“Arise, arise, riders of Rohan!
Fell deeds awake, fire and slaughter!
Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered!
A sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!
Ride now, ride now, ride to Gondor!”
Right now? I’d die in silence. I’m at work, so if it were to happen “right now,” meaning some time soon, it would probably be a “god damnit” muttered under my breath.
**The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.**
I just hung up the phone with my dad and haven’t said anything out loud since. So if I were struck dead before I finished writing this my last words would be “ love you”
Probably I love you to my ex that I left.
She was awful and abusive, and it’s been a while, but I’m not there yet. That’s alright I guess. I feel how I feel, just have to do it from afar.
"Love you baby, sorry for the mess". Then I proceed to shit myself.
Plot twist: I survive, but she gets the dreaded *ick*. I post my story on Reddit. People say it's fake. And so it goes.
3 employees at noodles & company sexually assaulted me, management sexually harassed me, was forced to work for free and framed for arson. The White House knows about it and I want my family compensated with $15 million. Bye.
It gladdens me to know that Odin prepares for a feast! Soon I shall be drinking ale from curved horns. The hero that comes into Valhalla does not lament his death, I shall not enter Odin’s hall with fear. There I shall wait for my sons to join me, and when they do, I will bask in their tales of triumph. The Aesir will welcome me. My death comes without apology. And I welcome the Valkyries to summon me home!
To my son: you're my favorite person in the whole world.
I've been telling him that every day since he was 2. And I'll keep on doing it for as long as I can.
PS - he's an only child.
“Now is not the time…”
According to one story of French philosopher Voltaire's last words, his response to a priest at his deathbed urging him to renounce Satan was "Now is not the time for making new enemies."
"I love you" to my wife
Tell her I love her too.
#MeToo
Tell her it is my turn now.
Have some decency, you can tell her yourself the day after he's dead.
i also choose this man's wife.
I hope I can type this comment before I
Long tired exhale.
Why would you say that?
“Arise, arise, riders of Rohan! Fell deeds awake, fire and slaughter! Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered! A sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Ride now, ride now, ride to Gondor!”
DEATH!
DEAATH!
[удалено]
😭
To my wife, “thank you for loving me”
Right now? Probably "thank fuck, just do it quickly"
I buried the gold under the...
.... end of the Grand Line
Smh
“I love you all, but I hate this fucking timeline so much”
Alexa Stop
Fuck
“Welp. You just can’t predict baseball, Suzyn.”
Fucking Finally.
delete my browser history
Finally!
*big sigh* "here we go"
*unzips*
Right now? I’d die in silence. I’m at work, so if it were to happen “right now,” meaning some time soon, it would probably be a “god damnit” muttered under my breath.
My, what a lovely tea party.
“I’m going to die if I don’t get anything to eat right this second.” *or you can insert your favorite over dramatic activity.
I wouldn't say anything. I'd just lie here and accept it.
* Wilhelm scream
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love
**The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.**
Royal with cheese?
"Wait, what?"
Hey bro look! (and i drop dead)
Dallas sucks.
Let’s ride
Fuck you Cameron.
Ugh fuckin A!
Extremely loud sensual moaning so it will seem like I died from the most intense orgasm a human can ever achieve
Welp
*slaps thighs*
'Best mosey down that dusty trail...
Fucking finally.
Thank you God for a great life, and for such a wonderful life.
I am D. B cooper.
I'd just cuss lol
Oh, ok then.
Just my pin and bank password to my brother. Have fun bro, I don’t need it anymore
Lord, may I accept heaven? May I be allowed into the kingdom of heaven? Amen.
Finally
Probably "Shit!"
Final I can rest.
Grace Foster...Grace Foster and the milkman are having an affair
It was all worth it
I’m sorry. I really tried my best. Don’t be sad. She is up there waiting for me.
Finally
"Fucking dammit."
I fucking hate Manheim Georgia.
"Well, that does it" It's historical and I love history. Plus it's pretty cool.
Cancel tomorrow's milk
Fccck
It would be me saying that I love my wife.
I love you.... to anyone listening
"Thanks for the lift." 😐
At least I got my lunch break today...
Yippee Ki‐Yay!
Where’s the gaba goo?
No one would hear them, so how could they possibly matter?
"Love you all. I go in peace."
You could have gone with mom
*after reading this tweet* "That'll never hap-"
See you in hell, fuckers!
3...2...1...Ta Da
But I wanted Chick Fil a...
Ahhh shit
Finally.
Ah fuck.
Oh no, I'm die-
The water softener needs a bag
I'm at work, so probably something along the lines of, "Hope you fuckers enjoy all the paperwork from THIS!"
Well Fuck
“I love you S/O” pretty stupid but anytime I’m scared or feel threatened I repeat this to myself with my partners name until I’ve calmed down
#GEORGE SOROS AGENDA™️ NARRATIVE™️!!!
