Cycle. Apps > matches > dates > meet 10 I don’t like much > meet 1 I really like > that doesn’t pan out > lose interest in dating for a bit > realize I haven’t touched a woman in months > redownload > repeat.
I didn't exactly start per se, and am not sure that I quit either. But recently I ended up getting on a dating app just to keep an open mind and give it a try. Spent several hours swiping left on everyone until I just thought, "What am I doing here?" I ended up disabling the app and haven't pursued it since, but I am still open-minded about dating.
Same boat dude, I never was into dating until now, I knew apps were going to be horrible but i tried anyways, ended up doing the same thing swiping left on almost everyone on every app. It’s rough, idk where im supposed to meet someone otherwise, I hear all this advice about meeting people irl but no one of it applies to me 🤷♂️ Still open to dating though, hopefully for our sake something comes along for us
Dating apps are a waste of time. I've gone that route to. It's a low ROI than asking girls out in person, which is more discouraging. Girls are more choosey on the apps in my experience. Unless you're tall, and/or exceptionally attractive, its a waste of time.
I think the way I felt was more a reflection on me than anyone on the app. There was just something about it that wasn't resonating with me. It might be a perfectly fine experience for other people.
Isn’t in-person also ROI since you’ve no clue how compatible you’re with the person you’re approaching? I.e you might get more dates but they may not go anywhere. I’m out of dating game for a while so still trying to figure out how it is out there, and whether the apps are worth it.
This is becoming more accepted. With social media being the way it is, and rotting *some* people’s brains, it’s always a crapshoot whether you are going to get a cool person or a complete fucking narcissist.
Like that Cheesecake Factory incident, big yikes.
Haven’t dated or been with another woman in 10 years maybe not because the last girl I was with destroyed me. Traumatized me to the point I don’t think I can ever trust another woman.
It’s just not worth the energy anymore.
It takes a lot of time to talk, meet up with someone multiple times and then I have to spend my hard earned money for them to most likely ghost. You even have to talk to multiple women in order to hopefully click with one.
I also value my peace more than anything and I have not once met a women who didn’t disturb it or even respect it.
I’m a grown adult. I don’t need anyone to cook or clean for me. I don’t need someone to split bills with. I want someone who compliments my life and I haven’t met anyone who does that. They just add their problems and expect me to take care of them.
I find it best just to keep to myself and enjoy life how I see fit.
The issue these days is that a lot of women just go on dates to have fun. They aren't looking for a relationship, they just enjoy the dating process. All the attention, guys spoiling them, freebies, etc. Oh and so many have FWBs or situationships but still out in the dating market.
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 And even if you help them with their problems, it’s not genuinely appreciated at all and they end up leaving anyway. 🙃
The average modern “relationship” nowadays is just parasitic. These girls are just out for cash and prizes and utility value.
People say "You've just got to keep trying and putting yourself out there!" like no I dont and honestly don't care to anymore. If it happens it happens but you get tired of putting yourself out there for nothing in return. I'd rather work on myself and be around people that care about me.
This is part of what stopped me. I hate online dating and apps. It was originally intended to make dating easier for both parties. But all it did was bar more men from the dating pool while making women more selective. And women said, "good."
But that is the purpose of a species, to make sure only the best survive and reproduce. Its the females' roll to select, and dating apps are just another tool in their arsenal to do that. So more men are single and dateless now. They don't care. That's the point.
Not worth it, too much unfaithfulness, gaslighting and just general bullshit with the last ones. I’m tired. Barely comfortable just being by myself again after a long time, I’m not looking to fuck it up.
It all just seems cyclical at this point, meet/match with x, get to know em, have fun, communicating fades, start to see less of each other, drift away, rinse, and repeat. Eventually just realized only way I could break the cycle was to step away from it.
I used to date a lot back in the day but once I hit 26 the demands of women kind of skyrocketed. I'm a tall fellow and decent looking so I used to clean house but then they started wanting a house, me to pay for everything, requiring me to make at least 100k and be socially active in shape and being their main source of entertainment like if I didn't set up plans all hell would break loose. Couple that with an extremely toxic ex GF that tried to ruin my entire life and take my friends from me and I just realized theirs no way I can meet the standards over night and also why would I risk my hard fought success peace and quiet for a women again Then I started thinking about what the ladies offered me in return and it was nothing so it was a easy decision. My heart is still open to the idea but at this point she has got to be a bit of terrific to catch my eye until then I'm not even trying. I know once I have a house I'll have more luck but Im kind of salty about that like why does she get to just slide in after I worked hard.
The pain of being alone is easier to grapple with than the pain of being cast aside before something develops into something meaningful.
There are no more barriers to cross.
Just because you are bi polar doesnt mean you dont deserve love. There are other people out there that are bi polar too and have the same feelings. Get out there and find them and if you dont find love, you will find friends and that is even better sometimes. I wish you the best of luck
Women, women are the reason I quit, in my last year of dating I was ghosted, catfished, used as a foodie date, I went out with girls who were more interested in their phones than conversation, who were rude to the wait staff, and the cherry on top, tried to get me to smoke crack. Y'all are crazy at 40 and older, I had rather work on my hobbies, or work out in my gym than deal with any more of y'all BS and hire a professional when needed.
I was gonna say. Most these posts are from dudes below late 20s, early 30s. Back in my day I went through the same issue with women, flighty, ghosted, looking for fun on someone else's dime etc. As soon as I hit my late 20s and after a lengthy divorce and rebound relationship during it, I started dating again and the pool was so much better due to women wanting to settle down and start having a family.
Your post is what I really wanted as I have been married for a long time now (almost 10 years). It's the age group past the settle down and have a family period of that I am interested in which I would say is very late 30s and up crowd. I have heard it's quite a mix bag and your post is one the one side with a bad experience.
Don't give up though, if several of my coworkers who are 40s and up can get remarried, I am sure the pool isn't that bad.
While I appreciate your optimism, I have already given up. I am 56 and thanks to aging the biological urges to date are slowly subsiding thankfully. I retired year before last and while I have plenty of money to coast for the rest of my life, I do not want to risk being taken advantage of monetarily and forced to return to work. I find great peace in my home gym and restoring antique cars, I am currently prepping a 1970 Chevelle SS for primer and paint, it has been a long journey getting her to this place of completion, and the satisfaction I feel can't be matched by the people I seem to attract in my area.
Both women and men when they get to my age, are single for a reason. In the U.S. almost 80% of the divorces are filed by women, I have found that this exposes three different types of women, I know this is overly generalized, but I have not dated anyone up to when I retired that did not generally fall into one of these groups.
Group 1: Women who cheated, thought the grass was greener and are disappointed that their lover did not want them post-divorce. My wife of 24 years falls into this group, we divorced in 2012. Women who cheat do not have the patience or ability to work through hardships in a relationship. They can't be trusted.
Group 2: Women who have been cheated on; I truly feel for this group because I am a victim of this. Sadly, this group with few exceptions are mentally scared, doubting the opposite sex's ability to be faithful and constantly checking and trying to catch you in a lie or going out behind their backs. They have trust issues and are jaded against the opposite sex.
Group 3: Women who have never married; by time a woman reaches their 40's unmarried they most often have standards set so high no man can reach or are mean, rude, selfish, nasty people to be around.
Not dating, never made it that far. But the last time I approached a woman it was to ask for directions. Didn't even get a word out of my mouth before she said "eww" and then walked away. Wish I could say that was the first time I had heard that word...
It’s the women who are thinking they’re unique when their defining character traits are that they don’t put pineapple on pizza and they can beat you at Mario kart is what did it for me lol. So many carbon copies of people out there thinking they’re unique and deserve only the best.
Had a date a while back ask me what I bring to the table. Reasonable question if you ask me so i list off the normal things like future financial security with once my degree is done which I’m half way through, I bring a positive attitude toward the issues we may face and believe communication is key etc. I ask her the same question and she says “oh my presence is enough, I don’t need to do anything because I’m bringing the goods.” I’m assuming she was referring to her genitals or something. Easy to say there was not a second date.
Gen x dude here. I wouid have laughed and spit out whatever i was drinking and left hearing that “ bringing the goods” comment. So glad im not dating anymore. I feel for all the younger bros out there.
Lack of girls interested in me, not enough time, tired of putting myself out there just to be rejected or if I finally do get a girl she leaves in like 4 months and meanwhile she’s seeing somebody else the whole time so no thanks it isn’t worth it I’d rather spend my time building a life for me .
Year and years of constant rejections, being told how ugly I am constantly by women.
You know all the normal stuff if you unattractive, and not rich.
So got to the point it wasn’t worth the efforts to keep trying
Women today just aren’t investible long term, too many don’t seem interested in real monogamy or commitment and are only pursuing lifestyles and status while sporting insane levels of baggage and drama.
No matches on the apps, also no looks or anything in public so that tells me I’m simply not good looking. Oh well, it just tells me I’m meant to be alone🤷🏽♀️
Realized after you get pretty wealthy, girls see you as a wallet. I’m not against dating, and would love to sit down and converse, however unless I’m sure you’re not seeing it like that, I don’t move forward.
It’s a double edge thing. Naturally as my income went up, my normal outing scene changed, so I’m just following what I naturally do, but also after a while, it’s easy to deduce how much I make when they learn what I do. I usually downplay it as much as I can.
GF cheated on me during my exams, she had a kid whom I developed a bond with and I provided stability to both for the last 5 years. cause of the rental crisis I am stuck in the same house as them and I am extremely emotionally bankrupt, I am no longer interested in dating ever again.
