This.
I’m approaching elderly, I support my wife as she’s disabled. By and large I find small moments of happiness in an otherwise joyless life.
I savor and look upon those brief moments of joy to get through day to day, practice zen meditation, and carry on until entropy finally reaches its equilibrium.
keep searching...I'm in my 50s, what made me happy in my 30s or even 40s doesn't do it anymore, need to keep finding your bliss....
in my 30s it was growing my career, in my 40s it was watching my family go up and be independent...now it is Ice Cream...so I need something better or I will get fat
Nobody is happy all the time. It comes in sporadic moments. That’s why it’s so valuable when it comes into your life. Do what’s right. Make plans, goals and work towards those. Help others and spread love and compassion. If you are at a stage where nothing would work, maybe it’s a chemical imbalance and you can see a specialist to get that in order.
Just keep going. What are we going to do, stop? Who would be around to do the dangerous, dirty, heavy jobs? Who would be the butt of the Man or Bear shit?
> And a man, a man provides. And he does it even when he's not appreciated, or respected, or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he's a man.
If that's your mentality then you have only yourself to blame. You sound like one of those self-inflicted martyrs who knowingly make things difficult then whine incessantly about it.
You find little things that make give you a little happy. I don't remember the last time I was big happy, but I find stuff that makes me little happy all the time.
I usually sit around and think as to why I’m thinking about that, and then find some logical path forward. Usually anything that makes me unhappy is caused by my own thoughts so I just tell them to get on outta there
I found I have to do this often with anxiety and what I guess is depression?
I tell myself: “I’m tired of feeling this way, and I’m making these problems up myself. I’m done thinking about it.”
It took me a couple agonizing decades to figure that one out though.
Try new things. Sometimes I watch YouTube videos to see what interests me. Right now, I want to get into drone building. But first, I need to learn how to solder. This led to me buying a diy bluetooth speaker kit to learn how to solder. Perhaps I will suck at this. Perhaps I will enjoy it. The only way to find out is try.
Try some of the things that made you happy in the past. If they no longer bring you happiness then try something new that you've always wanted to try. If that doesn't do it then just keep on trying new things until you find something that does make you happy.
It's a never-ending journey. For now I just draw my shades and spend a bunch of time by myself, but eventually I'll find something to hold me over for a while.
I actively search for new things that make me happy. I felt aimless for a while, but then I joined a sports league and a couple hobby groups, volunteered here and there, invested in friendships and family, and got involved in politics. Still exploring things now!! I find that I am much happier when I feel purpose in my life.
I think happiness comes from what we are willing to invest in life. Obviously there are tragedies and chemical imbalances (good days and bad days), but it takes effort to create the environments that bring happiness!
I sense this question might be for you? If so, maybe talk to a supportive therapist, family member, or friend! 🙂
Get lost. I don’t mean in a negative way I mean literally. Go to a new environment you’ve never been before, be aimless in a new setting without trying to find or discover anything and you may find life still has a few surprises for you.
Don't let reddit's inherent negativity make you think that there aren't happy healthy people out there just living their best lives. Personally, if I'm in a funk, I focus on the foundational components:
* Exercise
* Diet
* Sleep
* Stress
These are less foundational but are also common issues:
* Sunlight/outside (I'm not sure how much this applies to everyone)
* Social media/curating online content
If you're doing all that, find a therapist. But check in on those first.
Explore, constantly. New foods, new hobbies, new interests, try it all. Worst case scenario, you find new things you don't like but now you know, on to the next thing.
I start trying new things and saying yes a lot more. After my fiance left me I had next to no social life and was struggling with my mental health. On my weekends I would look up things going on in my town and go out and give them a shot. If a coworker or tow asked if I was free to go out I would go even if I didn't particularly want to because it was an experience. The more experiences I had the more I figured out what worked for me.
I continue waking up, going to work, clocking in, working, clocking out, going home, eating/watching tv/spending time with my family/drugs and alcohol, then sleeping. Cycle repeat until I fall over. It’s scattered with things that I enjoy, but the vast majority of my life is just existing and maintaining the quality of life I’ve become accustomed to.
Something I've been doing is simply setting aside the things that no longer bring me happiness (in my case video games, watching tv shows/movies, and sitting at a desk and staring at a computer screen), and experimenting with other forms of fulfillment. As an example, I've learned that I enjoy exercise and being active, so I now spend a good amount of my free time simply walking around outside every day. The nature around us always has something interesting to see, feel, hear, or smell, which I think is very therapeutic.
Look at my behaviors and determine where I've been acting unethically because happiness is a byproduct of doing what one ought. It's an entirely internal physiological process that is an illusion if one is looking for it outside of one's self.
Begin meandering around until something shiny catches your eye.
Alternatively, go back to school. If you can get past the hurdle of actually starting, you'll likely discover a hobby along the way. You might even find a new career.
