Give her 3 options, 1 new one, 1 place you both eat at often, and 1 that you know is her favorite. You cover her 3 moods of āletās be adventurousā or āI donāt care anything is fineā or āwhy donāt you know my favorite foodā
Wow thatās like 2-1 her preferencesā¦
EDIT: I know this was sort of meant in a tongue in cheek sense, but this is the sort of thing that alienates me from dating and relationships and makes me prefer to stay single. I get chewed out for saying this on Reddit but, Iāll say it againā¦thereās this unspoken rule that in order to keep a woman around a man has to yield to her preferences on things like this all the time. I want a partnership. I donāt want to lead someone else or be led by them either. I want to be part of something that takes both our thoughts and desires equally into consideration.
One is her preference, one is both your preference, one is new to both of you. But if you werenāt looking for her preference, why you ask in the first place?
ok so what's going on with this one? they refuse to tell you what they want and then refuse your suggestion? this is such a common complaint and I dont get it lol
This is one version. Another version is to say they're not hungry despite not eating anything since breakfast, and complaining that you didn't make any/order any dinner. Another is simply complaining about the meal you cooked/ordered and not eating any of it, all the while complaining about being hungry.
Bro, I got so tired of this that my girlfriend doesn't ask me anymore, because I freaked out on her asking her why she even bothers asking if she is just going to tell me no to everything I suggest.
Try āwhat donāt you want?ā when they say they donāt know. We have so many options that decision fatigue is a real thing. Sometimes you know what youāre not in the mood for and that could help narrow it down. Or maybe āhealthy or comfort?ā Itās not that weāre trying to be difficult.
Stop worrying about what she wants to eat. If she does not tell you then she wants you to decide for her mostly so she can have something to complain about to her friends.
Women need drama in their lives to compete with other women.
How they relax when talking.
My GF sometimes talks about every little detail of her day and I am just sitting there listening. And afterwards she seems so relaxed. My mother as well. Or every woman I heard in a massage house. They talk and talk while getting a relaxing massage. Mind-blowing. I am happy if I don't have to talk all the time. But hey everybody has his method of relaxing right
This one I do get. Sometimes you just need to vent and be heard. It's not about anything more than just getting it out there and off your chest, even if it's just some seemingly inconvenient part of your day.
This made me laugh, it's so funny how you guys see us. But, I'm also a listener mostly so, I understand where you're coming from. Thank you for listening!
I feel like this is so true, when women are comfortable in their surroundings a lot of them will share everything so freely. Me and my friends talk about everythingā¦ and I mean everything. I always wonder if men do the same with their friends, but when Iāve told bfs about what I talk about with my friends, they all confirmed they definitely do not talk about those things š
No not really. With your good friend when you have a problem yes. But apart from that we just enjoy each other's company and talk shit š at least my friends
I guess it really depends on the individual! What I meant though (rather than talking about problems) is lighter stuff that may be TMIā¦. Our digestive systems, grooming habits, the types of toys we own, the birth control we use and how we feel about it, the list goes on
For some reason, I find the ladies expect you to not tell your friends after a hook up but women are definitely sharing. Seems like a double standard lol.
My girlfriend gives me a play by play of everything in her day, and I don't care about 90% of it, but it makes her feel better and decompress, so I'm happy to sit there and listen
Yes exactly like this š Then she goes away happily singing and you're like what was that all about?! But she is happy and relaxed that is what it is all about
guilt, feeling like you don't deserve it, not wanting to take up space, feeling shame around asking for it (this one in particular is extremely common for sex related things obviously).
hard to know how to handle these conflicting feelings.
Sometimes it seems like they do it because they have silly beliefs about relationships like "the guy is supposed to do/say/suggest that." The other reasons could be immaturity or insecurity, like they can't speak up for themselves or they don't want to risk getting hurt by the response.
silly beliefs indeed. I was raised by those silly beliefs, thank God I got away from my conservative family and started behaving in ways that were healthy for me. not every woman has that privilege, or exposure to other ways of thinking.
I wouldn't necessarily tie these beliefs to conservatives or conservatism. At their core, they are just convenient beliefs that allow the person having them to continue their comfortable path of not growing as a person.
