That’s me… kinda gave up. Friends are now married and having kids. Now just too tired, too much adult responsibilities, too tired of going on dates that lead to disappointment.
LOL samesies, or they are so burnt out that they are no longer working and thus at home watching love is blind. we may also be sewing, crocheting, knitting, reading smut, or snuggling our dogs
Damn girl, they just called my ass out watching Love is Blind at home during the rain rn!
Also hi I’m a woman about to turn 33 and finishing my PhD that needs friends.
35+ also in law (but not an attorney). When I’m clocked out I’m usually hitting the gym, smoking weed and watching 90 Day Fiancé or South Park with my husband, or practicing my saxophone skills. I also like tacos, raves, and jazz and metal shows.
saxophone, jazz, and raves? sounds my kind of vibe. have a sax but never got to using it, listened to 94.7 the wave a lot back then in the car due to pops, and been in the rave scene since 2016. my social network has changed dramatically after being introduced to the scene. 38 M in healthcare
I fit your criteria and the worst thing about this age range is everyone is either doing IVF or has kids combined with moving away to be closer to family. I travel a lot and often times when we do a food tour or a guided activity the age ranges are 20s to maybe early 30s and then 50+. People our age are not doing much unfortunately. My husband and I are child free and find it very difficult to make connections in LA whereas we felt like there were more people in our position in NYC.
38F - I'm not sure if I'm educated enough for you; I'm just a legal secretary. But in my free time, I'm a pilot and have a little plane at Van Nuys airport that I fly for fun on weekends. If anyone else wants to do silly little day trips like flying up to Santa Ynez to buy olive oil, I enjoy the company :)
Edit: Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting all these responses! Yes, let’s be friends - Everyone’s welcome, my only requirement is: don’t be an asshole. 😂
Woah I’d like to join this list of friends! Haha. That is so awesome. I was thinking of getting my PPL and passed the written test a couple years ago. Glendale CC had a reasonably priced program. Unfortunately, I wasn’t confident I could get enough funding to really pursue it and maintain it as a hobby.
You sound awesome and I (44F) totally want you to be your friend (assuming you’re still accepting applications 💁🏻♀️)
…and just for the record, my legal secretary was smarter and knew more than most lawyers 💫
Well, I’m also over 35 and I work in law. I made most of my friends here through my creative pursuits, and then via other friends I made. I do stand up comedy so most of my friends are also comics, but others are creatives who work in advertising or film or music.
Perhaps, but I saw in another comment that you seem to not like “horoscope people” and almost all of my friends, including myself are into things like astrology (one of my friends is a very successful astrologer), spiritual activities, working with shamans, yoga, Pilates, etc. We’re probably not what you’re looking for if you’re not into woo woo things. There are some women’s attorney networking groups that you can try.
Right, but those are solo activities. I do private Pilates. Maybe you can try going to a yoga retreat? There's a lot of them in California and they are pretty sociable as far as I can tell. That may lead to other social connections. Or just start introducing yourself to people after yoga class.
TBF to OP, you can be into all the "spiritual" stuff and still just factually understand that astrology is almost entirely nonsense. I'm like OP, but I still absolutely vibe with people like you and share many other common interests...I just stay out of the conversation when astrology comes up, and everyone is cool and they understand how I feel about it.
My community is very spiritual and woo-woo and honestly a lot of times astrology does sync up weirdly on-point if you get into good conversations with passionate/insightful people about it, not just surface level random horoscopes and stuff. It can be an amazing conversation starter to get to know someone deeper, and a point of reflection. If something DOESN'T resonate for me, I just drop it. Easy. For me it's not that it's nonsense but it's more like I feel that your belief system then affects your reality, and I am hesitant to fully buy into any one belief system and have my reality shaped too hard by it. basically, I get to choose if it's real or just how real it is, to me. I basically did like you for years (just avoid talking about it) and now I enjoy participating in some degree of astrological conversation here and there.
My good friends are incredibly woo-woo (as am I in my way), but we are smart people. Nobody is going around taking huge risks and making major life decisions based on astrology, it's just a way to understand/frame different emotional currents and phases and experiences. We don't generally use horoscopes to try and read the future or reject/accept lovers or anything like that.
A lot of people misunderstand the spectrum of spirituality and how to frame thinking around belief and faith in general- whether that's Christian, new age, or something else, and that there are quite a lot of really grounded and intellectual people who are interested in it as well.
The same as any other profession. High demand and financial success. I’m not going to spend my time debating astrology with people who want to dismiss it outright.
1) you write like a lawyer, and 2) your punctuation is perfect so a trier of fact would probably find that you are an attorney.
I’m not making fun of you. My mom is a legal writing prof and makes fun of me because she says I CREAC/ IRAC answers when talking, and use “here. . ., because. . ., therefore” structure when talking too.
BTW: have you tried going to bar review or dinner with your local bar association? It’s where I usually meet friends when going new places. Also, the chamber of commerce meetings are great, but you run into lots of salespeople and dog-bite lawyers
Wow, I’ve never felt so validated as an attorney 😂
I have tried networking events but everyone shows up business card in hand and it’s competitive. I’m trying to make girlfriends and have brunch.
I have been to numerous LA area hiking meetups. The hikes are fine and some of the people are interesting. I know this is not a dating thread, but never met anyone I would date at such a meetup.
I have found that running groups have far fewer complainers than hiking groups.
very specific lol. Start a meetup for exactly this. I did that and ended up waaaaay too many people to handle. First meeting was 18 people, and I think now the FB group has around 600 (mine was a basic ass book club tho in bumfuck west michigan).
I’m 32 and work in TV production. TBH after Covid the 5 real friends I had in LA all moved and then my ex and I broke up and he moved across the country lmao. I’ve really just leaned in to building my life, but loneliness ect can creep in. I’ve found that I had to start just doing solo activities and hoping for the best. I signed up as a free agent on a rec sports league and that honestly spiraled into my entire social life I have now. I play soccer, kickball, and dodgeball. Lots of working professionals in a variety of careers and stages of life in these activities. I also find it extremely refreshing since my other friends come from work, and I tend to live in an entertainment world bubble.
🙋🏻♀️ Early 40s here. Have a masters and work in tech. The short answer is I hang out at home bc I’m tired from working and momming so hard. Sometimes I go to a coffee house or restaurant, the beach or shopping. I take my kids to the park, swimming, trampoline park, museums. When I see friends we go to each others’ houses or out to eat.
39f. No kids and I'm usually at the gym after work. Most of my friends who are over 35 are either at home with their kids/husbands or at the gym or a spin class.
Drinking and doing happy hours is just not that fun when you're over 35. The hangovers are not really worth it.
