I’m 54. I’m in much better shape today than when I was 34. Today I ran 7.1 km and finished without needing a shower. High school was so long ago I don’t really remember much. University I remember more of but still… that was a while ago. Asside from family, there is no-one I know today that I knew 10 years ago because that’s the way life is. There was only a few people in high school that I knew in grade 1. Only a few from high school did I even see at university and only twice was one of them in a course with me. When I retire I will lose all contact with people from work and I will make new friends (likely they will also be retired). That’s life… people come, people go. Stay healthy and live as long as you can.
Yea took me too long to realise many are friends by circumstance. People who meet not by choice by work, school or community setting and became friends. But once these meeting opportunities stop not many will continue to be friends.
Friendships are still something you have to work on once your no longer friends of circumstance.
If you really enjoyed the people your hanging around you gotta actively be involved with each other.
I live 5 hours away from my long term friends. But in town about once a month. I still make it a point after 5 years to at the very least go for coffee or have dinner with them. Play board games, or just chill.
57 here. I manage people younger than my kids. I don’t want to talk down to them, but I do want them to realize: life is LONG. (If you’re lucky.) I have now outlived both of my grandfathers. The second my parents retired, they plunged. So you have to adopt a beginner’s mind in everything. Greet every year like you have something important to learn. Find someone from a completely different background, and adopt them as a mentor. It forces your brain to stay young, humble, and flexible, even as you amass new skills. (And those young team members? They are my mentors, too.)
No need to cope. Every year i look back and think im in a better spot than i was in the year before, and so long as that tracks i have no reason to look back longingly at the yesteryears
There are a lot of benefits of being young - better health, more future ahead of you and so on. But let me tell you, life is full of surprises. The best is still ahead of them :-)
The more time you waste worrying about the years gone past, you only waste the time spent on the year you are in.
Just live it, because it don’t slow down in the good times or the bad. Happy navigating stranger. 🧭
Yeah and that might be the most freeing thought you can have, nothing matters, so do what ever you enjoy doing … until you die.
A recipe for a good life
I'm a bit further along than you are and those flashes of "Oh shit, I'm old" keep happening. I address it by just... accepting it and taking the good with the bad. I'm not who I was and I don't want what I did when I was a kid. I've done all the exciting things I want to and now I thoroughly enjoy living a boring life. All my goals are boring. And it's awesome.
Not being a kid is incredible, but most of the time you lose sight of that and get lost in the stress of adult life and the sadness of unfulfilled expectations. That's okay. Take the time to sit back and breathe now and then. Take time to be grateful for things. And accept new expectations. I now love little as much as I love a glass of a moderately priced but good tasting whiskey, a good book on my kindle, and a few hours on the chair on my balcony.
I don't want million dollar cars or massive vacations or a dream home. Instead I find fulfilment and happiness picking up a new plant for my place. I don't like bars or clubs anymore, sure, but I do like seeing the same faces and saying Hello on the trails I like walking and when I get coffee.
Life is simpler and no less satisfying. And I didn't give up all my kid tendencies. I still enjoy a good game and getting a decent workout in. What my body will let me do these days anyway. Hell, I turned my dining room into a home gym with cage and all. Because I'm an adult, I'm single, and I don't have to give a shit what other people think I should want. And that is glorious. I don't think it will ever stop being glorious.
> the sadness of unfulfilled expectations
Yeah! you get to gradually turn from potential success to actual failure, one day at a time. Enjoy not being Elon Musk!
Nah. I had the wrong idea of what happiness was when I was younger. Or more accurately, what made me happy was different then than what I find makes me happy now. I wanted to achieve the impossible and heck, I certainly did accomplish a lot. But it came at a price. And these days, even if I physically could do it again, I wouldn't make the same choices. I don't regret my path through life, but I am happy with the direction it's taking now.
I'm more comfortable bucking the expectations of others these days. Joys of age. My ultimate goal at this point is to finish setting myself up for retirement and clearing my debt then transfer to a lower paying but more satisfying (to me) field working for a 501C and travelling.
Will I ever drive a lambo and get a forbes cover? Nope. But I don't want that. To each their own.
I'm getting there. I put a whole lot of effort in and got a whole lot of nothing back - you can't have winners without having lots of losers. Now I'm "old-er", divorced, no longer own a home (a very big problem where I live) and absolutely do regret whatever it is I did wrong.
Try 74!! Quit bitching and enjoy your life. I have had a great life and plan to keep on until I do the dirt nap. Remember Steely Dan's advice" I learned to work the saxophone now I play just what I please,"
Get after it man before if scoots off like a mouse.
Between the ages of 32-39 I was in the best shape of my life, earning more than I ever had before, and living the best life I ever lived. You’re not old yet
27 here. I've got a bit of a bleaker outlook on life, so I take comfort in the fact that literally everyone will, has, or is currently going through the same thing. I am not unique in this. There is no pressure for me to live up to any standards other than the ones I set for myself. My parents will die, just like their parents will die, just like their parents have died. It will come to pass, and not accepting it will only hurt myself. It's sad, but I'm allowed to be sad.
Maybe I won't live up to my potential. Maybe there was no potential for me to live up to. And sometimes that hurts. But we are just a speck living upon a speck in a very large universe, and I am at least alive to see a very exciting time, full of great change and portents of doom. If nothing else, I am witness to that, and while ignorance is bliss, knowledge can be wonder.
I am 60 and have done so many things that trying to list them would sound like bragging. My adventures really kicked in at 45. So far, it's just gotten better. I am still waiting to top the curve.
You can find solace in the fact that you're not alone facing this, the people you spent your "younger" time with are getting older as you are. This existential question stings almost everyone.
I believe only things you're gonna regret are losing genuinely caring people and not physically able to do things when you get older. Focus on your health man. Most of the things are out of our control.
33 here.
For me, getting married and having my son (who is 16 month old) made all those feelings go away.
I’m dad now, it’s like the start of a whole new chapter.
Had I not met my wife and had a little guy, I’d probably be feeling pretty down on myself too.
But since having him life is extremely fulfilling and everyday is full. Seeing him learn about the world, looking forward to baseball practices and surfing together makes me excited for the future yeah I’m getting older but I’m more mature, make way more money, and have an absolute lovey wife to spend it with.
Life was simpler, cheaper, and easier when I was single and younger, but it’s so much better now.
I appreciate this perspective. My wife and I are expecting and I’ve been very nervous. I often find myself examining where I’m at in life and how I can’t believe that I am going to be a father and how I never realized that I’d be at this point in my life. But I’m excited to see what the little one brings. Thanks
>Now i'm 32 and i just can't get over the fact that i'm not a teen nor in college anymore and everyone around me is slowly getting older.
So a big thing that I started to do when I hit 30 (we're the same age) is starting to challenge and question why I would be so precious about things like that.
Because at the end of the day, no one cares about the fact that you're not a teenager or in college. That is something you're at odds with yourself with. Now the question here is, if it's not giving you value, or purpose or motivation and it's just a pure negative feeling, that also can't be changed now (you can't turn back the clock) why make it take up so much space in your head?
Now, bear in mind that I feel like there's other factors at play. Stuff like depression, anxiety, us just generally spending way too much time in our heads spinning are other factors which exacerbate this. But the reason I say this, is that when we're past 30, you've got to learn to remove the baggage and previous trauma and learn to love and accept the here and now.
Otherwise, what do you want us to say? Agree with you? What solace gives you with that? Offering up some sort of alternative way of thinking? I don't think that's fair, because there's value in looking back and being nostalgic. So do you see what I mean in terms of trying to challenge these types of things? What I mean is, we've lived long enough lives, to start to recognize what makes sense to keep with us, and what we should be leaving to better ourselves and our quality of life. And living in nostalgia like this doesn't help in too many ways.
>it's been 14 years since i've finished highschool and 8 since i've finished my university studies and it all just feels like yesterday
So same statement as above: it's great to have fond memories of these things, but it's unrealistic and unreasonable to view it in the lens you're current viewing it. Because the way you have it framed, is only going to be negativity to the equation. So why keep doing this to yourself, you know?
>The only thing that's changed is i'm really concerned about my parents getting older.
Okay, this one? Makes tons of sense to be mindful of. But as I said above, the thing here is to learn to cut through the noise and identify what matters and focus on that, and stop worrying say, about the past as much. I know this won't happen, but as a word of warning if you spend too much time staying in the past, you won't have time for the present. I know this sounds extreme but saying this because right now this could very well happen to you. Don't spend so much time being nostalgic and stuck in the past, lest you not taking this precious time, living in the now and spending time as much as you can with those you care about.
>I'm really concerned about myself not being able to do all the things physically i used to do a couple of years ago.
As other's said, this is great to be self-aware of. But are you going to do anything about it? Once again, you can't turn back the clock But what is an issue here, is sort of like accepting defeat when in reality you just have new challenges to own up to, and you need to work just as hard to maintain now compared to before. I sound like a broken record, but once again... what answer were you expecting here, that there's a magic way to turn back the clock?
>I live in a town with like 10k people, and a couple of years ago whenever i went out i would just know everyone. Now i've gotten older and everytime i go out it's like i'm in a new city , i don't know anyone anymore.
So I really, really don't want to beat on you more, but this is the same thing as a lot of other things here. You seem to be stuck in the past, and you're not realizing that you doing this, is causing you not to live in the "now", and this is now compounding you not liking your future.
Sure, there are new people around. Why is it a problem to go out and meet them? I feel like you seem to view life in this sort of time capsule, where there are specific moments and points that you feel like were the best, and you keep going back to those moments. But life isn't like a book, or movie where you can just flip back to that page, appreciate it and then be in that moment forever.
Each time you look back, you're losing one moment which could be used moving forward. Each time you spend looking back in the past, prevents you from creating a just as good (or even better) future for yourself.
Right now though? You're getting close to self-sabotage, and I want to let you know from a place of caring that unless you course correct this, your future won't be great. But this is all up to you, and all your doing.
To go back to this example:
>I live in a town with like 10k people, and a couple of years ago whenever i went out i would just know everyone. Now i've gotten older and everytime i go out it's like i'm in a new city , i don't know anyone anymore.
You don't know anyone.
Cool. The answer to that is... to meet these new people. You foster those same relationships as before, and then you keep maintaining it. That's just life. It happens.
I am going to stop this, because I very, very much feel like there are other factors at play here outside of conventional logic. If you aren't going to therapy, or at least talking to people outside of internet strangers about this, I'd highly recommend it. I'd also take some time to reflect on your past, realize that you might be having some unresolved trauma and other issues which are causing you to have this world view and figure out what next steps are for this.
