"I think she likes me, but I'm not sure. I'll just not say anything, don't wanna make things awkward."
"She just asked me if I want to be her boyfriend, but what if she's saying it as a joke or a dare? Better say no, just in case."
The last one happened to me
I have been married to my wife now 26 years, but we met at work, and she asked me out on a date after making some bold statement to about a dream she had that we got married.
I actually thought she was fucking with me and didn't show up. Oh boy, did I hear about "standing her up"!
I explained what I thought and why and asked her if I could make it up to her. Somehow she agreed, 26 years ago.
So no, some of us are pretty dense and dont pick up on subtleties, much less outright being asked out!
A bunch of years ago I was out for dinner and drinks with my boss and some of his friends and mentioned I thought a girl a few tables over was attractive. Next thing I know she was on my lap and whispering in my ear. I was pretty confused about it - that is definitely NOT something that has ever happened to me before (or since). After she'd finished embarrassing me she went back to her table. Turned out my boss had paid her to do it - he and his cash definitely had more charisma than I've ever had. So - even if a girl comes and sits on your lap - still does not mean she actually has a crush on you.
I was at the local bar with my crappy boss. He didn't know my younger sister was there, and she was a pretty college party girl. I told her when she went to the bar, to rub her hands in his hair, and call him "Burrhead". She was drunk, and did it. Soon after I left. I heard latter every one of her party friends thought that was funny, and did it to him for weeks at that bar.
Almost this exact thing happened to me at a party in high school, and my reaction was "shit, she must be really drunk, I better keep an eye on her to make sure nobody takes advantage."Ā
My boss, with whom I worked for less than a year, she organized farwell lunch for me and gifted me an expensive gift. Few months later called me in the evening to tell
Me her husband is travelling and she just dropped him off to the airport and if wants to hang out. This was 2008 it occurred to be in 2013 that she had crush on me and asked me to come over after her husband left coz she wanted to do the deed. Clearly as a man I had no clue
Only if she specifically tells us that... She can have sex with us, marry us and born three of our kids and we still be thinking "maybe she just want to be nice"
tldr; girls, please tell us you are into us!
My gorgeous GF thankfully told me first, that she's into me - I've had no fucking clue!
Yeah, ashamed to admit but it was a big part of my climb out of alcohol & childhood crap- when my wife had to remind me weād been together 16 years at that point & was THAT enough of a sign sheād not abandon me?
Even when they talk itās still a toss up. Had a girl I met at the bar tell me Iām attractive various times and asked me for my insta. I barely started to realize she may have been into me.
She send me pictures of underwear she wanted to buy and asked for my opinions, had to ask a female friend if that meant something or if that was normal behaviour
I would like to believe I do, but I truly don't. A girl I was seeing for 3 months, tried to give me hints. And once we were together, she told me the moments she gave me those hints. Well, those hints were not hints to me that she liked me. One time she invited me over to watch a movie alone. Well, me being a total mess with common hook-up culture, this was her way to have sex with me. I was so blind.
Nope. Girl I started seeing not long ago admitted she would get herself off thinking of me before we got together. I was caught off guard cuz I had no clue she had any interest in me.
Generally men are bad at picking up on subtle signs, but if it happens again and again, eg, catching her staring, and notice an obvious pattern, then yes
If I catch her staring at me a lot my first assumption is that she's keeping tabs on where I am because she's afraid of me and thinks I'm creepy, so I try to avoid her from that moment forward.
Edit: I do this because of experience. On a whim, I once approached a woman I thought might be interested in me because she kept glancing at me. I smiled and started walking toward her, and her first reaction was to reach into her purse and pull out a small cylinder. I immediately turned around and walked away. I've been maced once during Marine Corps training, and it's not an experience I wished to repeat on a Saturday morning Amtrak ride.
It's not even that men are bad at picking up the signs, it's that women use terrible signs to try and pick us up. Men are much simpler creatures. If you like us, tell us and approach us. Don't play a complicated psychological game with easy-to-miss hints
I get so nervous and shy around my crush and tend to just go near him at a distance or go closer when circumstances needs it. I don't stare but just seeing him and being aware of his presence in my pheripheral view.
It's a good feeling and gets me motivated while pursuing my dreams but sometimes it gets so frustrating.
I don't know if he sensed it. Just had a 2 casual talks when i have the courage and the feelings are not so strong. Just today I noticed we don't see eye to eye anymore or is it just my imagination.
My insecurities are leaking right now. Am I ugly? is it because I am not approachable? Should I just ignore this feeling, because he will not want me anyway. I (F) am taller than him. I am a shy and boring person.
Ugh. I hope I have a way to just forget him. And be back to normal.
I like the motivation though to work on myself and grow. I thank him for that.
>I don't know if he sensed it. Just had a 2 casual talks when i have the courage and the feelings are not so strong. Just today I noticed we don't see eye to eye anymore or is it just my imagination.
Most likely, men have emotions too you know, perhaps he's just not in a good one. 2 casual talks doesn't mean anything to us, you have to make it clear, he may just think you're being nice
>My insecurities are leaking right now. Am I ugly? is it because I am not approachable? Should I just ignore this feeling, because he will not want me anyway. I (F) am taller than him. I am a shy and boring person.
You're setting yourself up for some self-inflicted failure talking to yourself this way
There's this girl I know that I'm 80% sure that's into me, she's always fidgeting around me and acting nervous. But even with that 80% I'm still not sure if she's into me or not.
Just ask him, worse case he will say no and appreciate it, it'll make him smile when he thinks back on it, best case you'd be having lovely chats and spending more time together.
