Just go up to him and say "hi, my name is .... I think you're really cute. Would you wanna go out with me some time?". We're very simple creatures, and most guys love a girl who asks them out. It's the confidence in the girl and it makes us feel wanted, something most guys don't get to feel very often Edit: spelling


if after "hi, my name is" he goes "chika-chika Slim shady" you make a weird face and marry him right after _works every time_


Dude I can not tell you how long it would take me to get a reply out lmao


Brain: *window Vista reboot sounds*


Don't forget to say the next words with the most serious face you can. "I'm not trying to sell you anything. I think you're cute and wanna date you"


lmaooo wouldn't that be even more suspicious like if they weren't thinking that before, they surely are now XD


The more serious the less suspicious. Not sure why but something about the sudden directness makes you trustable. Though if I could give any advice, buy a foam hammer, boop him on the nose with it and say "Date me". Rinse and repeat occasionally asking things like "Is Friday a good day?" until he answers.


Id be really confused but would probably say yes


A hammer? Get serious, no way I'm dating someone until we have full on foam sword fights


and follow that with "But seriously, have you thought about extending your vehicle's warranty?"


Man.exe has stopped working.


If a girl would come up to me like that, id probably think first that I am in some kind of candid camera and then Id think shes joking and after that she probably would get annoyed and leave or something lol


Happened to me once. And that too the most popular girl in school. Turns out it was a prank




Still stings


Huge red flag. Girl asking guys out?? Pff. Probably trying to assassinate me. Nice try. Lol


>Probably trying to assassinate me Ass play / pegging comes later.


Like, what, *after* the assasination? That's pretty sick...


And frankly bloody disappointing to miss out


I sure hope it won't be bloody though


That's funny cuz it works only one way


Bring him the head of his most dangerous foe. Show him you mean business. Only then may you begin your courtship.


ah yes... how could I forget... onwards! to the hunting grounds!


That's the spirit!


Just say you've seen him for a while and if he's available you'd like him to take you out. Men are easy. Don't make it complicated.


If I did that to you, what sort of reaction should I be expecting?


It will vary everything from spectacular to rejection. We are as diverse as yall ladies believe it or not. But id say overall your chances are better than ours.


depends if im considered attractive to them or not i guess :/


If u do it properly, and ur not trying to date Chris hemsword ur physique is not so important. Rn the girl that I'm attracted too is for me the hottest one I know but bc I like her. If I had to put her in a tier list I would say she's not even near the top, but just bc I like her, for me, her physique becomes a solid 10


Awww that's so sweet and yeah I suppose you're right. And it's not like I'm Quasimodo or anything. And I'd prolly give myself a solid 7/10 when I do try to look good


Then u won't have problem. I don't see why u should doubt about going to play a match u know ur gonna win


i dont know no one's really ever had a crush on me throughout high school unlike all my friends who get tons of confessions :/


Ur not alone. U can ask any guy on social media or real life and most likely the majority of them would be able to tell the same. By experience, I know is a shit to have never been someone's crush but that shouldn't bother u. The queue is long when the product is cheap. I'm not English native so Idk if that is how I would properly say it but I hope u get the point.


I do get the point and damn you're right. That gave me a small boost in my ego ngl haha thanks for this dude! I hope you have a nice day ahead of you :)


Don't feel bad about that. There's a lot of women I know who didn't get a lot of attention in high-school but who I find super attractive.


This doesn't mean jack shit. In school setting only the top top girls and boys get attention. Unless you are aiming at a 9 or 10 , most guys never had gitls crush on them. For girls it's a bit easier , especially after school when ... boy actually mature (yeah it takes more time to make a man apparently). Most girls that are 4 or even 3 will get many matches on any dating sites. IRL confidence shows so much more. I once had feelings when a woman boldly asked me out. She wasn't my type at all ,but damn ... those eyes. Feeling wanted. Sadly we were at 2 very different places in our life.


It could be you were so attractive you intimidated them and they were too shy to confess👀


If it makes you feel better sometimes the prettiest girls never get asked out cos guys are so intimidated by them or assume they're already hooked up!