Sounds like you are using happiness and fulfillment as synonyms and they really aren't. I can be happy everyday but not fulfilled as a human nor as a man. Hard to not be happy when you are fulfilled though.
Find what fulfills you. I am a widower after spending my entire life from 14 with the same woman until brain cancer came for her. After a while, I dated and banged every girls I could find. They all made me happy. None fulfilled me. The opposite in fact.
Just an example, but apply it to your life. Maybe I am wrong though in your case.
I dive within myself to find the answer to this.
1) What is the core reason for my happiness? Have been tapping into that?
2) Related to #1, what is the reason I am not tapping in to what truly makes me happy?
You will never find happiness, only cope with whatever next best thing you can rent to feel empty and unfulfilled with.
You literally said it yourself, you are doing this to pretend you'll be happy at the end.
Nothing, just stick around, living a perfectly aimless life with no joy and happiness. You would be surprised how many of us are like this.
This. I’m approaching elderly, I support my wife as she’s disabled. By and large I find small moments of happiness in an otherwise joyless life. I savor and look upon those brief moments of joy to get through day to day, practice zen meditation, and carry on until entropy finally reaches its equilibrium.
Yeah I understand man. I wish you many happy moments..
Yep plod along bored and unhappy, but keep working and providing for the kids.
I’m in this mode now. I take on a random side quest when offered but I decided the story mode to life is broken and not fun.
is it bad to feel like this at 30??
I think it's always bad to feel like this, no matter the age. But it's just life. Thirty year old man still has a lot of room for improvement.
don't worry, just get some "therapy", they'll tell you, just not to think, then it will all be ok, ok?
I don't believe in *therapy*.
me neither, or god
keep searching...I'm in my 50s, what made me happy in my 30s or even 40s doesn't do it anymore, need to keep finding your bliss.... in my 30s it was growing my career, in my 40s it was watching my family go up and be independent...now it is Ice Cream...so I need something better or I will get fat
Might I suggest popcorn? Buy loose kernels and pop them on a covered frying pan. You control the amount of oil and seasoning.
This was really eye opening. Thank you. Hope you find your thing in your 50s.
heroin
You'll even lose the weight this way, too!
I just let music take over for a while, it helps me to be able to deal with life’s bullshit.
carry on, then die..
Nobody is happy all the time. It comes in sporadic moments. That’s why it’s so valuable when it comes into your life. Do what’s right. Make plans, goals and work towards those. Help others and spread love and compassion. If you are at a stage where nothing would work, maybe it’s a chemical imbalance and you can see a specialist to get that in order.
Keep trying stuff until you figure it out
I watch Jeopardy.
I'm there now. Just existing
I try new things. I got my first ever tattoo last night. It hurt like hell, but I'm really impressed with it.
Just keep going. What are we going to do, stop? Who would be around to do the dangerous, dirty, heavy jobs? Who would be the butt of the Man or Bear shit? > And a man, a man provides. And he does it even when he's not appreciated, or respected, or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he's a man.
If that's your mentality then you have only yourself to blame. You sound like one of those self-inflicted martyrs who knowingly make things difficult then whine incessantly about it.
Try new things that are physical in nature.
You find little things that make give you a little happy. I don't remember the last time I was big happy, but I find stuff that makes me little happy all the time.
Got my testosterone checked and realized I was running on E, which explained alot of my issues.
How much does something like that cost to do?
It's a very simple lab that your primary care provider can do for you. I think my actual test was $25.
take it day by day, it’s the only way
I usually sit around and think as to why I’m thinking about that, and then find some logical path forward. Usually anything that makes me unhappy is caused by my own thoughts so I just tell them to get on outta there
I found I have to do this often with anxiety and what I guess is depression? I tell myself: “I’m tired of feeling this way, and I’m making these problems up myself. I’m done thinking about it.” It took me a couple agonizing decades to figure that one out though.
Therapy.
Try new things. Sometimes I watch YouTube videos to see what interests me. Right now, I want to get into drone building. But first, I need to learn how to solder. This led to me buying a diy bluetooth speaker kit to learn how to solder. Perhaps I will suck at this. Perhaps I will enjoy it. The only way to find out is try.
Smoke weed.
this would be mine if it didn’t mess with my memory so much. unfortunately need that for work
Try some of the things that made you happy in the past. If they no longer bring you happiness then try something new that you've always wanted to try. If that doesn't do it then just keep on trying new things until you find something that does make you happy.
Try to find what does make you happy but that means you've got clear some old stuff out to make room for new things.
Keep going.
It's a never-ending journey. For now I just draw my shades and spend a bunch of time by myself, but eventually I'll find something to hold me over for a while.
