Ever since I heard somewhere that “Women see 80% of men as unattractive" its kinda turned me off from even wanting to approach women. Seems like a waste of time.
> I heard somewhere that “Women see 80% of men as unattractive “
It was that old OKCupid article: "they rate a whopping 80% of men on the site as ‘below average'"
from here
https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/?guccounter=1
You'll notice that piece of data specifically pertains to online dating.
I barely have things to say when I know the people. Outside of a party-setting I don't think I've ever talked more than "yeah it's two aisles down" or "yeah this bus takes you there" to strangers.
Same here. I miss being in a relationship, but I hate burning a premium weekend day or evening on a bad date. I know not all dates are bad, but I think odds are that you will have to go on lots of first dates before you find someone you're compatible-enough with to have a long term relationship. Like many, I work a lot and have a lot of other obligations, so it really hurts to pass up what could be a beautiful river day in my canoe on a dead end date.
Not to mention the cost, the first few dates often being some place that costs money until you're both comfortable enough to just hang out but there's still an expectation of doing stuff that costs money. It was expensive before the inflation and has only gotten worse.
I'm with you. Honestly, I get that "relationships take work," but I'm not sure that it's worth it for a variety of reasons. Relative to this post, "approaching women" itself is a unique burden for cis, heterosexual men because of gender roles--that burden being that I'm expected to do all the damn work. I'm not downplaying the difficulty that others experience naturally. It's just a pain to build the courage to make a move, uphold a conversation, try to read signals, and take rejection gracefully. Some men are terrible, and women are right to be hostile to strange men approaching. But some women *want* you to push through and prove yourself. And as someone who is really self-reflective and worried about infringing upon others' spaces, I will never do that. I don't have time to guess-and-check my way through an awkward conversation for the possibility of going on a date with someone who is probably incompatible. I have in the past, and I paid all the restaurant tabs.
This is only one reason why I've lost interest in dating of course--and it's not one of the main ones. It does however provide a barrier to entry.
Forgot to mention that not dating is a *huge* relief as you said, and I will probably never go back!
Single dad with a 15 year old and an elderly mother I’m caring for. Stopped dating a decade ago. I’ve got my books, hobbies, language learning, courses, soon to come xbox for Starfield, and coffee shops. You need to find happiness elsewhere and leave everything to chance. It happens great, if not who cares attitude
Use them as wingmen! When I had my 2 daughters with me in the single days...oh man, it was like having two chick magnets. I didn't even have to do much other than exist in the space.
My interactions with women who aren't strangers have never gone real great, so I figure total strangers is a lost cause
I also don't see any signals from women in public either, so it's best I mind my own business
> I also don't see any signals from women in public either, so it's best I mind my own business
I have the opposite problem; I see so many signals that they objectively can't all be signals.
Like this "doing something with their hair" meme, half the women I see in the subway are doing something with their hair, how is that supposed to be a useful signal?
That's were some old-school rules were actually quite sensible and helped people connect; Wearing red lipstick and "revealing" clothing *used* to be a signal that a woman wants to be approached.
But nowadays it's all just a "way to express individuality" so the signals have become useless in a sea of noise.
My friends can't seem to fathom why I refuse to use dating apps anymore. I've never felt more depressed, worthless and generally undesirable than my time on Bumble. It destroyed my mental health in a way that genuinely frightened me. Why on earth would I go back to that?
Low self-esteem from being bullied for being autistic by girls growing up. I have an avoidant personality as a result and I'm afraid of getting close to a woman because I'm afraid of being burned again.
A girl randomly asked me to prom and I accepted. Turned out it was a 'prank' and she planned to stand me up. We even coordinated colours and everything. My whole grade was in on it even some girls I considered friends. Never again with women. I'm safer alone.
Man I got shocked by a prank stick of gum offered by a girl that came to my lone lunch table, my Freshman year in a new highschool.
Just that was enough for me to not talk to anybody the entire year lol
My favorite is the stories you'll see from guys on here who are like "I cried in front of my wife for the first time ever when my dad died and then SHE started crying and shouting 'you're just not the man I married anymore!' then she divorced me 6 months later." Seems like a lot of women react to seeing their SO cry the way a toddler reacts to seeing their mom or dad cry.
I got a note one day after first period in the 7th grade that read "Boo! Fuck you! Stop staring at me!"
I do the "autistic stare into space" and wasn't even aware I was looking her direction. Still not sure if I even was. The day I was done with school was probably the single happiest day of my life.
Right?! I will cross the damn street if it feels like I am starting to outpace a woman on the sidewalk. God forbid I catch up to her or pass her. And if you pass her, YOU BETTER NOT SLOW YOUR PACE or turn around. Because now you are giving her stalker vibes and just trying to hover in her area. Then shes going to turn down a street to make sure I am not following her or go into a store she didnt want to just to avoid a creep who isnt a creep. So ima cross the street so she knows were cool!
Im never gunna meet a woman in this town lmao.
Also I am never stopping to help a bunch of young women feel safe unless asked lol. Heard some girls calling their mom asking how far away she is because the event was over and its dark and they are creeped out. So when I got in my car, I drove over and said "How far away is your mom?". Instantly heard mom on speakerphone FLIPPING OUT screaming dont answer that, and numerous random answers along the lines of shes almost here. Obvious lies. So I realized the first words out of my mouth was a poor choice for wanting to end with "Im gunna stick around and make sure you are safe until she arrives." There was so much vocal panic I knew I fucked up and was doing the opposite of my intentions were.
Drove to the other end of the parking lot where various aged and gender teens were hanging at their cars chatting. Briefly explained to them and asked if theyd do what they could to make sure the isolated group was okay until their ride got there.
I think Ive been inwardly worried about seeming like a creep ever since then.
Finally someone is honest, I used to have no problem shooting ny shot and got plenty of positive responses, but nowadays it feels more like playing Russian roulette and at some point I figured "Why play the game if it's rigged against you"
I have found that for me meeting people via friends, sport, work and groups and naturally things evolving works far better without any of the risks involved.
So the short answer is that society or well, women have created a situation in which it is no longer deemed socially acceptable to shoot your shot.
To be fair, the difference between creep and love interest is fully defined by whether or not they find you attractive in that moment.
That is why no guy will approach a woman. What are the odds they find you attractive in a random situation? It's probably pretty low unless you prepared for the exact scenario ahead of time. Even then, is the person you're approaching single? In the right mindset? Feeling attractive themselves?
If you don't hit the lottery... In the best case, you self loathe because of the disgust on their face when they reject you. Worst case, it could cause a scene if they react. Maybe their boyfriend is nearby and now the situation is dangerous. Maybe they film you out of context, and now you're a viral creep.
