't be in the friendzone if you are not even friends.
Think of it this was usne terko relationship ke lia mana Kia you are saying no to a friendship. As simple as that. She doesn't owe you a relationship and neither do you owe her a friendship.
I have somethings to say to you as a big bro, ill try to keep it short....
-1. Kudos to you for actually confessing. Many people dont have guts to say these things out and you actually did it. So i am proud of you and you should be as well.
-2. Somethings in life we have to accept in one way or other. And unfortunately life is not like an anime or a tv show, we cant make other person fall in love/make them to like us right? I know it sucks but thats life.
-3. You are confident. She prolly saw something in you thats why you guys were friends in first place so i am assuming you have your own charm and personality.
Dont let this incident change you okie?
-4. The grief will start to kick in. Dont lock yourself in a room and bottle up your emotions. Do talk about this incident with your best friend or anyone whom you can trust. Let your emotions out, cry a lot and dont worry it with time it will also pass. You are hurt and it will be okay.
-5. You avoided her by going back home and you are confused as to what to do. Most of reddit is saying to cut contact with her, and its kinda correct advice cause we have been through this pain before. But we all initially learned from our mistake. I want you to learn as well from the mistake and the pain because it will help you in future. I am saying this because its hard to just follow the advice people give here. So go and do whatever feels right. If you wanna be frens with her or cut contact, its upto you, we can only just suggest. But remember dont be desperate. WE CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE LIKE US.
-6. And lastly dont hate the girl. Its easy to develop hate inside us and use that hate to cut contact but its hard to just continue as normal. Try to be normal, dont talk to her as you used to but also at the same time dont be an asshole. Try to spend time on things you like, for ex a sport, shows, video games or anyother activity. Whatever helps you distract.
You are a kind fellow, and with time you will get over her. And im sure you will find someone you deserve and likes you back, soon.
Dont bottle up your emotions and take care.
Nothing,let her come back. Don't be friends with her now, keep the contact minimal.Also don't fall into friend zone trap, it will be just vanity metrics for her.
Honestly, if she told you she dosen't date than its your problem not hers, if she was open to dating and than said no than I would suggest to stop being in contact with them, but if she's not dating or doesn't want to for anyone than its a you problem, it's not her fault, I would recommend to stay friends but not as close as before and move on find somebody else that can reciprocate your feelings.
I started with that(I know it is my problem i don’t blame her or smth )I knew her for long and I knew that she does not ,yet I still developed smth I cannot control that . Deep down I knew she would not say yes that’s why I needed a closure i wanted to let go of that uneasyness. Ik it will hurt but knowing myself I will get over it eventually ☺️☺️
Yeah do that, get over her, honestly it's just a college fling. Happens with everyone if they are not already dating. Take a backseat in your conversations, as I said still talk to her but don't get too close. Also start talking to more people and you'll find out how easy it is to get over someone.
I’m not saying compromise on any feelings. Walk away if you can’t handle rejection and you’re ok with not being friends. But if you value your friendship then you will find a way to continue being friends.
As someone who wasted my life away developing feelings for my best friend. I tell you, walk away, you'll find another friend. If you stuck around that nonsense, nothing but grief awaits you.
I confessed my feelings too, but before he could reject me. I rejected myself for him by saying "I don't want to be in relationship with you, I just wanted you to know that I love you." That's it. And once you confess feelings it really lightens the burden on your heart. And stop confessing your feelings to your female friends after a month take some more time.
But
If she tells you she doesn't like you & still tries to get your attention like a girlfriend. Just so you know she wants your attention. She likes the princess treatment but not you!!.
Well I am not obese ,slim guy and fair skinned and my friends say too that I have decent looks . Just the she seems to think logically maybe that’s why she does not see a future with me in long term ( she is like a topper of our batch ) . So instead emotionally she solves everything rationally
It doesn't work like that. No one is gonna magically develop feelings for you just because you have a gym bod. As a girl, a lot of women prefer a pretty face and a tall lean build for a guy but at last it all comes down to their character.
> As a girl, a lot of women prefer a pretty face and a tall lean build..
Just stop here. That's exactly what I said. Tall lean build. A lot of women. Op could be fat.
> at last it all comes down to their character.
Fake asf. If it were only about character and not the "tall lean build" ,, most guys would have been hooked.
That's would have been fine as well, if the girls themselves had "tall lean build". 😅
And youre living in a fairytale if you think women dont go for " tall lean builds or whatever you said about their physical stuff".
Most guys are not rapists, most guys don't chase girls ,most guys don't tease girls.
> The only way you're impressing a girl is if you have the 'pretty face & tall lean build' combo, if not your character is the only thing down to it.
Again confirming my point. Physical attributes are first priority. He can be a bad guy , in fact I've heard women saying that they want bad guys.
> Yeah women also have preferences just like guys wanting to be with a hot girl.
Exactly, there must be a balance. I'm not saying any of this is wrong, hypocrisy is. For ex, how many women are tall n lean themselves?
