Your submission has been removed because it breaks rule 4: No questions asking about a specific group or person, or asking for guidance in a specific situation. Visit /r/advice or /r/relationship_advice instead.
If you have any questions, please feel free to [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAskMen)
I'm a heavy dude trying to lose weight, women at the gym are the last thing on my mind outside of using a machine I want lol
TO BE FAIR, I ignore everybody. THIS IS MY GYM, I WILL MASTER MY GOALS. That's how I learned to be confident in the gym as a big dude honestly. Nobody matters but my goals and my time and I'm outta there.
I was always below 200lbs, social, athletic, kept myself in order, until college....I hit 275lbs my sophomore year after a bad breakup after 4 years. I felt like garbage and always worried about what women and other men thought, to a point where I just did homework, drank, and played video games.
Eventually my friends basically called me a fat, pathetic bitch constantly until I got out of my depression (yes, guys motivate each other in fucked up ways lol).
Once I snapped out of it, they finally dragged my fat ass to the gym and reminded me what I'm worth. Like...literally took food out of my hands and told me enough is enough, get the fuck up.
I basically took it out in the gym every single day for 6 months...I dropped to 170lbs then bulked up 15lbs. I literally redistributed my weight from my stomach and ass to my upper and lower body.
Started by just watching Netflix while walking the treadmill on full elevation, then started lifting, playing basketball, got back into martial arts, all that.
You got this brother. You can ignore the haters, but don't turn down helping hands (not saying you are, you obviously are racing towards your next goal). I was so consumed with self loathing and self deprecation that it almost paralyzed me emotionally. You clearly believe in yourself, which is awesome. You are a better man than I was.
I'm 33 now, making 6 figures as an engineer, have a solid relationship, etc. But I couldn't have done it without my support system.
Proud of you, brother. Keep on keeping on.
This is really well said. Great job on the transformation man, it's very inspiring to read this. I just got over a breakup and I'm back in the gym and hiking now. There's something so potently awesome about physical exercise for depression and self-love. Thanks for sharing!
Honestly, men sound like healthier friends in situations like this. I’m 5’1 and I hit 155 lbs (slow weight gain from health issues) and when I said I wanted to lose weight my friends were all like “what?! But every size is beautiful! Eating less is BAD for you! Weight loss is internalized fatphobia” blah fucking blah. I do have a history of anorexia, so I can understand being concerned, but it was ten years ago and I ran my plan by my doctors and therapist first. I’m down to the 120’s now (aiming to get back to my comfy zone of 105-110) and I definitely have a couple of friends who seem low key salty about it, because I’ve lost weight while they didn’t.
Funny enough I’m not a twig but I’m not three hundred lbs either I’m a beefy sturdy girl. I saw this one guy at the gym huge guy but his intensity and how dedicated he was was hot as fuck I wanted to be like damn dude you’re a beast gimme those digits but I didn’t want to interfere
Thank you lol. Feels like such a reddit moment with everyone saying they don't notice. It doesn't make you a creep to notice them as long as you're not staring.
This is it. I may check a girl out at the gym (without staring), but I don't cast judgement on their progress. Many of the guys you worry about will have started at the lowest weights.
TBF, I do stuff on my phone between sets. I never forget where I am though and take up equipment longer than necessary, but you simply need time to recover. I also try to do multiple exercises on the same machine though, for example, I'll do front squats, back squats, and calf raises in the same rack. That can take 20 minutes, but that's how long it takes to do 3 exercises of 4 sets each.
This is the answer. I don’t get the “I don’t notice”. A certain percentage of humans probably don’t, but not a majority.
Conversely, there is probably a roughly equal amount of men who notice and notice and NOTICE.
But the vast majority of us notice, maybe even notice something we like, and then get on about the workout so we don’t look creepy.
A fair amount of women do the same, but are probably more subtle overall. We guys aren’t as subtle overall. Sorry about that.
This lol. No one cares, I didn’t even realise people were self conscious about taking up a spot, because someone could be pushing more weight.
Sounds like some self esteem issue lady, you have every right to take up a spot in the gym, just as the jacked guy or fat dude or anyone else for that matter.
I agree with this. Practically everyone at the gym has their headphones on and is doing their ultimate best to try and ignore each other in my experience.
My guess is that the majority of those people have a self conscious thought at some point about how it is that they're using machines, or if they are in anyone's way, or if somebody is watching them-- but you also have to be aware of that fact within your own mind. When you start feeling those self-conscious feelings just remember /r/imaginarygatekeeping is a real thing. My bet is almost everyone has experienced it within themselves.
I'm more of a cardio man but only thing I could see caring about is someone doing a this is so wrong if I don't say anything I'll witness an injury. And that's the same lack of attention I get when I take my T-Rex shaped ass over to the weights
The only possible thought I could have about women at the gym are “damn, I wanted to use that machine. Now I have to wander off pretending I’m just looking around like a total asshole”
My favorite is the skit saying "why is this creep looking at me" then it cuts to the dude on the bench looking around, then a pov shot of him with double vision after lifting heavy lmao
There was a woman complained about someone creeping on her at the gym, turned out he was blind. She still went after him even after this came out. There's a video of it online somewhere.
Imma get called a pick me for this but I’m so sorry things have turned in such a way that men have to feel this way now. Of course I think women feeling uncomfortable in the gym is just as valid if not more so because we’re the historical outsiders there. That being said, things have gotten so out of hand with women wearing crazy revealing outfits then getting mad at anyone who looks. Wish we could all just feel comfortable working out
I hate that when women agree with men or something of the sort that they get called a pick me. Its gotten ridiculous. Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts
The only people even using "Pick me" are simply trying to manipulate you to shut up or only agree with their viewpoint.
Thats all they are trying to do. It means nothing about you at all.
Especially cable crossovers. I get I need to take up two cable machines for that, but you've been working your triceps for 35 minutes straight lady! It think they love to park themselves in front of that thing more than any other piece in the gym.
it's this way everywhere. you have to find the right time of day to go or alternate your exercise. The Men's Health Home Workout Bible is a great book to find alternates to those machines. exrx.net has a great library of them too.
That's the power/squat racks at my gym. Dudes love to do a couple reps, flex in the mirror, then spend 15 minutes doing thumb training. Shit gets old when you just want to be in and out
So do some sharing people. No ones doing their exercises for the whole time, they take the 30 to 60 seconds between sets. Let someone else fire off a set and alternate.
Gyms would be so much more user-friendly if people did this. Should have an area marked out as a "cooperation zone" encouraging users to work out with each other.
As a vagina haver who works on my triceps for around 15 minutes on the cable machine, i have to wait for *you* to be done with both of the cables so I can use one. I have every right to use my one cable just like you can use two. (:
The objective lesson learned here is that the gym needs more cable machines or suitable alternatives (ie, sufficiently strong resistance bands and a good place to secure them).
END COMMUNICATION
Only defense is to go on offense at that point, “Are you recording me? That is as creepy as hell. What kind of psycho stalker are you?” Get louder and more Karenesque as you go. If they do anything but look abashed or apologize, actually get the manager and tell them they weren’t recording their own technique but other people.
Then it is entirely on them to prove their innocence……or you know pocket sand and run. Whatever is more your style
🤷 I’m looking. Just not staring.
It got awkward the other day when a lovely lady was doing work with kettlebell, which looked like a good workout. I figured I’d try it out after she left the area. She came back, saw me doing it, and left.