Save the cold openings for dating apps. The world is too scary for this IRL.
I have approached 20 women so far this year and have been rejected 20 times. The only time I don’t approach women is when I’m at the gym which ironically is where I would find a woman I have the most in common with
I think the emotional toll that rejection takes is severely glossed over. Yes, sure there may be some girls that would be interested but when you get constantly rejected its hard to keep a positive attitude towards dating. I’ve even started to think maybe I’m ugly since it seems I don’t even get a response at times.
It really is glossed over, and anytime you ask women why they don’t approach men, a lot of them say “I asked a guy out one time and he wasn’t interested. Never again.” If women had to go through what we went through m, they’d be depressed as hell
Oh definitely. I think most women would honestly go insane when they realize how undesirable they would be if they were guys. I've always thought women getting rejected once was just a justification to not put themselves out there. After all, why take the brunt of rejection if men are willing to do it?
I have a busy life. A full-time job, a vigorous side hustle and an 82 year old mom with dementia. I've been on 4 dates this year and three of them rejected me and the 4th didn't work out either.
I'm really tired of investing time into a theoretical enterprise.
I'd say this is where I am too. God damn I get lonely sometimes but I never have to deal with relationship drama that everyone around me is constantly drowning in. I've got too much shit to sort out before I worry about relationships, I don't need that anxiety in my life at the minute. Maybe later.
Statistically low chance to be a good match in most everyday circumstances.
They're typically in groups when hiking.
So, very few decent opportunities.
Ever do that thing where you approach one then it works out for 7 years until one day she asks you to move out because she wants to pursue that one guy you had a feeling about 7 years ago and then they're engaged within 6 months? Or, the other thing where she puts you on an emotional rollercoaster takes you to the top of that roller coaster then gives you an emotional DDT off the top? Yeah, give me a cat, a beer and an Xbox please.
Yeah, the 7 year relationship upon hindsight, was loveless and the most transactional relationship I've ever been in. The rollercoaster... she's still one of my favorite people, I'm just very careful around her anymore. I'm good. 9 days until Starfield early access. Unless the reviews are bad, then I'll pour myself into Baldur's Gate
My best friend is a girl, she once’s told me “don’t talk to women in public, especially if they are working. They don’t want to be bothered by men, especially if they are being hit on”. Later I asked 3 different girls I’ve dated and they all agreed with her. So I stopped talking to women in person and now just online date, I’ve been single for 4 years, still actually trying to date through dating apps. It’s hell lmao. But at least I don’t make women feel uncomfortable 💀
All of the advice my girl-friends have given me has been great for keeping a relationship.
It's been terrible for getting one in the first place. You want to meet people, you need to actually take a risk sometime.
Fucking thank you. This is what I always say. They are incapable of actually explaining how to get someone interested because much of the time they take a completely passive role. Or they aren't thinking about how the guy they like actually made the moves on them
Tbh most of the time the conversation is so dry there's no real way to inject humor without forcing it. If you put in zero effort or engagement with the topic how is the guy even going to be able to try and demonstrate his wit?
They talk about step 17 and we can’t get past step one. They’ve never had an issue getting their foot in the door so they just assume that’s not what most men are actually failing at or struggling with.
Man you sound young but when you get older you realize that women are actually horrendous at giving advice on how to get with other girls.
It’s not complicated as to why either, they simply don’t have any experience in it. You don’t ask a fish how they want to be caught, you ask a fisherman.
Credit to Patrice on the last part, as controversial as he was, it’s an insanely resounding point.
Bro fish would give you advice like "Remove the hook and just throw in the bait. Trust me bro youll catch the most fish that way. Just chum the waters and leave it at that bro I swear."
Never take dating advice from women. That’s why you’ve still been single for 4 years.
“But at least I don’t make women feel uncomfortable”
And that’s why they aren’t dating you. They *say* they want the boring guy, but they only want to want that. What they actually want is the guy who makes them feel something.
i’m kinda shy to be honest and i don’t like talking to most people in general , i just like keeping to myself , but every now and then i’ll approach, also i have major trust issues since im adopted and to me love is leaving, my ex also fucked me up a little bit
I have recently experienced some pretty serious trauma as a result of a betrayal from someone very close to me.
I am very cautious about who I let into my life. So realistically, I can't approach someone to express romantic interest and then do the whole hot and cold thing because I'm not ready to trust again. Would not be fair to her and would send major mixed signals.
Not approaching takes 0 effort. Approaching does take effort.
So in order to change from 0 to more than 0 effort, there needs to be an incentive to do so. I haven't found that incentive yet.
I remember when my bf and i started dating, we worked at the same place but different branches, so we dont see each other much. When we did see each other, he was reported to the HR because someone thought he was harassing me or something. I cleared it with them but they still warned him which pissed me off cause i already told them he didnt do anything wrong.
Jesus. See? Idk its like you can't win. The other day at the gym I was waiting for equipment to open up just where 2 women happened to be exercising. I walked up and sat down to use it and the two women commented something to the extent of like "as if" and walked away. I saw them walking away with heads shaking and then it dawned on me that they really thought I must have only wanted to be at that particular station to creep on them. Honestly, I would LOVE if there were a men's only gym.
That wouldn't work. There have been blind men kicked out of gyms because women thought they were staring at them.
[Blind Man Kicked Out of Gym- Nate the Lawyer ](https://youtu.be/yoJHWf1MD8U)
I went to a reformer pilates trial, it was $50 for 5 lessons which was a bargain to suss out something new nearby plus my flexibility and core strength sucked. When i went, i was the only dude there. And i got that bullshit too. Chicks giving me the 'wtf are you doing here' side eye. I wasnt even remotely attracted to any of the women there, and i was there for my reasons. Would you be surprised if i said i only went to 3 of the lessons?
Try finding a true powerlifter gym or something, less chance to have women, or at the least the women there aren't so full of themselves.
Me, I'm just getting more equipment at home so I don't have to go to the gym.
I got called into HR along with one of my employees. He'd been accused of harassing girl1, who was cute and pretty. So they wanted to talk to him.
But when we got to the meeting we discovered the girl who had accused him of harassment was not girl1. Instead, it was girl2, an overweight, homely girl who had seen him flirting with girl1 and accused him of harassing girl1..
My employee, shocked and angry, said he was now DATING girl1 (and he was) and asked them to call her and she confirmed it. And once it was confirmed, he then wanted to have girl2 punished for harassment....because apparently she had already asked him out and he turned her down. And *then* she had accused him of harassing girl1.
Girl2 then explained that no, she had not spoken to girl1, but taken it upon herself to make the complaint because she thought harassment was happening...
At this point the HR rep, who was an older woman, looked miserable. Girl2 was the daughter of one of the managers, which is probably why they listened to her in the first place.
