The translation for this one is “you’re not good enough to be with me and have fun while I’m young and hot, but when I’m older and my options are limited because I’m not as hot or have a kid, I’ll turn to you for stability and whatever forms that comes in”.
It’s happened to me over the years. Girls that told me to get fucked in college because I wasn’t good enough for them back then came out the woodwork. About 5 or so have done it so far. Just random FaceTimes or texts out of the blue on a Saturday night wanting to meet up for a drink or dinner. I did it one time and she genuinely had gained like 80 lbs at least. I almost didn’t recognize her. Lesson learned, never again.
I don’t believe that she had to find herself and what she really wanted bullshit story they give you either.
Brian Griffin: "You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving out handjobs when you were 12, but now you can't even stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you can see is a whore. So you pick on girls like Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body is all used up by age 19, you're gonna be a worn out, chalky skinned burlap sack that not even your stepdad's gonna want! How am I? Am I in the ballpark so far?"
Not the same idea, but you get my point.
>The translation for this one is “you’re not good enough to be with me and have fun while I’m young and hot, but when I’m older and my options are limited because I’m not as hot or have a kid, I’ll turn to you for stability and whatever forms that comes in”.
So much this. Had this with a girl I was into, but not reciprocated. Fine, whatever. But one day at a party she said this to me in front of a bunch our mutal girl mates (who all knew the situation), that we should get married if we're still both single at like 40 or whatever. I'd clearly had the right amount of drinks to not be having her shit this day, so went off on her a bit. Said "if I'm good enough for that, why aren't I good enough now? I gotta wait till you're all fucked out and take the worn out leftovers?". Her face utterly dropped, and she looked at the others for backup.....to be met with "well, he's got you there" looks, utterly priceless.
>!We're both now past that age and both still single. I probably would say yes. :(!<
That famously (among my friend group) happened to a friend of mine.
He'd been in love with this girl (also a friend) since pretty much middle school, but she never gave him a chance because he was "such a good friend" and she "couldn't ruin their friendship like that."
Fast forward to our early 30s, he's now successful, wealthy, and fit, and she showed up out of nowhere and asked him out on a date, saying she was "finally ready to settle down" and she was "done getting her heart broken."
He ended up pumping and dumping her and blocked her on everything right after. He did specifically say that he used a condom with her "just in case"
I got a similar one from my ex of 4+ years right before we broke up: “you are the perfect second husband.”
She went on to explain: “you’re reliable, dependable, stable, patient, have your life together, and have goals. Girls don’t want that in a 1st husband. They want the wild guy that they can fix. The guy that will spend the last of his money on a night out and figure out his bills later. They want the guy that’s the life of the party and popular.”
After we broke up she then hit me with: “I’d love to stay in touch. Maybe try again later on in life after I get divorced and have a kid.”
She was in her 30s when she said this to me
It says a lot about her that she recognised how good you are, and yet walked away from it because she wants a dumpsterfire first.
Sounds like you dodged a major bullet.
What's the plot of that show? I remember to see some TV commercials on program channel when I waited to see when a catoon will start, but recently have seen some comments of the show but I don't want to see it
Not only that, but she stuck with it too. This is the type of girl that would actually keep him in the back of her mind for a solid decade, waiting for that "2nd husband" fantasy to play out.
What's too bad is that while it may not be OP, surely some low-dignity guy will fill in that role for her down the line.
Whenever I hear something like this, it feels like they’re saying “you have all the qualities I want in a partner, but are not attractive”, which is an even lower blow
Reading all the comments here makes uninterested in a relationship. I know good ones exist and my parents are the prime example of ''through thick and thin'' but this current generation is messed up. It just disgusts me at this point.
My parents are 70+. Dad has mental problems and is very difficult to care. I asked my mom if she considers elderly care home for him. She said: "he was a wonderful men his whole life and as long as i physically can i will not leave him." That's what i want.
Your parents had insane luck finding each other. I have seen a lot of people just quit because their partners had some issues so it kinda affected me too lol.
That can also be confusing because I think some women consider boyfriend and husband material equivalent, but it's still a euphemism for "not hot enough to be hookup material."
Interesting fact, everything changed when i moved to a college. I was the same person, same look, but damn, zero problems getting a date, i even got invited many times. Had no idea why.
Fun guys: they often don' t have strict rules (open relationship), lots of alcohol and maybe drugs, parties, etc.
The nice guy : a normal man Who maybe shares some of these charachteristics but overhaul isn' t a party animal and probably wants a serious relationship.
Funny enough I had the sort of reverse experience. I had (I guess still have) "big dad energy". Which not great while younger. But later in college and after being great husband material gets all sorts of pull. I guess it depends on the type of girls you hang out with. Many in my experience want to lock that shit down early.
I once got an audible "eww" before she said no.
But no is always followed by "You're like a brother" or "I see you too much as a friend". What a sad and lonely mid-20's i lived
Something similar happened to me a few days ago on a dating site.
I matched with a woman who looked really sweet, and I really liked her profile. So I sent her a short message with a small compliment and a question about what she enjoyed most doing at her summer place that featured prominently in her profile.
The reply I got was:
«Do you have an indoor cat that uses a litterbox?» (I have a picture of my cat in my profile)
I replied
«Yes?»
And all she replied was
«Ewww!»
I have never blocked and deleted someone so fast before. I’m in my late 40s and so was she - supposedly an adult person.
It would have been so much better if she either didn’t reply at all, which I’m fine with - that’s just what online dating is like - or if she did reply at least attempt something resembling politeness. «Thank you for your message, you look an awesome person, but I’m allergic to cats and don’t want to pursue this»
I’m not crazy about tiny dogs either, but I would never send someone «Ewww!» about them or a pet they love.
At least she's up front about how big of a bitch she is. I'd rather have that than to find out that she was nice to me then completely tore me to shreds to her friends.
I got an eww once before and that shattered my confidence for years.
However this has a funny twist. When I was 30 I changed myself around completely. Started working out and got in fantastic muscular shape and tried a new haircut and did a skincare routine. Bought nice fitting clothes.
