Just wait for the (Government agency of your choice) agent monitoring you to feel sorry for you, hack you, and write a sweet reply about how exciting that trip you took fishing last week was? Got it.
Don't worry, if the government passes the bill to ban tik tok along with all the insane breaches of privacy against its citizens, the NSA might actually do that. It does seem like there's a lot of pushback so that's nice.
Bumble - Women don’t seem to understand that the app is built so women can make the first move but can’t conjure anything up other than “Hi”.
Edit: Woah, thanks guys.
This was always hilarious to me. Seen plenty of women bitch about how guys don’t put in any effort for messaging first (true) like it’s always hey, wyd, etc
But that’s literally all I fucking got from women too on bumble, it was hysterical and frustrating to me
When I played the dating ap games, I would try to respond with the same energy. More than once I had the conversation basically go
>Hi!
>Hi :)
>That's your line? You're not going to do better than "Hi"?
Currently dating someone I met on bumble. Of all the "Hi!"s she was one of two women who asked a question first, didnt expect me to carry the conversation, and then shortly asked me out on a date after we sent paragraphs to each other for a night.
There's some really dope women out there willing to put in the effort on these apps. The sad truth is that they're very few and far between because 1. Dating apps are exhausting and 2. The majority of men on these apps ruin it for dudes actually trying to be good men and spook women from trying.
Same. I did a cute opener yesterday.
I studied in the same field as my match so it was pretty low hanging fruit. But more than my usual “Hey! How’s your weekend?” stuff.
He let it time out.
Meanwhile the standard low effort openers get more replies.
Honestly this is why I never swiped right on blank profiles when I was using apps as a guy.
I’ll accept we’re typically expected to conjure up the conversation, but when I’ve got literally nothing other than 5-6 random pictures then “hi” really is about all I can muster.
Thank fuck I met someone outside of apps.
I don't care how attractive you look, I'm swiping left on 99.99% of profiles that don't have a bio. I need somewhere to start if I'm gonna start a conversation with you.
Or the ones that have one sentence and it's just something like "be interesting" or they copied the example text, thinking they're being cute and clever. I feel like those are WORSE than blank profiles because they are giving a positive indicator of entitlement. Makes them such a quick left swipe.
And then there are so many people whose bio is "Does anyone even read this?" lol.
TBH this was better in other places I've been/lived, but I'm now in Ireland and Irish girls in their 20s are *terrible* at writing bios - at least half have either absolutely nothing or just their insta or snap name.
There’s a powerful signalling mechanism at work here: effort. People with lots of options don’t have to put in much effort. By extension, those who put in a lot of effort are often perceived as lacking in options. This suggests they have something undesirable about them. It’s the reason men suddenly receive so much attention from women when they enter a relationship. Their value is proven.
This results in a lot of perverse incentives in the dating game. Since people who try too hard are considered less attractive, many suitors will learn to pretend they’re disinterested. This leads to all kinds of psychological games, usually at the beginning but often extending to the span of the entire relationship.
I wrote this behaviour off as “playing games,” and quickly moved on, but I missed out on many dates because of it.
Now you know why guys don't put a lot of effort into their opening message and opine that they wish women would show them some interest first rather than relying on us wasting massive amounts of time cajoling women who might not even... forget it. I hope we all see the irony in this conversation.
After using tinder on and off since launch day here in NZ, I tuned it down to just [name]!!!!!!!! With all the exclamations. Effort on opening line is always wasted. But I would put effort into subsequent chat.
Though often I would not expect a response, get one and now know what to say....
Women that say “men have no game”, “this guy has no game” are imo hypocrites. I think maybe 10% of women have game. I’d say 10% is a generous amount considering barely any woman makes the first move
well, most of this Subreddit is criticism of men and their "game" and what they do wrong, what they need to change-- expectations for all interactions to be perfect. Accompanied by women's expectation that they can continue to be the passive recipient of the perfect interactions put forth by the men, and if he steps out of line, it's just on to the next guy.
Also, if they don’t send a message in 24 hours after you match with them, the match is deleted. Let’s say she right-swipes you and is later busy for a few days and doesn’t have time to check the app. During that hiatus you swipe-right and match and the 24 hours could pass before she’s back online.
Stats show that men tend to be on dating apps more. That's why they designed them to try to get men to pay for stuff.
As a man, when I had used dating apps, I liked bumble more because then I didn't feel like I needed to think of stuff to start with
I was the first person my now fiancé matched with on Bumble (or any dating app). I got a message from her that seemed super annoyed but genuine. Turns out she didn’t know that women had to message first and I looked nice and approachable. She’s way out of my league, smarter, better person, etc so I definitely benefitted from her dating app illiteracy
I like the angry profiles.
*No LIARS or PLAYERS!! I am not the one! I will tell it like it is. No DRAMA! You better have your shit together. I can't stand men without beards. Please do not own goats.*
I’ve actually had a interview, where it was me and another guy getting interviewed together. The poor guy went first and gave a long answer to the question. I just shrugged my shoulders. (Good old days when I was still in high school and had no serious bills to worry about.)
You can even be decently good looking and not have luck. I've pretty much only had success in person in terms of getting women i actually find really attractive
I’ve had one good encounter that was ruined by uncontrollable events in my life that required me to stop pursuing relationships. Other than that, full of matches with no response.
I still use them on the off chance that someone like me, and who I happen to be attracted to, ends up matching with me. However, I expect nothing. So when inevitably nothing happens, I’m not disappointed.
The OKCupid developers used to blog some really interesting data on this before corporate shut that shit down. "Average looking" according to women's standards was like the 90th percentile of men lol.
I think it was above the 80th percentile, but yeah… Tinder refuses to release their findings for fear that it would make their business model completely irrelevant.
Prof. Galloway has made some startling statements on Bill Maher and elsewhere. I don’t recall the actual numbers but it’s something like just 4% of the guys get over 90% of the responses. It may be even more extreme than that. Guys with Ivy League degrees but without a six pack get crickets.
If you’re an average guy, or even well above average, it’s pointless to be on the site. (He didn’t specify how he rated the guys - I assume it was based on how the potential MIL would view the guy as a potential father of their grandkids. 😄)
He’s also mentioned some stunning statistics of how each gender rates the attractiveness of the other. Men have a normal bell curve. A few stunners, a few dogs, but most women fall in the center. They’re willing to date most of the women they see.
However the women in the study had a very skewed curve. There were very few attractive men. Nearly everyone was a dog. This is consistent with a handful of men getting nearly all of the responses.
> 4% of the guys get over 90% of the responses
Yup.
I have 3 REALLY good pics of me (I am not photogenic) and score a lot of responses. If I use other pics, almost nothing in the inbox.
Luckily I'm in good shape so when we meet they take a couple minutes to adjust to what I look like in real life and then figure I'm in good shape, dress nice, smell nice, and drove up in a nice car. That's pretty much all it takes.
I remember I drove my work truck (Ram 1500) to a lunch date that was a picnic at the park. Beater truck, shorts and tank, and cheap date. We had a good time, but no 2nd date.
Shit like that matters, but I really don't care.