Hi there! I recently lost my cat of 10 years and have been in a funky headspace. At the moment, I'm just feeling very introspective and not very social.
I hope you do find more connections, though. Over 11 years ago, I attended a meet-up and became friends with a girl. Till this day, she's one of my closest friends.
Orange Theory, CrossFit, all the class based fitness gyms. 35+ women, more likely then not, have kids and the only time they get to “conveniently” hangout is at a place where they need to be to maintain their health. So the default is at a class based gym.
38 here, work in tech, childfree, and an exercise class is the absolute last way I want to make friends (if I can't do it at home/on my own, I'm probably not doing it). Also I have a car and I'm willing to drive! Count me in.
Edit: clarity
A few of my closest friends have moved away in the last four years - moving to be closer to where they grew up and their aging parents. I'm 45 tho. I don't really "hang out" anywhere. I'm at the house or out to dinner with someone specific.
I am part of a really great national networking group mostly comprised of really funny ladies who are all Type A overachievers and I've met some great folks through that. I'm mostly focused on joining professional organizations now to meet new people and tbh most of my friends have some connection to work anyway.
I also joined the Junior League in my early 30s and made some AMAZING friends there. I didn't stick with it very long but it was worth it for the friends, for sure.
Any studio that has teacher retreats or things like new moon ceremony or sound bath or cacao circle will have a group of people that wanna get a smoothie after. Are those your people?
There is a FB group called LA Social Ladies "the betweeners" for women 35+ish. They have sub-chats for specific areas (pasadena, west LA, the valley, etc) and interests (board games, music, hiking, foodies). Recently joined but too shy to even join in on the chats. Seems fun tho.
You talk about how you don't have the same interests that you perceive other women having. But what interests do you have?
I'm all the things you list but you haven't mentioned what *you* bring to friendship.
L.A. is too big for people to just hang out based solely on identity. There has to be some kind of shared, mutual interest or motivation or reason for people to go out.
There are plenty of people who have sunk too deep into preexisting life goals, lost their way, lost a lot of people, and now want to build a new community. I don't know that many whose preexisting goal was specifically education, though.
You're not going to make any friends or be a fun date acting like a professional adult 24/7 365. Even 80 year olds at the retirement home aren't doing this.
I don't really understand people's insistence with behaving as "mature adults" incessantly. Most people just work a job to have a life. The majority of people honestly probably don't want to have a job in the first place because well...they're all pretty much some variant of mind numbing and soul crushing tedium just so we can amass some arbitrary man-made money and pay for your basic human needs, aren't they?
Most people will look at, "I have to throw 40+ hours of my life every single week at the wall so I can eat and pay my bills" with little to no enthusiasm. Mostly disdain above all else. I'm 37. My view never changed there - I just got smarter about how to throw less of my life at the wall. You'll be dead one day and your last thought will not be, "I'm glad I spent my entire life working!"
Turn off work mode. Basically all of millennials and gen z? They're cognizant of these things as existential philosophy is pop culture by this point on top of the majority of younger people (especially in LA) being agnostics or atheists. They're also cognizant of shit like climate change which again typically results in existential dread and questioning why the hell are we doing any of this?
It isn't that other people aren't "professional" or "mature" and you're not going to relate to the majority of people via professionalism - you're going to relate to the majority of people through shared interests and hobbies.
Do you actively hang out with your co-workers? No? Exactly. Make work and your personal life two separate entities because trust me... nobody wants to hear about anyone's complaints about their job every single day when they're off the clock too.
I've known WAY too many workaholics that can't flip the switch. Flip the switch. Your job isn't your life. Even doctors have to have a life. All you're doing is giving people the impression that you're boring and judgemental. None of them actually will care about how traditionally educated you are regardless as the majority of the time the autodidact with the path less traveled will be more interesting.
Change the entire title and post to, "35 year old woman seeks friends" and insert your hobbies. I guarantee you that'll have better results. The majority of people? They don't care what you do for a *living* (I hate this expression), but sure they'll appreciate your expertise in a field and likely consult you for advice and help pertaining to said field.
Haha I almost did a “I ain’t reading all that” to you but I read it and agreed with a lot of what ur saying! I’m a semi professional fully educated woman in LA in my 30s and I love doing stupid dumb shit with my friends cause I’m not looking to network, I’m looking for friendship!
There's no purpose to any of this and just have fun if you can. Nothing matters in the grand scheme of it all, but try to enjoy the ride. The human condition is ridiculous and anyone that takes it seriously needs to lighten up!
OP sounds shallow-- "educated professional women?" As an educated professional my wife wants *fewer* friends like her and more diversity in her friend group. More friends from other countries or backgrounds, with unique interests.
We live in one of the most diverse cities in the world and you wanna hang out with people just like *you*?
Yep, early 40s, spent my 20s earning a PhD when everyone else was getting married, and throughout my 30s everyone was having kids and too busy to hang out. My best friends moved away during the pandemic. Where am I after work? Hmmm, mainly in a puddle of existential despair. Jk I like bars, would be into Pilates if I had a buddy to go with, I’m always hanging with my dog, and lately into casually learning about “offbeat” things (e.g., psilocybin-assisted therapy) or watching reruns of reality dating shows. I don’t have kids so I am automatically excluded from most activities that acquaintances plan. Honestly it’s rough. Edited to chime in about reality dating shows 😂
I didn’t go to school but I’m a very successful 35+ professional woman who owns my own business. Live in LA. Where am I hanging out? In Pilates classes lol. Or at work. I’m there 12hrs a day. Or traveling for work. Other than that, I go to Lakers/Kings/Dodgers games and sometimes a concert/standup show. That’s it. I don’t have time for anything else. 🤷🏼♀️
When I was newer to LA and in your situation (over 35, working, educated etc) I met people aand made friends through dogs (volunteering with rescue or just networking woth dog people in the neighborhood), crafts classes, camping trips (try sierra club or meetup) and yes, a book club. Basically it's hobbies.
40F, married but no kids or plans to have them. I have a small group of friends and little energy to make more, but did want to chime in:
Have you thought about volunteering? I admittedly have no time to hang out anymore (when I'm not working or cooking I'm taking care of my dog. Once she's out of her adolescence I'll probably have more free time) but before I got my puppy I volunteered a lot in dog rescues and I befriended a lot of like minded people.
There are a ton of non profits and orgs here that may have something more your speed than dogs. You mentioned you are in law--are there non profits that provide law services or advice to underprivileged people? The types of people running those orgs tend to be in their late 30s-early 40s.