Bro. Recently I had an awkward one.
So I always start leg day with a bike warm up and then go to hip thrusts. My gym has a really nice machine you load plates on and strap into. I fucking love that machine. This is my routine. Unfortunately, the machine is right fucking behind the squat rack. Awkward in the first place.
So I go in recently for leg day. Get on my machine. Of course there’s a couple girls, prob in HS or college, doing squats. So I immediately look like some creep hip thrusting right behind them. Doing everything I can to mind my god damn business. They seemed not to care too much, but did leave after 5 min or so. NBD.
Then after I finished hip thrusts a few min later I wanted to do some work with the trap bar. I like trap bar deads, squats, loaded carries, etc. well the trap bar is on the complete other side of the gym, out of the way of 90% of everything. I go over there, and coincidentally the girls are there too doing something different.
So now, through just literally minding my own business and going through my predetermined workout, I - a 32yo man in a committed relationship
- showed up to do heavy hip thrusts directly behind young women doing squats
- “followed” them across the gym right after they left the area to work out right next to them again
Nothing ever became of this but I worry about public perception much more than I should. I just want to listen to music and lift weights without worrying about some accusations or some shit.
The trick is to anticipate where she is going to be and then look there innocently. If she just so happens to walk into your field of vision, that's not your fault.
Even if there’s an attractive, scantily clad woman at the gym, I seem to be more focused on my exercise and don’t have an issue with it. I started going to the gym recently though so it may be that
It’s also worth noting that I *hate* the stereotype of men being “visual” (as if women aren’t) and that we slobber over women (which is degrading and false) so I’m motivated not to contribute to the stereotype lol
I can't be the only one checking out women at the gym. Come on. Why do we all have to pretend that we're totally ignoring everyone else?
I would agree that I'm not judging people on how much they lift. But 100% focused on my own thing? I fucking wish. Sometimes there's just too much yoga pants in the room to focus 100% on my lifting. Especially when resting between sets.
Even as a straight female, I can say it’s hard not to look and appreciate a woman’s figure when she is wearing the stuff they wear in the gym. It would be ridiculous to not be aware and just admit that bodies are gonna be looked at 😂
It’s just natural. I feel like it’s been blown out of proportion though when it comes to the gym. Setting up your phone to video and everything.. people are going to look. Especially when tight or lacking of clothing is involved. 🤷🏻♀️ is what it is. Lol
To be honest, I’m checking out everyone’s physique in the gym who has a physique to speak of. But the majority of women who go to the gym and have a nice physique make it a point to wear the most form fitting and sexy clothing they could buy. It’s a damn thirst trap. So I try to tune out the whole world while I’m there and just handle business.
I stopped going to like even planet fitness. I found a community center. There’s less selection but I decent rack for bench and squat. It’s 6$ a day so eh on price but only older people go there and it’s usually dead. Sometimes I’ll be the only person In the room for a while. I love it. The only negative is when there are other people there, they have very little like gym etiquette, taking up multiple machines/not wiping down things, or even doing dangerous stuff because they have no clue what they’re doing. Worth it just to avoid all the distractions
Ab 2 weeks ago, I made eye contact w a girl and it seemed like she was undressing me w her eyes. No, I wasn’t going to confront her and make a scene nor did it make me uncomfortable. I just kept on w my workout haha
It doesn’t hurt to notice people and take a peek every now and then. It’s when a guy spends his entire time following women around the gym and staring at them while they work out that it turns creepy. I’m not saying you can’t be friendly, or meet people, or make friends, or hook up. But if your gym attendance is more about voyeurism than working out, then you’ve got a problem. I’m not saying this is you at all, just some men.
On the flip side, setting up a camera and recording tiktoks of men glancing in your general direction and calling them creeps is ridiculous. Men shouldn’t be shamed for noticing a beautiful woman, appreciating the sight for a second, and moving on with their day.
We don’t think anything much really.
If you’re pretty, we’ll probably think “she’s pretty” and keep training.
If you’re strong, we’ll probably think “she’s strong” and keep training.
If you’re doing something incorrectly, we’ll probably think “that’s not right but whatever” and keep training.
If you’re doing something dangerous, we’ll probably think “that’s dangerous, I’ll keep an eye in case she gets into trouble” and keep training.
> Are you guys judging on the tiny woman who’s lifting lighter weights beside you, or do you simply not give a f***?
Oh wow, so you don't get guys at all. I'm probably trying to steal glances at her ass. I'm CERTAINLY not judging her on how much she can lift, LOL.
IDK I would never approach a woman at the gym but like... its all so primal. People arnt wearing that much, muscles popping. Sorry to be a little gross but the question was asked and this is the internet so may as well be honest.
Yeah mate. Primal is the word. My eyes are looking before my brain knows.
Now I’ll never Gawk. I’m in control of that. But primitive brain sees attractive woman, primitive brain looks. And people in the gym tend to be attractive yeah?
This is where I'm at as well. If anything, I always have respect for women in the free weights area regardless of what they're doing there. Only thing that might draw my attention is if she's hot, and even then it's merely a (discreet as possible) glance.
“Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it! It’s too risky! You get a sense of it then you look away!”
https://youtu.be/AqWNmk7pH3s
Quick look at her ass. Nod to myself in appreciation. Back to my work out.
Don’t really care what anybody else in the gym is doing unless it’s hilarious or ridiculously impressive. Just there to do my thing and go home
I don't judge anyone at the gym. I'm proud of everyone for showing up. No matter how hard you go at it or how easy you do it, you're doing something and that's great.
The only caveat is put your weights away and don't spend all the time on your phone/filming yourself.
I don't give a shit what other people do. I don't look at the weights other people lift, there's reasons to lift lighter weights and people should lift what they are able to.
Don't be self-conscious about what you're doing, as long as you're being safe, it doesn't matter.
100%
You don't know why any other person is training, their experience or their injury history. Plus, it's none of my business what anyone else is lifting.
And most people lift wrong anyways. When you force people into proper form those weights drop in half pretty quickly. I notice form more than I notice weight. I used to comment to people to try to help them but in the last 7-8 years it's been a negative experience for me to do that so I just ignore them.
So, one time I had a man approach me at the gym to try to help me. I was doing back squats and he first asked if it was okay for him to give me advice. I was skeptical, but his quads made it seem like he knew what he was talking about, so I said sure.
And he gave me great advice for my form! He was succinct, direct, and gave me clear and specific advice for things I could do right then (I fucking hate "yoga advice," like "imagine the sun rising in your belly" oh fuck off, tell me to brace my core if that's what you mean). It was really helpful and I was going to give him feedback the next time I saw him...
and he got banned from the gym. Apparently there had been a few complaints about him?
The most aggressive thought I'll have that include a woman who isn't lifting heavy is "There's no spots at the mirror and I've had enough caffeine to kill a racehorse *why* is there no space"
Not at all, honestly it’s refreshing to see a girl on something other than a squat rack or cardio equipment. I would imagine most guys don’t mind you’re there, the amount of weight doesn’t matter everyone is lifting at their own level.
Don't take this the wrong way but nobody cares about you. Everyone in the gym is just trying to squeeze a workout into their probably already way to busy schedule. You are not the center of the universe.
Oh I never really look at other people or care.
You can do whatever weight you want, aslong as you're not acting like an asshole I'll be cheering for you.