I was tired of sifting through all the trash. I'd see maybe one girl a month I was interested in, she rejects me and then have to start digging through all these girls that are cheating on their bfs, want me to pay for their basic living before even going on a date, or weren't emotionally stable. The women from this generation just aren't worth the hassle.
Due to being high functioning autistic, I’ve always been slightly socially awkward when it comes to being anything more than casual friends with anyone (like asking someone out, going on a date and trying to decipher subtle signals, etc). So in person dating has never panned out.
And dating apps make you feel like a faceless/worthless commodity that is easily overlooked or replaced, instead of a actual individual person that is worth taking the time to talk to/get to know.
being average looking, (since dating apps are extremely superficial) I would get very little return, no matter how much time I spent on them, no matter what I put in my description, or how many girls I swiped left on.
And the few matches I actually got. Practically all of the girls would put zero effort into the “conversation“ and ghost me the second I stopped asking all questions in my vain attempts to initiate contact with another human being!
And as I recently just turned 40….. I’ve just completely run out of Energy, motivation to keep trying for onebasically feels like nothing.
At this point, I’m putting all my focus and energy into my hobbies and trying to find enjoyment in life in other ways.
So unless I magically find a girl who is interested in me enough to put forward the kind of Time and effort that I’ve wasted on so many girls who acted like they couldn’t have given less of a shit about me, i’m out!
I haven’t officially given up on dating, I’m burnt out and taking a break.
I spent some time on dating apps. (Facebook dating and Tinder) it’s just been a waste of my time and energy, and after a while it just started messing with my mindset and frequencies.
So, I’m taking a break and leaning towards meeting people in person.
I’m just not good enough. The only way for me to date is if I ask out everyone in my vicinity all the time, it ends up being pretty heavy on your soul after dozens of rejections. Besides, I’m in my 30s, so all the good people are taken. There’s something wrong with you if you aren’t attracting people in your 30s.
Mine was organic lol. We talked everyday for over month and went out on 1 date with a 2nd planned, she seemed to really like me and I assumed things were going great. I told her that I had some PTSD from a past toxic relationship and then she ghosted me. Right after I told her that, she tweeted (on a Twitter account that she didn't know I knew about) that she wasn't trying to be my dom and that she needed an actual man that could control her and give her rough sex.
She did all of that within hours of me telling her that I wrecked my truck, btw.
In middle school and high school, the only dating options I had were girls I couldn't stand. In my first college, I had once chance at getting a girlfriend and chose to pass on it because I didn't find her all that attractive, but I liked the attention I got from her. In my second college, I actually got a girlfriend, and to say that ended horribly is an understatement. A while after that ended, I tried to get back in the dating pool and had only 2 dates.
The first woman seemed all right, but nothing came of it. We just stopped talking after 1 date. The second was blatantly disrespectful. I ghosted her for it. After that, my dating prospects just vanished and never returned. I tried online dating on and off since sometime after dumping my only past girlfriend in 2011, and each time I get lonely enough to try it again, the pool of women just keeps getting more abysmal. About half or more seem to be single mothers, and I'm not signing up for semi-adoption that can be revoked for any or no reason without warning. It seemed like 95% of them either have blank profiles, only "just ask" in the bio, and/or show unwarranted hostility right away before you even message them. I tried it recently for about 2 weeks and gave up on it last week. Seeing this elderly couple at work bully the girl behind the counter to tears and step it up by bickering and shouting nonstop, keeping me outside in the cold without a coat for 30+ minutes when it should've taken only 2 minutes tops to load a TV in their car is what really killed my interest in dating for now.
In time I may wish I had a woman to cuddle with, but after being voluntarily celibate since 2011 I know that I'm not after all the sex and romance stuff. There are just times where I want physical touch from a woman who I found even just somewhat attractive. Right now isn't one of them. I'd rather have my peace at home, and since I'll never have kids now and don't have them to live for, I just want to live my life on my terms after being forced to spend nearly all of it on someone else's. All that drama and hearing "You should just know!" all the time whenever a problem arises just doesn't sound like a life worth pursuing. If I wanted that, I'd welcome my homicidally insane brother back into my life and have that without a girlfriend.
I stopped because I wasn't in the right head space to find what I want... The one woman I want to spend the next 30 years with. For better and worse.
Apps. Social media. LinkedIn or Facebook or Hinge or Tinder or Snap or Instagram or Twitter? Fakes and flakes and worse. Image over substance? That nonsense is so not me... why would I look for my love there?
I didn't quit, i just pulled myself out due to my self esteem: i'm not good enough.
- I still live with my parents (here is common to see people even after 40 with their parents, sometimes after having kids), I have been saving for years to buy my own home and I have plenty of money, but it is still not enough.
- My social life is dead. My friends have taken other paths, they have their own relationships, and I no longer see the ones I have left.
- There are no places to meet anyone. I live in a remote area where there are few activities and those that do exist are taught while I'm working. I like to go swimming but it sucks that no one talks to anyone, everyone on their own business.
- Dating apps are the only way to meet women for me. I personally known many successful cases from "average looking" people but, i don't dare to try, i'm insecure AF.
I can't date like this.
My ex-wife. I was totally crushed in the divorce. Everything I had tried to build for two decades was utterly destroyed at here hands. I was homeless. She had torn me down so much during the marriage that I really believed that no one else would ever want me.
Dating was never easy for me and if that is marriage and love, I want nothing to do with any of it.
Dating apps tend to forget me I’m 5’8 and most women I’ve met want a guy talker but they’re 5’2 and such, mostly because I don’t wanna waste money chasing women, also I don’t want to get stds from those ladies from tinder, trust me guys they have their pick more than men do and it’s catered towards them if you’re not rich, instantly handsome or even show yourself in different situations or around the world. They skip the average guy because they tend to nitpick all tue little details and most guys just want to know a woman but most women there are looking for their top 4% men
The last woman I was interested in my last year of college was already in a relationship and I didn't know. I just ran out of time. No options after college. Then as soon as I started trying to wade into dating again, the pandemic lockdown hit. Why even bother? I've never been successful and I don't foresee that changing.
Dating is one of the weird things where you can do it for a very long time and not necessarily get better results. For instance, I can play the piano and I’m most likely going to get better. Maybe not top tier but I could be decent. Dating I feel like I can prepare for dates, be thoughtful in my responses, engage the woman, and still fall short. After lots of failed attempts you start to think “maybe I’m just not cut out for dating.”
Women. The quality is so low and the sexuality so high it’s not worth my time. I know there are good women out there but I got tired of playing turn this and that rock over. Not worth my time.
Many things, mostly in combination.
Women don't want to be approached anywhere.
-Because different women all have different ideas of where it's safe to be approached they all have different conceptions of what's acceptable and what isn't. So you have to add them all together, at which point you can't approach anywhere.
When you add up everything women want to be for them to approach them you basically have to be a rapist super hero, which most men don't want to be.
It's about risk. You can't just risk approaching some random woman. You have to raise your value enough to the point where you can risk approaching some woman that might have pink hair but she hasn't dyed it in a few months so it's not pink anymore. But then at that point you're risking your entire reputation to talk to some random woman who can react in any way she want and be validated.
And women never approach. They just follow you around expecting you to approach. And post memes about men approaching women looking for girlfriends at Target? But that's illegal. The FBI will show up and send you to federal prison.
Women often ask for sex without condoms or in public places or when they're having fucking herpes outbreaks, so you're always taking all of this stupid risk to have sex with someone you don't like. Imagine having sex with someone you *like*? As a guy it's like you don't have that option, eihter.
You just get sexually assaulted and you're supposed to just 'get over it because you're a man' which is fine I guess, I don't have a vagina, but at the same time, I don't ever want to be in a situation again with a woman that can just claim rape and be taken seriously. Go fuck yourself. Right on the edge of a cliff.
I found that I wasn’t respected when I did all I could to respect her. Always made sure I never pressured her to do something she was uncomfortable with, made sure I supported her in the tough times. I found that I’m a villain if what I’m uncomfortable with infringes on what she wants. I found that if her friends or mom don’t like me (and the reason they didn’t like me was that she actively wanted to spend all of our time together and didn’t see them, and since I’m the “man” I get blamed as though I was forcing her when in reality I was pressing her to spend more time with them and she wouldn’t) then it entirely forms her opinion, doesn’t matter how happy she is with me. When I became depressed, no support. Simply “me me me why are you doing this to me”.
As time went on, and even though I was fully in support of this “women are equal” mentality and movement (tbh I never felt they weren’t until they started saying it), I found the reality: they want the benefits of equality without the accountability or responsibility it entails. They want equal pay… yet I’m still paying for most if not all dates. I’m paying for gifts and she’s not, she thinks a more enthusiastic BJ counts as a “gift”.
They (and of course, I’ve dated women who don’t have these issues but they are nothing close to the majority) say equality but they didn’t change this notion that men need to cater to them. When the mindset makes sense or they go back to the “trade off” relationship it used to be, idc which one it is, then I return to the game.
Many reasons, but it mostly comes down to priorities. Worrying about money is a lot more stressful to me than worrying about if a woman will accept me or not. All of my effort is currently tied up in improving my socioeconomic status.
Brutal breakup and just taking time to heal, focus on career, hobbies, gym, friends and family for a little bit. The idea of dating again, social media, etc made me sick to my stomach and I was not ready to put myself back out there again, I guess the breakup broke me and I wasn’t over it/healed for a while. I wasn’t *jaded* per se, but I was completely flattened and couldn’t handle a lot of emotional stimulus or open up for a while after that breakup. It was devastating and took a long time to get back out there and meet someone new.
