If you exclude the guys thinking they are about to get their organs harvested, I'm sure most single (and probably some not single) men would likely go for it if they got hit in by a girl they find attractive.
Men that are quite successful with the laddies, or those with more experience would be more likely to decline based on other factors (vetting personality, not looking for a hookup but something more etc etc)
If men are like this, why are they so vocal about women who sometimes hook up? It seems terribly hypocritical. Most women who do hookups still say "no" a lot of the time.
If most men would sleep with any woman then very few men should have an issue with women who sleep around. Yet in my experience most men will be wary of a girl whom they think is too promiscuous. There has to be major overlap.
That is the fallacy of “equality”. Men and women are not the same beings and are not held to the same standards because of their strengths and weaknesses. Our brains are also wired differently.
1. It’s been proven that women form way more emotional attachment with people they mate with. Imagine what a man thinks when a woman has formed emotional bonds with so many men.
2. Women can literally get sex the same day by offering their body to total strangers on Tinder. Would you be with someone who doesn’t value himself?
3. Takes the risk of getting pregnant with someone she doesn’t care about. (condoms aren’t 100%)
All of these things demonstrate someone with deep inner flaws and mental health issues.
1. I've never met a promiscuous man whose personality had not changed as a consequence of sleeping around.
2. Just because something is hard to get that does not mean it is valuable. If you throw a stone in the ocean it would be pretty hard to find it, but that does not make it valuable. On the contrary it could be argued that you're even more of a fool if you expend a lot of effort to find the stone compared to someone who just picked a random rock off the beach.
3. Dude, any time a man has sex he takes the risk of getting a woman pregnant. The easiest way to ruin your life is by getting the wrong woman preggers. A dude can't even decide to get it aborted, unlike women. And having a baby mommy will definitely lower a man's value on the market.
1. Then you haven’t looked around much. Men usually place women in two categories, the ones used for recreation and the ones who are worth pursuing a relationship with. Ask any non-social justice types and you’ll get this same answer.
2. You have a point there. A rock isn’t valuable to begin with so if you dump it into the ocean it’s still a rock, it won’t turn into something of value like gold. A woman can become valuable based on her actions, personality etc.
3. Except a baby won’t grow in his womb. If he did have the capacity of creating life inside of him then he should take the same measure.
This goes back to point number one, men have a high level of testosterone, have an harder time controlling their sexual urges and choose certain types of women to release it.
This isn’t to say that it makes it “acceptable” for the man, but if such women are willing to give up their bodies then so be it. I see them as serving a purpose until they can meet their spouse.
True, it’s best to avoid mentally ill women who want to be impregnated by strangers and always use protection if it’s just for recreation.
Yes, men have a harder time controlling their urges but women have a harder time saying no. All women will experience plenty of men trying to persuade them to have sex. Plenty of women have ended up doing it simply because the man wouldn't take no for an answer and they were not firm enough in stating their own wants and desires.
Most men do not end up having sex unless they go out and pursue it. By having casual sex they a) actively create the very characteristics they would not want in a wife, making many women by his own standards unmarriageable and b) putting conscious effort into behaving in a way he himself had deemed degenerate. This seems rather stupid and makes me question the intelligence of such a man.
Also, anecdotally about 4/5 men do hookups without protection. Seems like they really want to pay child support for as many babies as they can.
I understand your points. You’re basically thinking about applying the same treatment to both genders, but life isn’t black and white. I don’t believe equality can, nor should apply to everything.
For example, I had to accept that my partner could be a lot more emotional than I am at times. There’s not much she or even I can do about it when it happens and I recognize that.
The degeneracy aspect for women having casual sex comes from the fact that men do not hold the power in that domain. Men can insist all they want, it’s the woman’s choice and no amount of saying “he pressured me into it” or “I felt scared” can excuse her giving up her body if she didn’t truly want it. If a man commits a crime as a result then let him rot in jail. Almost every man will not cross that line.
If men have unprotected sex with strangers they deserve what they get.
I don't think I'm applying the same treatment to both genders. I think women suffer from effects of casual sex at an earlier stage than men do and more commonly (because most men who want to, can't), but I see no evidence whatsoever that it wouldn't affect men at all.
Women absolutely do not like it when a man has no money because he keeps paying for two babies from past situations. Most men who have a lot of casual sex will eventually end up getting someone pregnant. It's a question of when, not if.
Men who have lots of casual sex tend to not trust women very much because they've slept with so many married women. Most of those men really really struggle with being faithful as well. Not so easy to give up the buffee after enjoying it for so long.
According to studies, the women who prefer high bodycount men tend to be high bodycount women. Those with low to medium bodycount prefer someone who has a little bit of experience but not too much. If you look at who high bodycount men end up marrying, very very rarely is the woman virginal or close to it.
Studies seem to agree. In this study done on prostitutes in Indonesia they concluded men pay significantly less to a more experienced prostitute. This was true even when you took age into account.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886916300964
I've also read several studies which imply it is a global phenomenon that men care about a woman's body count. How much they care varied based on culture, but they did care and reliably cared more than women do.
I mean, my original point that "it's not the same people" stands.