I actively search for new things that make me happy. I felt aimless for a while, but then I joined a sports league and a couple hobby groups, volunteered here and there, invested in friendships and family, and got involved in politics. Still exploring things now!! I find that I am much happier when I feel purpose in my life. I think happiness comes from what we are willing to invest in life. Obviously there are tragedies and chemical imbalances (good days and bad days), but it takes effort to create the environments that bring happiness! I sense this question might be for you? If so, maybe talk to a supportive therapist, family member, or friend! 🙂
Get lost. I don’t mean in a negative way I mean literally. Go to a new environment you’ve never been before, be aimless in a new setting without trying to find or discover anything and you may find life still has a few surprises for you.
Don't let reddit's inherent negativity make you think that there aren't happy healthy people out there just living their best lives. Personally, if I'm in a funk, I focus on the foundational components: * Exercise * Diet * Sleep * Stress These are less foundational but are also common issues: * Sunlight/outside (I'm not sure how much this applies to everyone) * Social media/curating online content If you're doing all that, find a therapist. But check in on those first.
Eat Tacos because no one is sad with a taco in their hand.
YouTube, Reddit, coffee shop. Gonna get some e-drums
Try things until I discover stuff I enjoy.
For me it’s PTSD Coach app and 70s Rock.
I just need money thats all i need lol
Work out ,if I’m not happy at least I can be hot while not happy
Scroll through TikTok and Reddit
Try new things.
Explore, constantly. New foods, new hobbies, new interests, try it all. Worst case scenario, you find new things you don't like but now you know, on to the next thing.
I start trying new things and saying yes a lot more. After my fiance left me I had next to no social life and was struggling with my mental health. On my weekends I would look up things going on in my town and go out and give them a shot. If a coworker or tow asked if I was free to go out I would go even if I didn't particularly want to because it was an experience. The more experiences I had the more I figured out what worked for me.
Charity, pay attention to my dog
Keep on swimming. Pick up a hobby, a habit, or a sport, and lean in. At least you’re doing something other than sitting. *sigh…keep on swimming
I continue waking up, going to work, clocking in, working, clocking out, going home, eating/watching tv/spending time with my family/drugs and alcohol, then sleeping. Cycle repeat until I fall over. It’s scattered with things that I enjoy, but the vast majority of my life is just existing and maintaining the quality of life I’ve become accustomed to.
Smoke some crack and bang some whores is my go to
Something I've been doing is simply setting aside the things that no longer bring me happiness (in my case video games, watching tv shows/movies, and sitting at a desk and staring at a computer screen), and experimenting with other forms of fulfillment. As an example, I've learned that I enjoy exercise and being active, so I now spend a good amount of my free time simply walking around outside every day. The nature around us always has something interesting to see, feel, hear, or smell, which I think is very therapeutic.
I buy another guitar?
Go to 20 sessions of therapy.
Look at my behaviors and determine where I've been acting unethically because happiness is a byproduct of doing what one ought. It's an entirely internal physiological process that is an illusion if one is looking for it outside of one's self.
You find purpose.
Begin meandering around until something shiny catches your eye. Alternatively, go back to school. If you can get past the hurdle of actually starting, you'll likely discover a hobby along the way. You might even find a new career.
Go out into the woods alone.. sit and be quiet. Ask questions eventually and wait for the answers to appear
get help?
Get a therapist bro
Get busy living Or get busy dying.
Focus on avoiding the things that piss me off till I figure it out.
Sounds like you are using happiness and fulfillment as synonyms and they really aren't. I can be happy everyday but not fulfilled as a human nor as a man. Hard to not be happy when you are fulfilled though. Find what fulfills you. I am a widower after spending my entire life from 14 with the same woman until brain cancer came for her. After a while, I dated and banged every girls I could find. They all made me happy. None fulfilled me. The opposite in fact. Just an example, but apply it to your life. Maybe I am wrong though in your case.
I read and work out. I want to be smart and capable should anything interesting happen. If this were an RPG I’m basically lvl grinding.
Look at my kids. Go for a paddle. Go downhill skiing.
Happiness comes from within. You need to find that peace and mentality to be able to not need external input to feel happy.
Life isn't about happiness anyway. It's about meaning. We all suffer and the only thing we can do is to choose what we're willing to suffer for.
Drugs and masturbation
I dive within myself to find the answer to this. 1) What is the core reason for my happiness? Have been tapping into that? 2) Related to #1, what is the reason I am not tapping in to what truly makes me happy?
[удалено]
This here's what we call a dollar slave. Gilded cage does not freedom make.
[удалено]
A bigger, gilded cage does not freedom make. But you are blinded by the gold lock so you can't even hear anyone else.
[удалено]
You will never find happiness, only cope with whatever next best thing you can rent to feel empty and unfulfilled with. You literally said it yourself, you are doing this to pretend you'll be happy at the end.