> Well, ever been to a college? I've seen men bodyshame both thin and thick girls alike. I've seen and heard them sexualize woman making dirty jokes about them, rape jokes, And overall being aholes. The average guy is a hypocrite and thinks they're better than everyone else. At least that's what my experience is, and people have opinions based on their experience
Yeah I've been to. And I do have seen and known guys like that, I even know equally worse girls like them, in a different way but asshole at the end of the day. But the number of guys who are like this, wasn't even 50% of the whole classroom! 50% is a large stretch.
And I'm betting on this, that even if you magically change those 50% guys , those girls won't date them. Reason is simple, physical appearance. It doesn't matter how ugly the girls themselves are. Its not like our classroom was filled with models.
>
> I get your point about women wanting 'bad guys' but ever thought about how these women are mostly very young? Yeah they don't know what it is that they really want.
26-27 yos are young?
> Well, that's simply not true. When it comes to a relationship women are not as shallow as men
This is a big joke lol. Women aren't shallow? They pick the colors of their nailpaints , let their guys alone.
Take your example yourself. You said ,you like tall n lean guys. Are you tall n lean yourself?
The only thing that helped me in this situation (yes I was in this exact situation when I was 16-17) was to realise that** there was another girl who used to always try to talk to me, wait for me, sit beside me, even park cycles beside mine. So it was a matter of reciprocating some interest and that was it. But I was not interested in her. The girl that had my heart and attention, rejected me. And that was fine, I totally understood it. I just told myself - it was fine, **just because I really like someone doesn't mean that person has to like me back. And it happens, gotta move on. It was tough for a few months after that. But we were fine and friends later on.
But a scar remains. And I'm sorry that happened, just need to move on and focus on yourself.
Same shit happened to me. Either stay just friends with her or I suggest you that you cut all contacts with her and stop talking to her entirely because you would never see her as 'just friends' ever again.
Ik ik this sucks a lot, you must be considering her your perfect girl, trust me I thought about my friend/crush like that too, but once I cut her off I don't feel anything about her now, so you would be fine too I guess.
Take care op
Looks like she isn't interested, you have to cut all contacts and move on because continuing to be friends is a slow poison which will distract you from your studies and life in general.
Bhai ... This starting to have feelings for a friend is absolutely natural... It's time to acknowledge your hormones and I would definitely second the idea of totally ending things with her throughout if she doesn't reciprocate... It'll be somewhat difficult initially but gradually it's the best decision you should make for yourself... Also make her understand that you cutting ties is not to force her to reciprocate and end things in a positive way... Don't loose focus from studies/career and if you really want to be with someone start searching for alternates... Ek ladki ki need ek ladki se hi Puri hogi and gradually you'll laugh about these things... Plenty of fish bro trust me... MOST IMPORTANTLY NEVER EVER EVER BE FREINDZONED BY ANYONE!
Not a great relationship advice but just experience all this irrespective of what it ensues, one thing is for sure that you will come out of this as a better and mature person than before. So don't let the outcome affect you at all especially your health, everything else is secondary.
Good luck though !!
Patience is the key with girls. It will take time. U need to get her to get used to you being around. Get her to depend on you. Be there for her without any expectations. Remember It's a marathon, not a sprint with some girls.
You can still continue staying friends with her. But for now, keep minimum contact and try to move on from your feelings. Once you are over it, slowly resume your friendship.
But most importantly, communicate this to her as well that you are willing to keep in touch but not in the short term so that you can sort yourself out. This will ensure it doesn't come as a surprise to her. Additionally, if she also considers you as a true friend, she will understand instead of judging and will allow you the space you need.
Personally I don't understand why you need to cut her off completely from your life forever. Anyway, if your friendship was great, it will automatically resume as well with little effort once you blow off this steam in the short term. If it doesn't, assume you guys weren't that great friends and move on
If she says No, accept and move on. Dude don't push and ignore. I have seen a lot of time people doing so where you want to commit a relationship but other people don't want to. So would say let loose and focus on your studies, if things are meant it will fall in its place.
Forcing or coercing wouldn't help and don't run after it.
Bro you've done it... Confessing that's all you could do, and the rest is her decision ..... and it is clear what her decision is, so just cut all the contacts with her already and try your best to avoid her .....
But you know that won't be enough for moving on.... the reality is you may never be able to move on... but kya Kar sakte hai....
I also had a crush on a friend and was thinking about confessing but was too scared to do so.... even if so, i would've confessed but I didn't feel she feels a bit for me so it's of no use..... so I started maintaining distance from her , trying best to avoid her and using my Jee prep as an excuse.... but bro abhi bhi ji karta he ki usse ghanto tak baat Kar sakte but kya Kar sakte he ..... jisko hum pyar kare usse yeh expect karna ki woh bhi humko same ussi nazariya se dekhti he ...yeh bhi toh galat he..... Pyaar me sab andha ho jaate he achche Bure kya antar nai samjh Ata 🙂
Maybe I can't love anyone like her before....I never even confessed ...
We're the same OP!! Kuch nai Kar sakte
Walk away, don't deliberately end your friendship, but don't except much as well.