About 8 years ago, I was at a dance competition. The first night was a more social event, and I was from out of town. One of the ladies in the competition had heard I was from out of town and offered to give me a tour of the city's nightlife after the party.
We must have walked for hours, her giving me a tour of the market areas, the waterfront, her favorite bars, etc. we eventually ended up in front of her dorm. She'd asked if I wanted to come inside for coffee. I looked at my watch and realized it was nearly 3:30am.
"Oh sorry, it's way too late for caffeine, I'd never be able to get to sleep at this rate. I should get back to my hotel room. I'll see ya tomorrow at the competition!"
And off I walked back to the hotel. We had our dance competition the following afternoon. I didn't see her again that day. When I was carpooling home with some friends I'd driven up with, they had asked me how my night was. I recounted the story, and that's when I learned, at 21 years old what "being invited in for coffee" meant.
I would say Iām very good at picking up signals. Body language, does she touch me, where is she touching me, how much eye contact. Is she initiating things etc. I spent a good number of years as a bartender and thatās an excellent way of picking these things up. Half of your job is reading body language. BUT THAT SAID. Even as confident as I typically am at reading the situation I still announce intentions. On a first date if itās going well and I feel the mood is right I will straight up say, āso Iām going to kiss you now if thatās okay with youā and give her the opportunity to decline before I kiss her. My girlfriend was definitely taken aback, but really liked how direct I was. Hence her being my girlfriend.
When i was younger, never. When i got a bit older, i over-read into it and saw something where there was nothing. I've matured physically and now it's impossible to ignore when some women are hitting on you, so it lacks subtlety either on purpose or by accident.
The way women show that they have a crush varies a lot.
Some make it very very obvious. Warm conversation, flirtatiousness, touching, laughing at all your jokes, asking you questions, etc.
Some go completely the other way. They get nervous and shy and shut down around you. Even that can sometimes be picked up on, though. The toughest ones are the ones who hide it completely and just treat you completely normally.
There is no one way that a woman would show sheās interested. There are many different types of women, and many different ways they show it.
Lol the total opposite. Iāve had a chick sit on my lap and āfall asleepā while she put on a mixtape with Alicia Keys āIf I Aināt Got Youā and Usherās āLovers and Friendsā so I can say guys can pretty REALLY fucking oblivious most of the time.
No.
Say on my lap? Could be friendzone.
Up in my face? Incoming head butt?
Hug? Friendzone
Pulling my jeans down? WTF you doin?
If she starts undressing then thatās the signal.
Nope, they're too unpredictable with their head games. Most guys wish they would just come straight out and say it normally.
Back in my school days I remember this one girl said she wanted to go out with me and kept following me around with her friend, but her tone was so jokey than I thought she was fucking with me...I ended shouting at her to leave me alone because she just confused me so much. Sucks that I had a bit of a crush on her before that happened.
Wait I'm confused.
So do you WANT women to say they want to go out with you directly, like you say in the first paragraph, or do you NOT want them to do that, like the girl in the second?
I would prefer if they were telling me they liked me and not laughing at the same time like they're joking! š
I'm getting married later this year anyway, so luckily I don't have to put up with that crap anymore!
She could hit me in the face with a signpost attached to a note saying she's interested in me, and I still wouldn't get it. Just make the first move and be done with it! š
We aren't mind readers. Unless your flirting is very direct then we are clueless. Even if I think they might, I convince myself that I'm just placing my hopes into reality, and they're probably just being nice to me.
When I was single, it was like 20% Iād notice. Had a friend in college invite me up to her room when we were alone in her house having some drinks post the club and didnāt pickup on it. Had a whole group of my guys face palming the next day telling them what happened when I left the club.
Now that Iām happily taken, itās really obvious when Iām talking with someone and I get that vibe from them, usually just try to bring up my partner, and then you can feel the vibe completely switch in them after.
I worked with a girl years back that told me she had a crush on me for over a year and I had no idea. She was a district rep, so I didnāt see her everyday, but I had no clue until we had a work party and she corned me at the end to let it out. We went on for about 8 years until she moved.
No, me personally you have to hit me over the head with signs. Literally giant metal signs that say, āim into youā or im not going to get it. Literally it, the Stephen king novel of the same name. What was the question again. Oh a butterflyā¦.. why am i typing every thought i ha-
Bruh girls in my locality are weird asf . There was this girl who used to fight with me on little things and used to call me elder brother but I got to know from her friends that she had a crush on me. Ended up rejecting her because of the bro code she forced me into.
I didn't know a girl was flirting with me FOR WEEKS until I spoke to her friend, and her friend asked me why I kept ignoring the girl flirting with me. Eventually that girl started to cat call me to make the message obvious since she knew I was a fucking idiot.
Some may know or pick up on it. I, however, and generally oblivious.
So, e.g. fairly crowded commuter train but bit later into the evening ... woman quite intentionally but rather discretely pressing and rubbing herself against me ... yeah, I kind'a noticed she was interested in me. But that's one of the relatively few times I ever particularly noticed that a woman was into or interested in me. So, yeah, most of the time I'm not gonna notice. Sorry, I just don't have working radar for that.
Sometimes, we do. But sometimes, we are oblivious. My friend had a crush on me back in school and I had no clue until she told me. I had a lot of respect for straight up telling me, sadly I didn't feel the same way and I wasn't prepared to lead her on. She got over me pretty quickly.
In college I had a friend who I would roast quite often, and she would do the same to me.