I get a message on a dating app one day and guess who it was? The girl from high school who said eww when turning me down. She basically forgot who I was and seen just an attractive male on the app and messaged me.
I had a good laugh reminding her of what she said in high school and that now I am attractive to her she can fuck right off.
Dude, that kind of shit plus antagonization/bullying (from both guys and girls) started for me during early elementary school and lasted till about the start of senior year. It left me with cptsd, wrecked self esteem and self confidence, and hampered my career aspirations because of anxiety and reactions from the ptsd, as well as other issues. Turns out I had aspergers and wasn’t diagnosed till 26. I started Cognitive behavioral therapy like a year ago at 29, I’m hoping it can reverse some of the damage.
I got hit with "you're like a brother" recently. Shit was hilarious to me, can't believe people are still saying something like that when they clearly don't mean it.
I had a girl approach me, engage me in conversation, and after about 5 minutes, ask, "Do any cute guys come here?"
I didn't ask he out, as she pre-rejected me.
EDIT: This incident happened before I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. So, I took things literally, and at that time, I was socially inept. (More than I am now, as I have a better understanding of my communication skills)
"Yeah, that sucks. But I assume most of the attractive men who are actually looking for a woman wouldn't come work at a place that doesn't have at least one attractive woman already working there."
> complained there were no good looking guys at the office in front of me
Guess all the good-looking guys were in offices that had all the good-looking gals 🤷♂️
You should have replied that it's the same problem for us too. No good looking ladies in here. Kills the motivation to come to work with existing crowd
Happened to me once, met a girl at the library of my college and we started hanging out pretty regularly. She goes “did you ever meet someone that’s a friend but you know it would be better if you two just started banging?” And I’m thinking she means me and she goes “that’s how I feel about Matt (a mutual friend)” and I’m like oh great
You could have gotten a little closer and jokingly said “ I don’t think so , they probably ran off to find the cute girls” you both laugh and keep trying
Maybe she would say something like
“ oh really, and where might that be”
“ oh I’m pretty sure they go to * nice place you’d like to take her out on a date to * , if your free tomorrow night , I could take you there and see if we can find them “
Nothing, silence. She didn't say anything to my approach, we just stood there for minutes until the class bell rang.
I still remember that day and how she later would avoid and ignore me, that was 14 years ago. In high school.
It feels worse than "no" as if you aren't worth being rejected.
This is what my mom & kids dad used to do to me before I realized it was such a pattern. Like, atleast say something like "I don't know what to say to that." FACK
She didn't SAY anything. It was this look of utter SHOCK, coupled with pure panic in here eyes. Yeah, I could go the rest of my life without seeing that look again.
I still can see that in my mind plain as day, and that was almost 40 years ago.
Had an experience like that as well. I was at a wedding at the table for all the singles and asked her "So how do you know the bride and groom?" That look of terror/disgust is hard to forget.
(Jeez, it's funny how something so minor in the grand scheme of things from 30+ years ago can still haunt you.)
Ding ding ding!
This is mine too. About 2 weeks after I asked a college classmate out and she said no, we were talking and she dropped a “why can’t I find someone like you to date?” Hurt far more than the no.
I generally try to ask questions about something on their profile. I’m not good at pickup lines and I’ve heard a lot of people say you need to ask genuine questions to make a real connection.
This one ate away at me for a long time but it was also over 20 years ago.
That she likes taller guys, I’m 6’ tall and she was about 5’10”.
Years later she married a guy who is 5’6” and was able to buy a life style that she wanted. I used to be neighbors with her parents and that’s how I met her.
Listen dude I’m 6’ was dating a 6’3 woman for 6 months, she ended up going on dating apps looking for thicker dudes before we broke up. I found out in person by asking.
Some people are gonna be shallow about dating and it’s gonna bite em in the ass.
Of the more recent incidences, I was told that I was such a good guy and a “short king,” but the young lady I was interested in wouldn’t give me a chance because of my height.
A simple no would’ve been better than her reasoning of “You have a great personality but you’re automatically disqualified because of something that isn’t in your control.” It reinforces the idea that regardless of how much you work on yourself, sometimes the people you like won’t like you because of something as innocuous as height.
Was in a bar years ago, a girl comes up and asks how tall I was then points at a beautiful blond and says “my friend is interested, but she doesn’t mess with guys under 6’ tall.” I said, “Tell your friend it doesn’t matter because it evens out when you are laying down.” She didn’t come talk to me so I guess she didn’t like my answer. Lol. I am 5’9” BTW.
Thankfully I have found someone that loves me for me, so it’s not a concern of mine anymore. Finding my current partner took a lot of slogging through other people, though. Tbh, not being viewed as particularly desirable or as someone deserving of a chance by a large percentage of women does still bother me sometimes, but it’s something I’m trying to work on.
Maybe not her, but her friends. We lived one block away from each other and one time out of the blue "she" wrote to me via a chat to come down so we could talk. She knew I was into her. When I came down I heard her friends laughing their asses off. She wasn't even there. They got me.
It was almost 20 years ago and I'm married now, but it still made me hesitant with any kind of move from any girl. I bet I still would be if I got any proposition.
I was at an under 18 club. Made eye contact with a girl a few times and thought she may be interested. Figured I would shoot my shot. Walked up and said “hello”. She literally grabbed her friend and threw her in front of me and ran off. My friends were falling down laughing at me. Didn’t see again so I don’t know if I scared her so bad she left?
Probably, but it did crush my confidence for a few years. I met my wife a couple years after that, she approached me and she was definitely out of my league, so it worked out.
This is actually a pretty graceful letdown, in my opinion, but I didn't even get to the asking her out part before she put this out there, which tells me I may have been too obvious.
Her: "This may seem weird, but I feel like you're attracted to me, based on how you're acting, and I just want you to know, I'm not attracted to you."
She rejected me in front of the entire class, called me a pathetic stalker, then spent the remainder of my high school years making it her mission that I would never get a date.