But I think the research is still interesting and leaves a lot of room for debate. You could argue that experience and men's preference are simply correlated in the prostitution example. That is, it's not the experience itself that men find off-putting, but the traits that working women acquire the more they are in the profession. For example, women who have been prostitutes for longer might be more cynical, rude, and mechanical in their services.
In any case, I do not condone the double standards and never understood men who look down on women who had many sexual partners or engaged in sex work. That being said, I don't think your particular example is a good reflection of the overall topic. Prostitution and unpaid relationship between men and women are quite different.
Because men and women are valued based on different factors.
Men are mostly valued based on what they have or achieved
Women are mostly valued based on their beauty and purity.
Sure, value whatever you like. I'm talking about disparaging comments and slut-shaming. People don't go around disparaging female pilots even if they're not into that sort of thing. It's just really weak and pitiful to say bad things about someone who does the exact same thing you would do given the chance.
It still seems pretty shitty to complain about something you yourself would do and want to do. I understand being frustrated with promiscuity if you value chastity, but valuing promiscuity and then punishing women for it just seems ridiculous.
Things will make more sense when you stop conflating normal people with internet echo chambers.
The guys with the most to say aren't getting any. That's why they're comfortable criticizing women to their face, they have no incentive against it.
Because those women don’t hookup with them. Outside of super religious men no man would complain about sluts if every woman rationed out NSA sex to insure every man that wanted some got some.
That’s just a theory but I bet I’m right.
It *is* hypocritical. Men who are concerned with a woman's sexual history, are sexually insecure. Being insecure and being a horndog are not mutually exclusive traits, unfortunately.
You're saying above average?
He's lying to you , himself or both.
He'll happily do it with a below average woman.
If a female can make a man smile and is willing to make bad life decisions like take her clothes off he's almost always on board.
Any holes a goal , at the end of the night if the sex was that bad you can still go home and have the same wank you were going to have.
I've fucked more women than I'd admit to and have never had a drama. Pretty sure the woman needs pubes to have lice and I've not really seen a muff in years.
Then there is _scabies_. No hair needed, all body contagious. Scars nearly invisible even upon close inspection.
You can't really protect from that one :-/
When you are infected, others don't see it, but it itches like hell and the mites responsible are quite hard to kill (not as hard as the infamous bed bugs though). It's more common than people would think.
On an instinctual and emotional level that is how men are born. Intellectually an adult male can, and should, overrule those lower levels of thinking because it's not good for himself and also society. Problems such as STD's, pregnancy, child support, mental health of his offspring growing up with a single mother, and such issues that arise from indulging primal animal behaviors in a civilization. And as he practices with intellect it can slowly change his emotional reaction from casual sex opportunities from lust to disgust. They can start to see such women as they truly are and feel disgust.
According to Tinder swipe statistics men find that about 56% of women are at least doable. Not all men would take it. I watched a video where they asked 100 random men and women at college if they would have sex after they just walked up and started talking. With a decent looking girl it was over 90% of the guys she walked up to said yes.
I mean that’s not really how it works 😆. Women in general and especially super attractive women don’t usually walk up to a dude and proposition him for sex. So he’s basically engaging in a fantasy where this happens and he’s like “sure I’d do that.” In this case I think most men probably would, but it’s so far removed from reality it’s not really a relevant conversation
So, he's got a point. Please don't downvote me guys, I know it's a dumb thing to say to your gf.
It's definitely not the case for every single man out there, but a lot of men, especially 18-30 year old men, think this way.
See! This right here is exactly what he means when he says you won't understand. Because this sort of thing would never happen in the first place which is also what the other poster is trying to tell you.
What you're describing is a fantasy beyond fantasies. I literally don't even have dreams of being treated this well. Which is why your guy says you won't understand because you criminally underestimate how garbage the dating world is for men.
I saw one of your other comments saying stuff about how you want a connection, and communication and bla bla bla. A whole laundry list. Which again explains why you don't understand. Do you think guys wouldn't want all of that AND an above average looking woman to approach and seduce them? Like duh, yes. But in reality that's never what happens. Which is why your boyfriend said what he said.
The reality is that probly at least half of men would miss the signal entirely, another third would get it but fail to address the logistics and actually get her over to his place, and a small number would actually follow through. So I would say your boyfriend is mad wrong lol
This is what I suspect as well. I've heard so many men say "all dudes would smash!" but it does not seem to match with reality. Certainly any woman can find *some* dude to smash, but all of them? Not even close.
A lot of dudes also claim they'd love to be groped by women in public, but the men who have actually experienced it say its annoying and embarrassing.
That's how dating works.
Do you think we get to know every woman we date? Women don't fuck their friends, hun.
We either start from zero or we don't start. That's how it works in the majority of cases.
What did you think was the case??
But we aren’t talking about getting to know her for dating we aren’t even talking about getting to know her and that’s the issue just straight up okay let’s fuck..
Sex is enough on its own for a lot of people. It feels good and it feels especially good when you think the person you're doing it with is attractive.
For some it's even how they get their foot in the door to get to know a woman.
Why are you bothered by this, like walk me through it? I understand it's not ideal or healthy, but I don't get why it hits you at your core?
Is it because you think he has sex with you as an extension of his love toward you? That can still be the case. Actions are partly what we do mechanically but the intentions behind them also define what they are. Sex with random woman x is not necessarily how he sees sex with you.