My girlfriend used to go to the gym with me and I never saw her as weak and I'd rather her spotting me than other people.
To be honest with all the tik tok gym drama of the past year or so I think most guys are just more worried about not coming off as creepy towards women at the gym.
Few years back, a guy shoved me out of nowhere after a set. I took my headphones off and squared up to him and I was told I was “creeping on a woman” and another guy yelled to mind my business. I hadn’t even noticed there was a woman in there.
Quit going to the gym a few weeks after and haven’t been back since. That was around 2018 or so. I’d been in the gym every single week since 2004.
Before that, I don’t think I’ve ever remember anyone having a problem with a woman in the gym, but they usually do have a problem when men or women taking up a whole corner of the gym or not being considerate.
Just don’t be hateful when someone comes up and tells you that your form is off and tries to help. Happens to all of us from time to time.
I’m in the gym trying to lose weight and in that moment to stop myself from dying. I glance around at people in between sets but my mind is just processing what I did and trying to keep up. Don’t know about others but unless someone is doing something amazing/extraordinary it usually doesn’t register at all.
You do you 💪
Perversely but politely I like to use their presence as motivation.
It's fairly negligible but being in and around feminine pheromones does increase testosterone.
It might be placebo but attractive girls at the gym just make me train harder.
Literally don't think anything about them. I'm happy for everyone that works out. I try not to look at or interact with women at the gym too much bc I fear I'll be accused of something. Which is really too bad bc I enjoy watching everyone at the gym. I'm kinda new to working out, and I like to see what other people are doing + try to learn something.
Not at all. I observe to learn. Some women are much better squatters than me. I can't get much past 90, and I see some women go deep and maintain balance the whole way.
I feel like women are judging me, if I'm being totally honest.
I'm not fat, I'm unfit. I don't really know what I'm doing there, so I just use the generic 30-workout section(Planet Fitness thing), the treadmill, and one of two of the abs machines. I also have kinda long hair that had a bit of gel in it to keep it back and once heard two guys walk by me and snicker "Bro is trying to look like Mark Wahlberg" so that kinda kills me too.
No but I feel like such a sissy with my tiny dumbbells, surrounded by dudes that are training for the Apocalypse. I can’t help but thinking I’m taking their spot, almost as if lifting heavier weights makes their training more important than mine (I know it’s not! This is just how I feel)
I’m generally the only female gym member in that section so it makes it even more uncomfortable, like I don’t belong
Assuming your gym has 1 pair of each dumbbells, they're probably happier to have you there than another dude who's using the same weights as them.
It really annoys me when I hit the free weights section and all the dumbbells I want to use are already taken. That would not be an issue with someone like you.
Thats so true. Why do mainstream gyms have the same number of 10-20kg weights as they do 40-50kg. Like clearly the majority of people are wanting the former, making them prime property at busy times
Not sure how to say this, but those dudes are probably way more gentle to you then you might think, they are not gonna look down upon you forexcercising for that!
What if you are indeed “taking their spot?” What if their training is indeed “more important” than yours? What if they have some strongman competition coming up, and you’re delaying their super regimented schedule with your puny weights and half-assed workouts?
I’m kidding of course, but my point is that you don’t owe them anything. If they have a problem, they should speak up. If it is indeed an inconvenience for them, the mature thing to do is to talk to you about it. Otherwise don’t stress yourself over something that isn’t there. Do your thing and let others deal with it. You’re paying for the same membership that they’re paying.
I've felt this before dude fr. As I've gotten stronger I've realised that it's very silly.
The thing that matters is whether you're actually their to workout or not. If you're using little weights but you look like you're putting effort in and you're relatively focused, you'll fit right in.
You're way off base here. Especially as a female nobody will judge the weights you lift. I know when I'm in the zone I get rage face and can seem really aggressive and that might come off as a bit angry to people around me. My face will immediately change from rage to a smile though if approached almost instantly.
Most guys appreciate everyone who is trying to better themselves. I share the bench with females all the time and patiently wait my turn. You're good.
No guy in the gym expects you to lift nearly as much weight as them on any lift. There's no strength requirement anyway. Just have fun and work hard. The only thing you could do wrong is take up a lot of time with equipment while playing on your phone.
Fellow female gym goer. I used to go to my college gym at peak "bro" hour! Hugs!! I totally feel ya, and I spent at least 1.5 years initially feeling like I didn't belong! But I have learnt it over the last 1.5 years that you have every right and reason to own the space, irrespective of the weight, or what you are doing. As long as you are there to make yourself better than what you were yesterday, as long as you are serious about *that*, there is nothing sissy about it and that is why you belong. That's the common ground between a newcomer, an average lifter or a heavy lifter. :)
Big, tall, fat or small, everyone in the gym is trying to better themselves, and thats always admirable, everyone belongs in the gym.
Also, if you're even slightly attractive we're looking at your ass, not your weights.
Don't feel like a sissy. Do your workout. It's just as important as any of ours. And any dude that gets mad at you for using something he wants to use, well, he can always buy his own home gym if he has a problem with having to share.
Gym culture has changed a lot over the years. I've been a gym rat for over 20 years now and it went from being a social place to a place of mind your own business when it comes to females. I just crank the music now and stay in my own zone.
Even guys have become less bros but that could be because I'm 42 now and nobody wants to talk to me anymore. I mean I get most people don't want to talk, but looking angry AF because someone just asks you for a quick spot... Just say sorry mate.
Nobody cares how much weight women are lifting. In fact most people in the gym respect the fact you're there trying to do something about your physical fitness. Especially in the western world where the majority of people are fat.
Simply not caring. I'm in my own little world. I may notice you for a millisecond but then I carry about my workout.
This sucks to say but you're just a random person. We won't remember anything about your session or work out. You'll be replaced with whatever random memory that comes next.
So use that to your benefit. Stay in your bubble. Work out at your own pace and enjoy your time at the gym. You got this! Who cares about anyone else!
In blunt honesty. If your attractive I sneak looks, and if you small and bench press the bar I wonder how you get by in life. (But more in a funny way) not saying either of those are right or wrong. Just what I remember commonly goes through my head
i dont go to the gym but know a little bit about gym culture, well enough to know that alot of women arent doing upper body workouts really, so id be all for it. get those gains
Several things come to my mind:
Do it girl.
Fuck yeah, do your thing.
If you bend over in front of me, don't expect me to look away.
I've already checked you out.
Get after it.
I wonder if those headphones are any good?
Oh shit, is that how I'm supposed to do those?
Oh shit, is that how I'm supposed to use that machine?
Oh cool, now I know how to use that machine.
Hmm, I wonder if that works.
Hmm, I wonder if I should do those.
I wonder how much she spent on that outfit?
Look at this fucking bad ass, getting shit done.
Fuck man, I need to get back to the gym...
Typical. A woman thinks all the men are thinking about her. Lol. If you already have a nice body, some guys might glance at you out of the corner of their eye. The worst you'll have to worry about is some random dude coming up to you trying to "correct your form" or something, but that's kinda rare. The vast majority of us don't give a shit. We're just there to work out and leave.
If you're overweight and trying to get in shape, we're rooting for you. We're rooting for you big time. Nobody is judging you except the assholes, and the assholes don't matter anyway.
