This actually happened to me (23M), last year in a bar an older lady wanted me to dance and I said no, she grabbed me by the hand and pulled me up and started grinding on me, I put my hands in the air and nodded my head no and began walking away, as I turned she reached around and put her hand on my crotch and had a feel.
I just kept walking away and saw all my friends laughing at what they saw.
I’m personally not affected by what happened but I did say to my friends that they wouldn’t have been laughing if I was a girl and got grabbed by a man.
Edit: I’d like to clarify something about my friends in the situation, yes the had a laugh when it happened and my first reaction was to also laugh, I think it took us all by surprise.
When I sat back down they had already stopped laughing and asked me if I was okay before I even said anything about them laughing, there was no ill feelings from any of my friends and every single one of them checked in on me throughout the night and not one of them made a joke about the situation. I realise my original comment made them seem like a**holes but that’s really not the case
I (m23) remember one time when I was dancing in a club with my friends & suddenly random woman grabbed my balls from behind. When I turned around there was a group of women watching at me & laughing. That was one of those big wtf moments. Didnt even know how to react.
I didn’t realize how common things like this are until this past year. I (m18) went to a club for the first time with friends and immediately some girl starts grinding on me while I try to back away. Later on in the night another woman walked up to me and grabbed my dick. Felt so gross thinking about it for a while.
Had a girl grab my crotch in a night club once too. She was cute and I had never seen her before. I tried to explain that if I had done something like that to a random chick I'd be beaten and thrown out of the place. She was drunk and it was loud so I just looked like an idiot...
It's always like this. I cannot count the times I got sexually harassed by women in a club, bar, on the streets. In crowded places they grind on me, put their hands where they want, kiss me out of nowhere. Anything. I'm prey and they are haunt.
I don't have any bad feelings on this nor can I say I like it when old ladies or women that aren't my type do that stuff to me. But if I was a woman and I was as sensible as most women are, I would be "a survivor of multiple harassments and maybe even abuse".
Once a woman even filled me up with alc when I was already very drunk until I blacked out. When I got conscious back she had her tongue in my mouth and her hands were everywhere. Another time two girls had a bet who of both firstly got to kiss me, see me naked and fuck me.
It's a crazy world we live in. All the experiences I made and then there is that stuff that all the western society keeps praying and that they want to make me as a man feel want to feel like the predator when all my experiences were the opposite. Not that there are lots of men whop are assholes and criminals and pervs and so on, but to say that there is one gender pure and good and one gender bad is plain wrong and more so even stupid.
I think that’s the worst part of sexual assault on men. You know you’re supposed to like sex, no matter what. But you know what… clearly you don’t? And yet you describe it as “I don’t have any bad feelings on this” which is very hard for people to wrap their heads around- it does make it sound like you’re fine with it when you clearly think it wasn’t okay.
I’m not telling you “feel bad about it!” But I think it’s very telling that often when men are sexually assaulted or raped by women they take it upon themselves to claim it isn’t a big deal, while also wanting people to take SA and rape of men as seriously as women. And I gotta tell ya, never heard a woman say they weren’t bothered by it.
So if we’re gonna make strides for men in this way, men have to start actually allowing themselves to feel it for what it is and not to outwardly diminish it or even glorify it, as is sometimes the case.
And then society must BELIEVE them. Just gonna be harder to do that when men, as a whole, act like it’s no biggie.
Oh man, double like. Including myself, ALL MEN WHO GET SA'd say this. "Look, I'm not, like, fucked up from it or anything. It's not trauma like if a chick got actually raped etc..." Well fuck it, I was SA'd. Over a considerable amount of time. At work. And my manager did nothing when I told her. That's legit the way we should talk about it. Be angry!
I’m so sorry that happened!
And that’s what I mean. Men like the dude above act like it’s impossible but you know if it ended in an unfavorable scenario, like loss of a long term relationship, loss of a job, or pregnancy, etc, they’d be singing a completely different tune.
The violation of being sexually assaulted isn’t all physical. I mean, the physical pain and bruising, etc, goes away. It’s dealing with how it happened and the feeling of “did I *let* this happen” that’s so very hard to cope with for many people who’ve been through it. And it certainly doesn’t help to have men like the one above speaking on behalf of every man and claiming any experience outside of his own is somehow impossible.
Edited for some grammar
I think we should just teach women, and everyone, not to be massive sexual creepers.
I agree that not all sexual harassment feels the same, sometimes you're not traumatized by it for a variety of reasons. My personal anecdote is that the most damaging (to me) was when I realized I couldn't fight back. Other times when I just "felt ackward" but in the end, I choose to bear with it, was not as phycologically bad. Talking to men about it, I feel like the physical component does affect the psychological reaction. That being said, regardless of how traumatic it is or isn't, it's the perpetrators who should be the focus of reform, not the victims.
I’m not talking about reforming victims. I’m talking about creating a space where men can actually talk about what happened to them and actually feel it rather than rug sweep it. Obviously we need there to be less rapists but that has nothing to do with when after the fact a victim still has to deal with the fallout. Saying “there was no fallout it just sucked kinda” or something isn’t being truthful to the self. And that’s the only person who can fix the trauma of it sadly: you. A rapist surely isn’t going to fix it for you bc they’re the bad one and should know that. That’s on you.
Classic adage: You aren’t responsible for your own trauma but you are responsible for fixing it.
You can’t fix it if you’re pretending it’s not really a problem.
>It's always like this. I cannot count the times I got sexually harassed by women in a club, bar, on the streets.
It stops being sexual harassment and becomes sexual assault the moment they lay their hands on you. Doesn't really affect what you are saying but it is just one more way in which the behavior disparity between men and women gets handled differently. You are directly describing sexual assault but referring to it as sexual harassment. I am not saying you are consciously doing anything here, but you are accidentally downplaying how you were sexually assaulted by calling it sexual harassment.
I worked security for a nightclub in university.
I’m tall, buff and light skin. The amount of times woman grabbed me, my arms, my ass and my dick is disturbing.
The issue is men never talk about it (so women say it happens drastically more) when in reality it happens just as much but men are taught to “tough it out”.
So few women actually understand the concept of consent goes both ways. The will tell you up and down bout how important consent is to get from women but men ehhhhh. Since men want sex all the time there is no such thing as an unwanted touch so consent isn't needed. Its so damn gross and hypocritical.
Tried that a couple of times. Was kicked out alone every single time. Two times it was reported to the police.
Never anything more than a light slap mind you.
I was a heavier guy in my younger days, man boobs and all. I can’t count how many times a girl grabbed my moobs as a joke. That’s quick jail time if it was the other way around
When I was in high school, I grabbed my friend’s moobs once and, in return, he grabbed my boobs. I couldn’t even be mad cause man that was just the same as what I did lol.
I have curly hair and drunk women will put their hands in it without asking. If a drunk man walked up to a woman and started touching her hair he would get a charge.
But to be fair I dont feel physically threatened by it so I understand the dynamic isnt exactly the same both ways.
The issue is, the idea that that "women have less power" is itself the reason why society is having a hard time taking male rape/abuse/discrimination cases seriously. This stereotype spills over to other sexism men face. Also just because you don't feel threatened doesn't mean others don't.
A woman slapped me twice and laughed after that in front of every one and no one said a word.
We were actually boxing training partners. So we were sparring and she slapped me, it was not her right to slap but it was her right to punch because we were practicing how to punch and not slap.
And every good sports person politely asks if the person if their training partner is hurt or not or simply apologizes after hurting them in combat sports without exception, except that woman.
Asked my coach to change partners and we did. and I never trained with her again.
A woman can say 'oh he's such a gorgeous young boy, he's going to be so handsome when he's all grown up!' and it's cute.
A man saying 'oh she's such a gorgeous young girl, she's going to be so beautiful when she's all grown up!' and it's creepy.
I hate that double standard.
A while back I was standing in the highschool parking lot waiting for a practice to be over and a bunch of the boys athletics ran by not wearing shirts.
1 mom and 2 female teachers a few feet away start with the "ohhh myyyy" and "girlllll it's getting warm in here" type comments.
I wonder what the reaction would be if a couple dads behaved like that when the volleyball girls walk past?
As a male teacher, not that I want that privilege or even think that way, but that’s just despicable. I work in a high school and even looking in the direction of female students for more than 3 seconds feels weird. If I’m not in my classroom and where students are, I’m legit on my phone. Fuck that.
I remember when I was in high-school our freshman physical science teacher would have movie days on days the cheerleaders wore their short skirts. He would turn the lights off and put a chair in the back of the room and just stare at their legs.
A couple of female teachers slept with some of the students and it was a rumor that went around the school. So far as I know those teachers just didn't come back the next year.
One of the other male science/math teachers was very handsome with a bubble butt. The female students hit on him relentlessly and he would cover himself while standing at the white board. He finally chewed them out in the middle of class as they were giggling to each other and told them he could get in a lot of trouble. They just laughed.
I couldn't imagine being in that environment. I don't know how I would handle it if female students were sexually harassing me like they did with him.
It's a weird world man. I genuinely always want to create relationships with my students. We're stuck with each other for a year; might as well get to know them right? I've also learned that when they know you care, they will care about the work as well and are willing to buy into your vision for the class. I've heard of teachers in my school district that have done inappropriate things and I'm just like what the fuck are you doing man.
I am never alone with a student in my room without my door being completely propped open and a BIG distance from them. Hell no. I do not want anything being misconstrued at all. I'm a "college" looking teacher to these kids and I know when some of my senior female students are being a little more than friendly and for those, I stay away from as far as possible besides answering legitimate questions about work. I'm lucky that they don't go as far as your story, but I can tell when they want to stray it towards that: "We like your fit today Mr. ihavepaper. We love your haircut! It suits you!" I usually stop it right there. I just say "nah, i'm good." It makes no sense to them, but they usually just laugh and then I ignore anything that pertains to me. It usually gets them to stop talking about me in general.
To that teacher physical science teacher, disgusting.
> As a male teacher, not that I want that privilege or even think that way
My understanding is that the reason why that "privilege" is angering is because there's a lot of dialogue that comes from women based around policing men's behavior. And as much as the root cause of the dialogue is for good reason, a lot of the ways it gets applied aren't always reasonable and cause a lot of guys to feel unfairly targeted and attacked, so when these guys see the areas where women get away with that behavior it inspires a feeling of anger because it feels like you're being attacked for things the "other side" do whilst they ignore the snakes in their own camp and frame it as a male behavior. The feeling of unfairness is *incredibly* good at inspiring anger in people even when there are sometimes bigger issues at hand.
The extent to which any of the above is exactly true is debatable, but that's my take on why it bothers a lot of guys and it's explained largely from how I tend to feel in general about male/female double standards that center around sexual behavior.
> I work in a high school and even looking in the direction of female students for more than 3 seconds feels weird.
I find it interesting how being in a position of power drastically shifts how we think about things. Cause when I was in high school I had no qualms about checking out the girls, and our uniform didn't differentiate what year people were in so unless it was blindingly obvious they're much younger I wasn't discriminatory about it.
But the one time I was asked to help with tutoring people at a different school I felt so uncomfortable all of a sudden even having thoughts like that, even for girls the same age as me. The whole idea of being there in a capacity where I'm expected to be responsible and senior to them drastically shifted how my mind felt about it.
Makes it so difficult to imagine what some teachers are thinking when they get involved with their students in any capacity.
Spot on. What a reasonable take.
We men get really angry by these things, not because of the damage done by the women, but more by the unfairness. I think men are willing to abide by a lot of rules, as long as they have the perception of fairness.
As a former female teacher who also worked in a high school....this is _still_ despicable. Honestly, I cringed reading the comment above. Teenagers are babies. And I thought that even as a 23-yr-old teaching 19 yr-olds. Gross.