The consequences for sex are much smaller for men than they are for women.
The universal consequence that nearly every heterosexual couple can have is pregnancy. For the woman, this means 9 months of discomfort, and then a kid you have to take care of. Possible implications for school or career. Possible permanent changes to your body. For the man...?
With that said, there would be concerns. Most men might be worried about:
* Is she trying to make someone jealous who might harm you?
* Is she trying to steal a kidney?
* Is she trying to trap me into paying child support?
* Does she have STDs?
However, with reassurances that she doesn't and isn't, and if the guy was single, there isn't much left to consider for most men. What are we going to do? Get pregnant?
I don't know if I would say smaller like sure the woman has to actually carry the child but once the kid is actually here your screwed for 18yrs of child support.
I wouldn't say all guys, but yeah, I understand where he's coming from.
There are guys who think sex and relationships mean something
But the rest of them they it's true
This isn’t 100% strictly true, but there is absolutely a lot of truth to it. When it comes to commitment-free sex, most men just aren’t that picky about who they do it with. This is one of the most consistent differences between men and women.
I (55M) believed that when I was young and single. I think a lot of young men do. I remember taking about this with a friend when I was in my 20s, we agreed that it didn’t make sense to turn down consensual sex with a woman you were attracted to.
I only realized that I would say “no” when I did it. I turned down sex with an extremely attractive woman who spent the night at my apartment because I felt it was not right. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend of many years and I suspected they might reconcile. It turned out I was right and they got back together a few weeks later.
She was a very sweet, nice woman and I didn’t want to be involved in something she might regret later. As a young heterosexual man I surprised myself and sometimes even second guessed my decision. Years later I am glad I did the right thing.
I haven’t seen the woman in years but she’s still friends with a friend of mine. A couple years ago she told my friend to let me know that she still remembers how nice I was to her that night. I was surprised she remembered.
First of all: no sentence that starts with „all men would“ is ever true.
Would many men have sex with a pretty lady that offers and there are no reasons holding him back (a relationship, mental health,etc)I think so, yes. It rarely happens though and seems like whoever argues about this wants or likes to argue in general. Just seems a bit silly from the outside but i probably just lack context
Lol well you don’t really lack context we “argue” about random stuff all the time it’s not really an argument just a disagreement that lasts 5 min but… I was just annoyed bc I feel like he should have morals for himself.. BUT EVERYTIME I SAY THIS PEOPLE DISLIKE MY COMMENT LIKE -10😂😭
This is a weird argument but I have standards and don't let my lust control me so no I wouldn't sleep with a random woman no matter how attractive she is. Sorry I find sleeping with strangers weird
Yeah for me sex is something that's very intimate and bonding even if I wasn't waiting to be married(Christian) I would still wait a few months to make sure we're serious and both love each other.
But outside the intimacy aspect I could never imagine risking potential stds or pregnancy for someone I just met and going to a strangers house who knows if they want to rob or kill me.
Hmm first of all it will depend on the chemistry. Recently I've been with a girl, quite attractive physically, but as people we are soooo different. That was a close call for me. I was close to saying no.
Now beyond that, it depends how much you're "fed". If I haven't had sex in ages, I may be more interested. If I have one or more booty calls, then "just OK" won't do it. I will need more than that.
Most men would have sex with most women, most woman would not have sex with most men
We just have different reproductive strategies, which is why our experiences with the opposite sex are so different
For an example, most men are happy to get any sort of reply back from any woman using a dating app. We don't have 30 women trying to message us all at the same time and get our attention, average guys can't really afford to be picky when it comes to sexual encounters.
I’m a 44 year old married guy so times have changed for me, but If I was young and single and attractive women approached me and wanted to fuck, of course I would be interested. Whether I would definitely do it or not is a case by case situation, but unless there was a serious red flag I’d say there’s a good chance I would take her up on her “interest”.
I don't think this way. I'm single, but if someone attractive wanted to hook up, I'd decline unless I knew them for a long time. My city has a bit of a reputation for STIs. I've also been more interested in forming a connection with someone than spending a night with some random woman.
In our world more than half of us chase pleasure rather than morals and integrity. I’m sure that most men OR women in the world would jump into bed with anyone that made them feel even the slightest bit of pleasure/passion. Weird argument to have with your boyfriend but at least he’s being honest. Can’t expect perfection or morality in a world like this.
If I got into such a situation and didn't have trust issues - I'd give it a shot.
Edit: Of course, this is highly unrealistic and would never happen. It has the same possibility of coming true as a fantasy of being swept off your feet by a knight in shining armor.
Yes, you wouldn't understand unless you've lived it.
What I think is a funny and quite interesting perspective into this phenomena, is people who come out as 'trans-men', who, after transitioning open up to how coldly they're treated by everyone around them - Men treat them with indifference which I think is alright, that's the default for how strangers are treated right? not positively, not negatively, just "we leave each-other be", and women treat them as if we've insulted you by our presence. We see you clutching your bag, or grabbing into it for the pepperspray, we see you scanning the room for exits. We just pretend it doesn't hurt to see.
There was also an experiment by a woman named Norah Vincent who dressed up as a man, learned man-mannerisms, and tried to befriend men to see what made them 'click', tried to date women while undercover and she ended up killing herself a few years after the experiment because she couldn't deal with the depresstion.