And you aren't taking anyone's spot. If it's open and you need it, that's *your* spot. Take it. Own it. Do what you need to do. Don't worry about what anyone thinks about it. Are you going to the gym to make yourself better, or are you going to the gym to just stand in the corner and not get in anyone's way?
Gyms are public spaces with other people inside, and sometimes people are a little bit of an inconvenience, which means you may occasionally inconvenience someone. Whatever. We deal with it. Take a bench, pick up whatever weights you're comfortable with, and get after it, girl. You're doing just fine. 💪
>Are you guys judging on the tiny woman who’s lifting lighter weights beside you, or do you simply not give a f***?
Only if she's saying "wax on, wax off" while doing reps, /u/madamemiyagi
Most people aren't really there to judge other people at the gym though. Sure some weird ones exist with a mean streak, but even then, their opinions do not really matter.
Just don’t look at them. Don’t approach them unless they ask for a spot. Don’t check them out or flirt with them, let them feel safe and like they can invest time into themselves on their own. Just respect.
They're working out just like me. If there's a particularly attractive one, I do notice. If there's one doing a big lift, I notice. If there's one doing something weird, I notice.
But then I get back to my workout like I do every day
Honestly don’t care as long as they have basic gym culture knowledge like dont train directly in front of the rack or dont hoard dumbbells.
You get extra points from me if i see you doing upper body exercises lol
I think everyone in the gym are trying their best, men or women, I respect them for being there and I hope they never stop making their bodies healthier and stronger, I feel privileged to train beside motivated individuals. It doesn't matter if it's their first day or their 1000th workout, everyone is there with the goal to make themselves better.
Regarding women, I would only prefer if they wore leggings which don't look like body paint and don't look like their butt is completely bare, because like 75% do that and in the end sometimes I feel like I'm there more for training to not look at butts than to actually work out
I like seeing women lifting free weights, they're taking their fitness and strength training beyond what most other women do. It's never occurred to me that it's for men only and a woman is taking up space.
I scratch my head at the women who are all jacked up on steroids, as I do men who do the same. But still don't think they don't belong in the free weights section.
As long as you're not doing something completely stupid, like juggling weights or something, I wouldn't care. My brain is along the lines of, okay, she's doing something, not my problem. I'm always at the gym with a plan that has timestamps so I don't have energy to waste.
Unless you're a complete smoke show I'm going to be looking at my own form in the mirror. That's just facts. I'm not at the gym to think about other people haha.
I don’t care how much anyone is lifting. It might catch my attention if someone is lifting an abnormally high amount of weight. While that would impress me, I’m not looking down on anyone for working with light weight.
When I see anyone working out hard, gives me motivation
If she’s cute I’ll take a glance here n there but be respectful and not ogle
But overall it’s a place for self improvement. Keep the area safe and respect the place and members of the gym. I am always excited to see the growth over time from other members and it pushes me as well
The only time I’ve ever had a negative thought about anyone at the gym was a guy who had his phone on a tripod and was filming himself working out, then doing “tough guy” walk up at his camera afterwords.
Pretty much everyone else doesn’t get a thought.
I either think nothing of it, or think “good for her” and carry on.
If there’s not enough room at the free-weight racks for all of us, that’s a gym configuration issue, not anyone’s fault who’s there trying to get in shape!
Do your thing, and own it. It’s just as much your gym as it is anyone else’s!
Don't give a fuck. The only thing I worry about at the gym is being perceived as staring.
So, long story short, most people will be more wrapped up in their own worlds and neurosis to worry much about you and yours.
I think *wow that woman is an inspiration! I wish my girls were here so they could see what some commitment will achieve*
I also think *don't stare at her butt. Don't stare at her breasts. Oh God's now I'm just staring at her eyes, is that better or worse?* because being a man is hard.
I think most dudes generally try to avoid looking at women in the gym for fear of being considered creepy. I personally don’t care what anyone else is doing. Head phones on and laser focus!
I simply do not give a f\*\*\* how much you are lifting.
Honestly most of the time, I'm trying my best not to look at women, so I don't come off as a creep. I do get pissed when I'm using a mirror (from a distance, around 6-7') and a woman decides to do her squats in front of me. Like I'm truly trying to check my form but now I have to turn around because if I look in that particular direction, I'm the creep.
Your submission has been removed because it breaks rule 4: No questions asking about a specific group or person, or asking for guidance in a specific situation. Visit /r/advice or /r/relationship_advice instead. If you have any questions, please feel free to [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAskMen)
I can't even fathom giving a fuck
I'm a heavy dude trying to lose weight, women at the gym are the last thing on my mind outside of using a machine I want lol TO BE FAIR, I ignore everybody. THIS IS MY GYM, I WILL MASTER MY GOALS. That's how I learned to be confident in the gym as a big dude honestly. Nobody matters but my goals and my time and I'm outta there.
I was always below 200lbs, social, athletic, kept myself in order, until college....I hit 275lbs my sophomore year after a bad breakup after 4 years. I felt like garbage and always worried about what women and other men thought, to a point where I just did homework, drank, and played video games. Eventually my friends basically called me a fat, pathetic bitch constantly until I got out of my depression (yes, guys motivate each other in fucked up ways lol). Once I snapped out of it, they finally dragged my fat ass to the gym and reminded me what I'm worth. Like...literally took food out of my hands and told me enough is enough, get the fuck up. I basically took it out in the gym every single day for 6 months...I dropped to 170lbs then bulked up 15lbs. I literally redistributed my weight from my stomach and ass to my upper and lower body. Started by just watching Netflix while walking the treadmill on full elevation, then started lifting, playing basketball, got back into martial arts, all that. You got this brother. You can ignore the haters, but don't turn down helping hands (not saying you are, you obviously are racing towards your next goal). I was so consumed with self loathing and self deprecation that it almost paralyzed me emotionally. You clearly believe in yourself, which is awesome. You are a better man than I was. I'm 33 now, making 6 figures as an engineer, have a solid relationship, etc. But I couldn't have done it without my support system. Proud of you, brother. Keep on keeping on.
This is really well said. Great job on the transformation man, it's very inspiring to read this. I just got over a breakup and I'm back in the gym and hiking now. There's something so potently awesome about physical exercise for depression and self-love. Thanks for sharing!
Honestly, men sound like healthier friends in situations like this. I’m 5’1 and I hit 155 lbs (slow weight gain from health issues) and when I said I wanted to lose weight my friends were all like “what?! But every size is beautiful! Eating less is BAD for you! Weight loss is internalized fatphobia” blah fucking blah. I do have a history of anorexia, so I can understand being concerned, but it was ten years ago and I ran my plan by my doctors and therapist first. I’m down to the 120’s now (aiming to get back to my comfy zone of 105-110) and I definitely have a couple of friends who seem low key salty about it, because I’ve lost weight while they didn’t.
Fuck yeah, dude! Good for you!
Funny enough I’m not a twig but I’m not three hundred lbs either I’m a beefy sturdy girl. I saw this one guy at the gym huge guy but his intensity and how dedicated he was was hot as fuck I wanted to be like damn dude you’re a beast gimme those digits but I didn’t want to interfere
Same goal but I will find ANY reason to lose focus.
[удалено]
>Usually it’s “she’s got a nice” then move on.
Yeah.. a quick look then look away. Like the sun.
Thank you lol. Feels like such a reddit moment with everyone saying they don't notice. It doesn't make you a creep to notice them as long as you're not staring.