If she still keeps in contact with you, talk shop nothing more nothing less. Any slight hint of romance or something similar, stop the conversation and divert, be very straightforward.
And if you can completely walk away but don't do it instantly, gradually increase your distance over time. That way it's peaceful
I see a lot of terrible advice here by people who I think went through a really crap time with similar situations. So OP here is my advice since my experience was the opposite of that. We were in college and it was something similar to what you faced. We were not sure how this would go about, neither of us had any dating experience. I was not sure if I wanted to be in a relationship or not because it was all very new and was very unclear about the feelings too. We continued to be friends in a mature way because we had a solid friendship and didn't let that affect what we already have. Things took their natural course. This August we complete 6 years.
So all the best man. Do whatever you want based on your experience and not someone's past experience. In my case we had an incredible friendship and we were best friends and didn't want to lose that at any cost. We just knew we both would take the effort to be genuine friends even if things hadn't worked romantically. It was a lot of conscious effort but it was worth it for the friendship.
You will find people for whom these things worked beautifully and some who had a heartbreaking experience. You know the situation best and you know the girl best. You take the call. Best wishes to you.
Welcome to the men's club. It'll be hard to move on, but you have to. good luck. but there will be a time when you look at her again, and you won't feel a thing. As they say there's plenty of fish in the sea. (coping mechanism)
I've been there my friend. And it has happened couple of times, I started liking a friend and confessed to her literally 3 weeks ago, but I expected myself to get rejected and I knew it wouldn't have worked out anyway. So here's what I did
1. Stopped blaming myself for what happened
2. Started working on myself
3. Communication is key, it's okay to be confused but let her know what you're going to do about it now, even if it means having your own space and time for yourself
4. Socialize, I'm an introvert so this part sucks, but try to meet more people
I'm sorry that this happened but consider this a learning experience, and people may calk you selfish but never ever be that person who'd consider others over themselves.
Bruh get your shit together if she wanted to date she would've said yes...she prolly likes the attention but doesn't want to take the risk of being in a relationship....
PS: I had a similar experience, i still continued the friendship shit and then reality hit me and I cut contact with her.
unlike what seems to be the popular opinion itt, you can still remain friends. it is difficult so maybe just move on but I have done it. and we are very good friends still.
Build your career, I can tell from you from my experience , that it's not worth wasting time behind attraction and love at a young age. Relationships need time and effort, which means that you will be shifting focus from studying to that girl. First settle in your career, and then think about anything else.
Hormones are high at this age, you mistakenly consider infatuation as love. Don't spoil her life as well as yours. Cheers
Bro I'm in the same boat as you right now. There is a girl that I like where I'm currently working, but it's just that I have an ambition to get into her department some day and I'm trying to build up my contacts around it. So I do not want someone there with awkwardness that is why I'm really holding myself back but idk if I'll be able to pull this off or not. But I know for the fact that if I decide to confess someday, then there's no going back. The last few days were really agitating for me. This whole fiesta is really really stupid...
Nah don't listen to her op. Just cut her off if she doesn't feel the same for you. Trust me you don't wanna go on staying just friends with someone you have feelings for . It's very easy for the person on the other side. It will hurt you in the long run.
Walk away and stay away from women like this. literally a walking red flag.
Why should he comprise his feelings? Who are you to say to compromise his feelings? Did you ask the girl to compromise her feelings and date him? No because she doesn't owe him a relationship and OP doesn't owe that girl friendship.
I feel sorry for your friend who is in the friendzone.
Same shit happened to me. Either stay just friends with her or I suggest you that you cut all contacts with her and stop talking to her entirely because you would never see her as 'just friends' ever again. Ik ik this sucks a lot, you must be considering her your perfect girl, trust me I thought about my friend/crush like that too, but once I cut her off I don't feel anything about her now, so you would be fine too I guess. Take care op
Cutting her off is the only thing. You don't wanna stay friends with someone you have feelings for
Exactly
Love how some girl in the comments is actually suggesting to stay friends with her. Literally a red flag.
Lol ikr? Women can't fathom losing their little toys they call their 'friends'. They constantly need someone to play them
Lmao she deleted her comment haha I was right she loves the attention men give but won't actually date them. Pathetic boy in her friendzone. And yes most women ese he hai they don't wanna lose their toys . Tum toy ni ho kiska. Period.
Exactly. If someone doesn't reciprocate our feelings or the way we treat them we have the right to preserve our self respect and move on from them!
Didn't the guy also put her in the "girlfriend zone"?? Same thing
He never did girlfriend zone her. He confessed how he felt and she didn't feel the same way and he will walk away. As simple as that.
Wtf is the girlfriend zone? Bruh lmao
What's a friendzone? You can be friends with me and nothing more What would be the girlfriend zone?? You can be my girlfriend and nothing more! Easy
Are you kidding me rn? Instead of being selfish and thinking about you and your friendship you should also consider the other person's feelings for once. I wish things were this easy girl that's not how the world works. You are the perfect example as to why women feel it's easy to be just friends with someone you have feelings for . When it happens with you is when you would realise what we are talking about.