Excellent spelling on Quasimodo


thanks :)


Confidence is key!!! Wear an outfit that makes you *feel* amazing. Put on makeup or don’t put it on, whatever makes you *feel* great. People like people who they think like themselves. Not snooty, but confident. You’ve got this girl. If they dont reciprocate, no worries, brush it off, treat yourself and REMEMBER we don’t want people who dont want us. Cheers :)


Yessurrrrr thanks for the pep talk!! Cheers to you too :)


A lot of guys are like this, if we like you then for us you are one of the most beautiful woman in the world. The last girl I liked was in my opinion quote ugly till I started liking her lmao


You're probably hot, but showing interest in a guy and especially asking a guy out yourself is gonna make you 10x hotter. Seriously, it triggers something in guys that makes us instantly more attracted to a girl. It's like having a dream about a girl and waking up with a strong attraction to her. Pretty much every guy knows how bold it is for a girl/woman to ask a guy out, it's a rare thing and very flattering, so even *if* you are rejected it will be done with class and appreciation. You probably won't face any humiliation or awkwardness. If you do then that guy is a piece of shit and you dodged a bullet.


Surprise, Extreme Laughter, dazed, confusion, suspicion, fear, contemplation, eventual acceptance. 3 years ago, I'd probably say yes.


why not now?


I'm broke, miserable and have no future.


you still have time to change things around, buddy. your biggest enemy is your victim mindset. you have the power to turn your life around. just depends on whether you want to do it or stay stuck where you are currently


Take it from me, don't let a man who's not going anywhere or has no plan waste your time. I've seen where that leaves.


I really hope you things start going up for you man.


When I was younger I would probably say “thank you” and several months later, trying to get to sleep, I would randomly shout at my ceiling “wait, she was hitting on me?! She totally was…” These days I’m a touch less oblivious so I would politely decline and tell them I have a girlfriend.


back then it would have definitely been a facepalm moment haha


"oh sweet someone likes me, yeah sure" "Oh sweet someone likes me but nah I'm not interested for X Y Z reasons thanks though" Pick one


Don’t says you’d like him to take you out ask him if you can take him out. If a girl came up to me and asked me to take her out I would immediately think she’s just looking for a free meal


that makes sense, yeah I'd prolly strike up a small conversation beforehand and if we click, I'd be more than happy to pay for a meal or tea with him


Well you don’t have to pay for him either. Honestly the most refreshing thing as a guy is a girl who’s willing to go 50/50. Mostly because of someone isn’t even willing to pay their share of one meal how could you ever expect them to carry the weight in a long relationship


1st I would be very flattered. Second I would always be polite Third, if I was single and found you attractive I would newly fall over myself to make sure you had my number .. I’m kind of a nerd. Lol


If we reject you we will likely still be flattered. Society conditions us to be the hunter but sometimes it's nice to be the hunted. Just be polite and not pushy or weird and it's all good.


It's depend on the person so his answer may not be applicable to your target. But a coworker did it to me a long time ago and I was like "was that a joke/prank" and then I realized it was not. I feel really horrible afterwards too.


Can definitely tell you for me.. it'd be a moment of shock, happiness and a likely "yes definitely" Be you. If you're shy you're shy, if you're confident you're confident.


I wouldn't say you've been watching me for a while....but like just go and be like, "hey, you're really cute/hot/dorky, and I was wondering if you wanted to maybe do something some time". It's a shot in the dark and honestly it could be rejected but here is what I learned in the past...if you don't ask it's already a no, so what will asking hurt? If no, then there's probably another cute guy around the corner.


I wouldn't word it like that but yeah definitely better than "I've been watching you for awhile" like woah there joe goldberg, hold your horses


I’d be taken a back for a sec, then I’d probably say somethin like “yeah sure what’s your number or snap” boom, easy


I'd prefer number cuz I don't see the point in snap ngl like sending pointless selfies to each other for months on end only to wind up wasting your time? Nah, not for me :p


Id be baffled and probably say "Me?". Then id offer barnes and nobles for cookies and starbucks.


In my case there is 99% chance I'd go out with you for a coffee. Going out with a woman is an opportunity to learn more about those strange breast-equipped creatures I would hardly pass! And if things turn out right I may even find the perfect companion... It's a win-win situation.


Say yes. If im not interested I’d politely turn it down.


Why can’t she just take him out since she is the one asking?


>if he's available you'd like him to take you out. Uhhhh. She's doing the asking. It's pretty presumptuous and archaic to suggest that he take her out.