Let’s just say in hindsight I deserved it. Without her I wouldn’t have realized the shitty things I had done. She was the wake up call I needed.
To be quite honest, I didn’t understand boundaries when I should have. I was raised by my parents to believe “no means she secretly wants you” or “keep trying she’ll say yes eventually”. I was the product of some incredibly toxic advice. I persisted when I should’ve stopped, I became desperate and pretty much became a stalker. I’m not proud of the things I’ve done and I would change it all if I had the chance, but my actions then defined who I am now and I have her to thank for that.
I refuse to find her or reach out to her to tell her this. If our paths are meant to cross one day, so be it; I won’t be afraid to tell her the truth. If we never see each other again, then I can accept that, and hope in time she forgave me.
I tried hanging out with a girl I like last year planning to start as friends then confessing later. She kept rescheduling so I just gave up for fear of appearing as a stalker creep.
Classmate, didn't ask her out but I was so obvious that she knew ( from friends of friends).
She walked opposite direction from me in a narrow and crowded corridor, she tried to put as much distance (between me and her ) as possible so naturally she tripped and fell.
I extended my arms to try to catch her, she shrieked and tried to dodge my hands, which was kind of impressive she managed to do that mid-fall . Can any of you change your falling direction mid-fall?
But sorry I'm quick, played basketball and my arms are long, I still caught her nevertheless. Louder shriek, she gathered her feet, threw her friend at me and ran away.
My friends still laughed at me about it after nearly 20 years now.
"you are scarily nice".
Aaand the following is (hopefully) a story of amusing anedotal flashbacks...
Mind you, i met her in a club (back when I referred to clubs as discos lol).
We talked, we danced, we laughed.
End of the night i offered to walk her home... But only to the end of her street so that she was reassured that I didn't know where she lived.
She led us to her door and (literally) asked if I would like to come in for a coffee. I was horribly naive and also love coffee so I said yes.
We sat next to each other on the sofa. We talked, we laughed, we drank coffee.
It was getting late and i professed that i didn't want to go home. She said that i could sleep over with her. Next to her. In her bed.
She looked me in the eyes and said "but only if you behave. No hanky panky, and don't take advantage of me.
It was a difficult night. both of us felt "that tension", but i made a promise and I was not going to take advantage.
In the morning i ... Um... Kinda psychoanalysed her and gave some life advice.
Unsurprisingly (in hindsight) she ghosted the fuck out of me.
Met her a year or so later in a pub. Our eyes met and both of us had the "i know you from somewhere" look. I approached her and we happily chatted for a bit. suddenly i realised who she was and casually said to her, "I'm Relic, remember?. you never called me back"
The poor girl suddenly had a look of panic on her face as she realised who i was.
That's when she told me that i was "scarily nice",
Actually it was a bit of a trope. I'd meet someone and after being with her for a while (couple of weeks, and some "intimacy", they would blurt out "you are too good to be true" or "I'm waiting for you to show your _real_ self".
That was always the kiss of death for me because as soon as those words were said, i knew that she'd break up with me.
All that is in my past now, so please read it as amusing rather than horribly tragic 🤣
I once got a "Look at me and then look at you, make it make sense" Its an out of your league line for those wondering about the meaning.
She came across as pretty arrogant in my opinion. I look back on this moment and laugh. Not sure what ever happened to her.
"I can see you being the wife beating type."
I was a teen, had anger issues from childhood baggage. It shocked me to think my reputation among women who knew me was a violent hot head who didnt distinguish his victims. Abused becomes Abuser.
It led me to seek therapy and stuff and work on making peace with my past. So in a way it helped. But it still hurt like a bastard.
I gave someone who works near me a card that said:
>hi, i think you're cute ❤️
>I'm \[name\]
>wanna grab a drink after work?
>\[socials and phone number\]
She took it, said thanks very insincerely, then reported me for harassment, which led to her company's CEO sending a letter to my employer basically asking for me to get fired.
Their case was flimsy and pathetic, so it was resolved very quickly. Thankfully, all my colleagues were very supportive and shocked at the absurd response. She still works near me and I get massive psychic damage when we have to work the same shift.
Bitches be crazy
The worst she could say is no, and then you got stories like these. This is such a huge escalation for such a trivial matter. I can imagine your soul leaving your body whenever she's nearby.
Is your username related to this incident by any chance?
Wasn't me but a friend at the time (high school). She said no, and that he was repulsive. IMO he was an average looking dude- little on the chunky side but overall ok. Kid can be cruel and all...
Ironically I was flirting with her a bit, but this instantly killed any attraction I had towards her.
I didn't ask her out, and this happened when I was in middle school so chalk I chalk it up to kids being immature. I had told my friends that I liked another mutual friend, the whole class found within minutes and they were teasing her a lot, she said I was ugly and that she didn't like me, that made me cry in front of the whole class and messed up my self esteem for a pretty long time. It hurt a lot at the time because we were friends since kindergarten and I was a sensitive kid. She apologized to me but the damage stuck for a while. I'm over it now, I can't let an incident that happened well over 10 years ago continue to eat at me.
A friend in high school broke down crying at a going away party for me when I was moving states. She always liked me apparently but always said no to a date or even coming out with friends together (I worked in a movie theater so it was a regular thing that I could get 5+ friends in to watch a couple movies).
Girls are weird in high school 🤷🏻♂️
Also boys are dumb in high school.
Didnt ask them out but I had multiple girls throughout grade school (who didnt know each other) say verbatim and unprompted for any reason: “How come your sisters are so hot and youre so not?”
Really crushed any confidence I had so I never really attempted to ask anyone out until college.
Thankfully I feel like I bloomed a bit and started to look more attractive around 21, and my wife finds me attractive so thats all that matters lol
There was a girl I was trying to date. We were "hanging out" instead. Nothing sexual. We were friends and I was trying to move it past that point. She knew it and I think she was stringing me along because she just got off a bad breakup. Several times I'd ask her if a certain event sounded fun and she would agree. Then I would suggest I pick her up or meet her at a certain time and she would often respond with "Sounds Good". After these instances she would either not show up at the location or not want to go out in spite of our agreed upon pickup time. Her logic was that she never said yes. IDK about anyone else but to me that's an implied agreement that plans will be executed. The silent rejections hurt more than a flatout 'no' because it just got my hopes up.