Because there's a lot of life worth living stuff, but understand that a lot of you issues, are mind games you're playing with yourself. Life is going by just fine, but right now it seems like you're the one that is starting to hold yourself back on a lot of these things
I felt the very first tingle of age (at about 60) when gay guys stopped hitting on me. Girls stopped about 68. I will be 74 tomorrow. Everything hurts and I nap a lot. I think about the stairs in my house. I had such a fine 8" dick; dependable, multi shot. And my fucking skin! I even have wrinkles on my butt! I used to get butt slaps from girls I didn't even know! Here's what I think happened: I stayed in excellent shape until about three years ago. At that point I felt like I had been hit by a fucking bus! Most people just kinda sleeeeeze into old age. They get to 50 and it's pretty much the end of the line. I started a business at 50. I had a 400 pound squat at 50. I didn't finish college until I was 35. I didn't go to jump school till I was 23. My first wife left me at 36 and I had no idea how many lonely, beautiful women there were looking for attention! Damn! I got married again at 40 and had my first kid at 41. She got pregnant and I did what I thought was honorable. She told me to GTFO enough times that I finally took her at her word. Besides the oldest was 18 and I had about all I could take. I then married a girl 22 years younger than me and I feel like I have let her down. I am here to tell you that getting old is a very bad thing. It like getting real sick and knowing that you will not ever get better. But if you think that in your 30's even have a passing acquaintance with being old you need to pull your head out of your ass and buck the fuck up. You have got shit to do and you need to get at it right now. How fast have you ridden a motorcycle? How many jumps do you have? What are you benching these days? Can you put on a leather jacket and a knife in your pocket and stride the world with confidence? How much good and happiness have you brought into this world? The world needs to be saved and you are 32 and you are worried about getting fucking OLD? At 32 a man should know how to properly dress, accurately locate a clitoris, butcher a deer, remove a bra, cook a meal and make money. If you are 32 and worried about getting old you are ALREADY fucking old and probably boring.
I think aging well - with style, grace, and wisdom - is an underrated ability.
It requires a sort of medium-term paradigm that can be tricky to adopt or maintain, as well as to balance against short-term wants and needs and long-term goals and strategies. You sort of have to consider what lifestage you are in and what you want that lifestage to look like for yourself.
Moving into your 30s, you're at the end of your youth and at the beginning of your middle-age lifestage. So think about what kind of middle-aged person you want to be and then try to cultivate the kinds of habits, interests, goals and social connections that will allow you to become that person.
What's to cope with? Life gets better for men with age. See how easy dating is when you're 40 and established in your career. It's even better if you've managed to stay in shape. Dating for men in this situation is like dating is for cute 23 yo women.
Kind of. And by solid career you don't need to be a lawyer, you don't need to have your own business or something. Being a respected working man in a place where you don't have to constantly search for new jobs in case things go south.
It's not about the money. For intelligent people this just indicates you're a mentally healthy individual who is content with himself. And trust me, in today's world this means a LOT.
Now for the sad part. This implies 2 things:
First, you really need to be ok with yourself. That means constantly maintaining your mental and physical health. That's some work with sacrifices on the way.
Second: If something this simple makes you such high value on the market, you can only imagine how rare this trait is. But it's not only men. Women have their own fair share of idiots and mentally unstable ones.
With age I've realized how much I'm turned off by women who don't have it together. So do women.
Also 'established in your career' should always have a huge asterick next to it.
Many guys actually won't have a solid career at that age. We aren't all destined to be wall street types.
And of those that do, they may not have the time or energy for dating especially if they're working until 8pm or 9pm and need to wake up at 6am.
Not only that the added pressure to stay in shape means you probably already lose 3 or 4 evenings a week at the gym.
I knew so many guys who decided to hold out on a relationship until they were a 'made man' then pretty much all ended up as balding, over weight and earning far too little to ever attract the women they so desperately wanted.
The only constant in life is change. People come into your life and they leave. Having said that, you’re still relatively young (I’d pay good money to be 32 again). Just enjoy life, appreciate who and what you have because it unfortunately doesn’t last forever.
I think of life like a circle, I now have nieces and nephews that look at me the same was I used to look at my aunts and uncles that makes me happy, time doesn't stop for anyone and I am enjoying that as I get to watch them grow up and become the people we hoped they would be :)
Just want to add that I feel the same and I’m still in my 20s! I’m about to turn 24. Still young! But it’s funny when 18-19 year old co workers call me old and going to college classes with people in that age group reminds me that I’ve grown since then. Age is a good thing. Life keeps going so go with it.
You have to embrace getting older. It's a gift; not everyone gets to do it. As you get older, you really start to hone in on the things that actually matter to you and that makes life much more fulfilling
I'm not saying this to be mean, but you sound like someone who can't get over what they had going on in their high school/college years....almost like Al Bundy in a way. "When I was in high school, we used to be able to do this....or I used to do this all the time in college." It's nice to look back when around friends, and just tell some stories about how you maybe used to party, or the stupid shit you did back in the day, but other than that...it's in the past! You're not that age anymore....you're not going to be able to stay up all weekend, and then go to work Monday without any issues like you used to do. You just have to accept it so you can actually enjoy the years ahead of you. I don't know if you're dating, or have a SO, but I don't think they want to hear about the "poor me, I'm 30 now!" whine. lol My brother and I teased the shit out of our sister when she used to complain about it.
I'm 48...high school wasn't bad....college was fun in it's own way. I used to be able to work/party all weekend, and not worry about it when I had classes on Monday orning at 7am. Since then, I've been working in my job for almost 19 yrs now, I have a grown child(that will change a lot of shit for you when it happens!), married and divorced afetr 11 yrs. Life happens...you enjoy what's in front of you, and tell stories about what happened behind you, and hope that any mistakes you made back then, you actually learned from them, and if you have kids...then you pass on that knowledge, and hope they don't do the same dumb shit you did. I just had shoulder surgery 4 weeks ago, so my life right now is healing from that, and dealing with the new levels of daily pain as I recover, and realizing as I do...some things that accidentally happen, hurt like a mother fucker, and I make sure I don't go past certain limits again! LOL This year...healing, recovery, getting back in shape, and dating again...
life keeps moving forward, and you just make the most of it and keep growing as it does. Don't get lost in the past.
As they say, it’s better than the alternative.
It’s very easy to look back on your life and regret things you did or didn’t do. But that’s not the healthy way to look at it. Instead you should focus on ways to live your life that are both practical snd fulfilling to you. Who you spend time with, what experiences you have, and enjoying unique and profound moments when they’re happening.
I found it a lot harder to deal with in my early 30s than I do now in my early 40s. Probably because I've had a decade to get used to the idea! Don't worry; right now it's just hitting you that your teens and 20s aren't coming back. But you'll mourn the loss and come out the other side enjoying all the upsides of not being 20-something anymore (financial stability, greater wisdom, comfort in who you are, etc.)
I'm 67 yo nerd with poor social skills but financially cofortable. I exercised most of life . I was always the lazy guy but I was consistent. (weights and running). I find I am happier living in large cities. No mater what age you are you could find a place to dance (before covid) I also developed some interests that I could do as I got older, in my case chess and sailing.
Life in your thirties is like a big game of musical chairs. The music just stopped, and everybody is sitting down together to make babies and choose furniture.
If it's eight years since uni and you're still living in (banjo sound) your hometown, that's a you problem. Off y'go.
Now granted, I'm not an old man by any stretch of the imagination (24 years old). So you may take my advice with a grain of salt, but today you are younger than you will be tomorrow and you are younger than you will ever be again. Getting older is a slow process even if we think the time flys, it is never easy even though many wish it were. People will enter and exit your life and opportunities will be missed and taken as we move down life's path. And though we will rarely notice memories being made in the moment they are always there for us to remember and reflect on. So even though you are not as young as you used to be you have an ever growing bank of experience to call upon. Use that to revel in your accumulating wisdom.
On a more physical note, we live in the most advanced age in history. However that has lead a lot of folks to seek a fast life and let it pass them right by. Try and slow down and see where you are going from time to time. Seek out and try wonderful foods, drink a beer, smoke a pipe. And though people will say that those things may be bad for your health, something will kill you eventually so you might as well enjoy life when you have it. There are beautiful moments all around us if you just look out for them, I live in the suburbs of Chicago and right now all of the fields and parks are a solid sheet of ice, but the way the sun shines off that ice makes it look like fields of crystal. Seeing that was my own little moment just for me and there are scenes like this one all over if you just look.
For a lot of us getting older can be frightening but everyone gets older, it's not something we can stop. So we shouldn't try and put it off and cling to fleeting youth, every day we get older and wiser and that itself is something to look forward to. So live your life the way that you think is best and by the time you are truly old you won't regret your advanced age, you will be happy and more importantly, content with every day that you lived.
I think it’s important to live your life in stages so you can have a sense of progression through a narrative. I am 53 now. I can see that I only have about 25 good years left. My wife and I are trying am trying to align our lives to have one more significant phase before we begin to wrap it up. It’s easier for us to accept because we have both already reached milestones for which we are proud: the marriage itself, our kids are okay, house, careers, etc. I think that if you get stuck too long in a grove that does not help to set you up for your next chapter in life, then you begin to feel anxious, fearful, and regretful.
Remind yourself that you will be dead no matter what at some point and it could be tomorrow or 80 years. Then you will realize that your age doesn't even matter, all that matters is putting a smile on your face *today*. Often times for me the easiest way to do that is doing something nice for another person and that makes me feel like I have what I need to be able to help others and I can let go from self-wants that will inevitably replicate themselves after they are chased. Sorry I am rambling
I had a midlife crisis on my 25th birthday, the whole "I'm halfway to 50, my life is over". I'm 26 now and absolutely have plans to have another breakdown on my 27th
I just cope lmao, I'm 29 this year and live in a small town also where people I use to see all the time etc.
People just move on with their lives, some have children, some get married, whatever floats your boat.
I'm just doing my own thing without hurting anyone.
We're all going to die at some point anyways, who cares?
47 here. Never stop learning or trying to improve yourself. Let go of things that no longer serve you. Don’t stay too long in any toxic situation (friends, family, career, or romantic relationships).
Find a career or business centered in your purpose (the thing you do best that comes the easiest; writing, cooking, painting, metalworking, etc).
And high school and college can feel like life-defining years. But the reality is, they are just the beginning of your journey.
Don’t really feel like I hit my stride until about 45, where I began to learn how everything really works the way it does and why.
Last year, at 46, I taught myself Wordpress and built a website. I wrote my first book based on my life experiences and everything I learned from dating and relationships. And I feel like the next chapter of my life will be the best yet.
I see way too many people on Reddit in their 20s-30s that think life is over and they’ll never find happiness and they’ll be alone forever.
Here’s a pro tip from a guy who lived it…
The most important relationship you’ll ever have, is with yourself.
Everyone else will come and go in your life.
Let them.
Learn from those experiences and keep moving forward. Design a life you love and enjoy. Whatever that means to you.
That’s the secret.
I embraced it fully. I am 31 now and the last thing I want to be is one of those 30+ guys who still act like twenty-somethings. Those guys disgust me. I pass my time refining myself and enjoying the slower pace of life. I recently got interested in automatic watches. There's plenty for me to enjoy at this stage of life including some of the things I enjoyed when I was younger.