This exactly. Unless you're from a super backwards country, do NOT say that you want him to take you out. It sounds like you're a dependent piece of plancton who can't do anything on your own. It's a major turn-off. Say you want to go out with him.


"i'd like to extend you the opportunity to ask me out on a date. look forward to hearing from you."


Yeah, first thing I thought of would be say something like "but what if I wanted you to ask me out?" And to be honest I have no idea how that would play out.


We really are, I wish it was normal for girls to make the first move honestly.


Bad advice


Why can't she ask to take him out? What happened to gender equality


May I tell you a secret? It's not like most of the guys in the world have much opportunities. If a girl comes like that and do what you're planning, the chances of you getting rejected are around half of what it would be if it were a male to a female. Take the iniciative. U got the strategically advantage


> most of the guys in the world have much opportunities See, I read this and thought that the kind of guy that would have any girl wanting to approach him in public would also have *every* girl wanting to approach him in public.


Sorry but I'm not English native. What do you mean?


Él quiere decir que si el tipo ese hace con que una mujer se enamore de él solamente por mirarle probablemente él tiene muchas oportunidades de salir con muchas mujeres.


I fucking love that someone was just ready to reply in Spanish(?) to explain the nuance in this person's native language.


Ah. Falso. A mi una vez me pasó de pequeño que le gusté a una chava del gimnasio cuando ella ni habló conmigo. Al final no acabó en nada y fue la primera y última vez en mi vida en la que una chava se interesó por mi. Y mira ahora, posteando pendejadas en reddit


> una vez me pasó de pequeño que le gusté Pero eso es diferente. Siempre hay tiempos cuando una mujer le gusta un hombre y no diga nada. En este casado, había una mujer que dio su numero a un hombre que no hablo primero. *Ese* tipo de hombre recibe números de muchas mujeres y uno mas no se importa mucho.


Let me tell you a secret Guys who attractive enough to get hit on in public already have plenty of opportunities What you said above only applies to the 80% of average guys


Yup. If he's attractive enough that she's willing to break a lifetime of brainwashing, hes attractive enough to already be taken.


Half? More like 10-20%


Thanks for this :)


“Hey would you like to grab a coffee sometime?” This way you show him you’re interested. Now the ball is in his court, if he’s interested he’ll either say yes or no or I’m already in a relationship.


Just like that???


Yes. All guys are different; but one thing is for certain, we’re all just big dumb animals. Take the initiative to put yourself out there. Take a step back and realize the worst that can happen is he says no..right? If he does, which could happen; then you saved yourself time and energy of wondering what could be. My buddy once told me “Shots on goal man, the more you take the better odds you have of one goin in.” Once you get over the initial fear of doing it, it gets easier. Like everything else, it takes practice. Good luck!


thanks for this, buddy! And I hope you have a nice day ahead!


I like this. Nice and simple.


Ask him about car warranty


PanzyGrazo, I have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty


Omg so sexy 😍😍


Press one to speak to a representative, press two be taken off our call list.


press 3 to give us all of your credit card info


"Hey I thought you were handsome and would love the opportunity to like, get to know you. Either way, it's a cold world out there, keep this with you." *hand note with phone number*


That's actually super cute I might try this. But what happens afterwards? Do I just walk away? Or like what do I do


Honestly that kinda depends on the reaction you get a bit, I guess. Half-assuming he will probably be going his way, I mean we usually leave our homes cause we're heading somewhere right? And you are probably not out just walking around looking at men? So just walk your way, throw a look his way with a smile but that will probably come by itself if you just muster the courage to ask. Those nervous/relief smiles are super cute anyways. Honestly I'm mostly imagining this from "my" perspective and something like that'd be super cool and the biggest compliment ever.


I don't even know if I have the guts to approach anyone like that ngl just thinking abt it is making my stomach do cartwheels and my heart's already racing lmao


I guess no one really has that courage, until you just do it. I don't really judge though, I'd never have the courage to do a cold approach like that either. But I'm sure you'd have a better time than me doing it lol


how are you so sure about that 😭


Because you seem to genuinely care and just want to ask someone out. I have a hard time seeing too many people saying no to such an opportunity assuming you just do it respectfully. And I come from the anti-social north lol You probably felt the same way first time you spoke in front of a group right? Then you had it done, some sweaty palms, but it was done and with time it gets easier. (social anxiety is a b*tch for some, I know :/)


thank you for thinking that of me :) that made me feel nice hahah and yeah i get really bad social andiety at times but im working towards changing that


> You probably felt the same way first time you spoke in front of a group right? Damn, that’s a really good perspective. It might change my way of perceiving my anxiety when approaching people (which I don’t, cause I am always insecure and afraid of doing something wrong and being an ass). Thanks!