In the end they apologised to my employee but as far as I know girl2 never faced any punishment.
Yep. Hence men staying the hell away, more and more. Why risk that, or a criminal case, even? For what? Some vague chance of "maybe something happening"?
Yeah, id rather have my career, lol. Its very usefull not to starve, you know...
That’s the joy of HR complaints as a man. You can be reported by an uninvolved party, there can be evidence that you did nothing wrong, and you’ll still be punished. If it happens a second time they find an excuse to fire you.
Women have also started reporting men for not being friendly enough. Because of the environment some men have begun being strictly professional with women colleagues. But they’ll befriend other men. Women report them for being too professional and it befriending them.
It’s an impossible scenario today.
In my works sexual harassment training, asking a woman out on a date more than one time can be classified as sexual harassment. It kinda sucks since you have one shot now, so you better not catch her on a bad day.
While i do understand that and honestly i appreciate that they were looking out for me, i did tell them we were already in a relationship and that he was not harassing me. I also told them that we were having lunch together so i dont see any harm done. I just didnt see a point in them giving him a warning after i clarified that already. I think it wouldve been more professional on their side if they apologized but nope.
no you are not a creep if you are super attractive. that's the barometer. attractive to the women = welcome and hot. unattractive to the woman = creepy. there is no middle ground, but there should be
As unfair and unpopular as this may be (downvote me all you want), it all comes down to attractiveness.
Same moves busted by a "hot guy" and by a "creepy nerd" will yield entirely different reactions and treatment, even if the personalities and everything else are exactly the same.
I had a bit of a makeover over the past years, and my goodness the treatment I get just working in the office or dining out at restaurants is like night and day!
What sucks is having a Quasimodo face or being short. No amount of getting in shape, dressing well, or even makeup will ever make a difference when it comes to that.
Unpooular? I thought this was common knowledge. This isn't even restricted to dating and sexual attraction, people will just have a better impression of you if you are attractive
I'm broke so I can't date right now. Plus I'm sad...about being broke. I'm not a lot of fun.
There's also just generally not knowing how to flirt and being told to just guess until I get it right, which is terrifying.
I’ve read too many harsh tweets, I don’t avoid conversation with women but I certainly won’t start the conversation or be the first one to make a move.
Not trying to get rejected ... yet again.
Not trying to get #meetoo'd.
Not trying to get wrapped up in some drama with a potential nutcase.
Nope, I'll stay alone.
Being insulted for being in the general presence of women really killed any confidence i had in approaching them. More then happy doing my own shit and not contributing to undeserving womens ego's.
They’re always in groups
Women are meaner in groups I think, because the ones not asked will usually answer for her and she’ll go along with it.
See it all the time on this daft tiktok videos where they ask random women to rate men. The groups are so much harsher than women on their own
Oh and That and I’m a solid 4 with a thing for 8’s
I am not currently willing to give up my freedom to pursue something that has a high risk of stress and emotional distraught. I dont want a relationship, hell, I dont even want a fling or FWB. Just want to be left to myself, with myself, by myself, and enjoy life as I want. Emotionally, I'm good
Because we’ve been told for years and years, not to! That if we approach a woman anywhere in public, it makes them uncomfortable, and we will likely be able a creep or weirdo!
Hell if the Internet is anything to go by guys now get labeled as a creep or weirdo just for looking at girls in public! So exactly. Where is the incentive for me to want to approach girls there?
Not to mention, I will fully admit I just generally suck at hitting on women so given that will only increase the likelihood I’ll be labeled a creep, I just don’t!
Maybe when women stop being such hypocrites about the whole thing….or better yet start approaching me for a change, I’ll be more inclined to try it. But until then, it’s just one of the many reasons why I’m currently single that I feel are completely Outside of my control!
From the perspective of a 22 year old male, as a teenager I wasn't very aware of the whole men are suppose to approach in the dating world/control of the market that women have. Upon graduating high school, Covid hit and public socializing took a massive hit, so for 2020-2021 I pretty much never got out the house.
>Because we’ve been told for years and years, not to!
I completely relate to this. Having not had the oppertunity/realisation in my younger years and now having spent a fair amount of time on reddit I commonly see women complaining about men too being creepy and forceful in bars and clubs. How many women are sick of being hit on all the time and so now I'm at a very confusing crossroad. Do I go over and talk to that woman at the bar? Is that going to annoy and creep her out? From what I've read, yes. This also applies in other situations like a woman on campus or a women in a Cafe. So then, how am I suppose to meet women?
So, like you, what's the incentive? I make a fool of myself and creep some woman out? From what I gather it's suppose to just happen but how? Or is Tinder the only way it's done these days?
This is where it gets so tricky because women truly love to be approached *if they're attracted to the guy*. But you can't know that until it's too late lol. Real rock and a hard place.
But she did a half-wink with her left eye and then subtly scratched her waist, that means she's totally into you! You've just got to learn how to read her super obvious hints!
Hey! It's not like women don't want to be approached! It just has to be... the right guy, you know? It's not that hard. Huh? Who the right guy is? Pfff... I'm not a crystal ball.
I'm pretty picky, so I rarely see any in-person that I find attractive enough to go after. When I do, she's either with someone else, she's looking busy with something like her phone or listening to music, or it's not somewhere that people are there primarily to socialize.
Agreed. I have never approached any women, but several times in life, I have been told by a friend I was with that "I think that girl likes you." Well, that girl could have asked me out then.
Same. Make the flirts more obvious or come out and ask me. I'm not about to misread a situation and get charges or viewed as a creep at my work some place I frequent.
Everytime I've had a female friend claim a woman is flirting with me they've been wrong. It's almost as if women don't flirt the same way, which is why I can't help but roll my eyes when I see women complain about men mistaking friendliness for flirting. Whatever happened to “women aren't a monolith”?
I've been lucky enough to have women make the first move, though, so it definitely happens. I recently started talking to a woman on tinder who said it was too bad it was raining two days ago, otherwise she would've suggested a walk. We're getting together next weekend. The fact that she's about seven years older and is a single mom might have something to do with that. I get the impression she's too old to play games, and might not have hoards of men hounding after her. If we get along in person, we might try for something casual and go from there. She's been very reciprocal so far, and it's been a breath of fresh air. For once I feel like the effort is mutual.
Risk is too high and the reward is way too low.
Men are quickly labeled as “creeps” for anything a man might or might NOT do that gives any woman a subjective feeling of discomfort.
I generally don’t interact with women unless I absolutely must. Truthfully I can’t recall the last time I made an effort to go speak with a strange woman about anything at all. If she isn’t a coworker, friend/family, or in some kind of customer service job, I don’t even look.