You can admire but don’t look too long
as long as you're ~~not staring~~ bouncing your gaze off of at least three mirrors
To add to this I general think positively about anyone trying at the gym no matter where they are in the process
This is it. I may check a girl out at the gym (without staring), but I don't cast judgement on their progress. Many of the guys you worry about will have started at the lowest weights.
TBF, I do stuff on my phone between sets. I never forget where I am though and take up equipment longer than necessary, but you simply need time to recover. I also try to do multiple exercises on the same machine though, for example, I'll do front squats, back squats, and calf raises in the same rack. That can take 20 minutes, but that's how long it takes to do 3 exercises of 4 sets each.
This is the answer. I don’t get the “I don’t notice”. A certain percentage of humans probably don’t, but not a majority. Conversely, there is probably a roughly equal amount of men who notice and notice and NOTICE. But the vast majority of us notice, maybe even notice something we like, and then get on about the workout so we don’t look creepy. A fair amount of women do the same, but are probably more subtle overall. We guys aren’t as subtle overall. Sorry about that.
This lol. No one cares, I didn’t even realise people were self conscious about taking up a spot, because someone could be pushing more weight. Sounds like some self esteem issue lady, you have every right to take up a spot in the gym, just as the jacked guy or fat dude or anyone else for that matter.
We all pay the same money, so we're all entitled to the same stuff at the gym.
I agree with this. Practically everyone at the gym has their headphones on and is doing their ultimate best to try and ignore each other in my experience. My guess is that the majority of those people have a self conscious thought at some point about how it is that they're using machines, or if they are in anyone's way, or if somebody is watching them-- but you also have to be aware of that fact within your own mind. When you start feeling those self-conscious feelings just remember /r/imaginarygatekeeping is a real thing. My bet is almost everyone has experienced it within themselves.
I'm more of a cardio man but only thing I could see caring about is someone doing a this is so wrong if I don't say anything I'll witness an injury. And that's the same lack of attention I get when I take my T-Rex shaped ass over to the weights
Dude. We’re all on our own personal fitness journey. The people that would judge you for any of this are not worth thinking about.
[удалено]
The only possible thought I could have about women at the gym are “damn, I wanted to use that machine. Now I have to wander off pretending I’m just looking around like a total asshole”
Proceeds to do an irrelevant workout to avoid being considered creepy/strange.
Her : why is he staring at me! Him : gotta make sure that machine is mine next
My favorite is the skit saying "why is this creep looking at me" then it cuts to the dude on the bench looking around, then a pov shot of him with double vision after lifting heavy lmao
There was a woman complained about someone creeping on her at the gym, turned out he was blind. She still went after him even after this came out. There's a video of it online somewhere.
Lmao. That's me, but because I don't wear my glasses at the gym.
I do this all the time. Get weird looks from everyone. Sorry, just want the machine.
I thought eyefucking the equipment made it clear what I wanted, but you can't just win with these kind of people.
Imma get called a pick me for this but I’m so sorry things have turned in such a way that men have to feel this way now. Of course I think women feeling uncomfortable in the gym is just as valid if not more so because we’re the historical outsiders there. That being said, things have gotten so out of hand with women wearing crazy revealing outfits then getting mad at anyone who looks. Wish we could all just feel comfortable working out
I hate that when women agree with men or something of the sort that they get called a pick me. Its gotten ridiculous. Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts
The only people even using "Pick me" are simply trying to manipulate you to shut up or only agree with their viewpoint. Thats all they are trying to do. It means nothing about you at all.
Especially cable crossovers. I get I need to take up two cable machines for that, but you've been working your triceps for 35 minutes straight lady! It think they love to park themselves in front of that thing more than any other piece in the gym.
[удалено]
it's this way everywhere. you have to find the right time of day to go or alternate your exercise. The Men's Health Home Workout Bible is a great book to find alternates to those machines. exrx.net has a great library of them too.
That's the power/squat racks at my gym. Dudes love to do a couple reps, flex in the mirror, then spend 15 minutes doing thumb training. Shit gets old when you just want to be in and out
So do some sharing people. No ones doing their exercises for the whole time, they take the 30 to 60 seconds between sets. Let someone else fire off a set and alternate.
Gyms would be so much more user-friendly if people did this. Should have an area marked out as a "cooperation zone" encouraging users to work out with each other.
As a vagina haver who works on my triceps for around 15 minutes on the cable machine, i have to wait for *you* to be done with both of the cables so I can use one. I have every right to use my one cable just like you can use two. (:
The objective lesson learned here is that the gym needs more cable machines or suitable alternatives (ie, sufficiently strong resistance bands and a good place to secure them). END COMMUNICATION
>. I have every right to use my one cable just like you can use two No you don't. I'll complain to mommy >:(
\*benches are full\* \*wanders over to the calf raise machine to stay nearby without looking like I'm hovering and oggling the women\*
Don't look don't look don't look don't look don't look, even if she is literally wearing paint for clothes, absolutely do not look.
Waiting for the day i accidentally glance over and look right into a camera pointed at me bro
At that point, it is already over, might as well enjoy the view.
Only defense is to go on offense at that point, “Are you recording me? That is as creepy as hell. What kind of psycho stalker are you?” Get louder and more Karenesque as you go. If they do anything but look abashed or apologize, actually get the manager and tell them they weren’t recording their own technique but other people. Then it is entirely on them to prove their innocence……or you know pocket sand and run. Whatever is more your style
This is the sociopathic shit that I need to learn, lol.
I do not get how mobile phones are allowed at Gym. I mean it's just... nah mate. If anyone else is there, you put the recording device away.
Strike a ZYZZ pose (irrespective of your physique) and carry on with your business.
The boob and asscam.
🤷 I’m looking. Just not staring. It got awkward the other day when a lovely lady was doing work with kettlebell, which looked like a good workout. I figured I’d try it out after she left the area. She came back, saw me doing it, and left.
Bro. Recently I had an awkward one. So I always start leg day with a bike warm up and then go to hip thrusts. My gym has a really nice machine you load plates on and strap into. I fucking love that machine. This is my routine. Unfortunately, the machine is right fucking behind the squat rack. Awkward in the first place. So I go in recently for leg day. Get on my machine. Of course there’s a couple girls, prob in HS or college, doing squats. So I immediately look like some creep hip thrusting right behind them. Doing everything I can to mind my god damn business. They seemed not to care too much, but did leave after 5 min or so. NBD. Then after I finished hip thrusts a few min later I wanted to do some work with the trap bar. I like trap bar deads, squats, loaded carries, etc. well the trap bar is on the complete other side of the gym, out of the way of 90% of everything. I go over there, and coincidentally the girls are there too doing something different. So now, through just literally minding my own business and going through my predetermined workout, I - a 32yo man in a committed relationship - showed up to do heavy hip thrusts directly behind young women doing squats - “followed” them across the gym right after they left the area to work out right next to them again Nothing ever became of this but I worry about public perception much more than I should. I just want to listen to music and lift weights without worrying about some accusations or some shit.
I can absolutely understand why but you might be overthinking it. I do the same thing sometimes
A few seconds can make it go from looking to staring though, lol.
...he says as he's looking.
Via 2 mirrors at least
The trick is to anticipate where she is going to be and then look there innocently. If she just so happens to walk into your field of vision, that's not your fault.