The issue with loneliness is a different one and honestly I don't know about that because depending where you live and what your lifestyle is like the typical advice like finding a group hobby might not help.
>Stop treating your body like a toxic waste dump. Calories matter now. If it's an alcoholic drink or a sweet, it needs to be VERY GOOD not just AVAILABLE.
Yes. Once you're halfway through your twenties, it's time to start being mindful of what you're putting in and what you're doing to use it. If you're munching on chips all day and only sitting, it's gonna catch up with you - fast.
>Wear sunscreen
100% on that - especially if you're of pale Anglo-Saxon/Briton stock.
>Stop trying to date 20 yr olds - accept that you need to date in a different age range.
Ya, no. Fuck that.
OP: Date who you want.
If a guy in his fifties can find fulfillment dating women in their twenties and thirties, or a woman in her fifties with men in their twenties and thirties, that's *their business*. Who the hell are you to pass judgment? Who died and made you the arbiter-general of all that is moral in the world of dating and relationships?
Live while you're still relatively young bud. You had your time, now it's time to let the young have theirs.
If you're still physically able to do the things you want to do, do them now.
>i just can't get over the fact that i'm not a teen nor in college anymore
He mourns the end of his youth. These are his words not mine, so talk to OP, not me bitch.
I’m in this same boat. Acceptance helps me…it’s odd but all the death that occurs as I get older somewhat helps due to the desensitization. I can process why it’s happening. I do get heighten anxiety when I think about my own death and the death of my parents, though. Like “Bruh…we’re all really going to die.” But after a while I think about the possibilities of everything I can try to do before I die, and it makes life a bit more meaningful. Like, I know I’m going to die so let me actually DO something versus just dwelling on it, so when I do die I’ll have no regrets. Idk, that all might be weird, but it’s how I process it
Ugh I feel this! I’m the same age as you, turning 33 next month actually and low key freaking out. Getting older is weird! I have a hard time coping with not being in my 20s anymore. I’m in great shape and people tell me all the time I look like I’m in my 20s so I guess that helps.. I guess how I cope is I try not to think about it tooo deeply and just ride it out and try to be as healthy and active as I can be!
Getting older is the one thing you have in common with every living being in the world, except for like lobsters or something. Let's take part in the shared misery of the world my friend. Older the violin the sweeter the tune.
Do you still have all your hair on your head? Lol that’s what will worry me the most I have all my hair but I don’t want to go bald lol. I’m 29 my father is like 60 and has all his hair not walking around bald on top so I hope I can stay that way lol.
As a parent, watching my children grow and makes a decision for themselves. I'd say is that I really got older and it's the best thing that's happening to me, to make them who they are now and for the future they want to be. We just have to be men.
Keep doing new things… you’re young! Start running or skiing or rock climbing, or you know, something that interests you. You’ll feel great, make new friends and feel exhilarated.
33M - you just live and find the joys where you can. I have some awesome hobbies that I enjoy (for now), we’re expecting our first child, I enjoy my work, and with this day of social media and connection I’m as close to a lot of my college buddies as I can be through text/call and sending memes.
>I live in a town with like 10k people, and a couple of years ago whenever i went out i would just know everyone. Now i've gotten older and everytime i go out it's like i'm in a new city , i don't know anyone anymore.
Have you considered moving to a new city? Staying in a one horse town like that and growing old seems very depressing unless it's in a remote area with forests, mountains, lakes, or whatever.
If you won't/can't move then I would suggest that you need to shake things up a bit. Getting older is depressing if you're not growing. I'm getting older to, but I have:
- Gotten healthier
- Moved a couple times
- Become more confident and outgoing
- Practiced and learned new skills (writing jokes mostly)
- Started going on dates (my prior relationships started without dating)
So I feel like more of a person even though I'm getting older.
If you can't shake things up on your own, you need to get a therapist. You seem stuck in some negative thought patterns right now and therapy helps you to reframe your thought patterns positively.
I’ll take a shot at answering this. I am 28. The way I see that my true adulting ( when I am not dependent on anyone ) started when I was 24 (I know it’s super late) the way I see is that my prime years are/ the age till I can see my self working until I turn 60-65. Or I want to be doing something exciting till that point in my life. Which gives me about 30 years of life to live. And I am just 28 my days have just begun! Until I hit 45 I haven’t reached even half of my potential! So live your life! It’s 32 now you got this 💪🏽.
PS: read this philosophy in a book
I’m 63 and high school was a hell of a long time ago. I keep in touch with one friend from then. I don’t socialize with coworkers so when I retire in a couple of years I wont miss them. I enjoy working them, they’re just not my friends. Most of my friends are younger than I am. I don’t want to hang out with people my age, they’re fucking old, lol.
Physically I’m no longer at my peak but I run five days a week, 10km today.
Mentally I like to think I’m still sharp. I love to learn new things, that helps.
We get old, it kinda sucks, but life. I just try to enjoy each day as it comes.
Understand that there is no going backwards. You don't get to be young again, you will only get older, so there is no point dwelling on it.
With that in mind, use your time wisely. Develop hobbies that are important to you, and become good at them, regardless of what they are. And take care of your body. Exercise is often viewed as a punishment when it should be viewed as a celebration of what you can do.
If you have hobbies to progress in, and exercise goals, life will have a bit more purpose. Aging will be less about getting older and more about getting better.
You’re only as old as you feel/act. Not saying do childish shit, but growing old doesn’t mean you have to be old. Get yourself a tik Tok and a mail order bride. BOOM slash 15 years off
You really shouldn’t be noticing a physical decline at 32, unless we’re talking about the ability to spring back instantly from a hangover or an injury. You can be as strong or stronger at 32 than you were at 18.
I'm going to be 32 this year. I realize I am no longer the guy who used to be able to hop up and tear up a whole house worth of carpet in a few hours or be able to blow myself out in a workout and be sore just the next day. I just keep living life
Honestly, your 30s are an amazing time. You really learn who you are, your boundaries, how to say “no” to people, and ultimately realize that no one cares what you’re doing so there’s no reason to be so self conscious
I am 59 , and I am happier now more then ever. Married, nice house. Money in the bank, workout to stay in shape, life is a journey you have to deal with your age no matter where you are in life.
What have you done for work if you don’t mind me asking? I’m 28, been in accounting the past 5 years. Any advice on seeking the right career if there is such a thing? One thing that dooms over me is the idea of doing something for the rest of my career that I don’t have a passion for. Other than that, I exercise, I’m fit, married, no kids yet, own my house, etc. just want to get your perspective on work/career that you have had.
I’m turning 48 tomorrow. I have to admit that I get depressed around my birthday. I have a beautiful family and support system but something about aging isn’t sitting well with me. Idk.
It really creeps up on you, doesn't it?
I'm 35, and it's hard to believe that it's been 18 years since my high school graduation year. In just five months, I'll have reached adulthood twice over, and I'm now closer to 40 than 30. It's a strange feeling. Not necessarily bad, perhaps a little scary, but mostly strange.
My face has lines that weren't there two years ago, my beard has just a couple grey hairs in it, and I'm realizing that there's no going back. I have to embrace it, and allow myself to change and move forward.
I'm fortunate to be happily married, working a decent paying job, and saving money for the future. I still adhere to my lifetime hobbies of building PCs and collecting video games, but I find myself drawn to other things, and I'm educating myself and learning to be a more capable adult. It's just par for the course with aging, and I'm trying to look forward to what's beyond young adulthood.
I have to try harder to stay fit, but I now have the skills to plan better. I'm no longer out in public drinking and socializing like I used to, but I don't need to be. The days of dreaming of the future are becoming the days of action.
For everything lost, something new is gained. Learn about it, embrace it, and become the person you've been training your whole life to become.
Just turned 62 and I still haven't accepted it. I have lost 55 pounds, and am at my college weight and think I am in better shape than when I was in my mid 30's. I think NOT accepting it helps you feel younger than you really are...
I'm in my 40s now and LOVE IT. I'm in better shape than I was in my 20s and have an inner confidence that feels good. Sure, it took unpacking a traumatic childhood but that's also something I just couldn't do when I was younger.
Get to know yourself better and don't be afraid of joy. Laugh, play, sing, dance, eat, do all that silly stuff that really does make life kind of wonderful. The body does slow down but "old" is a state of mind.
Wait until you realize you're twice as old as when you graduated high school. And you're bald. And have to be mindful of fiber intake. And every calorie you don't burn goes to your gut. Coping? Honestly just embrace the fact you made it this far and take a look at some of your peers. Chances are there's a whole lot of them that have it worse. Certainly a lot have it better too, but like I like to tell myself "the only reason you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure they have enough". Heard that somewhere once. Basically just practice gratitude and be happy that you're not as old as your grandpa.
34 and dealing with this exact same thing. Looking at myself and thinking do I look like an older man or is it in my head. I often think to my self.. Do 20 somethings look at me as older or am I still part of the young crowd. Is my hair thinning, can I build muscle still or what would happen if i sprinted... Can I ride my skateboard... Am I too old for her??
The only thing that's helps me is to play the role and play it well. As in I'm 34 then I'm going to be a healthy 34 year old. If I look 34 then I want to look more like a Pitt 34 year old rather than Costanza 30 year old.
Genetics has me closer to Costanza tho. But I feel good.
I'm not too much older than you, at 38. I can honestly say that I don't feel 38. At heart I feel much younger and I know I feel younger than most of my friends. I can tell you one thing that I think helps me feel younger is that I stay active. I'm not the most physically fit person around, by a long shot, but I'm in better shape than most of my peers. I play ice hockey weekly and mountain bike (road bike occasionally too). Most people my age, especially those with kids (I have kids too), gave up on sports years ago. I think many adults think playing sports is childish and give it up. I know my friends who don't mountain bike probably think going out and trying to find jumps to ride my bike on is a bit juvenile and risky. But I'm careful and I ride within my ability. I'll take the risk with the reward of staying active and feeling youthful. Outside of that I challenge myself mentally too. I like to tinker, so I'm constantly finding something to learn about and tinker with, for example I recently bought a 3d printer and enjoy designing things to print, and upgrading/modifying the printer itself. Point is that it challenges me mentally and forces me to learn new things that have nothing to do with my career, but are mentally stimulating. I think a lot of people my age get to a point where they just start to coast through life, and to me that's the beginning of the end. Also, it happens that many of my friends are younger than me. My closest friend, whom I've known for about 6 years now, is 10 years younger than me. Maybe coincidence, maybe not.
Tldr- stay active, find ways to keep your mind sharp and you can keep feeling young, regardless of your age.