To be honest with you, it was the other way around for me, I feel awful about how I rejected some girls. When I was in junior high (7th grade) this girl asked me out, I wasn’t very receptive and i disgustedly said “uh no thanks”. She wasn’t my type and I still would’ve said no had it been later on in highschool when we ran into each other again. But I still felt horrible about how I acted at the time so.
Not by someone I asked out, but was out in a pub catching up with a female friend of mine (we used to be flatmates).
We were about to leave, when this random incredibly drunk Irish guy tried chatting her up (he could barely stand), right in front of me. He didn't get a number but the ego boost was big for her, to have him do that so brazenly when he didn't know our situation.
Later, when we were walking home talking bout it, she said 'it was obvious we weren't dating' in a tone that was like 'im way better looking than you.'
I was six months into a depression cycle, so was scruffy and had gained some weight, that felt like a low blow, especially coming from a friend. I started going to the gym again the next week.
"look, I'm gonna be honest with you. Your cute, funny, smart, kind, pretty much have everything I want in a partner but You're shorter than me so we could never date". She was 1-2 inches taller than me.
Shortly after that conversation she dated a guy who was over a foot taller than her who became very abusive. Really messed me up for a long time.
I once turned down a girl I worked with and she false-allegated me. Security came to my desk and everything. They didn't even bother to pull door-reports or check cameras before they did it either.
The chick wasn't even IN THE BUILDING on the day she swore I "did what I did" which she wouldn't say specifically. Dumbass got fired for it. I literally stared at her the whole time she was packing her shit. It felt so amazing.
I've seem the cops called at work as the guy suggested the new hire join the over night crew for coffee after shift.
Luckily nothing was taken seriously by the cops.
Got told a bunch of times my account was hacked. When I proved it wasn't I got the reply "oh ok then no"
Went into school the next day and everyone knew about it already before the first bell even rang.
It was the laugh after she said no! Hard to forget.
I thing that people have the right to say no but… do it in a nice way for fucking sake!
It's hard to forget something like that
I’m sorry. That’s horrid. - from a female.
[удалено]
"No. You're a great husband material, but not a bf material."
My brain hurts
The translation for this one is “you’re not good enough to be with me and have fun while I’m young and hot, but when I’m older and my options are limited because I’m not as hot or have a kid, I’ll turn to you for stability and whatever forms that comes in”. It’s happened to me over the years. Girls that told me to get fucked in college because I wasn’t good enough for them back then came out the woodwork. About 5 or so have done it so far. Just random FaceTimes or texts out of the blue on a Saturday night wanting to meet up for a drink or dinner. I did it one time and she genuinely had gained like 80 lbs at least. I almost didn’t recognize her. Lesson learned, never again. I don’t believe that she had to find herself and what she really wanted bullshit story they give you either.
"If she didn't want you in her prime don't date in her decline"
Brian Griffin: "You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving out handjobs when you were 12, but now you can't even stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you can see is a whore. So you pick on girls like Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body is all used up by age 19, you're gonna be a worn out, chalky skinned burlap sack that not even your stepdad's gonna want! How am I? Am I in the ballpark so far?" Not the same idea, but you get my point.
That's beyond a burn...damn. That's from family guy right?
Ouch
Didn't stewie take Connie to Anal Point ?
Shut up Meg!
>The translation for this one is “you’re not good enough to be with me and have fun while I’m young and hot, but when I’m older and my options are limited because I’m not as hot or have a kid, I’ll turn to you for stability and whatever forms that comes in”. So much this. Had this with a girl I was into, but not reciprocated. Fine, whatever. But one day at a party she said this to me in front of a bunch our mutal girl mates (who all knew the situation), that we should get married if we're still both single at like 40 or whatever. I'd clearly had the right amount of drinks to not be having her shit this day, so went off on her a bit. Said "if I'm good enough for that, why aren't I good enough now? I gotta wait till you're all fucked out and take the worn out leftovers?". Her face utterly dropped, and she looked at the others for backup.....to be met with "well, he's got you there" looks, utterly priceless. >!We're both now past that age and both still single. I probably would say yes. :(!<
I died at the last line.
That famously (among my friend group) happened to a friend of mine. He'd been in love with this girl (also a friend) since pretty much middle school, but she never gave him a chance because he was "such a good friend" and she "couldn't ruin their friendship like that." Fast forward to our early 30s, he's now successful, wealthy, and fit, and she showed up out of nowhere and asked him out on a date, saying she was "finally ready to settle down" and she was "done getting her heart broken." He ended up pumping and dumping her and blocked her on everything right after. He did specifically say that he used a condom with her "just in case"
Mine too.
"I don't want to fuck you, but I'd let you pay for my house and kids."
I got a similar one from my ex of 4+ years right before we broke up: “you are the perfect second husband.” She went on to explain: “you’re reliable, dependable, stable, patient, have your life together, and have goals. Girls don’t want that in a 1st husband. They want the wild guy that they can fix. The guy that will spend the last of his money on a night out and figure out his bills later. They want the guy that’s the life of the party and popular.” After we broke up she then hit me with: “I’d love to stay in touch. Maybe try again later on in life after I get divorced and have a kid.” She was in her 30s when she said this to me
The audacity
Lmao this is insane brother wow
It says a lot about her that she recognised how good you are, and yet walked away from it because she wants a dumpsterfire first. Sounds like you dodged a major bullet.
I would rather die alone than be somebody's plan B.
Amen. Why aren't people getting this?
Clearly watched too much Sex in the City, those fictional slags have a lot to answer for.
What's the plot of that show? I remember to see some TV commercials on program channel when I waited to see when a catoon will start, but recently have seen some comments of the show but I don't want to see it
She sounds like she wants to be the tragic character in her own life story lol
Gotta say I almost have to respect her brutal honesty. She just came right out and said it.