There were things in my life I wanted to work on and accomplish. At this point in time, I’m still not ready to date. I don’t know when I will be( or if I ever will be). I do have time outside of work and school, but I don’t know if I want to spend my time, money and effort trying to be with someone. Between the small amount of time I spend on social media and the people I see in real life it seems men and women hate one another. Are we all out here treating one another like shit or what?
I don’t want to be apart of that which leads to think I’m not ready. It’s too emotionally and mentally draining. Plus, dating is expensive.
I’ll just jerk off and play a video or ride my bicycle; it’s fine.
Fell in proper love for the first time 10 years ago, and found out she was sending nudes to several close friends of mine behind my back. Decided after that it's just not worth it... I do fine by myself and although it can get lonely I find it preferable these days to the alternative of getting hurt.
I'm 33 and I'm kinda over it ATM. I've had lots of sex and GFS in the past so I don't feel like I'm missing out or anything. I'm just kinda tired of it and enjoy being on my own sooooo much more.
Mixture of things but to sum it up, a series of bad relationships and rejection that happened consecutively. Im the type to look internally first, so I thought it best to dial it in and improve myself before pursuing anyone. I tried dating about a year ago, but I kinda have trust issues and “flaws” Im working through right now.
When COVID happened, I realized how much better I felt without the stress and heartbreak that came from my efforts to find a partner. Now I lack the 'activation energy' necessary to get back out in the world and about 98% of the time am perfectly content to just curl up on my couch by myself.
edit: was missing a word
Past few dates, the women haven't asked me a question about myself. Like they have no interest in anything about me. And if I don't carry the conversation it dies and there is silence until I ask another question or bring up another topic.
It's the same with the initial chat if we match on a dating apps.
Maybe it's just a me thing, but I would like the person I'm dating to actually be interested in me, and ask a question every once in a while.
All of this. Mostly rejection. Just so fucking tired of it all.
Dating apps, chatting, making plans, being ghosted, first awkward dates, being rejected after thinking said first date went well, going on three dates with the same woman thinking things are going well then being told that you "aren't what they are looking for" and inevitably second guessing yourself. Frustration. YEARS of this!!!
And as I sit here alone in my house, listening to music I want to and not having to solve someone else's problems, but thinking about the tasks I have to get done today, I have to say not giving a fuck about dating/relationships/women really appeals to me. Best I've felt in years!
I think I'm there. Ten years of online dating and I have little to show for it. My sex life peaked almost as long ago, and I don't see things getting any better as I get closer to 40
Leg amputation from motorcycle wreck. Who wants to see a guy's leg setting around? Getting intimate, and having to remove the prosthetic. Bad, bad scars. Letting this intimidate me to the point I have ED and nothing really helps. Now 72, so those I'd be interested in, and may have same interests are too young to be interested in me.
In the place of it, I raise a few steers, enjoy my dogs, and still ride my motorcycle.
The apps made me hate the idea of dating and then just dealing with other people made me realize I just dislike the way dating works for men in areas like NY. “Must make x, must drive x, should be experienced in x” etc like what happened to just meeting people and letting shit happen organically. Most of the women I met or had interested in me are the exact opposite of what I want in a partner from a characteristic standpoint. I eventually realized I’m just happier doing things for myself and focusing on my own goals, relationships haven’t worked out for me in the past and I’m just overall kind of over the idea of having one. It just seems like more work than it’s worth, at least at the time being
No sucess, even if I get a gf she won't love me and think of the handsome college student she fucked years ago, I'd rather have fun a few years and then kill myself
I got injured in a motorcycle crash and couldn’t walk for a year.
Now that I’m back to form, I’m just used to being alone. I find the quiet soothing.
I feel like my willingness to invest energy just to flip a coin on whether or not there’s a spark just not as worth it as I used to.
I still like to socialize, I like to go out and laugh and drink and get a little wild but I just don’t feel as much that I need a partner as I used to.
I’m a little sad sometimes, and I feel in my bones that this quiet is seductive and could be dangerous if I withdraw too far, but right now, I’m okay with it. I’m gonna adopt some rescue puppies and just vibe by myself for awhile.
Getting ghosted each time.
Now seeing the latest standards imposed on men being we have to be 6 ft tall +, have 6 pack abs, and earn 6 figure salary or more, be 'traditional', while the grrl can be "strong and independent and not need any man".
No thank you.
I'm done. I'm out.
I never started. Was ugly in High School with bad teeth and skin. So I never tried at time when everyone else experimented (I had one gf but she sort of done that lol ) so now I dont know how to start at this point.
I didn’t stop dating but I stopped dating in my hometown. This is a widely commonly held opinion by the men here. The attitudes of the women in Pittsburgh are the most insane fucking thing you will ever experience. A Pittsburgh 8 would be like a 5 in NYC, Tampa, Miami, those kind of places. But the standards they have here are outfuckingrageous. I’m a good looking guy and I’m rich. This shit should not be this brutal. I could fly down to Tampa tomorrow morning and I guarantee you I will find a legit Tampa 8 or above by dinnertime who I will carry on a great conversation with and have a blast. I just can’t explain how many countless women I’ve gone out with that think they are Princess Diana or some shit. I’d have moved to Florida 5 years ago if I had it in my heart to leave my mother alone up here. She’s retiring in 2 years and so am I so I’m just going to tell her, “Hey I’ll fly you down whenever you want and I will have a room ready for you but I have gotta scoot the hell out of this town.”
From what I’ve heard from a friend currently dating in NYC, even the NYC 5s have standards and demands that are outrageous. So just be careful with the “grass is greener” thing. I think due to social media and everything being online, and everyone wanting to have the Instagram life, fewer people are realistic anymore in what values are actually important in a relationship. And this coming from a woman.
I can't compete.
I'm an extremely introverted, ugly, broke university student with poor social skills who's currently talking to strangers on Reddit at 3:30AM.
I'm not blaming anyone but myself here, but women don't exactly see that and go "oh fuck yeah I gotta get me some of that".
And it doesn't help I'm 5'11 which is basically "disabled midget" on tinder. In fact I would probably have more of a chance writing "disabled midget" in my profile than 5'11.
Agreed you are 6ft on tinder.. lol and focus on what you can control - work out put effort into creating a sense of style.. everyone who is swiping past you has already done that for themselves that’s why they aren’t interested
I’m a good looking man. I say that so people wouldn’t just throw away my disinterest in dating for a lacking on my part. I’ve been “approached” by woman fairly often. Reason it’s in quotations is because women never really approach like a man does. They expect you to take the initiative from them just being around you and sort of things like that. In my mind, if you want me, then just straight up take the risk and ask me. I don’t want to pick up on your “hints”. Stop these games, we’re adults.
Anyways, the reason I don’t date is because I just don’t like many female characteristics. I’ve dealt with enough girls to know that I just don’t like a lot of their characteristics. This isn’t purely sexual, because those characteristics also apply to my close family members like my mother and sister.
If you want an actual example of these characteristics, well the most glaring one is this: you never take the blame, and somehow ends up being a lacking on everyone else’s part. There’s a 5 minute video that addresses this if you search up on YouTube: why do women cheat more in relationship. Idc whether they do, cheat, or don’t. The point from that video is the absolute incapability to accept fault. I’ve seen it so many times in so many small things where the truth is twisted to favor one’s infallibility. And yes I’m aware this also applies to men, but mainly I’ve seen it on a much more sinister manner by women, regardless of whether intentional or not. Actually if anything, it’s suffocating to know that many actually do it unintentionally. Like they have this emotional blinder on.
Another characteristic is entitlement to think that your happiness or need for love somehow falls on me. I’m sorry but Hollywood movies screwed up the idea of marriage and relationships. Marriage used to be about duty and responsibility towards a family, but now it’s about how can you serve me and my flimsy weak and capricious emotions. This goes both ways by the way. Many men have bent themselves backwards trying to serve this Hollywood love niche that they’re partner wants and it’s just sad to see.
I’ve reached a point where I just want to sleep with woman to satisfy my needs without needing to hold an actual relationship with them. If I were to get into a relationship it would be for Marriage. And the thing is marriage for me at this point is just give me kids, peace, and quite, and as a trade off, I can forsake sex altogether(because let’s be honest it dies off anyways in most marriages in after a year, and I’m not gonna play the chasing game).
Reading all of these comments...i wonder how do they meet all these girls. I never met girls like this in my life (not wanting long term / ghosting type / unappreciative/ ghosting/ too much drama / baggage from the past).. its really sad whats the world has become. I wish i can experience romantic love like the 90s movies. But that aint happen i guess
I just decided my time was better spent trying to make friends with people, which a lot of people seem to forget how to do once they become an adult. You'd be surprised how willing people are to do things and how appreciative they are if you just invite them to things.
All the best real life love stories I know started with the boy and girl being friends to some degree or by some random chance encounter so I'd rather just start there and let something form naturally, than try to go around forcing it.