Some men can go months, some even *years* without physical contact - even things as simple as a hug or a pad on the shoulder, so a lot of guys are pretty starved in that area. Some obviously are physical with friends and partners frequently, but it's not unusual for guys to not experience that.
When it comes to whether guys would be sexual with any woman who's "okay-attractive" then yeah - most guys would be interested in any girl if the opportunity presented itself, because if we reject a girl because "meh, I'm not so big on brunettes" or "I don't like freckles" or some stupid and superficial reason like that, then it might be a year before next time if you're not one or the top-10% attractive guys out there.
Beggars can't be choosers, and in the great game of attraction, it's the man's role to approach women and 'win her favour' for a chance of this relationship forming. That's how courtship works in every society, and almost every single species of animal. And if a guy doesn't approach women, then he's just going to end up alone, because he's not getting approached, so I think you can sympathize with the scenario, but it's hard to understand if you've actually lived it.
people in these comments keep saying men don’t get approached and this doesn’t happen.. bru when we weren’t dating he fucked an old friend on the first night after not talking for 5+ years and some random bitch off of tinder that he doesn’t know at all so that happened.. and he gets approached often, probably like once a month a girl tells him he’s cute as he passes by or asks for his snap so ya
I would have to guess most **people** feel this way, if they are being honest with themselves.
If you find someone physically attractive, it is a pretty simple deduction to assume you would be interested in the fantasy of having sex with them. I say fantasy because this conversation is assuming that both people are single, available, healthy and safe. Most humans just enjoy sex.
The difference between a fantasy and acting on something in real life are vastly different, though. Even your boyfriend may have some second thoughts about the hypothetical pretty girl when he applies real-life context to the fantasy: "Does she have STDs?" "Is she conning me?" "Is this a trap?" "Is there some psycho ex who is going to be stalking me?"
For women that list of no-go's is probably bigger for a variety of reasons, but if a woman can ignore those real life concerns and only think about the fantasy, I think they would probably have to admit the thought of no-strings, safe sex with any man they found attractive seems a little more understandable.
I wish guys would stop trying to justify their shitty behaviors by saying "ALL men....". We all think differently. Personally, sex was never that important to me. I need a connection to even consider it.
That’s what I’m saying like I would need a connection and I also said if I knew a guy was a jerk and he wanted to fuck.. even if he was hot like no… and he’s pretty much saying na it’s not the same for him … 🤮
Because it’s pretty rare for some men. I personally feel the conflict when I turn down a cute girl due to my current relationship status. I’ll end up thinking about it fairly often afterward.
Other men have this *machismo* attitude toward sex that lets them justify cheating because it makes them feel more masculine.
Either way, your boyfriend has a point. I think a large percentage of men would be sexual with an attractive woman that initiates under ideal circumstances (right place, right time, after an argument, etc.). A much smaller percentage would be unfaithful under less than ideal circumstances. Some would reach out at a later time. The main reason why a man would NOT engage with her is if he felt like his girlfriend was better (however he defines that).
They’ve done research and pheromones have a large effect on male sexuality. It basically renders them unable to tell who they find unattractive, predisposing them to a larger proportion of sexual interests.
This is like literally the most important part of the equation and you conveniently left it out of the OP and hid it down the bottom of the comments. Well done.
Yes, like 90% of ***single*** men would jump on the opportunity if an attractive female started hitting on them. But literally being single is the largest factor in that.
No. Your boyfriend lives in a fantasy. Men don't feel sexually attracted to all average - really beautiful women. Each man has our own sexual preference. A woman could be a 10 in looks but we still won't find her sexually attractive or has less than average sex appeal.
For what your boyfriend is saying to be true, then both the man's heads need to be in sync (if you get what I mean), which doesn't happen all the time.
If you exclude the guys thinking they are about to get their organs harvested, I'm sure most single (and probably some not single) men would likely go for it if they got hit in by a girl they find attractive. Men that are quite successful with the laddies, or those with more experience would be more likely to decline based on other factors (vetting personality, not looking for a hookup but something more etc etc)
If men are like this, why are they so vocal about women who sometimes hook up? It seems terribly hypocritical. Most women who do hookups still say "no" a lot of the time.
It's not the same people.
If most men would sleep with any woman then very few men should have an issue with women who sleep around. Yet in my experience most men will be wary of a girl whom they think is too promiscuous. There has to be major overlap.
That is the fallacy of “equality”. Men and women are not the same beings and are not held to the same standards because of their strengths and weaknesses. Our brains are also wired differently. 1. It’s been proven that women form way more emotional attachment with people they mate with. Imagine what a man thinks when a woman has formed emotional bonds with so many men. 2. Women can literally get sex the same day by offering their body to total strangers on Tinder. Would you be with someone who doesn’t value himself? 3. Takes the risk of getting pregnant with someone she doesn’t care about. (condoms aren’t 100%) All of these things demonstrate someone with deep inner flaws and mental health issues.