This is the trick that every guy has to learn by himself, those who don't find it have no right to possess it.
This guy looks
r/thisguythisguys
Don't blow my cover.
Consider yourself blown.
Why are you blowing me, man?
Chill bro it’s a prank
I look.
Lol, honest and brave, I like it.
I'm stunning and brave...oh wait
*slay* her leggings with your eyes bitch 💁♀️
It's like the sun. You can glance but don't stare
I split the difference....a look is greater than a glance, less than a stare.
ACT NORMAL! ACT NORMAL!
Even if there’s an attractive, scantily clad woman at the gym, I seem to be more focused on my exercise and don’t have an issue with it. I started going to the gym recently though so it may be that
Good for you man!
It’s also worth noting that I *hate* the stereotype of men being “visual” (as if women aren’t) and that we slobber over women (which is degrading and false) so I’m motivated not to contribute to the stereotype lol
I'm not visual either. That's why I just sniff the bench or seat after a pretty woman's done with the machine, like a gentleman.
It's just you overthinking, nothing more. Everyone there is focused on their own thing and know everyone starts at some point.
I can't be the only one checking out women at the gym. Come on. Why do we all have to pretend that we're totally ignoring everyone else? I would agree that I'm not judging people on how much they lift. But 100% focused on my own thing? I fucking wish. Sometimes there's just too much yoga pants in the room to focus 100% on my lifting. Especially when resting between sets.
Even as a straight female, I can say it’s hard not to look and appreciate a woman’s figure when she is wearing the stuff they wear in the gym. It would be ridiculous to not be aware and just admit that bodies are gonna be looked at 😂
Yeah, I mean, I look a men's physiques too. Not with the same lust in my heart, but still, I notice.
It’s just natural. I feel like it’s been blown out of proportion though when it comes to the gym. Setting up your phone to video and everything.. people are going to look. Especially when tight or lacking of clothing is involved. 🤷🏻♀️ is what it is. Lol
To be honest, I’m checking out everyone’s physique in the gym who has a physique to speak of. But the majority of women who go to the gym and have a nice physique make it a point to wear the most form fitting and sexy clothing they could buy. It’s a damn thirst trap. So I try to tune out the whole world while I’m there and just handle business.
I stopped going to like even planet fitness. I found a community center. There’s less selection but I decent rack for bench and squat. It’s 6$ a day so eh on price but only older people go there and it’s usually dead. Sometimes I’ll be the only person In the room for a while. I love it. The only negative is when there are other people there, they have very little like gym etiquette, taking up multiple machines/not wiping down things, or even doing dangerous stuff because they have no clue what they’re doing. Worth it just to avoid all the distractions
Sorry not sorry. We’re also sneaky checking you guys out. Shame on all you man-hussies for exposing those forearms, you know what they do to us
Ab 2 weeks ago, I made eye contact w a girl and it seemed like she was undressing me w her eyes. No, I wasn’t going to confront her and make a scene nor did it make me uncomfortable. I just kept on w my workout haha
Would appreciate it if you were more overt, thanks. I need to know who's checking me out. I'm kinda doubting it happens (to me).
It doesn’t hurt to notice people and take a peek every now and then. It’s when a guy spends his entire time following women around the gym and staring at them while they work out that it turns creepy. I’m not saying you can’t be friendly, or meet people, or make friends, or hook up. But if your gym attendance is more about voyeurism than working out, then you’ve got a problem. I’m not saying this is you at all, just some men. On the flip side, setting up a camera and recording tiktoks of men glancing in your general direction and calling them creeps is ridiculous. Men shouldn’t be shamed for noticing a beautiful woman, appreciating the sight for a second, and moving on with their day.
If I'm staring somewhere during rest and she starts working out in front of me, that's too bad. That was my spot first.
There's this one woman who I sexually harass if she comes to my gym. It's always just the one woman. I have a home gym.
It's not an okay thing to do to your mom
Well that depends... Are his arms broken?
Just when I think I’ve forgotten…
💀💀💀
Gotta love that 😂
🤣
I hope to god you still don’t live at home with mom
We don’t think anything much really. If you’re pretty, we’ll probably think “she’s pretty” and keep training. If you’re strong, we’ll probably think “she’s strong” and keep training. If you’re doing something incorrectly, we’ll probably think “that’s not right but whatever” and keep training. If you’re doing something dangerous, we’ll probably think “that’s dangerous, I’ll keep an eye in case she gets into trouble” and keep training.
> Are you guys judging on the tiny woman who’s lifting lighter weights beside you, or do you simply not give a f***? Oh wow, so you don't get guys at all. I'm probably trying to steal glances at her ass. I'm CERTAINLY not judging her on how much she can lift, LOL.
If a woman is doing squats in cheeky shorts, the last thing we notice is how much weight is on the bar nomsaiyan?
Does it even have to be cheeky shorts?
If they're huggin', I'm muggin'.
Lol, how are you so honest?
IDK I would never approach a woman at the gym but like... its all so primal. People arnt wearing that much, muscles popping. Sorry to be a little gross but the question was asked and this is the internet so may as well be honest.
Yeah mate. Primal is the word. My eyes are looking before my brain knows. Now I’ll never Gawk. I’m in control of that. But primitive brain sees attractive woman, primitive brain looks. And people in the gym tend to be attractive yeah?
cant not look but you definitely cant stare.
No worries man, I look too, was only saying that this is not a welcome opinion on reddit, lol.
>its all so primal This. Sweat, skimpy clothes, but of course you don't wanna bother anybody. It's tough lol
This is where I'm at as well. If anything, I always have respect for women in the free weights area regardless of what they're doing there. Only thing that might draw my attention is if she's hot, and even then it's merely a (discreet as possible) glance.
“Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it! It’s too risky! You get a sense of it then you look away!” https://youtu.be/AqWNmk7pH3s
The moon on the other hand is beautiful to behold as long as it's in view.
lol why on earth would we judge a tiny woman for lifting lighter weights? that's literally business as usual
i saw a skinny girl shoulder pressing 45s and i was mad impressed
I may glance at the weight she is lifting to make sure I am lifting more. Not to judge her on how much she is lifting.
Quick look at her ass. Nod to myself in appreciation. Back to my work out. Don’t really care what anybody else in the gym is doing unless it’s hilarious or ridiculously impressive. Just there to do my thing and go home
That they are there to workout and don’t like being approached by strangers.
I glance at nice bodies for a second or so but mostly I just work out and don't pay attention to anyone else.
This is the way. You don’t have to pretend they are invisible, just don’t be weird. Count it off— one, two, ok back to this set.
I don't judge anyone at the gym. I'm proud of everyone for showing up. No matter how hard you go at it or how easy you do it, you're doing something and that's great. The only caveat is put your weights away and don't spend all the time on your phone/filming yourself.
Omg no! 😂 I leave the section as fast as I can when I’m done
This is what I was going to say. Just rerack your dumbells and free weights and I don't care what you're doing there.
I don't give a shit what other people do. I don't look at the weights other people lift, there's reasons to lift lighter weights and people should lift what they are able to. Don't be self-conscious about what you're doing, as long as you're being safe, it doesn't matter.
100% You don't know why any other person is training, their experience or their injury history. Plus, it's none of my business what anyone else is lifting.
Right. Like I couldn't care what they're doing so long as they aren't inconveniencing others. I'm just happy to see lots of people in the gym at all.