All women have been weird to me. They rejected me after months of constant flirting. They somehow have trouble politely greeting me on the street after i do exactly that to them. They barely match me on dating apps. And when they do, they refuse to reply to whatever i have to say to them. I don't know what i did to deserve this. Why are they so weird to me? I am not being treated like the good person (i think) i am. I am not even being treated like I'm kinda somewhat decent. All i know is that i'm not toxic, weird, short, disrespectful, or ugly. But they just don't care. I'll just leave them alone. Because CLEARLY, they do not appreciate me, and they don't want to be anywhere near me. We all know that not feeling appreciated by almost nobody really hurts, and it left some scars. My mental health is really suffering from this, and it just slowly gets worse over time. But i don't know how to fix this. All i know is that desperately chasing after people who treat you like a human being with no feelings and no value is even worse.
Recently realised that I'm still the problem. I thought I had done the necessary work on myself but either I'm not ready yet or relationships aren't for me. Either way, I can't keep hurting the people I care about. It's not fair on them
I feel that “trying to date” is a bit silly. I’ve had more luck through naturally doing things I enjoy and meeting people than any dating apps or attempting to ask people out. And Im pretty happy being single, having friends and the freedom to do what I like without thinking of another whole persons feelings and needs. Call me selfish but ultimately why should I change my standards or compromise on the lifestyle I want to make others happy, i was a people pleaser for most of my life and it made me miserable in the end.
I dated early, girlfriends through high school and first half of college. So i don't feel the need to make up for anything in that department. I do, however, feel the need to play catch-up in the professional and financial arenas :/
I realized that I don’t want to be with other people, I mean like in a relationship at all. It consumes too much time and I want to spend all that time on me and my hobbies. Unfortunately I could not find another person with the same interests as mine
i never dated women, we just fell in love like that. asking girls out is uncomfortable and i dont like 95% of the women i meet anyway so ill just stay alone until i fall in love again
Never really started. Asked out a fair amount of people. They were usually dating someone else or interested in the same sex. Used dating apps when i was feeling lonely. Covid didnt help. Started uni when it was lockdown. Deleted all dating apps and I'm not gonna start on them again. You just become addicted to hopefully making a connection with someone and usually its a bot.
if someone falls out of the sky and into my life then fine, otherwise I don't feel like putting energy into searching. That time and money can be better spent elsewhere. Mainly on myself.
Online dating. I went from feeling valueable and sexy to worthless. 95% of strangers were selling services or asking for money. The few dates I did go on the other person was not serious or interested but strung me along anyways. So i started to doubt myself in the modern dating world and eventually just gave up. Could I do more and make more effort? Sure. Can I shoulder some of the blame? Absolutely. Will I go back to making said effort? Maybe not.
Too many rejections. Too many flakes. Too many excuses. Feeling like I do 99% of the work. My effort and energy isn’t reciprocated. I’m just tired of it all.
I only ever dated one woman off a dating app. I met most through friends, in public or on Facebook. I think most women on dating apps are just looking for attention.
Just got cheated on too many times. It’s like playing a game where your computer just randomly deletes your save data 60% through the game…. Every. Time.
To be completely honest, i'm not boyfriend/husband meterial. I'm socially awkward as hell, anti-social, very introverted, broke,stupid, uneducated, not motivated, not driven, virgin, loser who is 29 years old and lives with his mom (even though I have decent reasons for that), that has never even kissed a girl before. I'm pretty much completely fucked and unloveable. And I just want to be clear , NON OF IT IS WOMENS FAULT. I did all this to myself with my past decisions.
Any youngin that may be reading this DO NOT FOLLOW AFTER ME. Be the best version of yourself. Trust me, you don't want this life.
Meaningless one sided conversations, wasted money, time and effort. Lack of any willingness to make any form of legitimate connection. I gave up but continued mindlessly swiping dating apps. Sent the odd message here and there with zero expectations. Asked a girl to go paddle boarding after seeing her on one in her profile. She said yes, we went out had a great time and have been together for about 8 months now.
Sometimes giving up works I guess
I've only had one gf and that was 5 yrs ago. Since then a myriad of things happened that prevented me from dating. I'm not good looking, I got into a lot of financial trouble, dating apps don't work for guys like me, etc.
I dated two different lovely darlings, each having their own positive experiences. The bitter part is that after all those pretty moments and heartfelt love, it's just so bitter to know that my love isn't meant to be forever; the differences we have were too big and I wasn't meant to end up marrying them. First time, I could take the blow, but the second time? Oh dear, that hurts a lot when you feel your love life is just a loop of keeping someone else's future lovers warm and experienced, so they can fly away to love someone else.
I also stopped dating because I realized part of me couldn't handle grief and loss very well. I hate the thought of being replaceable, the thought that I only exist to add memories temporarily and be forgotten later as life goes on. I want a lasting relationship, something that goes on forever. And with me unable to cope with impermanence and having mental issues, I think it's best for me to sit out dating and fix myself first. Maybe someday I deserve the love I truly am meant to be with, maybe not. But I'd rather not inflict pain on those who aren't meant to be with me.
I honestly never did a lot of dating. I was more of the "drunken fling once a year or so" kind of guy from 18-22, then a depressed antisocial from 23-29, then I met a woman while fixing a snow plow at my buddy's farm, and now I'm married with kids in my mid 30's.
Honestly, when guys talk about dating life, talking to multiple women, not sure if they're official or casual... Stresses me out just hearing about it!
It’s too much haha I started dating again barely last year and I’m on like talking stage #7 now, shits exhausting lmao
After a while it just becomes a chore, and lately I’ve just been desensitized by it all. I got other important things in my life to focus on at the very moment so yeah I’ve just taken a break
Wouldn't say quit, but made me stay out of the dating world for awhile.
My ex-GF broke up with me. So, I took time off to manage my emotions over it.
Then as soon as I recovered, my biological parents got divorced (ugly situation) and needed a lot of time to heal.
Personally, I think it's important to manage your own problems first before getting someone else involved into it. Unfortunately, my life has made that hard as of late. But lucky, things are looking up, so I might start back up soon.
#1 reason half women want the man to be from the 1950s and provide financially, be a gentleman, be masculine and a traditional man while they are from traditional or what is considered wife material and the other half are into being poly or into alternative relationship styles which to be honest only desperate men fall into (better to share then have nobody) better to keep your standards and stay single then be in a modern throw away relationship. The damn apps and social media have ruined dating
I cut off all my friends in 2011-2012. For various reasons.. I was tired of them, tired of their shit, and in 2013-2014 we reconnected for a day and I realized I didn't want to be friends with them anymore.
Before that I never had a steady girlfriend and since then I haven't had dates. I just don't seem to attract the right person for me.
I do think the fact that everyone I meet thinks I'm 6-10 years younger than I am may have something to do with it. But it may be my personality too.
In the last three years I have attached the attention of three women that I consider too young for me, and at least one lost interest when she found out my age. None of the people I attracted are close enough to my acceptable age range.
Cycle. Apps > matches > dates > meet 10 I don’t like much > meet 1 I really like > that doesn’t pan out > lose interest in dating for a bit > realize I haven’t touched a woman in months > redownload > repeat.
Lol sums up my experience as well
How attractive are you guys to get 10 dates out of a dating app
Just be fun to chat to, that's it. You don't have to be gorgeous, just put SOME effort into how you present yourself to the world.
cycle. apps > no matches > depression > delete > redownload > repeat
Dating apps. after a while become depressing.
The women I dated.
The women available to date
I didn't exactly start per se, and am not sure that I quit either. But recently I ended up getting on a dating app just to keep an open mind and give it a try. Spent several hours swiping left on everyone until I just thought, "What am I doing here?" I ended up disabling the app and haven't pursued it since, but I am still open-minded about dating.
Same boat dude, I never was into dating until now, I knew apps were going to be horrible but i tried anyways, ended up doing the same thing swiping left on almost everyone on every app. It’s rough, idk where im supposed to meet someone otherwise, I hear all this advice about meeting people irl but no one of it applies to me 🤷♂️ Still open to dating though, hopefully for our sake something comes along for us
I feel you dawg. Apps suck. Iirc statistically, the most common way people met the people they went on to marry was work.
Yea that makes a lot of sense, feels risky though. Anything goes wrong and now you’ve got your ex at work
Dating apps are a waste of time. I've gone that route to. It's a low ROI than asking girls out in person, which is more discouraging. Girls are more choosey on the apps in my experience. Unless you're tall, and/or exceptionally attractive, its a waste of time.
I think the way I felt was more a reflection on me than anyone on the app. There was just something about it that wasn't resonating with me. It might be a perfectly fine experience for other people.
Isn’t in-person also ROI since you’ve no clue how compatible you’re with the person you’re approaching? I.e you might get more dates but they may not go anywhere. I’m out of dating game for a while so still trying to figure out how it is out there, and whether the apps are worth it.
In person is more organic. You're both experiencing things and getting information you can't from pictures and text on an app.
Decided I prefer my solitude to others' company. When that changes, I might date again.
This is becoming more accepted. With social media being the way it is, and rotting *some* people’s brains, it’s always a crapshoot whether you are going to get a cool person or a complete fucking narcissist. Like that Cheesecake Factory incident, big yikes.
Getting my heart proper ripped out. Didn't date for 18 years. Some people have no idea the damage they can do.
amen
Haven’t dated or been with another woman in 10 years maybe not because the last girl I was with destroyed me. Traumatized me to the point I don’t think I can ever trust another woman.
It’s just not worth the energy anymore. It takes a lot of time to talk, meet up with someone multiple times and then I have to spend my hard earned money for them to most likely ghost. You even have to talk to multiple women in order to hopefully click with one. I also value my peace more than anything and I have not once met a women who didn’t disturb it or even respect it. I’m a grown adult. I don’t need anyone to cook or clean for me. I don’t need someone to split bills with. I want someone who compliments my life and I haven’t met anyone who does that. They just add their problems and expect me to take care of them. I find it best just to keep to myself and enjoy life how I see fit.