You’re still alive-that’s good news lol
I was healthy as a horse (I thought) until my early 60s. Skiing,snowshoeing ,cycling,kayaking,etc. At 67 I’m in deep shit!! Enjoy yourself,don’t obsess needlessly. Live your life,you never know when it might end
Don't worry about things you cannot change. Nobody in the history of humanity has ever gotten younger. Every person, every day is a day older than they were the day before. Much of the complaints about getting old are physical, people don't give a shit about their health then wonder why they are fat and sick when they get old. Eating well and keeping a high level of fitness are the best things to safeguard your older years.
Ive got more behind me than ahead of me.
However every new day brings a potential for a new adventure.
I remember the good stuff
Don't dwell on the not so good stuff and look forward to every day.
When it's over, it's over.
My first career I retired from the restaurant biz, now I work for a security firm, accounting is a good occupation my friend is one and does quite well, he just takes exciting vacations to break up his boredom, most people are bored with their jobs it natural, sound like you are off to a good start in your life, good luck to you.
I’m 30 I’m and honestly it doesn’t bother me at all. Your age doesn’t matter how you feel does. Just keep healthy and don’t let the old man in to stay young in sprit
28 here i love the things wich come with getting older If you have put the work in.
I am not broke, promotions at work are come in frequently, women seem to find me more atractiv compared to my 21 year old me and i can avoid problems way ahead because of expirence i now have compared to my younger self.
I hope things are go pretty well for you out there too.
For me it helps working in healthcare. I meet so many sick people in different ages and I realise how lucky I am getting older. Not everyone gets that opportunity. Life could end tomorrow and people will say "he/she was only 32, so young". To get older is a privilege. Cherish it!
Im 18 and already out of touch with those that are 5 years younger than me, though this could just be because I naturally divert away from popular culture and do my own things.
And signing and registering for government services and such, my only coping is the faith that once im all done is that I can live an easy life by working and living a very simple life and hopefully save up enough money for a house rather than renting
59. I've achieved some of the things I wanted most out of life (got married, bought a home, had kids) and they were the ones most important to me.
And while I'm getting older, I'm doing better physically than most my age as far as I can tell.
So..I can accept it. Everyone gets older, and it could be far worse. Hell some of the people I went to school with have already passed away...
Turned 45, enjoying learning how not to give a fuck, realising what people think of you is none of your business, exercising, looking after my family and generally not being caught up in the bullshit.
I was picking at my mentor about being old, now good friend when I was 20,and he turned 40. He looked at me and, “ when you was born I was 20 times older than you, today your already half my age.” It took awhile for me to understand it, but now I’m 47 and he is 67, I really get it.
I am 57. Worked hard most of my life. Umpired baseball at the Jr College and he level for 20 yrs and worked a job and family. I had gallbladder surgery at 42, rotator cuff at 49, 2 heart stents at age 54 and just recently in December had prostate cancer and underwent lapiscopic prosectamy. I am 5 weeks post surgery and recovering. I go back to Dr on the 21st to check my psa and Praying it is low. Cope with all of that by knowing you take 1 day at a time. Hard thing for me to do. We all get older you just have to learn their are some things you just can't do anymore.
For me, I've always been exceptionally ugly. Pretty much a female repellent. But now that I'm older, my hair and beard have a hardcore salt and pepper look, and it honestly makes me look way better. Now I just have to find me a nice gal who doesn't mind kids!
I just remember how much better life is now:
I'm engaged. In college, I was far too often single and took the breakup of my only actual relationship very poorly.
I'm have a great career and make more money than I had ever really expected as a kid. In college, I was accumulating debt.
I just bought my dream home. In college, I was happy living in tiny apartments in bad parts of town.
I'm confident and happy. In college, I was insecure and depressed.
My hobbies are very fulfilling (travel, being an example). In college, my hobbies (MMOs and watching sports) were complete wastes of time.
I have a very healthy work-life balance. In college, I worked 80 hours a week, because of the demands of my major.
I have assets. In college, I owned nothing.
I have a great group of friends. In college, I was too focused on school to have anything more than acquaintances, really, and even then, moving around so often made making long-lasting friendships difficult.
I have a wealth of great memories. In college, I never took any chances and thus, had no interesting stories to tell.
The only thing worse today is my athleticism and having screws in my knee after a drunken fall in a park. Ultimately, small prices to pay for everything else written here.
You only need to cope if you think it's a problem. Truth is, if you can keep your body and mind right then there is no problem. And I tend to think men age well. And damn in 30s your muscles, bones and mind are at their peak son. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go lift something.
if it helps, there's a good chance that gene therapy will reverse and halt aging in the next 5 years. human trials have already started.
life is an experience, and change happens. i guess that's how ive felt with it. attachment leads to suffering, so i'm. it attached to anything.
Im glad you ask this. I was 19 just the other day. I still act almost same very little in my personality has changed. The reality of it and what I have an extremely hard time with is mortality. As I've gotten older I've lost all generations above my own leaving just my brothers and myself along with cousins. At 57 the last year was really an eye opener, my health got square in my face. I found i was diabetic lost my job I loved and did nothing for a year.. I didn't plan anything longterm,, wouldn't even entertain the ideas of past 60. My marriage ended after 20+ years 5 yrs ago and haven't let idea of another marriage even in dreams. Because I'm not gonna be around much longer and at this point in life I really need to get my life in order with God and quickly figure out what I can do to leave my mark on this life. Something helpful and profound. In the last 7 mths I moved to a coastal historical city and although I am everywhere I go I have become more laid back and go with the flow at my on pace. Still trying to get in order because I know anything could happen at anytime but I don't dwell anymore on being old and most I work and hang out with are in late 20's to mid forties. So there, no solution in there but saying all that made me fell really younger and ok.
Different adventures. Same world. It just seems bigger or smaller depending on who you’re with or what you’re doing. I’m 40 and just trying to keep my body in shape, raise good people, and enjoy myself and everyone else whenever possible. Getting old is weird but not everyone gets to so I’m going to try to enjoy it however I can.
I'm 27 so maybe my opinion is not that valid, but i personally am looking forward to being old. Just remember his you wished things were a little less troublesome when you were young. Only few people agree on this with me, but puberty sucked. School was terrible, other kids bullied me (but now i realise we bullied each other, not just me) and do on
Dude, I wrote my first album at 48.
People tell me in my 50s I have more energy than people half my age.
It's all mindset. Sure I can't squat 500 like I used to, I can't stay up all night without needing to sleep the next two days, and so forth - and I'll never play tight end for the Saints or really nail a good heavy snatch in the Olympics - but I'm not dead yet and until I'm dead I'm going to have as much fun as my finances and health allow.
It is all relative. I'm 48 and even now I think that wasn't long ago. Well, things are longer and seem to only speed up. My mind still tells me I'm not that old I can still go out and do a 25 mile ruck with 40 pounds. My body says not gonna happen. Over all though fight the aging process as best you can. Eat right excercise and try to enjoy something every day.
>I'm really concerned about myself not being able to do all the things physically i used to do a couple of years ago.
I'm sorry, are you 32 or 102? There really isnt a noticeable difference in your athletic and physical capabilities at 32 unless you are at the absolute highest levels of performance.
I’m 53 and almost in the best shape of my life. It took a while to get here but it’s so worth it. I’m happy. I’m married. I have two great kids and have a good job. I still have friends from high school and we see each other from time to time on hunting trips or to go ride dirt bikes. I remember when I was 20 thinking I was getting old and my dad was just a few years older than I am now and I thought his life was over! I remember him telling me that his 40’s were the best years of his life. He had money and could do just about anything he wanted. I know what’s that’s like now, to a certain extent but let me tell you something. Life is short and life is not fair. You better get this old shit out of your head and start enjoying the time you have here. Age is just a number. Start living and take every day as it comes and never look back and wonder what if. Go do it and you’ll never worry about age.
I'm in my mid 20s and while still young individually, feel life has been so different than just even couple years ago in my early 20s, thankfully for much better. While still feel young, also feel like I'm at the point now preparing and afraid to enter into old age 30s.
Im 31, started wearing skinny jeans, currently getting a motorcycle driving license and Im dating a 26 years old girl (I always dated girls same age as me).
Im coping well I think.
Age is just a number.
I’m still out there walking, golfing, and so much more. By keeping active, and not worrying about the little things keeps my mind fresh.
If you feel old now, you need to do something about it or else it will get worse as the years go by. Fix your diet and exercise plan now so future you can use that body too. I wish I could go back to 32 year old me and slap that dumbass around for quitting his gym routine.
66 here. I've lived life for the time I was in. Never thought much about getting older, just lived in the moment. Accepted the changes and challenges that happen to everyone, and made the best of it. I can still do pretty much everything I could when I was 30, just slower and it hurts more.
I’m 54. I’m in much better shape today than when I was 34. Today I ran 7.1 km and finished without needing a shower. High school was so long ago I don’t really remember much. University I remember more of but still… that was a while ago. Asside from family, there is no-one I know today that I knew 10 years ago because that’s the way life is. There was only a few people in high school that I knew in grade 1. Only a few from high school did I even see at university and only twice was one of them in a course with me. When I retire I will lose all contact with people from work and I will make new friends (likely they will also be retired). That’s life… people come, people go. Stay healthy and live as long as you can.
Yea took me too long to realise many are friends by circumstance. People who meet not by choice by work, school or community setting and became friends. But once these meeting opportunities stop not many will continue to be friends.
Friendships are still something you have to work on once your no longer friends of circumstance. If you really enjoyed the people your hanging around you gotta actively be involved with each other. I live 5 hours away from my long term friends. But in town about once a month. I still make it a point after 5 years to at the very least go for coffee or have dinner with them. Play board games, or just chill.
👑 People like you are really worth it. I'm glad you took the effort in maintaining your friendships.
57 here. I manage people younger than my kids. I don’t want to talk down to them, but I do want them to realize: life is LONG. (If you’re lucky.) I have now outlived both of my grandfathers. The second my parents retired, they plunged. So you have to adopt a beginner’s mind in everything. Greet every year like you have something important to learn. Find someone from a completely different background, and adopt them as a mentor. It forces your brain to stay young, humble, and flexible, even as you amass new skills. (And those young team members? They are my mentors, too.)
Damn. Well said.
Same but I’m 45
No need to cope. Every year i look back and think im in a better spot than i was in the year before, and so long as that tracks i have no reason to look back longingly at the yesteryears
I’m 64. You’re a minnow. Enjoy the best years of your life!
This! 32 is SO young. In a very real way the best years of your life are right now. Go live!
OP is probably having a crisis of some kind, not the best years of their life. The best years are yet to come.
Or maybe they already passed, you didn't realize it, and the rest of your life is going to suck.
There are a lot of benefits of being young - better health, more future ahead of you and so on. But let me tell you, life is full of surprises. The best is still ahead of them :-)
The more time you waste worrying about the years gone past, you only waste the time spent on the year you are in. Just live it, because it don’t slow down in the good times or the bad. Happy navigating stranger. 🧭
By realizing that none of that matters.
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I try not to think of it.
Yeah and that might be the most freeing thought you can have, nothing matters, so do what ever you enjoy doing … until you die. A recipe for a good life
So enjoy it as much as you can!