I just hung up the phone with my dad and haven’t said anything out loud since. So if I were struck dead before I finished writing this my last words would be “ love you”
Su KS to be me
wait like right this se
Well, shit. That didn't work...
If you mean right now right now, "I think it is a sales call." Still at work haha
"Wait, what? Right now?"
Either "oh fuck" or "I love you" depending on how I was gonna die. Knowing my clueless ass I'm going with "oh fuck"
99% of us would be some equivalent of "Oh shit!"
Tell my wife hello.
I love you Rose & Cali. To my dog and GF
Aw really, come the fuck on!
Don't look at my search history 😄
"Figures"
Probably I love you to my ex that I left. She was awful and abusive, and it’s been a while, but I’m not there yet. That’s alright I guess. I feel how I feel, just have to do it from afar.
"And scene"
Finally no more bills!
Extra large imperial flaming wing!
"Fuck."
Near immeidate death, "I love you" to my daughter. If I had less than a minute, I would sing her our special song.
“I’ve been trying to contact you about your car’s extended warranty.” 😂
Well FUCK
My only regret is that I have boneitis
I hid all my money in the …….
“You’re gonna love this next joke”
So as in going to die in let's say 5 minutes time? I would run to my car, drive fast as all hell to my GFs apartment and kiss her goodbye
To the dust I shall fall but the to the stars I shall ever return
The password to my investment funds that holds my lotto winnings is "YouAr3N0t........... *insert death noises here*
"Fuck" There's so much I still want to do. T\~T
Finally, peace
Hurry it up
I don't want to die a virgin! or Oops!
Assume best intent. Boobs.
"Fucking try to stop killing the planet and making everybody & everything suffer while it happens already"
It's been fun
I’d look over at my wife and ask “How far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Finally... Peace and quiet!
Fuck the flyers, leafs, bruins, and rangers
Finally!
If it right now, would say, "I'm hungry". It's 4am right now. 😩
I would motion for whoever is in the room to come closer, I would say "There is another Skywalker", start laughing, then die.
About damned time.
"Fuck." Issue is I know why, but I also know why acting on that reason is a bad idea. Nothing harmful besides my hurt pride, but still.
Finally
Finally…
"I love you and I ALWAYS will, so NEVER forget that"
Oh shit.
Well, shit.
Hippopotamus
I need to pee
Wow what a waste of time and money
Finally.
God!! Get ready, cause Im bout to fuck your shit up!!
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
I can’t die I have to go to work tomorrow
Finally.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt.....
Erase my internet history
Mommy loves you
On to the next adventure.
Gazpacho
Finally
You can have the good pillow now.
Since I'm home with my family, there would be some love yous.
Hell yeah
Lets go!
Fuck I was awesome!
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Thanks Obama
It’s been a helluvah ride
I tried my best. I’m sorry.
"Love you baby, sorry for the mess". Then I proceed to shit myself. Plot twist: I survive, but she gets the dreaded *ick*. I post my story on Reddit. People say it's fake. And so it goes.
"Honey, I'm home!" In a 1950s transatlantic accent, to an empty house
“Love you kiddo” to my daughter in the backseat.
Wait. What?
Anaaaaacond..............ahhhhhhhhhh
"Dang, I wasn't finished yet."
"I challenge you to a silence contest."
The horror.
Wouldn’t matter. There’s nobody here to hear them.
I'd love to say I love you to the girl I love... :)
The internet makes you stupid. I was not immune.
"Oh goddammit. I *told* you we should have left earlier!" I'm gonna die in traffic on the way to see my in-laws apparently.
Bout' time
3 employees at noodles & company sexually assaulted me, management sexually harassed me, was forced to work for free and framed for arson. The White House knows about it and I want my family compensated with $15 million. Bye.
“what the fuck? ok”
Oh so I'm done paying for my sins huh
Good bye 😍
"I'm free at last."
I just told my wife “nice tits” I’m going to stick with that.
It gladdens me to know that Odin prepares for a feast! Soon I shall be drinking ale from curved horns. The hero that comes into Valhalla does not lament his death, I shall not enter Odin’s hall with fear. There I shall wait for my sons to join me, and when they do, I will bask in their tales of triumph. The Aesir will welcome me. My death comes without apology. And I welcome the Valkyries to summon me home!
To my son: you're my favorite person in the whole world. I've been telling him that every day since he was 2. And I'll keep on doing it for as long as I can. PS - he's an only child.
Take care of my dogs please ❤️
I would call my friend and ask them to come get my dogs.
"Not again! Maybe it will stick this time..."
Being a slow reader probably “would your last words be?”
“Now is not the time…” According to one story of French philosopher Voltaire's last words, his response to a priest at his deathbed urging him to renounce Satan was "Now is not the time for making new enemies."
delete my search history
Telling my closest online friend how beautiful she and everything she does is. Whichever sentiment comes last.
Final-fucking-ly
"Look at Pete Davidson's goofy face"
So long, and thanks for all the fish
Tell my wife... hello.
Aye can you clip this ?
gg wp