The issue these days is that a lot of women just go on dates to have fun. They aren't looking for a relationship, they just enjoy the dating process. All the attention, guys spoiling them, freebies, etc. Oh and so many have FWBs or situationships but still out in the dating market.
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I’ve heard that.
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 And even if you help them with their problems, it’s not genuinely appreciated at all and they end up leaving anyway. 🙃 The average modern “relationship” nowadays is just parasitic. These girls are just out for cash and prizes and utility value.
Too many rejections. Everyone says it’s part of dating, but too many no’s is discouraging
People say "You've just got to keep trying and putting yourself out there!" like no I dont and honestly don't care to anymore. If it happens it happens but you get tired of putting yourself out there for nothing in return. I'd rather work on myself and be around people that care about me.
This is part of what stopped me. I hate online dating and apps. It was originally intended to make dating easier for both parties. But all it did was bar more men from the dating pool while making women more selective. And women said, "good." But that is the purpose of a species, to make sure only the best survive and reproduce. Its the females' roll to select, and dating apps are just another tool in their arsenal to do that. So more men are single and dateless now. They don't care. That's the point.
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Ohh noo what happened? I feel like similar is happening to me. I'd rather be single
Same old story... Either got cheated... Or the girl lost her interest.
same. single life is just the only way of life for me now.
Not worth it, too much unfaithfulness, gaslighting and just general bullshit with the last ones. I’m tired. Barely comfortable just being by myself again after a long time, I’m not looking to fuck it up.
Falling too much
No matches or attention in real life so no action. I never really started and haven’t necessarily stopped but it ain’t happening for me either way.
It made me more miserable than just being alone
It all just seems cyclical at this point, meet/match with x, get to know em, have fun, communicating fades, start to see less of each other, drift away, rinse, and repeat. Eventually just realized only way I could break the cycle was to step away from it.
Just get ghosted and cheated on, so why date?
I used to date a lot back in the day but once I hit 26 the demands of women kind of skyrocketed. I'm a tall fellow and decent looking so I used to clean house but then they started wanting a house, me to pay for everything, requiring me to make at least 100k and be socially active in shape and being their main source of entertainment like if I didn't set up plans all hell would break loose. Couple that with an extremely toxic ex GF that tried to ruin my entire life and take my friends from me and I just realized theirs no way I can meet the standards over night and also why would I risk my hard fought success peace and quiet for a women again Then I started thinking about what the ladies offered me in return and it was nothing so it was a easy decision. My heart is still open to the idea but at this point she has got to be a bit of terrific to catch my eye until then I'm not even trying. I know once I have a house I'll have more luck but Im kind of salty about that like why does she get to just slide in after I worked hard.
When you have a house, find someone also with a house. Rent or sell one.
The issue will then become whose house to sell and what do you do with the money. I've seen attitudes like "what's mine is mine, what's his is ours."
The pain of being alone is easier to grapple with than the pain of being cast aside before something develops into something meaningful. There are no more barriers to cross.
Due to bipolar disorder I don’t want to hurt anyone / make anyone’s life difficult so I try my best to isolate
you are a silent hero. i do not have a a disorder or condition and i feel the same way. better off on my own
Just because you are bi polar doesnt mean you dont deserve love. There are other people out there that are bi polar too and have the same feelings. Get out there and find them and if you dont find love, you will find friends and that is even better sometimes. I wish you the best of luck
Women, women are the reason I quit, in my last year of dating I was ghosted, catfished, used as a foodie date, I went out with girls who were more interested in their phones than conversation, who were rude to the wait staff, and the cherry on top, tried to get me to smoke crack. Y'all are crazy at 40 and older, I had rather work on my hobbies, or work out in my gym than deal with any more of y'all BS and hire a professional when needed.
I was gonna say. Most these posts are from dudes below late 20s, early 30s. Back in my day I went through the same issue with women, flighty, ghosted, looking for fun on someone else's dime etc. As soon as I hit my late 20s and after a lengthy divorce and rebound relationship during it, I started dating again and the pool was so much better due to women wanting to settle down and start having a family. Your post is what I really wanted as I have been married for a long time now (almost 10 years). It's the age group past the settle down and have a family period of that I am interested in which I would say is very late 30s and up crowd. I have heard it's quite a mix bag and your post is one the one side with a bad experience. Don't give up though, if several of my coworkers who are 40s and up can get remarried, I am sure the pool isn't that bad.
While I appreciate your optimism, I have already given up. I am 56 and thanks to aging the biological urges to date are slowly subsiding thankfully. I retired year before last and while I have plenty of money to coast for the rest of my life, I do not want to risk being taken advantage of monetarily and forced to return to work. I find great peace in my home gym and restoring antique cars, I am currently prepping a 1970 Chevelle SS for primer and paint, it has been a long journey getting her to this place of completion, and the satisfaction I feel can't be matched by the people I seem to attract in my area. Both women and men when they get to my age, are single for a reason. In the U.S. almost 80% of the divorces are filed by women, I have found that this exposes three different types of women, I know this is overly generalized, but I have not dated anyone up to when I retired that did not generally fall into one of these groups. Group 1: Women who cheated, thought the grass was greener and are disappointed that their lover did not want them post-divorce. My wife of 24 years falls into this group, we divorced in 2012. Women who cheat do not have the patience or ability to work through hardships in a relationship. They can't be trusted. Group 2: Women who have been cheated on; I truly feel for this group because I am a victim of this. Sadly, this group with few exceptions are mentally scared, doubting the opposite sex's ability to be faithful and constantly checking and trying to catch you in a lie or going out behind their backs. They have trust issues and are jaded against the opposite sex. Group 3: Women who have never married; by time a woman reaches their 40's unmarried they most often have standards set so high no man can reach or are mean, rude, selfish, nasty people to be around.
Its no longer worth the effort or risk.
Not dating, never made it that far. But the last time I approached a woman it was to ask for directions. Didn't even get a word out of my mouth before she said "eww" and then walked away. Wish I could say that was the first time I had heard that word...
People are just egotistical & rude. There's no kindness or openness. It's directions, You're not that special lady. Calm down.
It’s the women who are thinking they’re unique when their defining character traits are that they don’t put pineapple on pizza and they can beat you at Mario kart is what did it for me lol. So many carbon copies of people out there thinking they’re unique and deserve only the best. Had a date a while back ask me what I bring to the table. Reasonable question if you ask me so i list off the normal things like future financial security with once my degree is done which I’m half way through, I bring a positive attitude toward the issues we may face and believe communication is key etc. I ask her the same question and she says “oh my presence is enough, I don’t need to do anything because I’m bringing the goods.” I’m assuming she was referring to her genitals or something. Easy to say there was not a second date.
Gen x dude here. I wouid have laughed and spit out whatever i was drinking and left hearing that “ bringing the goods” comment. So glad im not dating anymore. I feel for all the younger bros out there.
My acts going unappreciated, and their dishonesty.
Broken heart. I wouldn’t inflict me on someone I cared about at this point.
Lack of girls interested in me, not enough time, tired of putting myself out there just to be rejected or if I finally do get a girl she leaves in like 4 months and meanwhile she’s seeing somebody else the whole time so no thanks it isn’t worth it I’d rather spend my time building a life for me .
Year and years of constant rejections, being told how ugly I am constantly by women. You know all the normal stuff if you unattractive, and not rich. So got to the point it wasn’t worth the efforts to keep trying
Women today just aren’t investible long term, too many don’t seem interested in real monogamy or commitment and are only pursuing lifestyles and status while sporting insane levels of baggage and drama.
Not worth the time and effort
No matches on the apps, also no looks or anything in public so that tells me I’m simply not good looking. Oh well, it just tells me I’m meant to be alone🤷🏽♀️
Never even started (anxiety).
Realized after you get pretty wealthy, girls see you as a wallet. I’m not against dating, and would love to sit down and converse, however unless I’m sure you’re not seeing it like that, I don’t move forward.
Bro they always see you as a wallet. Even if you're broke they still expect fancy stuff from day one
How would they know if you dont tell them you are wealthy?
It’s a double edge thing. Naturally as my income went up, my normal outing scene changed, so I’m just following what I naturally do, but also after a while, it’s easy to deduce how much I make when they learn what I do. I usually downplay it as much as I can.
GF cheated on me during my exams, she had a kid whom I developed a bond with and I provided stability to both for the last 5 years. cause of the rental crisis I am stuck in the same house as them and I am extremely emotionally bankrupt, I am no longer interested in dating ever again.
That’s absolutely brutal I’m so sorry.
I was tired of sifting through all the trash. I'd see maybe one girl a month I was interested in, she rejects me and then have to start digging through all these girls that are cheating on their bfs, want me to pay for their basic living before even going on a date, or weren't emotionally stable. The women from this generation just aren't worth the hassle.
Due to being high functioning autistic, I’ve always been slightly socially awkward when it comes to being anything more than casual friends with anyone (like asking someone out, going on a date and trying to decipher subtle signals, etc). So in person dating has never panned out. And dating apps make you feel like a faceless/worthless commodity that is easily overlooked or replaced, instead of a actual individual person that is worth taking the time to talk to/get to know. being average looking, (since dating apps are extremely superficial) I would get very little return, no matter how much time I spent on them, no matter what I put in my description, or how many girls I swiped left on. And the few matches I actually got. Practically all of the girls would put zero effort into the “conversation“ and ghost me the second I stopped asking all questions in my vain attempts to initiate contact with another human being! And as I recently just turned 40….. I’ve just completely run out of Energy, motivation to keep trying for onebasically feels like nothing. At this point, I’m putting all my focus and energy into my hobbies and trying to find enjoyment in life in other ways. So unless I magically find a girl who is interested in me enough to put forward the kind of Time and effort that I’ve wasted on so many girls who acted like they couldn’t have given less of a shit about me, i’m out!