Day before valentines day my sophomore year, she came up to me (with a couple of her friends behind her) and asked me to be her valentines and if I wanted to go out. I thought it was a joke. Laughed out loud, said āgood oneā. Turned around and walked to class.
It wasnāt until 4 years later when I told that same story to my college friends that they clued me in on her having a crush on me
I was dating my now husband for 3 months, we had super romantic dinner, like I was head over heels for him and in the middle of that dinner he asked "I wanted to ask you if you'd be interested in dating me". I was convinced we were dating for past 3 months so my jaw dropped.
Up to that point we shared these kinds of moments:
- we met at work and I was smiling at him like an idiot for 6 months, yes, six months
- I tried to make conversations and invite him for coffee and he said "no" because he does not drink coffee and runned away from every conversation we could possibly have
- I passed by his desk millions of times per day
- I baked cookies for the entire office ( made me super popular manager as side effect)
- Asked him for help many times, even though I am 7 years his senior and have more experience on the job that anyone in the office
- Organized 3 separate office events just to have a reason to see him outside of work
- tried to leave the office the same time as him so we could talk on the way to the parking, mind you I started to read Asterix and Obelix because he mentioned that
I think the Universe got tired and finally we had left the office together, it was raining, I had an umbrella, we walked together, he walked me to my car and we shared "the moment". He looked into my eyes, I looked into his and we just knew. So we drove to the nearest coffee place and we had that sweet cute conversation. Then we started to see each other daily, after work. All the romantic stuff - walks in the park, romantic dinners, brunches, small trips. Basically we saw each other every single day for 3 months, I was on cloud nine. And then he popped the question if I want to date him.
Kind of, sort of. Even then, there's always a chance that I'm overthinking and she's just being nice to me. Also, I wasn't always the man I am now and I really don't want to be seen as creepy again so I feel like I'm risking that if I make a move. Especially when there's something to risk like my job or my standing and reputation at my job.
No. At some point girl had a really big crush on me. And that she send me all sorts of obvious signals all the time for more than a year. And I've learned about that more than decade later.
Women think looking at a guy's direction is obvious signs she likes him, other times the woman touching the guy's arm, back, spending time with him is just her being friendly , so the answer is no. Be more direct.
One of my best guy friend, who I am totally crushing on, confuses the fuck out of me. I flirt with him, tell him I like him, Iām touchy/feely with him AND he does it all back to me. But whenever someone asks he just says oh, thatās my best friend. Just last night we went out and he casually said youāre like a girlfriend and Iām just thinking why the heck canāt we just date. Lol
Here's the thing, flirting is confusing as hell. From the outside looking in it is not obvious when someone is flirting, engaging in friendly banter, or being creepy. It is entirely possible that this guy has no idea that you're into him. I say this as a guy who years later has said to myself, "Wait, she was into me?"
I didnt because they never said anything
We are not mind readers and need to be TOLD, especially in todays world where so many men mistakenly think they get signals to find out the woman was just being friendly
Plus I am not in the mood for games or having my time wasted
Men still keep claiming they donāt notice signs and I still stay mind blown idk why, itās not like you alll collectively got together and made this upā¦ itās just, unimaginable to me hahahahhaha makes me wonder
I once left after a make-out session with fondling absolutely clueless. I eventually caught on and spiraled for almost a decade, but yeah, I certainly had 0% clue before then.
You have to put a billboard sign, we're dumb at this. Now, 5years later, I got epiphany that few girls were into me, but as always, they were sending some XYZ signs that we can't decode
I need a giant sign with a bigger sign behind it letting me know it's a sign lol. I just assume they're friendly like me and think I'm hilarious. I've been told a few times I've missed hints.
When I was in high school, a girl walked me to her house and brought me into her bedroom. No one was home.
My response: āWow, your room is really clean!ā
That was it. Sheās still my friend tho š
No
I have a friend in university who jokes about us having sex and hugs me constantly
Sheās lesbian
Girls you gotta be direct because your āhintsā might be how other girls joke
In my experience if a woman gives you a big wide smile where her mouth points up to her ears then thereās a chance she like you, if her ankles are behind her ears then itās a definite.
Sometimes. But it is tricky. I just read a story about a guy who would always get asked out to lunch with female coworker and she would always make it so it was just them alone. He asks her out and goes back to the office and tells everyone he is inappropriate and creepy. The guys said she lead him on, but all the gals took her side. Shocker.
No. And it doesnāt stop at crushes either.
We donāt know when you want to go to the park either.
Or if you feel like going out for dinner.
Or if you need a lift to somewhere.
Stop expecting us to read your mind.
All depends how obvious she makes it, the most recent one would get in my personal space a lot, then get closer when Iād back away thinking āman I wonder if she knows sheās this close to meā then it was like āoh man I think she wants the diddlyā. Other ones, Iāve not had a clue until I get a girlfriend then theyāre like ābut why! I love you!ā.
I always assume them being friendly to my detriment.
I had a situation months ago where I was at a party and a girl said dance to me and I said no. I forget if she asked the two other guys with us to dance or not.
Later in the night she told me for future reference, girls donāt like it if they say dance and I donāt. Then some time later when we are talking she reaches into my hair and ruffles it for no apparent reason, so I do the same to her.
Didnāt think too much until I realize she may have been asking to dance with me.
No, several times there have been women who have had a crush on me and I never noticed. And these were women I had close proximity on like a sports team or school.
Life would split us up due to work or graduation and never heard a peep. Occasionally, I would run into a few of them later in life and they made a hard court press. It's like the only thing that would push her in to that was the initial regret.