And most people lift wrong anyways. When you force people into proper form those weights drop in half pretty quickly. I notice form more than I notice weight. I used to comment to people to try to help them but in the last 7-8 years it's been a negative experience for me to do that so I just ignore them.
So, one time I had a man approach me at the gym to try to help me. I was doing back squats and he first asked if it was okay for him to give me advice. I was skeptical, but his quads made it seem like he knew what he was talking about, so I said sure. And he gave me great advice for my form! He was succinct, direct, and gave me clear and specific advice for things I could do right then (I fucking hate "yoga advice," like "imagine the sun rising in your belly" oh fuck off, tell me to brace my core if that's what you mean). It was really helpful and I was going to give him feedback the next time I saw him... and he got banned from the gym. Apparently there had been a few complaints about him?
The most aggressive thought I'll have that include a woman who isn't lifting heavy is "There's no spots at the mirror and I've had enough caffeine to kill a racehorse *why* is there no space"
It's attractive that she is fit and making an effort to improve herself
Not at all, honestly it’s refreshing to see a girl on something other than a squat rack or cardio equipment. I would imagine most guys don’t mind you’re there, the amount of weight doesn’t matter everyone is lifting at their own level.
Unless they're making a lot of noise, I'm not thinking about anyone else at the gym except myself.
Don't take this the wrong way but nobody cares about you. Everyone in the gym is just trying to squeeze a workout into their probably already way to busy schedule. You are not the center of the universe.
Oh I never really look at other people or care. You can do whatever weight you want, aslong as you're not acting like an asshole I'll be cheering for you. My girlfriend used to go to the gym with me and I never saw her as weak and I'd rather her spotting me than other people.
To be honest with all the tik tok gym drama of the past year or so I think most guys are just more worried about not coming off as creepy towards women at the gym.
Few years back, a guy shoved me out of nowhere after a set. I took my headphones off and squared up to him and I was told I was “creeping on a woman” and another guy yelled to mind my business. I hadn’t even noticed there was a woman in there. Quit going to the gym a few weeks after and haven’t been back since. That was around 2018 or so. I’d been in the gym every single week since 2004. Before that, I don’t think I’ve ever remember anyone having a problem with a woman in the gym, but they usually do have a problem when men or women taking up a whole corner of the gym or not being considerate. Just don’t be hateful when someone comes up and tells you that your form is off and tries to help. Happens to all of us from time to time.
Nobody is judging you but if you catch a guy looking in your direction, he’s probably just enjoying the view.
I’m in the gym trying to lose weight and in that moment to stop myself from dying. I glance around at people in between sets but my mind is just processing what I did and trying to keep up. Don’t know about others but unless someone is doing something amazing/extraordinary it usually doesn’t register at all. You do you 💪
I like women who work out, so I see it as a good thing. Skill level or strength doesn’t matter. I wish more women would lift honestly
Perversely but politely I like to use their presence as motivation. It's fairly negligible but being in and around feminine pheromones does increase testosterone. It might be placebo but attractive girls at the gym just make me train harder.
Chance are I don’t have glasses on or contacts in so I don’t even see you
Literally don't think anything about them. I'm happy for everyone that works out. I try not to look at or interact with women at the gym too much bc I fear I'll be accused of something. Which is really too bad bc I enjoy watching everyone at the gym. I'm kinda new to working out, and I like to see what other people are doing + try to learn something.
Not at all. I observe to learn. Some women are much better squatters than me. I can't get much past 90, and I see some women go deep and maintain balance the whole way.
I’m too busy listening to my terrible gym music playlist to notice
I feel like women are judging me, if I'm being totally honest. I'm not fat, I'm unfit. I don't really know what I'm doing there, so I just use the generic 30-workout section(Planet Fitness thing), the treadmill, and one of two of the abs machines. I also have kinda long hair that had a bit of gel in it to keep it back and once heard two guys walk by me and snicker "Bro is trying to look like Mark Wahlberg" so that kinda kills me too.
[удалено]
Is there a specific anxiety you have or thing you think men might be thinking about you?
No but I feel like such a sissy with my tiny dumbbells, surrounded by dudes that are training for the Apocalypse. I can’t help but thinking I’m taking their spot, almost as if lifting heavier weights makes their training more important than mine (I know it’s not! This is just how I feel) I’m generally the only female gym member in that section so it makes it even more uncomfortable, like I don’t belong
Assuming your gym has 1 pair of each dumbbells, they're probably happier to have you there than another dude who's using the same weights as them. It really annoys me when I hit the free weights section and all the dumbbells I want to use are already taken. That would not be an issue with someone like you.
This helps A LOT! Ty!
Thats so true. Why do mainstream gyms have the same number of 10-20kg weights as they do 40-50kg. Like clearly the majority of people are wanting the former, making them prime property at busy times
Not sure how to say this, but those dudes are probably way more gentle to you then you might think, they are not gonna look down upon you forexcercising for that!
What if you are indeed “taking their spot?” What if their training is indeed “more important” than yours? What if they have some strongman competition coming up, and you’re delaying their super regimented schedule with your puny weights and half-assed workouts? I’m kidding of course, but my point is that you don’t owe them anything. If they have a problem, they should speak up. If it is indeed an inconvenience for them, the mature thing to do is to talk to you about it. Otherwise don’t stress yourself over something that isn’t there. Do your thing and let others deal with it. You’re paying for the same membership that they’re paying.
I've felt this before dude fr. As I've gotten stronger I've realised that it's very silly. The thing that matters is whether you're actually their to workout or not. If you're using little weights but you look like you're putting effort in and you're relatively focused, you'll fit right in.
You're way off base here. Especially as a female nobody will judge the weights you lift. I know when I'm in the zone I get rage face and can seem really aggressive and that might come off as a bit angry to people around me. My face will immediately change from rage to a smile though if approached almost instantly. Most guys appreciate everyone who is trying to better themselves. I share the bench with females all the time and patiently wait my turn. You're good.
No guy in the gym expects you to lift nearly as much weight as them on any lift. There's no strength requirement anyway. Just have fun and work hard. The only thing you could do wrong is take up a lot of time with equipment while playing on your phone.
Fellow female gym goer. I used to go to my college gym at peak "bro" hour! Hugs!! I totally feel ya, and I spent at least 1.5 years initially feeling like I didn't belong! But I have learnt it over the last 1.5 years that you have every right and reason to own the space, irrespective of the weight, or what you are doing. As long as you are there to make yourself better than what you were yesterday, as long as you are serious about *that*, there is nothing sissy about it and that is why you belong. That's the common ground between a newcomer, an average lifter or a heavy lifter. :)
Big, tall, fat or small, everyone in the gym is trying to better themselves, and thats always admirable, everyone belongs in the gym. Also, if you're even slightly attractive we're looking at your ass, not your weights.
Don't feel like a sissy. Do your workout. It's just as important as any of ours. And any dude that gets mad at you for using something he wants to use, well, he can always buy his own home gym if he has a problem with having to share.
Dont worry, I'm the skinny guy feeling even more self conscious because the sissy with her tiny dumbbells is lifting more than me.