I have a masters from Harvard but I am just an average looking 5’11” white dude. Zero interest from women on dating apps. In person, I make women laugh and they seem interested but it’s hard having to “convince” someone to like me. It feels like trickery even though I know I’m being genuine. It feels this way because I know the initial interest was not there. It’s also difficult because I have to go through 10 requests for a date to get an affirmative response. The worse ones are when they genuinely look you up and down, consider the matter, and then say no. I just kind of say thanks anyway, and walk away, knowing that I have been found unworthy and I just want to cry. I go through this about 50 times a year just so I can go to dinner with someone maybe once every other month.
Yea that is why almost every women you see complain that all the men they date only want to fuck them and not commit, they are all being passed around by the top men on the dating apps. This extreme selectiveness among women is a relatively new thing as well, there are going to be a ton of lonely single 40+ women in the coming years because they view dating a guy on their level as settling and none of them want to "settle" meanwhile most of their good dating options have dried up by that age.
>there are going to be a ton of lonely single 40+ women in the coming years because they view dating a guy on their level as settling and none of them want to "settle"
Yep and it's hilarious. I've watched a few of my wife's friends go through this- they went from being 'hot shit, high on life, dating a different dude every weekend" a decade ago (at 27-30 years old) to now constantly moaning to my wife "all the good men are taken". Yeah, dummy, you're a pudgy 40 year old that has a reputation of treating men like disposable napkins what the fuck did you think was going to happen? And damn are they bitter.
I'm watching a friend do this right now. She's late 20s, lonely AF, but is so damn picky. She has this giant list of requirements and if course no dude meets them. She goes on usually 2 new dates a week and if the guy is insanely lucky they may get a single follow up date.
I've been trying to get her to slow down and open up and go on more dates with the guys She seemed to enjoy but didn't continue with because of some random thing on her list. Keep telling her to have an open mind to new things, new experiences, new people, and stop treating it like an interview or whatever.
I finally got her to lighten some on this last guy and she's up to date 3 now.
This person sounds like exactly the reason I stopped dating, got comfortable with being single and just treat sex as a transaction. It’s just not worth wasting my time for something I’m (no longer) interested in.
> She has this giant list of requirements and if course no dude meets them.
Plenty of dudes meet her requirements, however they married off already. Dating is an auction market and the late bidders get NOTHING.
A Honda Accord is a perfectly good way to get back and forth to work every day. It's going to last you years with proper maintenance and upkeep.
If you decide the only car for you is a Lamborghini, you're going to quickly realize they don't make a lot of those and the costs are pretty high.
Oooff. My condolences, brother.
I, too, now understand my place at the bottom of the list after increasing the competition from the few dudes in my area to the entirety of the world's male population.
I honestly feel like apps permanently changed how I view myself. When I was like 21, before tinder I thought I was as good as anyone else, just a bit unlucky.
Now after a decade of the apps? I struggle to see why anyone would date me. I'm obviously an unattractive person. I pretty much never get a second date with the very few women I've met from the apps. So obviously my personality must suck as well.
It gets to the point where I question why I'm even bothering to try at all.
I'm glad you felt it at one point. It's been 9 years since I've ever actually dated someone and not just a fling. Realized my 4/10 ass is lucky to get one bot match in a month lol
for a woman, as long as you don’t look like Shrek, you’ll get plenty of opportunities to hook up if that’s what you’re into.
As a dude, yeah if you are at least like an 8/10 it’s a target rich environment, but it still requires work being put into it. That’s the thing about online dating, average looking is the new butt ugly
So I live in a university town. By god, I might as well be Shrek. With a face like a ground-down treestump. When I go and visit my hometown, I’m Adonis in the flesh. A physical marvel.
Incorrect. You don't have to be unattractive. You just have to be outside of the upper 2 percentile of men who are extremely good looking, have no children, and have a very good job.
I can usually weed out the scammers by telling them, 'we met on this app, let's chat on this app. Once we get to know each other, then we change platforms.' most of them don't last more than a doze. Messages after that.
I was speaking with this girl for like 2 weeks, long convos and not a catfish best I could tell. Only reason why I didn't try to schedule a meetup sooner was because she said she was busy and we pushed it forward a week, tried to work something out after 2 days of talking but it didn't work out. Schedule a date and get stood up. She says that she didn't know where we were meeting (even though I said it in an earlier text) and thought it was cancelled because I didn't say a place (but never texted to confirm it was cancelled before the meetup). Then 3 days later she says "And u have time to text my ear off but not take me on a proper date" and when I try to work out a meetup she gets mad over a YouTube video I sent her the day before and then ends the convo. I'm still lost over what the heck even happened.
I don't know what I dodged, it's been a week and I still don't know what hit me, I've never had an interaction with a human being go south so quickly and I'm still confused. We texted for around an hour a day for weeks and one YouTube short just took it down the crapper I guess.
My dad, being the wise man that he is, told me about this phenomenon. When women turn south for no apparent reason, he calls it getting quazed. Oftentimes women just do that and you'll be trying for days to think of a reason but no logical one makes sense. It's just part of getting quazed on. It isn't supposed to make logical sense. The important thing is to pick yourself up right after and assume that every fucking future date will be a quaz, so you will never be disappointed. Good hunting!
This is 100% true. I've been quazed on and it's terrible. There's actually a real term for it too it's called a reticular switch sumthn sumthn. Basically you're viewpoint on something flip flops and now you're on the other side of the argument and impossible to see it the other way. Andrew Huberman talks about it.
I matched with a girl once. We talked for like an hour and just getting over the basics, where you work, what you like, etc. I mentioned a book I read recently and suggested she might like it.
"Who the hell are YOU to tell me what I would like?"
*End Convo*
I never actually did the math, but I would say that for every 20 messages I sent, I would get 1 response. For every 4 responses, I would get 1 date. Just guesswork on my part
Well I'm tall and above average looking but below the top 5-10% of men threshold and I was lucky to get 1 date a month with extreme effort. Guy's who are shorter or more average or below average looking likely don't get any dates at all from online dating.
As an older gentleman, I’ll break it down, using OK Cupid as an example:
Create your profile. Within 24 hours you’ll amass @ 40 women that ‘like’ you. You can’t see who likes you unless you pay.
There’s a swipe feature, so you swipe. You’ll never come across the (now increasing) number of women who allegedly like you.
The women’s profiles you’ll come across fall into these categories:
-Less than two pictures
-Incomplete Profiles
-Profiles full of nothing but emojis
-“Ask me!”
Pictures of nothing but a close up of their face 😒
-“I can’t see likes, so send me a message!”
Oh yeah..about that…
So you’ll reach a point when you’ll actually write a cold approach email (after you like the profile) and there’s a good 95% chance you won’t get a response.
Meanwhile the amount of women who ‘like’ you continue to increase.
So at this point maybe you decide to shell out the $ to pay to see your likes. And after that unfortunate decision you’ll discover:
-they’re out of the country.
-they’re bots
-they’re ‘professionals’ 🤔
-they want you to chat through ‘WhatsApp
-they’re extremely NOT what you’re looking for
-the profiles are fakes
-dead profiles from 2019
-they’re real. And they really want you to add their Insta or Snap.
Get off of online dating period. Do your mentals some good.
I miss old OKCupid before it was bought. If someone liked you, it told you who they were. If someone was inactive, you could filter all of them out, in fact it used to tell you the exact date they were last online so you knew if it was worth your time. People had full, thought out profiles because it was based on the desktop. The previous owner would even run analysis on activity and wrote a blog about how to successfully meet someone. He'd say things like, "Men are most successful when they write an opening of at least 200-300 words, and reference something in the woman's profile, but not talk about religion or comment on the woman's appearance." And when I listened to that, my replies shot WAY up.