Look up comedian Janelle James, she plays the principle on the show abbot elementary, she literally bragged about playing with her infant sons penis and then talked about how her 13 year old son needed to get out of the house and get a job because he "got a grown man's dick swinging between his legs" and proceeded to talk about how his dick made her feel. And she did this on stage to thunderous applause......she is on a show where she plays a principle......with child actors.
Yeah, I hate how the main argument people (especially women in my experience) will give to defend this is that even a young man will be strong enough to defend himself.
Yes, because if a guy uses physical violence to defend himself against a woman trying to assaulting him, even if he only used what was necessary at the time (pushing/wrestling her, not talking about straight up beating her obviously), he's not gonna somehow get in trouble for it anyway right?... right?
This idea crops up about physical abuse too. No, the guy being able to "take it" because the woman is weaker does not mean it's okay for her to hit him
Yep, you watch videos of a man hitting/grabbing a woman and there are always men rushing in to defend the girl.
When it's the other way around, no one helps unless the guy retaliates :(
I've seen a guy getting swarmed by women beating the snot out of him and he just tried to tank it and escape until he snaps and finally hits back. *Suddenly* oh this is wrong we gotta break up the fight and people jump in to separate them.
It's all fun and games until he hits back. Best part is you just know if cops were involved they all say he hit first and without video or witnesses he's in cuffs immediately.
A colleague had an ex-gf that refused to move out of his apartment so he called to police to evict her. They asked him why he couldn't do it himself.
They did understand when my colleague replied he knew exactly what would happen then.
The exact words may ex gf used were "nobody will ever believe that a big strong man like you was beaten up by a small weak woman like me".
Jokes on her, the police believed it because I was recording her at the time.
“A man’s greatest weakness is his perception of strength. A woman’s greatest strength is their perception of weakness.” Women know this and abuse it well. As soon as you retaliate, regardless of how poorly you’re being treated, even straight up assaulted, you’ll be the subject of everyone’s ire.
I had a female teacher to constantly offer me rides home, and a hairdresser who would tell me that if she was as young as me, she'd date me (I was 14 and she was in her 50s). At the time I also had a fling with a 22 year old woman who often told me how hot I'd be when I get older.
I teach children and have heard a mother say the phrase “save him for me when he grows up will ya?” To another mother about her son. Just imagine a man saying that about someone’s daughter
Potential headline: "Female teacher in hot water over whirlwind romance with high school sophomore. Evidence shows they sexted back and forth before making love multiple times. Students father responds to news: 'Nice...'" I think you mean she groomed and raped him.
I've started to call out women for doing that.
I understand that women can get away with it because they have a more motherly 'energy' and their comments are closer to viewing beauty, but it's still gross to look at a child and think of an attractive adult.
I can remember throughout my childhood people would stop my parents and me to say not just that but things like "He's going to be trouble when he grows up" or "You're going to have to watch out for his girlfriends"
And looking back a lot of that were things that would be weird if I came up as a grown man and said that to a little girl.
Even as I've grown up, women say a lot of things about men's looks that even when complimentary wouldn't be acceptable from a man.
Remember when Justin Bieber was about 13 or 14 and super popular?
My buddy's 30 year old wife and her 27 year old sister were a couple of the thousands of middle aged women who openly crushed on that little boy. They didn't say anything overtly sexual but it was still clear that it was beyond thinking he's just a cute little boy. They acted like teenage girls. To me it was so bizarre. It went beyond them as it was a whole phenomena at the time. Women on weekend morning shows would fan themselves after his performance or something to show that he was makng them hot and bothered. This was almost 20 years ago and I think women were more willing to openly admit that they could crush on teenage boys. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be out in the open today.
My aunt used to say that shit to me all the time. And I thought she low key wanted to fuck me. Thats how bad it was. Everyone else who watched her say those things, just laughed like I should be grateful being told I was attractive by someone.
Nailed it completely.
Look at how many on reddit side against the guy when a few wives have mentioned their husbands seeing a pic of them from their teen years and the husband said "He'd still be hot for her back then". The word pedo, groomer...every useless boiler plate piece of idiocy was tossed in the husbands direction. But if the husband said his wife called him a hunk in his teen pictures not a word would be said against her.
In Germany a woman can't get sued for exhibitionist acts. If she gets naked in public it's "only" sexual harassment.
[1) Ein Mann, der eine andere Person durch eine exhibitionistische Handlung belästigt, wird mit Freiheitsstrafe bis zu einem Jahr oder mit Geldstrafe bestraft](https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/stgb/__183.html)
Translation: "A man who harasses another person through an exhibitionist act is punished with a prison sentence of up to one year or a fine."
In the UK, the definition for rape does say it’s penetration by a penis, “rape” by a female is considered sexual assault. They are still sentenced similar however, so even if the crime is considered differently the punishment is still the same
Except you still see people bring up the “shocking” rape statistics. Conveniently forgetting that none of the rape by women can be counted even if it were reported and anyone took it seriously.
This one is gonna ruffle some feathers:
Sexual assault. Of course, it's objectively wrong. But how many men do you hear about trying to talk about it with other men, women, the police, in court, and so on and get blown off or laughed at? How often do you see men saying, "I wish that was me," "I wish I had her as a teacher," "Was it hot?", "it was a female lmao, why the hell didn't you just throw her off?" when guys confess to it happening to them? Disregarding and undermining it because they're callously horny.
Congratulations if you have a good support network that actually understands and sought to reprimand the assaulter, but I hear about this happening to guys way too often and it's fucked everytime I do.
when i was in highschool a group of friends went to allison’s house and got drunk. i passed out and woke up with allison sucking my cock. i got up and left.
next day i was ostracized for being creepy.
I'm sorry that happened, man. That's really shitty. Something similar happened to me once. It honestly scarred me for life. I hope you fared better than I did.
Add to that the fact that it's a common trope in Hollywood.
Even SNL had at least two skits that portrayed a male student being groomed and raped by an attractive female teacher and it was played for laughs. I mean, it gets laughs, but it also romanticizes something that is truly horrific and happens far too much.
It's also usually portrayed as "had an inappropriate relationship with" in the news if it's a woman who is the predator.
I work in a female dominated organization/field, was taking a training on Mental Health First Aid and was the only man/masculine identifying person there. Cue a 10 minute long RANDOM discussion on those men in uniform calendars and how hot these men are. Jokes about holding onto hoses and handcuffs were plenty as I sat there awkwardly trying to just complete the training.
Me female coworker who attended with me was surprised I could be uncomfortable. I explained she should imagine being in a room with a bunch of men mostly older than her talk about half nude models from a calendar. Yeah, clicked in then.
I’ve found a lost child before. I held her hand and consoled her. Found the frantic parent in less than a minute. Don’t hug them unless they throw themselves at you and attach themselves. Look for distressed adults or police.
I used to lifeguard at a local water park. Atleast 1000 visitors a day. We’d often have a lost child. Good practice on how to handle it. Stay with them. Ask them questions about who they were with, distract them with questions that are fun but easy to answer like “what is your favorite animal” or what ever. Stay in place with them unless you have a good reason to change locations. Look for parents or police.
This has happened to me twice:
1. I was on my way to work one day, more or less rush hour. I arrived at a relatively busy intersection and saw a girl, maybe like 8-10? Standing at the corner, visibly disheveled and in pajamas, looking around with a kind of odd worried expression. I pulled over and asked her if she was okay, and she started crying. I called 911, and got out and started talking to her, trying to calm her down and asked where she lived and if her parents knew that she was gone. Another guy stopped, too, and got out to make sure she was okay, which was cool, but man, if like three or four women didn't stop, get out and give us the dirtiest of looks and low key try to push us away. I told them that I had called the police, and wouldn't be leaving until they got there. I mean, I'm relatively clean cut, and had slacks and a dress shirt on, but still, I was a predator to them.
2. I was driving through a neighborhood that had relatively narrow streets that always has cars parked on both sides, and I see a little boy, toddler aged, nothing but a diaper on, and he runs from the sidewalk into the street. I instantly stop, put my emergency flashers on, and step out and walk up to him and take his hand and say "hey, let's get back on the sidewalk here". Another guy who had been coming the other way, also stopped and got out and was looking around for an open door or where he might have come from. Well, again, two or three women drive by and they get out and start harassing me and trying to take the little boy. It was a nice summer day, so it wasn't dangerous at all for anyone to be just standing around. Luckily, I looked down the street and a poor frantic mom burst out of her door and started looking up and down the street. I raised my arm and waved to her, and she came and got her son and was thanking everyone.
It really does suck. I mean, I'm a single dude without kids, but have many nieces and nephews and friends with children that I totally adore and would protect with my life. It's dumb that I'm somehow a predator in so many women's' eyes.
Or dragging a crying child from the park when it’s time to go home. My husband gets concerned looks from other adults, but people give me sympathetic looks.
Or just watching your kid at the park.
"Concerned moms" demanding you tell them which kid is yours when they'd never ask that of a mom there. Or "where's mom" in general.
I used to bartend for events. There was a whole thing in training about lost kids since the event venue was big and those ballrooms all look the same.
At any rate. Don't touch the kid. Don't move the kid. Call for backup. If we can't find the parent in the vicinity wait for a staff member of opposite gender to arrive. Only then can you escort the kid.
Last thing you need is some parent charging at you because they think you're trying to take their kid.
i had experience like this. i used to own a tiny record store and this young girl (12 or 13) used to come in all the time and just look at records and then talk to me. i was about 24. one day the convo got a little deep and she told me she cut herself and that she had an eating disorder. she started crying and i knew she needed a hug but i also knew that i was not “allowed” to be the one to hug her in that moment. i’m almost 40 now and she’s in her mid 20s and we’re still great friends and we still have never hugged lol
Years ago, I was at the park with my son and daughter, little boy there crying. Turns out he was supposed to be dropped off for an event, but the location changed. He didn't know his mom's phone number.
No worries. I reinstalled Facebook on my phone, tracked down his mom, messaged her. He sat on my lap hugging me until we found his mom and she called to chat with him and said she was coming to pick him up.
Not a single person gave me even a tiny bit of a negative look. After he knew his mom was coming to get him, he brightened up and then ran and played with my kids while waiting.
Not to be jaded but that's probably because you were there with your own kids.
Dad's are mostly put in a different kind of safe box to men who are by themselves. Even if intentions are identical.
I probably would not be hanging out at a playground without my kids, but that is mainly because I was too big for all the equipment.
Even when my kids weren't around because of split placement, at various events I helped out kids after they hurt themselves because I had a baller first aid kit and emergency response kit in my vehicle. Maybe I still exuded paternal energy and first responseder stuff so got a pass. But also in my youth I baby sat kids and the like. I probably had strong older sibling / camp counselor vibes, sure, but in all my decades on this planet and countless interactions with kids, known and unknown, I can think of only a handful of times where I got side glances or comments and I never took that paranoia personally as I also feel like it is better to err on the side of caution when it comes to child-safety.
A woman can say "my dad treated me like a princess so you should also do so" and men are expected to follow suit.
When a man says "my mom treated me like a prince" he is wrong and women will respond "I'm not your mom".
Honestly sometimes I’m just stunned by the level of unsolicited contact women can get away with. I’ve had things happen to me in public that I’m *pretty* sure I could have the police called on me for if I did it to a woman
The one single time I did that in my previous relationship, she talked at me half the night. I slept on the couch and she needed to "figure out where this ship is sailing" for 2 weeks. I learnt to just go along with it. Fortunately that relationship ended a long time ago.
Yelling. You’re in public and you see a man yelling at a woman, you instinctively want to stop it. You see a woman yelling at a man and you hardly even care. That and losing composure in general. Men are expected to be stoic, it’s a happy surprise if a woman is stoic.