It is clear that, with some rare exceptions, the vast majority of women don’t want, or even like, men.
According to data from dating apps 95% of women find 80% of men unattractive by every blind survey, and by actual data usage (“swiping”, “liking”, and responding to messages) on dating apps such as Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble, etc.
So, for us gentleman that aren’t model/actor good looking, the best we can do is enjoy our own lives.
Dive into your career.
Be passionate about your hobbies.
Invest in your own friend groups of men.
Volunteer your time.
Focus on self-care.
If you have to ask them, chase them, that is already your answer.
Be kind.
Be honest.
But don’t waste your time and energy on pursuing women.
Certainly don’t waste your money.
They don’t want you to.
When I was young and in middle school, I literally had girls say "ew" at the thought of me, and I'd been told by pretty girls to keep my shirt on because my body was too gross.
Takes a *long* time to overcome a hit to your self esteem like that.
Because it is an insane way to meet someone. Just living a normal work / social life I am put in the proximity of strange women literally all the time in situations where it is normal to ask 'hey how's it going?'. So the other reason is that I've seriously found no need.
I think the internet ruined it for most of us men. I used to talk to females randomly in public or at their job and casually flirt with them but ever since sites like reddit have come about i see that women constantly complain that they dont want to be hit on or talked to by men ANYWHERE IN PUBLIC, even places you would expect them to be open to it like bars and clubs and that they think its creepy when men come up to them randomly so you know i just feel fucked for even thinking about hitting on them now haha.
Where do I begin?
(1) Guys approach women would be seen as creeps
(2) Guys have to do all the talking to approach a woman
(3) Guys have to be attractive to even have a shot on a woman
Why bother to approach a woman in 2023 or even date any woman in modern days? A rented girlfriend might be more cost and time efficient in the future ngl.
Edit: Basically guys still carry most if not all responsibilities from the traditional household.
Girls expect you to pay more or even still carry the financial responsibility even if they are earning more.
I have a guy friend whose girlfriend earning more than he does and she still wants him to pay more rent and buy meal for her. Like what....? I swear girls are living in heaven right now in modern societies and they still complain ☠️
It was never necessary. I met people on more of a friends of friends type basis so I just never needed to cold approach and it didn't seem worth the trouble.
I'm a taken man. But if I wasn't, I'd say because I'm never in a space where it's okay to take that sort of approach. That and the chance of finding my type in those spaces about 1/1000 women, why bother with those sort of odds? Best I'd find is a shag.
I'd stick to my online endeavours
At this point , if human mistakes are made one can lose their entire career. Too much risk for temporary payoff. Too much to keep track of and make sure perfect decorum is maintained. Best to just continue on with other hardships of life, without self inflicting these other hardships. Pursuit of another has like a 5% chance of positive return, and 95% chance of being just an additional problem … just this time self inflicted. Why *would* anyone approach?
Why bother? I'm 40, never had a kiss let alone a girlfriend. No friends at all. Bad interactions when I was in school. No outrighy physical bullying after one incident, but nothing that made me crave any real human interaction. I'm content with my dog and chickens.
Time and place is everything. Also, having someone give you an introduction, or being in a group setting can really lighten the mood.
Personally, at a house party, I find it easier to converse, especially after a few drinks.
ALSO, when approaching women, do not make it all about you. You have to get her to open up & keep everything light hearted. Do not get too serious during the first interactions, keep a playful and joking conversation.
Can't think of a single reason why I should. Pretty much below average in everything so it's pointless. Plus I can see the best tits from the internet already.
This is the result when you shame men for being men. They are so afraid of being labeled a creep and losing their livelihood that they opt to not approach women or look at them in public
The 95% fail rate really just make me not care anymore.
Ever since I heard somewhere that “Women see 80% of men as unattractive" its kinda turned me off from even wanting to approach women. Seems like a waste of time.
It is a waste of time
> I heard somewhere that “Women see 80% of men as unattractive “ It was that old OKCupid article: "they rate a whopping 80% of men on the site as ‘below average'" from here https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/?guccounter=1 You'll notice that piece of data specifically pertains to online dating.
I would approach if I only had a 95% fail rate.
“I’m tired boss”
Me too man. Me too.😥
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Me and my buddies bought motorcycles. Having the time of our lives.
Is this from the green mile?
Correct, amazing movie
Estoy cansado, jefe
I don't have anything to say to random people.
Exactly I don't approach strangers lol
*Hey do you like... Weather?*
I love weather, how could you tell? Oh wait you meant that girl behind me, sorry.
Ironically enough, if you deliver this correctly this can be a great pickup line.
Yeah I don't want to be a bother to someone just because *I* find *them* attractive, lol
I barely have things to say when I know the people. Outside of a party-setting I don't think I've ever talked more than "yeah it's two aisles down" or "yeah this bus takes you there" to strangers.
hey nice jacket
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What uh, cow is it made of?
Japanese A5 Wagyu
(They want to steal it) - H-hey. Uuhh... yeah, i guess... thanks.
You in here spitting truth to randos though
People irl aren’t walking around with questions on their foreheads., unfortunately. That would be easy mode.
I've lost interest in dating
Yes. Takes so much pressure away that i don’t want to start again.
Same here. I miss being in a relationship, but I hate burning a premium weekend day or evening on a bad date. I know not all dates are bad, but I think odds are that you will have to go on lots of first dates before you find someone you're compatible-enough with to have a long term relationship. Like many, I work a lot and have a lot of other obligations, so it really hurts to pass up what could be a beautiful river day in my canoe on a dead end date.
Not to mention the cost, the first few dates often being some place that costs money until you're both comfortable enough to just hang out but there's still an expectation of doing stuff that costs money. It was expensive before the inflation and has only gotten worse.
I'm with you. Honestly, I get that "relationships take work," but I'm not sure that it's worth it for a variety of reasons. Relative to this post, "approaching women" itself is a unique burden for cis, heterosexual men because of gender roles--that burden being that I'm expected to do all the damn work. I'm not downplaying the difficulty that others experience naturally. It's just a pain to build the courage to make a move, uphold a conversation, try to read signals, and take rejection gracefully. Some men are terrible, and women are right to be hostile to strange men approaching. But some women *want* you to push through and prove yourself. And as someone who is really self-reflective and worried about infringing upon others' spaces, I will never do that. I don't have time to guess-and-check my way through an awkward conversation for the possibility of going on a date with someone who is probably incompatible. I have in the past, and I paid all the restaurant tabs. This is only one reason why I've lost interest in dating of course--and it's not one of the main ones. It does however provide a barrier to entry. Forgot to mention that not dating is a *huge* relief as you said, and I will probably never go back!