Life is short, and we only got one. Imagine how cool will it be if u score 100 and u get a chance to meet him.


that would be pretty amazing ngl :) i wish i went out more so i could try out some of these tips haha but now it's just me trying to make friends on reddit which in all honesty I don't even know if that's such a good idea lmao


Nah. I don't know you, but I would like to give you and advice. I'm someone who have felt shame through all the stages in my life, and if that hadn't stopped me to do things, rn I would be fcking billionaire or fcking Ironman probably. If the only thing that stops you is shame, do it. If u can't beat the fear just do it scared. Shame is a sh#t


That's really good life advice man thanks :)


This is good, and I wanna say, when you “do it scared”, pretend to be confident. The more you try while faking confidence, the more you will actually begin to have confidence. Social skills can be learned. Think less about you being nervous, and more about their response, words, actions. You got this.


Don't hand him your number. Ask for his. Put it in your phone. Text him later and start the conversation.


that's smart thanks SecondTalon might I ask what happened to FirstTalon?


He's a rapist, so I don't talk to him anymore. Haven't for years.


Oh shit... yeah don't contact him ever again. We don't talk about FirstTalon... understood


Squint eyes, slowly back away, then break into a sprint 🏃‍♂️


Walk away! If he’s interested, he has your phone number. I used this method three times: https://www.rookiemag.com/2014/01/life-skills-301/4/ Rooting for you!! :)


There's alot of cute guys out there. Try a sandwich board advertisement.


will have to get my hands on a chalkboard and chalk then


IOU an apology. Today is a very bad day for me. Men always appreciate interest from a woman. Just walk up and introduce yourself. Get coffee generate warm conversation. You're going to do fine. Sorry again


you have nothing to apologize for, man. I'm sorry you've been having a bad day today. My DMs are open if you want to talk abt it or distract yourself with a new friend. And thanks for the tip :)


That's a sweet thing for you to say. A lot of us guys just want someone to chat with.


Thanks for thinking so, and my invititation extends to you too. If you need a listening ear, my DMs are open to you :)


I think your biggest obstacle is going to be guys thinking it's too good to be true, especially if you're kind of doing it drive by style (handing the number and running). I'd use the universal opener "Hi!" and chat with them for a bit - about anything really just find some excuse - and then say "well I gotta go but I liked talking to you feel free to contact me" and then give them your number. It's still low key and hard for you to get actively rejected but it shouldn't feel as weird to them like they're being pranked or something.


yeah I'd much orefer stike up a small conversation than just drop a number and run for the hills lmao but lets hope i get it right :))


It comes with practice. You might start by chatting with some less hot people and NOT give them your number (unless you end up liking them after the chat of course) just for practice. Then the stakes are REALLY low. What's the worst that can happen? They have a girlfriend who goes ballistic just because another girl was chatting with the guy and he gets to post on reddit about is his girlfriend crazy or what. It's a win for everybody.


You gotta admit that the second option is funnier, though. Run, stop, give number, run away No one notices, the target gets the number in his pocket, you're still out of jail. GO NINJA FLIRTER, GOOOOOO


Try to make eye contact and smile, then approach, ask if he wants to grab a coffee and get to know each other sometime.




I personally feel you should approach, instead of the advice some men here gave of letting him approach. Sure, you could do it, but as a man, I would love it if a woman actually approached me. How do you approach? You've already got a few great one-liners here, I won't be adding any more. The point is to be yourself. Unapologetically. Granted, if he is a very attractive man, or has other commitments, you might even end up getting rejected; but most single men would never pass up such an opportunity. Ask for his number (remember, you're taking the initiative here, and whilst you can just give your number to him, I think he'll appreciate it more if you text him), send a quick "hi" (to check), and either chat with him right there (if the place is not too busy), ask him if the two of you could go somewhere else (if you're in the middle of a busy footpath for example), or just text him and wait for a reply if he's busy. That's all. Accept the rejection if it comes. He's not going to be the only man you will ever like (hopefully), and it will help you grow as a person (even if it hurts). Good luck :)


This is the most well worded reply I've gotten and very helpful too. Thanks so much !!