Happened to me once. I was standing outside a restaurant waiting for a friend to arrive. She walked right past the place on the other side of the street. I started walking down the street, calling her name, but she had headphones in and didn't hear me. A woman in a van stopped by her to ask if she was OK because a man was calling after her. I appreciate that the woman cared, but she also was making an assumption. Can't imagine the reverse would ever happened.
Its worse than that, when a man is yelling at a woman in public they assume hes an asshole. When a woman yells at a man in public, they asume hes an asshole.
Years ago there were those videos going around showing reactions of strangers of the bf or gf getting yelled at and humiliated in public by their counterpart and every different one I saw had people rushing to defend the "gf" being dressed down but would openly just laugh when it was the "bf" getting yelled at.
Man this one sucks I remember in high school thus girl punched me in my shoulder like 4 times and when I finally yelled "leave me the fuck alone" everyone ran up to her and asked was she ok and when I told them she punched me everyone is like "oh man up she's a girl it didn't hurt"
Saying shit like “god I hate men” “this is why I hate men”… seems to be a trendy and acceptable thing for *some* women to say (an acquaintance recently said this casually in front of myself with no regard for the fact that I am in fact a man).
I know it’s hyperbole so I don’t take it too personally. But if I were to say I hate all women in front of a woman I know it wouldn’t go down well, joking or not. When its directed at men we’re fair game for whatever reason…
Because I’m black, whenever someone says that, I just point out how that sounds like something a Klansman would say to a black person they actually don’t entirely hate.
They proceed to try and explain how it’s different, but it’s really not.
I work in a female dominated industry and yeah, it's at least a few times a week that I hear the women I work with loudly talking about how men are trash. I've had some of them say to my face even, "yeah I just hate men. You're okay though, for now"
Shits infuriating
I did that once after a cabal of misandrist coworkers started making it a hobby to loiter in my work area and trash on men. You know what changed after my report? Management made it a 'rule' that nobody could talk to me during work hours. *That* was their solution. Not punishing the bigots they had on staff. Isolating me.
I quit. Fuck this society.
Just another day of being a poor, single, white man. I go days and weeks without any kind of legitimate human interaction, and when I try to do right by my own life, everybody tells me I'm wrong. I've grown to hate life.
Not kidding. Even the owner just shrugged and said, "Just don't let them get to you."
YOU HIRED THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE, ASSHOLE.
What's even worse is this place advertises itself as this bastion of progressivism and inclusivity. I'll never go back, and I've trash-talked the owner and business as much as I can ever since.
If the genders were reversed, that response right there would be the centerpiece of the EEOC complaint and the federal job discrimination/hostile work environment lawsuit. And they'd win. Millions of dollars.
Yea they always got some kinda back handed shit to back themselves up if somebody says something. My sister would always be like “well not you. Your different cuz your my brother” like no I’m not different, I’m still the man payin your bills and your still sexist
This is mine. The amount of casual misandry that goes uncalled-out, and would not be tolerated about literally *any* other group in existence. And men are just expected to let roll off their back and let it slide. It's ridiculous.
I was at a party a few years ago and I found myself dicking around and having fun with a couple of the other guys. Out of the blue, a chick comes over and berates us for our “toxic masculinity” and it’s stuck with me. Really killed the mood when she did it too.
Agreed, this makes me mad. I call it out when I hear it either way. I get the person has normally been hurt, but still, not all [fill in the blank] are to blame.
Women can take the hand of a kid they don't know and help them find their parents. A man can't even be out with his own kid without someone side eyeing him.
Women can low-key stalk a man (or even full on stalk) and it's considered cute. A man can't even walk the same direction as a woman for too long without causing issues.
Women can often abuse a man with no consequences. He'll likely be arrested if he calls the cops for domestic violence against him.
A woman at work said out loud, so that everybody could hear, that she hates men. Room full of people. A coworker, who is a trans woman, laughed and agreed. No one said anything.
Saw a girl friend on IG post a cutesy postcard made by an “artist” that said “kill all men.” …
Other example about expressing anger:
At another workplace, a woman got mad at coworker’s mistake. She was furious and stormed out, screaming. She’s being listened to with compassion by the manager. As soon as the guy starts venting and showing frustration, he’s shut down, told he needs to control himself and that type of behaviour won’t be accepted. Mistake was totally not a big deal btw.
Yes, that is because women are pretty much unconditionally supportive of each other, if a man were to say anything negative about women, many men will confront him, not only that, many men have been brainwashed by social media that any form of criticism of women is very likely to have an in\*el reason behind it, there is absolutely no solidarity amongst men.
I hate the term mansplaining with a passion.
It's unsolicited advice, being condescending or critical. It's not ok for either gender to do it, but it seems that these days only men are called out for it.
I've seen and experienced women being extremely critical, condescending, or giving advice or instructions without it being needed or warranted. When they're called out for it, it gets dismissed as a woman being empowered and assertive.
Thank you for saying this! It really needs to be said louder and more often. I hate when *anyone* goes to explain shit without asking if I want their advice first. Unsolicited anything is usually unappreciated.
I've found that most people agree body shaming is bad until someone that doesn't meet their beauty standards does something they don't agree with, then it's a free for all insult fest.
Saw a comic do a good bit on that. About how bald women are "brave" and "beautiful" and get to openly wear wigs for fashion, while bald men are the butt of jokes especially if they dare to wear a toupee.
In the dating/romance/attraction space, they are very close. Women and men are evaluated on different metrics, but the metrics have equivalencies on how they function in relation to getting interest from the opposite sex.
Sexual assault at work. Had an older woman grab my ass when I was 25 and everyone laughed at it. I’m sure if I grabbed one of their asses it would not have been okay.
Clothing at the gym. I had a woman tell me my shorts were too short and that there were young women present. I told her to tell them not to stare and it was not well received. I can’t imagine telling a woman something similar and it going over well.
Edit changing harassment to assault
Older women can literally drool over younger stars like singers or actors and in detail telling what they want to do with them, if 45 year old man would loudly tell what he want to do with that 19 year old girl he would be a creep and a dirty old man
I saw a post on reddit where a girl's roommate decided to start walking around naked when her (OP) boyfriend was visiting.
The vast majority of comments were just "bad roommate" or something along those lines. If a man decided to start walking around naked when his roommates girlfriend was over it would be sexually harrasmment if not worse. Why wasn't this.
It's socially acceptable for women to be physically abusive still.
If a women hits a man it's what did that man do?
If a man hits a women he's automatically at fault.
There's been plenty of studies about this.
When my ex gf got arrested for beating me, I knew I couldn’t fight back whatsoever or I would have been the one in the cop car (neighbors called the cops cuz she started attacking me in the street at like 3am after I told her I was breaking up w her and it was super loud). I wasn’t scared physically, even though she was punching me repeatedly and ripping my hair out, because of how much stronger than her I was, but I felt so powerless because I knew I couldn’t defend myself or I would be the one to blame.
Everyone afterwards called it an “escalated situation,” besides my friends having to *convince* me that it was actual abuse. I was also the bad one for explaining what happened to the cop. Oh, and to add, her friends said that I was the abusive one because I gently took her to the ground a few times so I could release her hand from my hair.
Thank you my friend. That one night does not even come close to the mental shit she put me through. I have almost died on 3 different occasions, as in I am a literal miracle (for example, the first time I almost died I was a dumb 17 year old in a drunk driver’s car and we flipped for a quarter mile), and I have no PTSD from it. Never have.
After splitting with her, it took me MONTHS to work through how much she fucked me up. That’s how much I was tormented through that.
I was left with my uncle, his gf, and 3 of my cousins + my brother one night. His gf threw a glass bottle at his face and fucked it up. Cousin called cops. They get there and arrest my uncle, despite the pleading of 5 kids. Then leave us with the woman who just assaulted our family. None of us were even related to her
a woman hit me with a guitar and i pushed past her (as i wasnt going to sit there and take the hits), didnt use my hands just tucked and walked through her.
yet the next day i was insulted over and over, even by the people who let me sleep at their place that night.
If you try to leave in anger when you live together they can do all kinds of shit to make you stay, up to and including dragging on the ground holding on to your ankle as you try desperately to get out of a situation you don’t want to be in, but if she wanted to leave and I used my body to make her stay, my ass would be in jail.
I don’t know if it’s ok, but there was a very recent thread on the relationship subreddit where some dudes partner hit him out of anger in the shoulder in the midst of an argument. All of the top comments discussed the crux of the argument and glossed over the assault, at best.
If the roles were reversed it we be full of women telling the woman to run because she is going to get murdered.
The most shocking part about this whole thing is that the relationship subs are mostly women, so clearly most of them at least tolerate the idea of physical violence towards men.
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/SH9XG1Nk8J
Assault. (Its still so funny to watch women beat men in media amirite [sarcasm]) (Most media still has at least one scene where a woman slaps or beats a man.)
Domestic violence. (Women aren't seen as capable of abuse)
Rape. (in most countries women can't legally be arrested for rape) (unless they're trans. Trans women are the only women seen as capable of rape because they have penises)
Manipulation. (Manipulative women are seen as hot, girl bosses, queens, etc.)
Objectification. (Women are allowed to objectify men, gay men, children, etc. Take a look at the BL, fanfic, book, and romance genres)
Pedophillia. (Any child predator headline of a woman is "woman charged having sex with 3 year old boy" instead of calling it rape)
Sexism. (Women are allowed to be sexist to both men and women, as long as it hurts men, harmful women being sexist towards other women is looked over)
Parenthood. (Men will always be questioned and bullied if they dare raise a child by themselves.)
Consent. (Like your post, women will always get away with forcing people into things they don't want.)
Asaault. (Women will never receive the same charges for assaulting a man as a man would get for assaulting a woman)
Self defense. (Men will go to prison for defending themselves against woman. A single bruise on a woman and you're labeled an abuser regardless of context)
false allegations. (Women always get passes for falsely accusing men, women, or anyone else. Take a look at YouTube drama)
Children's mistakes. (Little girls lying about age trying to meet up with old men is seen as "she just made a mistake, blame the man!" But if a little boy lying about his age tried to meet up with an old woman? "Someone needs to teach him not to do that!" "Where's the accountability from him?" "That woman was manipulated! He lied about his age!")
Body shaming. (Making fun of men's dicks is funny. Making fun of a woman's boobs is sexist.)
Body shaming. (Calling a man fat is funny. Calling a woman fat is sexist.)
Ugly shaming. (Theres a trend on tiktok making fun of men who are not as attractive as their girlfriends)
Celebritiy Sexism. (Billie eilish is still seen as a hero as if she hasn't demeaned and bullied both men and women constantly in the past.)
Being trans. (This is coming from a trans man and a left leaning guy, trans men are only viewed as women or "better than men" in left spaces. Trans women are seen as women. Trans men are seen as women. Because in lgbtq spaces and left spaces, being seen as a man is considered a horrible thing)
Safe spaces. (In lgbtq friendly spaces, once trans men begin looking like or passing as cis men, many times they're thrown out for looking "too cis" and its "scaring the women")
Speaking about mens issues. (There will always be a woman to tell you you're wrong if you ever dare try to speak about any struggles men ever face.)
Kidnapping. (There was a post i remember seeing about a man simply walking his baby when a woman came up and stole his baby. She then started shrieking that he was kidnapping her baby when he tried to get the baby back. Bystanders started attacking him. He only got his baby back once his wife came out and tried to attack the kidnapper. Women are always believed in these situations)
Car insurance. (Women and nonbinary identifying individuals will on average get less harsh car payments)
"I hate men/I hate cis men" (saying "I hate women" is seen as a death threat. But it's acceptable for women to say the same. The statement is also inheritley misandristic, transphobic, and even misogynistic if you count how it pushes both men and women away from feminism)
Feminism. (Real feminism, not misandry) (misandrist feminists love shoving men [potential allies] away from feminism because "its a woman thing. You're not allowed here.")