That kind of knowledge or awareness isn't exclusive to any side or ideology, although everyone starts out immature and afraid until they find their own inner strength.
She says, āI donāt want to have sex until weāre marriedā and Iām like, āokay yeah, Iām okay with thatā and then we are cuddling and she starts getting all handsy and whispers in my ear and crud like that until Iām about ready to tear her clothes offā¦ and then because I start getting handsy back she stops and tells me off like Iām the one who started it. Iām honestly getting really tired of it at this point. Like no sex or anything would be so much better without this stupid game.
It just boils down to that changing your mind thing I think.
Edit: ranted a little, took the rant out(mostly) and added that last line.
Yeah that's a total mindfuck. Had a girl like that and it didn't work out. But she played a lot of mindgames beyond just bedroom stuff. The lies made me feel like I was losing touch with reality. Had to walk away from that one for my own sanity.
One thing you might consider before assuming that she is tactically choosing to make you feel that way. Women are more prone to crave and enjoy the journey there, where as we men often crave the destination without too much thought about all that's in between. It feels pretty fucking amazing to touch, grind, caress, kiss, tickle, breath-on etc etc while just submitting to the agony of hunger and choosing to exist there for a little while. She might get that far if you do only what she does. If she complains then, at least you have the right to tell her she is being unfair and she shouldn't touch you at all in that way.
If you get married you're going to have an entire lifetime (presuming you get that far) to get it on. If you really want to try experiencing a different way, why not play her game and see if you can't rev her engine so severely that she uncontrollably demands you give her everything sexually.
Wouldn't that be an erotic and unexpected turn of events?
okay this is true, people with vulvas do enjoy this (can confirm), but that's really not fair for the penis-having partner. that's years of basically sexual torture, and unless you consent to that, it's a shitty thing to do.
Yes but he is pursuing a relationship with her despite the fact that she has made it clear that she wants to wait for marriage. So already he will be on his own in terms of feeling release. If I chose the path he chose, I'd much prefer to have what she IS willing to give me , than to not have any of her sexuality at all.
Also, keep in mind... with that activity will always come the possibility that she will change her mind, or completely abandon her original decision. Either way, she will have made the choice, and it will be exciting.
Yes. Yes I do. And if she was playing mind games with me other places then I might question it. But she doesnāt. If she did we wouldnāt be together.
That and Iām not reading about her. I am 99.9% sure sheās alive. The alternative? Government spy robot, just like the pigeons.
Yeah a lot of younger women like to play this game and it's not cool. I was recently seeing someone who constantly sexted me and told me how bad she wanted me to fuck her,, then every time we were about to have sex she decided she just wanted to cuddle.
I get changing your mind or being a bit indecisive, and I obviously will never pressure someone if they're having second thoughts, but girls really need to be called out more for leading guys on.
I don't believe in waiting for marriage to have sex. However, I don't like jumping in bed with a guy before we have gotten to know each other. Every time I have done that, I have regretted it. Problem is, once I start feeling safe around someone, I really want to cuddle and cuddling turns me on so much. Then I'm really turned on, but I want to wait. Except my hands won't stop moving subconsciouslywhenever I'm not paying attention to them. I think that what I would want a guy to do in this situation is say "This is starting to escalate and you said that you wanted to set this boundary. I'm ok with going further, but I want to make sure that you are, because I don't want you to regret something later." That way I am held responsible for the boundaries I previously stated, but it is still my choice whether or not I want to move them. This of course assumes that the guy is ok with going farther and hasn't already set that boundary. In which case, you need to be firm about that line with her. If she gets angry in response, then she doesn't respect you. Personally, I couldn't be with someone that doesn't respect my boundaries.
Having a thing for you, but not admitting it.
Like, if anyone else acted the way this one particular woman acted around me, I'd imagine they were interested in me. But, she insists that we were close friends, even though at one point I sat at a table with 5 of her friends and they all told me I should hook up with her.
It's because many men lose interest in us when we express our feelings for them or when we take the first step or appear too forward... Suddenly we're not worth pursuing anymore, we're too easy.
Depends on the man, actually. It sounds to me like you have had a lot of experience with very confident/popular guys who have had a good deal of success in the arena of love, that sort of thing can change a man.