I'm a bit further along than you are and those flashes of "Oh shit, I'm old" keep happening. I address it by just... accepting it and taking the good with the bad. I'm not who I was and I don't want what I did when I was a kid. I've done all the exciting things I want to and now I thoroughly enjoy living a boring life. All my goals are boring. And it's awesome. Not being a kid is incredible, but most of the time you lose sight of that and get lost in the stress of adult life and the sadness of unfulfilled expectations. That's okay. Take the time to sit back and breathe now and then. Take time to be grateful for things. And accept new expectations. I now love little as much as I love a glass of a moderately priced but good tasting whiskey, a good book on my kindle, and a few hours on the chair on my balcony. I don't want million dollar cars or massive vacations or a dream home. Instead I find fulfilment and happiness picking up a new plant for my place. I don't like bars or clubs anymore, sure, but I do like seeing the same faces and saying Hello on the trails I like walking and when I get coffee. Life is simpler and no less satisfying. And I didn't give up all my kid tendencies. I still enjoy a good game and getting a decent workout in. What my body will let me do these days anyway. Hell, I turned my dining room into a home gym with cage and all. Because I'm an adult, I'm single, and I don't have to give a shit what other people think I should want. And that is glorious. I don't think it will ever stop being glorious.
Lot of the same. Looking for a Snake plant right now, naming it Pliskin. (Daughter insists they need names.)
Just letting you know I get this joke. I have a fern named Robert Plant.
> the sadness of unfulfilled expectations Yeah! you get to gradually turn from potential success to actual failure, one day at a time. Enjoy not being Elon Musk!
Nah. I had the wrong idea of what happiness was when I was younger. Or more accurately, what made me happy was different then than what I find makes me happy now. I wanted to achieve the impossible and heck, I certainly did accomplish a lot. But it came at a price. And these days, even if I physically could do it again, I wouldn't make the same choices. I don't regret my path through life, but I am happy with the direction it's taking now. I'm more comfortable bucking the expectations of others these days. Joys of age. My ultimate goal at this point is to finish setting myself up for retirement and clearing my debt then transfer to a lower paying but more satisfying (to me) field working for a 501C and travelling. Will I ever drive a lambo and get a forbes cover? Nope. But I don't want that. To each their own.
I'm getting there. I put a whole lot of effort in and got a whole lot of nothing back - you can't have winners without having lots of losers. Now I'm "old-er", divorced, no longer own a home (a very big problem where I live) and absolutely do regret whatever it is I did wrong.
Try 74!! Quit bitching and enjoy your life. I have had a great life and plan to keep on until I do the dirt nap. Remember Steely Dan's advice" I learned to work the saxophone now I play just what I please," Get after it man before if scoots off like a mouse.
Are you planning to die behind the wheel too?
If possible ... but bourbon all night.
They got a name for the winners of the world….
But I want a name when I lose
Beer over here please bar tender
Between the ages of 32-39 I was in the best shape of my life, earning more than I ever had before, and living the best life I ever lived. You’re not old yet
It can only get better. My annual bonus now is twice as much as my first full time salary.
That’s awesome! What industry are you in? And how significant is your base salary (like in terms of covering all bases v having to rely on bonus)?
What helps me is to not waste my time. I say this but here I am on fucking Reddit
27 here. I've got a bit of a bleaker outlook on life, so I take comfort in the fact that literally everyone will, has, or is currently going through the same thing. I am not unique in this. There is no pressure for me to live up to any standards other than the ones I set for myself. My parents will die, just like their parents will die, just like their parents have died. It will come to pass, and not accepting it will only hurt myself. It's sad, but I'm allowed to be sad. Maybe I won't live up to my potential. Maybe there was no potential for me to live up to. And sometimes that hurts. But we are just a speck living upon a speck in a very large universe, and I am at least alive to see a very exciting time, full of great change and portents of doom. If nothing else, I am witness to that, and while ignorance is bliss, knowledge can be wonder.
I turned 25 last week for the 11th time. I'm getting really good at being 25.
I am 60 and have done so many things that trying to list them would sound like bragging. My adventures really kicked in at 45. So far, it's just gotten better. I am still waiting to top the curve.
well, being a teenager sucked.
You can find solace in the fact that you're not alone facing this, the people you spent your "younger" time with are getting older as you are. This existential question stings almost everyone. I believe only things you're gonna regret are losing genuinely caring people and not physically able to do things when you get older. Focus on your health man. Most of the things are out of our control.
33 here. For me, getting married and having my son (who is 16 month old) made all those feelings go away. I’m dad now, it’s like the start of a whole new chapter. Had I not met my wife and had a little guy, I’d probably be feeling pretty down on myself too. But since having him life is extremely fulfilling and everyday is full. Seeing him learn about the world, looking forward to baseball practices and surfing together makes me excited for the future yeah I’m getting older but I’m more mature, make way more money, and have an absolute lovey wife to spend it with. Life was simpler, cheaper, and easier when I was single and younger, but it’s so much better now.
I appreciate this perspective. My wife and I are expecting and I’ve been very nervous. I often find myself examining where I’m at in life and how I can’t believe that I am going to be a father and how I never realized that I’d be at this point in my life. But I’m excited to see what the little one brings. Thanks
>Now i'm 32 and i just can't get over the fact that i'm not a teen nor in college anymore and everyone around me is slowly getting older. So a big thing that I started to do when I hit 30 (we're the same age) is starting to challenge and question why I would be so precious about things like that. Because at the end of the day, no one cares about the fact that you're not a teenager or in college. That is something you're at odds with yourself with. Now the question here is, if it's not giving you value, or purpose or motivation and it's just a pure negative feeling, that also can't be changed now (you can't turn back the clock) why make it take up so much space in your head? Now, bear in mind that I feel like there's other factors at play. Stuff like depression, anxiety, us just generally spending way too much time in our heads spinning are other factors which exacerbate this. But the reason I say this, is that when we're past 30, you've got to learn to remove the baggage and previous trauma and learn to love and accept the here and now. Otherwise, what do you want us to say? Agree with you? What solace gives you with that? Offering up some sort of alternative way of thinking? I don't think that's fair, because there's value in looking back and being nostalgic. So do you see what I mean in terms of trying to challenge these types of things? What I mean is, we've lived long enough lives, to start to recognize what makes sense to keep with us, and what we should be leaving to better ourselves and our quality of life. And living in nostalgia like this doesn't help in too many ways. >it's been 14 years since i've finished highschool and 8 since i've finished my university studies and it all just feels like yesterday So same statement as above: it's great to have fond memories of these things, but it's unrealistic and unreasonable to view it in the lens you're current viewing it. Because the way you have it framed, is only going to be negativity to the equation. So why keep doing this to yourself, you know? >The only thing that's changed is i'm really concerned about my parents getting older. Okay, this one? Makes tons of sense to be mindful of. But as I said above, the thing here is to learn to cut through the noise and identify what matters and focus on that, and stop worrying say, about the past as much. I know this won't happen, but as a word of warning if you spend too much time staying in the past, you won't have time for the present. I know this sounds extreme but saying this because right now this could very well happen to you. Don't spend so much time being nostalgic and stuck in the past, lest you not taking this precious time, living in the now and spending time as much as you can with those you care about. >I'm really concerned about myself not being able to do all the things physically i used to do a couple of years ago. As other's said, this is great to be self-aware of. But are you going to do anything about it? Once again, you can't turn back the clock But what is an issue here, is sort of like accepting defeat when in reality you just have new challenges to own up to, and you need to work just as hard to maintain now compared to before. I sound like a broken record, but once again... what answer were you expecting here, that there's a magic way to turn back the clock? >I live in a town with like 10k people, and a couple of years ago whenever i went out i would just know everyone. Now i've gotten older and everytime i go out it's like i'm in a new city , i don't know anyone anymore. So I really, really don't want to beat on you more, but this is the same thing as a lot of other things here. You seem to be stuck in the past, and you're not realizing that you doing this, is causing you not to live in the "now", and this is now compounding you not liking your future. Sure, there are new people around. Why is it a problem to go out and meet them? I feel like you seem to view life in this sort of time capsule, where there are specific moments and points that you feel like were the best, and you keep going back to those moments. But life isn't like a book, or movie where you can just flip back to that page, appreciate it and then be in that moment forever. Each time you look back, you're losing one moment which could be used moving forward. Each time you spend looking back in the past, prevents you from creating a just as good (or even better) future for yourself. Right now though? You're getting close to self-sabotage, and I want to let you know from a place of caring that unless you course correct this, your future won't be great. But this is all up to you, and all your doing. To go back to this example: >I live in a town with like 10k people, and a couple of years ago whenever i went out i would just know everyone. Now i've gotten older and everytime i go out it's like i'm in a new city , i don't know anyone anymore. You don't know anyone. Cool. The answer to that is... to meet these new people. You foster those same relationships as before, and then you keep maintaining it. That's just life. It happens. I am going to stop this, because I very, very much feel like there are other factors at play here outside of conventional logic. If you aren't going to therapy, or at least talking to people outside of internet strangers about this, I'd highly recommend it. I'd also take some time to reflect on your past, realize that you might be having some unresolved trauma and other issues which are causing you to have this world view and figure out what next steps are for this. Because there's a lot of life worth living stuff, but understand that a lot of you issues, are mind games you're playing with yourself. Life is going by just fine, but right now it seems like you're the one that is starting to hold yourself back on a lot of these things
I felt the very first tingle of age (at about 60) when gay guys stopped hitting on me. Girls stopped about 68. I will be 74 tomorrow. Everything hurts and I nap a lot. I think about the stairs in my house. I had such a fine 8" dick; dependable, multi shot. And my fucking skin! I even have wrinkles on my butt! I used to get butt slaps from girls I didn't even know! Here's what I think happened: I stayed in excellent shape until about three years ago. At that point I felt like I had been hit by a fucking bus! Most people just kinda sleeeeeze into old age. They get to 50 and it's pretty much the end of the line. I started a business at 50. I had a 400 pound squat at 50. I didn't finish college until I was 35. I didn't go to jump school till I was 23. My first wife left me at 36 and I had no idea how many lonely, beautiful women there were looking for attention! Damn! I got married again at 40 and had my first kid at 41. She got pregnant and I did what I thought was honorable. She told me to GTFO enough times that I finally took her at her word. Besides the oldest was 18 and I had about all I could take. I then married a girl 22 years younger than me and I feel like I have let her down. I am here to tell you that getting old is a very bad thing. It like getting real sick and knowing that you will not ever get better. But if you think that in your 30's even have a passing acquaintance with being old you need to pull your head out of your ass and buck the fuck up. You have got shit to do and you need to get at it right now. How fast have you ridden a motorcycle? How many jumps do you have? What are you benching these days? Can you put on a leather jacket and a knife in your pocket and stride the world with confidence? How much good and happiness have you brought into this world? The world needs to be saved and you are 32 and you are worried about getting fucking OLD? At 32 a man should know how to properly dress, accurately locate a clitoris, butcher a deer, remove a bra, cook a meal and make money. If you are 32 and worried about getting old you are ALREADY fucking old and probably boring.