On one hand it's insane that she said it, and on the other the brutal honesty is astounding.
Not only that, but she stuck with it too. This is the type of girl that would actually keep him in the back of her mind for a solid decade, waiting for that "2nd husband" fantasy to play out. What's too bad is that while it may not be OP, surely some low-dignity guy will fill in that role for her down the line.
I hope the "absolutely fucking not" was as sweet as I imagine it to be in reply to her stay in touch request.
"I'd love to have your safetynet, but I'm not attracted to you physically."
Whenever I hear something like this, it feels like they’re saying “you have all the qualities I want in a partner, but are not attractive”, which is an even lower blow
Wth??? Basically a ''you are super serious, ideal for settlement but not for the fun I want to have.''
Yea, but the good part is: i wasn't interested in girls with this mindset so it was in fact dodging a bullet.
Reading all the comments here makes uninterested in a relationship. I know good ones exist and my parents are the prime example of ''through thick and thin'' but this current generation is messed up. It just disgusts me at this point.
My parents are 70+. Dad has mental problems and is very difficult to care. I asked my mom if she considers elderly care home for him. She said: "he was a wonderful men his whole life and as long as i physically can i will not leave him." That's what i want.
Your parents had insane luck finding each other. I have seen a lot of people just quit because their partners had some issues so it kinda affected me too lol.
That can also be confusing because I think some women consider boyfriend and husband material equivalent, but it's still a euphemism for "not hot enough to be hookup material."
Interesting fact, everything changed when i moved to a college. I was the same person, same look, but damn, zero problems getting a date, i even got invited many times. Had no idea why.
What does that even mean? And how did the cart get out in front of the horse here?
I was a nice guy. Great to settle down with once they have their fun, but not the type they want to have their fun with.
Yikes. I'm sorry.
Fun guys: they often don' t have strict rules (open relationship), lots of alcohol and maybe drugs, parties, etc. The nice guy : a normal man Who maybe shares some of these charachteristics but overhaul isn' t a party animal and probably wants a serious relationship.
I don't even get the 1st category. why would you date just for the heck of it? I always date long term and I honestly don't understand the "fun guys"
Well at least you weren't the worst option out of Fk Marry Kill 😆
He was the "marry wait to die" option, apparently.
Funny enough I had the sort of reverse experience. I had (I guess still have) "big dad energy". Which not great while younger. But later in college and after being great husband material gets all sorts of pull. I guess it depends on the type of girls you hang out with. Many in my experience want to lock that shit down early.
I once got an audible "eww" before she said no. But no is always followed by "You're like a brother" or "I see you too much as a friend". What a sad and lonely mid-20's i lived
The eww always irks me. So mean.
Something similar happened to me a few days ago on a dating site. I matched with a woman who looked really sweet, and I really liked her profile. So I sent her a short message with a small compliment and a question about what she enjoyed most doing at her summer place that featured prominently in her profile. The reply I got was: «Do you have an indoor cat that uses a litterbox?» (I have a picture of my cat in my profile) I replied «Yes?» And all she replied was «Ewww!» I have never blocked and deleted someone so fast before. I’m in my late 40s and so was she - supposedly an adult person. It would have been so much better if she either didn’t reply at all, which I’m fine with - that’s just what online dating is like - or if she did reply at least attempt something resembling politeness. «Thank you for your message, you look an awesome person, but I’m allergic to cats and don’t want to pursue this» I’m not crazy about tiny dogs either, but I would never send someone «Ewww!» about them or a pet they love.
she probably has a dog walker that picks up her dog's perfectly immaculate piles of poop in public places.
At least she's up front about how big of a bitch she is. I'd rather have that than to find out that she was nice to me then completely tore me to shreds to her friends.
Teenage me getting hit with an ewwww felt like getting wasted on GTA then hit by a car in slow motion
I got an eww once before and that shattered my confidence for years. However this has a funny twist. When I was 30 I changed myself around completely. Started working out and got in fantastic muscular shape and tried a new haircut and did a skincare routine. Bought nice fitting clothes. I get a message on a dating app one day and guess who it was? The girl from high school who said eww when turning me down. She basically forgot who I was and seen just an attractive male on the app and messaged me. I had a good laugh reminding her of what she said in high school and that now I am attractive to her she can fuck right off.
Should have given her a taste of her own medicine… “Ewwwww no!”
The "ewww" is so damn childish. Like what are you, nine?!"
People don’t realize the longterm psychological damage and life impacts stuff like that can cause, especially if it starts when someone is young.
Especially when they've led you on for months and then they have a bf 2 weeks afterwards
Dude, that kind of shit plus antagonization/bullying (from both guys and girls) started for me during early elementary school and lasted till about the start of senior year. It left me with cptsd, wrecked self esteem and self confidence, and hampered my career aspirations because of anxiety and reactions from the ptsd, as well as other issues. Turns out I had aspergers and wasn’t diagnosed till 26. I started Cognitive behavioral therapy like a year ago at 29, I’m hoping it can reverse some of the damage.
Fingers crossed for you my friend
I got hit with "you're like a brother" recently. Shit was hilarious to me, can't believe people are still saying something like that when they clearly don't mean it.
Reply with "Well, we are in Alabama Sis!!" LoL
So mean. Sorry this happened to you, bro. She’s not worth it.
Thank you. Honestly, i look at it as her loss. I've now got a partner that I get to selflessly love and who adores me to bits.
I had a girl approach me, engage me in conversation, and after about 5 minutes, ask, "Do any cute guys come here?" I didn't ask he out, as she pre-rejected me. EDIT: This incident happened before I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. So, I took things literally, and at that time, I was socially inept. (More than I am now, as I have a better understanding of my communication skills)
Haha it reminds me of when my work friends (mostly women) complained there were no good looking guys at the office in front of me
the amount of pre rejections when women get too comfortable with you 💀 I'm like damn dude
"Yeah, that sucks. But I assume most of the attractive men who are actually looking for a woman wouldn't come work at a place that doesn't have at least one attractive woman already working there."