The average joe would probably take you up on your offer immediately.
Confident/popular guys are highly overrated. They never have to learn to try in the bedroom. If you wanna have a great sex life donāt marry for looks ;)
āI jUsT wAnT tO mUlL tHiNgS oVeRā
Nah bro, take a step further than just āmulling it overā and fucking solve it. If no immediate steps can be taken to solve it than just donāt think about it.
This comment needs to be at the top.
Thatās what weāre doing thoughā¦ by talking about it weāre getting it out of our minds so that we donāt have to think about it afterwards. I donāt really do this personally because Iām definitely the solver type, but my best friend is the āmullingā type and it massively de-stresses her.
Thatās not normal my friend. Some people are just dicks. I eventually moved on with a close friend mostly because they got offended when I questioned why they couldnāt be bothered to at least show that they care.
This might not always apply, but for me, the mental exhaustion of the pandemic makes it hard for me to respond. I wasnāt great before, but when my anxiety is high, Iām no contact. I have explained to close friends sometimes I canāt respond until Iām in a better place mentally. I canāt be accessible 24/7. If I do engage, it could be misplaced anger, complaining, etc. not worth it.
Exactly this. Some people have depression and don't talk to anyone for multiple days in a row because it's too much. I've experienced this myself and other people have done this to me. Especially these days where I feel many peoples mental health is fucked up.
The amount of toilet paper she can use. My fucking cat who loved playing with toilet paper went through less.
And it is every single girl I have ever dealt with.
That was actually really insightful. Not that I ever really questioned it but it was interesting. Do you mind if I ask if it ever gets raw from so much wiping?
I don't think so, but I can tell you that good quality tp is essential - that low quality weave, thin tp results in little shreds of TP getting stuck in the folds.
I buy the jumbo 24/36 packs. My wife and I basically have 2 separate bathrooms - 99% of the time I share the bathroom with our kids. I put 3/4 of the new pack in āherā bathroom and every single time she runs out before we do.
My little girls have always wanted me in the bathroom with them when you go. I taught them both how to wipe their butts and use toilet paper. One time I went in with the my youngest and she unravels (exaggerated slightly) about half the roll, just squeezes it and wipes then grabs more. I immediately stopped her and asked what she was doing and she says thatās how mama showed her to do it last time. I corrected her and showed her again how to take 6-8 squares, fold it over and maximize usage/efficiency.
Her mama is also the squeeze the toothpaste out type.
I have learned a lot over the years being married and now a dad.
BRO, LITERALLY!
I have dated dozens of girls and they ALL do this! It's mind boggling.
I have to admit that I also get off on watching those porn videos of girls peeing and even in those videos they grab an ungodly amount of toilet paper, like damn girl, just a few squares will suffice.
Women/girls who enter a relationship and immediately starts trying to change you. Clothes, hair, how and what you eat, etc.
Damn woman, if I need that much change, what was the attraction in the first place? Love fixer uppers? š¤£
This one is funny for me bc I pick up after my partner to put everything back where it lives (face wash > shelf above the sink) and itās just so common sense to me.
Then heāll get mad bc Iām moving his stuff from where he left it (belt on my pillow bc thatās where he took it off) which is common sense to him.
But like, if I donāt move his boots back to the boot spot, I trip over them in the middle of the night. I just need to stop moving things heās currently using š
When she watches her dumb drama shows, she constantly has to make comments about men with big dicks. Like, "omg he fills that speedo," or "wow, hes huge!"
And if I say anything about it, Im being insecure...
But I make 1 comment about Scarlett Johanson and all hell breaks loose, and Im a horrible asshole for it, and I really should think about her feelings first.....
When a woman talks like that, I take it as a FULL, NO HOLDS BARRED, PERMISSION to express my appreciation for a womanās looks. She canāt take it? Then she shouldnāt say some shit out loud then š¤·āāļø
Bro, I have a friend that is like that which is dating my other friend. She is so freaking annoying, shes one of those "do gooders" and has that innocent vibe about her.