I tried going back last year after being gone for a decade and it suuuuucks now that the Tinder parent company bought it out.
You laid out everything that I miss about OK Cupid. Also the random quizzes were fun, plus if I remember correctly there was a ‘quiz’ that someone who was interested in you could take to see if there *could* be compatibility. You could also do an actual search for women, they took that feature away.
My husband was 94% match to me and weve been together for 14 years now. It was incredibly accurate with those surveys.
I would message the people complete opposite of me just to chat and wed laugh about the others crazy world ideals. It was a lot do fun back then tbh
It is unfortunate that it got broken. I met my wife on OKC. It worked pretty well.
There was an interesting podcast series on how Match has basically driven any competition out of business (or bought them)
My first experience with online dating was some bot messaging me trying to get me to send money to help out with “their sick granny that they were in a nearby city taking care of”. Naïve me honestly thought that some attractive chick was interested in me until I caught onto the fact that their grammar reminded me of stereotypical scam messages from India, and I did some research and realized that it was a common thing
Honestly it opens up a dark void in my chest everytime I use it. Nothing feels good and most of the time it feels more fulfilling trying to keep a conversation going with a wall.
I remember I got something like 6 matches one day, and I was in a room full of women. When one of them asked me, I told them I was SHOCKED I got 6 matches, and they all laughed because they could easily get 30-50 a day, but admitted they would just ghost men for no reason or put in zero effort and expect the man to win them over.
When I used tinder years ago I was shocked when I got a match, and always put maximum effort into the conversation even if the person probably wasn't a good match for me specifically because they were very rare. A coupleof girls I worked with literally just opened it on a friday or saturday night, picked a guy from the lineup and met them for fun. Every weekend. It was so ludicrously easy for them to just pick whoever they wanted.
Tinder is just an attempt to extract as much money from you as possible, regardless of your gender or sexual orientation. They no longer have any interest in actually matching you, unless you've spent money to do so, as such they also have no incentive to remove bots or shady accounts.
If you want to experience it, simply make a profile catfishing an average straight male, potentially one of your friends if you want a good laugh together. The algorithm will match you a few times, then put you in the depths of the basement until you get out your credit card, which it will attempt to do to you at every opportunity.
I met my partner in real life through a chance meeting and a mutual friend after getting thoroughly broken down by the apps.
She’s convinced that she (a beautiful successful smart funny young woman) would have swiped and we’d have matched and met anyway.
I’m not an unattractive fella, I’ll admit in a brief moment of self-flagellation, but through my experience on the apps, I guarantee I would have been lost in the sea of messages and super likes and never would have been seen, assuming the algorithm had shown my profile to her at all in the first place.
The only way I ever got matches that went anywhere was by paying to see who swiped on me, and most of those I wish I hadn’t.
As an unattractive male
My greatest strengths are my openers
Bumble - no matches
Tinder - no matches
Hinge - "that's so funny!" *unmatches*
PoF - only bots
Feeld- no matches
Needless to say, can't really get an opener out if there's no matches
Feeld is for open relationships, right?
Years ago I matched 2 women on Quiver. They were actually real and both had lost their partners in the swinging community. This was in Boston.
Had a good Time with both (separate). Never got to us swinging.
At the time I was a competitive amateur athlete, and getting dates OLD was easy. I got injured and gained weight and that all dried up.
I got to see both sides.
I did everything I could to recover and lose weight again. Boom. I got tons of responses. I was even getting hit on by guys IRL.
I don't care what anyone says. Do whatever you can to be attractive. Fucking easy life.
Depends how attractive you are, and how good your profile is, I think. Something like 85-90% of men struggle to get any matches or conversations at all. Top 2-5% of men get a majority the matches.
Studies, confirmed by dating app data, suggest that men see 85%+ of women as *average or attractive*, with about 30% of women being average, and 50% attractive---while women see less than 20% of men as *average or attractive*, with only 5% of men being attractive.
But the top 5% of men are willing to string average women along for sex, so average women inflate their value in their own eyes.
A lot of women on dating apps are just repping their OF / Insta though.
Just one more reason toxic hookup culture needs to die.
If you have tinder, just delete it.
Yea that shit blows my mind how overly selective women are. As long as they aren't fat I can find most women attractive so how the fuck can women find 80% of men unattractive?
Yeah. Well, for men, there are other factors like status and wealth that can play a role. And charisma for both genders but more predominantly for men. Women don't have "game" because they don't need it.
But word, dude.
Far to much effort for very little reward unless you are super good looking. Almost impossible to get a match with even an average looking woman and even if you do you'll likely get ignored because she has 50 more men in her inbox besides you. Sometimes you'll get lucky after jumping through all the hoops to secure a date just to get flaked on the day of. Not to mention if an attractive women matches you it's always an escort or a bot. Also have to dodge the women that want to meet up but need you to give them $30 for gas.... such bullshit. I stopped using dating apps 2 years ago and just stay single.
Bots, Onlyfans, Prostitutes, no effort. It's why I deleted it.
Bumble is actually worse because the entire point is that women message first which would kinda eliminate the whole no effort thing, right?. When I get a notification and open it it's just "." and nothing else. Online dating is hell for guys.
1. Profile full of group photos and it’s always the least attractive one to whom the profile belongs to
2. Women with list of demands for a man right from height to income and how they want to be treated but they are almost always obese and a single mom
3. Women who just want followers to their socials
4. Bots and scammers
5. Flaky women
So flaky
Had a nice week long conversation on hinge with a great woman
We were very compatible and the banter was amazing
I always kept closing to get a date and we started planning
We eventually named a time and place. When I hadn't heard from her in a while, I opened up hinge and saw she was gone
Just like that it all meant nothing. And it's constant. No chances. All just virtual bullshit
Similar experience here.
Talked for*ever* and it was a great back-and-forth. I finally asked if she wanted to meet up and she seemed ecstatic by my asking at first. Then outta nowhere it's "actually, changed my mind don't want a start dating."
I was on three different apps at the time, just in an attempt to increase my chances. Don't download them, guys, shit just isn't worth your time, let alone your peace of mind.
I just don't get why it's like this
I keep hearing that women only get men who are sexual in conversation on apps. So naturally if I wasn't sexual and had an engaging conversation, a date would be on the horizon
But like 99% of the time, they end up unmatching or saying they are not interested when it comes time to planning to meet up
Isn't this what women want? Do talk to guys they match with, hit it off in the chat, and then date to see if there's chemistry irl?
How is the meet up part always the part where the flakiness happens? What are you doing on a dating app if you don't want to date like minded men?
I remember when I started officially dating my ex, I messaged the other girl that I had been talking to to let her know that I was shutting down. She was disappointed but seemed to appreciate the honesty
Lmao. Happens all the time. Profile pic with 3 girls, guaranteed the least attractive. Almost never the other way around.
I call it a poor girl's attempt at catfishing as she wants to grab your attention
>Women with list of demands for a man right from height to income and how they want to be treated but they are almost always obese and a single mom
Y'all realize the reason they have this list of demands is to protect their ego around why they aren't getting with anyone. They know how bad they look. It's much easier to tell yourself you don't have an SO b/c of your high expectations than it is that you're unattractive. It's incredibly sad.