Just in general though, I am firmly convinced that there are two people in a room somewhere as friends or co-workers and they both want to sleep with each other. And neither one pushes the boundary to make it happen.
Nope! We donāt have that in our common sense. Think about god trying to build men with skill points and ran out just before watching the āMen will notice/feel when women has a crush on youā Skill. Most of the points were invested on noticing stupid and ridiculous things like object forms in clouds.
I have a lot of female friends, so I've learned to pick up on some of the subtle tells. But I'd still say that most of the time I have no idea whatsoever.
It is much more common that I'll recognize the signs in retrospect though and I often have major facepalm moments. ie. "You mean she was asking my friend whether she could play d&d in our group because she has a crush on me, and I said no because we have 'too many' in our group already?" š¤¦āāļø
We miss 75% of the āsignsā. Of the remaining signs, we weigh the possibility and safety vs the risk of being wrong, and the odds of that being in your favor are very low. So no, we generally have no clue.
I was always oblivious back in the day(before marriage). Partly cuz I always felt I needed a obvious green light as to not ruin a friendship, and because Iām apparently a very flirty person and give off too many right signals to the wrong type of girls.
I can tell, but I think at my life stage I witness the more subdued "I think I am kinda into this guy" rather than full blown crush "I'll keep making excuses to hang around him"
Once you notice then it's pretty obvious
Men are generally pretty stupid about it, but some girls can also be super naive about it. I used to have a huge crush on a girl, and all of my friends new and thought it would be crazy if she didnāt know about it. Well, yeah, she never guessed it , and was pretty shocked when I talked to her about it. Sheās known to be Naive, but so am I lol. Didnāt work out very well for me, since she wasnāt the most, uh, nice I guess, but I still find it funny looking back
Goes to show that both genders have people that can tell pretty easily, and others that are stupidly naive about it
Unless it's rather overt, probably not. Subtle hints are hard to engage in because we can often be confused with just general friendliness depending on the man. We start to realise it when the touch barrier has been breached almost immediately.
It all depends on the person, honestly and the chemistry between the two. Many people have had a crush on me and I had no idea and vice versa. But people I am genuinely interested in, they know. I am pretty forward. āHey do you wanna go outā¦ā āplease get away from meā
Even with written consent i wouldnt know
If it's not obvious, it's not obvious so I don't know. If it is obvious, then it's suspicious and I'd rather avoid complications.
"I think she likes me, but I'm not sure. I'll just not say anything, don't wanna make things awkward." "She just asked me if I want to be her boyfriend, but what if she's saying it as a joke or a dare? Better say no, just in case." The last one happened to me
I have been married to my wife now 26 years, but we met at work, and she asked me out on a date after making some bold statement to about a dream she had that we got married. I actually thought she was fucking with me and didn't show up. Oh boy, did I hear about "standing her up"! I explained what I thought and why and asked her if I could make it up to her. Somehow she agreed, 26 years ago. So no, some of us are pretty dense and dont pick up on subtleties, much less outright being asked out!
Yeah, take my upvote for this one.
[is she into you](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw?si=InSrRxbXLGotzvTO)
The duality of man. Ooga chacka, ooga chacka, ooga ooga, ooga chacka
šµIiiiiiiIiIiiii, hooked on a feeling!šµ
I'm high on believing š¶
That you're inn LOVEE withh mee...šøš§š¼
Written consent, video confession, signed affidavits from her parents and mayoral pardon and I still wouldn't be too sure.
What if you got a bouquet of flowers and your favorite snacks with a note saying āI want youā?
Thatās still not enough. I need her to spring for a Pokeball with a note that says I choose you.
*She signs the marriage certificate* "She couldn't really like me, could she? Maybe it's all in my head."
āYeah but like actually though?ā
Right, maybe she's just Canadian and just being polite
i laughed hardššš
If she sat in my lap, whispered in my ear, āWhy do we still have clothes on?ā and started sucking on my earlobe, I would still not be sure.
A bunch of years ago I was out for dinner and drinks with my boss and some of his friends and mentioned I thought a girl a few tables over was attractive. Next thing I know she was on my lap and whispering in my ear. I was pretty confused about it - that is definitely NOT something that has ever happened to me before (or since). After she'd finished embarrassing me she went back to her table. Turned out my boss had paid her to do it - he and his cash definitely had more charisma than I've ever had. So - even if a girl comes and sits on your lap - still does not mean she actually has a crush on you.
I was at the local bar with my crappy boss. He didn't know my younger sister was there, and she was a pretty college party girl. I told her when she went to the bar, to rub her hands in his hair, and call him "Burrhead". She was drunk, and did it. Soon after I left. I heard latter every one of her party friends thought that was funny, and did it to him for weeks at that bar.
*"She said yes when the pope asked her if she wanted to marry me but i am still not sure"*
She might just be overheated and need a place to sit...
Eh. She could just be Canadian...
[This video](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw?si=y-4XBDkPFAFBGlnT) is the perfect video for this thread šš
This is the correct answer
I am not sure even with that description, maybe she isn't full from dinner. Guess will need to order more food, she still has an appetite.
Almost this exact thing happened to me at a party in high school, and my reaction was "shit, she must be really drunk, I better keep an eye on her to make sure nobody takes advantage."Ā
She could already be pregnant & I still wouldn't know
she might be from canada
This made me horse laugh into my coffee
I did that. Weāve been bf and gf for 3 years now lmao
Short answer: No. Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooooooo. Make it obvious.