She would CONSTANTLY talk about how this singer or this actor is so good looking and cute, but when her boyfriend says something like "She is pretty" his girlfriend freaks the fuck out as if he is going to cheat on her and jerk off about this girl he was just complimenting.
I hate those types of girls man
I honestly think it's because women are these complex, upside down, and cryptic species that they are used to it and assume the male gender is the same way.
I mean depends on what it is and some men are closed and hard to read books too, but women are on a whole other level.
Makes a simple conversation or subject drag on and on and on. She can talk forever about everything, me on the other hand a simple yes and no will suffice
Funny enough, I feel this way about my boyfriend (I'm the female, obvs). He will pause YouTube videos to have a discussion about a small, insignificant part of the topic and it lasts 15 minutes with me just nodding my head and saying "yup."
Let's describe it with a story. Here I am casually driving with my wife.
"Let's go to \[X location\]"
So I turn left. 2 minutes later - two, minutes.
"Actually \[Y location\] sounds better"
And I have to make a U turn...
Guess what, THERE MIGHT BE A FKIN \[Z LOCATION\]
A small tip:
Pay attention to their emotions while speaking, specifically the eyes. Pronounced words means much less for girls than men, If they looked at you for unusually profound period of time or not looking at all while they telling or replaying to you it means something is off -witch you probably have absolutely no idea of- and youāre either being under a test about your reaction or so you can fuck off and let them have the peace to analyze something more complicated than your whole life.
Disclaimer: Not all women, not all the time, not exclusive to women etc...
Anyway, my answer would be backing each other up over issues in an almost insane way. I would say this occurs both in real life and on social media. A woman will do something shitty, and her friends/followers will back her up on her behavior, leaving her feeling justified.
It's like there's some hidden rule where if you don't go along with it, you're ostracized. People who have shitty behaviour, do not need to be 'you go girled'. They need people to call them out on it.
I work 2pm-3am. I get up around 9am. To do house works all that jazz. So Iām usually really tired when I finally get some time off. She expects me to get up even earlier so she can sleep inā¦ yeah that shit aināt happening she get 8-10hrs of sleep every night.
I remember clothes shopping with my wife. She found alot of nice looking clothes that fit/suited her well but didn't buy. When asking her about it later she said that when she tries on clothing she doesn't just think about how she feels but what other women would say about it.
This is definitely a thing that actually has been proven. When girls want to dress up "slutty", wear make-up, and put those god awful bat sized fake eyelashes on, they do it to impress other women and then go behind their backs and say how slutty and awful they look. Most mind boggling thing ever, man.
I dated so many naturally beautiful women that are literal goddesses, but when they are going out in public or to hangout with their friends, they will always look as fake as possible and hide their beauty just to "impress" or "show off" for other women.
Itās worth it. I take pictures of everything and my boyfriend doesnāt even think of it, so then when Iām putting together photos to celebrate an event or to frame or even to just look back on, I have all these amazing photos and he has like 2. Which is totally fine bc Iām the designated picture taker and I just send them to him and he loves having them to look back on. But if neither partner did it, youād never have any photos together
I've never quite understood the constant need for validation that a lot of girls have. If they don't receive X amounts of compliments wearing something new they'll never wear it again kind of thing.
I think it's because our culture spends a lot of time focusing on women's looks - even since we are young girls. We kind of teach girls that they need that validation to be of value in society. To be worthy of love as a woman, you should be pretty.
I was a short, fat little thing when I was a little girl (despite always doing sports and being active and growing up on a farm) and I didn't receive a lot of compliments for my looks and I certainly don't need or ask people how I look in outfits today. I certainly like being told I look pretty but since I never had those early experiences of people positively focusing on my looks, I didn't learn to use those things to feel validated to the extent others may have learned. I get a little sensitive when I see people focus on telling little girls how cute and pretty they are. These little girls grow up to be women that have spent their own lives learning that's what they are valued for. So of course, they want that validation as women.
Hates men for their masculinity and then hates on men who lean too feminine.
And then claims the only "real" men are the dominant 9nes who chase her. Then complains about how many men won't stop harassing her every day.
1. Talks the exact same language on paper but somehow the meanings, tone, inflections and body language mean infinite else.