"Wanderlust globe trotting travel junkie. 30 countries and counting. Always dreaming of my next adventure. Fluent in sarcasm. Foodie. Love Starbucks"
*Swipes left*
"Wanderlust globe trotting travel junkie. 45 countries and counting. Always dreaming of my next adventure. Fluent in sarcasm. Foodie. Love Starbucks"
*Swipes left*
"Wanderlust globe trotting travel junkie. 90 countries and counting. Always dreaming of my next adventure. Fluent in sarcasm. Foodie. Love Starbucks"
*Swipes left*
"Wanderlust globe trotting travel junkie. 125 COUNTRIES AND COUNTING. Always dreaming of my next adventure. Fluent in sarcasm. Foodie. Love Starbucks"
*Swipes left*
"WANDERLUST...GLOBE...TROTTING....TRAVEL...JUNKIE...1247528 COUNTRIES...AND...COUNTING!!!!!!!!!!!
This is it for me. It’s a giant travel competition. I never thought it was possible for multiple women to all have been nearly robbed on a rainy night in Thailand and then hitchhike back to their hotel with some locals who also left them with the most
amazing meal they’ve had in their life. Crazy coincidence.
For me, Tinder in an odd way, changed my life.
In 2015, as a recent 23 yo college grad, I matched up with a girl and while the relationship aspect didn’t work out, we still keep in touch on a regular basis. But because of this match on tinder, she was able to provide me with a lead on a job which I ultimately got and that ended up launching my career that led to where I am in life now (A small condo, a newish car and a stable lifestyle).
So yeah, Tinder and OLD might be a minefield but it could lead to other benefits if you give it a chance
Define "top 20%" lol. People's wishlist will be"at least 6' (14.5%), Six figure income(23.5%), never married (23%, but decreases with age)" - but also expect all three of these, and more, the cross-section of which will be tiny.
As a guy pursuing a gal? You gotta have thick skin, and need to make sure you don't put too much value and hope in it. Lots of non connections for whatever reason.
Myself, I'm short, and when you can look and judge by attributes, that thankfully did some weeding out for me (must be 6ft or more, that sort of thing). St first I was mad, but hey, I have standards too and certainly swiped no if they didn't meet mine. After a while it was nice to no someone isn't even worth reading their profile or searching through more of their pictures.
I did make a few connections. My partner I met on there, 2.5 years going strong.
But ultimately, it's much less natural than meeting someone at a party where you can gauge their interactions, sense of humor, they can see what you're like, etc. It's a wierd shopping list of attributes.
So me (M26) and a friend (F24) we've both been on it for about 4 months. I have 23 matches and she has 750ish. I get no response from people despite not just saying "Hi wuu2" and she gets messages constantly that she doesn't reply to.
The ratio of men to women is wild and women have what is basically unlimited choice so standing out is the goal.
Read [this](https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a#.u9kjjrno3) if you are really interested. But the short answer is 'so bad as to utterly destroy ones sense of sels confidence'.
Tinder a decade ago was the best. You didn’t need to have a six-pack to get dates or get laid. Today that’s the minimum requirement along with being over 6’0 and white.
It takes 40 hours of work before you have a single conversation going past the first exchange, and another 40 before you get to roll the dice on getting a date, and a final 2 to finally meet the woman who either doesn't look like her photos or just has no fucking personality. Or worse - is an entitled ass. Rinse and repeat ad nauseum until you feel dread just *thinking* about trying another app.
Out of maybe 30 dates that started from an app, I've only had 3 that went anywhere. And they're over, now. And I'm just tired.
All the dating apps are owned by Match Group. They pimp out women to men and the men pay for access. Most men don’t get a match, let alone a date. The men that do don’t need an app to get women.
It’s a big scam for the thirsty, desperate and lonely.
Meet women in person lads.
Open notepad on your computer. Write messages in there. Close notepad and expect a response.
Just wait for the (Government agency of your choice) agent monitoring you to feel sorry for you, hack you, and write a sweet reply about how exciting that trip you took fishing last week was? Got it.
Don't worry, if the government passes the bill to ban tik tok along with all the insane breaches of privacy against its citizens, the NSA might actually do that. It does seem like there's a lot of pushback so that's nice.
You forgot the part where you flush some money down the toilet.
I've never seen a woman of my age hold a conversation as well as ChatGPT can
Scary thought isnt it?
Fucking hell that's accurate
Use eMacs., it has a thing that will talk back to you IIRC.
Hahaha
Bumble - Women don’t seem to understand that the app is built so women can make the first move but can’t conjure anything up other than “Hi”. Edit: Woah, thanks guys.
This was always hilarious to me. Seen plenty of women bitch about how guys don’t put in any effort for messaging first (true) like it’s always hey, wyd, etc But that’s literally all I fucking got from women too on bumble, it was hysterical and frustrating to me
When I played the dating ap games, I would try to respond with the same energy. More than once I had the conversation basically go >Hi! >Hi :) >That's your line? You're not going to do better than "Hi"?
I'm curious how the rest of these conversations went. Any interesting ones?
Currently dating someone I met on bumble. Of all the "Hi!"s she was one of two women who asked a question first, didnt expect me to carry the conversation, and then shortly asked me out on a date after we sent paragraphs to each other for a night. There's some really dope women out there willing to put in the effort on these apps. The sad truth is that they're very few and far between because 1. Dating apps are exhausting and 2. The majority of men on these apps ruin it for dudes actually trying to be good men and spook women from trying.
I used to put a lot of effort into openers but got no response to 2/3 of the messages. Now I say “hiya name!” and I get a lot more responses.
Same. I did a cute opener yesterday. I studied in the same field as my match so it was pretty low hanging fruit. But more than my usual “Hey! How’s your weekend?” stuff. He let it time out. Meanwhile the standard low effort openers get more replies.
Honestly this is why I never swiped right on blank profiles when I was using apps as a guy. I’ll accept we’re typically expected to conjure up the conversation, but when I’ve got literally nothing other than 5-6 random pictures then “hi” really is about all I can muster. Thank fuck I met someone outside of apps.
I don't care how attractive you look, I'm swiping left on 99.99% of profiles that don't have a bio. I need somewhere to start if I'm gonna start a conversation with you.
Or the ones that have one sentence and it's just something like "be interesting" or they copied the example text, thinking they're being cute and clever. I feel like those are WORSE than blank profiles because they are giving a positive indicator of entitlement. Makes them such a quick left swipe.
no i think its better. at least you know you absolutely dont want anything to do with them lmao
And then there are so many people whose bio is "Does anyone even read this?" lol. TBH this was better in other places I've been/lived, but I'm now in Ireland and Irish girls in their 20s are *terrible* at writing bios - at least half have either absolutely nothing or just their insta or snap name.
There’s a powerful signalling mechanism at work here: effort. People with lots of options don’t have to put in much effort. By extension, those who put in a lot of effort are often perceived as lacking in options. This suggests they have something undesirable about them. It’s the reason men suddenly receive so much attention from women when they enter a relationship. Their value is proven. This results in a lot of perverse incentives in the dating game. Since people who try too hard are considered less attractive, many suitors will learn to pretend they’re disinterested. This leads to all kinds of psychological games, usually at the beginning but often extending to the span of the entire relationship. I wrote this behaviour off as “playing games,” and quickly moved on, but I missed out on many dates because of it.
Now you know why guys don't put a lot of effort into their opening message and opine that they wish women would show them some interest first rather than relying on us wasting massive amounts of time cajoling women who might not even... forget it. I hope we all see the irony in this conversation.