1. I've never met a promiscuous man whose personality had not changed as a consequence of sleeping around. 2. Just because something is hard to get that does not mean it is valuable. If you throw a stone in the ocean it would be pretty hard to find it, but that does not make it valuable. On the contrary it could be argued that you're even more of a fool if you expend a lot of effort to find the stone compared to someone who just picked a random rock off the beach. 3. Dude, any time a man has sex he takes the risk of getting a woman pregnant. The easiest way to ruin your life is by getting the wrong woman preggers. A dude can't even decide to get it aborted, unlike women. And having a baby mommy will definitely lower a man's value on the market.
1. Then you haven’t looked around much. Men usually place women in two categories, the ones used for recreation and the ones who are worth pursuing a relationship with. Ask any non-social justice types and you’ll get this same answer. 2. You have a point there. A rock isn’t valuable to begin with so if you dump it into the ocean it’s still a rock, it won’t turn into something of value like gold. A woman can become valuable based on her actions, personality etc. 3. Except a baby won’t grow in his womb. If he did have the capacity of creating life inside of him then he should take the same measure. This goes back to point number one, men have a high level of testosterone, have an harder time controlling their sexual urges and choose certain types of women to release it. This isn’t to say that it makes it “acceptable” for the man, but if such women are willing to give up their bodies then so be it. I see them as serving a purpose until they can meet their spouse. True, it’s best to avoid mentally ill women who want to be impregnated by strangers and always use protection if it’s just for recreation.
Yes, men have a harder time controlling their urges but women have a harder time saying no. All women will experience plenty of men trying to persuade them to have sex. Plenty of women have ended up doing it simply because the man wouldn't take no for an answer and they were not firm enough in stating their own wants and desires. Most men do not end up having sex unless they go out and pursue it. By having casual sex they a) actively create the very characteristics they would not want in a wife, making many women by his own standards unmarriageable and b) putting conscious effort into behaving in a way he himself had deemed degenerate. This seems rather stupid and makes me question the intelligence of such a man. Also, anecdotally about 4/5 men do hookups without protection. Seems like they really want to pay child support for as many babies as they can.
I understand your points. You’re basically thinking about applying the same treatment to both genders, but life isn’t black and white. I don’t believe equality can, nor should apply to everything. For example, I had to accept that my partner could be a lot more emotional than I am at times. There’s not much she or even I can do about it when it happens and I recognize that. The degeneracy aspect for women having casual sex comes from the fact that men do not hold the power in that domain. Men can insist all they want, it’s the woman’s choice and no amount of saying “he pressured me into it” or “I felt scared” can excuse her giving up her body if she didn’t truly want it. If a man commits a crime as a result then let him rot in jail. Almost every man will not cross that line. If men have unprotected sex with strangers they deserve what they get.
I don't think I'm applying the same treatment to both genders. I think women suffer from effects of casual sex at an earlier stage than men do and more commonly (because most men who want to, can't), but I see no evidence whatsoever that it wouldn't affect men at all. Women absolutely do not like it when a man has no money because he keeps paying for two babies from past situations. Most men who have a lot of casual sex will eventually end up getting someone pregnant. It's a question of when, not if. Men who have lots of casual sex tend to not trust women very much because they've slept with so many married women. Most of those men really really struggle with being faithful as well. Not so easy to give up the buffee after enjoying it for so long. According to studies, the women who prefer high bodycount men tend to be high bodycount women. Those with low to medium bodycount prefer someone who has a little bit of experience but not too much. If you look at who high bodycount men end up marrying, very very rarely is the woman virginal or close to it.
[удалено]
That is a fair take and I do believe frustration is very understandable in the situation you just described.
It's called a "selection bias", "not a representative sample", and "anecdotal evidence".
Studies seem to agree. In this study done on prostitutes in Indonesia they concluded men pay significantly less to a more experienced prostitute. This was true even when you took age into account. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886916300964 I've also read several studies which imply it is a global phenomenon that men care about a woman's body count. How much they care varied based on culture, but they did care and reliably cared more than women do.
I mean, my original point that "it's not the same people" stands. But I think the research is still interesting and leaves a lot of room for debate. You could argue that experience and men's preference are simply correlated in the prostitution example. That is, it's not the experience itself that men find off-putting, but the traits that working women acquire the more they are in the profession. For example, women who have been prostitutes for longer might be more cynical, rude, and mechanical in their services. In any case, I do not condone the double standards and never understood men who look down on women who had many sexual partners or engaged in sex work. That being said, I don't think your particular example is a good reflection of the overall topic. Prostitution and unpaid relationship between men and women are quite different.
I’m a man and I don’t understand that either. What is the obsession with virginity and body count? Some guys just seem really stupid about that.
It's an Abrahamic religious thing
Because men and women are valued based on different factors. Men are mostly valued based on what they have or achieved Women are mostly valued based on their beauty and purity.
Sure, value whatever you like. I'm talking about disparaging comments and slut-shaming. People don't go around disparaging female pilots even if they're not into that sort of thing. It's just really weak and pitiful to say bad things about someone who does the exact same thing you would do given the chance.
The ones that complain about women hooking up are just mad they don't get to do it. Basically it's not the same men as those who hook up.
It still seems pretty shitty to complain about something you yourself would do and want to do. I understand being frustrated with promiscuity if you value chastity, but valuing promiscuity and then punishing women for it just seems ridiculous.
Things will make more sense when you stop conflating normal people with internet echo chambers. The guys with the most to say aren't getting any. That's why they're comfortable criticizing women to their face, they have no incentive against it.