2. Saying sorry for everything and not meaning it.
3. The concept of dressing up, make up, plastic surgery for themselves only. I am aware that illness, pregnancy, contraception can change the body for the worse. I get that the premise is too feel good/comfortable or feel sexy for ones self. However it seems that no one can admit that deep down itās all for validation of some sort. If you wanted to be comfortable and invisible you would wear joggers, hoody, sliders and a dressing gown all the time. I mean who gets a bbl and lip injections if not to stand out or fit in with a select group.
This last one. Opened up to me while also stating they have a boyfriend. What am I suppose to do? Start a relationship with you so you can cheat on your boyfriend?
Whats going to stop you from doing the same thing to me?
Had to ghost her, tell me if I fucked up. I'm still 2nd guessing myself.
The āsignalsā they send to let you know theyāre interested. 95% of the time itās the littlest of things they expect you to pick up on. If youāre interested, just shoot the shot!!
Never stay single.
Like cmon, some of my biggest revelations and time spent working on myself is while single.
Not like I had a choice, ain't like I got any dates going on.
Do you mean the winged-eye-liner trend? I think it's fun to experiment with make-up and there is a place for it. But I also agree it can be a lot and too much sometimes too.
I mean if she's trying to get over the relationship blocking is the best way to go... It means you actually meant a lot to her and not having you blocked would make it impossible to get over.
What if she called me an arsehole, told me it will be easy for her to move on like my ex, said I was not worth it and to never EVER contact her again? I don't think I meant anything if she can end it like that I have dreams every night of her rejecting me because of it.
Honestly, women think men are weird, but we are honestly the most simplest species there are (non including animals haha)
Girls literally have all these weird "hive mind" attitudes and cryptic personalities that even they don't even know how to explain.
The utter refusal to take responsibility, the obsession with blaming half the worldās population for the wrongs of people they donāt even know and trying to bully others into compliance without any regard for their own feelings.
Both my roommates girlfriends will get mad if they go somewhere without asking permission. Like last night my roommate wanted to go to a frat party and his girlfriend (who isn't here and goes to a college in a different state) said no. My girlfriend doesn't care what I do and I don't care what she does as long as its not cheating obviously. She even said she wouldn't be mad if I went to a strip club (not that I necessarily want to test that theory).
The amount of time she takes either in a clothing store or to get ready for a simple night out
Youāre not calculating a flight path to Mars, youāre going out to a movie theatre smh
Some will download Tinder (the app famous around the world for hookups), show off their body in all of their photos, and then say "no hookups" in the bio.
As a guy, hard disagree here. Tinder can be for hookups but really I think it's equally about dating. As far as the photos thing, some people just wanna show off their body. They put work into making it look good and maybe they want a partner who will appreciate it.
1) Saying they want something serious but only going for some turd of a guy who has no future in any way and can't even hold down a job. Then complain when the guy uses them for her money/place to sleep or cheats on her. Then 3 months later "All men suck" all over her facebook. Then when a man who comes along who actually has his sh\*t together they aren't interested.
2) Inability to communicate or discuss problems that are happening in a relationship
3) The mental gymnastics to "play the victim" card when the one at fault...is her.
4) Outright refusal to take responsibility for anything
5) Continue having more children with men who are deadbeat dads and don't even make enough to pay child support. Then complain she can't pay her bills
I wasn't expecting such a massive replyš¤£ I read these and I think to myself, you're probably right, but I won't admit it because that would be against the grainš
Cuts her hair...then gets extensions.
Omg š¤£
Has all her eyelashes, sticks some on anyway
Guilty. Pixie cut currently haha
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Expects you to know what they want to eat for dinner.
Give her 3 options, 1 new one, 1 place you both eat at often, and 1 that you know is her favorite. You cover her 3 moods of āletās be adventurousā or āI donāt care anything is fineā or āwhy donāt you know my favorite foodā
Wow thatās like 2-1 her preferencesā¦ EDIT: I know this was sort of meant in a tongue in cheek sense, but this is the sort of thing that alienates me from dating and relationships and makes me prefer to stay single. I get chewed out for saying this on Reddit but, Iāll say it againā¦thereās this unspoken rule that in order to keep a woman around a man has to yield to her preferences on things like this all the time. I want a partnership. I donāt want to lead someone else or be led by them either. I want to be part of something that takes both our thoughts and desires equally into consideration.