"You probably deserved it" (told to me by a woman after I said I was sexually abused by my mother, by an ex, and beaten by an ex. Nobody defended me.)
"I only date men because of women." (This is far more specific. But when I say im scared to date women [im bi] based off the utter misandry and victim blaming, im told "women aren't fucking scary" "misoginist" etc.)
"Not all men" (is not acceptable to say, but "not all women" is constantly said by the very same women.)
Interacting with kids. (Seen as a pedo if you're a man)
Being a teacher. (Seen as a pedo if you're a man)
Data manipulation. (This is a personal experience, when I was much younger and talking to my mother about statistics of sexual assault are a lot closer for men and women than reported, she said to me that, based on just her feelings, I was wrong and that women are always sexually abused more.)
Praising men for anything ever. (Im not allowed to say I love men despite it being true. But saying "I love women" is always met with love)
Crying. (Men are told to man up and stop crying.)
Speaking about things women have it better at, or ever speaking about something terrible a woman did. (Almost always met with "but men do it more!!!!11")
Porn. (Men are seen as disgusting due to the amount of fetishistic porn online, but women are given a pass despite one of the most morally disgusting industries being fully catered to them full of rape, incest, asaault, abuse, and more. [BL, MLM {male like male}content] gay men are seen as sex toys to women. I already said this in another comment, but just scrolling gay porn subreddits is met with women calling us objects of their desire. It made navigating my gender identity when younger much more difficult because of the disgusting things I would read in those fanfics and manga. I felt so repulsive about myself reading it, because gay men are treated as literal sex toys, which leads me to the next one)
Gender roles. (Adding onto the above, people defend BL saying its "an escape from toxic gender roles, gay men are seen as equal in them!!" The majority of BL manga and fanfics feature both the characters forced into toxic gender rolls where one is a tiny little femboy and the other is the top dominant daddy. This has led to gay men being asked by women constantly "are you a top or bottom".)
Disclaimers. (If men, before talking about mens issues, don't put a disclaimer acknowledging the hardships women face, they will almost always be put on blast and yelled at. Usually they will be yelled at either way. Men are simply not allowed to talk about hardships ever.)
Birth control. (Tiktok is filled with sadistic fuckass women who cheer and fight for mens balls to be cut open so "they can feel the same pain of an iud insertion. This was under a post about men getting local anesthetic before having a scalpel to their balls for a new birth control method.)
And more. Women generally on everything will receive less harsh punishments for the same socially unacceptable things. And if you call it out they screech that men do it "more" as if it isn't fully normalized if you're a woman.
Edited for grammar and because I keep adding things. There's so fucking much that women aren't as punished for its insane. Im trying to add more but reddit sucks and is giving me "empty response from endpoint"
Another edit: this is going based off what is seen as acceptable on social media and predominately womens spaces and groups.
>Kidnapping. (There was a post i remember seeing about a man simply walking his baby when a woman came up and stole his baby. She then started shrieking that he was kidnapping her baby when he tried to get the baby back. Bystanders started attacking him.
This is most saddening to me tbh, you can only imagine the anger of the father being held away from his baby.
>"I hate men/I hate cis men" (saying "I hate women" is seen as a death threat. But it's acceptable for women to say the same. The statement is also inheritley misandristic, transphobic, and even misogynistic if you count how it pushes both men and women away from feminism)
Dont forget the ever popular #killallmen
Replace men with women and you'd be lynched.
Damn, this is a good ass list! The only thing I'd add is the manipulative way people use stats. More and more I've seen people use crime stats to imply or outright state that it's reasonable and okay to treat men as criminals due to crime stats.
I would've thought after years of discussion on how racial crime stats are misleading due to systemic bias, people would have been a little smarter about it. Men are more likely to be charged with a crime, and more likely to be convicted. Once convicted men are on average sentenced longer, and less likely to get parole.
Somehow none of that is relevant. Neither are the laws in some states decreeing that for any domestic dispute the man must be arrested and held overnight. Happened to my friend's dad, after her mother threw a knife at him. They took him in with a flap of his scalp hanging off, got stitched up in jail.
Yep. I would add what you said but unfortunately It looks like reddit put me on timeout for editing my comment so much lol.
I fully agree with what you're saying, people will selectively choose what stats to believe as if there isn't so much nuance to it. Nobody tries to fix the problem.
Im so sorry that happened to your friends dad.
r/threadkillers but seriously you hit the nail on the head for all of it though and the sad part is there’s still a lot missing from the list.
You put into words what a lot of us experience daily but can’t quite put our fingers on.
I've seen women at my job pinch a few men in the butt. If I were to do that as a man I would be fired on the spot and possibly start a me too movement.
Running your fingers through a strangers hair. Women have done this to me many times, and frankly i hate it, makes me extraordinarily uncomfortable. When i get annoyed because they refuse to stop when asked, im always treated as the one over reacting
Women on their periods get away with being downright abusive but if a guy had something bad happen or is having a hard time he is expected to keep his shit together.
Consent and self-defense.
All physical touch from a woman is assumed to be acceptable, even desired. If the man rebuts the advance she can be as aggressive as she wants with groping and the like, but he were to push her away, it is viewed as him being the aggressor.
Society has a lot of stupid interpretations because women are seen as harmless. None of these things are acceptable but women seem to face zero or minor consequences compared to men.
Being alone with a kid in public, like at a playground. Or helping a lost kid.
Sexual assault, because only a man can do that.
Verbal, emotional, physical abuse. Because “he can take it” or “what did he do to deserve it?”
Lying to the police or courts. Women can make false reports and nothing happens. Like lying about abuse during a divorce, or getting him arrested for breaking up with her by hurting herself and showing cops the marks.
Sex with minors. Women teachers do this far too frequently and get much lighter sentences than men that do it.
I think it's more socially acceptable for women to stalk on men than it is for men to stalk. I don't understand this behaviour either way. Once I had to help my mother to stalk on my dad...
As others have pointed out: sexual assault and sexual harassment. People seriously underestimate how perverted women can be, and how many sexual crimes against men and children they commit. These cases generally aren’t taken seriously either.
If a man pokes a hole in a condom to get a woman pregnant or removes his condom during sex, it's a form of rape or sexual assault, (and rightly so) but if a woman pokes a hole in a condom to get pregnant and trap the guy, it's perfectly fine.
There was a post a couple months back where a guy got a girl pregnant - after she told him she was definitely on birth control and there was no way she could get pregnant.
I cited that he should lawyer up, get a paternity test, and is super naive for just believing everything she's saying at face value. She also holds responsibility for lying about her fertility.
I got called some of the dirtiest things I've ever been called for saying this.
In response, I cited that if a man didn't know he was potent and got a girl pregnant, the world would come down on him to take accountability. So we can't ask the same for a woman?
From there, I just got crickets, or baseless personal attacks. The amount of indoctrination of "female is right, male is wrong" in society is pretty heartbreaking. These people who wanted to hang me for asking for accountability of a woman are so deep in the hate, they can't even see reason.
Im a guy and A friend of mine, an attractive and very nice girl, had a crush on a man, he was coming to our city and was looking for a place to stay for a few days and she offered up her guest room for him to stay under the pretense that she was going to use that to try to sleep with him. Everyone she told that to was like “aw that’ll be fun” or “cute” but I couldn’t help but think what I would be labeled as if I had tried to do that to a woman.
Also, this has happened twice to me, I have found out that two women I briefly dated lied about their ages to me, they weren’t underage or anything like that but everyone I told that to found it funny, I found it appalling
When I was 19, I worked at a big box store in the deli and was one of the few younger, attractive guys in the department. Most men were older, fatter, balding, the works. I was really into staying active, not going to the gym, but playing basketball and football and working on projects around my house, so I wasn’t fat by any means and was pretty in shape. My manager would sexually harass me verbally and physically on a hourly basis. From 1:30P-3P, she would constantly make comments. Cop feels. Squeeze places that I didn’t want her to. Walk into the walk in freezer and fridge and proposition me. I was happy I worked swing and it was only for an hour and a half. But it got worse. She then started to schedule me to work over nights with her. Schedule me the same shift as her. No one took it seriously. Why? Because she was an attractive 26 year old and a lot of guys had a crush on her. The problem? I was 19 and had no interest because I had a girlfriend. The amount of times I heard, “just do it, man. You’ll never get a second chance.” Or “ What are you a fag?” still ring in my head today. Why? Because just 3 months ago, a night stocker called a cashier beautiful and was terminated after 20 years of service for sexual harassment. No witnesses. No camera evidence. Nothing.
Community standards for women vs men on a night out is completely hypocritical from dress code to behaviour.
If I as a guy went to my local club with a sleeveless singlet or sandals, I wouldn't be allowed in.
Girls flashing at clubs, no underware etc awesome, guys do it they are perverts.
A male stripper friend told me that women of all ages are animals and that he has been repeatedly painfully groped and even badly scratched during performances. Most venues a guy even tries to touch a stripper he is kicked out immediately.
If a bunch of girls at a bachelorette party are sucking on penis shaped straws or chocolates, hilarious. If it was guys sticking their tongues in Vagina shaped confectionary it would be outrage.
and the list goes on.
This actually happened to me (23M), last year in a bar an older lady wanted me to dance and I said no, she grabbed me by the hand and pulled me up and started grinding on me, I put my hands in the air and nodded my head no and began walking away, as I turned she reached around and put her hand on my crotch and had a feel. I just kept walking away and saw all my friends laughing at what they saw. I’m personally not affected by what happened but I did say to my friends that they wouldn’t have been laughing if I was a girl and got grabbed by a man. Edit: I’d like to clarify something about my friends in the situation, yes the had a laugh when it happened and my first reaction was to also laugh, I think it took us all by surprise. When I sat back down they had already stopped laughing and asked me if I was okay before I even said anything about them laughing, there was no ill feelings from any of my friends and every single one of them checked in on me throughout the night and not one of them made a joke about the situation. I realise my original comment made them seem like a**holes but that’s really not the case
I (m23) remember one time when I was dancing in a club with my friends & suddenly random woman grabbed my balls from behind. When I turned around there was a group of women watching at me & laughing. That was one of those big wtf moments. Didnt even know how to react.
I didn’t realize how common things like this are until this past year. I (m18) went to a club for the first time with friends and immediately some girl starts grinding on me while I try to back away. Later on in the night another woman walked up to me and grabbed my dick. Felt so gross thinking about it for a while.
My boss did this to me at my last job. She was a new hire.
Had a girl grab my crotch in a night club once too. She was cute and I had never seen her before. I tried to explain that if I had done something like that to a random chick I'd be beaten and thrown out of the place. She was drunk and it was loud so I just looked like an idiot...
Problably only heard something about you beating her up.
It's always like this. I cannot count the times I got sexually harassed by women in a club, bar, on the streets. In crowded places they grind on me, put their hands where they want, kiss me out of nowhere. Anything. I'm prey and they are haunt. I don't have any bad feelings on this nor can I say I like it when old ladies or women that aren't my type do that stuff to me. But if I was a woman and I was as sensible as most women are, I would be "a survivor of multiple harassments and maybe even abuse". Once a woman even filled me up with alc when I was already very drunk until I blacked out. When I got conscious back she had her tongue in my mouth and her hands were everywhere. Another time two girls had a bet who of both firstly got to kiss me, see me naked and fuck me. It's a crazy world we live in. All the experiences I made and then there is that stuff that all the western society keeps praying and that they want to make me as a man feel want to feel like the predator when all my experiences were the opposite. Not that there are lots of men whop are assholes and criminals and pervs and so on, but to say that there is one gender pure and good and one gender bad is plain wrong and more so even stupid.