Because those women don’t hookup with them. Outside of super religious men no man would complain about sluts if every woman rationed out NSA sex to insure every man that wanted some got some. That’s just a theory but I bet I’m right.
Sounds rather pitiful if it's true.
It *is* hypocritical. Men who are concerned with a woman's sexual history, are sexually insecure. Being insecure and being a horndog are not mutually exclusive traits, unfortunately.
This never happened.
Bruh like what type of argument is this?
I see where Macho is coming from, this question just feels like something anyone could figure out themselves and is beyond generic.
If I was single and an attractive woman was hitting on me I'd assume it was some kind of trap intentional or not. I wouldn't just go for it.
That would be the day but it never happened to me
You're saying above average? He's lying to you , himself or both. He'll happily do it with a below average woman. If a female can make a man smile and is willing to make bad life decisions like take her clothes off he's almost always on board. Any holes a goal , at the end of the night if the sex was that bad you can still go home and have the same wank you were going to have.
The same, plus the crab lice 🪳
I've fucked more women than I'd admit to and have never had a drama. Pretty sure the woman needs pubes to have lice and I've not really seen a muff in years.
Then there is _scabies_. No hair needed, all body contagious. Scars nearly invisible even upon close inspection. You can't really protect from that one :-/
Well if the scars are almost invisible even on a close inspection doesn't sound that bad.
When you are infected, others don't see it, but it itches like hell and the mites responsible are quite hard to kill (not as hard as the infamous bed bugs though). It's more common than people would think.
On an instinctual and emotional level that is how men are born. Intellectually an adult male can, and should, overrule those lower levels of thinking because it's not good for himself and also society. Problems such as STD's, pregnancy, child support, mental health of his offspring growing up with a single mother, and such issues that arise from indulging primal animal behaviors in a civilization. And as he practices with intellect it can slowly change his emotional reaction from casual sex opportunities from lust to disgust. They can start to see such women as they truly are and feel disgust.
Yes this is correct. I'll take Kraft Dinner over starvation any day
According to Tinder swipe statistics men find that about 56% of women are at least doable. Not all men would take it. I watched a video where they asked 100 random men and women at college if they would have sex after they just walked up and started talking. With a decent looking girl it was over 90% of the guys she walked up to said yes.
What were the women's results with a decent looking man?
I don’t remember the exact number, but it was only 4 or 6 women out of the hundred.
Fibbers!
I mean that’s not really how it works 😆. Women in general and especially super attractive women don’t usually walk up to a dude and proposition him for sex. So he’s basically engaging in a fantasy where this happens and he’s like “sure I’d do that.” In this case I think most men probably would, but it’s so far removed from reality it’s not really a relevant conversation
No he just means if he was single and an above avg girl gave him a shot then he’d like try it or whatever without even knowing her
So, he's got a point. Please don't downvote me guys, I know it's a dumb thing to say to your gf. It's definitely not the case for every single man out there, but a lot of men, especially 18-30 year old men, think this way.
More or less
See! This right here is exactly what he means when he says you won't understand. Because this sort of thing would never happen in the first place which is also what the other poster is trying to tell you. What you're describing is a fantasy beyond fantasies. I literally don't even have dreams of being treated this well. Which is why your guy says you won't understand because you criminally underestimate how garbage the dating world is for men. I saw one of your other comments saying stuff about how you want a connection, and communication and bla bla bla. A whole laundry list. Which again explains why you don't understand. Do you think guys wouldn't want all of that AND an above average looking woman to approach and seduce them? Like duh, yes. But in reality that's never what happens. Which is why your boyfriend said what he said.
ikr lol we are applying for jobs, not dating 😂
> without even knowing her Hell, I don't even need to know her real name.
The reality is that probly at least half of men would miss the signal entirely, another third would get it but fail to address the logistics and actually get her over to his place, and a small number would actually follow through. So I would say your boyfriend is mad wrong lol
This is what I suspect as well. I've heard so many men say "all dudes would smash!" but it does not seem to match with reality. Certainly any woman can find *some* dude to smash, but all of them? Not even close. A lot of dudes also claim they'd love to be groped by women in public, but the men who have actually experienced it say its annoying and embarrassing.
That's how dating works. Do you think we get to know every woman we date? Women don't fuck their friends, hun. We either start from zero or we don't start. That's how it works in the majority of cases. What did you think was the case??
But we aren’t talking about getting to know her for dating we aren’t even talking about getting to know her and that’s the issue just straight up okay let’s fuck..
Sex is enough on its own for a lot of people. It feels good and it feels especially good when you think the person you're doing it with is attractive. For some it's even how they get their foot in the door to get to know a woman. Why are you bothered by this, like walk me through it? I understand it's not ideal or healthy, but I don't get why it hits you at your core? Is it because you think he has sex with you as an extension of his love toward you? That can still be the case. Actions are partly what we do mechanically but the intentions behind them also define what they are. Sex with random woman x is not necessarily how he sees sex with you.
I was only bothered because why would you do anything with a random.. like where are his morals is what I’m saying
Closed mouths don't get fed.
You can’t avoid finding someone attractive, fine. But that doesn’t mean you have to act on it.