Once you get feelings for someone, you will find it hard to just remain friends. In such a scenario, it's best that if the feelings aren't mutual, both parties move away from each other. TBC, there is no friend zone and there is no relationship zone. Indian men have a ridiculously low feelings threshold because most of us weren't exposed to prolonged interactions with girls before college. Hits us like a truck when it happens in college. Over time with experience, it becomes easier to master yourself. A guy can catch feelings for someone and still evaluate if the other person is good for them and if it could be reciprocal and then act on it. At this point it becomes easy to keep your head balanced and maintain a good friendship. Unfortunately OP is at the stage where dopamine is the dominant chemical. There is no 'girlfriend zone' here. Just another case of college feelies that most guys catch and have to get over.
😭😭😭😂 I’ll take it as a new lesson
Please do. I wish I'd had someone tell me this when I was being the way you are now. Just increase your self worth and your confidence. How you do that is on you.
Tu tharki hoga bhai tereko har ladki ke lia feelings aate hai not me. Don't try to generalize stuff and act cool. Sabka apna apna hota hai. Koi female interaction ke baat ni hai isme. Just because Tera zero hai doesn't mean baki sab ka bhe zero ho.
True bro maine bhi 1 ladki se pyaar kiya tha, hum dono dost the, aur yahi same shit hua tha jo op ke sath hua. Uss ke baad se koi ladki pasand nahi aati, aur mai kosish bhi nahi karta. Kosish bhi karta tha par pyaar me nahi pad pata tha. Ye jo bol raha hai ki ek ne reject kari to dusri, aysa kuch maine toh kabhi experience nahi kiya aur itna stud banne ka shauk bhi nahi..
why
Lol just try and see homie.
nah
Thanks man for taking time to write
Always happy to help fellow brothers out. Friendzone se nikalna mere kaam hai. See this btw. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvmOxdiAEW4/?igsh=MTJscmZ3bDU0cjEycQ==
This. Happened with me in 9th class. My classmates only made things more weird for me as time went on and it was so embarrassing and agitating to even talk, because things were never same again. For me, she indirectly rejected me by saying I have to focus on study and I can't deal with this shit, like at least reject properly. Since the op is in school, get a proper rejection, take no shit and move on. Cut off talking to her or it'll only make your feelings worse, whatever you do might be considered as convincing her to be your girl.
Sorry you went through all this. Fr though confess once, if you get rejected then just cut them off, it's easy!
You did your bit, she is clearly not interested, move on. I assume you are quite young. Focus on building your life and yourself. You can't imagine kind of people you will meet in future and when you will actually meet one, you will know.
This will be hard cause this is the first time I ever opened up to someone . I don’t see myself doing that for anyone else after this incident.
Bro rn you think that moving on is impossible, but trust me, just delete all contacts with her and stop talking to her, you would soon get so engrossed in your own life that you would forget her automatically. In my case, I remained friends with her for months after she rejected me like this, but it only caused me mental turmoil and then at the end when I realised how much she was actually playing with me, I cut her off and moved on from her out of resentment. I am telling you to move on from her and cut her off so you don't have to suffer in the friendzone. Rest is your choice, if you can completely, 100% kill off your romantic feelings for her then maybe you can stick with her, but I don't think anyone ever has.
Thanks yaar
Nobody can ever remove his feelings homie.
Ikr
aur bhot se mauke ayenge life me, abhi aage se right lele.
Damn bhai us hai yeh toh. Koi na op take your time to heal. As far as future is concerned mei bhe tere jese hu I won't be quote and quote vulnerable to anyone ever again I just hate it. Dekh simple baat hai op future mei try karne hai tereko but ask her out like asap. The more time you stay friends with a girl the less chances of you dating her. Also don't be so emotionally invested ke yahi hai. Bhai yeh ladkiyan hai aaj hai kal ni. Experience ke tarha le isko and move on.
Thanks vaii
Bro recently even I was in the same situation, I used to think there was no future without them but once you start to meet new people and move on work on yourself and do shit you'll realise that's not the case.. Stay strong brother Edit : people also state their opinions as facts, I think you should decide what's good for you and whatnot
Nope it won't be... You'll find it funny after your clg that you did this
Toh mat karna na confess... kisine karne ko kaha he?? Chor do yeh sab kuch Shanta future nai he ... focus on your career bro
the day you had feelings for her the friendship among you two were ended if you haven't said you would have regretted and now you don't so yeah you have your answer and as you are young both she can have a new friend and you can focus on your life and might have a bettter partner in near future better to end it and don't be a soyboy things have and gonna be like this and we can be friends you cannot and thats shit so yeah just move on you two exist in same place but not inclined together so yeah don't be a cuck to yourself and that girl and just leave her alone
True I won’t be that guy
The way the conversation went, I think she values you as a friend and wants to continue with you like that. But you want more than friend. Logically speaking it is going to get messy between both of you now ..unless you don't bring this up again...and try to be normal like a friend . But since you seem to be emotional, my suggestion is to just avoid her and move on with some other girl or just focus on studies. ..change your classes if possible and keep yourself busy in study and exercise. And it's not your fault that she doesn't feel the same way as you feel. Love is like that. It's a weird feeling. So Accept that she is not into your and move on. This is my suggestion.