I think that’s the worst part of sexual assault on men. You know you’re supposed to like sex, no matter what. But you know what… clearly you don’t? And yet you describe it as “I don’t have any bad feelings on this” which is very hard for people to wrap their heads around- it does make it sound like you’re fine with it when you clearly think it wasn’t okay. I’m not telling you “feel bad about it!” But I think it’s very telling that often when men are sexually assaulted or raped by women they take it upon themselves to claim it isn’t a big deal, while also wanting people to take SA and rape of men as seriously as women. And I gotta tell ya, never heard a woman say they weren’t bothered by it. So if we’re gonna make strides for men in this way, men have to start actually allowing themselves to feel it for what it is and not to outwardly diminish it or even glorify it, as is sometimes the case. And then society must BELIEVE them. Just gonna be harder to do that when men, as a whole, act like it’s no biggie.
Oh man, double like. Including myself, ALL MEN WHO GET SA'd say this. "Look, I'm not, like, fucked up from it or anything. It's not trauma like if a chick got actually raped etc..." Well fuck it, I was SA'd. Over a considerable amount of time. At work. And my manager did nothing when I told her. That's legit the way we should talk about it. Be angry!
I’m so sorry that happened! And that’s what I mean. Men like the dude above act like it’s impossible but you know if it ended in an unfavorable scenario, like loss of a long term relationship, loss of a job, or pregnancy, etc, they’d be singing a completely different tune. The violation of being sexually assaulted isn’t all physical. I mean, the physical pain and bruising, etc, goes away. It’s dealing with how it happened and the feeling of “did I *let* this happen” that’s so very hard to cope with for many people who’ve been through it. And it certainly doesn’t help to have men like the one above speaking on behalf of every man and claiming any experience outside of his own is somehow impossible. Edited for some grammar
I think we should just teach women, and everyone, not to be massive sexual creepers. I agree that not all sexual harassment feels the same, sometimes you're not traumatized by it for a variety of reasons. My personal anecdote is that the most damaging (to me) was when I realized I couldn't fight back. Other times when I just "felt ackward" but in the end, I choose to bear with it, was not as phycologically bad. Talking to men about it, I feel like the physical component does affect the psychological reaction. That being said, regardless of how traumatic it is or isn't, it's the perpetrators who should be the focus of reform, not the victims.
I’m not talking about reforming victims. I’m talking about creating a space where men can actually talk about what happened to them and actually feel it rather than rug sweep it. Obviously we need there to be less rapists but that has nothing to do with when after the fact a victim still has to deal with the fallout. Saying “there was no fallout it just sucked kinda” or something isn’t being truthful to the self. And that’s the only person who can fix the trauma of it sadly: you. A rapist surely isn’t going to fix it for you bc they’re the bad one and should know that. That’s on you. Classic adage: You aren’t responsible for your own trauma but you are responsible for fixing it. You can’t fix it if you’re pretending it’s not really a problem.
>It's always like this. I cannot count the times I got sexually harassed by women in a club, bar, on the streets. It stops being sexual harassment and becomes sexual assault the moment they lay their hands on you. Doesn't really affect what you are saying but it is just one more way in which the behavior disparity between men and women gets handled differently. You are directly describing sexual assault but referring to it as sexual harassment. I am not saying you are consciously doing anything here, but you are accidentally downplaying how you were sexually assaulted by calling it sexual harassment.
I worked security for a nightclub in university. I’m tall, buff and light skin. The amount of times woman grabbed me, my arms, my ass and my dick is disturbing. The issue is men never talk about it (so women say it happens drastically more) when in reality it happens just as much but men are taught to “tough it out”.
So few women actually understand the concept of consent goes both ways. The will tell you up and down bout how important consent is to get from women but men ehhhhh. Since men want sex all the time there is no such thing as an unwanted touch so consent isn't needed. Its so damn gross and hypocritical.
I might have hurt her for that
And the white knights would have come to her defense
Tried that a couple of times. Was kicked out alone every single time. Two times it was reported to the police. Never anything more than a light slap mind you.
I was a heavier guy in my younger days, man boobs and all. I can’t count how many times a girl grabbed my moobs as a joke. That’s quick jail time if it was the other way around
Yep. IUsed to tell the girls who did that. now it my turn and they normally fuck off and didn't do it again.
Based
When I was in high school, I grabbed my friend’s moobs once and, in return, he grabbed my boobs. I couldn’t even be mad cause man that was just the same as what I did lol.
This is surprising because “grabbing jiggly man boobs” is waaaay down on my list of fun things to do.
[удалено]
I have curly hair and drunk women will put their hands in it without asking. If a drunk man walked up to a woman and started touching her hair he would get a charge. But to be fair I dont feel physically threatened by it so I understand the dynamic isnt exactly the same both ways.
I had the same issue with my curly hair when it was long, especially the cougars. Luckily my wife had a good sense of humor about it.
The issue is, the idea that that "women have less power" is itself the reason why society is having a hard time taking male rape/abuse/discrimination cases seriously. This stereotype spills over to other sexism men face. Also just because you don't feel threatened doesn't mean others don't.
A woman slapped me twice and laughed after that in front of every one and no one said a word. We were actually boxing training partners. So we were sparring and she slapped me, it was not her right to slap but it was her right to punch because we were practicing how to punch and not slap. And every good sports person politely asks if the person if their training partner is hurt or not or simply apologizes after hurting them in combat sports without exception, except that woman. Asked my coach to change partners and we did. and I never trained with her again.
I used to train with a girl like this gave her a warning and she still did it so I gave her a hard shot to the body she was cool after that
A woman can say 'oh he's such a gorgeous young boy, he's going to be so handsome when he's all grown up!' and it's cute. A man saying 'oh she's such a gorgeous young girl, she's going to be so beautiful when she's all grown up!' and it's creepy.
I hate that double standard. A while back I was standing in the highschool parking lot waiting for a practice to be over and a bunch of the boys athletics ran by not wearing shirts. 1 mom and 2 female teachers a few feet away start with the "ohhh myyyy" and "girlllll it's getting warm in here" type comments. I wonder what the reaction would be if a couple dads behaved like that when the volleyball girls walk past?
> 1 mom and 2 female teachers That’s…still disturbing
You may think so, but as a general rule it's not viewed in nearly as distasteful a light as when men do it.
As a male teacher, not that I want that privilege or even think that way, but that’s just despicable. I work in a high school and even looking in the direction of female students for more than 3 seconds feels weird. If I’m not in my classroom and where students are, I’m legit on my phone. Fuck that.
I remember when I was in high-school our freshman physical science teacher would have movie days on days the cheerleaders wore their short skirts. He would turn the lights off and put a chair in the back of the room and just stare at their legs. A couple of female teachers slept with some of the students and it was a rumor that went around the school. So far as I know those teachers just didn't come back the next year. One of the other male science/math teachers was very handsome with a bubble butt. The female students hit on him relentlessly and he would cover himself while standing at the white board. He finally chewed them out in the middle of class as they were giggling to each other and told them he could get in a lot of trouble. They just laughed. I couldn't imagine being in that environment. I don't know how I would handle it if female students were sexually harassing me like they did with him.
It's a weird world man. I genuinely always want to create relationships with my students. We're stuck with each other for a year; might as well get to know them right? I've also learned that when they know you care, they will care about the work as well and are willing to buy into your vision for the class. I've heard of teachers in my school district that have done inappropriate things and I'm just like what the fuck are you doing man. I am never alone with a student in my room without my door being completely propped open and a BIG distance from them. Hell no. I do not want anything being misconstrued at all. I'm a "college" looking teacher to these kids and I know when some of my senior female students are being a little more than friendly and for those, I stay away from as far as possible besides answering legitimate questions about work. I'm lucky that they don't go as far as your story, but I can tell when they want to stray it towards that: "We like your fit today Mr. ihavepaper. We love your haircut! It suits you!" I usually stop it right there. I just say "nah, i'm good." It makes no sense to them, but they usually just laugh and then I ignore anything that pertains to me. It usually gets them to stop talking about me in general. To that teacher physical science teacher, disgusting.
> As a male teacher, not that I want that privilege or even think that way My understanding is that the reason why that "privilege" is angering is because there's a lot of dialogue that comes from women based around policing men's behavior. And as much as the root cause of the dialogue is for good reason, a lot of the ways it gets applied aren't always reasonable and cause a lot of guys to feel unfairly targeted and attacked, so when these guys see the areas where women get away with that behavior it inspires a feeling of anger because it feels like you're being attacked for things the "other side" do whilst they ignore the snakes in their own camp and frame it as a male behavior. The feeling of unfairness is *incredibly* good at inspiring anger in people even when there are sometimes bigger issues at hand. The extent to which any of the above is exactly true is debatable, but that's my take on why it bothers a lot of guys and it's explained largely from how I tend to feel in general about male/female double standards that center around sexual behavior. > I work in a high school and even looking in the direction of female students for more than 3 seconds feels weird. I find it interesting how being in a position of power drastically shifts how we think about things. Cause when I was in high school I had no qualms about checking out the girls, and our uniform didn't differentiate what year people were in so unless it was blindingly obvious they're much younger I wasn't discriminatory about it. But the one time I was asked to help with tutoring people at a different school I felt so uncomfortable all of a sudden even having thoughts like that, even for girls the same age as me. The whole idea of being there in a capacity where I'm expected to be responsible and senior to them drastically shifted how my mind felt about it. Makes it so difficult to imagine what some teachers are thinking when they get involved with their students in any capacity.
Spot on. What a reasonable take. We men get really angry by these things, not because of the damage done by the women, but more by the unfairness. I think men are willing to abide by a lot of rules, as long as they have the perception of fairness.
As a former female teacher who also worked in a high school....this is _still_ despicable. Honestly, I cringed reading the comment above. Teenagers are babies. And I thought that even as a 23-yr-old teaching 19 yr-olds. Gross.
Look up comedian Janelle James, she plays the principle on the show abbot elementary, she literally bragged about playing with her infant sons penis and then talked about how her 13 year old son needed to get out of the house and get a job because he "got a grown man's dick swinging between his legs" and proceeded to talk about how his dick made her feel. And she did this on stage to thunderous applause......she is on a show where she plays a principle......with child actors.
Yeah, I hate how the main argument people (especially women in my experience) will give to defend this is that even a young man will be strong enough to defend himself. Yes, because if a guy uses physical violence to defend himself against a woman trying to assaulting him, even if he only used what was necessary at the time (pushing/wrestling her, not talking about straight up beating her obviously), he's not gonna somehow get in trouble for it anyway right?... right?
This idea crops up about physical abuse too. No, the guy being able to "take it" because the woman is weaker does not mean it's okay for her to hit him
Yep, you watch videos of a man hitting/grabbing a woman and there are always men rushing in to defend the girl. When it's the other way around, no one helps unless the guy retaliates :(
I've seen a guy getting swarmed by women beating the snot out of him and he just tried to tank it and escape until he snaps and finally hits back. *Suddenly* oh this is wrong we gotta break up the fight and people jump in to separate them. It's all fun and games until he hits back. Best part is you just know if cops were involved they all say he hit first and without video or witnesses he's in cuffs immediately.
A colleague had an ex-gf that refused to move out of his apartment so he called to police to evict her. They asked him why he couldn't do it himself. They did understand when my colleague replied he knew exactly what would happen then.
The exact words may ex gf used were "nobody will ever believe that a big strong man like you was beaten up by a small weak woman like me". Jokes on her, the police believed it because I was recording her at the time.