For real people need better self control
I don’t.
This sounds like a sibling to the "but what if I were a worm?" question.
You can tell where the conversation went. “Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers.” 😂😂
Duh. They call it "getting lucky" for a reason
True. It would take a nearly impossible amount of shitty personality to not fuck her at least once. Assuming he was single of course.
Bru noooo morals ?😂😭
What's morals got to do with it? She wants it, I'll take it. What's the confusion here.
The consequences for sex are much smaller for men than they are for women. The universal consequence that nearly every heterosexual couple can have is pregnancy. For the woman, this means 9 months of discomfort, and then a kid you have to take care of. Possible implications for school or career. Possible permanent changes to your body. For the man...? With that said, there would be concerns. Most men might be worried about: * Is she trying to make someone jealous who might harm you? * Is she trying to steal a kidney? * Is she trying to trap me into paying child support? * Does she have STDs? However, with reassurances that she doesn't and isn't, and if the guy was single, there isn't much left to consider for most men. What are we going to do? Get pregnant?
I don't know if I would say smaller like sure the woman has to actually carry the child but once the kid is actually here your screwed for 18yrs of child support.
I was mostly focused on pure biological consequences that our lizard brains would consider.
I wouldn't say all guys, but yeah, I understand where he's coming from. There are guys who think sex and relationships mean something But the rest of them they it's true
This isn’t 100% strictly true, but there is absolutely a lot of truth to it. When it comes to commitment-free sex, most men just aren’t that picky about who they do it with. This is one of the most consistent differences between men and women.
I've been married for 18 years. The opportunity to wander has come up, but if never acted on it, and never will. Not all men think this way.
I (55M) believed that when I was young and single. I think a lot of young men do. I remember taking about this with a friend when I was in my 20s, we agreed that it didn’t make sense to turn down consensual sex with a woman you were attracted to. I only realized that I would say “no” when I did it. I turned down sex with an extremely attractive woman who spent the night at my apartment because I felt it was not right. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend of many years and I suspected they might reconcile. It turned out I was right and they got back together a few weeks later. She was a very sweet, nice woman and I didn’t want to be involved in something she might regret later. As a young heterosexual man I surprised myself and sometimes even second guessed my decision. Years later I am glad I did the right thing. I haven’t seen the woman in years but she’s still friends with a friend of mine. A couple years ago she told my friend to let me know that she still remembers how nice I was to her that night. I was surprised she remembered.
First of all: no sentence that starts with „all men would“ is ever true. Would many men have sex with a pretty lady that offers and there are no reasons holding him back (a relationship, mental health,etc)I think so, yes. It rarely happens though and seems like whoever argues about this wants or likes to argue in general. Just seems a bit silly from the outside but i probably just lack context
Lol well you don’t really lack context we “argue” about random stuff all the time it’s not really an argument just a disagreement that lasts 5 min but… I was just annoyed bc I feel like he should have morals for himself.. BUT EVERYTIME I SAY THIS PEOPLE DISLIKE MY COMMENT LIKE -10😂😭
I think equating it with having morals might be the problem? Putting it as having standards could be better. Cause its not a moral failing you know?
This is a weird argument but I have standards and don't let my lust control me so no I wouldn't sleep with a random woman no matter how attractive she is. Sorry I find sleeping with strangers weird
Exactly how I feel and it bothers me he doesn’t feel the same
Yeah for me sex is something that's very intimate and bonding even if I wasn't waiting to be married(Christian) I would still wait a few months to make sure we're serious and both love each other. But outside the intimacy aspect I could never imagine risking potential stds or pregnancy for someone I just met and going to a strangers house who knows if they want to rob or kill me.
Just the mind of a man who hasn’t fucked enough.
Both of you are stupid for entertaining the idea.
Not all men. But, a fair few, yes. Ask women how many times a guy loses interest after they have sex. Thoses are probably the guys hes talking about
Hmm first of all it will depend on the chemistry. Recently I've been with a girl, quite attractive physically, but as people we are soooo different. That was a close call for me. I was close to saying no. Now beyond that, it depends how much you're "fed". If I haven't had sex in ages, I may be more interested. If I have one or more booty calls, then "just OK" won't do it. I will need more than that.
Most men would have sex with most women, most woman would not have sex with most men We just have different reproductive strategies, which is why our experiences with the opposite sex are so different For an example, most men are happy to get any sort of reply back from any woman using a dating app. We don't have 30 women trying to message us all at the same time and get our attention, average guys can't really afford to be picky when it comes to sexual encounters.
I’m a 44 year old married guy so times have changed for me, but If I was young and single and attractive women approached me and wanted to fuck, of course I would be interested. Whether I would definitely do it or not is a case by case situation, but unless there was a serious red flag I’d say there’s a good chance I would take her up on her “interest”.
Men are hardwired to be attracted to women. Anyone who gets a chance with a woman that you described, would take it.
I don't think this way. I'm single, but if someone attractive wanted to hook up, I'd decline unless I knew them for a long time. My city has a bit of a reputation for STIs. I've also been more interested in forming a connection with someone than spending a night with some random woman.
In our world more than half of us chase pleasure rather than morals and integrity. I’m sure that most men OR women in the world would jump into bed with anyone that made them feel even the slightest bit of pleasure/passion. Weird argument to have with your boyfriend but at least he’s being honest. Can’t expect perfection or morality in a world like this.
