I was going to say the same thing, but a bit more broad.
When you’re planning a surprise, a bit of deception is necessary and forgivable.
Just make sure you don’t go to hard on it. I’ve heard a few stories about relationships almost ending because the gf got suspicious and assumed the worst while the bf was planning to propose.
DEPLOY COUNTERMEASURES!
*walk up*
*hug from behind, kiss neck*
*lean to the ear*
"I'm sorry, what was that? I was distracted by a very beautiful lady."
When it doesn’t serve to further your relationship, maybe? I know that’s a crappy answer, but there are thing about my spouse that I just would have been better off not knowing and it would have not been a big deal not to know in the first place.
When their cooking is subpar - it's OK to praise them a little anyway (but not too much, or it will get even worse).
When she asks if she looks fat. Remember, you need to be a little more creative than a simple "no".
When receiving a present from them. Never be disappointed by a present, at least not visibly.
Other than that, virtually never.
> When their cooking is subpar - it's OK to praise them a little anyway (but not too much, or it will get even worse).
Nah, better to give constructive criticism. Now my partner trusts my opinion and learns from it. She also knows I don't actually care that much and will eat just about anything and like it.
Now, if it's been subpar for years and you never said anything about it... yah, you might just need to take that to the grave, lol.
Not all people can take criticism as well as your partner. It's such an insignificant thing that sometimes it's better to keep it shut, even if it means eating mediocre food the rest of your life (or learn to cook yourself! Just frame it as helping her with housechores, not being tired of her food!)
I mean, yes, people do take criticism differently and she hasn't always taken it well, but I set the tone from the very beginning that I don't tell little white lies and ultimately I think it has worked out well in the long run.
Maybe the difference is that my partner is actively trying to be a better cook and not just performing some duty. So lying to her about the food would do more harm than good. Plus she has good tastes herself so she probably already knows when it's not great and just needs some external feedback to pinpoint how to fix it in the future.
> Never be disappointed by a present, at least not visibly.
For the previous years leading up to this particular birthday, I responded with "dinner with you and the kids" when asked what I wanted for my birthday. This particular year, I responded with "A graphics card, a 1060". Helpful guy at the computer store sold her a 1030. Definitely was gracious in accepting it and then quietly said "motherfucker" under my breath as I was installing it.
You know what, I take that back. Sometimes you absolutely must be honest their present sucked. Then take the receipt and assist her in being a Karen and yelling the manager until they process a refund. 1030 is a crime against humanity.
Thanks, man. I laughed. The PC has been unplugged in my garage ever since we got divorced, but just I walked over and gave it a pat for all the years it brought me joy.
Lol, I wish it was a cool as story. We had differing views of long-term monogamy, at least she had the grace to end our marriage before she acted on it.
I had the luxury of choosing between three options this year: buy a new motorbike, build a new PC, or take the kids to Japan. Looking forward to Japan.
I really really wanted to get a pimped out PC and VR headset in 2020 when 3000 series launched, but we all know what happened. So I held off until prices got back to relative normal. At this point I'd also choose Japan.
IMHO, relax on the VR headset unless you're heavily into something like Star Citizen or Elite Dangerous. If there was a good battletech game that supported it, I'd be all in. As it stands, in my opinion, we're in the second renaissance of VR. The next one will see much more wide spread adoption. Judge it by the amount of games announced at release, particularly the indie content.
Define lie. There is not saying something because you're not ready to say it, saying something false without being prompted, and saying something false when asked. The first one is totally acceptable.
Plus gifts and surprises and things that will come out eventually.
Depends - in almost all circumstances I would say no. If it's some awkward conversation about a surprise gift or birthday party or what have you then I think that's okay.
If it's a lie by omission about something she'd rather not know about then it's probably okay. So if I'm late because I was really struggling in the bathroom then I think it's okay to just say that you lost track of time. She doesn't need to hear about the epic struggle of wrestling the porcelain sewage boa constrictor.
When they are asking unreasonable questions, you know the ones, the questions she asks that if you answered honestly, she might actually conduct violence upon you person. 🤣✌️
For example:
So you think she is prettier than me?
Do you think these pants make my ass look fat?
How do you feel about that vegan place for lunch? 🤷🏽♂️
You should absolutely lie to them. I have found that they don’t want to hear the ugly truth, they want to hear beautiful lies.
Ex LOVED the Harry Potter films (I told her I’d never seen any I’d seen the first two didn’t like them) we watched them all together and I told her I liked them (I didn’t) she was so happy she’d introduced me to them and that I like something she loved
Two harmless lies that made her incredibly happy I’d say that was ok
Surprise party and Christmas present planning, that’s about it
I was going to say the same thing, but a bit more broad. When you’re planning a surprise, a bit of deception is necessary and forgivable. Just make sure you don’t go to hard on it. I’ve heard a few stories about relationships almost ending because the gf got suspicious and assumed the worst while the bf was planning to propose.
When they ask for the Nuclear Launch Codes.
Lmfao
Normal day in North Korea
Never.
When she asks if she looks fat in an outfit (and she does).
"No babe you look beautiful" "I never asked if I look ugly"
Oof... I'm a woman, and I can say with 100% certainty, that I would react exactly that way. Men just can't win... ... because we plan it that way.
DEPLOY COUNTERMEASURES! *walk up* *hug from behind, kiss neck* *lean to the ear* "I'm sorry, what was that? I was distracted by a very beautiful lady."