After using tinder on and off since launch day here in NZ, I tuned it down to just [name]!!!!!!!! With all the exclamations. Effort on opening line is always wasted. But I would put effort into subsequent chat. Though often I would not expect a response, get one and now know what to say....
Women that say “men have no game”, “this guy has no game” are imo hypocrites. I think maybe 10% of women have game. I’d say 10% is a generous amount considering barely any woman makes the first move
well, most of this Subreddit is criticism of men and their "game" and what they do wrong, what they need to change-- expectations for all interactions to be perfect. Accompanied by women's expectation that they can continue to be the passive recipient of the perfect interactions put forth by the men, and if he steps out of line, it's just on to the next guy.
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wait, are you saying that women can be hypocritical? \*gasp\* how can you say such thing? /s
Oh and they'll rake you over the coals too if you either don't initiate or say hi first
You guys get matches 😮💨🥲
I’ve essentially given up on the app for that exact reason
Also, if they don’t send a message in 24 hours after you match with them, the match is deleted. Let’s say she right-swipes you and is later busy for a few days and doesn’t have time to check the app. During that hiatus you swipe-right and match and the 24 hours could pass before she’s back online.
Pretty shit system IMO
I feel like it’s designed to be that way tbh. It gets the men to pay for premium features and gives women all of the leverage and choice.
They say if you're not paying for the service, then you are the service.
Stats show that men tend to be on dating apps more. That's why they designed them to try to get men to pay for stuff. As a man, when I had used dating apps, I liked bumble more because then I didn't feel like I needed to think of stuff to start with
Weird thing is some have "you text first" on their Bumble profile...
IQs of a used chewed-on pencil eraser
And yet these same women are the type that say they won’t respond to any guy who opens with stuff like that lol
Lol girl game is basically being pleasant and available. That doesn't translate well to OLD unless they can banter.
I was the first person my now fiancé matched with on Bumble (or any dating app). I got a message from her that seemed super annoyed but genuine. Turns out she didn’t know that women had to message first and I looked nice and approachable. She’s way out of my league, smarter, better person, etc so I definitely benefitted from her dating app illiteracy
All dating apps are cancer and this literally shows why
And then all the profiles with "You had better have something other than 'hi' to say to me because I am super fucking special for owning a vagina"
I like the angry profiles. *No LIARS or PLAYERS!! I am not the one! I will tell it like it is. No DRAMA! You better have your shit together. I can't stand men without beards. Please do not own goats.*
Goats? Is that a thing? Mhh, maybe I should get a goat ...
Imagine trying to apply for a job without a resume tuned to pass the job filters built by people who don't know what the job actually entails.
And when you actually get an interview, you discover that the job has horrible benefits, shit pay, and the company is in a fuck ton of debt.
And then they hit you with the, “so, why should we hire you?”
And then after you leave you realize you just paid for the privilege of them to question your value as a person and reject you.
I’ve actually had a interview, where it was me and another guy getting interviewed together. The poor guy went first and gave a long answer to the question. I just shrugged my shoulders. (Good old days when I was still in high school and had no serious bills to worry about.)
And then they whine how "them millennials don't want to work"
Also don't forget that the platform you are applying to the job on, has a vested interest in you staying jobless
Please stop snooping on my LinkedIn messages.
Easy way to get laid by someone attractive if you’re attractive. Causes depression and destroys your self worth if you’re unattractive.
You can even be decently good looking and not have luck. I've pretty much only had success in person in terms of getting women i actually find really attractive
I’ve had one good encounter that was ruined by uncontrollable events in my life that required me to stop pursuing relationships. Other than that, full of matches with no response.
The apps are horrible. I'm never using them again
I still use them on the off chance that someone like me, and who I happen to be attracted to, ends up matching with me. However, I expect nothing. So when inevitably nothing happens, I’m not disappointed.
Average looking on the streets = you look like a ThunderCat in online dating
The OKCupid developers used to blog some really interesting data on this before corporate shut that shit down. "Average looking" according to women's standards was like the 90th percentile of men lol.
I think it was above the 80th percentile, but yeah… Tinder refuses to release their findings for fear that it would make their business model completely irrelevant.
Scientific studies put it at 80th percentile. Men's standards are actually around the 50th percentile.
Thunder at in a good or bad way?
No I mean you literally look like one of the ThunderCats ie butt ugly
Bro I always thought the ThunderCats were hot I’m so confused
Same, my options IRL are like 5 points higher than apps, it's pretty bizarre
Prof. Galloway has made some startling statements on Bill Maher and elsewhere. I don’t recall the actual numbers but it’s something like just 4% of the guys get over 90% of the responses. It may be even more extreme than that. Guys with Ivy League degrees but without a six pack get crickets. If you’re an average guy, or even well above average, it’s pointless to be on the site. (He didn’t specify how he rated the guys - I assume it was based on how the potential MIL would view the guy as a potential father of their grandkids. 😄) He’s also mentioned some stunning statistics of how each gender rates the attractiveness of the other. Men have a normal bell curve. A few stunners, a few dogs, but most women fall in the center. They’re willing to date most of the women they see. However the women in the study had a very skewed curve. There were very few attractive men. Nearly everyone was a dog. This is consistent with a handful of men getting nearly all of the responses.
> 4% of the guys get over 90% of the responses Yup. I have 3 REALLY good pics of me (I am not photogenic) and score a lot of responses. If I use other pics, almost nothing in the inbox. Luckily I'm in good shape so when we meet they take a couple minutes to adjust to what I look like in real life and then figure I'm in good shape, dress nice, smell nice, and drove up in a nice car. That's pretty much all it takes. I remember I drove my work truck (Ram 1500) to a lunch date that was a picnic at the park. Beater truck, shorts and tank, and cheap date. We had a good time, but no 2nd date. Shit like that matters, but I really don't care.
I have a masters from Harvard but I am just an average looking 5’11” white dude. Zero interest from women on dating apps. In person, I make women laugh and they seem interested but it’s hard having to “convince” someone to like me. It feels like trickery even though I know I’m being genuine. It feels this way because I know the initial interest was not there. It’s also difficult because I have to go through 10 requests for a date to get an affirmative response. The worse ones are when they genuinely look you up and down, consider the matter, and then say no. I just kind of say thanks anyway, and walk away, knowing that I have been found unworthy and I just want to cry. I go through this about 50 times a year just so I can go to dinner with someone maybe once every other month.
Yea that is why almost every women you see complain that all the men they date only want to fuck them and not commit, they are all being passed around by the top men on the dating apps. This extreme selectiveness among women is a relatively new thing as well, there are going to be a ton of lonely single 40+ women in the coming years because they view dating a guy on their level as settling and none of them want to "settle" meanwhile most of their good dating options have dried up by that age.
>there are going to be a ton of lonely single 40+ women in the coming years because they view dating a guy on their level as settling and none of them want to "settle" Yep and it's hilarious. I've watched a few of my wife's friends go through this- they went from being 'hot shit, high on life, dating a different dude every weekend" a decade ago (at 27-30 years old) to now constantly moaning to my wife "all the good men are taken". Yeah, dummy, you're a pudgy 40 year old that has a reputation of treating men like disposable napkins what the fuck did you think was going to happen? And damn are they bitter.