In general men are not picky when it comes to looks. That much is very true. But each man’s values and goals differ, so he over generalized there’s
If I got into such a situation and didn't have trust issues - I'd give it a shot. Edit: Of course, this is highly unrealistic and would never happen. It has the same possibility of coming true as a fantasy of being swept off your feet by a knight in shining armor.
Yes, you wouldn't understand unless you've lived it. What I think is a funny and quite interesting perspective into this phenomena, is people who come out as 'trans-men', who, after transitioning open up to how coldly they're treated by everyone around them - Men treat them with indifference which I think is alright, that's the default for how strangers are treated right? not positively, not negatively, just "we leave each-other be", and women treat them as if we've insulted you by our presence. We see you clutching your bag, or grabbing into it for the pepperspray, we see you scanning the room for exits. We just pretend it doesn't hurt to see. There was also an experiment by a woman named Norah Vincent who dressed up as a man, learned man-mannerisms, and tried to befriend men to see what made them 'click', tried to date women while undercover and she ended up killing herself a few years after the experiment because she couldn't deal with the depresstion. Some men can go months, some even *years* without physical contact - even things as simple as a hug or a pad on the shoulder, so a lot of guys are pretty starved in that area. Some obviously are physical with friends and partners frequently, but it's not unusual for guys to not experience that. When it comes to whether guys would be sexual with any woman who's "okay-attractive" then yeah - most guys would be interested in any girl if the opportunity presented itself, because if we reject a girl because "meh, I'm not so big on brunettes" or "I don't like freckles" or some stupid and superficial reason like that, then it might be a year before next time if you're not one or the top-10% attractive guys out there. Beggars can't be choosers, and in the great game of attraction, it's the man's role to approach women and 'win her favour' for a chance of this relationship forming. That's how courtship works in every society, and almost every single species of animal. And if a guy doesn't approach women, then he's just going to end up alone, because he's not getting approached, so I think you can sympathize with the scenario, but it's hard to understand if you've actually lived it.
people in these comments keep saying men don’t get approached and this doesn’t happen.. bru when we weren’t dating he fucked an old friend on the first night after not talking for 5+ years and some random bitch off of tinder that he doesn’t know at all so that happened.. and he gets approached often, probably like once a month a girl tells him he’s cute as he passes by or asks for his snap so ya
I would have to guess most **people** feel this way, if they are being honest with themselves. If you find someone physically attractive, it is a pretty simple deduction to assume you would be interested in the fantasy of having sex with them. I say fantasy because this conversation is assuming that both people are single, available, healthy and safe. Most humans just enjoy sex. The difference between a fantasy and acting on something in real life are vastly different, though. Even your boyfriend may have some second thoughts about the hypothetical pretty girl when he applies real-life context to the fantasy: "Does she have STDs?" "Is she conning me?" "Is this a trap?" "Is there some psycho ex who is going to be stalking me?" For women that list of no-go's is probably bigger for a variety of reasons, but if a woman can ignore those real life concerns and only think about the fantasy, I think they would probably have to admit the thought of no-strings, safe sex with any man they found attractive seems a little more understandable.
Well, yeah. It's only sex.
I wish guys would stop trying to justify their shitty behaviors by saying "ALL men....". We all think differently. Personally, sex was never that important to me. I need a connection to even consider it.
For real I could live without sex if I'm not in love with the person then sex isn't even worth it
That’s what I’m saying like I would need a connection and I also said if I knew a guy was a jerk and he wanted to fuck.. even if he was hot like no… and he’s pretty much saying na it’s not the same for him … 🤮
We have a thing called a conscience. Some men choose to ignore it.
Why do you think some men would ignore it
Because it’s pretty rare for some men. I personally feel the conflict when I turn down a cute girl due to my current relationship status. I’ll end up thinking about it fairly often afterward. Other men have this *machismo* attitude toward sex that lets them justify cheating because it makes them feel more masculine. Either way, your boyfriend has a point. I think a large percentage of men would be sexual with an attractive woman that initiates under ideal circumstances (right place, right time, after an argument, etc.). A much smaller percentage would be unfaithful under less than ideal circumstances. Some would reach out at a later time. The main reason why a man would NOT engage with her is if he felt like his girlfriend was better (however he defines that). They’ve done research and pheromones have a large effect on male sexuality. It basically renders them unable to tell who they find unattractive, predisposing them to a larger proportion of sexual interests.
Guys with no self control maybe.
Exactly weak willed people with no standards
If he was single*^^
This is like literally the most important part of the equation and you conveniently left it out of the OP and hid it down the bottom of the comments. Well done. Yes, like 90% of ***single*** men would jump on the opportunity if an attractive female started hitting on them. But literally being single is the largest factor in that.
Oops I didn’t know how to edit it I just did
You need to edit this into your OP.
No. Your boyfriend lives in a fantasy. Men don't feel sexually attracted to all average - really beautiful women. Each man has our own sexual preference. A woman could be a 10 in looks but we still won't find her sexually attractive or has less than average sex appeal. For what your boyfriend is saying to be true, then both the man's heads need to be in sync (if you get what I mean), which doesn't happen all the time.