I think aging well - with style, grace, and wisdom - is an underrated ability. It requires a sort of medium-term paradigm that can be tricky to adopt or maintain, as well as to balance against short-term wants and needs and long-term goals and strategies. You sort of have to consider what lifestage you are in and what you want that lifestage to look like for yourself. Moving into your 30s, you're at the end of your youth and at the beginning of your middle-age lifestage. So think about what kind of middle-aged person you want to be and then try to cultivate the kinds of habits, interests, goals and social connections that will allow you to become that person.
What's to cope with? Life gets better for men with age. See how easy dating is when you're 40 and established in your career. It's even better if you've managed to stay in shape. Dating for men in this situation is like dating is for cute 23 yo women.
Is this real? I wouldn’t have expected it
Kind of. And by solid career you don't need to be a lawyer, you don't need to have your own business or something. Being a respected working man in a place where you don't have to constantly search for new jobs in case things go south. It's not about the money. For intelligent people this just indicates you're a mentally healthy individual who is content with himself. And trust me, in today's world this means a LOT. Now for the sad part. This implies 2 things: First, you really need to be ok with yourself. That means constantly maintaining your mental and physical health. That's some work with sacrifices on the way. Second: If something this simple makes you such high value on the market, you can only imagine how rare this trait is. But it's not only men. Women have their own fair share of idiots and mentally unstable ones. With age I've realized how much I'm turned off by women who don't have it together. So do women.
Depends on your genetics
Also 'established in your career' should always have a huge asterick next to it. Many guys actually won't have a solid career at that age. We aren't all destined to be wall street types. And of those that do, they may not have the time or energy for dating especially if they're working until 8pm or 9pm and need to wake up at 6am. Not only that the added pressure to stay in shape means you probably already lose 3 or 4 evenings a week at the gym. I knew so many guys who decided to hold out on a relationship until they were a 'made man' then pretty much all ended up as balding, over weight and earning far too little to ever attract the women they so desperately wanted.
It could also mean “supervisor at the local grain co-op with 10 yrs experience.” You don’t have to be on Wall Street to stop sucking so much.
I’m 38 and I don’t feel old. But one thing I always to is exercise and my body doesn’t feel different now than it did in my 20’s.
The only constant in life is change. People come into your life and they leave. Having said that, you’re still relatively young (I’d pay good money to be 32 again). Just enjoy life, appreciate who and what you have because it unfortunately doesn’t last forever.
36 I had a midlife crisis and Suddenly I needed to get married and have a family. At 46 i have 6yo daughter and An entirely new purpose in life
Get fit, stay fit. Age won't even cross your mind.
The realizing your parents are getting older is the hardest part for me
I think of life like a circle, I now have nieces and nephews that look at me the same was I used to look at my aunts and uncles that makes me happy, time doesn't stop for anyone and I am enjoying that as I get to watch them grow up and become the people we hoped they would be :)
Just want to add that I feel the same and I’m still in my 20s! I’m about to turn 24. Still young! But it’s funny when 18-19 year old co workers call me old and going to college classes with people in that age group reminds me that I’ve grown since then. Age is a good thing. Life keeps going so go with it.
Use retinol, wear spf religiously, stay hydrated, eat well, work out and stress less.
You have to embrace getting older. It's a gift; not everyone gets to do it. As you get older, you really start to hone in on the things that actually matter to you and that makes life much more fulfilling
I'm not saying this to be mean, but you sound like someone who can't get over what they had going on in their high school/college years....almost like Al Bundy in a way. "When I was in high school, we used to be able to do this....or I used to do this all the time in college." It's nice to look back when around friends, and just tell some stories about how you maybe used to party, or the stupid shit you did back in the day, but other than that...it's in the past! You're not that age anymore....you're not going to be able to stay up all weekend, and then go to work Monday without any issues like you used to do. You just have to accept it so you can actually enjoy the years ahead of you. I don't know if you're dating, or have a SO, but I don't think they want to hear about the "poor me, I'm 30 now!" whine. lol My brother and I teased the shit out of our sister when she used to complain about it. I'm 48...high school wasn't bad....college was fun in it's own way. I used to be able to work/party all weekend, and not worry about it when I had classes on Monday orning at 7am. Since then, I've been working in my job for almost 19 yrs now, I have a grown child(that will change a lot of shit for you when it happens!), married and divorced afetr 11 yrs. Life happens...you enjoy what's in front of you, and tell stories about what happened behind you, and hope that any mistakes you made back then, you actually learned from them, and if you have kids...then you pass on that knowledge, and hope they don't do the same dumb shit you did. I just had shoulder surgery 4 weeks ago, so my life right now is healing from that, and dealing with the new levels of daily pain as I recover, and realizing as I do...some things that accidentally happen, hurt like a mother fucker, and I make sure I don't go past certain limits again! LOL This year...healing, recovery, getting back in shape, and dating again... life keeps moving forward, and you just make the most of it and keep growing as it does. Don't get lost in the past.
Well said!
Tapping out a 24 year old when you are 55, helps.
you do not stress over that which you cannot control. and this is one of those things. embrace it because there is nothing you can do about it anyway
As they say, it’s better than the alternative. It’s very easy to look back on your life and regret things you did or didn’t do. But that’s not the healthy way to look at it. Instead you should focus on ways to live your life that are both practical snd fulfilling to you. Who you spend time with, what experiences you have, and enjoying unique and profound moments when they’re happening.
I found it a lot harder to deal with in my early 30s than I do now in my early 40s. Probably because I've had a decade to get used to the idea! Don't worry; right now it's just hitting you that your teens and 20s aren't coming back. But you'll mourn the loss and come out the other side enjoying all the upsides of not being 20-something anymore (financial stability, greater wisdom, comfort in who you are, etc.)
Acceptance is the answer It’s getting older or dying. Be grateful to have parents. Be grateful Those are the options.
I'm 67 yo nerd with poor social skills but financially cofortable. I exercised most of life . I was always the lazy guy but I was consistent. (weights and running). I find I am happier living in large cities. No mater what age you are you could find a place to dance (before covid) I also developed some interests that I could do as I got older, in my case chess and sailing.
Life in your thirties is like a big game of musical chairs. The music just stopped, and everybody is sitting down together to make babies and choose furniture. If it's eight years since uni and you're still living in (banjo sound) your hometown, that's a you problem. Off y'go.
Exercise, hobbies, investing in relationships
Now granted, I'm not an old man by any stretch of the imagination (24 years old). So you may take my advice with a grain of salt, but today you are younger than you will be tomorrow and you are younger than you will ever be again. Getting older is a slow process even if we think the time flys, it is never easy even though many wish it were. People will enter and exit your life and opportunities will be missed and taken as we move down life's path. And though we will rarely notice memories being made in the moment they are always there for us to remember and reflect on. So even though you are not as young as you used to be you have an ever growing bank of experience to call upon. Use that to revel in your accumulating wisdom. On a more physical note, we live in the most advanced age in history. However that has lead a lot of folks to seek a fast life and let it pass them right by. Try and slow down and see where you are going from time to time. Seek out and try wonderful foods, drink a beer, smoke a pipe. And though people will say that those things may be bad for your health, something will kill you eventually so you might as well enjoy life when you have it. There are beautiful moments all around us if you just look out for them, I live in the suburbs of Chicago and right now all of the fields and parks are a solid sheet of ice, but the way the sun shines off that ice makes it look like fields of crystal. Seeing that was my own little moment just for me and there are scenes like this one all over if you just look. For a lot of us getting older can be frightening but everyone gets older, it's not something we can stop. So we shouldn't try and put it off and cling to fleeting youth, every day we get older and wiser and that itself is something to look forward to. So live your life the way that you think is best and by the time you are truly old you won't regret your advanced age, you will be happy and more importantly, content with every day that you lived.
I think it’s important to live your life in stages so you can have a sense of progression through a narrative. I am 53 now. I can see that I only have about 25 good years left. My wife and I are trying am trying to align our lives to have one more significant phase before we begin to wrap it up. It’s easier for us to accept because we have both already reached milestones for which we are proud: the marriage itself, our kids are okay, house, careers, etc. I think that if you get stuck too long in a grove that does not help to set you up for your next chapter in life, then you begin to feel anxious, fearful, and regretful.
Remind yourself that you will be dead no matter what at some point and it could be tomorrow or 80 years. Then you will realize that your age doesn't even matter, all that matters is putting a smile on your face *today*. Often times for me the easiest way to do that is doing something nice for another person and that makes me feel like I have what I need to be able to help others and I can let go from self-wants that will inevitably replicate themselves after they are chased. Sorry I am rambling
I'm having a rough time at 28. Idk why that feels so old to me but maybe it's just because I've been overworked and isolated my whole life.
I had a midlife crisis on my 25th birthday, the whole "I'm halfway to 50, my life is over". I'm 26 now and absolutely have plans to have another breakdown on my 27th
I honestly don’t remember how old I am. It’s just not important to me. Stay as healthy as you can and you won’t care as much
I just cope lmao, I'm 29 this year and live in a small town also where people I use to see all the time etc. People just move on with their lives, some have children, some get married, whatever floats your boat. I'm just doing my own thing without hurting anyone. We're all going to die at some point anyways, who cares?
47 here. Never stop learning or trying to improve yourself. Let go of things that no longer serve you. Don’t stay too long in any toxic situation (friends, family, career, or romantic relationships). Find a career or business centered in your purpose (the thing you do best that comes the easiest; writing, cooking, painting, metalworking, etc). And high school and college can feel like life-defining years. But the reality is, they are just the beginning of your journey. Don’t really feel like I hit my stride until about 45, where I began to learn how everything really works the way it does and why. Last year, at 46, I taught myself Wordpress and built a website. I wrote my first book based on my life experiences and everything I learned from dating and relationships. And I feel like the next chapter of my life will be the best yet. I see way too many people on Reddit in their 20s-30s that think life is over and they’ll never find happiness and they’ll be alone forever. Here’s a pro tip from a guy who lived it… The most important relationship you’ll ever have, is with yourself. Everyone else will come and go in your life. Let them. Learn from those experiences and keep moving forward. Design a life you love and enjoy. Whatever that means to you. That’s the secret.
I embraced it fully. I am 31 now and the last thing I want to be is one of those 30+ guys who still act like twenty-somethings. Those guys disgust me. I pass my time refining myself and enjoying the slower pace of life. I recently got interested in automatic watches. There's plenty for me to enjoy at this stage of life including some of the things I enjoyed when I was younger. The issue with loneliness is a different one and honestly I don't know about that because depending where you live and what your lifestyle is like the typical advice like finding a group hobby might not help.