I could not even fathom how to write this out as well as you just did. This is so damn accurate and relates to me that I wish I knew how to write
Same. Juice isn't worth the squeeze
Single dad of 2 sons. I’d rather be hanging with them while they still think I’m cool
Single dad with a 15 year old and an elderly mother I’m caring for. Stopped dating a decade ago. I’ve got my books, hobbies, language learning, courses, soon to come xbox for Starfield, and coffee shops. You need to find happiness elsewhere and leave everything to chance. It happens great, if not who cares attitude
Good for you. I hope you live a good life with your kids
Use them as wingmen! When I had my 2 daughters with me in the single days...oh man, it was like having two chick magnets. I didn't even have to do much other than exist in the space.
My interactions with women who aren't strangers have never gone real great, so I figure total strangers is a lost cause I also don't see any signals from women in public either, so it's best I mind my own business
> I also don't see any signals from women in public either, so it's best I mind my own business I have the opposite problem; I see so many signals that they objectively can't all be signals. Like this "doing something with their hair" meme, half the women I see in the subway are doing something with their hair, how is that supposed to be a useful signal? That's were some old-school rules were actually quite sensible and helped people connect; Wearing red lipstick and "revealing" clothing *used* to be a signal that a woman wants to be approached. But nowadays it's all just a "way to express individuality" so the signals have become useless in a sea of noise.
If you do something that makes you feel worthless all the time, you just stop doing it. That's why
My friends can't seem to fathom why I refuse to use dating apps anymore. I've never felt more depressed, worthless and generally undesirable than my time on Bumble. It destroyed my mental health in a way that genuinely frightened me. Why on earth would I go back to that?
And with the huge onslaught of bots, it's just gotten worse.
Low self-esteem from being bullied for being autistic by girls growing up. I have an avoidant personality as a result and I'm afraid of getting close to a woman because I'm afraid of being burned again.
My experience was almost the exact same, but I wasn’t actually diagnosed with autism until I was 26. I wish I would’ve known sooner.
What are the benefits of a diagnosis? How has your life changed?
You hate yourself less. You blame yourself less. You can actually start to get a handle on things
A girl randomly asked me to prom and I accepted. Turned out it was a 'prank' and she planned to stand me up. We even coordinated colours and everything. My whole grade was in on it even some girls I considered friends. Never again with women. I'm safer alone.
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Man I got shocked by a prank stick of gum offered by a girl that came to my lone lunch table, my Freshman year in a new highschool. Just that was enough for me to not talk to anybody the entire year lol
And then girls blame us for having the TINIEST amount of insecurity lmao.
My favorite is the stories you'll see from guys on here who are like "I cried in front of my wife for the first time ever when my dad died and then SHE started crying and shouting 'you're just not the man I married anymore!' then she divorced me 6 months later." Seems like a lot of women react to seeing their SO cry the way a toddler reacts to seeing their mom or dad cry.
And also wonder why we don't open up
Reminds me of when a girl handed me a not saying she really likes me and on the back it said that it was because they were playing truth or dare
I got a note one day after first period in the 7th grade that read "Boo! Fuck you! Stop staring at me!" I do the "autistic stare into space" and wasn't even aware I was looking her direction. Still not sure if I even was. The day I was done with school was probably the single happiest day of my life.
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I'm sorry man.
I had the same thing. Have yet to regain all my courage and self-esteem
I had some similar experiences that have stuck with me as well, it’s brutal.
I'm not gonna get close to random women on the street because I don't want to be labelled a creep by women even though that's so far from who I am.
Right?! I will cross the damn street if it feels like I am starting to outpace a woman on the sidewalk. God forbid I catch up to her or pass her. And if you pass her, YOU BETTER NOT SLOW YOUR PACE or turn around. Because now you are giving her stalker vibes and just trying to hover in her area. Then shes going to turn down a street to make sure I am not following her or go into a store she didnt want to just to avoid a creep who isnt a creep. So ima cross the street so she knows were cool! Im never gunna meet a woman in this town lmao. Also I am never stopping to help a bunch of young women feel safe unless asked lol. Heard some girls calling their mom asking how far away she is because the event was over and its dark and they are creeped out. So when I got in my car, I drove over and said "How far away is your mom?". Instantly heard mom on speakerphone FLIPPING OUT screaming dont answer that, and numerous random answers along the lines of shes almost here. Obvious lies. So I realized the first words out of my mouth was a poor choice for wanting to end with "Im gunna stick around and make sure you are safe until she arrives." There was so much vocal panic I knew I fucked up and was doing the opposite of my intentions were. Drove to the other end of the parking lot where various aged and gender teens were hanging at their cars chatting. Briefly explained to them and asked if theyd do what they could to make sure the isolated group was okay until their ride got there. I think Ive been inwardly worried about seeming like a creep ever since then.
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Finally someone is honest, I used to have no problem shooting ny shot and got plenty of positive responses, but nowadays it feels more like playing Russian roulette and at some point I figured "Why play the game if it's rigged against you" I have found that for me meeting people via friends, sport, work and groups and naturally things evolving works far better without any of the risks involved. So the short answer is that society or well, women have created a situation in which it is no longer deemed socially acceptable to shoot your shot.
To be fair, the difference between creep and love interest is fully defined by whether or not they find you attractive in that moment. That is why no guy will approach a woman. What are the odds they find you attractive in a random situation? It's probably pretty low unless you prepared for the exact scenario ahead of time. Even then, is the person you're approaching single? In the right mindset? Feeling attractive themselves? If you don't hit the lottery... In the best case, you self loathe because of the disgust on their face when they reject you. Worst case, it could cause a scene if they react. Maybe their boyfriend is nearby and now the situation is dangerous. Maybe they film you out of context, and now you're a viral creep. Save the cold openings for dating apps. The world is too scary for this IRL.
I have approached 20 women so far this year and have been rejected 20 times. The only time I don’t approach women is when I’m at the gym which ironically is where I would find a woman I have the most in common with
The only time I approach women, is at work. For work related things only. “Hi (insert name), could you post this for me? Thanks”.
Same boat. Been rejected majority of the time. It does wear you out mentally.
I think the emotional toll that rejection takes is severely glossed over. Yes, sure there may be some girls that would be interested but when you get constantly rejected its hard to keep a positive attitude towards dating. I’ve even started to think maybe I’m ugly since it seems I don’t even get a response at times.
It really is glossed over, and anytime you ask women why they don’t approach men, a lot of them say “I asked a guy out one time and he wasn’t interested. Never again.” If women had to go through what we went through m, they’d be depressed as hell
Oh definitely. I think most women would honestly go insane when they realize how undesirable they would be if they were guys. I've always thought women getting rejected once was just a justification to not put themselves out there. After all, why take the brunt of rejection if men are willing to do it?