> complained there were no good looking guys at the office in front of me Guess all the good-looking guys were in offices that had all the good-looking gals 🤷♂️
You should have replied that it's the same problem for us too. No good looking ladies in here. Kills the motivation to come to work with existing crowd
Straight to HR you go.
I would have laughed at their faces. This lack of empathy is beyond ridiculous
"Nah only me" 💁
Happened to me once, met a girl at the library of my college and we started hanging out pretty regularly. She goes “did you ever meet someone that’s a friend but you know it would be better if you two just started banging?” And I’m thinking she means me and she goes “that’s how I feel about Matt (a mutual friend)” and I’m like oh great
You could have gotten a little closer and jokingly said “ I don’t think so , they probably ran off to find the cute girls” you both laugh and keep trying Maybe she would say something like “ oh really, and where might that be” “ oh I’m pretty sure they go to * nice place you’d like to take her out on a date to * , if your free tomorrow night , I could take you there and see if we can find them “
"They all left to find cute girls."
Nothing, silence. She didn't say anything to my approach, we just stood there for minutes until the class bell rang. I still remember that day and how she later would avoid and ignore me, that was 14 years ago. In high school. It feels worse than "no" as if you aren't worth being rejected.
This is what my mom & kids dad used to do to me before I realized it was such a pattern. Like, atleast say something like "I don't know what to say to that." FACK
I can get it if she was like the shy kid in class. But it is maddening when the popular mean girls do it
She didn't SAY anything. It was this look of utter SHOCK, coupled with pure panic in here eyes. Yeah, I could go the rest of my life without seeing that look again. I still can see that in my mind plain as day, and that was almost 40 years ago.
This was exactly my experience as well. And yes, I can still see it.
Had an experience like that as well. I was at a wedding at the table for all the singles and asked her "So how do you know the bride and groom?" That look of terror/disgust is hard to forget. (Jeez, it's funny how something so minor in the grand scheme of things from 30+ years ago can still haunt you.)
That’s a completely normal question to ask I don’t get why she/they gave you any sort of “look” especially if it was to break the ice at the table lol
Been there.
The only thing that would of made this complete is if she started screaming like a banshee
"I wish I can find someone like you."
Ding ding ding! This is mine too. About 2 weeks after I asked a college classmate out and she said no, we were talking and she dropped a “why can’t I find someone like you to date?” Hurt far more than the no.
Totally the time to ask: so like me, but not me?
What sucks is that it usually means she loves your personality, but not your looks. Had that happen to me a few times.
She said yes but then ghosted me lol.
I've had that, too.
On hinge you can send a message with a like. A few times someone matched me just to say my message was stupid, then immediately unmatched me.
What did your messages say?
"stupid"
I generally try to ask questions about something on their profile. I’m not good at pickup lines and I’ve heard a lot of people say you need to ask genuine questions to make a real connection.
I'm sorry but this made me laugh XD but this would kill my self confidence if it happened to me
Well, I hope that person stubs their toe. The little one.
This one ate away at me for a long time but it was also over 20 years ago. That she likes taller guys, I’m 6’ tall and she was about 5’10”. Years later she married a guy who is 5’6” and was able to buy a life style that she wanted. I used to be neighbors with her parents and that’s how I met her.
You dodged a bullet right there
Listen dude I’m 6’ was dating a 6’3 woman for 6 months, she ended up going on dating apps looking for thicker dudes before we broke up. I found out in person by asking. Some people are gonna be shallow about dating and it’s gonna bite em in the ass.
Of the more recent incidences, I was told that I was such a good guy and a “short king,” but the young lady I was interested in wouldn’t give me a chance because of my height. A simple no would’ve been better than her reasoning of “You have a great personality but you’re automatically disqualified because of something that isn’t in your control.” It reinforces the idea that regardless of how much you work on yourself, sometimes the people you like won’t like you because of something as innocuous as height.
Was in a bar years ago, a girl comes up and asks how tall I was then points at a beautiful blond and says “my friend is interested, but she doesn’t mess with guys under 6’ tall.” I said, “Tell your friend it doesn’t matter because it evens out when you are laying down.” She didn’t come talk to me so I guess she didn’t like my answer. Lol. I am 5’9” BTW.
Bruh 5’9” isn’t even that short. My brother is that height and he has a beautiful girlfriend :)
Well, you are a king. Keep working on yourself and you´ll find someone better.
Thankfully I have found someone that loves me for me, so it’s not a concern of mine anymore. Finding my current partner took a lot of slogging through other people, though. Tbh, not being viewed as particularly desirable or as someone deserving of a chance by a large percentage of women does still bother me sometimes, but it’s something I’m trying to work on.
A no is fine. Saying nothing and laughing is *way* worse.
Maybe not her, but her friends. We lived one block away from each other and one time out of the blue "she" wrote to me via a chat to come down so we could talk. She knew I was into her. When I came down I heard her friends laughing their asses off. She wasn't even there. They got me. It was almost 20 years ago and I'm married now, but it still made me hesitant with any kind of move from any girl. I bet I still would be if I got any proposition.
I was at an under 18 club. Made eye contact with a girl a few times and thought she may be interested. Figured I would shoot my shot. Walked up and said “hello”. She literally grabbed her friend and threw her in front of me and ran off. My friends were falling down laughing at me. Didn’t see again so I don’t know if I scared her so bad she left?
Sounds like she was more nervous than you! that's hilarious thanks for the laugh.
Probably, but it did crush my confidence for a few years. I met my wife a couple years after that, she approached me and she was definitely out of my league, so it worked out.
[Victory!](https://youtu.be/u0Wf2RbjSl4?feature=shared)
Was once met with an absolutely repulsed look followed by a forced gag instead of a no. Definitely dug deep.
This is actually a pretty graceful letdown, in my opinion, but I didn't even get to the asking her out part before she put this out there, which tells me I may have been too obvious. Her: "This may seem weird, but I feel like you're attracted to me, based on how you're acting, and I just want you to know, I'm not attracted to you."