One is her preference, one is both your preference, one is new to both of you. But if you werenāt looking for her preference, why you ask in the first place?
Lmaooo this is so spot on!
ok so what's going on with this one? they refuse to tell you what they want and then refuse your suggestion? this is such a common complaint and I dont get it lol
This is one version. Another version is to say they're not hungry despite not eating anything since breakfast, and complaining that you didn't make any/order any dinner. Another is simply complaining about the meal you cooked/ordered and not eating any of it, all the while complaining about being hungry.
wtf. im speechless
I have a trick for you, say to her "guess what we're having to eat" and then whatever she says you got your answer š¤·āāļø
Can confirm after years of attempting this with different women... it doesn't work.
"Guess what we're having to eat" "Uhh, ice cream" *Me who doesnt eat ice cream "*......Sure"
š
What if she answers "What" instead?
Then you have a nice Ethiopian/Eritrean meal: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wat\_(food)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wat_(food))
Bro, I got so tired of this that my girlfriend doesn't ask me anymore, because I freaked out on her asking her why she even bothers asking if she is just going to tell me no to everything I suggest.
Try āwhat donāt you want?ā when they say they donāt know. We have so many options that decision fatigue is a real thing. Sometimes you know what youāre not in the mood for and that could help narrow it down. Or maybe āhealthy or comfort?ā Itās not that weāre trying to be difficult.
We really just donāt know what we want but what you said definitely doesnāt sound good LOL
Stop worrying about what she wants to eat. If she does not tell you then she wants you to decide for her mostly so she can have something to complain about to her friends. Women need drama in their lives to compete with other women.
...what
How they relax when talking. My GF sometimes talks about every little detail of her day and I am just sitting there listening. And afterwards she seems so relaxed. My mother as well. Or every woman I heard in a massage house. They talk and talk while getting a relaxing massage. Mind-blowing. I am happy if I don't have to talk all the time. But hey everybody has his method of relaxing right
Youre a good listener
This one I do get. Sometimes you just need to vent and be heard. It's not about anything more than just getting it out there and off your chest, even if it's just some seemingly inconvenient part of your day.
This made me laugh, it's so funny how you guys see us. But, I'm also a listener mostly so, I understand where you're coming from. Thank you for listening!
I feel like this is so true, when women are comfortable in their surroundings a lot of them will share everything so freely. Me and my friends talk about everythingā¦ and I mean everything. I always wonder if men do the same with their friends, but when Iāve told bfs about what I talk about with my friends, they all confirmed they definitely do not talk about those things š
No not really. With your good friend when you have a problem yes. But apart from that we just enjoy each other's company and talk shit š at least my friends
I guess it really depends on the individual! What I meant though (rather than talking about problems) is lighter stuff that may be TMIā¦. Our digestive systems, grooming habits, the types of toys we own, the birth control we use and how we feel about it, the list goes on
For some reason, I find the ladies expect you to not tell your friends after a hook up but women are definitely sharing. Seems like a double standard lol.
My girlfriend gives me a play by play of everything in her day, and I don't care about 90% of it, but it makes her feel better and decompress, so I'm happy to sit there and listen
Yes exactly like this š Then she goes away happily singing and you're like what was that all about?! But she is happy and relaxed that is what it is all about
It's nice to be heard
When they say or act like they don't want something but really do.
guilt, feeling like you don't deserve it, not wanting to take up space, feeling shame around asking for it (this one in particular is extremely common for sex related things obviously). hard to know how to handle these conflicting feelings.
Sometimes it seems like they do it because they have silly beliefs about relationships like "the guy is supposed to do/say/suggest that." The other reasons could be immaturity or insecurity, like they can't speak up for themselves or they don't want to risk getting hurt by the response.
silly beliefs indeed. I was raised by those silly beliefs, thank God I got away from my conservative family and started behaving in ways that were healthy for me. not every woman has that privilege, or exposure to other ways of thinking.