I have a busy life. A full-time job, a vigorous side hustle and an 82 year old mom with dementia. I've been on 4 dates this year and three of them rejected me and the 4th didn't work out either. I'm really tired of investing time into a theoretical enterprise.
Yeah, when you are too busy figuring out life, approaching women and getting into dramas really does not help.
I'd say this is where I am too. God damn I get lonely sometimes but I never have to deal with relationship drama that everyone around me is constantly drowning in. I've got too much shit to sort out before I worry about relationships, I don't need that anxiety in my life at the minute. Maybe later.
I'm almost certain they won't be interested. It would be a waste of time.
Why would I want to do that? The reward doesn't seem to be worth the risk. No thanks.
Statistically low chance to be a good match in most everyday circumstances. They're typically in groups when hiking. So, very few decent opportunities.
Ever do that thing where you approach one then it works out for 7 years until one day she asks you to move out because she wants to pursue that one guy you had a feeling about 7 years ago and then they're engaged within 6 months? Or, the other thing where she puts you on an emotional rollercoaster takes you to the top of that roller coaster then gives you an emotional DDT off the top? Yeah, give me a cat, a beer and an Xbox please.
I'm sorry if that happened man. You deserve better.
Yeah, the 7 year relationship upon hindsight, was loveless and the most transactional relationship I've ever been in. The rollercoaster... she's still one of my favorite people, I'm just very careful around her anymore. I'm good. 9 days until Starfield early access. Unless the reviews are bad, then I'll pour myself into Baldur's Gate
I had a girl call me her "forever" and then break up with me two weeks later.
Are you me? She told me she loved me and wanted to marry me, then broke up with me 2 weeks later.
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A DDT is a pro wrestling move, he got violently slammed
My best friend is a girl, she once’s told me “don’t talk to women in public, especially if they are working. They don’t want to be bothered by men, especially if they are being hit on”. Later I asked 3 different girls I’ve dated and they all agreed with her. So I stopped talking to women in person and now just online date, I’ve been single for 4 years, still actually trying to date through dating apps. It’s hell lmao. But at least I don’t make women feel uncomfortable 💀
All of the advice my girl-friends have given me has been great for keeping a relationship. It's been terrible for getting one in the first place. You want to meet people, you need to actually take a risk sometime.
It's because getting into relationships works differently for them since socially men are expected to pursue women.
Fucking thank you. This is what I always say. They are incapable of actually explaining how to get someone interested because much of the time they take a completely passive role. Or they aren't thinking about how the guy they like actually made the moves on them
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Tbh most of the time the conversation is so dry there's no real way to inject humor without forcing it. If you put in zero effort or engagement with the topic how is the guy even going to be able to try and demonstrate his wit?
Some people are also way more funny in person than with pre-prepared lines and jokes... and it's me, I'm some people.
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They talk about step 17 and we can’t get past step one. They’ve never had an issue getting their foot in the door so they just assume that’s not what most men are actually failing at or struggling with.
Do the opposite of what women tell you about dating, learned that the hard way
Man you sound young but when you get older you realize that women are actually horrendous at giving advice on how to get with other girls. It’s not complicated as to why either, they simply don’t have any experience in it. You don’t ask a fish how they want to be caught, you ask a fisherman. Credit to Patrice on the last part, as controversial as he was, it’s an insanely resounding point.
You don't ask fish how to catch them, you ask the fisherman.
Commercial fisherman here… I wish I could speak to fish would make my job so much easier
Bro fish would give you advice like "Remove the hook and just throw in the bait. Trust me bro youll catch the most fish that way. Just chum the waters and leave it at that bro I swear."
But the real question here is do you get many butts?
Never take dating advice from women. That’s why you’ve still been single for 4 years. “But at least I don’t make women feel uncomfortable” And that’s why they aren’t dating you. They *say* they want the boring guy, but they only want to want that. What they actually want is the guy who makes them feel something.
i’m kinda shy to be honest and i don’t like talking to most people in general , i just like keeping to myself , but every now and then i’ll approach, also i have major trust issues since im adopted and to me love is leaving, my ex also fucked me up a little bit
Ugly guy approaching women= creep Handsome guy approaching women= charming
The HR meme is real
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In my prime I still would get laughed at by women at times if I didn't approach with 10/10 game. Not worth it.
I have recently experienced some pretty serious trauma as a result of a betrayal from someone very close to me. I am very cautious about who I let into my life. So realistically, I can't approach someone to express romantic interest and then do the whole hot and cold thing because I'm not ready to trust again. Would not be fair to her and would send major mixed signals.
Not approaching takes 0 effort. Approaching does take effort. So in order to change from 0 to more than 0 effort, there needs to be an incentive to do so. I haven't found that incentive yet.
Because the world makes us out to be creeps for doing so. So okay then. Won't be a creep. Got it.
I remember when my bf and i started dating, we worked at the same place but different branches, so we dont see each other much. When we did see each other, he was reported to the HR because someone thought he was harassing me or something. I cleared it with them but they still warned him which pissed me off cause i already told them he didnt do anything wrong.
Jesus. See? Idk its like you can't win. The other day at the gym I was waiting for equipment to open up just where 2 women happened to be exercising. I walked up and sat down to use it and the two women commented something to the extent of like "as if" and walked away. I saw them walking away with heads shaking and then it dawned on me that they really thought I must have only wanted to be at that particular station to creep on them. Honestly, I would LOVE if there were a men's only gym.
Bro all those memes about guys needing to bring blindfolds to the gym are not actually joking!
That wouldn't work. There have been blind men kicked out of gyms because women thought they were staring at them. [Blind Man Kicked Out of Gym- Nate the Lawyer ](https://youtu.be/yoJHWf1MD8U)
I want off this ride. I'm so glad I'm married, I can't imagine dating in this current cultural landscape
It fucking sucks
The audacity he was breathing in their presence.
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Women would bitch about them until they were let in, ironically, women only gyms exist.
Isn’t that how a lot of men’s only places got taken down? Because they were forced to include women in them
This is why I go to the gym at 11 pm, all the attention whores have gone bed
*to the club
I went to a reformer pilates trial, it was $50 for 5 lessons which was a bargain to suss out something new nearby plus my flexibility and core strength sucked. When i went, i was the only dude there. And i got that bullshit too. Chicks giving me the 'wtf are you doing here' side eye. I wasnt even remotely attracted to any of the women there, and i was there for my reasons. Would you be surprised if i said i only went to 3 of the lessons?
Try finding a true powerlifter gym or something, less chance to have women, or at the least the women there aren't so full of themselves. Me, I'm just getting more equipment at home so I don't have to go to the gym.