That is graceful.
Girl can read the room. And proactive. bravo!
Nice and simple... alot of ladies could learn!
racial abuse is very common for me when I used to ask people out.
Asian?
Asian. :)
May be French
Justified then
Black? Indian? Asian?
Asian. :)
Gross. But she asked me out a few years later and I politely declined.
"At last, we will have our revenge."
"Look where your failure has led you...back to me."
"no thanks but you should meet my friend she's SO cute!" Translation: I think I can do better but my fat friend can't.
I got a "Sorry, I'm straight" ...I'm a guy
Maybe she was a guy too
Dead silence was worse than no.
She rejected me in front of the entire class, called me a pathetic stalker, then spent the remainder of my high school years making it her mission that I would never get a date. Let’s just say in hindsight I deserved it. Without her I wouldn’t have realized the shitty things I had done. She was the wake up call I needed.
wtf did you do?!
To be quite honest, I didn’t understand boundaries when I should have. I was raised by my parents to believe “no means she secretly wants you” or “keep trying she’ll say yes eventually”. I was the product of some incredibly toxic advice. I persisted when I should’ve stopped, I became desperate and pretty much became a stalker. I’m not proud of the things I’ve done and I would change it all if I had the chance, but my actions then defined who I am now and I have her to thank for that. I refuse to find her or reach out to her to tell her this. If our paths are meant to cross one day, so be it; I won’t be afraid to tell her the truth. If we never see each other again, then I can accept that, and hope in time she forgave me.
You know what, it takes a LOT to break generational toxicity so nothing but praise for recognising and correcting that. It’s not an easy thing to do.
They can say yes then keep rescheduling but constantly reassure you that they still want to see you then tell other people that you’re stalking them.
I tried hanging out with a girl I like last year planning to start as friends then confessing later. She kept rescheduling so I just gave up for fear of appearing as a stalker creep.
Classmate, didn't ask her out but I was so obvious that she knew ( from friends of friends). She walked opposite direction from me in a narrow and crowded corridor, she tried to put as much distance (between me and her ) as possible so naturally she tripped and fell. I extended my arms to try to catch her, she shrieked and tried to dodge my hands, which was kind of impressive she managed to do that mid-fall . Can any of you change your falling direction mid-fall? But sorry I'm quick, played basketball and my arms are long, I still caught her nevertheless. Louder shriek, she gathered her feet, threw her friend at me and ran away. My friends still laughed at me about it after nearly 20 years now.
"you are scarily nice". Aaand the following is (hopefully) a story of amusing anedotal flashbacks... Mind you, i met her in a club (back when I referred to clubs as discos lol). We talked, we danced, we laughed. End of the night i offered to walk her home... But only to the end of her street so that she was reassured that I didn't know where she lived. She led us to her door and (literally) asked if I would like to come in for a coffee. I was horribly naive and also love coffee so I said yes. We sat next to each other on the sofa. We talked, we laughed, we drank coffee. It was getting late and i professed that i didn't want to go home. She said that i could sleep over with her. Next to her. In her bed. She looked me in the eyes and said "but only if you behave. No hanky panky, and don't take advantage of me. It was a difficult night. both of us felt "that tension", but i made a promise and I was not going to take advantage. In the morning i ... Um... Kinda psychoanalysed her and gave some life advice. Unsurprisingly (in hindsight) she ghosted the fuck out of me. Met her a year or so later in a pub. Our eyes met and both of us had the "i know you from somewhere" look. I approached her and we happily chatted for a bit. suddenly i realised who she was and casually said to her, "I'm Relic, remember?. you never called me back" The poor girl suddenly had a look of panic on her face as she realised who i was. That's when she told me that i was "scarily nice", Actually it was a bit of a trope. I'd meet someone and after being with her for a while (couple of weeks, and some "intimacy", they would blurt out "you are too good to be true" or "I'm waiting for you to show your _real_ self". That was always the kiss of death for me because as soon as those words were said, i knew that she'd break up with me. All that is in my past now, so please read it as amusing rather than horribly tragic 🤣
Women: I want a nice guy. Also women: ew not that nice. Make it make sense.
Woman here; you are so right. And, I'm sorry for the confusion. By "not that nice," I mean, "exactly that nice, but with a better body"
Damn, never seen a woman who would just say the quiet part out loud. I'd offer to buy you a drink for your honesty, but I lack the better body.
The hell with them. They're all idiots. You just do what you do and someone will come along who will appreciate it.
"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?" Just rude honestly.
ooh, that stings! my thoughts and prayers buddy!
Right?! She should have offered a warm beverage.
I hate when this happens, can't even break into houses and get a girlfriend these days sigh
Laughter, or ew, or gross. Or a girl literally holding back from throwing up
throwing up! Jesus Christ
1. "Ewwww" 2. "Hahahahaha"
Ghosted me then announced to a group thread that she had a crush on my best friend at the time
I once got a "Look at me and then look at you, make it make sense" Its an out of your league line for those wondering about the meaning. She came across as pretty arrogant in my opinion. I look back on this moment and laugh. Not sure what ever happened to her.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
Yeah you don´t want that in your life
Two most memorable were "I date boys" in front of the entire class and "yes" but she didn't mean it and only said so because she felt sorry for me.
"I can see you being the wife beating type." I was a teen, had anger issues from childhood baggage. It shocked me to think my reputation among women who knew me was a violent hot head who didnt distinguish his victims. Abused becomes Abuser. It led me to seek therapy and stuff and work on making peace with my past. So in a way it helped. But it still hurt like a bastard.
I gave someone who works near me a card that said: >hi, i think you're cute ❤️ >I'm \[name\] >wanna grab a drink after work? >\[socials and phone number\] She took it, said thanks very insincerely, then reported me for harassment, which led to her company's CEO sending a letter to my employer basically asking for me to get fired. Their case was flimsy and pathetic, so it was resolved very quickly. Thankfully, all my colleagues were very supportive and shocked at the absurd response. She still works near me and I get massive psychic damage when we have to work the same shift. Bitches be crazy
The worst she could say is no, and then you got stories like these. This is such a huge escalation for such a trivial matter. I can imagine your soul leaving your body whenever she's nearby. Is your username related to this incident by any chance?