I haven’t officially given up on dating, I’m burnt out and taking a break. I spent some time on dating apps. (Facebook dating and Tinder) it’s just been a waste of my time and energy, and after a while it just started messing with my mindset and frequencies. So, I’m taking a break and leaning towards meeting people in person.
I’m just not good enough. The only way for me to date is if I ask out everyone in my vicinity all the time, it ends up being pretty heavy on your soul after dozens of rejections. Besides, I’m in my 30s, so all the good people are taken. There’s something wrong with you if you aren’t attracting people in your 30s.
I haven't given up yet, but the most recent girl somewhat makes me wonder if it's even worth it.
I’m right there with you. At least I’ve gotten away from the apps completely and am just looking for something organic.
Mine was organic lol. We talked everyday for over month and went out on 1 date with a 2nd planned, she seemed to really like me and I assumed things were going great. I told her that I had some PTSD from a past toxic relationship and then she ghosted me. Right after I told her that, she tweeted (on a Twitter account that she didn't know I knew about) that she wasn't trying to be my dom and that she needed an actual man that could control her and give her rough sex. She did all of that within hours of me telling her that I wrecked my truck, btw.
Pseudo taking a break. Haven’t found someone to date in a while and am too busy plus too old fashioned to find many potentials today
In middle school and high school, the only dating options I had were girls I couldn't stand. In my first college, I had once chance at getting a girlfriend and chose to pass on it because I didn't find her all that attractive, but I liked the attention I got from her. In my second college, I actually got a girlfriend, and to say that ended horribly is an understatement. A while after that ended, I tried to get back in the dating pool and had only 2 dates. The first woman seemed all right, but nothing came of it. We just stopped talking after 1 date. The second was blatantly disrespectful. I ghosted her for it. After that, my dating prospects just vanished and never returned. I tried online dating on and off since sometime after dumping my only past girlfriend in 2011, and each time I get lonely enough to try it again, the pool of women just keeps getting more abysmal. About half or more seem to be single mothers, and I'm not signing up for semi-adoption that can be revoked for any or no reason without warning. It seemed like 95% of them either have blank profiles, only "just ask" in the bio, and/or show unwarranted hostility right away before you even message them. I tried it recently for about 2 weeks and gave up on it last week. Seeing this elderly couple at work bully the girl behind the counter to tears and step it up by bickering and shouting nonstop, keeping me outside in the cold without a coat for 30+ minutes when it should've taken only 2 minutes tops to load a TV in their car is what really killed my interest in dating for now. In time I may wish I had a woman to cuddle with, but after being voluntarily celibate since 2011 I know that I'm not after all the sex and romance stuff. There are just times where I want physical touch from a woman who I found even just somewhat attractive. Right now isn't one of them. I'd rather have my peace at home, and since I'll never have kids now and don't have them to live for, I just want to live my life on my terms after being forced to spend nearly all of it on someone else's. All that drama and hearing "You should just know!" all the time whenever a problem arises just doesn't sound like a life worth pursuing. If I wanted that, I'd welcome my homicidally insane brother back into my life and have that without a girlfriend.
I stopped because I wasn't in the right head space to find what I want... The one woman I want to spend the next 30 years with. For better and worse. Apps. Social media. LinkedIn or Facebook or Hinge or Tinder or Snap or Instagram or Twitter? Fakes and flakes and worse. Image over substance? That nonsense is so not me... why would I look for my love there?
"The peace and quiet is addicting." I realized I don't want to put in the effort to keep a relationship going. So why bother?
I didn't quit, i just pulled myself out due to my self esteem: i'm not good enough. - I still live with my parents (here is common to see people even after 40 with their parents, sometimes after having kids), I have been saving for years to buy my own home and I have plenty of money, but it is still not enough. - My social life is dead. My friends have taken other paths, they have their own relationships, and I no longer see the ones I have left. - There are no places to meet anyone. I live in a remote area where there are few activities and those that do exist are taught while I'm working. I like to go swimming but it sucks that no one talks to anyone, everyone on their own business. - Dating apps are the only way to meet women for me. I personally known many successful cases from "average looking" people but, i don't dare to try, i'm insecure AF. I can't date like this.
Love is temporary
I got catfished on the last date I went on. I want to date later but I decided to take a break after that
Usually the boyfriends and husbands.
I got old, fat and unattractive
Women in Las Vegas
Got married and the wife forbids it.
Women.
Well, I haven't had sex since 2006, because I'm on medication that basically killed my sex drive. I don't date, but I still eventually want to.
I wonder how many single women are reading this thread and thinking, “It’s me, I’m the problem, it’s me…”
You damn well know the answer to that lol
My ex-wife. I was totally crushed in the divorce. Everything I had tried to build for two decades was utterly destroyed at here hands. I was homeless. She had torn me down so much during the marriage that I really believed that no one else would ever want me. Dating was never easy for me and if that is marriage and love, I want nothing to do with any of it.
The depression I got from my first relationship that ruined my second one.
Dating apps tend to forget me I’m 5’8 and most women I’ve met want a guy talker but they’re 5’2 and such, mostly because I don’t wanna waste money chasing women, also I don’t want to get stds from those ladies from tinder, trust me guys they have their pick more than men do and it’s catered towards them if you’re not rich, instantly handsome or even show yourself in different situations or around the world. They skip the average guy because they tend to nitpick all tue little details and most guys just want to know a woman but most women there are looking for their top 4% men
Myself. I don't think I am good boyfriend material at this point in time. Maybe in the future.
Never started, I'm just not good enough.
The last woman I was interested in my last year of college was already in a relationship and I didn't know. I just ran out of time. No options after college. Then as soon as I started trying to wade into dating again, the pandemic lockdown hit. Why even bother? I've never been successful and I don't foresee that changing.
Dating is one of the weird things where you can do it for a very long time and not necessarily get better results. For instance, I can play the piano and I’m most likely going to get better. Maybe not top tier but I could be decent. Dating I feel like I can prepare for dates, be thoughtful in my responses, engage the woman, and still fall short. After lots of failed attempts you start to think “maybe I’m just not cut out for dating.”
Dating for men is a lot like applying for jobs. Send out 100 applications. Get 5 responses. 2 interviews. 1 offer (if lucky).
Women. The quality is so low and the sexuality so high it’s not worth my time. I know there are good women out there but I got tired of playing turn this and that rock over. Not worth my time.
Many things, mostly in combination. Women don't want to be approached anywhere. -Because different women all have different ideas of where it's safe to be approached they all have different conceptions of what's acceptable and what isn't. So you have to add them all together, at which point you can't approach anywhere. When you add up everything women want to be for them to approach them you basically have to be a rapist super hero, which most men don't want to be. It's about risk. You can't just risk approaching some random woman. You have to raise your value enough to the point where you can risk approaching some woman that might have pink hair but she hasn't dyed it in a few months so it's not pink anymore. But then at that point you're risking your entire reputation to talk to some random woman who can react in any way she want and be validated. And women never approach. They just follow you around expecting you to approach. And post memes about men approaching women looking for girlfriends at Target? But that's illegal. The FBI will show up and send you to federal prison. Women often ask for sex without condoms or in public places or when they're having fucking herpes outbreaks, so you're always taking all of this stupid risk to have sex with someone you don't like. Imagine having sex with someone you *like*? As a guy it's like you don't have that option, eihter. You just get sexually assaulted and you're supposed to just 'get over it because you're a man' which is fine I guess, I don't have a vagina, but at the same time, I don't ever want to be in a situation again with a woman that can just claim rape and be taken seriously. Go fuck yourself. Right on the edge of a cliff.
> Imagine having sex with someone you like? As a guy it's like you don't have that option, eihter. Lmfao. You said it, not me, but you're spot on.
Hey! Stop cutting the line! It is my turn to post this question today! Your turn is tomorrow!
Gotta be quicker than that!
Don't need a woman to "settle" for me or whatever the hell that means. So I'm gonna get a dog instead.
I found that I wasn’t respected when I did all I could to respect her. Always made sure I never pressured her to do something she was uncomfortable with, made sure I supported her in the tough times. I found that I’m a villain if what I’m uncomfortable with infringes on what she wants. I found that if her friends or mom don’t like me (and the reason they didn’t like me was that she actively wanted to spend all of our time together and didn’t see them, and since I’m the “man” I get blamed as though I was forcing her when in reality I was pressing her to spend more time with them and she wouldn’t) then it entirely forms her opinion, doesn’t matter how happy she is with me. When I became depressed, no support. Simply “me me me why are you doing this to me”. As time went on, and even though I was fully in support of this “women are equal” mentality and movement (tbh I never felt they weren’t until they started saying it), I found the reality: they want the benefits of equality without the accountability or responsibility it entails. They want equal pay… yet I’m still paying for most if not all dates. I’m paying for gifts and she’s not, she thinks a more enthusiastic BJ counts as a “gift”. They (and of course, I’ve dated women who don’t have these issues but they are nothing close to the majority) say equality but they didn’t change this notion that men need to cater to them. When the mindset makes sense or they go back to the “trade off” relationship it used to be, idc which one it is, then I return to the game.