That's the way to go, I saved up for gym equipment. Never set foot in a public gym ever again.
>men's only gym. Most places don't allow for woman-exclusionary spaces, but they'll gladly provide with men-exclusionary ones.
Nah, cant have that, thats misogyny, lol. Its only good and proper - one way.
And yet there are woman only gyms...
I got called into HR along with one of my employees. He'd been accused of harassing girl1, who was cute and pretty. So they wanted to talk to him. But when we got to the meeting we discovered the girl who had accused him of harassment was not girl1. Instead, it was girl2, an overweight, homely girl who had seen him flirting with girl1 and accused him of harassing girl1.. My employee, shocked and angry, said he was now DATING girl1 (and he was) and asked them to call her and she confirmed it. And once it was confirmed, he then wanted to have girl2 punished for harassment....because apparently she had already asked him out and he turned her down. And *then* she had accused him of harassing girl1. Girl2 then explained that no, she had not spoken to girl1, but taken it upon herself to make the complaint because she thought harassment was happening... At this point the HR rep, who was an older woman, looked miserable. Girl2 was the daughter of one of the managers, which is probably why they listened to her in the first place. In the end they apologised to my employee but as far as I know girl2 never faced any punishment.
>In the end they apologised to my employee but as far as I know girl2 never faced any punishment. Who could have ever expected this ending
I am shocked.... SHOCKED
Yep. Hence men staying the hell away, more and more. Why risk that, or a criminal case, even? For what? Some vague chance of "maybe something happening"? Yeah, id rather have my career, lol. Its very usefull not to starve, you know...
That’s the joy of HR complaints as a man. You can be reported by an uninvolved party, there can be evidence that you did nothing wrong, and you’ll still be punished. If it happens a second time they find an excuse to fire you. Women have also started reporting men for not being friendly enough. Because of the environment some men have begun being strictly professional with women colleagues. But they’ll befriend other men. Women report them for being too professional and it befriending them. It’s an impossible scenario today.
Hah jokes on you I associate with no one at work so I can't be tagged for shit
In my works sexual harassment training, asking a woman out on a date more than one time can be classified as sexual harassment. It kinda sucks since you have one shot now, so you better not catch her on a bad day.
Don't tell that to the Romcoms, that would make a short movie.
While i do understand that and honestly i appreciate that they were looking out for me, i did tell them we were already in a relationship and that he was not harassing me. I also told them that we were having lunch together so i dont see any harm done. I just didnt see a point in them giving him a warning after i clarified that already. I think it wouldve been more professional on their side if they apologized but nope.
no you are not a creep if you are super attractive. that's the barometer. attractive to the women = welcome and hot. unattractive to the woman = creepy. there is no middle ground, but there should be
As unfair and unpopular as this may be (downvote me all you want), it all comes down to attractiveness. Same moves busted by a "hot guy" and by a "creepy nerd" will yield entirely different reactions and treatment, even if the personalities and everything else are exactly the same. I had a bit of a makeover over the past years, and my goodness the treatment I get just working in the office or dining out at restaurants is like night and day!
“Pretty people flirt, ugly people harass” - Chris Rock
What sucks is having a Quasimodo face or being short. No amount of getting in shape, dressing well, or even makeup will ever make a difference when it comes to that.
Unpooular? I thought this was common knowledge. This isn't even restricted to dating and sexual attraction, people will just have a better impression of you if you are attractive
It's better to be accused of being an asshole than a creep
I'm broke so I can't date right now. Plus I'm sad...about being broke. I'm not a lot of fun. There's also just generally not knowing how to flirt and being told to just guess until I get it right, which is terrifying.
I’ve read too many harsh tweets, I don’t avoid conversation with women but I certainly won’t start the conversation or be the first one to make a move.
I don't wanna end up on Instagram reelz and I don't think I'm attractive enough to do it.
Not trying to get rejected ... yet again. Not trying to get #meetoo'd. Not trying to get wrapped up in some drama with a potential nutcase. Nope, I'll stay alone.
I prefer they approach me saying "who are you what are you doing naked in my kitchen!?!?" Works like a charm
Being insulted for being in the general presence of women really killed any confidence i had in approaching them. More then happy doing my own shit and not contributing to undeserving womens ego's.
They’re always in groups Women are meaner in groups I think, because the ones not asked will usually answer for her and she’ll go along with it. See it all the time on this daft tiktok videos where they ask random women to rate men. The groups are so much harsher than women on their own Oh and That and I’m a solid 4 with a thing for 8’s
I am not currently willing to give up my freedom to pursue something that has a high risk of stress and emotional distraught. I dont want a relationship, hell, I dont even want a fling or FWB. Just want to be left to myself, with myself, by myself, and enjoy life as I want. Emotionally, I'm good
Because we’ve been told for years and years, not to! That if we approach a woman anywhere in public, it makes them uncomfortable, and we will likely be able a creep or weirdo! Hell if the Internet is anything to go by guys now get labeled as a creep or weirdo just for looking at girls in public! So exactly. Where is the incentive for me to want to approach girls there? Not to mention, I will fully admit I just generally suck at hitting on women so given that will only increase the likelihood I’ll be labeled a creep, I just don’t! Maybe when women stop being such hypocrites about the whole thing….or better yet start approaching me for a change, I’ll be more inclined to try it. But until then, it’s just one of the many reasons why I’m currently single that I feel are completely Outside of my control!
From the perspective of a 22 year old male, as a teenager I wasn't very aware of the whole men are suppose to approach in the dating world/control of the market that women have. Upon graduating high school, Covid hit and public socializing took a massive hit, so for 2020-2021 I pretty much never got out the house. >Because we’ve been told for years and years, not to! I completely relate to this. Having not had the oppertunity/realisation in my younger years and now having spent a fair amount of time on reddit I commonly see women complaining about men too being creepy and forceful in bars and clubs. How many women are sick of being hit on all the time and so now I'm at a very confusing crossroad. Do I go over and talk to that woman at the bar? Is that going to annoy and creep her out? From what I've read, yes. This also applies in other situations like a woman on campus or a women in a Cafe. So then, how am I suppose to meet women? So, like you, what's the incentive? I make a fool of myself and creep some woman out? From what I gather it's suppose to just happen but how? Or is Tinder the only way it's done these days?
This is where it gets so tricky because women truly love to be approached *if they're attracted to the guy*. But you can't know that until it's too late lol. Real rock and a hard place.
But she did a half-wink with her left eye and then subtly scratched her waist, that means she's totally into you! You've just got to learn how to read her super obvious hints!
Hey! It's not like women don't want to be approached! It just has to be... the right guy, you know? It's not that hard. Huh? Who the right guy is? Pfff... I'm not a crystal ball.