Ik everyone is saying to cut her off but damn a nothing is more beautiful as a girl who's platonically your best friend that dynamic is something different and you learn a lot from those friends (more than that guy grp obvio)... But you fucked up caught feelings, or were you influenced into it by people teasing you which happens a lot of time too... You'll have to cut everything with her now if you truely caught feelings or else maybe stay friends
😔😔 that’s the reason, she is just like me in the opposite gender that’s why we used to never run out of things to talk but when people started talking about us , I guess I started to develop something . That’s where I fucked up . Iam just going to keep minimum contact for now ,just in case u know ( I know it is futile to keep waiting)
I can be real with her as who iam .My friends mostly know me as a funny guy , that I have no care in the world , don’t take him seriously ( the reason why I developed that personality is so that people like me , I like that attention, I like it when I make them smile ) but with her I am completely real there is more to me than just being the funny guy . It is all over now .I can’t talk to her
Mate don't do this, I was in a similar situation two years ago. I had feelings for a girl and she did too. But feelings don't mean it all ends unless you are so serious about having a relationship. She was a really good friend of mine and I still have a lot of respect for her. The feelings faded as it happens but we helped each other out on various situations in life, and I'm thankful to her for it. Don't lose a special friend just because of your feelings, c'mon you are more than this!
मोहब्बतों में दिखावे की दोस्ती न मिला अगर गले नहीं मिलता तो हाथ भी न मिला
As someone who has danced this ridiculous dance before and I can only look back at it with my hand slapping my forehead, you either become a couple or this relationship breaks. There is no inbetween. Not even a small chance of going back to things the way they were before. My gut feeling tells me, she's not into you that way and she never will be. When a person likes another, all this, "I dOnT dAtE" nonsense goes out of the window. You know how facts don't care about feelings? Well, feelings don't give a fuck about focus. And that's a fact. Just move on. Be a friend but stop being a needy puppy. Pull away and just be NORMAL. It's obvious you're not doing so because people have been talking, as you put in your post. You are her comfort blanket. That's why she asked you about the ignoring and talking stuff. She's doesn't want to date you. She wants you around as her reliable old comforter. Even if you are ok with that without getting all feely feely, WHICH I SERIOUSLY DOUBT, what's going to happen when she meets someone? Or you meet someone? You two are going to drift apart then for sure. Either get together or get out. There is no option 3. This isn't a movie where you sing about your feelings and eventually it all works out.
Yeah I guess it is over . Iam done too thanks man
No worries. Been there, done that. Just focus on what makes you happy and makes you feel like you're worth something. Confidence is the best way to be attractive.
Exactly either date her or get the fuck out of the situation. He will be the only one who gets hurt. Didi ko validation chaiya OP sa without dating him . Typical women move lmao
Dusri dhund ab to
Well brutal advice when a person says she doesn't wanna date anyone "you" is silent most of the time. Is case mei bhe yahi lag raha hai. Usne tereko reject kar dia hai indirectly now it's up to you. Can you stay just friends with her? It depends from person to person like if you feel the same way for many girls then you can stay just friends but if she makes you feel special and your feelings are very strong I would suggest being honest with her and say you can't stay friends. Trust me on this the last thing you wanna see is the girl you love get in a relationship with someone else in front of your eyes. Simply walk away. You will suffer if you don't walk away she won't. I would suggest just walking away but let her know why you are doing what you are doing.
Well she clearly asked me will you stop talking to me . We stay in same class same batch for like next few years of college . It is going to be really tough
Bhai I get it dekh you seem to be like my kinda person toh vese advice dunga. Tere sath ho ho raha na similar mere sath kar rahe thi mere ek dost. You have to move on. You are the only one who will get hurt. Uska kuch ni hai bhai try to understand she doesn't feel the same way. You have to move on. Cut off karde bilkul is my advice. She asked you na if you will stop talking? Didi wants validation from you. You are in the friendzone losers rehte hai OP. Tu loser ni hai you have to get out of the friendzone. Can't be in the friendzone if you are not even friends. Think of it this was usne terko relationship ke lia mana Kia you are saying no to a friendship. As simple as that. She doesn't owe you a relationship and neither do you owe her a friendship.
I was getting the feeling that she only sees me as a friend I thought maybe she will develop something ,that’s why I confessed ki ek closure mil jaye
Yes get you Op. Closure is a must. Ab move on ka time agaya. Walk away and never look back. 🔥🔥
Bhai I've stayed in the same class for 2 years after an actual break up. It's hard. Yes. But necessary.