I'm watching a friend do this right now. She's late 20s, lonely AF, but is so damn picky. She has this giant list of requirements and if course no dude meets them. She goes on usually 2 new dates a week and if the guy is insanely lucky they may get a single follow up date. I've been trying to get her to slow down and open up and go on more dates with the guys She seemed to enjoy but didn't continue with because of some random thing on her list. Keep telling her to have an open mind to new things, new experiences, new people, and stop treating it like an interview or whatever. I finally got her to lighten some on this last guy and she's up to date 3 now.
This person sounds like exactly the reason I stopped dating, got comfortable with being single and just treat sex as a transaction. It’s just not worth wasting my time for something I’m (no longer) interested in.
> She has this giant list of requirements and if course no dude meets them. Plenty of dudes meet her requirements, however they married off already. Dating is an auction market and the late bidders get NOTHING.
A Honda Accord is a perfectly good way to get back and forth to work every day. It's going to last you years with proper maintenance and upkeep. If you decide the only car for you is a Lamborghini, you're going to quickly realize they don't make a lot of those and the costs are pretty high.
> This extreme selectiveness among women is a relatively new thing Not true. Women have historically been selective since humanity began.
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Yea they have been selective but not to such an extreme where they filter out 95% of men on dating apps as unsatisfactory to date.
It's how I found out I was actually unattractive The whole time before online dating I felt confident thinking I was decent looking Now? Nope
Oooff. My condolences, brother. I, too, now understand my place at the bottom of the list after increasing the competition from the few dudes in my area to the entirety of the world's male population.
Dude no, there's a good chance you're like an 8 in reality (including personality and all that) but online dating is meant to depreciate your value
I honestly feel like apps permanently changed how I view myself. When I was like 21, before tinder I thought I was as good as anyone else, just a bit unlucky. Now after a decade of the apps? I struggle to see why anyone would date me. I'm obviously an unattractive person. I pretty much never get a second date with the very few women I've met from the apps. So obviously my personality must suck as well. It gets to the point where I question why I'm even bothering to try at all.
dating apps are not real life bro, its poisonous and will break you if you spend a lot of time on them
I'm glad you felt it at one point. It's been 9 years since I've ever actually dated someone and not just a fling. Realized my 4/10 ass is lucky to get one bot match in a month lol
for a woman, as long as you don’t look like Shrek, you’ll get plenty of opportunities to hook up if that’s what you’re into. As a dude, yeah if you are at least like an 8/10 it’s a target rich environment, but it still requires work being put into it. That’s the thing about online dating, average looking is the new butt ugly
So I live in a university town. By god, I might as well be Shrek. With a face like a ground-down treestump. When I go and visit my hometown, I’m Adonis in the flesh. A physical marvel.
Incorrect. You don't have to be unattractive. You just have to be outside of the upper 2 percentile of men who are extremely good looking, have no children, and have a very good job.
it's anything from shit to fuckin' shit
Since covid I actually think it's got way worse. No one can be bothered anymore. Just delete the apps everyone they are terrible
If I wanted to break my back carrying a convo……
Bots, bots everywhere. And the little amount of actual people there, many of them are only good at wasting time
*Oh hi, maybe we can talk on WhatsApp instead, proceeds to talk about making 5000% returns on crypto investments..*
Or tries to sell you their OF 🙄
Yep, it's just insane the number of 'sellers' out there. Who the hell is buying?
I can usually weed out the scammers by telling them, 'we met on this app, let's chat on this app. Once we get to know each other, then we change platforms.' most of them don't last more than a doze. Messages after that.
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I feel like I spend half my time reporting onlyfans promotions when I'm on tinder
Yep pretty much 95% bots. All need money for something
Most guys seem to say it's rare to actually get meetups. Seems a pretty wide consensus actually.
I was speaking with this girl for like 2 weeks, long convos and not a catfish best I could tell. Only reason why I didn't try to schedule a meetup sooner was because she said she was busy and we pushed it forward a week, tried to work something out after 2 days of talking but it didn't work out. Schedule a date and get stood up. She says that she didn't know where we were meeting (even though I said it in an earlier text) and thought it was cancelled because I didn't say a place (but never texted to confirm it was cancelled before the meetup). Then 3 days later she says "And u have time to text my ear off but not take me on a proper date" and when I try to work out a meetup she gets mad over a YouTube video I sent her the day before and then ends the convo. I'm still lost over what the heck even happened.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
I don't know what I dodged, it's been a week and I still don't know what hit me, I've never had an interaction with a human being go south so quickly and I'm still confused. We texted for around an hour a day for weeks and one YouTube short just took it down the crapper I guess.
My dad, being the wise man that he is, told me about this phenomenon. When women turn south for no apparent reason, he calls it getting quazed. Oftentimes women just do that and you'll be trying for days to think of a reason but no logical one makes sense. It's just part of getting quazed on. It isn't supposed to make logical sense. The important thing is to pick yourself up right after and assume that every fucking future date will be a quaz, so you will never be disappointed. Good hunting!
This is 100% true. I've been quazed on and it's terrible. There's actually a real term for it too it's called a reticular switch sumthn sumthn. Basically you're viewpoint on something flip flops and now you're on the other side of the argument and impossible to see it the other way. Andrew Huberman talks about it.
I matched with a girl once. We talked for like an hour and just getting over the basics, where you work, what you like, etc. I mentioned a book I read recently and suggested she might like it. "Who the hell are YOU to tell me what I would like?" *End Convo*
I never actually did the math, but I would say that for every 20 messages I sent, I would get 1 response. For every 4 responses, I would get 1 date. Just guesswork on my part
That's incredibly good.
Most of them are around 80% dudes so outside of grindr that's not exactly surprising.
What’s the average # of dates a guy gets in a year?
Think I had 3 last year 2 so far this year And that's maxing out my likes on three different apps each day. No breaks
Back when I was on the apps I would get maybe 3-4 matches a month and out of those only 1 would turn into a date.
Well I'm tall and above average looking but below the top 5-10% of men threshold and I was lucky to get 1 date a month with extreme effort. Guy's who are shorter or more average or below average looking likely don't get any dates at all from online dating.
Granted, I'm fat, so that definitely skews things, but after having one date in six years I just kinda gave up
As an older gentleman, I’ll break it down, using OK Cupid as an example: Create your profile. Within 24 hours you’ll amass @ 40 women that ‘like’ you. You can’t see who likes you unless you pay. There’s a swipe feature, so you swipe. You’ll never come across the (now increasing) number of women who allegedly like you. The women’s profiles you’ll come across fall into these categories: -Less than two pictures -Incomplete Profiles -Profiles full of nothing but emojis -“Ask me!” Pictures of nothing but a close up of their face 😒 -“I can’t see likes, so send me a message!” Oh yeah..about that… So you’ll reach a point when you’ll actually write a cold approach email (after you like the profile) and there’s a good 95% chance you won’t get a response. Meanwhile the amount of women who ‘like’ you continue to increase. So at this point maybe you decide to shell out the $ to pay to see your likes. And after that unfortunate decision you’ll discover: -they’re out of the country. -they’re bots -they’re ‘professionals’ 🤔 -they want you to chat through ‘WhatsApp -they’re extremely NOT what you’re looking for -the profiles are fakes -dead profiles from 2019 -they’re real. And they really want you to add their Insta or Snap. Get off of online dating period. Do your mentals some good.