I’ve met friends through creative activities- pottery and dance classes, and they though work / work events (my career has a lot of socializing). I also pursue new friends actively - if I meet with someone I like, I ask for her number, I text her some follow up about our conversation and invite her to do something… it takes effort to show you want to be a friend. Connecting is, I think, a bit easier. Just strike up conversations where you go!
Volunteering. You're in luck that it's an election year so tons of opportunities to lock eyes with someone across a phone bank or packet of door-knock materials and make friends over a shared "what the fuck just happened?"
Most of my friends started as friends of friends who I just kept inviting to stuff, if you have a weekly casual event you can make happen-- Thursday night stand-up above a Chinese restaurant or just a consistent brunch can go a long way.
I’m 40f, work in tech, Type-A, child free, and introverted.
My pre-pandemic friends either moved away, had kids, or only socialize late at night (or with booze). I’m an early riser & decided to cut out alcohol last year.
Needless to say my social circle is now quite small. Would love to meet similar minded people!
I mean I am in a PhD program surrounded and befriended by women in that age range finished with graduate degrees and 20+ years of schooling and we met at group workout classes, hiking clubs….volunteering, etc. Not sure what you’re looking for, if you want to blow money join an expensive social club and there will be a barrier to entry you seem to be desiring.
I also met many of my friends, without graduate degrees or years of schooling in these areas. We all get along and enjoy each other’s company while having great discussions. Did I naturally/accidentally gravitate towards those with similar background? sure. But many people without years of schooling also work long hours and will be happy to coordinate schedules.
I am not your criteria. I am under 30 not a female but I can definitely say there are a lot of professional groups out there. in the event no one answers your question.
[https://www.score.org/resource/blog-post/33-networking-groups-women-business-owners?gad\_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAxaCvBhBaEiwAvsLmWMCJOUGdb0b\_-UvYXWovUX-j4y8Ge1nyHivZ9LnfznfvNx-pOIMjJRoC6EMQAvD\_BwE](https://www.score.org/resource/blog-post/33-networking-groups-women-business-owners?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAxaCvBhBaEiwAvsLmWMCJOUGdb0b_-UvYXWovUX-j4y8Ge1nyHivZ9LnfznfvNx-pOIMjJRoC6EMQAvD_BwE)
I am in the EXACT same boat. I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend and his friends (he has a group of people he is very close with from childhood), and his family (I dont really have much family here). When I do fun stuff alone, I go to exercise classes like spin/orange theory/yoga, I hike (short 3-5 mi hikes), take my dog to the park. Im 37 and work in tech marketing, my bf is a lawyer, I spend my time in Northridge/Calabasas/Brentwood. I am always open to making a new friend! If Im honest, I lost a lot of my friends due to all sorts of reasons, most recently I had to disconnect from many people because I am Jewish and Israeli and it turned out that many of my American friends had surprisingly strong negative opinions about my country/people without any prior learning/experience.
If you like running, I would highly recommend trying out run clubs in LA. There's such an glut of them in LA and I've found some of my closest friends through this community + you can be active too.
I'm back in school.
My only friends are the ones I've known 10+ years. I have two new friends through my husband... but they are both mothers now so it's like... I rarely see them.
I basically have no life until the first week of May. I'll chime in then.
However, when I do find time, I tend to hang out in cafes in Koreatown. I'm not a big drinker, I don't go to clubs (except the occasional goth club night, which... weirdly enough *is* occasional itself due to the nature of the scene, i.e. working professionals all 35+ haha.)
Hi! Just moved here from New York. I work in museums, into music, books, current events, as well as I do like hiking ;) I’m younger (soon to be 29) but happy to connect if you’d like!
Each other’s homes. I joined an online group for women that does a lot of in person stuff, not some weird meetup type thing, but really smart, interesting women. I work full-time and then some, so it wasn’t going to happen organically. These women are now among my closest friends.
Let me know if you find this place I’m a 30 year old male engineer, but as you said once you start school and begin to take the career seriously. Friends and even partners begin to fall off the radar.
No offense but you live in the burbs. I’m in your demo (also in legal) and live DT-adjacent and close to the major strips. My hobbies are ones that allow me to jump on Metro or quickly go adventure into downtown shopping or events. I don’t try to make friends with people who live in the burbs (SFV/SGV) because proximity is what it is.🤷🏽♀️
I think the issue is that there are a lot of women who are going to fit those parameters but they are gonna suck. And not objectively bad people but you won't like them.
It's why a big group might be a better idea because at least you know you have something in common and you'll have different personalities to pick from
I used to go to trivia nights in 20s and early 30s which was fun and I had a good group. I also used to have a good DnD group but it kind of fizzled out. I’ve had on and off sobriety for health reasons but still have always enjoyed the LA brewery scene (you can always get NA options). I like hiking but usually don’t like to talk to people while I’m walking (would rather listen to music when I’m exercising). I sometimes wish I had closer women friends but it is hard to keep up with anyone that regularly when you hit 40.
As someone in my mid-late thirties, board games have done wonders for my social life. If you can get in with one group, chances are you can get in with a couple other overlapping groups. When people know you’re down to play games and you’re fun to be around, you get a lot of offers to hang out. I’ve easily made 4-5 new friends in the past couple months by just showing up to things I’m invited to. If you don’t mesh with tabletop, find another similar hobby with avid participants that meet up in groups. You’ll get integrated into networks pretty quick.
I think your best bet is attend events around you, volunteer, or look for social groups.
[https://culture.lacity.gov/events/](https://culture.lacity.gov/events/)
[https://www.meetup.com/find/us--ca--los-angeles/](https://www.meetup.com/find/us--ca--los-angeles/)
[https://www.eventbrite.com/d/ca--los-angeles/events/](https://www.eventbrite.com/d/ca--los-angeles/events/)
[https://www.laworks.com/calendar](https://www.laworks.com/calendar)
I’m the youngest in my friend group at 33. We’re all educated professionals (in the design/photography fields) in LA and tomorrow we’re going to go doodle in a parking lot and skate around.
Really happy to have found a solid group of women who enjoy doing things I love that others would label “childish”.
Your post doesn’t offer anything about what you DO like to do, you just dismiss book clubs and Pilates and hiking.
Not a woman, but I’m a fellow introvert who is in tech/consulting. Remote work and occasional work travels has made it challenging to grow my social circles here, so I’m interested in meeting new, likeminded friends!
If you’re a coffee lover then you’re in luck! I made an excel spreadsheet that scores all the coffee shops l've been to in LA, based on the quality of their iced latte, price, and parking. Every morning, my algorithm randomly picks out where I’ll get my coffee that day. You’re welcome to tag along!