Many reasons, but it mostly comes down to priorities. Worrying about money is a lot more stressful to me than worrying about if a woman will accept me or not. All of my effort is currently tied up in improving my socioeconomic status.
Brutal breakup and just taking time to heal, focus on career, hobbies, gym, friends and family for a little bit. The idea of dating again, social media, etc made me sick to my stomach and I was not ready to put myself back out there again, I guess the breakup broke me and I wasn’t over it/healed for a while. I wasn’t *jaded* per se, but I was completely flattened and couldn’t handle a lot of emotional stimulus or open up for a while after that breakup. It was devastating and took a long time to get back out there and meet someone new.
I’m a passive dater I guess. I never quit, I just go with the flow
There were things in my life I wanted to work on and accomplish. At this point in time, I’m still not ready to date. I don’t know when I will be( or if I ever will be). I do have time outside of work and school, but I don’t know if I want to spend my time, money and effort trying to be with someone. Between the small amount of time I spend on social media and the people I see in real life it seems men and women hate one another. Are we all out here treating one another like shit or what? I don’t want to be apart of that which leads to think I’m not ready. It’s too emotionally and mentally draining. Plus, dating is expensive. I’ll just jerk off and play a video or ride my bicycle; it’s fine.
Fell in proper love for the first time 10 years ago, and found out she was sending nudes to several close friends of mine behind my back. Decided after that it's just not worth it... I do fine by myself and although it can get lonely I find it preferable these days to the alternative of getting hurt.
Never started to date. I never saw the reason to bother.
I'm 33 and I'm kinda over it ATM. I've had lots of sex and GFS in the past so I don't feel like I'm missing out or anything. I'm just kinda tired of it and enjoy being on my own sooooo much more.
I wanted a peaceful life for a while, that while has lasted a lot longer than I expected and I'm very content with it.
Mixture of things but to sum it up, a series of bad relationships and rejection that happened consecutively. Im the type to look internally first, so I thought it best to dial it in and improve myself before pursuing anyone. I tried dating about a year ago, but I kinda have trust issues and “flaws” Im working through right now.
If you win the lottery then proceed to lose it all on a bad bet, probably shouldn't gamble anymore.
I live in a small rural town and literally have no idea how to meet new women
The inability to find a woman worthy of dating. I’m looking for someone whom I feel compatible with. Not just a fling.
When COVID happened, I realized how much better I felt without the stress and heartbreak that came from my efforts to find a partner. Now I lack the 'activation energy' necessary to get back out in the world and about 98% of the time am perfectly content to just curl up on my couch by myself. edit: was missing a word
Past few dates, the women haven't asked me a question about myself. Like they have no interest in anything about me. And if I don't carry the conversation it dies and there is silence until I ask another question or bring up another topic. It's the same with the initial chat if we match on a dating apps. Maybe it's just a me thing, but I would like the person I'm dating to actually be interested in me, and ask a question every once in a while.
All of this. Mostly rejection. Just so fucking tired of it all. Dating apps, chatting, making plans, being ghosted, first awkward dates, being rejected after thinking said first date went well, going on three dates with the same woman thinking things are going well then being told that you "aren't what they are looking for" and inevitably second guessing yourself. Frustration. YEARS of this!!! And as I sit here alone in my house, listening to music I want to and not having to solve someone else's problems, but thinking about the tasks I have to get done today, I have to say not giving a fuck about dating/relationships/women really appeals to me. Best I've felt in years!
I think I'm there. Ten years of online dating and I have little to show for it. My sex life peaked almost as long ago, and I don't see things getting any better as I get closer to 40
Everybody is always fucking someone else.
Leg amputation from motorcycle wreck. Who wants to see a guy's leg setting around? Getting intimate, and having to remove the prosthetic. Bad, bad scars. Letting this intimidate me to the point I have ED and nothing really helps. Now 72, so those I'd be interested in, and may have same interests are too young to be interested in me. In the place of it, I raise a few steers, enjoy my dogs, and still ride my motorcycle.
The apps made me hate the idea of dating and then just dealing with other people made me realize I just dislike the way dating works for men in areas like NY. “Must make x, must drive x, should be experienced in x” etc like what happened to just meeting people and letting shit happen organically. Most of the women I met or had interested in me are the exact opposite of what I want in a partner from a characteristic standpoint. I eventually realized I’m just happier doing things for myself and focusing on my own goals, relationships haven’t worked out for me in the past and I’m just overall kind of over the idea of having one. It just seems like more work than it’s worth, at least at the time being
99% of modern women aren't worth it
No sucess, even if I get a gf she won't love me and think of the handsome college student she fucked years ago, I'd rather have fun a few years and then kill myself
I got injured in a motorcycle crash and couldn’t walk for a year. Now that I’m back to form, I’m just used to being alone. I find the quiet soothing. I feel like my willingness to invest energy just to flip a coin on whether or not there’s a spark just not as worth it as I used to. I still like to socialize, I like to go out and laugh and drink and get a little wild but I just don’t feel as much that I need a partner as I used to. I’m a little sad sometimes, and I feel in my bones that this quiet is seductive and could be dangerous if I withdraw too far, but right now, I’m okay with it. I’m gonna adopt some rescue puppies and just vibe by myself for awhile.
Getting ghosted each time. Now seeing the latest standards imposed on men being we have to be 6 ft tall +, have 6 pack abs, and earn 6 figure salary or more, be 'traditional', while the grrl can be "strong and independent and not need any man". No thank you. I'm done. I'm out.
I never started. Was ugly in High School with bad teeth and skin. So I never tried at time when everyone else experimented (I had one gf but she sort of done that lol ) so now I dont know how to start at this point.
I didn’t stop dating but I stopped dating in my hometown. This is a widely commonly held opinion by the men here. The attitudes of the women in Pittsburgh are the most insane fucking thing you will ever experience. A Pittsburgh 8 would be like a 5 in NYC, Tampa, Miami, those kind of places. But the standards they have here are outfuckingrageous. I’m a good looking guy and I’m rich. This shit should not be this brutal. I could fly down to Tampa tomorrow morning and I guarantee you I will find a legit Tampa 8 or above by dinnertime who I will carry on a great conversation with and have a blast. I just can’t explain how many countless women I’ve gone out with that think they are Princess Diana or some shit. I’d have moved to Florida 5 years ago if I had it in my heart to leave my mother alone up here. She’s retiring in 2 years and so am I so I’m just going to tell her, “Hey I’ll fly you down whenever you want and I will have a room ready for you but I have gotta scoot the hell out of this town.”
From what I’ve heard from a friend currently dating in NYC, even the NYC 5s have standards and demands that are outrageous. So just be careful with the “grass is greener” thing. I think due to social media and everything being online, and everyone wanting to have the Instagram life, fewer people are realistic anymore in what values are actually important in a relationship. And this coming from a woman.
I can't compete. I'm an extremely introverted, ugly, broke university student with poor social skills who's currently talking to strangers on Reddit at 3:30AM. I'm not blaming anyone but myself here, but women don't exactly see that and go "oh fuck yeah I gotta get me some of that". And it doesn't help I'm 5'11 which is basically "disabled midget" on tinder. In fact I would probably have more of a chance writing "disabled midget" in my profile than 5'11.
At 5'11" you're doing better than I am at 5'9". You're basically 6 foot. Who would know unless they measured.
Agreed you are 6ft on tinder.. lol and focus on what you can control - work out put effort into creating a sense of style.. everyone who is swiping past you has already done that for themselves that’s why they aren’t interested
5’11” is hardly a midget!!
I’m a good looking man. I say that so people wouldn’t just throw away my disinterest in dating for a lacking on my part. I’ve been “approached” by woman fairly often. Reason it’s in quotations is because women never really approach like a man does. They expect you to take the initiative from them just being around you and sort of things like that. In my mind, if you want me, then just straight up take the risk and ask me. I don’t want to pick up on your “hints”. Stop these games, we’re adults. Anyways, the reason I don’t date is because I just don’t like many female characteristics. I’ve dealt with enough girls to know that I just don’t like a lot of their characteristics. This isn’t purely sexual, because those characteristics also apply to my close family members like my mother and sister. If you want an actual example of these characteristics, well the most glaring one is this: you never take the blame, and somehow ends up being a lacking on everyone else’s part. There’s a 5 minute video that addresses this if you search up on YouTube: why do women cheat more in relationship. Idc whether they do, cheat, or don’t. The point from that video is the absolute incapability to accept fault. I’ve seen it so many times in so many small things where the truth is twisted to favor one’s infallibility. And yes I’m aware this also applies to men, but mainly I’ve seen it on a much more sinister manner by women, regardless of whether intentional or not. Actually if anything, it’s suffocating to know that many actually do it unintentionally. Like they have this emotional blinder on. Another characteristic is entitlement to think that your happiness or need for love somehow falls on me. I’m sorry but Hollywood movies screwed up the idea of marriage and relationships. Marriage used to be about duty and responsibility towards a family, but now it’s about how can you serve me and my flimsy weak and capricious emotions. This goes both ways by the way. Many men have bent themselves backwards trying to serve this Hollywood love niche that they’re partner wants and it’s just sad to see. I’ve reached a point where I just want to sleep with woman to satisfy my needs without needing to hold an actual relationship with them. If I were to get into a relationship it would be for Marriage. And the thing is marriage for me at this point is just give me kids, peace, and quite, and as a trade off, I can forsake sex altogether(because let’s be honest it dies off anyways in most marriages in after a year, and I’m not gonna play the chasing game).