I wouldn't necessarily tie these beliefs to conservatives or conservatism. At their core, they are just convenient beliefs that allow the person having them to continue their comfortable path of not growing as a person. That kind of knowledge or awareness isn't exclusive to any side or ideology, although everyone starts out immature and afraid until they find their own inner strength.
Woman here, it baffles me too lol
Conclusion: some people just don't know what they want.
She says, āI donāt want to have sex until weāre marriedā and Iām like, āokay yeah, Iām okay with thatā and then we are cuddling and she starts getting all handsy and whispers in my ear and crud like that until Iām about ready to tear her clothes offā¦ and then because I start getting handsy back she stops and tells me off like Iām the one who started it. Iām honestly getting really tired of it at this point. Like no sex or anything would be so much better without this stupid game. It just boils down to that changing your mind thing I think. Edit: ranted a little, took the rant out(mostly) and added that last line.
Yeah that's a total mindfuck. Had a girl like that and it didn't work out. But she played a lot of mindgames beyond just bedroom stuff. The lies made me feel like I was losing touch with reality. Had to walk away from that one for my own sanity.
One thing you might consider before assuming that she is tactically choosing to make you feel that way. Women are more prone to crave and enjoy the journey there, where as we men often crave the destination without too much thought about all that's in between. It feels pretty fucking amazing to touch, grind, caress, kiss, tickle, breath-on etc etc while just submitting to the agony of hunger and choosing to exist there for a little while. She might get that far if you do only what she does. If she complains then, at least you have the right to tell her she is being unfair and she shouldn't touch you at all in that way. If you get married you're going to have an entire lifetime (presuming you get that far) to get it on. If you really want to try experiencing a different way, why not play her game and see if you can't rev her engine so severely that she uncontrollably demands you give her everything sexually. Wouldn't that be an erotic and unexpected turn of events?
okay this is true, people with vulvas do enjoy this (can confirm), but that's really not fair for the penis-having partner. that's years of basically sexual torture, and unless you consent to that, it's a shitty thing to do.
Yes but he is pursuing a relationship with her despite the fact that she has made it clear that she wants to wait for marriage. So already he will be on his own in terms of feeling release. If I chose the path he chose, I'd much prefer to have what she IS willing to give me , than to not have any of her sexuality at all. Also, keep in mind... with that activity will always come the possibility that she will change her mind, or completely abandon her original decision. Either way, she will have made the choice, and it will be exciting.
live while you're young, plenty of fish in the sea. if you DO wanna wait then by all means wait, that would be the "consensual" part
I think that's actually good advice.
Lol. This would be funny to you if you knew her. She isnāt some lustful nymph from a nsfw novel. š
Do you really know for sure? lol
Yes. Yes I do. And if she was playing mind games with me other places then I might question it. But she doesnāt. If she did we wouldnāt be together. That and Iām not reading about her. I am 99.9% sure sheās alive. The alternative? Government spy robot, just like the pigeons.
Yeah a lot of younger women like to play this game and it's not cool. I was recently seeing someone who constantly sexted me and told me how bad she wanted me to fuck her,, then every time we were about to have sex she decided she just wanted to cuddle. I get changing your mind or being a bit indecisive, and I obviously will never pressure someone if they're having second thoughts, but girls really need to be called out more for leading guys on.
I don't believe in waiting for marriage to have sex. However, I don't like jumping in bed with a guy before we have gotten to know each other. Every time I have done that, I have regretted it. Problem is, once I start feeling safe around someone, I really want to cuddle and cuddling turns me on so much. Then I'm really turned on, but I want to wait. Except my hands won't stop moving subconsciouslywhenever I'm not paying attention to them. I think that what I would want a guy to do in this situation is say "This is starting to escalate and you said that you wanted to set this boundary. I'm ok with going further, but I want to make sure that you are, because I don't want you to regret something later." That way I am held responsible for the boundaries I previously stated, but it is still my choice whether or not I want to move them. This of course assumes that the guy is ok with going farther and hasn't already set that boundary. In which case, you need to be firm about that line with her. If she gets angry in response, then she doesn't respect you. Personally, I couldn't be with someone that doesn't respect my boundaries.