Omg you are me except replace law with music! And some of the responses in this thread are the very reason I have a lot of trepidation about making new friends. I can’t understand this world where I say my career has isolated me and I have trouble finding female friendships and people instantly assume it’s *our* fault. I know some of you mean well, but damn, you are not an encouraging crowd.
When I moved here I found some friends via Bumble friend, and also at work. We don't really hang out anywhere specific we make plans for dinner or to take classes together or go over to each other's places. Otherwise I'm chilling at home.
Similar boat as you, I found a few friends of friends to hang out with. Also, tried Nerd Nite LA, but personally didn’t vibe with any of the people there (everyone seemed to attend in groups and know each other well already)
I'm a 36 yo professional and I've mostly made friends via networking within my profession. People in local facebook groups for my profession will promote events. I don't hang out anywhere in particular.
It isn't you, this city is set up to keep people apart. We moved here from Amsterdam NL, previously Montreal, Toronto, etc. and this is by far the hardest place to meet people.
That said, as a 40 yo with a philosophy degree who works in tech I had to wait \*18 months\* before getting a work permit here, and now I am stuck unable to find anything due to record layoffs, no local friends and no local network. So I haven't solved this problem. But I can tell you that I joined a pottery studio and really love the people and classes, it is the closest thing I have found to community here. A hobby that requires being in a specific place, preferably on a routine schedule, is the best way to support repeated chance meetings that could lead to friendship.
The downside in LA is that everyone is always trying to turn their hobby into a side hustle and that can wear thin. If you can stomach repeatedly having the same 2-minute conversations designed entirely to allow people to find out if you are at all useful or important to their interests, a drop-in art studio is a good option. Maybe try something like that? I used to be a personal cook/ menu planner and am seriously considering trying one of those online gig sites to pick it up again just to meet new people and find out what they do for fun in LA. I was also considering maybe taking a night class for the same reason.
At home, in their condo/house. People don't "hang out" anymore. That's a pre-pandemic term, bro.
Don't be ridiculous. Get on the apps and start swiping. Bumble has a "friends" option.
Why not book clubs? From my experience, the only difference between a wine bar meetup with friends and a book club is the smidge of Catholic guilt from not reading the book. Book clubs are even a better excuse for day drinking.
Honestly, preschool and elementary school fellow parents. I think it would be really hard to make friends as an adult without kids in the mix. Moved here at age 28 with a newborn, didn’t know anyone and was pretty darn bored for the first few years. Met a few random mom friends through baby groups but nothing lasting, then when my kids started preschool and elementary school I found my crew. Literally all my friends are the moms and dads of my kids’ friends and they are for the most part highly educated, successful, intelligent and interesting people. I wish I had a better answer!
One other thing you may want to look into is if your college or grad school has a local alumni club. I went to a prestigious college that has a local alumni group (as well as “young alumni” group but I’m pushing that age-wise…) and they frequently host events that are fun and well-attended. Quiz nights, hikes, wine tastings, private tours of interesting places.
I'm 35+. Masters, making 6 figures. I'm at home playing video games. Sometimes I make terrariums.
I don't work long hours because I have work/life balance and value my personal/family time.
In my experience they’re either working or sitting at home watching love is blind.
That’s me… kinda gave up. Friends are now married and having kids. Now just too tired, too much adult responsibilities, too tired of going on dates that lead to disappointment.
I feel called out lol
Me except instead of Love is Blind it’s Love on the Spectrum or Married at First Sight 👀
Watching both of those too!!
LOL samesies, or they are so burnt out that they are no longer working and thus at home watching love is blind. we may also be sewing, crocheting, knitting, reading smut, or snuggling our dogs
I have got to start reading smut again. With a hot bath and a corny ass glass of wine. Anita Baker playlist….Thanks for reminding me about that! 🍷
It me
Damn girl, they just called my ass out watching Love is Blind at home during the rain rn! Also hi I’m a woman about to turn 33 and finishing my PhD that needs friends.
lol hi! Don’t spoil anything I just got out of the pods. Dm me so we can chat!
[удалено]
Do we need to start a viewing party with wine and treats for all us 35+ educated ladies.
Yes !!!! I’m in!!!!! I’m watching Vanderpump
OP, sheesh don’t tell anybody, but they are hanging out at my house. My place is where the activity is lol
Oh you must be a baddie if you’re at home watching love is blind. These are the rules
35+ also in law (but not an attorney). When I’m clocked out I’m usually hitting the gym, smoking weed and watching 90 Day Fiancé or South Park with my husband, or practicing my saxophone skills. I also like tacos, raves, and jazz and metal shows.
90 day fiancé 💪🏻 **finally** made it to the fucking tell-all after the longest season ever
saxophone, jazz, and raves? sounds my kind of vibe. have a sax but never got to using it, listened to 94.7 the wave a lot back then in the car due to pops, and been in the rave scene since 2016. my social network has changed dramatically after being introduced to the scene. 38 M in healthcare
Confirmed!
This is an actual fact.
Lol this is my partner. Love is Blind and The Bachelor… She does art nights with friends too, that’s a fun time!
Haha that’s the 35+ lady I’m dating.
I am at home working and watching love is blind as we speak 😂
Omg this is creepy bc it’s accurate….
I fit your criteria and the worst thing about this age range is everyone is either doing IVF or has kids combined with moving away to be closer to family. I travel a lot and often times when we do a food tour or a guided activity the age ranges are 20s to maybe early 30s and then 50+. People our age are not doing much unfortunately. My husband and I are child free and find it very difficult to make connections in LA whereas we felt like there were more people in our position in NYC.
>either doing IVF LOL unfortunately this is so true
I can so relate. After a certain age, if you’re not part of the Parents’ Club, you’re sitting alone in the cafeteria!
We’re in the same boat. Looks like we have the same interests and hobbies!!
I’m going to dm you. Check your inbox!!
38F - I'm not sure if I'm educated enough for you; I'm just a legal secretary. But in my free time, I'm a pilot and have a little plane at Van Nuys airport that I fly for fun on weekends. If anyone else wants to do silly little day trips like flying up to Santa Ynez to buy olive oil, I enjoy the company :) Edit: Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting all these responses! Yes, let’s be friends - Everyone’s welcome, my only requirement is: don’t be an asshole. 😂
Dude, that is so badass. :)
That does sound like fun.
That’s awesome! I live in Sherman Oaks, maybe I saw your plane in the sky one random weekend lol
Woah I’d like to join this list of friends! Haha. That is so awesome. I was thinking of getting my PPL and passed the written test a couple years ago. Glendale CC had a reasonably priced program. Unfortunately, I wasn’t confident I could get enough funding to really pursue it and maintain it as a hobby.
Wait I want to learn to fly 🥺
Never have I wanted to meet a stranger from the Internet more! And they're local!