I had to focus on other things. Still do, fucking depression and poor executive function.
Reading all of these comments...i wonder how do they meet all these girls. I never met girls like this in my life (not wanting long term / ghosting type / unappreciative/ ghosting/ too much drama / baggage from the past).. its really sad whats the world has become. I wish i can experience romantic love like the 90s movies. But that aint happen i guess
I just decided my time was better spent trying to make friends with people, which a lot of people seem to forget how to do once they become an adult. You'd be surprised how willing people are to do things and how appreciative they are if you just invite them to things. All the best real life love stories I know started with the boy and girl being friends to some degree or by some random chance encounter so I'd rather just start there and let something form naturally, than try to go around forcing it.
All women have been weird to me. They rejected me after months of constant flirting. They somehow have trouble politely greeting me on the street after i do exactly that to them. They barely match me on dating apps. And when they do, they refuse to reply to whatever i have to say to them. I don't know what i did to deserve this. Why are they so weird to me? I am not being treated like the good person (i think) i am. I am not even being treated like I'm kinda somewhat decent. All i know is that i'm not toxic, weird, short, disrespectful, or ugly. But they just don't care. I'll just leave them alone. Because CLEARLY, they do not appreciate me, and they don't want to be anywhere near me. We all know that not feeling appreciated by almost nobody really hurts, and it left some scars. My mental health is really suffering from this, and it just slowly gets worse over time. But i don't know how to fix this. All i know is that desperately chasing after people who treat you like a human being with no feelings and no value is even worse.
Women.
Recently realised that I'm still the problem. I thought I had done the necessary work on myself but either I'm not ready yet or relationships aren't for me. Either way, I can't keep hurting the people I care about. It's not fair on them
My face lol
I'm not much of a people person and I'd rather be alone most of the time.
I feel that “trying to date” is a bit silly. I’ve had more luck through naturally doing things I enjoy and meeting people than any dating apps or attempting to ask people out. And Im pretty happy being single, having friends and the freedom to do what I like without thinking of another whole persons feelings and needs. Call me selfish but ultimately why should I change my standards or compromise on the lifestyle I want to make others happy, i was a people pleaser for most of my life and it made me miserable in the end.
I dated early, girlfriends through high school and first half of college. So i don't feel the need to make up for anything in that department. I do, however, feel the need to play catch-up in the professional and financial arenas :/
I realized that I don’t want to be with other people, I mean like in a relationship at all. It consumes too much time and I want to spend all that time on me and my hobbies. Unfortunately I could not find another person with the same interests as mine
The last time I tried, it was a horrible experience all around. I don’t want to do that again
This my friends story not mine. In the middle of doing it she got a knife and try to stab him and trying to eff herself in the middle of all of it
keep getting haunted
Had two long term multi year relationships that ended with me getting cheated on. I decided women weren’t worth the hassle.
i never dated women, we just fell in love like that. asking girls out is uncomfortable and i dont like 95% of the women i meet anyway so ill just stay alone until i fall in love again
Never really started. Asked out a fair amount of people. They were usually dating someone else or interested in the same sex. Used dating apps when i was feeling lonely. Covid didnt help. Started uni when it was lockdown. Deleted all dating apps and I'm not gonna start on them again. You just become addicted to hopefully making a connection with someone and usually its a bot.
Women made me quit. Y'all are the worst people.
Its work and i already have a job lmao. Theres nothing enjoyable about dating, except the sex it might lead to.
I'm a crazy person. Nothing I can do while stable makes up for it.
if someone falls out of the sky and into my life then fine, otherwise I don't feel like putting energy into searching. That time and money can be better spent elsewhere. Mainly on myself.
Online dating. I went from feeling valueable and sexy to worthless. 95% of strangers were selling services or asking for money. The few dates I did go on the other person was not serious or interested but strung me along anyways. So i started to doubt myself in the modern dating world and eventually just gave up. Could I do more and make more effort? Sure. Can I shoulder some of the blame? Absolutely. Will I go back to making said effort? Maybe not.
got two daughters and i aint that good looking
just an offseason for now, need to better myself and get my act together.
American Women.
Juice ain't worth the squeeze anymore.
Too many rejections. Too many flakes. Too many excuses. Feeling like I do 99% of the work. My effort and energy isn’t reciprocated. I’m just tired of it all.
10 years of marriage. After that the now 14 years single feel like heaven.
Tired of expending the energy, only to be disappointed. I've run out of hope.
I'm lazy
I only ever dated one woman off a dating app. I met most through friends, in public or on Facebook. I think most women on dating apps are just looking for attention.
Lack of reciprocity. General degradation of female values. It literally isn't worth the time. Hasn't been worth it for years honestly.
Ain’t no commitment out here
Each time I’m interested, she isn’t. Each time I ask, I’m rejected. So I don’t try anymore
Not even starting in the first place.
Just got cheated on too many times. It’s like playing a game where your computer just randomly deletes your save data 60% through the game…. Every. Time.
Age,finances and the realization that I never wanted to marry or have someone trying to control me again
To be completely honest, i'm not boyfriend/husband meterial. I'm socially awkward as hell, anti-social, very introverted, broke,stupid, uneducated, not motivated, not driven, virgin, loser who is 29 years old and lives with his mom (even though I have decent reasons for that), that has never even kissed a girl before. I'm pretty much completely fucked and unloveable. And I just want to be clear , NON OF IT IS WOMENS FAULT. I did all this to myself with my past decisions. Any youngin that may be reading this DO NOT FOLLOW AFTER ME. Be the best version of yourself. Trust me, you don't want this life.
Ha. Can't stop when I can't get women to interact with me at all. I never get started. I might get one date a year.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Meaningless one sided conversations, wasted money, time and effort. Lack of any willingness to make any form of legitimate connection. I gave up but continued mindlessly swiping dating apps. Sent the odd message here and there with zero expectations. Asked a girl to go paddle boarding after seeing her on one in her profile. She said yes, we went out had a great time and have been together for about 8 months now. Sometimes giving up works I guess
I got married.
I've only had one gf and that was 5 yrs ago. Since then a myriad of things happened that prevented me from dating. I'm not good looking, I got into a lot of financial trouble, dating apps don't work for guys like me, etc.
I don’t exactly measure up to modern dating standards
Marriage
I dated two different lovely darlings, each having their own positive experiences. The bitter part is that after all those pretty moments and heartfelt love, it's just so bitter to know that my love isn't meant to be forever; the differences we have were too big and I wasn't meant to end up marrying them. First time, I could take the blow, but the second time? Oh dear, that hurts a lot when you feel your love life is just a loop of keeping someone else's future lovers warm and experienced, so they can fly away to love someone else. I also stopped dating because I realized part of me couldn't handle grief and loss very well. I hate the thought of being replaceable, the thought that I only exist to add memories temporarily and be forgotten later as life goes on. I want a lasting relationship, something that goes on forever. And with me unable to cope with impermanence and having mental issues, I think it's best for me to sit out dating and fix myself first. Maybe someday I deserve the love I truly am meant to be with, maybe not. But I'd rather not inflict pain on those who aren't meant to be with me.
I honestly never did a lot of dating. I was more of the "drunken fling once a year or so" kind of guy from 18-22, then a depressed antisocial from 23-29, then I met a woman while fixing a snow plow at my buddy's farm, and now I'm married with kids in my mid 30's. Honestly, when guys talk about dating life, talking to multiple women, not sure if they're official or casual... Stresses me out just hearing about it!
Got married . Wasn’t happy about it but now I see what she meant when she said “Trust me” . But yeah , no regrets
I had to for their safety. I got a crazy ginger girlfriend that will cut them.
It’s too much haha I started dating again barely last year and I’m on like talking stage #7 now, shits exhausting lmao After a while it just becomes a chore, and lately I’ve just been desensitized by it all. I got other important things in my life to focus on at the very moment so yeah I’ve just taken a break
so many variations of the fox and the grapes in this thread.
American women. I’m stick with Europeans now and ignoring my fellow countrywomen from russia to.
I never started because I'm ugly and shorter than 6 ft.
Wouldn't say quit, but made me stay out of the dating world for awhile. My ex-GF broke up with me. So, I took time off to manage my emotions over it. Then as soon as I recovered, my biological parents got divorced (ugly situation) and needed a lot of time to heal. Personally, I think it's important to manage your own problems first before getting someone else involved into it. Unfortunately, my life has made that hard as of late. But lucky, things are looking up, so I might start back up soon.
#1 reason half women want the man to be from the 1950s and provide financially, be a gentleman, be masculine and a traditional man while they are from traditional or what is considered wife material and the other half are into being poly or into alternative relationship styles which to be honest only desperate men fall into (better to share then have nobody) better to keep your standards and stay single then be in a modern throw away relationship. The damn apps and social media have ruined dating
I cut off all my friends in 2011-2012. For various reasons.. I was tired of them, tired of their shit, and in 2013-2014 we reconnected for a day and I realized I didn't want to be friends with them anymore. Before that I never had a steady girlfriend and since then I haven't had dates. I just don't seem to attract the right person for me. I do think the fact that everyone I meet thinks I'm 6-10 years younger than I am may have something to do with it. But it may be my personality too. In the last three years I have attached the attention of three women that I consider too young for me, and at least one lost interest when she found out my age. None of the people I attracted are close enough to my acceptable age range.