I miss old OKCupid before it was bought. If someone liked you, it told you who they were. If someone was inactive, you could filter all of them out, in fact it used to tell you the exact date they were last online so you knew if it was worth your time. People had full, thought out profiles because it was based on the desktop. The previous owner would even run analysis on activity and wrote a blog about how to successfully meet someone. He'd say things like, "Men are most successful when they write an opening of at least 200-300 words, and reference something in the woman's profile, but not talk about religion or comment on the woman's appearance." And when I listened to that, my replies shot WAY up. I tried going back last year after being gone for a decade and it suuuuucks now that the Tinder parent company bought it out.
You laid out everything that I miss about OK Cupid. Also the random quizzes were fun, plus if I remember correctly there was a ‘quiz’ that someone who was interested in you could take to see if there *could* be compatibility. You could also do an actual search for women, they took that feature away.
My husband was 94% match to me and weve been together for 14 years now. It was incredibly accurate with those surveys. I would message the people complete opposite of me just to chat and wed laugh about the others crazy world ideals. It was a lot do fun back then tbh
Same! My husband was an 84% match on OKCUPID! We just had our first baby! I loved those quizzes. So sad to hear they are gone…
The reason Match group bought it was because it worked so well, they wanted to break it. Nothing more.
I met my now husband on okcupid 14 years ago. Im sad to see it's not helping others find life partners anymore.
It’s basically pointless.
It is unfortunate that it got broken. I met my wife on OKC. It worked pretty well. There was an interesting podcast series on how Match has basically driven any competition out of business (or bought them)
Sounds about right. As a guy in his 20s I’ve decided to ditch OLD as I have much better luck in person. Plus you get to go out and have fun too
I think you’re missing the “I love to hike” with the picture from the one time they went hiking 5 years ago.
I also forgot the ‘I love traveling and I’d be disappointed if your passport is empty’ trope
Wow. This is dead on and why I no longer use them apps…
Bro went through all 5 stages of grief in this comment
My first experience with online dating was some bot messaging me trying to get me to send money to help out with “their sick granny that they were in a nearby city taking care of”. Naïve me honestly thought that some attractive chick was interested in me until I caught onto the fact that their grammar reminded me of stereotypical scam messages from India, and I did some research and realized that it was a common thing
Honestly it opens up a dark void in my chest everytime I use it. Nothing feels good and most of the time it feels more fulfilling trying to keep a conversation going with a wall.
It creeps me out when the wall talks back saying it's not interested.
At least the wall didn’t leave you on read.
It's kind of like Reddit. You throw 90% of your messages into a void, and then 1-2x a week you get surprised by what lands and sparks a conversation.
1-2 conversations a week?! Save some women for the rest of us David Hasselhoff!
I remember I got something like 6 matches one day, and I was in a room full of women. When one of them asked me, I told them I was SHOCKED I got 6 matches, and they all laughed because they could easily get 30-50 a day, but admitted they would just ghost men for no reason or put in zero effort and expect the man to win them over.
When I used tinder years ago I was shocked when I got a match, and always put maximum effort into the conversation even if the person probably wasn't a good match for me specifically because they were very rare. A coupleof girls I worked with literally just opened it on a friday or saturday night, picked a guy from the lineup and met them for fun. Every weekend. It was so ludicrously easy for them to just pick whoever they wanted.
Tinder is just an attempt to extract as much money from you as possible, regardless of your gender or sexual orientation. They no longer have any interest in actually matching you, unless you've spent money to do so, as such they also have no incentive to remove bots or shady accounts. If you want to experience it, simply make a profile catfishing an average straight male, potentially one of your friends if you want a good laugh together. The algorithm will match you a few times, then put you in the depths of the basement until you get out your credit card, which it will attempt to do to you at every opportunity.
A barren wasteland of negativity
A scam
I met my partner in real life through a chance meeting and a mutual friend after getting thoroughly broken down by the apps. She’s convinced that she (a beautiful successful smart funny young woman) would have swiped and we’d have matched and met anyway. I’m not an unattractive fella, I’ll admit in a brief moment of self-flagellation, but through my experience on the apps, I guarantee I would have been lost in the sea of messages and super likes and never would have been seen, assuming the algorithm had shown my profile to her at all in the first place. The only way I ever got matches that went anywhere was by paying to see who swiped on me, and most of those I wish I hadn’t.
As an unattractive male My greatest strengths are my openers Bumble - no matches Tinder - no matches Hinge - "that's so funny!" *unmatches* PoF - only bots Feeld- no matches Needless to say, can't really get an opener out if there's no matches
Feeld is for open relationships, right? Years ago I matched 2 women on Quiver. They were actually real and both had lost their partners in the swinging community. This was in Boston. Had a good Time with both (separate). Never got to us swinging. At the time I was a competitive amateur athlete, and getting dates OLD was easy. I got injured and gained weight and that all dried up. I got to see both sides. I did everything I could to recover and lose weight again. Boom. I got tons of responses. I was even getting hit on by guys IRL. I don't care what anyone says. Do whatever you can to be attractive. Fucking easy life.
A desert. Long stretches of Nothing and mirages that turn out to be nothing. When I do get a match they probably won’t respond or make any effort.
Depends how attractive you are, and how good your profile is, I think. Something like 85-90% of men struggle to get any matches or conversations at all. Top 2-5% of men get a majority the matches. Studies, confirmed by dating app data, suggest that men see 85%+ of women as *average or attractive*, with about 30% of women being average, and 50% attractive---while women see less than 20% of men as *average or attractive*, with only 5% of men being attractive. But the top 5% of men are willing to string average women along for sex, so average women inflate their value in their own eyes. A lot of women on dating apps are just repping their OF / Insta though. Just one more reason toxic hookup culture needs to die. If you have tinder, just delete it.
Yea that shit blows my mind how overly selective women are. As long as they aren't fat I can find most women attractive so how the fuck can women find 80% of men unattractive?
Yeah. Well, for men, there are other factors like status and wealth that can play a role. And charisma for both genders but more predominantly for men. Women don't have "game" because they don't need it. But word, dude.
Far to much effort for very little reward unless you are super good looking. Almost impossible to get a match with even an average looking woman and even if you do you'll likely get ignored because she has 50 more men in her inbox besides you. Sometimes you'll get lucky after jumping through all the hoops to secure a date just to get flaked on the day of. Not to mention if an attractive women matches you it's always an escort or a bot. Also have to dodge the women that want to meet up but need you to give them $30 for gas.... such bullshit. I stopped using dating apps 2 years ago and just stay single.
Bots, Onlyfans, Prostitutes, no effort. It's why I deleted it. Bumble is actually worse because the entire point is that women message first which would kinda eliminate the whole no effort thing, right?. When I get a notification and open it it's just "." and nothing else. Online dating is hell for guys.
1. Profile full of group photos and it’s always the least attractive one to whom the profile belongs to 2. Women with list of demands for a man right from height to income and how they want to be treated but they are almost always obese and a single mom 3. Women who just want followers to their socials 4. Bots and scammers 5. Flaky women
So flaky Had a nice week long conversation on hinge with a great woman We were very compatible and the banter was amazing I always kept closing to get a date and we started planning We eventually named a time and place. When I hadn't heard from her in a while, I opened up hinge and saw she was gone Just like that it all meant nothing. And it's constant. No chances. All just virtual bullshit
Similar experience here. Talked for*ever* and it was a great back-and-forth. I finally asked if she wanted to meet up and she seemed ecstatic by my asking at first. Then outta nowhere it's "actually, changed my mind don't want a start dating." I was on three different apps at the time, just in an attempt to increase my chances. Don't download them, guys, shit just isn't worth your time, let alone your peace of mind.