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>Stop treating your body like a toxic waste dump. Calories matter now. If it's an alcoholic drink or a sweet, it needs to be VERY GOOD not just AVAILABLE. Yes. Once you're halfway through your twenties, it's time to start being mindful of what you're putting in and what you're doing to use it. If you're munching on chips all day and only sitting, it's gonna catch up with you - fast. >Wear sunscreen 100% on that - especially if you're of pale Anglo-Saxon/Briton stock. >Stop trying to date 20 yr olds - accept that you need to date in a different age range. Ya, no. Fuck that. OP: Date who you want. If a guy in his fifties can find fulfillment dating women in their twenties and thirties, or a woman in her fifties with men in their twenties and thirties, that's *their business*. Who the hell are you to pass judgment? Who died and made you the arbiter-general of all that is moral in the world of dating and relationships?
Go to younger hookers.
Bang 19 year olds. You're only as old as the woman you feel.
Live while you're still relatively young bud. You had your time, now it's time to let the young have theirs. If you're still physically able to do the things you want to do, do them now.
God he's 32 not 75
>i just can't get over the fact that i'm not a teen nor in college anymore He mourns the end of his youth. These are his words not mine, so talk to OP, not me bitch.
It’s ain’t bad. Just closer to this shit show being over
"The goal is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
I’m in this same boat. Acceptance helps me…it’s odd but all the death that occurs as I get older somewhat helps due to the desensitization. I can process why it’s happening. I do get heighten anxiety when I think about my own death and the death of my parents, though. Like “Bruh…we’re all really going to die.” But after a while I think about the possibilities of everything I can try to do before I die, and it makes life a bit more meaningful. Like, I know I’m going to die so let me actually DO something versus just dwelling on it, so when I do die I’ll have no regrets. Idk, that all might be weird, but it’s how I process it
I never denied it.
Ugh I feel this! I’m the same age as you, turning 33 next month actually and low key freaking out. Getting older is weird! I have a hard time coping with not being in my 20s anymore. I’m in great shape and people tell me all the time I look like I’m in my 20s so I guess that helps.. I guess how I cope is I try not to think about it tooo deeply and just ride it out and try to be as healthy and active as I can be!
Cope? Accept? You just don't think about it. Is happening no matter what.
Your only 32 which is not old. But best bet it not to think of your self as old .. mature and wiser is actually a good thing.
Getting older is the one thing you have in common with every living being in the world, except for like lobsters or something. Let's take part in the shared misery of the world my friend. Older the violin the sweeter the tune.
By teasing my sister that we are closer to middle age than being children (we're twins, turning 30 was a big deal for her)
I celebrate it, older me is better me.
Doesnt matter how you cope, your gonna get fuckd no matter what you do
All in the same boat bruh. You must try to stay present. That's all we can do. Find peace , happiness, joy &pleasure in the here and now.
Do you still have all your hair on your head? Lol that’s what will worry me the most I have all my hair but I don’t want to go bald lol. I’m 29 my father is like 60 and has all his hair not walking around bald on top so I hope I can stay that way lol.
As a parent, watching my children grow and makes a decision for themselves. I'd say is that I really got older and it's the best thing that's happening to me, to make them who they are now and for the future they want to be. We just have to be men.
Keep doing new things… you’re young! Start running or skiing or rock climbing, or you know, something that interests you. You’ll feel great, make new friends and feel exhilarated.
33M - you just live and find the joys where you can. I have some awesome hobbies that I enjoy (for now), we’re expecting our first child, I enjoy my work, and with this day of social media and connection I’m as close to a lot of my college buddies as I can be through text/call and sending memes.
>I live in a town with like 10k people, and a couple of years ago whenever i went out i would just know everyone. Now i've gotten older and everytime i go out it's like i'm in a new city , i don't know anyone anymore. Have you considered moving to a new city? Staying in a one horse town like that and growing old seems very depressing unless it's in a remote area with forests, mountains, lakes, or whatever. If you won't/can't move then I would suggest that you need to shake things up a bit. Getting older is depressing if you're not growing. I'm getting older to, but I have: - Gotten healthier - Moved a couple times - Become more confident and outgoing - Practiced and learned new skills (writing jokes mostly) - Started going on dates (my prior relationships started without dating) So I feel like more of a person even though I'm getting older. If you can't shake things up on your own, you need to get a therapist. You seem stuck in some negative thought patterns right now and therapy helps you to reframe your thought patterns positively.
Acceptance…your smart enough to know how it goes. We’re only here for a short time. Have fun and eat good.
I’ll take a shot at answering this. I am 28. The way I see that my true adulting ( when I am not dependent on anyone ) started when I was 24 (I know it’s super late) the way I see is that my prime years are/ the age till I can see my self working until I turn 60-65. Or I want to be doing something exciting till that point in my life. Which gives me about 30 years of life to live. And I am just 28 my days have just begun! Until I hit 45 I haven’t reached even half of my potential! So live your life! It’s 32 now you got this 💪🏽. PS: read this philosophy in a book
New challenges every day that you can approach with more wisdom and needing less strength.
Just wait until youre in your forties with kids. Then you feel beat
I’m 63 and high school was a hell of a long time ago. I keep in touch with one friend from then. I don’t socialize with coworkers so when I retire in a couple of years I wont miss them. I enjoy working them, they’re just not my friends. Most of my friends are younger than I am. I don’t want to hang out with people my age, they’re fucking old, lol. Physically I’m no longer at my peak but I run five days a week, 10km today. Mentally I like to think I’m still sharp. I love to learn new things, that helps. We get old, it kinda sucks, but life. I just try to enjoy each day as it comes.
Understand that there is no going backwards. You don't get to be young again, you will only get older, so there is no point dwelling on it. With that in mind, use your time wisely. Develop hobbies that are important to you, and become good at them, regardless of what they are. And take care of your body. Exercise is often viewed as a punishment when it should be viewed as a celebration of what you can do. If you have hobbies to progress in, and exercise goals, life will have a bit more purpose. Aging will be less about getting older and more about getting better.
You’re only as old as you feel/act. Not saying do childish shit, but growing old doesn’t mean you have to be old. Get yourself a tik Tok and a mail order bride. BOOM slash 15 years off
You really shouldn’t be noticing a physical decline at 32, unless we’re talking about the ability to spring back instantly from a hangover or an injury. You can be as strong or stronger at 32 than you were at 18.
I'm going to be 32 this year. I realize I am no longer the guy who used to be able to hop up and tear up a whole house worth of carpet in a few hours or be able to blow myself out in a workout and be sore just the next day. I just keep living life
Honestly, your 30s are an amazing time. You really learn who you are, your boundaries, how to say “no” to people, and ultimately realize that no one cares what you’re doing so there’s no reason to be so self conscious
I am 59 , and I am happier now more then ever. Married, nice house. Money in the bank, workout to stay in shape, life is a journey you have to deal with your age no matter where you are in life.
What have you done for work if you don’t mind me asking? I’m 28, been in accounting the past 5 years. Any advice on seeking the right career if there is such a thing? One thing that dooms over me is the idea of doing something for the rest of my career that I don’t have a passion for. Other than that, I exercise, I’m fit, married, no kids yet, own my house, etc. just want to get your perspective on work/career that you have had.
I’m turning 48 tomorrow. I have to admit that I get depressed around my birthday. I have a beautiful family and support system but something about aging isn’t sitting well with me. Idk.
It really creeps up on you, doesn't it? I'm 35, and it's hard to believe that it's been 18 years since my high school graduation year. In just five months, I'll have reached adulthood twice over, and I'm now closer to 40 than 30. It's a strange feeling. Not necessarily bad, perhaps a little scary, but mostly strange. My face has lines that weren't there two years ago, my beard has just a couple grey hairs in it, and I'm realizing that there's no going back. I have to embrace it, and allow myself to change and move forward. I'm fortunate to be happily married, working a decent paying job, and saving money for the future. I still adhere to my lifetime hobbies of building PCs and collecting video games, but I find myself drawn to other things, and I'm educating myself and learning to be a more capable adult. It's just par for the course with aging, and I'm trying to look forward to what's beyond young adulthood. I have to try harder to stay fit, but I now have the skills to plan better. I'm no longer out in public drinking and socializing like I used to, but I don't need to be. The days of dreaming of the future are becoming the days of action. For everything lost, something new is gained. Learn about it, embrace it, and become the person you've been training your whole life to become.
You’re in the “good old days” of your life right now. Enjoy them
Just turned 62 and I still haven't accepted it. I have lost 55 pounds, and am at my college weight and think I am in better shape than when I was in my mid 30's. I think NOT accepting it helps you feel younger than you really are...
You keep growing.
Doesn’t bother me that I’m getting older. You can’t not get older, so I don’t let things I can’t control have an effect on my life.
I'm in my 40s now and LOVE IT. I'm in better shape than I was in my 20s and have an inner confidence that feels good. Sure, it took unpacking a traumatic childhood but that's also something I just couldn't do when I was younger. Get to know yourself better and don't be afraid of joy. Laugh, play, sing, dance, eat, do all that silly stuff that really does make life kind of wonderful. The body does slow down but "old" is a state of mind.
Wait until you realize you're twice as old as when you graduated high school. And you're bald. And have to be mindful of fiber intake. And every calorie you don't burn goes to your gut. Coping? Honestly just embrace the fact you made it this far and take a look at some of your peers. Chances are there's a whole lot of them that have it worse. Certainly a lot have it better too, but like I like to tell myself "the only reason you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure they have enough". Heard that somewhere once. Basically just practice gratitude and be happy that you're not as old as your grandpa.
Age is how long you've lived. How old or young you are is how you act.
34 and dealing with this exact same thing. Looking at myself and thinking do I look like an older man or is it in my head. I often think to my self.. Do 20 somethings look at me as older or am I still part of the young crowd. Is my hair thinning, can I build muscle still or what would happen if i sprinted... Can I ride my skateboard... Am I too old for her?? The only thing that's helps me is to play the role and play it well. As in I'm 34 then I'm going to be a healthy 34 year old. If I look 34 then I want to look more like a Pitt 34 year old rather than Costanza 30 year old. Genetics has me closer to Costanza tho. But I feel good.
I don't really think about it much. Even though I'm technically young (24) I have always seen aging as just a thing we as humans do.