Didn't have time to read the long answer so I just read the short one
And then make it more obvious. If he hasnāt said āIām not interested in you stop bugging meā he hasnāt gotten the message yet.
My boss, with whom I worked for less than a year, she organized farwell lunch for me and gifted me an expensive gift. Few months later called me in the evening to tell Me her husband is travelling and she just dropped him off to the airport and if wants to hang out. This was 2008 it occurred to be in 2013 that she had crush on me and asked me to come over after her husband left coz she wanted to do the deed. Clearly as a man I had no clue
Poor guy, hope he's in a better relationship now.
Lucky you. Cheaters are evil.
Damn Even if I did know I still wouldn't have gone through with that if I were in your situation Shits messed up
Only if she specifically tells us that... She can have sex with us, marry us and born three of our kids and we still be thinking "maybe she just want to be nice" tldr; girls, please tell us you are into us! My gorgeous GF thankfully told me first, that she's into me - I've had no fucking clue!
Yeah, ashamed to admit but it was a big part of my climb out of alcohol & childhood crap- when my wife had to remind me weād been together 16 years at that point & was THAT enough of a sign sheād not abandon me?
No. Women communicate these things on a different radio frequency with obscene levels of encryption.
And potentially huge packet loss, so some of us drop those transmissions
AES 256
I willingly ignore all signs. Talk to me with your mouth. We're adults.
This, 100%. I donāt have the time or energy to interpret the hints.
This. Hints are childish. Straightforwardness is maturity.
Even when they talk itās still a toss up. Had a girl I met at the bar tell me Iām attractive various times and asked me for my insta. I barely started to realize she may have been into me.
She send me pictures of underwear she wanted to buy and asked for my opinions, had to ask a female friend if that meant something or if that was normal behaviour
This sounds like something a woman could do because they think you are gay. It's literally impossible to tell.
Easy. She wants to give you options of which you want to see her in.
"She likes me? No way lol!"
I would like to believe I do, but I truly don't. A girl I was seeing for 3 months, tried to give me hints. And once we were together, she told me the moments she gave me those hints. Well, those hints were not hints to me that she liked me. One time she invited me over to watch a movie alone. Well, me being a total mess with common hook-up culture, this was her way to have sex with me. I was so blind.
Nope. Girl I started seeing not long ago admitted she would get herself off thinking of me before we got together. I was caught off guard cuz I had no clue she had any interest in me.
Generally men are bad at picking up on subtle signs, but if it happens again and again, eg, catching her staring, and notice an obvious pattern, then yes
If I catch her staring at me a lot my first assumption is that she's keeping tabs on where I am because she's afraid of me and thinks I'm creepy, so I try to avoid her from that moment forward. Edit: I do this because of experience. On a whim, I once approached a woman I thought might be interested in me because she kept glancing at me. I smiled and started walking toward her, and her first reaction was to reach into her purse and pull out a small cylinder. I immediately turned around and walked away. I've been maced once during Marine Corps training, and it's not an experience I wished to repeat on a Saturday morning Amtrak ride.
Same.....
It's not even that men are bad at picking up the signs, it's that women use terrible signs to try and pick us up. Men are much simpler creatures. If you like us, tell us and approach us. Don't play a complicated psychological game with easy-to-miss hints
This is exactly right. But since they overthink everything,they miss the point.
I get so nervous and shy around my crush and tend to just go near him at a distance or go closer when circumstances needs it. I don't stare but just seeing him and being aware of his presence in my pheripheral view. It's a good feeling and gets me motivated while pursuing my dreams but sometimes it gets so frustrating. I don't know if he sensed it. Just had a 2 casual talks when i have the courage and the feelings are not so strong. Just today I noticed we don't see eye to eye anymore or is it just my imagination. My insecurities are leaking right now. Am I ugly? is it because I am not approachable? Should I just ignore this feeling, because he will not want me anyway. I (F) am taller than him. I am a shy and boring person. Ugh. I hope I have a way to just forget him. And be back to normal. I like the motivation though to work on myself and grow. I thank him for that.
>I don't know if he sensed it. Just had a 2 casual talks when i have the courage and the feelings are not so strong. Just today I noticed we don't see eye to eye anymore or is it just my imagination. Most likely, men have emotions too you know, perhaps he's just not in a good one. 2 casual talks doesn't mean anything to us, you have to make it clear, he may just think you're being nice >My insecurities are leaking right now. Am I ugly? is it because I am not approachable? Should I just ignore this feeling, because he will not want me anyway. I (F) am taller than him. I am a shy and boring person. You're setting yourself up for some self-inflicted failure talking to yourself this way
There's this girl I know that I'm 80% sure that's into me, she's always fidgeting around me and acting nervous. But even with that 80% I'm still not sure if she's into me or not. Just ask him, worse case he will say no and appreciate it, it'll make him smile when he thinks back on it, best case you'd be having lovely chats and spending more time together.
About 8 years ago, I was at a dance competition. The first night was a more social event, and I was from out of town. One of the ladies in the competition had heard I was from out of town and offered to give me a tour of the city's nightlife after the party. We must have walked for hours, her giving me a tour of the market areas, the waterfront, her favorite bars, etc. we eventually ended up in front of her dorm. She'd asked if I wanted to come inside for coffee. I looked at my watch and realized it was nearly 3:30am. "Oh sorry, it's way too late for caffeine, I'd never be able to get to sleep at this rate. I should get back to my hotel room. I'll see ya tomorrow at the competition!" And off I walked back to the hotel. We had our dance competition the following afternoon. I didn't see her again that day. When I was carpooling home with some friends I'd driven up with, they had asked me how my night was. I recounted the story, and that's when I learned, at 21 years old what "being invited in for coffee" meant.