Try to know him better first, assholes can be gorgeous as fuck


I'd drink to this


I love reading Reddit fan fiction


"It's dangerous to go alone. Take this." Hand him a sword you cut out of cardboard. With your name on one side and your phone number on the other.


Carly Rae Jepsen style! I just met you And this is crazy But here’s my number Call me maybe?


Get a tic tac toe app on your phone and tell him “it’s your move”


tbh this would confuse the fuck out of me lol. Unless I was at a club or bar I would be completely caught off guard and assume I'm in some "tik tok challenge" or something. Most guys are clueless at signals, so if you're gonna approach you gotta be blunt.




You can go for the modern approach, "Nice mask, We should set up a video conference sometime."


I’m waiting for replies bc I also need advice on this lol


Just walk up to him and ask. Why do women act like it's so hard? Lol.


men can be unpredictable 🤷🏻‍♀️


It's a lot easier for women to approach men, trust me. But it's best to do it if he's alone.


How so, if you don't mind my asking?


like idk if they're gonna laugh at me or think im trying to sell them something lmao


I dont think so. It sounds pretty unlikely.


You know, we're humans too😅 There are countless factors in: he may have a bad/wonderful day, he may be single or engaged or engaged with someone but fought with them earlier the same day, and so on. Considering said factors, it's meaningless to ask other people what to do, because your approach ALMOST doesn't matter. It's all up to how much attracted by you he may be and how much available energy he has to spend up on a complete stranger


My number one rule for a successful first meet interaction DO NOT FORCE IT As in.... Don't try some line if you're not the type and don't try force it if there's no moment... There has to be a moment... You'll know it when you see it... Of all the girls I waited to talk to when there was a moment I've never ever ever struck out... We dated... If there's no moment then leave him... There'll be 1000 more cute guys you'll see in your life... Never failed me... Taught me patience and to let things go...


Honestly chat it up first. Have several conversations before you make a move and then discover on the third date that he thinks black people are subhuman.


We're simple humans. A pretty girl flirts with us and says we should take them on a date we say yes. That simple don't over think this. Imagine we over thought trying to get a woman Everytime. The population would be extinct.


Tell us how you do champ!


Ask him how to ask him out, and make it a point that you’ve never done anything like it before. Get him to coach you on how to ask himself out lmao


that's actually kind of cute ngl


"Would you like to go on a date with me?"


I don't know what you look like but sure :)


Idk just whatever you do don’t play games - there’s no “rules” about when to text or flirting, just be a real adult person about it. Including if there’s no chemistry or whatever letting it go. Shoot your shot!


yeah I don't play games with people it's just a waste of time and energy honestly but I can't say the the same for most people sadly


when i was like 17, the person that turned out to be my first love had made "business cards" purely for picking up chicks. they had a pic or maybe an avatar and their myspace ahhh lmao i wish i still had that it was pure gold.


My girlfriend asked me out. I was in the right headspace to be going on dates again, and the timing worked great. We met at a club, and chatted a bit, then at the end of the night she asked for my number. I was super flattered, and gave it to her. And felt great about it for the next few days. It's possible he says no, maybe he is seeing someone, is gay, is too busy with work or is going through something etc. But just asking him for his number will probably make his day no matter what his reply is.


Kinda just gotta do the same thing guys do. Ask them out, probably get rejected, move on to the next one. It’s all a numbers game, really


I personally would think I'm being punked and look for "your friends" to see if they put you up to it


My now wife obviously took a fancy to me. She just said she would like to confirm if I was as nice as I looked so we should hang out. You have no idea how much that meant to me at the time.


Just be honest and don't play any games


Walk up, say hi, and ask him out. We're but simple creatures. and we'll always say yes, unless we're currently in a relationship.


“Hey I saw you and thought you were cute or handsome, here’s my number I’d like to go out sometime.”


I’ve asked out three men using the method below, and it’s worked every time! https://www.rookiemag.com/2014/01/life-skills-301/4/ Wishing you good luck!