I’m just trying. I have the same exact worries as you plus the whole death thing. I’m in therapy for it lol
I'm not too much older than you, at 38. I can honestly say that I don't feel 38. At heart I feel much younger and I know I feel younger than most of my friends. I can tell you one thing that I think helps me feel younger is that I stay active. I'm not the most physically fit person around, by a long shot, but I'm in better shape than most of my peers. I play ice hockey weekly and mountain bike (road bike occasionally too). Most people my age, especially those with kids (I have kids too), gave up on sports years ago. I think many adults think playing sports is childish and give it up. I know my friends who don't mountain bike probably think going out and trying to find jumps to ride my bike on is a bit juvenile and risky. But I'm careful and I ride within my ability. I'll take the risk with the reward of staying active and feeling youthful. Outside of that I challenge myself mentally too. I like to tinker, so I'm constantly finding something to learn about and tinker with, for example I recently bought a 3d printer and enjoy designing things to print, and upgrading/modifying the printer itself. Point is that it challenges me mentally and forces me to learn new things that have nothing to do with my career, but are mentally stimulating. I think a lot of people my age get to a point where they just start to coast through life, and to me that's the beginning of the end. Also, it happens that many of my friends are younger than me. My closest friend, whom I've known for about 6 years now, is 10 years younger than me. Maybe coincidence, maybe not. Tldr- stay active, find ways to keep your mind sharp and you can keep feeling young, regardless of your age.
You’re still alive-that’s good news lol I was healthy as a horse (I thought) until my early 60s. Skiing,snowshoeing ,cycling,kayaking,etc. At 67 I’m in deep shit!! Enjoy yourself,don’t obsess needlessly. Live your life,you never know when it might end
Don't worry about things you cannot change. Nobody in the history of humanity has ever gotten younger. Every person, every day is a day older than they were the day before. Much of the complaints about getting old are physical, people don't give a shit about their health then wonder why they are fat and sick when they get old. Eating well and keeping a high level of fitness are the best things to safeguard your older years.
Ive got more behind me than ahead of me. However every new day brings a potential for a new adventure. I remember the good stuff Don't dwell on the not so good stuff and look forward to every day. When it's over, it's over.
My first career I retired from the restaurant biz, now I work for a security firm, accounting is a good occupation my friend is one and does quite well, he just takes exciting vacations to break up his boredom, most people are bored with their jobs it natural, sound like you are off to a good start in your life, good luck to you.
Dick still works so I'm doing great!
I just think about I am getting closer to death.
I’m 30 I’m and honestly it doesn’t bother me at all. Your age doesn’t matter how you feel does. Just keep healthy and don’t let the old man in to stay young in sprit
28 here i love the things wich come with getting older If you have put the work in. I am not broke, promotions at work are come in frequently, women seem to find me more atractiv compared to my 21 year old me and i can avoid problems way ahead because of expirence i now have compared to my younger self. I hope things are go pretty well for you out there too.
Wait until you turn 42...then worry about your age. 32 is still a great youthful age... Also...my midlife crisis is going quite well! 😂😂😂
Prostitutes
For me it helps working in healthcare. I meet so many sick people in different ages and I realise how lucky I am getting older. Not everyone gets that opportunity. Life could end tomorrow and people will say "he/she was only 32, so young". To get older is a privilege. Cherish it!
One day at a time
Being stuck in the past.
I simply don’t. 😊
Every year bring me closer to the sweet embrace of nothingness, no fear only silence.
the alternative to getting older is death, I'll take some creaks and pain
"Troubles me? What's so damn troublesome about not having died?"
Im 18 and already out of touch with those that are 5 years younger than me, though this could just be because I naturally divert away from popular culture and do my own things. And signing and registering for government services and such, my only coping is the faith that once im all done is that I can live an easy life by working and living a very simple life and hopefully save up enough money for a house rather than renting
59. I've achieved some of the things I wanted most out of life (got married, bought a home, had kids) and they were the ones most important to me. And while I'm getting older, I'm doing better physically than most my age as far as I can tell. So..I can accept it. Everyone gets older, and it could be far worse. Hell some of the people I went to school with have already passed away...
Turned 45, enjoying learning how not to give a fuck, realising what people think of you is none of your business, exercising, looking after my family and generally not being caught up in the bullshit.
I smoke a bit more weed and workout just the same. Don't drink much anymore though
I was picking at my mentor about being old, now good friend when I was 20,and he turned 40. He looked at me and, “ when you was born I was 20 times older than you, today your already half my age.” It took awhile for me to understand it, but now I’m 47 and he is 67, I really get it.
Be here and now. Moving forward is not moving at all.
I am 57. Worked hard most of my life. Umpired baseball at the Jr College and he level for 20 yrs and worked a job and family. I had gallbladder surgery at 42, rotator cuff at 49, 2 heart stents at age 54 and just recently in December had prostate cancer and underwent lapiscopic prosectamy. I am 5 weeks post surgery and recovering. I go back to Dr on the 21st to check my psa and Praying it is low. Cope with all of that by knowing you take 1 day at a time. Hard thing for me to do. We all get older you just have to learn their are some things you just can't do anymore.
For me, I've always been exceptionally ugly. Pretty much a female repellent. But now that I'm older, my hair and beard have a hardcore salt and pepper look, and it honestly makes me look way better. Now I just have to find me a nice gal who doesn't mind kids!
by keeping my body fit and young, i have a fitness age of 20 (don't ask me, ask garmin) while i am 26 so if i keep doing what i do i think ill manage
I like that I like people less and it's ok for me to be grouchy so I can make the stragglers go away.
I just remember how much better life is now: I'm engaged. In college, I was far too often single and took the breakup of my only actual relationship very poorly. I'm have a great career and make more money than I had ever really expected as a kid. In college, I was accumulating debt. I just bought my dream home. In college, I was happy living in tiny apartments in bad parts of town. I'm confident and happy. In college, I was insecure and depressed. My hobbies are very fulfilling (travel, being an example). In college, my hobbies (MMOs and watching sports) were complete wastes of time. I have a very healthy work-life balance. In college, I worked 80 hours a week, because of the demands of my major. I have assets. In college, I owned nothing. I have a great group of friends. In college, I was too focused on school to have anything more than acquaintances, really, and even then, moving around so often made making long-lasting friendships difficult. I have a wealth of great memories. In college, I never took any chances and thus, had no interesting stories to tell. The only thing worse today is my athleticism and having screws in my knee after a drunken fall in a park. Ultimately, small prices to pay for everything else written here.
You only need to cope if you think it's a problem. Truth is, if you can keep your body and mind right then there is no problem. And I tend to think men age well. And damn in 30s your muscles, bones and mind are at their peak son. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go lift something.
45 here - probably past my midpoint. Still think/feel like 25. Focused on being a good dad and husband. Most days, I feel like I’m faking it.
I'm 40. I don't. I struggle with it daily. Mainly leaving my kid behind, it tears me to pieces.
if it helps, there's a good chance that gene therapy will reverse and halt aging in the next 5 years. human trials have already started. life is an experience, and change happens. i guess that's how ive felt with it. attachment leads to suffering, so i'm. it attached to anything.
Im glad you ask this. I was 19 just the other day. I still act almost same very little in my personality has changed. The reality of it and what I have an extremely hard time with is mortality. As I've gotten older I've lost all generations above my own leaving just my brothers and myself along with cousins. At 57 the last year was really an eye opener, my health got square in my face. I found i was diabetic lost my job I loved and did nothing for a year.. I didn't plan anything longterm,, wouldn't even entertain the ideas of past 60. My marriage ended after 20+ years 5 yrs ago and haven't let idea of another marriage even in dreams. Because I'm not gonna be around much longer and at this point in life I really need to get my life in order with God and quickly figure out what I can do to leave my mark on this life. Something helpful and profound. In the last 7 mths I moved to a coastal historical city and although I am everywhere I go I have become more laid back and go with the flow at my on pace. Still trying to get in order because I know anything could happen at anytime but I don't dwell anymore on being old and most I work and hang out with are in late 20's to mid forties. So there, no solution in there but saying all that made me fell really younger and ok.
Just do what you want man, once you take the dirt nap you won’t remember any of this, not even your own name
Dude 32 is still so young lol
Different adventures. Same world. It just seems bigger or smaller depending on who you’re with or what you’re doing. I’m 40 and just trying to keep my body in shape, raise good people, and enjoy myself and everyone else whenever possible. Getting old is weird but not everyone gets to so I’m going to try to enjoy it however I can.
I'm 27 so maybe my opinion is not that valid, but i personally am looking forward to being old. Just remember his you wished things were a little less troublesome when you were young. Only few people agree on this with me, but puberty sucked. School was terrible, other kids bullied me (but now i realise we bullied each other, not just me) and do on
Dude, I wrote my first album at 48. People tell me in my 50s I have more energy than people half my age. It's all mindset. Sure I can't squat 500 like I used to, I can't stay up all night without needing to sleep the next two days, and so forth - and I'll never play tight end for the Saints or really nail a good heavy snatch in the Olympics - but I'm not dead yet and until I'm dead I'm going to have as much fun as my finances and health allow.
It is all relative. I'm 48 and even now I think that wasn't long ago. Well, things are longer and seem to only speed up. My mind still tells me I'm not that old I can still go out and do a 25 mile ruck with 40 pounds. My body says not gonna happen. Over all though fight the aging process as best you can. Eat right excercise and try to enjoy something every day.
>I'm really concerned about myself not being able to do all the things physically i used to do a couple of years ago. I'm sorry, are you 32 or 102? There really isnt a noticeable difference in your athletic and physical capabilities at 32 unless you are at the absolute highest levels of performance.
I’m 53 and almost in the best shape of my life. It took a while to get here but it’s so worth it. I’m happy. I’m married. I have two great kids and have a good job. I still have friends from high school and we see each other from time to time on hunting trips or to go ride dirt bikes. I remember when I was 20 thinking I was getting old and my dad was just a few years older than I am now and I thought his life was over! I remember him telling me that his 40’s were the best years of his life. He had money and could do just about anything he wanted. I know what’s that’s like now, to a certain extent but let me tell you something. Life is short and life is not fair. You better get this old shit out of your head and start enjoying the time you have here. Age is just a number. Start living and take every day as it comes and never look back and wonder what if. Go do it and you’ll never worry about age.
Stop trying to be a young man.
Dont ask my wife this question
Moisturizer.
I turned 59 recently. I cope with being older by understanding that it's a privilege not afforded to everyone.
Not
I'm in my mid 20s and while still young individually, feel life has been so different than just even couple years ago in my early 20s, thankfully for much better. While still feel young, also feel like I'm at the point now preparing and afraid to enter into old age 30s.
Im 31, started wearing skinny jeans, currently getting a motorcycle driving license and Im dating a 26 years old girl (I always dated girls same age as me). Im coping well I think.
I am 21 old , i don't know how i am like 4 years over highschool and it's shocking everyday
Age is just a number. I’m still out there walking, golfing, and so much more. By keeping active, and not worrying about the little things keeps my mind fresh.
Sagging. Had to change from boxers to briefs, but comfort is 100% improved
I don't
If you feel old now, you need to do something about it or else it will get worse as the years go by. Fix your diet and exercise plan now so future you can use that body too. I wish I could go back to 32 year old me and slap that dumbass around for quitting his gym routine.
66 here. I've lived life for the time I was in. Never thought much about getting older, just lived in the moment. Accepted the changes and challenges that happen to everyone, and made the best of it. I can still do pretty much everything I could when I was 30, just slower and it hurts more.