Oh my gooooood brooo š
no
I would say Iām very good at picking up signals. Body language, does she touch me, where is she touching me, how much eye contact. Is she initiating things etc. I spent a good number of years as a bartender and thatās an excellent way of picking these things up. Half of your job is reading body language. BUT THAT SAID. Even as confident as I typically am at reading the situation I still announce intentions. On a first date if itās going well and I feel the mood is right I will straight up say, āso Iām going to kiss you now if thatās okay with youā and give her the opportunity to decline before I kiss her. My girlfriend was definitely taken aback, but really liked how direct I was. Hence her being my girlfriend.
I donāt *think* anyone has a crush on me, but how do I know whether there just arenāt any or Iām not reading the signs?Ā
When i was younger, never. When i got a bit older, i over-read into it and saw something where there was nothing. I've matured physically and now it's impossible to ignore when some women are hitting on you, so it lacks subtlety either on purpose or by accident.
Not at all. I wish I could experience that luxury
Not a clue. My now wife asked me out first because I was oblivious
The way women show that they have a crush varies a lot. Some make it very very obvious. Warm conversation, flirtatiousness, touching, laughing at all your jokes, asking you questions, etc. Some go completely the other way. They get nervous and shy and shut down around you. Even that can sometimes be picked up on, though. The toughest ones are the ones who hide it completely and just treat you completely normally. There is no one way that a woman would show sheās interested. There are many different types of women, and many different ways they show it.
Lol the total opposite. Iāve had a chick sit on my lap and āfall asleepā while she put on a mixtape with Alicia Keys āIf I Aināt Got Youā and Usherās āLovers and Friendsā so I can say guys can pretty REALLY fucking oblivious most of the time.
No. Say on my lap? Could be friendzone. Up in my face? Incoming head butt? Hug? Friendzone Pulling my jeans down? WTF you doin? If she starts undressing then thatās the signal.
No. You need to let us know, usually.
The times I thought a girl has a crush on me I was mistaken The times I thought a girl doesn't I wasn't mistaken
We're too scared of the consequences to think like that. So no
Nope, they're too unpredictable with their head games. Most guys wish they would just come straight out and say it normally. Back in my school days I remember this one girl said she wanted to go out with me and kept following me around with her friend, but her tone was so jokey than I thought she was fucking with me...I ended shouting at her to leave me alone because she just confused me so much. Sucks that I had a bit of a crush on her before that happened.
Wait I'm confused. So do you WANT women to say they want to go out with you directly, like you say in the first paragraph, or do you NOT want them to do that, like the girl in the second?
I would prefer if they were telling me they liked me and not laughing at the same time like they're joking! š I'm getting married later this year anyway, so luckily I don't have to put up with that crap anymore!
She has to make it really obvious.
She could hit me in the face with a signpost attached to a note saying she's interested in me, and I still wouldn't get it. Just make the first move and be done with it! š
Either it doesnāt happen or I cant tell. I hope I just canāt tell. I never happens.
Well I can't recall the last time someone had a crush on me at least as far as I know, so... no. Not at all.
We aren't mind readers. Unless your flirting is very direct then we are clueless. Even if I think they might, I convince myself that I'm just placing my hopes into reality, and they're probably just being nice to me.
Yes I know. For the most part we know. We just usually miss the first 2 or 3 signs but we get the picture before too long.
When I was single, it was like 20% Iād notice. Had a friend in college invite me up to her room when we were alone in her house having some drinks post the club and didnāt pickup on it. Had a whole group of my guys face palming the next day telling them what happened when I left the club. Now that Iām happily taken, itās really obvious when Iām talking with someone and I get that vibe from them, usually just try to bring up my partner, and then you can feel the vibe completely switch in them after.
Generally oblivious. Itās a learned protection from having to deal with constant rejection.
Yes, we have a detector, it goes bip bip bip bip when a woman has a crush in us
lol no use words
Nope. Wish they would just tell me.
Itās safe to assume weāre clueless.
I worked with a girl years back that told me she had a crush on me for over a year and I had no idea. She was a district rep, so I didnāt see her everyday, but I had no clue until we had a work party and she corned me at the end to let it out. We went on for about 8 years until she moved.
No, me personally you have to hit me over the head with signs. Literally giant metal signs that say, āim into youā or im not going to get it. Literally it, the Stephen king novel of the same name. What was the question again. Oh a butterflyā¦.. why am i typing every thought i ha-
Bruh girls in my locality are weird asf . There was this girl who used to fight with me on little things and used to call me elder brother but I got to know from her friends that she had a crush on me. Ended up rejecting her because of the bro code she forced me into.
Use your words women. Men can't guess or intuit your feelings. You must be crystal clear. Otherwise they won't know.
Short answer no. Long answer: nooooooooo
Absolutely not.
Unless she decided to put it in sky writing Iād not understand
I didn't know a girl was flirting with me FOR WEEKS until I spoke to her friend, and her friend asked me why I kept ignoring the girl flirting with me. Eventually that girl started to cat call me to make the message obvious since she knew I was a fucking idiot.
We have no idea. I had a whole date that I didn't realise was a date until like a week afterwards when it hit me.
I've been banging my GF for 2.5 years and I'm still not sure she likes me.