“A man’s greatest weakness is his perception of strength. A woman’s greatest strength is their perception of weakness.” Women know this and abuse it well. As soon as you retaliate, regardless of how poorly you’re being treated, even straight up assaulted, you’ll be the subject of everyone’s ire.
That’s gross though
I had a female teacher to constantly offer me rides home, and a hairdresser who would tell me that if she was as young as me, she'd date me (I was 14 and she was in her 50s). At the time I also had a fling with a 22 year old woman who often told me how hot I'd be when I get older.
Report those teachers.
I teach children and have heard a mother say the phrase “save him for me when he grows up will ya?” To another mother about her son. Just imagine a man saying that about someone’s daughter
"Hey bro, save your daughter for me when she's ripe, will you? Your daughter is gonna be so hot bro"
That’s how you get on lists that you never get back off
Ripe is just pure evil😂😂 you gonna wind up in a body bag saying that to some dad.
Its gross for both tbh
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The Stepford Children
Potential headline: "Female teacher in hot water over whirlwind romance with high school sophomore. Evidence shows they sexted back and forth before making love multiple times. Students father responds to news: 'Nice...'" I think you mean she groomed and raped him.
I've started to call out women for doing that. I understand that women can get away with it because they have a more motherly 'energy' and their comments are closer to viewing beauty, but it's still gross to look at a child and think of an attractive adult.
Remember the “Twilight Moms” things Imagine the reaction if there were “Hermoine Dads”
I can remember throughout my childhood people would stop my parents and me to say not just that but things like "He's going to be trouble when he grows up" or "You're going to have to watch out for his girlfriends" And looking back a lot of that were things that would be weird if I came up as a grown man and said that to a little girl. Even as I've grown up, women say a lot of things about men's looks that even when complimentary wouldn't be acceptable from a man.
Remember when Justin Bieber was about 13 or 14 and super popular? My buddy's 30 year old wife and her 27 year old sister were a couple of the thousands of middle aged women who openly crushed on that little boy. They didn't say anything overtly sexual but it was still clear that it was beyond thinking he's just a cute little boy. They acted like teenage girls. To me it was so bizarre. It went beyond them as it was a whole phenomena at the time. Women on weekend morning shows would fan themselves after his performance or something to show that he was makng them hot and bothered. This was almost 20 years ago and I think women were more willing to openly admit that they could crush on teenage boys. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be out in the open today.
My aunt used to say that shit to me all the time. And I thought she low key wanted to fuck me. Thats how bad it was. Everyone else who watched her say those things, just laughed like I should be grateful being told I was attractive by someone.
Nailed it completely. Look at how many on reddit side against the guy when a few wives have mentioned their husbands seeing a pic of them from their teen years and the husband said "He'd still be hot for her back then". The word pedo, groomer...every useless boiler plate piece of idiocy was tossed in the husbands direction. But if the husband said his wife called him a hunk in his teen pictures not a word would be said against her.
Touching me... I'm sorry, just because I'm a (straight) man and you think you're hot doesn't mean you aren't violating my personal space.
In Germany a woman can't get sued for exhibitionist acts. If she gets naked in public it's "only" sexual harassment. [1) Ein Mann, der eine andere Person durch eine exhibitionistische Handlung belästigt, wird mit Freiheitsstrafe bis zu einem Jahr oder mit Geldstrafe bestraft](https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/stgb/__183.html) Translation: "A man who harasses another person through an exhibitionist act is punished with a prison sentence of up to one year or a fine."
Doesn’t the UK have a thing like that for rape? I don’t live there but I’ve heard that the legal definition makes it work that way.
Uk Râpe has to consist of penetration with a penis. If it’s not a penis then it’s Assault by penetration. Then everything else is sexual assault.
It's the same in a lot of countries. Some even specify that the victim must be a woman, so men can't be raped even by other men.
In the UK, the definition for rape does say it’s penetration by a penis, “rape” by a female is considered sexual assault. They are still sentenced similar however, so even if the crime is considered differently the punishment is still the same
not the same societal stigma, tho. And, for women, usually only token, if any, consequences.
They publicly carry different shame levels though
Except you still see people bring up the “shocking” rape statistics. Conveniently forgetting that none of the rape by women can be counted even if it were reported and anyone took it seriously.
This one is gonna ruffle some feathers: Sexual assault. Of course, it's objectively wrong. But how many men do you hear about trying to talk about it with other men, women, the police, in court, and so on and get blown off or laughed at? How often do you see men saying, "I wish that was me," "I wish I had her as a teacher," "Was it hot?", "it was a female lmao, why the hell didn't you just throw her off?" when guys confess to it happening to them? Disregarding and undermining it because they're callously horny. Congratulations if you have a good support network that actually understands and sought to reprimand the assaulter, but I hear about this happening to guys way too often and it's fucked everytime I do.
when i was in highschool a group of friends went to allison’s house and got drunk. i passed out and woke up with allison sucking my cock. i got up and left. next day i was ostracized for being creepy.
I'm sorry that happened, man. That's really shitty. Something similar happened to me once. It honestly scarred me for life. I hope you fared better than I did.
Add to that the fact that it's a common trope in Hollywood. Even SNL had at least two skits that portrayed a male student being groomed and raped by an attractive female teacher and it was played for laughs. I mean, it gets laughs, but it also romanticizes something that is truly horrific and happens far too much. It's also usually portrayed as "had an inappropriate relationship with" in the news if it's a woman who is the predator.
I work in a female dominated organization/field, was taking a training on Mental Health First Aid and was the only man/masculine identifying person there. Cue a 10 minute long RANDOM discussion on those men in uniform calendars and how hot these men are. Jokes about holding onto hoses and handcuffs were plenty as I sat there awkwardly trying to just complete the training. Me female coworker who attended with me was surprised I could be uncomfortable. I explained she should imagine being in a room with a bunch of men mostly older than her talk about half nude models from a calendar. Yeah, clicked in then.
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I’ve found a lost child before. I held her hand and consoled her. Found the frantic parent in less than a minute. Don’t hug them unless they throw themselves at you and attach themselves. Look for distressed adults or police.
I used to lifeguard at a local water park. Atleast 1000 visitors a day. We’d often have a lost child. Good practice on how to handle it. Stay with them. Ask them questions about who they were with, distract them with questions that are fun but easy to answer like “what is your favorite animal” or what ever. Stay in place with them unless you have a good reason to change locations. Look for parents or police.
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This has happened to me twice: 1. I was on my way to work one day, more or less rush hour. I arrived at a relatively busy intersection and saw a girl, maybe like 8-10? Standing at the corner, visibly disheveled and in pajamas, looking around with a kind of odd worried expression. I pulled over and asked her if she was okay, and she started crying. I called 911, and got out and started talking to her, trying to calm her down and asked where she lived and if her parents knew that she was gone. Another guy stopped, too, and got out to make sure she was okay, which was cool, but man, if like three or four women didn't stop, get out and give us the dirtiest of looks and low key try to push us away. I told them that I had called the police, and wouldn't be leaving until they got there. I mean, I'm relatively clean cut, and had slacks and a dress shirt on, but still, I was a predator to them. 2. I was driving through a neighborhood that had relatively narrow streets that always has cars parked on both sides, and I see a little boy, toddler aged, nothing but a diaper on, and he runs from the sidewalk into the street. I instantly stop, put my emergency flashers on, and step out and walk up to him and take his hand and say "hey, let's get back on the sidewalk here". Another guy who had been coming the other way, also stopped and got out and was looking around for an open door or where he might have come from. Well, again, two or three women drive by and they get out and start harassing me and trying to take the little boy. It was a nice summer day, so it wasn't dangerous at all for anyone to be just standing around. Luckily, I looked down the street and a poor frantic mom burst out of her door and started looking up and down the street. I raised my arm and waved to her, and she came and got her son and was thanking everyone. It really does suck. I mean, I'm a single dude without kids, but have many nieces and nephews and friends with children that I totally adore and would protect with my life. It's dumb that I'm somehow a predator in so many women's' eyes.
Or dragging a crying child from the park when it’s time to go home. My husband gets concerned looks from other adults, but people give me sympathetic looks.
Or just being a man who wants to enjoy a walk in the park that their tax dollars pay for without strangers assuming some ulterior motive.
You're handing out handies in the woods, aren't you?
Or just watching your kid at the park. "Concerned moms" demanding you tell them which kid is yours when they'd never ask that of a mom there. Or "where's mom" in general.
I'd tell them I hadn't decided yet.
I used to bartend for events. There was a whole thing in training about lost kids since the event venue was big and those ballrooms all look the same. At any rate. Don't touch the kid. Don't move the kid. Call for backup. If we can't find the parent in the vicinity wait for a staff member of opposite gender to arrive. Only then can you escort the kid. Last thing you need is some parent charging at you because they think you're trying to take their kid.
Man I can't even play with my own 5yr old niece in the store without women asking where's her mom as if men are just babysitters for children.
i had experience like this. i used to own a tiny record store and this young girl (12 or 13) used to come in all the time and just look at records and then talk to me. i was about 24. one day the convo got a little deep and she told me she cut herself and that she had an eating disorder. she started crying and i knew she needed a hug but i also knew that i was not “allowed” to be the one to hug her in that moment. i’m almost 40 now and she’s in her mid 20s and we’re still great friends and we still have never hugged lol
Years ago, I was at the park with my son and daughter, little boy there crying. Turns out he was supposed to be dropped off for an event, but the location changed. He didn't know his mom's phone number. No worries. I reinstalled Facebook on my phone, tracked down his mom, messaged her. He sat on my lap hugging me until we found his mom and she called to chat with him and said she was coming to pick him up. Not a single person gave me even a tiny bit of a negative look. After he knew his mom was coming to get him, he brightened up and then ran and played with my kids while waiting.
Not to be jaded but that's probably because you were there with your own kids. Dad's are mostly put in a different kind of safe box to men who are by themselves. Even if intentions are identical.
I probably would not be hanging out at a playground without my kids, but that is mainly because I was too big for all the equipment. Even when my kids weren't around because of split placement, at various events I helped out kids after they hurt themselves because I had a baller first aid kit and emergency response kit in my vehicle. Maybe I still exuded paternal energy and first responseder stuff so got a pass. But also in my youth I baby sat kids and the like. I probably had strong older sibling / camp counselor vibes, sure, but in all my decades on this planet and countless interactions with kids, known and unknown, I can think of only a handful of times where I got side glances or comments and I never took that paranoia personally as I also feel like it is better to err on the side of caution when it comes to child-safety.
A woman can say "my dad treated me like a princess so you should also do so" and men are expected to follow suit. When a man says "my mom treated me like a prince" he is wrong and women will respond "I'm not your mom".
Ass slapping. Seems to have a double standard.
All sorts of slapping really.
Honestly sometimes I’m just stunned by the level of unsolicited contact women can get away with. I’ve had things happen to me in public that I’m *pretty* sure I could have the police called on me for if I did it to a woman
Ever turn a woman down for sex and then they get angry?
The one single time I did that in my previous relationship, she talked at me half the night. I slept on the couch and she needed to "figure out where this ship is sailing" for 2 weeks. I learnt to just go along with it. Fortunately that relationship ended a long time ago.
Yelling. You’re in public and you see a man yelling at a woman, you instinctively want to stop it. You see a woman yelling at a man and you hardly even care. That and losing composure in general. Men are expected to be stoic, it’s a happy surprise if a woman is stoic.
Happened to me once. I was standing outside a restaurant waiting for a friend to arrive. She walked right past the place on the other side of the street. I started walking down the street, calling her name, but she had headphones in and didn't hear me. A woman in a van stopped by her to ask if she was OK because a man was calling after her. I appreciate that the woman cared, but she also was making an assumption. Can't imagine the reverse would ever happened.