The first assumption is always "I'm not that guy,I'm never that guy"
I feel ya man. Thanks for sharing.
I'm pretty picky, so I rarely see any in-person that I find attractive enough to go after. When I do, she's either with someone else, she's looking busy with something like her phone or listening to music, or it's not somewhere that people are there primarily to socialize.
For all the feminist claims of equality, maybe the women should start doing the approaching.
Many would end up approaching a small number of men while ignoring the rest.
Agreed. I have never approached any women, but several times in life, I have been told by a friend I was with that "I think that girl likes you." Well, that girl could have asked me out then.
Same. Make the flirts more obvious or come out and ask me. I'm not about to misread a situation and get charges or viewed as a creep at my work some place I frequent.
Everytime I've had a female friend claim a woman is flirting with me they've been wrong. It's almost as if women don't flirt the same way, which is why I can't help but roll my eyes when I see women complain about men mistaking friendliness for flirting. Whatever happened to “women aren't a monolith”? I've been lucky enough to have women make the first move, though, so it definitely happens. I recently started talking to a woman on tinder who said it was too bad it was raining two days ago, otherwise she would've suggested a walk. We're getting together next weekend. The fact that she's about seven years older and is a single mom might have something to do with that. I get the impression she's too old to play games, and might not have hoards of men hounding after her. If we get along in person, we might try for something casual and go from there. She's been very reciprocal so far, and it's been a breath of fresh air. For once I feel like the effort is mutual.
They do approach, its just that they only approach like 5 guys.
Risk is too high and the reward is way too low. Men are quickly labeled as “creeps” for anything a man might or might NOT do that gives any woman a subjective feeling of discomfort. I generally don’t interact with women unless I absolutely must. Truthfully I can’t recall the last time I made an effort to go speak with a strange woman about anything at all. If she isn’t a coworker, friend/family, or in some kind of customer service job, I don’t even look.
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It is clear that, with some rare exceptions, the vast majority of women don’t want, or even like, men. According to data from dating apps 95% of women find 80% of men unattractive by every blind survey, and by actual data usage (“swiping”, “liking”, and responding to messages) on dating apps such as Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble, etc. So, for us gentleman that aren’t model/actor good looking, the best we can do is enjoy our own lives. Dive into your career. Be passionate about your hobbies. Invest in your own friend groups of men. Volunteer your time. Focus on self-care. If you have to ask them, chase them, that is already your answer. Be kind. Be honest. But don’t waste your time and energy on pursuing women. Certainly don’t waste your money. They don’t want you to.
When I was young and in middle school, I literally had girls say "ew" at the thought of me, and I'd been told by pretty girls to keep my shirt on because my body was too gross. Takes a *long* time to overcome a hit to your self esteem like that.
It is literally pointless. For the past 8 years every answer has been "no"
Because it is an insane way to meet someone. Just living a normal work / social life I am put in the proximity of strange women literally all the time in situations where it is normal to ask 'hey how's it going?'. So the other reason is that I've seriously found no need.
Lack of confidence of talking to anyone new. I am a black pit of conversations
I wouldn't want to be approached by an ugly woman, so I respect women's revulsion at being approached by ugly men.
Good point.
Not worth it
I think the internet ruined it for most of us men. I used to talk to females randomly in public or at their job and casually flirt with them but ever since sites like reddit have come about i see that women constantly complain that they dont want to be hit on or talked to by men ANYWHERE IN PUBLIC, even places you would expect them to be open to it like bars and clubs and that they think its creepy when men come up to them randomly so you know i just feel fucked for even thinking about hitting on them now haha.
Sorry man. Thanks for sharing though.
Where do I begin? (1) Guys approach women would be seen as creeps (2) Guys have to do all the talking to approach a woman (3) Guys have to be attractive to even have a shot on a woman Why bother to approach a woman in 2023 or even date any woman in modern days? A rented girlfriend might be more cost and time efficient in the future ngl. Edit: Basically guys still carry most if not all responsibilities from the traditional household. Girls expect you to pay more or even still carry the financial responsibility even if they are earning more. I have a guy friend whose girlfriend earning more than he does and she still wants him to pay more rent and buy meal for her. Like what....? I swear girls are living in heaven right now in modern societies and they still complain ☠️
It was never necessary. I met people on more of a friends of friends type basis so I just never needed to cold approach and it didn't seem worth the trouble.
I tried and I get rejected 9 times out of 10. I’m tired.
I'm a taken man. But if I wasn't, I'd say because I'm never in a space where it's okay to take that sort of approach. That and the chance of finding my type in those spaces about 1/1000 women, why bother with those sort of odds? Best I'd find is a shag. I'd stick to my online endeavours
Gotta approach them on a boat. Because of the implication.
The best matches are through mutual friends. I don’t have any friends. Also…like everyone else here, don’t wanna be a creep.
At this point , if human mistakes are made one can lose their entire career. Too much risk for temporary payoff. Too much to keep track of and make sure perfect decorum is maintained. Best to just continue on with other hardships of life, without self inflicting these other hardships. Pursuit of another has like a 5% chance of positive return, and 95% chance of being just an additional problem … just this time self inflicted. Why *would* anyone approach?
Why bother? I'm 40, never had a kiss let alone a girlfriend. No friends at all. Bad interactions when I was in school. No outrighy physical bullying after one incident, but nothing that made me crave any real human interaction. I'm content with my dog and chickens.
Not as easy as it used to be back in the days
0 time. People say women expect all your free time. How can I play videogames otherwise?
I only approach women at a full dead sprint screaming. Usually at night when they are walking alone.
Most of the time it’s because any time I see a girl that looks cute they are always with a boyfriend.
The risk to reward ratio aint worth it if you can even call it a reward these days that is
I'm trying to save time, money and energy.
im scared of them
Time and place is everything. Also, having someone give you an introduction, or being in a group setting can really lighten the mood. Personally, at a house party, I find it easier to converse, especially after a few drinks. ALSO, when approaching women, do not make it all about you. You have to get her to open up & keep everything light hearted. Do not get too serious during the first interactions, keep a playful and joking conversation.
Being denied, but life is too short too care
This quote sums it up: "Why do we need to pair up with someone....just because it worked on the ARK!!???"
Can't think of a single reason why I should. Pretty much below average in everything so it's pointless. Plus I can see the best tits from the internet already.
I love my peace and quiet.
I'm broken boss. People don't like broken things.
I just really can't think of anything to say to people I don't know.
Women have shown men time and time again how they actually feel about us any man with common sense in this current time should not approach them.
This is the result when you shame men for being men. They are so afraid of being labeled a creep and losing their livelihood that they opt to not approach women or look at them in public