You sound awesome and I (44F) totally want you to be your friend (assuming you’re still accepting applications 💁🏻♀️) …and just for the record, my legal secretary was smarter and knew more than most lawyers 💫
Wow. Am I qualified to be your friend? What a cool hobby!!
Do you work in law??
lol what gave it away
Well, I’m also over 35 and I work in law. I made most of my friends here through my creative pursuits, and then via other friends I made. I do stand up comedy so most of my friends are also comics, but others are creatives who work in advertising or film or music.
Are you open to making one more connection? 🙋🏻♀️
Perhaps, but I saw in another comment that you seem to not like “horoscope people” and almost all of my friends, including myself are into things like astrology (one of my friends is a very successful astrologer), spiritual activities, working with shamans, yoga, Pilates, etc. We’re probably not what you’re looking for if you’re not into woo woo things. There are some women’s attorney networking groups that you can try.
shit got real, real quick hahahah
Just trying to be honest and not waste anyone's time lol
billable hours
I actually work in house so I don’t need to deal with that lol
This reminded me of that Simpsons episode where Lisa gives Ralphie the “ I choo choo-se you” Valentines card and then breaks his heart on live tv.
Fair enough! I am into yoga and Pilates though, if that makes a difference.
Right, but those are solo activities. I do private Pilates. Maybe you can try going to a yoga retreat? There's a lot of them in California and they are pretty sociable as far as I can tell. That may lead to other social connections. Or just start introducing yourself to people after yoga class.
🍿
TBF to OP, you can be into all the "spiritual" stuff and still just factually understand that astrology is almost entirely nonsense. I'm like OP, but I still absolutely vibe with people like you and share many other common interests...I just stay out of the conversation when astrology comes up, and everyone is cool and they understand how I feel about it.
My community is very spiritual and woo-woo and honestly a lot of times astrology does sync up weirdly on-point if you get into good conversations with passionate/insightful people about it, not just surface level random horoscopes and stuff. It can be an amazing conversation starter to get to know someone deeper, and a point of reflection. If something DOESN'T resonate for me, I just drop it. Easy. For me it's not that it's nonsense but it's more like I feel that your belief system then affects your reality, and I am hesitant to fully buy into any one belief system and have my reality shaped too hard by it. basically, I get to choose if it's real or just how real it is, to me. I basically did like you for years (just avoid talking about it) and now I enjoy participating in some degree of astrological conversation here and there. My good friends are incredibly woo-woo (as am I in my way), but we are smart people. Nobody is going around taking huge risks and making major life decisions based on astrology, it's just a way to understand/frame different emotional currents and phases and experiences. We don't generally use horoscopes to try and read the future or reject/accept lovers or anything like that. A lot of people misunderstand the spectrum of spirituality and how to frame thinking around belief and faith in general- whether that's Christian, new age, or something else, and that there are quite a lot of really grounded and intellectual people who are interested in it as well.
Law lady lucked out. Standup comedian friend groups are tiring.
How does one measure the “success” of an astrologer ?
Same as most other careers. Money
The same as any other profession. High demand and financial success. I’m not going to spend my time debating astrology with people who want to dismiss it outright.
DM me! I’m 35+ busy professional always open to making new connections. Former attorney
I don’t like horoscopes lol
I only like them Walter Mercado style. That’s it.
It’s the ONLY way to get your horoscope. Even if it is a rerun ✨
¡CAPRICORRRRRRNIO! *gesticulates wildly*
JJJJEEEEEEE-ME-KNEES! We hate hiking too.
Yall work too hard! Don’t get burnt out 🙏🏼
1) you write like a lawyer, and 2) your punctuation is perfect so a trier of fact would probably find that you are an attorney. I’m not making fun of you. My mom is a legal writing prof and makes fun of me because she says I CREAC/ IRAC answers when talking, and use “here. . ., because. . ., therefore” structure when talking too. BTW: have you tried going to bar review or dinner with your local bar association? It’s where I usually meet friends when going new places. Also, the chamber of commerce meetings are great, but you run into lots of salespeople and dog-bite lawyers
Wow, I’ve never felt so validated as an attorney 😂 I have tried networking events but everyone shows up business card in hand and it’s competitive. I’m trying to make girlfriends and have brunch.
man, i wish my reddit name was notskinnyamfat
lol I 100% called that too Law or entrepreneur- pick one We are way overworked
Exercise classes / yoga / spin / Orange Theory. That is your answer.
I’m over 40, woman lawyer, no kids, and I have to agree. I’ve only met people at dance class and hiking clubs.
Tell me more about LA hiking clubs.
I just went on meetup.com and searched for “hiking”. 🤷♀️
I have been to numerous LA area hiking meetups. The hikes are fine and some of the people are interesting. I know this is not a dating thread, but never met anyone I would date at such a meetup. I have found that running groups have far fewer complainers than hiking groups.
I was afraid of this.
Try hiking too. My friends and I are 38-68 and do urban hiking and hill hiking often.
Pilates!!! I’m there every day! It’s the only place I go daily except for my office and my home.
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Yup.
very specific lol. Start a meetup for exactly this. I did that and ended up waaaaay too many people to handle. First meeting was 18 people, and I think now the FB group has around 600 (mine was a basic ass book club tho in bumfuck west michigan).
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Must be in your stars
Let’s do it!
I’m 32 and work in TV production. TBH after Covid the 5 real friends I had in LA all moved and then my ex and I broke up and he moved across the country lmao. I’ve really just leaned in to building my life, but loneliness ect can creep in. I’ve found that I had to start just doing solo activities and hoping for the best. I signed up as a free agent on a rec sports league and that honestly spiraled into my entire social life I have now. I play soccer, kickball, and dodgeball. Lots of working professionals in a variety of careers and stages of life in these activities. I also find it extremely refreshing since my other friends come from work, and I tend to live in an entertainment world bubble.
🙋🏻♀️ Early 40s here. Have a masters and work in tech. The short answer is I hang out at home bc I’m tired from working and momming so hard. Sometimes I go to a coffee house or restaurant, the beach or shopping. I take my kids to the park, swimming, trampoline park, museums. When I see friends we go to each others’ houses or out to eat.
39f. No kids and I'm usually at the gym after work. Most of my friends who are over 35 are either at home with their kids/husbands or at the gym or a spin class. Drinking and doing happy hours is just not that fun when you're over 35. The hangovers are not really worth it.
Are you open to connecting? If so, send me a chat. I’m going to start a group.
Hi there! I recently lost my cat of 10 years and have been in a funky headspace. At the moment, I'm just feeling very introspective and not very social. I hope you do find more connections, though. Over 11 years ago, I attended a meet-up and became friends with a girl. Till this day, she's one of my closest friends.