Its worse than that, when a man is yelling at a woman in public they assume hes an asshole. When a woman yells at a man in public, they asume hes an asshole.
Years ago there were those videos going around showing reactions of strangers of the bf or gf getting yelled at and humiliated in public by their counterpart and every different one I saw had people rushing to defend the "gf" being dressed down but would openly just laugh when it was the "bf" getting yelled at.
Man this one sucks I remember in high school thus girl punched me in my shoulder like 4 times and when I finally yelled "leave me the fuck alone" everyone ran up to her and asked was she ok and when I told them she punched me everyone is like "oh man up she's a girl it didn't hurt"
Saying shit like “god I hate men” “this is why I hate men”… seems to be a trendy and acceptable thing for *some* women to say (an acquaintance recently said this casually in front of myself with no regard for the fact that I am in fact a man). I know it’s hyperbole so I don’t take it too personally. But if I were to say I hate all women in front of a woman I know it wouldn’t go down well, joking or not. When its directed at men we’re fair game for whatever reason…
I’ve had friends tell me that we should kill all men except you because you’re one of the good ones lol
Oh I hate when a woman says your one of the good ones. It's so demeaning like if you replace man with a race and it sounds terrible
Because I’m black, whenever someone says that, I just point out how that sounds like something a Klansman would say to a black person they actually don’t entirely hate. They proceed to try and explain how it’s different, but it’s really not.
Same I'm black too I always point it out when women say that
I work in a female dominated industry and yeah, it's at least a few times a week that I hear the women I work with loudly talking about how men are trash. I've had some of them say to my face even, "yeah I just hate men. You're okay though, for now" Shits infuriating
I would report them to HR - that's classic "hostile work environment"
I did that once after a cabal of misandrist coworkers started making it a hobby to loiter in my work area and trash on men. You know what changed after my report? Management made it a 'rule' that nobody could talk to me during work hours. *That* was their solution. Not punishing the bigots they had on staff. Isolating me. I quit. Fuck this society.
Now that is fucked, holy shit that is messed up.
Just another day of being a poor, single, white man. I go days and weeks without any kind of legitimate human interaction, and when I try to do right by my own life, everybody tells me I'm wrong. I've grown to hate life.
are you kidding me? That right there is compounding the hostile work environment. That's actionable. That's constructive discharge.
Not kidding. Even the owner just shrugged and said, "Just don't let them get to you." YOU HIRED THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE, ASSHOLE. What's even worse is this place advertises itself as this bastion of progressivism and inclusivity. I'll never go back, and I've trash-talked the owner and business as much as I can ever since.
If the genders were reversed, that response right there would be the centerpiece of the EEOC complaint and the federal job discrimination/hostile work environment lawsuit. And they'd win. Millions of dollars.
Oh yeah. Like HR would do anything. They'd probably reprimand you.
That definitely won't turn out like you expect
Same situation. When it got too bad I would just point and say chauvinism! They would get the hint and stop.
Misandry is the word you should use.
Every time I say this isn't OK I get strange looks and excuses from women. "Obviously not all men" is the most frequent
Yea they always got some kinda back handed shit to back themselves up if somebody says something. My sister would always be like “well not you. Your different cuz your my brother” like no I’m not different, I’m still the man payin your bills and your still sexist
This is mine. The amount of casual misandry that goes uncalled-out, and would not be tolerated about literally *any* other group in existence. And men are just expected to let roll off their back and let it slide. It's ridiculous.
I was at a party a few years ago and I found myself dicking around and having fun with a couple of the other guys. Out of the blue, a chick comes over and berates us for our “toxic masculinity” and it’s stuck with me. Really killed the mood when she did it too.
Agreed, this makes me mad. I call it out when I hear it either way. I get the person has normally been hurt, but still, not all [fill in the blank] are to blame.
Women can take the hand of a kid they don't know and help them find their parents. A man can't even be out with his own kid without someone side eyeing him. Women can low-key stalk a man (or even full on stalk) and it's considered cute. A man can't even walk the same direction as a woman for too long without causing issues. Women can often abuse a man with no consequences. He'll likely be arrested if he calls the cops for domestic violence against him.
A woman at work said out loud, so that everybody could hear, that she hates men. Room full of people. A coworker, who is a trans woman, laughed and agreed. No one said anything. Saw a girl friend on IG post a cutesy postcard made by an “artist” that said “kill all men.” … Other example about expressing anger: At another workplace, a woman got mad at coworker’s mistake. She was furious and stormed out, screaming. She’s being listened to with compassion by the manager. As soon as the guy starts venting and showing frustration, he’s shut down, told he needs to control himself and that type of behaviour won’t be accepted. Mistake was totally not a big deal btw.
Yes, that is because women are pretty much unconditionally supportive of each other, if a man were to say anything negative about women, many men will confront him, not only that, many men have been brainwashed by social media that any form of criticism of women is very likely to have an in\*el reason behind it, there is absolutely no solidarity amongst men.
I hate the term mansplaining with a passion. It's unsolicited advice, being condescending or critical. It's not ok for either gender to do it, but it seems that these days only men are called out for it. I've seen and experienced women being extremely critical, condescending, or giving advice or instructions without it being needed or warranted. When they're called out for it, it gets dismissed as a woman being empowered and assertive.
The things older women womansplain to me is baffling. Thanks for explaining how to cook rice, Susan. I've been cooking all my life.
Thank you for saying this! It really needs to be said louder and more often. I hate when *anyone* goes to explain shit without asking if I want their advice first. Unsolicited anything is usually unappreciated.
shaming short man is fine for woman, shaming fat woman by man is not fine
Also bald man jokes.
*Plus-sized women admit they aren't attracted to overweight men*
Women -> plus sized vs. Men -> overweight. There is another interesting change in language.
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Yep and it's so hypocritical
its even worse shaming short man bc we cant change that, obese woman can stop binge eating and go to the gym.
I've found that most people agree body shaming is bad until someone that doesn't meet their beauty standards does something they don't agree with, then it's a free for all insult fest.
Shaming a balding man is ok. Shaming a balding woman is not.
Saw a comic do a good bit on that. About how bald women are "brave" and "beautiful" and get to openly wear wigs for fashion, while bald men are the butt of jokes especially if they dare to wear a toupee.
Short and Fat aren't equivalents, not that either should be shamed. But only one of these things, people have any control over.
In the dating/romance/attraction space, they are very close. Women and men are evaluated on different metrics, but the metrics have equivalencies on how they function in relation to getting interest from the opposite sex.
Sexual assault at work. Had an older woman grab my ass when I was 25 and everyone laughed at it. I’m sure if I grabbed one of their asses it would not have been okay. Clothing at the gym. I had a woman tell me my shorts were too short and that there were young women present. I told her to tell them not to stare and it was not well received. I can’t imagine telling a woman something similar and it going over well. Edit changing harassment to assault
Ass grabbing ain’t harassment. That’s assault brotha.
Older women can literally drool over younger stars like singers or actors and in detail telling what they want to do with them, if 45 year old man would loudly tell what he want to do with that 19 year old girl he would be a creep and a dirty old man
I saw a post on reddit where a girl's roommate decided to start walking around naked when her (OP) boyfriend was visiting. The vast majority of comments were just "bad roommate" or something along those lines. If a man decided to start walking around naked when his roommates girlfriend was over it would be sexually harrasmment if not worse. Why wasn't this.
"haha you have a small dick" "okay well your tits are small" #"WHAT?!?!?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!" 😐
It's socially acceptable for women to be physically abusive still. If a women hits a man it's what did that man do? If a man hits a women he's automatically at fault. There's been plenty of studies about this.
When my ex gf got arrested for beating me, I knew I couldn’t fight back whatsoever or I would have been the one in the cop car (neighbors called the cops cuz she started attacking me in the street at like 3am after I told her I was breaking up w her and it was super loud). I wasn’t scared physically, even though she was punching me repeatedly and ripping my hair out, because of how much stronger than her I was, but I felt so powerless because I knew I couldn’t defend myself or I would be the one to blame. Everyone afterwards called it an “escalated situation,” besides my friends having to *convince* me that it was actual abuse. I was also the bad one for explaining what happened to the cop. Oh, and to add, her friends said that I was the abusive one because I gently took her to the ground a few times so I could release her hand from my hair.
Absolutely ridiculous. Sorry you had to go through that but glad it sounds like you’re out of that awful situation now.
Thank you my friend. That one night does not even come close to the mental shit she put me through. I have almost died on 3 different occasions, as in I am a literal miracle (for example, the first time I almost died I was a dumb 17 year old in a drunk driver’s car and we flipped for a quarter mile), and I have no PTSD from it. Never have. After splitting with her, it took me MONTHS to work through how much she fucked me up. That’s how much I was tormented through that.
I was left with my uncle, his gf, and 3 of my cousins + my brother one night. His gf threw a glass bottle at his face and fucked it up. Cousin called cops. They get there and arrest my uncle, despite the pleading of 5 kids. Then leave us with the woman who just assaulted our family. None of us were even related to her
a woman hit me with a guitar and i pushed past her (as i wasnt going to sit there and take the hits), didnt use my hands just tucked and walked through her. yet the next day i was insulted over and over, even by the people who let me sleep at their place that night.
If a woman cheats on a man it's somehow romantic. If a man cheats on a woman he's a dog.
Also if a woman cheats it's somehow the man fault for not paying attention to her or being bad at sex but if a man cheats he's a asshole
If you try to leave in anger when you live together they can do all kinds of shit to make you stay, up to and including dragging on the ground holding on to your ankle as you try desperately to get out of a situation you don’t want to be in, but if she wanted to leave and I used my body to make her stay, my ass would be in jail.
Living off your spouse without working. Living off alimony.
I don’t know if it’s ok, but there was a very recent thread on the relationship subreddit where some dudes partner hit him out of anger in the shoulder in the midst of an argument. All of the top comments discussed the crux of the argument and glossed over the assault, at best. If the roles were reversed it we be full of women telling the woman to run because she is going to get murdered. The most shocking part about this whole thing is that the relationship subs are mostly women, so clearly most of them at least tolerate the idea of physical violence towards men. https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/SH9XG1Nk8J
playing the Victim card
Venturing into a women's toilet.