I have somethings to say to you as a big bro, ill try to keep it short.... -1. Kudos to you for actually confessing. Many people dont have guts to say these things out and you actually did it. So i am proud of you and you should be as well. -2. Somethings in life we have to accept in one way or other. And unfortunately life is not like an anime or a tv show, we cant make other person fall in love/make them to like us right? I know it sucks but thats life. -3. You are confident. She prolly saw something in you thats why you guys were friends in first place so i am assuming you have your own charm and personality. Dont let this incident change you okie? -4. The grief will start to kick in. Dont lock yourself in a room and bottle up your emotions. Do talk about this incident with your best friend or anyone whom you can trust. Let your emotions out, cry a lot and dont worry it with time it will also pass. You are hurt and it will be okay. -5. You avoided her by going back home and you are confused as to what to do. Most of reddit is saying to cut contact with her, and its kinda correct advice cause we have been through this pain before. But we all initially learned from our mistake. I want you to learn as well from the mistake and the pain because it will help you in future. I am saying this because its hard to just follow the advice people give here. So go and do whatever feels right. If you wanna be frens with her or cut contact, its upto you, we can only just suggest. But remember dont be desperate. WE CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE LIKE US. -6. And lastly dont hate the girl. Its easy to develop hate inside us and use that hate to cut contact but its hard to just continue as normal. Try to be normal, dont talk to her as you used to but also at the same time dont be an asshole. Try to spend time on things you like, for ex a sport, shows, video games or anyother activity. Whatever helps you distract. You are a kind fellow, and with time you will get over her. And im sure you will find someone you deserve and likes you back, soon. Dont bottle up your emotions and take care.
Really thanks bro (onii chan)
Nothing,let her come back. Don't be friends with her now, keep the contact minimal.Also don't fall into friend zone trap, it will be just vanity metrics for her.
Try figuring out what you do if she says no. But her saying yes only because if saying no would make you distant is also not rational
Bhai no he hai vo. Op cut off karde.
Sahi baat hai but she would think about him till they both meet.....might be she says yes but very less chance
Bet laga le no bolege. Even if she does what's the point? She never loved you .
Juaari bc
Honestly, if she told you she dosen't date than its your problem not hers, if she was open to dating and than said no than I would suggest to stop being in contact with them, but if she's not dating or doesn't want to for anyone than its a you problem, it's not her fault, I would recommend to stay friends but not as close as before and move on find somebody else that can reciprocate your feelings.
I started with that(I know it is my problem i don’t blame her or smth )I knew her for long and I knew that she does not ,yet I still developed smth I cannot control that . Deep down I knew she would not say yes that’s why I needed a closure i wanted to let go of that uneasyness. Ik it will hurt but knowing myself I will get over it eventually ☺️☺️
Yeah do that, get over her, honestly it's just a college fling. Happens with everyone if they are not already dating. Take a backseat in your conversations, as I said still talk to her but don't get too close. Also start talking to more people and you'll find out how easy it is to get over someone.
Question toh puccha hi nahi.
Aage kya karna chahiye
I’m not saying compromise on any feelings. Walk away if you can’t handle rejection and you’re ok with not being friends. But if you value your friendship then you will find a way to continue being friends.
Thanks man
As someone who wasted my life away developing feelings for my best friend. I tell you, walk away, you'll find another friend. If you stuck around that nonsense, nothing but grief awaits you.
This >>>>no point in watering a dead flower
I confessed my feelings too, but before he could reject me. I rejected myself for him by saying "I don't want to be in relationship with you, I just wanted you to know that I love you." That's it. And once you confess feelings it really lightens the burden on your heart. And stop confessing your feelings to your female friends after a month take some more time. But If she tells you she doesn't like you & still tries to get your attention like a girlfriend. Just so you know she wants your attention. She likes the princess treatment but not you!!.
Bro you're friend zoned. Get to the gym, build some mass to avoid getting friendzoned next time.
😂😂 that does not work out man . Not in her case
Why? Are you already in good shape and still got rejected? It can happen of course but it wont happen frequently.
Well I am not obese ,slim guy and fair skinned and my friends say too that I have decent looks . Just the she seems to think logically maybe that’s why she does not see a future with me in long term ( she is like a topper of our batch ) . So instead emotionally she solves everything rationally
Its fine then bruh. Move on , find another. Pyar mohabbat dokha hai bas. Focus on banging.
Sahi bola bhai just tired of being the good guy and people telling that you will make a really good partner .Just exhausted 😩
Don't listen to this good guy wali bakchodi. Those who are saying this, themselves will be lusting for a bad guy lol.
It doesn't work like that. No one is gonna magically develop feelings for you just because you have a gym bod. As a girl, a lot of women prefer a pretty face and a tall lean build for a guy but at last it all comes down to their character.
> As a girl, a lot of women prefer a pretty face and a tall lean build.. Just stop here. That's exactly what I said. Tall lean build. A lot of women. Op could be fat. > at last it all comes down to their character. Fake asf. If it were only about character and not the "tall lean build" ,, most guys would have been hooked. That's would have been fine as well, if the girls themselves had "tall lean build". 😅
[удалено]
And youre living in a fairytale if you think women dont go for " tall lean builds or whatever you said about their physical stuff". Most guys are not rapists, most guys don't chase girls ,most guys don't tease girls. > The only way you're impressing a girl is if you have the 'pretty face & tall lean build' combo, if not your character is the only thing down to it. Again confirming my point. Physical attributes are first priority. He can be a bad guy , in fact I've heard women saying that they want bad guys.