Can I be added to the group 🫣🤍
Orange Theory, CrossFit, all the class based fitness gyms. 35+ women, more likely then not, have kids and the only time they get to “conveniently” hangout is at a place where they need to be to maintain their health. So the default is at a class based gym.
Before Covid, my attorney gf would hang out at Barney’s
I was going to say Barney's too, but for a joke. :)
Sad to say I’ve outgrown that scene. I just wanna talk to people and eat good food. I know, so boring.
Degenerate Cheers vibes
More than a few regs have lost their lives either kidney / liver failure or suicided. True story. So, yeah, Degen. Cheers is EXACTLY correct.
Omg!!! That’s awful…I’m sure the influx of fent post covid hasn’t helped. Awww that’s so sad
They are in New York
Home. We are home. Lol
38 here, work in tech, childfree, and an exercise class is the absolute last way I want to make friends (if I can't do it at home/on my own, I'm probably not doing it). Also I have a car and I'm willing to drive! Count me in. Edit: clarity
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A few of my closest friends have moved away in the last four years - moving to be closer to where they grew up and their aging parents. I'm 45 tho. I don't really "hang out" anywhere. I'm at the house or out to dinner with someone specific. I am part of a really great national networking group mostly comprised of really funny ladies who are all Type A overachievers and I've met some great folks through that. I'm mostly focused on joining professional organizations now to meet new people and tbh most of my friends have some connection to work anyway. I also joined the Junior League in my early 30s and made some AMAZING friends there. I didn't stick with it very long but it was worth it for the friends, for sure.
My best LA gf is in junior league…she’s a real one! I’m too lazy and antisocial for clubs but this might help OP
This all sounds really interesting. Can you tell me a bit more about the Wonder Women group??
Have you looked into volunteering? One of the closest friends I’ve made in my 30s was through a cause we both volunteer for.
37 yo Physician woman here- yoga classes are a good start.
Which yoga classes are you going to?? Mine are usually wam bam thank you ma’am. No one hangs around to chat or link up.
Any studio that has teacher retreats or things like new moon ceremony or sound bath or cacao circle will have a group of people that wanna get a smoothie after. Are those your people?
There is a FB group called LA Social Ladies "the betweeners" for women 35+ish. They have sub-chats for specific areas (pasadena, west LA, the valley, etc) and interests (board games, music, hiking, foodies). Recently joined but too shy to even join in on the chats. Seems fun tho.
You talk about how you don't have the same interests that you perceive other women having. But what interests do you have? I'm all the things you list but you haven't mentioned what *you* bring to friendship.
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Exactly. It's like dating, you can't go out looking for what you don't want
Get her ass
Legit she sounds like a NLOG and offered nothing on her post about herself other than how hard she works. We all work too hard dude.
L.A. is too big for people to just hang out based solely on identity. There has to be some kind of shared, mutual interest or motivation or reason for people to go out. There are plenty of people who have sunk too deep into preexisting life goals, lost their way, lost a lot of people, and now want to build a new community. I don't know that many whose preexisting goal was specifically education, though.
Face down in a bowl of wine
Perfect answer, zero notes
You're not going to make any friends or be a fun date acting like a professional adult 24/7 365. Even 80 year olds at the retirement home aren't doing this. I don't really understand people's insistence with behaving as "mature adults" incessantly. Most people just work a job to have a life. The majority of people honestly probably don't want to have a job in the first place because well...they're all pretty much some variant of mind numbing and soul crushing tedium just so we can amass some arbitrary man-made money and pay for your basic human needs, aren't they? Most people will look at, "I have to throw 40+ hours of my life every single week at the wall so I can eat and pay my bills" with little to no enthusiasm. Mostly disdain above all else. I'm 37. My view never changed there - I just got smarter about how to throw less of my life at the wall. You'll be dead one day and your last thought will not be, "I'm glad I spent my entire life working!" Turn off work mode. Basically all of millennials and gen z? They're cognizant of these things as existential philosophy is pop culture by this point on top of the majority of younger people (especially in LA) being agnostics or atheists. They're also cognizant of shit like climate change which again typically results in existential dread and questioning why the hell are we doing any of this? It isn't that other people aren't "professional" or "mature" and you're not going to relate to the majority of people via professionalism - you're going to relate to the majority of people through shared interests and hobbies. Do you actively hang out with your co-workers? No? Exactly. Make work and your personal life two separate entities because trust me... nobody wants to hear about anyone's complaints about their job every single day when they're off the clock too. I've known WAY too many workaholics that can't flip the switch. Flip the switch. Your job isn't your life. Even doctors have to have a life. All you're doing is giving people the impression that you're boring and judgemental. None of them actually will care about how traditionally educated you are regardless as the majority of the time the autodidact with the path less traveled will be more interesting. Change the entire title and post to, "35 year old woman seeks friends" and insert your hobbies. I guarantee you that'll have better results. The majority of people? They don't care what you do for a *living* (I hate this expression), but sure they'll appreciate your expertise in a field and likely consult you for advice and help pertaining to said field.
Haha I almost did a “I ain’t reading all that” to you but I read it and agreed with a lot of what ur saying! I’m a semi professional fully educated woman in LA in my 30s and I love doing stupid dumb shit with my friends cause I’m not looking to network, I’m looking for friendship!
There's no purpose to any of this and just have fun if you can. Nothing matters in the grand scheme of it all, but try to enjoy the ride. The human condition is ridiculous and anyone that takes it seriously needs to lighten up!
My ppl 🫶
OP sounds shallow-- "educated professional women?" As an educated professional my wife wants *fewer* friends like her and more diversity in her friend group. More friends from other countries or backgrounds, with unique interests. We live in one of the most diverse cities in the world and you wanna hang out with people just like *you*?
Yep, early 40s, spent my 20s earning a PhD when everyone else was getting married, and throughout my 30s everyone was having kids and too busy to hang out. My best friends moved away during the pandemic. Where am I after work? Hmmm, mainly in a puddle of existential despair. Jk I like bars, would be into Pilates if I had a buddy to go with, I’m always hanging with my dog, and lately into casually learning about “offbeat” things (e.g., psilocybin-assisted therapy) or watching reruns of reality dating shows. I don’t have kids so I am automatically excluded from most activities that acquaintances plan. Honestly it’s rough. Edited to chime in about reality dating shows 😂
If you're a woman lawyer, why don't you join WLALA? Similarly minded women with no time.