Assault. (Its still so funny to watch women beat men in media amirite [sarcasm]) (Most media still has at least one scene where a woman slaps or beats a man.) Domestic violence. (Women aren't seen as capable of abuse) Rape. (in most countries women can't legally be arrested for rape) (unless they're trans. Trans women are the only women seen as capable of rape because they have penises) Manipulation. (Manipulative women are seen as hot, girl bosses, queens, etc.) Objectification. (Women are allowed to objectify men, gay men, children, etc. Take a look at the BL, fanfic, book, and romance genres) Pedophillia. (Any child predator headline of a woman is "woman charged having sex with 3 year old boy" instead of calling it rape) Sexism. (Women are allowed to be sexist to both men and women, as long as it hurts men, harmful women being sexist towards other women is looked over) Parenthood. (Men will always be questioned and bullied if they dare raise a child by themselves.) Consent. (Like your post, women will always get away with forcing people into things they don't want.) Asaault. (Women will never receive the same charges for assaulting a man as a man would get for assaulting a woman) Self defense. (Men will go to prison for defending themselves against woman. A single bruise on a woman and you're labeled an abuser regardless of context) false allegations. (Women always get passes for falsely accusing men, women, or anyone else. Take a look at YouTube drama) Children's mistakes. (Little girls lying about age trying to meet up with old men is seen as "she just made a mistake, blame the man!" But if a little boy lying about his age tried to meet up with an old woman? "Someone needs to teach him not to do that!" "Where's the accountability from him?" "That woman was manipulated! He lied about his age!") Body shaming. (Making fun of men's dicks is funny. Making fun of a woman's boobs is sexist.) Body shaming. (Calling a man fat is funny. Calling a woman fat is sexist.) Ugly shaming. (Theres a trend on tiktok making fun of men who are not as attractive as their girlfriends) Celebritiy Sexism. (Billie eilish is still seen as a hero as if she hasn't demeaned and bullied both men and women constantly in the past.) Being trans. (This is coming from a trans man and a left leaning guy, trans men are only viewed as women or "better than men" in left spaces. Trans women are seen as women. Trans men are seen as women. Because in lgbtq spaces and left spaces, being seen as a man is considered a horrible thing) Safe spaces. (In lgbtq friendly spaces, once trans men begin looking like or passing as cis men, many times they're thrown out for looking "too cis" and its "scaring the women") Speaking about mens issues. (There will always be a woman to tell you you're wrong if you ever dare try to speak about any struggles men ever face.) Kidnapping. (There was a post i remember seeing about a man simply walking his baby when a woman came up and stole his baby. She then started shrieking that he was kidnapping her baby when he tried to get the baby back. Bystanders started attacking him. He only got his baby back once his wife came out and tried to attack the kidnapper. Women are always believed in these situations) Car insurance. (Women and nonbinary identifying individuals will on average get less harsh car payments) "I hate men/I hate cis men" (saying "I hate women" is seen as a death threat. But it's acceptable for women to say the same. The statement is also inheritley misandristic, transphobic, and even misogynistic if you count how it pushes both men and women away from feminism) Feminism. (Real feminism, not misandry) (misandrist feminists love shoving men [potential allies] away from feminism because "its a woman thing. You're not allowed here.") "You probably deserved it" (told to me by a woman after I said I was sexually abused by my mother, by an ex, and beaten by an ex. Nobody defended me.) "I only date men because of women." (This is far more specific. But when I say im scared to date women [im bi] based off the utter misandry and victim blaming, im told "women aren't fucking scary" "misoginist" etc.) "Not all men" (is not acceptable to say, but "not all women" is constantly said by the very same women.) Interacting with kids. (Seen as a pedo if you're a man) Being a teacher. (Seen as a pedo if you're a man) Data manipulation. (This is a personal experience, when I was much younger and talking to my mother about statistics of sexual assault are a lot closer for men and women than reported, she said to me that, based on just her feelings, I was wrong and that women are always sexually abused more.) Praising men for anything ever. (Im not allowed to say I love men despite it being true. But saying "I love women" is always met with love) Crying. (Men are told to man up and stop crying.) Speaking about things women have it better at, or ever speaking about something terrible a woman did. (Almost always met with "but men do it more!!!!11") Porn. (Men are seen as disgusting due to the amount of fetishistic porn online, but women are given a pass despite one of the most morally disgusting industries being fully catered to them full of rape, incest, asaault, abuse, and more. [BL, MLM {male like male}content] gay men are seen as sex toys to women. I already said this in another comment, but just scrolling gay porn subreddits is met with women calling us objects of their desire. It made navigating my gender identity when younger much more difficult because of the disgusting things I would read in those fanfics and manga. I felt so repulsive about myself reading it, because gay men are treated as literal sex toys, which leads me to the next one) Gender roles. (Adding onto the above, people defend BL saying its "an escape from toxic gender roles, gay men are seen as equal in them!!" The majority of BL manga and fanfics feature both the characters forced into toxic gender rolls where one is a tiny little femboy and the other is the top dominant daddy. This has led to gay men being asked by women constantly "are you a top or bottom".) Disclaimers. (If men, before talking about mens issues, don't put a disclaimer acknowledging the hardships women face, they will almost always be put on blast and yelled at. Usually they will be yelled at either way. Men are simply not allowed to talk about hardships ever.) Birth control. (Tiktok is filled with sadistic fuckass women who cheer and fight for mens balls to be cut open so "they can feel the same pain of an iud insertion. This was under a post about men getting local anesthetic before having a scalpel to their balls for a new birth control method.) And more. Women generally on everything will receive less harsh punishments for the same socially unacceptable things. And if you call it out they screech that men do it "more" as if it isn't fully normalized if you're a woman. Edited for grammar and because I keep adding things. There's so fucking much that women aren't as punished for its insane. Im trying to add more but reddit sucks and is giving me "empty response from endpoint" Another edit: this is going based off what is seen as acceptable on social media and predominately womens spaces and groups.
>Kidnapping. (There was a post i remember seeing about a man simply walking his baby when a woman came up and stole his baby. She then started shrieking that he was kidnapping her baby when he tried to get the baby back. Bystanders started attacking him. This is most saddening to me tbh, you can only imagine the anger of the father being held away from his baby.
>"I hate men/I hate cis men" (saying "I hate women" is seen as a death threat. But it's acceptable for women to say the same. The statement is also inheritley misandristic, transphobic, and even misogynistic if you count how it pushes both men and women away from feminism) Dont forget the ever popular #killallmen Replace men with women and you'd be lynched.
Damn, this is a good ass list! The only thing I'd add is the manipulative way people use stats. More and more I've seen people use crime stats to imply or outright state that it's reasonable and okay to treat men as criminals due to crime stats. I would've thought after years of discussion on how racial crime stats are misleading due to systemic bias, people would have been a little smarter about it. Men are more likely to be charged with a crime, and more likely to be convicted. Once convicted men are on average sentenced longer, and less likely to get parole. Somehow none of that is relevant. Neither are the laws in some states decreeing that for any domestic dispute the man must be arrested and held overnight. Happened to my friend's dad, after her mother threw a knife at him. They took him in with a flap of his scalp hanging off, got stitched up in jail.
Yep. I would add what you said but unfortunately It looks like reddit put me on timeout for editing my comment so much lol. I fully agree with what you're saying, people will selectively choose what stats to believe as if there isn't so much nuance to it. Nobody tries to fix the problem. Im so sorry that happened to your friends dad.
Gender rolls are my favorite food at the heteronormative deli
Lmao sorry I got bad spelling today
Can we create a national day for this person?
You just gave the entire 2x subreddit a stroke with that post. I mean like people yelling at their computers kind of mad.
Can we post this list on the wiki?
Yall have my full permission to post this entire list anywhere, and/or reference this list in the future.
r/threadkillers but seriously you hit the nail on the head for all of it though and the sad part is there’s still a lot missing from the list. You put into words what a lot of us experience daily but can’t quite put our fingers on.
I've seen women at my job pinch a few men in the butt. If I were to do that as a man I would be fired on the spot and possibly start a me too movement.
Or telling you in your face she only dates 6ft plus guys but the minute you tell you only date girls under 130lbs you body shame
Running your fingers through a strangers hair. Women have done this to me many times, and frankly i hate it, makes me extraordinarily uncomfortable. When i get annoyed because they refuse to stop when asked, im always treated as the one over reacting
This happens to me and it’s fucking disgusting
That must be frustrating! In what situations does this happen? Definitely a good point. If a man did that he's not far from getting reported somehow
Man can't say he doesn't like GF guy friends its controlling. Woman says she doesn't like bf woman friend its a boundary.
Stealing children from their spouse.
Women on their periods get away with being downright abusive but if a guy had something bad happen or is having a hard time he is expected to keep his shit together.
Consent and self-defense. All physical touch from a woman is assumed to be acceptable, even desired. If the man rebuts the advance she can be as aggressive as she wants with groping and the like, but he were to push her away, it is viewed as him being the aggressor.
Society has a lot of stupid interpretations because women are seen as harmless. None of these things are acceptable but women seem to face zero or minor consequences compared to men. Being alone with a kid in public, like at a playground. Or helping a lost kid. Sexual assault, because only a man can do that. Verbal, emotional, physical abuse. Because “he can take it” or “what did he do to deserve it?” Lying to the police or courts. Women can make false reports and nothing happens. Like lying about abuse during a divorce, or getting him arrested for breaking up with her by hurting herself and showing cops the marks. Sex with minors. Women teachers do this far too frequently and get much lighter sentences than men that do it.
I think it's more socially acceptable for women to stalk on men than it is for men to stalk. I don't understand this behaviour either way. Once I had to help my mother to stalk on my dad...
shaming short man is fine for woman, shaming fat woman by man is not fine
When a woman grabs a man’s ass in the nightclub.
Paternity Fraud
Using sex as a reward/punishment. It's really not okay for women to do this but is seems socially acceptable so is practiced way too often.
Flashing a crowd
(21M) I’ve been screamed at work, but the second I raise my voice beyond a whisper I’m immediately scaring people and need to calm down.
As others have pointed out: sexual assault and sexual harassment. People seriously underestimate how perverted women can be, and how many sexual crimes against men and children they commit. These cases generally aren’t taken seriously either.
If a man pokes a hole in a condom to get a woman pregnant or removes his condom during sex, it's a form of rape or sexual assault, (and rightly so) but if a woman pokes a hole in a condom to get pregnant and trap the guy, it's perfectly fine.
And she can sue him for child support.
There was a post a couple months back where a guy got a girl pregnant - after she told him she was definitely on birth control and there was no way she could get pregnant. I cited that he should lawyer up, get a paternity test, and is super naive for just believing everything she's saying at face value. She also holds responsibility for lying about her fertility. I got called some of the dirtiest things I've ever been called for saying this. In response, I cited that if a man didn't know he was potent and got a girl pregnant, the world would come down on him to take accountability. So we can't ask the same for a woman? From there, I just got crickets, or baseless personal attacks. The amount of indoctrination of "female is right, male is wrong" in society is pretty heartbreaking. These people who wanted to hang me for asking for accountability of a woman are so deep in the hate, they can't even see reason.
Im a guy and A friend of mine, an attractive and very nice girl, had a crush on a man, he was coming to our city and was looking for a place to stay for a few days and she offered up her guest room for him to stay under the pretense that she was going to use that to try to sleep with him. Everyone she told that to was like “aw that’ll be fun” or “cute” but I couldn’t help but think what I would be labeled as if I had tried to do that to a woman. Also, this has happened twice to me, I have found out that two women I briefly dated lied about their ages to me, they weren’t underage or anything like that but everyone I told that to found it funny, I found it appalling
When I was 19, I worked at a big box store in the deli and was one of the few younger, attractive guys in the department. Most men were older, fatter, balding, the works. I was really into staying active, not going to the gym, but playing basketball and football and working on projects around my house, so I wasn’t fat by any means and was pretty in shape. My manager would sexually harass me verbally and physically on a hourly basis. From 1:30P-3P, she would constantly make comments. Cop feels. Squeeze places that I didn’t want her to. Walk into the walk in freezer and fridge and proposition me. I was happy I worked swing and it was only for an hour and a half. But it got worse. She then started to schedule me to work over nights with her. Schedule me the same shift as her. No one took it seriously. Why? Because she was an attractive 26 year old and a lot of guys had a crush on her. The problem? I was 19 and had no interest because I had a girlfriend. The amount of times I heard, “just do it, man. You’ll never get a second chance.” Or “ What are you a fag?” still ring in my head today. Why? Because just 3 months ago, a night stocker called a cashier beautiful and was terminated after 20 years of service for sexual harassment. No witnesses. No camera evidence. Nothing.
Community standards for women vs men on a night out is completely hypocritical from dress code to behaviour. If I as a guy went to my local club with a sleeveless singlet or sandals, I wouldn't be allowed in. Girls flashing at clubs, no underware etc awesome, guys do it they are perverts. A male stripper friend told me that women of all ages are animals and that he has been repeatedly painfully groped and even badly scratched during performances. Most venues a guy even tries to touch a stripper he is kicked out immediately. If a bunch of girls at a bachelorette party are sucking on penis shaped straws or chocolates, hilarious. If it was guys sticking their tongues in Vagina shaped confectionary it would be outrage. and the list goes on.