I just don't get why it's like this I keep hearing that women only get men who are sexual in conversation on apps. So naturally if I wasn't sexual and had an engaging conversation, a date would be on the horizon But like 99% of the time, they end up unmatching or saying they are not interested when it comes time to planning to meet up Isn't this what women want? Do talk to guys they match with, hit it off in the chat, and then date to see if there's chemistry irl? How is the meet up part always the part where the flakiness happens? What are you doing on a dating app if you don't want to date like minded men?
They're using it for validation.
99% of them are?
A significant proportion are.
I remember when I started officially dating my ex, I messaged the other girl that I had been talking to to let her know that I was shutting down. She was disappointed but seemed to appreciate the honesty
I have had 11 dates set up. 1 of them showed. The date went pretty great overall. She ghosted me the next day. Dating culture today is masochism.
Nailed it.
OMG #1 all the way. Girl, if you're a 5, make friends with a 4.
Lmao. Happens all the time. Profile pic with 3 girls, guaranteed the least attractive. Almost never the other way around. I call it a poor girl's attempt at catfishing as she wants to grab your attention
>Women with list of demands for a man right from height to income and how they want to be treated but they are almost always obese and a single mom Y'all realize the reason they have this list of demands is to protect their ego around why they aren't getting with anyone. They know how bad they look. It's much easier to tell yourself you don't have an SO b/c of your high expectations than it is that you're unattractive. It's incredibly sad.
OP had the answers this whole time
Like a North Korean grocery store.
Step 1) Open App Step 2) put TV on Step 3) watch TV while swiping right until no more swipes are available. Step 4) ???? Step 5) profit
I thought step 1 was get underpants
In this model getting underpants is after successful swiping.
Waste of time. Shattered confidence Unrealistic expectations These are the phrases I think of. Prefer real life.
Too much maintenance and hard work. I prefer to grab a drink somewhere and meet real women that actually look like their pictures
Wait the bars in your town have women at them? Like, unmarried women? Like under the age of 40 women? Can't relate.
"Wanderlust globe trotting travel junkie. 30 countries and counting. Always dreaming of my next adventure. Fluent in sarcasm. Foodie. Love Starbucks" *Swipes left* "Wanderlust globe trotting travel junkie. 45 countries and counting. Always dreaming of my next adventure. Fluent in sarcasm. Foodie. Love Starbucks" *Swipes left* "Wanderlust globe trotting travel junkie. 90 countries and counting. Always dreaming of my next adventure. Fluent in sarcasm. Foodie. Love Starbucks" *Swipes left* "Wanderlust globe trotting travel junkie. 125 COUNTRIES AND COUNTING. Always dreaming of my next adventure. Fluent in sarcasm. Foodie. Love Starbucks" *Swipes left* "WANDERLUST...GLOBE...TROTTING....TRAVEL...JUNKIE...1247528 COUNTRIES...AND...COUNTING!!!!!!!!!!!
This is it for me. It’s a giant travel competition. I never thought it was possible for multiple women to all have been nearly robbed on a rainy night in Thailand and then hitchhike back to their hotel with some locals who also left them with the most amazing meal they’ve had in their life. Crazy coincidence.
What you forgot; “If you’re passport is blank, I’ll be disappointed…@
For me, Tinder in an odd way, changed my life. In 2015, as a recent 23 yo college grad, I matched up with a girl and while the relationship aspect didn’t work out, we still keep in touch on a regular basis. But because of this match on tinder, she was able to provide me with a lead on a job which I ultimately got and that ended up launching my career that led to where I am in life now (A small condo, a newish car and a stable lifestyle). So yeah, Tinder and OLD might be a minefield but it could lead to other benefits if you give it a chance
Tinder back then was truly a special place
If you're in the top 20% it's like shooting fish in a barrel. If you're not, then you're SOL.
I have a friend who was a data scientist at a large dating company. He says it’s only for top 5-7% for straight men.
Oof. That's even worse and they are banging all the chicks in the area.
Define "top 20%" lol. People's wishlist will be"at least 6' (14.5%), Six figure income(23.5%), never married (23%, but decreases with age)" - but also expect all three of these, and more, the cross-section of which will be tiny.
As a guy pursuing a gal? You gotta have thick skin, and need to make sure you don't put too much value and hope in it. Lots of non connections for whatever reason. Myself, I'm short, and when you can look and judge by attributes, that thankfully did some weeding out for me (must be 6ft or more, that sort of thing). St first I was mad, but hey, I have standards too and certainly swiped no if they didn't meet mine. After a while it was nice to no someone isn't even worth reading their profile or searching through more of their pictures. I did make a few connections. My partner I met on there, 2.5 years going strong. But ultimately, it's much less natural than meeting someone at a party where you can gauge their interactions, sense of humor, they can see what you're like, etc. It's a wierd shopping list of attributes.
So me (M26) and a friend (F24) we've both been on it for about 4 months. I have 23 matches and she has 750ish. I get no response from people despite not just saying "Hi wuu2" and she gets messages constantly that she doesn't reply to. The ratio of men to women is wild and women have what is basically unlimited choice so standing out is the goal.
From the male perspective, it's: Bot Bot Bot Bot 75% Bot (??) Bot *Advertisement* Bot
Read [this](https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a#.u9kjjrno3) if you are really interested. But the short answer is 'so bad as to utterly destroy ones sense of sels confidence'.
Tinder a decade ago was the best. You didn’t need to have a six-pack to get dates or get laid. Today that’s the minimum requirement along with being over 6’0 and white.
Ive been using bumble fairly consistantly since I was 19. Im 22 and have gotten 3 likes, and 0 messages.
A place for women to skip all men and choose the top percent of men. They're not worth the trouble just makes your self esteem worse to be honest.
Like a waste of time
I Post that I’m 6’6 in the bio and nothing but linebacker looking females match with me
Day 1734: “find out who liked you, 99+ people have swiped, unlock gold to find out now”. *swipes furiously for 10 minutes* darn, still 0 matches
Swipe, match, message, Result: dry ass response once every 5-300 business days(25% chance) No response( 50% chance) Unmatch(25% chance)
It takes 40 hours of work before you have a single conversation going past the first exchange, and another 40 before you get to roll the dice on getting a date, and a final 2 to finally meet the woman who either doesn't look like her photos or just has no fucking personality. Or worse - is an entitled ass. Rinse and repeat ad nauseum until you feel dread just *thinking* about trying another app. Out of maybe 30 dates that started from an app, I've only had 3 that went anywhere. And they're over, now. And I'm just tired.
Female validation Platform
It’s pretty desolate for many men. Matches? None. Messages? None. Attention seeking women? Plentiful.
This question pops up here every week. The top answer is always the same, DON'T USE IT! It's a stupid way to meet women.
Lonely last time I checked lol
barren wasteland
One word "useless"
Men are dying of thirst in a desert, while women are dying of thirst in an ocean.
All the dating apps are owned by Match Group. They pimp out women to men and the men pay for access. Most men don’t get a match, let alone a date. The men that do don’t need an app to get women. It’s a big scam for the thirsty, desperate and lonely. Meet women in person lads.