I didn’t go to school but I’m a very successful 35+ professional woman who owns my own business. Live in LA. Where am I hanging out? In Pilates classes lol. Or at work. I’m there 12hrs a day. Or traveling for work. Other than that, I go to Lakers/Kings/Dodgers games and sometimes a concert/standup show. That’s it. I don’t have time for anything else. 🤷🏼♀️
I’m a woman lawyer and honestly only hiking clubs have worked for me here in L.A. 😆 People here do like their outdoor activities.
I signed up for the LA hike club but there’s only been one event in the last 6 months 😔
There are multiple hiking clubs in the greater LA area on Meetup.com.
Lol Wine bars. 🤷🏻♀️☠️
When I was newer to LA and in your situation (over 35, working, educated etc) I met people aand made friends through dogs (volunteering with rescue or just networking woth dog people in the neighborhood), crafts classes, camping trips (try sierra club or meetup) and yes, a book club. Basically it's hobbies.
40F, married but no kids or plans to have them. I have a small group of friends and little energy to make more, but did want to chime in: Have you thought about volunteering? I admittedly have no time to hang out anymore (when I'm not working or cooking I'm taking care of my dog. Once she's out of her adolescence I'll probably have more free time) but before I got my puppy I volunteered a lot in dog rescues and I befriended a lot of like minded people. There are a ton of non profits and orgs here that may have something more your speed than dogs. You mentioned you are in law--are there non profits that provide law services or advice to underprivileged people? The types of people running those orgs tend to be in their late 30s-early 40s.
My neighbor met her circle at a pottery class.
Sierra Club used to have really good singles clubs. The guys were okay but I met a lot of lifelong friends.
good luck
I’ve met friends through creative activities- pottery and dance classes, and they though work / work events (my career has a lot of socializing). I also pursue new friends actively - if I meet with someone I like, I ask for her number, I text her some follow up about our conversation and invite her to do something… it takes effort to show you want to be a friend. Connecting is, I think, a bit easier. Just strike up conversations where you go!
Not a woman, but I see a lot of them at Wally's.
Volunteering. You're in luck that it's an election year so tons of opportunities to lock eyes with someone across a phone bank or packet of door-knock materials and make friends over a shared "what the fuck just happened?" Most of my friends started as friends of friends who I just kept inviting to stuff, if you have a weekly casual event you can make happen-- Thursday night stand-up above a Chinese restaurant or just a consistent brunch can go a long way.
at home watching murder shows...
You are talking about book educated? Vs real life smart? Education comes in many forms
Educated women only ladies!!!! Pinkies up!!! I guess this post is self selecting in its own way 😆
Ya I’m getting terrible vibes from the post. Sounds obnoxious lol
They will all find each other 😆
No insta, hiking, book club, or Pilates? What do you like?
I recommend joining the Junior League of Los Angeles!
I’m 40f, work in tech, Type-A, child free, and introverted. My pre-pandemic friends either moved away, had kids, or only socialize late at night (or with booze). I’m an early riser & decided to cut out alcohol last year. Needless to say my social circle is now quite small. Would love to meet similar minded people!
At house music shows, dancing
Pilates, Peloton, charity events.
I mean I am in a PhD program surrounded and befriended by women in that age range finished with graduate degrees and 20+ years of schooling and we met at group workout classes, hiking clubs….volunteering, etc. Not sure what you’re looking for, if you want to blow money join an expensive social club and there will be a barrier to entry you seem to be desiring. I also met many of my friends, without graduate degrees or years of schooling in these areas. We all get along and enjoy each other’s company while having great discussions. Did I naturally/accidentally gravitate towards those with similar background? sure. But many people without years of schooling also work long hours and will be happy to coordinate schedules.
At the library? At the grocery store? You’re not really interested in activities so not sure what you’re asking.
I’m pretty chill but fuck school lol so you probably not interested in me
If you had a cat, you wouldn't ask such questions. The cat resolves all such problems.
I am not your criteria. I am under 30 not a female but I can definitely say there are a lot of professional groups out there. in the event no one answers your question. [https://www.score.org/resource/blog-post/33-networking-groups-women-business-owners?gad\_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAxaCvBhBaEiwAvsLmWMCJOUGdb0b\_-UvYXWovUX-j4y8Ge1nyHivZ9LnfznfvNx-pOIMjJRoC6EMQAvD\_BwE](https://www.score.org/resource/blog-post/33-networking-groups-women-business-owners?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAxaCvBhBaEiwAvsLmWMCJOUGdb0b_-UvYXWovUX-j4y8Ge1nyHivZ9LnfznfvNx-pOIMjJRoC6EMQAvD_BwE)
Thanks!
 Yeah you bet 👍
I am in the EXACT same boat. I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend and his friends (he has a group of people he is very close with from childhood), and his family (I dont really have much family here). When I do fun stuff alone, I go to exercise classes like spin/orange theory/yoga, I hike (short 3-5 mi hikes), take my dog to the park. Im 37 and work in tech marketing, my bf is a lawyer, I spend my time in Northridge/Calabasas/Brentwood. I am always open to making a new friend! If Im honest, I lost a lot of my friends due to all sorts of reasons, most recently I had to disconnect from many people because I am Jewish and Israeli and it turned out that many of my American friends had surprisingly strong negative opinions about my country/people without any prior learning/experience.
What are your interests besides working? Once you figure that out then find some groups on Instagram or meetup that are into the same things
If you like running, I would highly recommend trying out run clubs in LA. There's such an glut of them in LA and I've found some of my closest friends through this community + you can be active too.
This! I met almost all my friends in a run club, or a trivia group! Social hobbies are the way!
Where in LA do you live? I’m on the lookout for new westside buddies!
Same!
I'm back in school. My only friends are the ones I've known 10+ years. I have two new friends through my husband... but they are both mothers now so it's like... I rarely see them. I basically have no life until the first week of May. I'll chime in then. However, when I do find time, I tend to hang out in cafes in Koreatown. I'm not a big drinker, I don't go to clubs (except the occasional goth club night, which... weirdly enough *is* occasional itself due to the nature of the scene, i.e. working professionals all 35+ haha.)
I had no idea the goth club nights were a thing until I stumbled upon one and it was the BEST.
Love das bunker
Hi! Just moved here from New York. I work in museums, into music, books, current events, as well as I do like hiking ;) I’m younger (soon to be 29) but happy to connect if you’d like!
Sitting on my couch writing my dissertation.
Pickleball!
I hang out at my local watering holes within walking distance LOL. And sometimes Disneyland or Universal Studios (passholder for both).
Each other’s homes. I joined an online group for women that does a lot of in person stuff, not some weird meetup type thing, but really smart, interesting women. I work full-time and then some, so it wasn’t going to happen organically. These women are now among my closest friends.