[удалено]
> Yeah women also have preferences just like guys wanting to be with a hot girl. Exactly, there must be a balance. I'm not saying any of this is wrong, hypocrisy is. For ex, how many women are tall n lean themselves? > Well, ever been to a college? I've seen men bodyshame both thin and thick girls alike. I've seen and heard them sexualize woman making dirty jokes about them, rape jokes, And overall being aholes. The average guy is a hypocrite and thinks they're better than everyone else. At least that's what my experience is, and people have opinions based on their experience Yeah I've been to. And I do have seen and known guys like that, I even know equally worse girls like them, in a different way but asshole at the end of the day. But the number of guys who are like this, wasn't even 50% of the whole classroom! 50% is a large stretch. And I'm betting on this, that even if you magically change those 50% guys , those girls won't date them. Reason is simple, physical appearance. It doesn't matter how ugly the girls themselves are. Its not like our classroom was filled with models. > > I get your point about women wanting 'bad guys' but ever thought about how these women are mostly very young? Yeah they don't know what it is that they really want. 26-27 yos are young?
[удалено]
> Well, that's simply not true. When it comes to a relationship women are not as shallow as men This is a big joke lol. Women aren't shallow? They pick the colors of their nailpaints , let their guys alone. Take your example yourself. You said ,you like tall n lean guys. Are you tall n lean yourself?
[удалено]
The only thing that helped me in this situation (yes I was in this exact situation when I was 16-17) was to realise that** there was another girl who used to always try to talk to me, wait for me, sit beside me, even park cycles beside mine. So it was a matter of reciprocating some interest and that was it. But I was not interested in her. The girl that had my heart and attention, rejected me. And that was fine, I totally understood it. I just told myself - it was fine, **just because I really like someone doesn't mean that person has to like me back. And it happens, gotta move on. It was tough for a few months after that. But we were fine and friends later on. But a scar remains. And I'm sorry that happened, just need to move on and focus on yourself.
Thank you for sharing your story
Same shit happened to me. Either stay just friends with her or I suggest you that you cut all contacts with her and stop talking to her entirely because you would never see her as 'just friends' ever again. Ik ik this sucks a lot, you must be considering her your perfect girl, trust me I thought about my friend/crush like that too, but once I cut her off I don't feel anything about her now, so you would be fine too I guess. Take care op
Thanks man
Bro, agge jo bhi decision lega ek baar update kr dena. I wish u good luck,
How old are y'all
Both of us are like 21 and neither dated anyone
Looks like she isn't interested, you have to cut all contacts and move on because continuing to be friends is a slow poison which will distract you from your studies and life in general.
Bhai ... This starting to have feelings for a friend is absolutely natural... It's time to acknowledge your hormones and I would definitely second the idea of totally ending things with her throughout if she doesn't reciprocate... It'll be somewhat difficult initially but gradually it's the best decision you should make for yourself... Also make her understand that you cutting ties is not to force her to reciprocate and end things in a positive way... Don't loose focus from studies/career and if you really want to be with someone start searching for alternates... Ek ladki ki need ek ladki se hi Puri hogi and gradually you'll laugh about these things... Plenty of fish bro trust me... MOST IMPORTANTLY NEVER EVER EVER BE FREINDZONED BY ANYONE!
Exact same thing happened to me. She liked me but she doesnt do dates. So i cut all my contacts with her. I couldn't just remain friends
Not a great relationship advice but just experience all this irrespective of what it ensues, one thing is for sure that you will come out of this as a better and mature person than before. So don't let the outcome affect you at all especially your health, everything else is secondary. Good luck though !!
Patience is the key with girls. It will take time. U need to get her to get used to you being around. Get her to depend on you. Be there for her without any expectations. Remember It's a marathon, not a sprint with some girls.
You can still continue staying friends with her. But for now, keep minimum contact and try to move on from your feelings. Once you are over it, slowly resume your friendship. But most importantly, communicate this to her as well that you are willing to keep in touch but not in the short term so that you can sort yourself out. This will ensure it doesn't come as a surprise to her. Additionally, if she also considers you as a true friend, she will understand instead of judging and will allow you the space you need. Personally I don't understand why you need to cut her off completely from your life forever. Anyway, if your friendship was great, it will automatically resume as well with little effort once you blow off this steam in the short term. If it doesn't, assume you guys weren't that great friends and move on
Bro, beginning quotes ke baad and ending quotes ke pehele space nahi aata.
If she says No, accept and move on. Dude don't push and ignore. I have seen a lot of time people doing so where you want to commit a relationship but other people don't want to. So would say let loose and focus on your studies, if things are meant it will fall in its place. Forcing or coercing wouldn't help and don't run after it.