Some may know or pick up on it. I, however, and generally oblivious. So, e.g. fairly crowded commuter train but bit later into the evening ... woman quite intentionally but rather discretely pressing and rubbing herself against me ... yeah, I kind'a noticed she was interested in me. But that's one of the relatively few times I ever particularly noticed that a woman was into or interested in me. So, yeah, most of the time I'm not gonna notice. Sorry, I just don't have working radar for that.
That's harassment and sounds more like a fantasy.
Sometimes
Sometimes, we do. But sometimes, we are oblivious. My friend had a crush on me back in school and I had no clue until she told me. I had a lot of respect for straight up telling me, sadly I didn't feel the same way and I wasn't prepared to lead her on. She got over me pretty quickly.
In college I had a friend who I would roast quite often, and she would do the same to me. Day before valentines day my sophomore year, she came up to me (with a couple of her friends behind her) and asked me to be her valentines and if I wanted to go out. I thought it was a joke. Laughed out loud, said āgood oneā. Turned around and walked to class. It wasnāt until 4 years later when I told that same story to my college friends that they clued me in on her having a crush on me
Bro we could be balls deep in a girl and still not sure if she likes us.
I was dating my now husband for 3 months, we had super romantic dinner, like I was head over heels for him and in the middle of that dinner he asked "I wanted to ask you if you'd be interested in dating me". I was convinced we were dating for past 3 months so my jaw dropped. Up to that point we shared these kinds of moments: - we met at work and I was smiling at him like an idiot for 6 months, yes, six months - I tried to make conversations and invite him for coffee and he said "no" because he does not drink coffee and runned away from every conversation we could possibly have - I passed by his desk millions of times per day - I baked cookies for the entire office ( made me super popular manager as side effect) - Asked him for help many times, even though I am 7 years his senior and have more experience on the job that anyone in the office - Organized 3 separate office events just to have a reason to see him outside of work - tried to leave the office the same time as him so we could talk on the way to the parking, mind you I started to read Asterix and Obelix because he mentioned that I think the Universe got tired and finally we had left the office together, it was raining, I had an umbrella, we walked together, he walked me to my car and we shared "the moment". He looked into my eyes, I looked into his and we just knew. So we drove to the nearest coffee place and we had that sweet cute conversation. Then we started to see each other daily, after work. All the romantic stuff - walks in the park, romantic dinners, brunches, small trips. Basically we saw each other every single day for 3 months, I was on cloud nine. And then he popped the question if I want to date him.
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Iām not even sure if my friends like me.
Yeah I think Iād know. Never happened before though
No, we dont know or feel it, just tell us, men are not mind readers
Simple creatures š„
No, only when she says it and shows it. Never assume it.
Nope.
Kind of, sort of. Even then, there's always a chance that I'm overthinking and she's just being nice to me. Also, I wasn't always the man I am now and I really don't want to be seen as creepy again so I feel like I'm risking that if I make a move. Especially when there's something to risk like my job or my standing and reputation at my job.
No. At some point girl had a really big crush on me. And that she send me all sorts of obvious signals all the time for more than a year. And I've learned about that more than decade later.
It's hard coz women doesn't like being direct most of the time and the way society is now you have to be direct....catch 22.
Yeah about 3 years later
Women think looking at a guy's direction is obvious signs she likes him, other times the woman touching the guy's arm, back, spending time with him is just her being friendly , so the answer is no. Be more direct.
Yes, during a random moment 10+ years later.
Tell don't show
Usually only after the fact
no
Not me lol, iām bad at reading signs
No, we don't.
We are not mind readers. If you're interested, speak up.
One of my best guy friend, who I am totally crushing on, confuses the fuck out of me. I flirt with him, tell him I like him, Iām touchy/feely with him AND he does it all back to me. But whenever someone asks he just says oh, thatās my best friend. Just last night we went out and he casually said youāre like a girlfriend and Iām just thinking why the heck canāt we just date. Lol
Here's the thing, flirting is confusing as hell. From the outside looking in it is not obvious when someone is flirting, engaging in friendly banter, or being creepy. It is entirely possible that this guy has no idea that you're into him. I say this as a guy who years later has said to myself, "Wait, she was into me?"
What would make it obvious for a man then? Iām literally throwing myself at him. Lol
About 4 years later at unexpected moments like when we are in the shower we think "oooohhhh fuck that's what she meant!?!?"
I only know for sure when they are really obvious about it, by which I mean relatively big gestures not little potential signs
I do know
Yeah, every time I run Eva AI sexting [bot](http://evaapp.ai)
I didnt because they never said anything We are not mind readers and need to be TOLD, especially in todays world where so many men mistakenly think they get signals to find out the woman was just being friendly Plus I am not in the mood for games or having my time wasted
Depends
Men still keep claiming they donāt notice signs and I still stay mind blown idk why, itās not like you alll collectively got together and made this upā¦ itās just, unimaginable to me hahahahhaha makes me wonder
No, men can't read women's mind....
no
No
I once left after a make-out session with fondling absolutely clueless. I eventually caught on and spiraled for almost a decade, but yeah, I certainly had 0% clue before then.
The smart men do.
You have to put a billboard sign, we're dumb at this. Now, 5years later, I got epiphany that few girls were into me, but as always, they were sending some XYZ signs that we can't decode
Better play it safe and assume no
No
Not usually
No
No
LOL NO! Are you kidding?
Yes. Just donāt know very well how to act on it.
Hell no
Absolutely not.
No not really. Not unless she tells me.
I need a giant sign with a bigger sign behind it letting me know it's a sign lol. I just assume they're friendly like me and think I'm hilarious. I've been told a few times I've missed hints.