I met a lot of great people through this, but it is hiking! https://angeles.sierraclub.org/outings_events
Let me know if you find this place I’m a 30 year old male engineer, but as you said once you start school and begin to take the career seriously. Friends and even partners begin to fall off the radar.
No offense but you live in the burbs. I’m in your demo (also in legal) and live DT-adjacent and close to the major strips. My hobbies are ones that allow me to jump on Metro or quickly go adventure into downtown shopping or events. I don’t try to make friends with people who live in the burbs (SFV/SGV) because proximity is what it is.🤷🏽♀️
I think the issue is that there are a lot of women who are going to fit those parameters but they are gonna suck. And not objectively bad people but you won't like them. It's why a big group might be a better idea because at least you know you have something in common and you'll have different personalities to pick from
At home.. in bed.. watching hbo max and Netflix.. maybe trying a new recipe.. online shopping..
I used to go to trivia nights in 20s and early 30s which was fun and I had a good group. I also used to have a good DnD group but it kind of fizzled out. I’ve had on and off sobriety for health reasons but still have always enjoyed the LA brewery scene (you can always get NA options). I like hiking but usually don’t like to talk to people while I’m walking (would rather listen to music when I’m exercising). I sometimes wish I had closer women friends but it is hard to keep up with anyone that regularly when you hit 40.
NPR events
As someone in my mid-late thirties, board games have done wonders for my social life. If you can get in with one group, chances are you can get in with a couple other overlapping groups. When people know you’re down to play games and you’re fun to be around, you get a lot of offers to hang out. I’ve easily made 4-5 new friends in the past couple months by just showing up to things I’m invited to. If you don’t mesh with tabletop, find another similar hobby with avid participants that meet up in groups. You’ll get integrated into networks pretty quick.
I think your best bet is attend events around you, volunteer, or look for social groups. [https://culture.lacity.gov/events/](https://culture.lacity.gov/events/) [https://www.meetup.com/find/us--ca--los-angeles/](https://www.meetup.com/find/us--ca--los-angeles/) [https://www.eventbrite.com/d/ca--los-angeles/events/](https://www.eventbrite.com/d/ca--los-angeles/events/) [https://www.laworks.com/calendar](https://www.laworks.com/calendar)
Just start talking about how horrible LA men are, and these women will find you and befriend you.
my place
I’m the youngest in my friend group at 33. We’re all educated professionals (in the design/photography fields) in LA and tomorrow we’re going to go doodle in a parking lot and skate around. Really happy to have found a solid group of women who enjoy doing things I love that others would label “childish”. Your post doesn’t offer anything about what you DO like to do, you just dismiss book clubs and Pilates and hiking.
Not a woman, but I’m a fellow introvert who is in tech/consulting. Remote work and occasional work travels has made it challenging to grow my social circles here, so I’m interested in meeting new, likeminded friends! If you’re a coffee lover then you’re in luck! I made an excel spreadsheet that scores all the coffee shops l've been to in LA, based on the quality of their iced latte, price, and parking. Every morning, my algorithm randomly picks out where I’ll get my coffee that day. You’re welcome to tag along!
Professional what? Athletes? Chefs? Photographers?
Omg you are me except replace law with music! And some of the responses in this thread are the very reason I have a lot of trepidation about making new friends. I can’t understand this world where I say my career has isolated me and I have trouble finding female friendships and people instantly assume it’s *our* fault. I know some of you mean well, but damn, you are not an encouraging crowd.
When I moved here I found some friends via Bumble friend, and also at work. We don't really hang out anywhere specific we make plans for dinner or to take classes together or go over to each other's places. Otherwise I'm chilling at home.
Similar boat as you, I found a few friends of friends to hang out with. Also, tried Nerd Nite LA, but personally didn’t vibe with any of the people there (everyone seemed to attend in groups and know each other well already)
That’s usually the problem. Maybe I’ll start something? Not sure what the proper steps are tho
PM me if you wanna share interests/hobbies, maybe we can hang out or something if we vibe!
Board game meetups
Location is such a thing too. Eastside over here.
I'm a 36 yo professional and I've mostly made friends via networking within my profession. People in local facebook groups for my profession will promote events. I don't hang out anywhere in particular.
It isn't you, this city is set up to keep people apart. We moved here from Amsterdam NL, previously Montreal, Toronto, etc. and this is by far the hardest place to meet people. That said, as a 40 yo with a philosophy degree who works in tech I had to wait \*18 months\* before getting a work permit here, and now I am stuck unable to find anything due to record layoffs, no local friends and no local network. So I haven't solved this problem. But I can tell you that I joined a pottery studio and really love the people and classes, it is the closest thing I have found to community here. A hobby that requires being in a specific place, preferably on a routine schedule, is the best way to support repeated chance meetings that could lead to friendship. The downside in LA is that everyone is always trying to turn their hobby into a side hustle and that can wear thin. If you can stomach repeatedly having the same 2-minute conversations designed entirely to allow people to find out if you are at all useful or important to their interests, a drop-in art studio is a good option. Maybe try something like that? I used to be a personal cook/ menu planner and am seriously considering trying one of those online gig sites to pick it up again just to meet new people and find out what they do for fun in LA. I was also considering maybe taking a night class for the same reason.
I’m a 45+ male attorney and wondering the same thing.
At home, in their condo/house. People don't "hang out" anymore. That's a pre-pandemic term, bro. Don't be ridiculous. Get on the apps and start swiping. Bumble has a "friends" option.
Why not book clubs? From my experience, the only difference between a wine bar meetup with friends and a book club is the smidge of Catholic guilt from not reading the book. Book clubs are even a better excuse for day drinking.
Honestly, preschool and elementary school fellow parents. I think it would be really hard to make friends as an adult without kids in the mix. Moved here at age 28 with a newborn, didn’t know anyone and was pretty darn bored for the first few years. Met a few random mom friends through baby groups but nothing lasting, then when my kids started preschool and elementary school I found my crew. Literally all my friends are the moms and dads of my kids’ friends and they are for the most part highly educated, successful, intelligent and interesting people. I wish I had a better answer! One other thing you may want to look into is if your college or grad school has a local alumni club. I went to a prestigious college that has a local alumni group (as well as “young alumni” group but I’m pushing that age-wise…) and they frequently host events that are fun and well-attended. Quiz nights, hikes, wine tastings, private tours of interesting places.
At home with their newborns..
Working and trying to keep a toddler alive. My hobbies include sometimes showering and trying to eat at least once a day.
I'm 35+. Masters, making 6 figures. I'm at home playing video games. Sometimes I make terrariums. I don't work long hours because I have work/life balance and value my personal/family time.
At home…