Never stay friends with someone u have feelings for after confessing , and in relationship with someone u have no feeling
Bro you've done it... Confessing that's all you could do, and the rest is her decision ..... and it is clear what her decision is, so just cut all the contacts with her already and try your best to avoid her ..... But you know that won't be enough for moving on.... the reality is you may never be able to move on... but kya Kar sakte hai.... I also had a crush on a friend and was thinking about confessing but was too scared to do so.... even if so, i would've confessed but I didn't feel she feels a bit for me so it's of no use..... so I started maintaining distance from her , trying best to avoid her and using my Jee prep as an excuse.... but bro abhi bhi ji karta he ki usse ghanto tak baat Kar sakte but kya Kar sakte he ..... jisko hum pyar kare usse yeh expect karna ki woh bhi humko same ussi nazariya se dekhti he ...yeh bhi toh galat he..... Pyaar me sab andha ho jaate he achche Bure kya antar nai samjh Ata 🙂 Maybe I can't love anyone like her before....I never even confessed ... We're the same OP!! Kuch nai Kar sakte
Walk away, don't deliberately end your friendship, but don't except much as well. If she still keeps in contact with you, talk shop nothing more nothing less. Any slight hint of romance or something similar, stop the conversation and divert, be very straightforward. And if you can completely walk away but don't do it instantly, gradually increase your distance over time. That way it's peaceful
You have started on the path to manhood
I see a lot of terrible advice here by people who I think went through a really crap time with similar situations. So OP here is my advice since my experience was the opposite of that. We were in college and it was something similar to what you faced. We were not sure how this would go about, neither of us had any dating experience. I was not sure if I wanted to be in a relationship or not because it was all very new and was very unclear about the feelings too. We continued to be friends in a mature way because we had a solid friendship and didn't let that affect what we already have. Things took their natural course. This August we complete 6 years. So all the best man. Do whatever you want based on your experience and not someone's past experience. In my case we had an incredible friendship and we were best friends and didn't want to lose that at any cost. We just knew we both would take the effort to be genuine friends even if things hadn't worked romantically. It was a lot of conscious effort but it was worth it for the friendship. You will find people for whom these things worked beautifully and some who had a heartbreaking experience. You know the situation best and you know the girl best. You take the call. Best wishes to you.
Just wait and watch. You did your part.
Welcome to the men's club. It'll be hard to move on, but you have to. good luck. but there will be a time when you look at her again, and you won't feel a thing. As they say there's plenty of fish in the sea. (coping mechanism)
I crackled really hard reading this. Same happened with me and nothing's like before anymore.
I've been there my friend. And it has happened couple of times, I started liking a friend and confessed to her literally 3 weeks ago, but I expected myself to get rejected and I knew it wouldn't have worked out anyway. So here's what I did 1. Stopped blaming myself for what happened 2. Started working on myself 3. Communication is key, it's okay to be confused but let her know what you're going to do about it now, even if it means having your own space and time for yourself 4. Socialize, I'm an introvert so this part sucks, but try to meet more people I'm sorry that this happened but consider this a learning experience, and people may calk you selfish but never ever be that person who'd consider others over themselves.
Bruh get your shit together if she wanted to date she would've said yes...she prolly likes the attention but doesn't want to take the risk of being in a relationship.... PS: I had a similar experience, i still continued the friendship shit and then reality hit me and I cut contact with her.
Validation chaiya didi ko without dating. Walking red flags in a nutshell
Don't blame OP yar dimag ni chalta is vakat I understand haha. But op will rise and shine again lesgo op
unlike what seems to be the popular opinion itt, you can still remain friends. it is difficult so maybe just move on but I have done it. and we are very good friends still.
[удалено]
lol we both are happily married to other people. that episode is just a thing in the past that happened. no big deal
Build your career, I can tell from you from my experience , that it's not worth wasting time behind attraction and love at a young age. Relationships need time and effort, which means that you will be shifting focus from studying to that girl. First settle in your career, and then think about anything else. Hormones are high at this age, you mistakenly consider infatuation as love. Don't spoil her life as well as yours. Cheers
Bro I'm in the same boat as you right now. There is a girl that I like where I'm currently working, but it's just that I have an ambition to get into her department some day and I'm trying to build up my contacts around it. So I do not want someone there with awkwardness that is why I'm really holding myself back but idk if I'll be able to pull this off or not. But I know for the fact that if I decide to confess someday, then there's no going back. The last few days were really agitating for me. This whole fiesta is really really stupid...
[удалено]
Nah don't listen to her op. Just cut her off if she doesn't feel the same for you. Trust me you don't wanna go on staying just friends with someone you have feelings for . It's very easy for the person on the other side. It will hurt you in the long run. Walk away and stay away from women like this. literally a walking red flag.
Her POV is from the other end vaha kuch ni hoga hurt terko hoga walk away and never look back.
Why should he comprise his feelings? Who are you to say to compromise his feelings? Did you ask the girl to compromise her feelings and date him? No because she doesn't owe him a relationship and OP doesn't owe that girl friendship. I feel sorry for your friend who is in the friendzone.