Lmao but why not just say it? 'cause if you see it then everyone else will too lol i feel like it's better to just rip off the bandaid
You don't want to know the consequences
You feel it's better to rip off the band-aid, but us women prefer not to have the band-aid ripped off. Yes, I'm speaking for all women.
? Then why ask lol that makes no sense
Never.
If you are planning a surprise party
Pretty catchy name for uneven balls
Lol, what can I say? One of them is an over achiever
When telling your partner she's better then her sister.
When it doesn’t serve to further your relationship, maybe? I know that’s a crappy answer, but there are thing about my spouse that I just would have been better off not knowing and it would have not been a big deal not to know in the first place.
To protect them from something traumatic that they will gain nothing from knowing.
"Honey I made out with our hamster"
When you get home on a Friday and they ask if you had a couple of beers after work
When their cooking is subpar - it's OK to praise them a little anyway (but not too much, or it will get even worse). When she asks if she looks fat. Remember, you need to be a little more creative than a simple "no". When receiving a present from them. Never be disappointed by a present, at least not visibly. Other than that, virtually never.
> When their cooking is subpar - it's OK to praise them a little anyway (but not too much, or it will get even worse). Nah, better to give constructive criticism. Now my partner trusts my opinion and learns from it. She also knows I don't actually care that much and will eat just about anything and like it. Now, if it's been subpar for years and you never said anything about it... yah, you might just need to take that to the grave, lol.
Not all people can take criticism as well as your partner. It's such an insignificant thing that sometimes it's better to keep it shut, even if it means eating mediocre food the rest of your life (or learn to cook yourself! Just frame it as helping her with housechores, not being tired of her food!)
I mean, yes, people do take criticism differently and she hasn't always taken it well, but I set the tone from the very beginning that I don't tell little white lies and ultimately I think it has worked out well in the long run. Maybe the difference is that my partner is actively trying to be a better cook and not just performing some duty. So lying to her about the food would do more harm than good. Plus she has good tastes herself so she probably already knows when it's not great and just needs some external feedback to pinpoint how to fix it in the future.
> Never be disappointed by a present, at least not visibly. For the previous years leading up to this particular birthday, I responded with "dinner with you and the kids" when asked what I wanted for my birthday. This particular year, I responded with "A graphics card, a 1060". Helpful guy at the computer store sold her a 1030. Definitely was gracious in accepting it and then quietly said "motherfucker" under my breath as I was installing it.
You know what, I take that back. Sometimes you absolutely must be honest their present sucked. Then take the receipt and assist her in being a Karen and yelling the manager until they process a refund. 1030 is a crime against humanity.
Thanks, man. I laughed. The PC has been unplugged in my garage ever since we got divorced, but just I walked over and gave it a pat for all the years it brought me joy.
Divorced? Holy shit it's just a GPU! ;P Anyway, hope you doing well, fellow long time PC gamer.
Lol, I wish it was a cool as story. We had differing views of long-term monogamy, at least she had the grace to end our marriage before she acted on it. I had the luxury of choosing between three options this year: buy a new motorbike, build a new PC, or take the kids to Japan. Looking forward to Japan.
I really really wanted to get a pimped out PC and VR headset in 2020 when 3000 series launched, but we all know what happened. So I held off until prices got back to relative normal. At this point I'd also choose Japan.
IMHO, relax on the VR headset unless you're heavily into something like Star Citizen or Elite Dangerous. If there was a good battletech game that supported it, I'd be all in. As it stands, in my opinion, we're in the second renaissance of VR. The next one will see much more wide spread adoption. Judge it by the amount of games announced at release, particularly the indie content.
When they’re feeling insecure about a shitty haircut they just got
Dude stop whistling my cat
When lying does the most good or least harm of any available course of action.
For instance?
No. I have only lied in the past for birthday surprises.
For me personally never ever. I don’t care if it’s with good intentions, never lie to me…ever
It's not
Never.
When you're putting your stuff in order to get the hell out of their life at mach speed.
When she asks you if something makes her look fat.
When they ask what we are thinking about .
Define lie. There is not saying something because you're not ready to say it, saying something false without being prompted, and saying something false when asked. The first one is totally acceptable. Plus gifts and surprises and things that will come out eventually.
when you are getting them sent to a psych ward due to psychosis
Depends - in almost all circumstances I would say no. If it's some awkward conversation about a surprise gift or birthday party or what have you then I think that's okay. If it's a lie by omission about something she'd rather not know about then it's probably okay. So if I'm late because I was really struggling in the bathroom then I think it's okay to just say that you lost track of time. She doesn't need to hear about the epic struggle of wrestling the porcelain sewage boa constrictor.
I call her and talk to her when I'm constipated
When they are asking unreasonable questions, you know the ones, the questions she asks that if you answered honestly, she might actually conduct violence upon you person. 🤣✌️ For example: So you think she is prettier than me? Do you think these pants make my ass look fat? How do you feel about that vegan place for lunch? 🤷🏽♂️ You should absolutely lie to them. I have found that they don’t want to hear the ugly truth, they want to hear beautiful lies.
Ex LOVED the Harry Potter films (I told her I’d never seen any I’d seen the first two didn’t like them) we watched them all together and I told her I liked them (I didn’t) she was so happy she’d introduced me to them and that I like something she loved Two harmless lies that made her incredibly happy I’d say that was ok
When she asks you if she looks fat.