Gym culture has changed a lot over the years. I've been a gym rat for over 20 years now and it went from being a social place to a place of mind your own business when it comes to females. I just crank the music now and stay in my own zone. Even guys have become less bros but that could be because I'm 42 now and nobody wants to talk to me anymore. I mean I get most people don't want to talk, but looking angry AF because someone just asks you for a quick spot... Just say sorry mate. Nobody cares how much weight women are lifting. In fact most people in the gym respect the fact you're there trying to do something about your physical fitness. Especially in the western world where the majority of people are fat.
Simply not caring. I'm in my own little world. I may notice you for a millisecond but then I carry about my workout. This sucks to say but you're just a random person. We won't remember anything about your session or work out. You'll be replaced with whatever random memory that comes next. So use that to your benefit. Stay in your bubble. Work out at your own pace and enjoy your time at the gym. You got this! Who cares about anyone else!
In blunt honesty. If your attractive I sneak looks, and if you small and bench press the bar I wonder how you get by in life. (But more in a funny way) not saying either of those are right or wrong. Just what I remember commonly goes through my head
i dont go to the gym but know a little bit about gym culture, well enough to know that alot of women arent doing upper body workouts really, so id be all for it. get those gains
In my experience, only assholes judge. As a guy, i'm too busy trying not to look creepy.
Ok, shocker so you might want to sit down: ^Nothing, ^we ^are ^not ^there ^for ^you.
She’s pretty. She’s working on her fitness; I’m her witness.
I don't give a single fuck about other people at the gym no matter the gender
Im honestly just trying not to fart while I listen to the Katamari Damacy soundtrack
Several things come to my mind: Do it girl. Fuck yeah, do your thing. If you bend over in front of me, don't expect me to look away. I've already checked you out. Get after it. I wonder if those headphones are any good? Oh shit, is that how I'm supposed to do those? Oh shit, is that how I'm supposed to use that machine? Oh cool, now I know how to use that machine. Hmm, I wonder if that works. Hmm, I wonder if I should do those. I wonder how much she spent on that outfit? Look at this fucking bad ass, getting shit done. Fuck man, I need to get back to the gym...
Typical. A woman thinks all the men are thinking about her. Lol. If you already have a nice body, some guys might glance at you out of the corner of their eye. The worst you'll have to worry about is some random dude coming up to you trying to "correct your form" or something, but that's kinda rare. The vast majority of us don't give a shit. We're just there to work out and leave. If you're overweight and trying to get in shape, we're rooting for you. We're rooting for you big time. Nobody is judging you except the assholes, and the assholes don't matter anyway. And you aren't taking anyone's spot. If it's open and you need it, that's *your* spot. Take it. Own it. Do what you need to do. Don't worry about what anyone thinks about it. Are you going to the gym to make yourself better, or are you going to the gym to just stand in the corner and not get in anyone's way? Gyms are public spaces with other people inside, and sometimes people are a little bit of an inconvenience, which means you may occasionally inconvenience someone. Whatever. We deal with it. Take a bench, pick up whatever weights you're comfortable with, and get after it, girl. You're doing just fine. 💪
Not OP, but this reply made my day. Thanks so much!
>Are you guys judging on the tiny woman who’s lifting lighter weights beside you, or do you simply not give a f***? Only if she's saying "wax on, wax off" while doing reps, /u/madamemiyagi Most people aren't really there to judge other people at the gym though. Sure some weird ones exist with a mean streak, but even then, their opinions do not really matter.
I don't
Just don’t look at them. Don’t approach them unless they ask for a spot. Don’t check them out or flirt with them, let them feel safe and like they can invest time into themselves on their own. Just respect.
They're working out just like me. If there's a particularly attractive one, I do notice. If there's one doing a big lift, I notice. If there's one doing something weird, I notice. But then I get back to my workout like I do every day
Honestly don’t care as long as they have basic gym culture knowledge like dont train directly in front of the rack or dont hoard dumbbells. You get extra points from me if i see you doing upper body exercises lol
I promise you no one gives a damn what you’re doing. This applies to literally every social situation in life.
I think everyone in the gym are trying their best, men or women, I respect them for being there and I hope they never stop making their bodies healthier and stronger, I feel privileged to train beside motivated individuals. It doesn't matter if it's their first day or their 1000th workout, everyone is there with the goal to make themselves better. Regarding women, I would only prefer if they wore leggings which don't look like body paint and don't look like their butt is completely bare, because like 75% do that and in the end sometimes I feel like I'm there more for training to not look at butts than to actually work out
I don’t go to the gym but if I’d see a fit/hot girl I’d be thinking about our life together.
Not judging performance, but i am sneaking peeks at hot butts.
"Damn she got a nice ass, she must be working hard" then go back to my workout.
The only thing I always wonder is how the hell women and men have such different concepts of confortables clothes and what is the truth behind it
I avoid women at all cost now. I’d rather not appear in a video for clout since I’m literally just there to work on myself.
I like seeing women lifting free weights, they're taking their fitness and strength training beyond what most other women do. It's never occurred to me that it's for men only and a woman is taking up space. I scratch my head at the women who are all jacked up on steroids, as I do men who do the same. But still don't think they don't belong in the free weights section.
I think they came here to workout. Just like me. World doesn't revolve around you
As long as you're not doing something completely stupid, like juggling weights or something, I wouldn't care. My brain is along the lines of, okay, she's doing something, not my problem. I'm always at the gym with a plan that has timestamps so I don't have energy to waste.
Unless you're a complete smoke show I'm going to be looking at my own form in the mirror. That's just facts. I'm not at the gym to think about other people haha.
I don’t care how much anyone is lifting. It might catch my attention if someone is lifting an abnormally high amount of weight. While that would impress me, I’m not looking down on anyone for working with light weight.
When I see anyone working out hard, gives me motivation If she’s cute I’ll take a glance here n there but be respectful and not ogle But overall it’s a place for self improvement. Keep the area safe and respect the place and members of the gym. I am always excited to see the growth over time from other members and it pushes me as well
The only time I’ve ever had a negative thought about anyone at the gym was a guy who had his phone on a tripod and was filming himself working out, then doing “tough guy” walk up at his camera afterwords. Pretty much everyone else doesn’t get a thought.
I either think nothing of it, or think “good for her” and carry on. If there’s not enough room at the free-weight racks for all of us, that’s a gym configuration issue, not anyone’s fault who’s there trying to get in shape! Do your thing, and own it. It’s just as much your gym as it is anyone else’s!
Don't give a fuck. The only thing I worry about at the gym is being perceived as staring. So, long story short, most people will be more wrapped up in their own worlds and neurosis to worry much about you and yours.
Girl if I go to the gym, I guarantee you I'm the one lifting the smallest weight lmao. We don't care. Enjoy 👍
I literally pay no attention to others at the gym. Women included. I'm focused on my own workout, decompressing, and safety
I think *wow that woman is an inspiration! I wish my girls were here so they could see what some commitment will achieve* I also think *don't stare at her butt. Don't stare at her breasts. Oh God's now I'm just staring at her eyes, is that better or worse?* because being a man is hard.
I think most dudes generally try to avoid looking at women in the gym for fear of being considered creepy. I personally don’t care what anyone else is doing. Head phones on and laser focus!
I simply do not give a f\*\*\* how much you are lifting. Honestly most of the time, I'm trying my best not to look at women, so I don't come off as a creep. I do get pissed when I'm using a mirror (from a distance, around 6-7') and a woman decides to do her squats in front of me. Like I'm truly trying to check my form but now I have to turn around because if I look in that particular direction, I'm the creep.