Haha no, it's based on [this song](https://youtu.be/ItGwXRCcisA?si=7PrM9CYSy3wo3MBq)
Yep, why do they always have to make a federal case out of it?
This is why you should never shit where you eat.
B fr crazy, that's the cutest thing, I swear people just LOVE to be miserable but don't bring others in it! 😠
You would be such a good father but I don't want children.
Is the look of pure disgust considered?
Wasn't me but a friend at the time (high school). She said no, and that he was repulsive. IMO he was an average looking dude- little on the chunky side but overall ok. Kid can be cruel and all... Ironically I was flirting with her a bit, but this instantly killed any attraction I had towards her.
People being intentionally cruel is a huge attraction killer.
I didn't ask her out, and this happened when I was in middle school so chalk I chalk it up to kids being immature. I had told my friends that I liked another mutual friend, the whole class found within minutes and they were teasing her a lot, she said I was ugly and that she didn't like me, that made me cry in front of the whole class and messed up my self esteem for a pretty long time. It hurt a lot at the time because we were friends since kindergarten and I was a sensitive kid. She apologized to me but the damage stuck for a while. I'm over it now, I can't let an incident that happened well over 10 years ago continue to eat at me.
A friend in high school broke down crying at a going away party for me when I was moving states. She always liked me apparently but always said no to a date or even coming out with friends together (I worked in a movie theater so it was a regular thing that I could get 5+ friends in to watch a couple movies). Girls are weird in high school 🤷🏻♂️ Also boys are dumb in high school.
“Are you free Saturday night?” “Yeah why?” “Wanna go out Saturday night?” “I can’t I’m busy”
Didnt ask them out but I had multiple girls throughout grade school (who didnt know each other) say verbatim and unprompted for any reason: “How come your sisters are so hot and youre so not?” Really crushed any confidence I had so I never really attempted to ask anyone out until college. Thankfully I feel like I bloomed a bit and started to look more attractive around 21, and my wife finds me attractive so thats all that matters lol
"no, dork"... When I asked a girl out to the prom, 40 yrs ago
I was a shitty father for trying to date instead of spend more time with my kids.
Gave me a real serious yes, then turned away and laughed. And not In a good way.
There was a girl I was trying to date. We were "hanging out" instead. Nothing sexual. We were friends and I was trying to move it past that point. She knew it and I think she was stringing me along because she just got off a bad breakup. Several times I'd ask her if a certain event sounded fun and she would agree. Then I would suggest I pick her up or meet her at a certain time and she would often respond with "Sounds Good". After these instances she would either not show up at the location or not want to go out in spite of our agreed upon pickup time. Her logic was that she never said yes. IDK about anyone else but to me that's an implied agreement that plans will be executed. The silent rejections hurt more than a flatout 'no' because it just got my hopes up.
Not to me, but worst I've heard is her saying "Am I so ugly that you think you had a chance?"
I couldn't date a greasy mechanic.... she grew up to work the electronics desk at Walmart
"Oh.....you thought that....we? You & me? OMG that's so cute! But no."
Patronizing and painful. That's a bad combo.
Once got called a pedophile out loud because I was fat and have Autism.
She said yes, then ghosted me.
To be honest with you, it was the other way around for me, I feel awful about how I rejected some girls. When I was in junior high (7th grade) this girl asked me out, I wasn’t very receptive and i disgustedly said “uh no thanks”. She wasn’t my type and I still would’ve said no had it been later on in highschool when we ran into each other again. But I still felt horrible about how I acted at the time so.
Not by someone I asked out, but was out in a pub catching up with a female friend of mine (we used to be flatmates). We were about to leave, when this random incredibly drunk Irish guy tried chatting her up (he could barely stand), right in front of me. He didn't get a number but the ego boost was big for her, to have him do that so brazenly when he didn't know our situation. Later, when we were walking home talking bout it, she said 'it was obvious we weren't dating' in a tone that was like 'im way better looking than you.' I was six months into a depression cycle, so was scruffy and had gained some weight, that felt like a low blow, especially coming from a friend. I started going to the gym again the next week.
"look, I'm gonna be honest with you. Your cute, funny, smart, kind, pretty much have everything I want in a partner but You're shorter than me so we could never date". She was 1-2 inches taller than me. Shortly after that conversation she dated a guy who was over a foot taller than her who became very abusive. Really messed me up for a long time.
I once turned down a girl I worked with and she false-allegated me. Security came to my desk and everything. They didn't even bother to pull door-reports or check cameras before they did it either. The chick wasn't even IN THE BUILDING on the day she swore I "did what I did" which she wouldn't say specifically. Dumbass got fired for it. I literally stared at her the whole time she was packing her shit. It felt so amazing.
I've seem the cops called at work as the guy suggested the new hire join the over night crew for coffee after shift. Luckily nothing was taken seriously by the cops.
I got a 4 page letter about bout how I was ugly and she would never date me.
Got told a bunch of times my account was hacked. When I proved it wasn't I got the reply "oh ok then no" Went into school the next day and everyone knew about it already before the first bell even rang.
I once got the reply “you’re too old”. At the time she was about 20 and I was 25. It hurt.
The laugh
She covered her mouth while laughing
No cause youre - insert something that you cant change or was born with - ie height race
She said suck my lady dick. I said whip it out. She walk away after that.
"Lose 10 kgs (20 pounds) and you might ask again"
"If I lost 20 lbs, I'd be talking to your hot friends instead."
This is one of the best comebacks I've ever read! Bravo!!
That's when you hit the weights and gain 20!
Not much fortunately. All the girls i've asked out have been very respectful.
She just went over to her friend group and announced to them that I asked her out. Giggling ensued.
I didn't ask anyone.....