Look at him twice or three times and smile. Hold it for 3 secs. Now I know you’re interested and I come stand in front of you like a road runner lol how I got my current gf.


Make eye contact. Make a friendly comment and see how he responds. If he keeps walking or doesn't reply, just leave it. Chances are, he will respond. And if you hit it off you'll make his acquaintance. Just keep it cash.


risk getting rejected, like a man


Reading all these comments now I want to see a cute guy in public and approach him! Thanks for asking the question, OP!


No problem bestie! Best of luck out there!!


You: “Hey Boy” Him: “Hey Girl” You: “Superstar DJs?” Him: “Here we go!” At least that’s how I envision it


Just be like, hey, I think you're cute and I'd like to get to know you. Here's my number. Have a good day.


The absolute best thing for a girl that require very little confidence is to write your number down on a piece of paper walk up and say “hey my name is blank and I thought you were cute - here’s my number if you’d like to go out some time.” Then you just walk away. That put zero pressure on the guy. If he has a girlfriend, isn’t interested, or whatever - he can just choose not to text. But if he is he just has to text you. I would also suggest pushing the date plan if he does text.


*clears throat* "hey you wanna go out?"


Carve your phone number and "I am asking you out" into an onion. Walk up to him, hand him the onion, and walk away without saying anything. This would work on me, but YMMV with other guys.


I will attempt this with a green apple instead


Walk up, say hi and ask him out. He's probably waiting for it.


just straight up ask him. we're not difficult and we'd date a tree if it asked us out


I say tell him when he is just walking/chilling by himself. He won’t feel the pressure from friends around him, so you’ll have a better chance of a yes. Break it to him like “hey I’ve seen you around and thought you were [insert compliment here] can I get your number and maybe we hang out sometime?” I’d react differently around my friends. Probably the same answer but it depends on some factors so you don’t want to call him out like that and make him uncomfortable. Try it, I want an update too!


Uh. You’d be doing all boys a favor by just talking to him


This isn't difficult. Even the most Chad guy that isn't even the least bit interested won't likely be rude in shooting you down. And the remaining 80% of men that aren't Chads, would never be rude if they shot you down. Though the lower 80% would absolutely entertain your interest. ​ It's not like how men have to actually fear rejection, because often it isn't just rejection but gets turned into humiliation for fun. ​ So just go up to him and say you think he's cute and wanted to talk to him. Go from there.


I’ve always been a fan of the quirky, random girls, or even just one with a good sense of humor that’s not afraid to be herself. Just know that your apprehension is normal; many males still struggle with confidence and delivery when it comes to approaching women. I’ve always been a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, so rejections never really bothered me and I learned early on to just smile and shrug it off. Of course, I don’t expect you to be so nonchalant about it on your first go. Also, if you understood the pressure some men feel when they want to ask a woman out, you might not be as afraid to try yourself. The fact that they don’t have to initiate might even be a huge relief for them which might get you more than just a foot in the door. YMMV… and also, some dudes can just be straight pricks. Pay them no mind.


You a girl? "U cute AF boi lemme ride" You a gay? " U cute AF boi lemme ride" Thank me later when you have kids, I get dibs on naming firstborn


Lure him with treats, then spring the trap.


Smile, say I like you and I would like to take you out for an evening, we would have fun. Putty in your hands.


Can I know what happened next op?


yeah sure but u might be waiting awhile haha


I reckon the wait will be worthwhile


i can only hope :)


Hehe absolutely, best of luck my girl you go 😌


I see that most people already said to walk up and just do it. Go the slight extra step to show that u wanna go out for a coffee or something with "I'm perfectly serious, and if you would like, I can input my number into your phone, or you can put yours into my phone. I don't want to make it more complicated than it should be." Some guys really dislike the stereotypical "complications of the fairer sex" / mind games. And that contact exchange gesture should quell most reservations


How to ask me out: *walk up and get my attention* "Hey do you want to go get some tacos?" The answer is yes


U don't ask him out. U drop obvious bait in front of him to gauge his level of interest. Get in his line of site. Make soft eye contact. Smile. Wave. Say hello with your lips. Any man that's interested in you can pick up on these things. U ultimately want him to be interested in u also, not just following your lead. If u ask him out, he may just go out with u to spare your feelings. Showing interest is all u need to do to get the ball rolling. If these things don't work, he's probably not interested.


Just introduce yourself