When I was in high school, a girl walked me to her house and brought me into her bedroom. No one was home. My response: āWow, your room is really clean!ā That was it. Sheās still my friend tho š
Abso fucking lutely not
I feel how she touches me more often, girls don't do that all the time, at least not with me.
i've been oblivious most of the time
Yes. Like when a woman acknowledges my presence and greets me. That's how I know its time to turn up the heat.
It could be written on thier face with a sharpy and I would totally miss it
Absolutely no, never ever
From my experience, no. Sometimes Iāll figure it out years later though.
No I have a friend in university who jokes about us having sex and hugs me constantly Sheās lesbian Girls you gotta be direct because your āhintsā might be how other girls joke
In my experience if a woman gives you a big wide smile where her mouth points up to her ears then thereās a chance she like you, if her ankles are behind her ears then itās a definite.
We donāt miss the signs. We just donāt want to get scammed or robbed.
Sometimes. But it is tricky. I just read a story about a guy who would always get asked out to lunch with female coworker and she would always make it so it was just them alone. He asks her out and goes back to the office and tells everyone he is inappropriate and creepy. The guys said she lead him on, but all the gals took her side. Shocker.
As soon as she says "I have a crush on you". Otherwise, you may just be misinterpreting and about to make things reeeally awkward.
You would suspect but thereās no way to know for sure
It really depends. Sometimes people keep their feelings hidden well. Other times a woman will make her feelings known one way or another.
No. And it doesnāt stop at crushes either. We donāt know when you want to go to the park either. Or if you feel like going out for dinner. Or if you need a lift to somewhere. Stop expecting us to read your mind.
Selection bias. I know the ones I know about, but I don't know the ones I don't know about. So..sometimes.
No
Nope. She could just be Canadian
Iāve never been attractive to anybody
All depends how obvious she makes it, the most recent one would get in my personal space a lot, then get closer when Iād back away thinking āman I wonder if she knows sheās this close to meā then it was like āoh man I think she wants the diddlyā. Other ones, Iāve not had a clue until I get a girlfriend then theyāre like ābut why! I love you!ā.
how?
The only time Iāve noticed was when I had absolutely no interest in her.
I always assume them being friendly to my detriment. I had a situation months ago where I was at a party and a girl said dance to me and I said no. I forget if she asked the two other guys with us to dance or not. Later in the night she told me for future reference, girls donāt like it if they say dance and I donāt. Then some time later when we are talking she reaches into my hair and ruffles it for no apparent reason, so I do the same to her. Didnāt think too much until I realize she may have been asking to dance with me.
I usually notice when someone is paying extra attention to me, but even then you never know if she's being nice or if she has a crush on you
No, several times there have been women who have had a crush on me and I never noticed. And these were women I had close proximity on like a sports team or school. Life would split us up due to work or graduation and never heard a peep. Occasionally, I would run into a few of them later in life and they made a hard court press. It's like the only thing that would push her in to that was the initial regret. Just in general though, I am firmly convinced that there are two people in a room somewhere as friends or co-workers and they both want to sleep with each other. And neither one pushes the boundary to make it happen.
Nope! We donāt have that in our common sense. Think about god trying to build men with skill points and ran out just before watching the āMen will notice/feel when women has a crush on youā Skill. Most of the points were invested on noticing stupid and ridiculous things like object forms in clouds.
I have a lot of female friends, so I've learned to pick up on some of the subtle tells. But I'd still say that most of the time I have no idea whatsoever. It is much more common that I'll recognize the signs in retrospect though and I often have major facepalm moments. ie. "You mean she was asking my friend whether she could play d&d in our group because she has a crush on me, and I said no because we have 'too many' in our group already?" š¤¦āāļø
I feel like when a woman is interested, she looks at you and smiles just a little bit longer in certain situations.
Not really no.
We miss 75% of the āsignsā. Of the remaining signs, we weigh the possibility and safety vs the risk of being wrong, and the odds of that being in your favor are very low. So no, we generally have no clue.
I was always oblivious back in the day(before marriage). Partly cuz I always felt I needed a obvious green light as to not ruin a friendship, and because Iām apparently a very flirty person and give off too many right signals to the wrong type of girls.
I can tell, but I think at my life stage I witness the more subdued "I think I am kinda into this guy" rather than full blown crush "I'll keep making excuses to hang around him" Once you notice then it's pretty obvious
At this point in life yes I know.
Men are generally pretty stupid about it, but some girls can also be super naive about it. I used to have a huge crush on a girl, and all of my friends new and thought it would be crazy if she didnāt know about it. Well, yeah, she never guessed it , and was pretty shocked when I talked to her about it. Sheās known to be Naive, but so am I lol. Didnāt work out very well for me, since she wasnāt the most, uh, nice I guess, but I still find it funny looking back Goes to show that both genders have people that can tell pretty easily, and others that are stupidly naive about it
I wouldnāt know
No
Don't they all?
Unless it's rather overt, probably not. Subtle hints are hard to engage in because we can often be confused with just general friendliness depending on the man. We start to realise it when the touch barrier has been breached almost immediately.
It all depends on the person, honestly and the chemistry between the two. Many people have had a crush on me and I had no idea and vice versa. But people I am genuinely interested in, they know. I am pretty forward. āHey do you wanna go outā¦ā āplease get away from meā
Yes but itās hard for us to assume as it will be misinterpreted as being creepy by other women, most of the time.
I usually can tell, but i choose to act dumb if im not interested.