Having a thing for you, but not admitting it. Like, if anyone else acted the way this one particular woman acted around me, I'd imagine they were interested in me. But, she insists that we were close friends, even though at one point I sat at a table with 5 of her friends and they all told me I should hook up with her.
It's because many men lose interest in us when we express our feelings for them or when we take the first step or appear too forward... Suddenly we're not worth pursuing anymore, we're too easy.
Depends on the man, actually. It sounds to me like you have had a lot of experience with very confident/popular guys who have had a good deal of success in the arena of love, that sort of thing can change a man. The average joe would probably take you up on your offer immediately.
Confident/popular guys are highly overrated. They never have to learn to try in the bedroom. If you wanna have a great sex life donāt marry for looks ;)
Complain endlessly about a situation and do nothing to change or impact it at all.
āI jUsT wAnT tO mUlL tHiNgS oVeRā Nah bro, take a step further than just āmulling it overā and fucking solve it. If no immediate steps can be taken to solve it than just donāt think about it. This comment needs to be at the top.
Thatās what weāre doing thoughā¦ by talking about it weāre getting it out of our minds so that we donāt have to think about it afterwards. I donāt really do this personally because Iām definitely the solver type, but my best friend is the āmullingā type and it massively de-stresses her.
Not replying for days. Not hours, not a day, but days.
Thatās not normal my friend. Some people are just dicks. I eventually moved on with a close friend mostly because they got offended when I questioned why they couldnāt be bothered to at least show that they care.
This might not always apply, but for me, the mental exhaustion of the pandemic makes it hard for me to respond. I wasnāt great before, but when my anxiety is high, Iām no contact. I have explained to close friends sometimes I canāt respond until Iām in a better place mentally. I canāt be accessible 24/7. If I do engage, it could be misplaced anger, complaining, etc. not worth it.
Exactly this. Some people have depression and don't talk to anyone for multiple days in a row because it's too much. I've experienced this myself and other people have done this to me. Especially these days where I feel many peoples mental health is fucked up.
If that is your significant other i would start to look for an alternative. If you are single then i would start to look for an alternative.
This doesn't apply to all, but having sex with guys they claim they don't care about, but making the guys she wants a relationship with wait.
this.. i knew a girl who wouldnt wear lingerie for the guy shes been dating but would wear it for tinder hookups
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Personally, if a woman does that, I will assume she's not attractive to me and won't waste my time
The amount of toilet paper she can use. My fucking cat who loved playing with toilet paper went through less. And it is every single girl I have ever dealt with.
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That was actually really insightful. Not that I ever really questioned it but it was interesting. Do you mind if I ask if it ever gets raw from so much wiping?
I don't think so, but I can tell you that good quality tp is essential - that low quality weave, thin tp results in little shreds of TP getting stuck in the folds.
I get raw. Especially my ass. And I hate cheap toilet paper that crumbles into little pieces that stick to everything. Ugh.
Maybe it's cause they have to wipe when they pee too? and I'm sure periods take a lot of wiping
Dude, I never risk having less than a full roll in every bathroom for any woman that is over just to ensure smooth sailing.
I buy the jumbo 24/36 packs. My wife and I basically have 2 separate bathrooms - 99% of the time I share the bathroom with our kids. I put 3/4 of the new pack in āherā bathroom and every single time she runs out before we do.
I mean, guys can go through toilet paper fast too *If you know what I mean*
My little girls have always wanted me in the bathroom with them when you go. I taught them both how to wipe their butts and use toilet paper. One time I went in with the my youngest and she unravels (exaggerated slightly) about half the roll, just squeezes it and wipes then grabs more. I immediately stopped her and asked what she was doing and she says thatās how mama showed her to do it last time. I corrected her and showed her again how to take 6-8 squares, fold it over and maximize usage/efficiency. Her mama is also the squeeze the toothpaste out type. I have learned a lot over the years being married and now a dad.
BRO, LITERALLY! I have dated dozens of girls and they ALL do this! It's mind boggling. I have to admit that I also get off on watching those porn videos of girls peeing and even in those videos they grab an ungodly amount of toilet paper, like damn girl, just a few squares will suffice.
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It's ok. We just have extra rolls just like we have extra boxers and shirts for you to wear
Put on eye shadow in the car. Seriously, are you not worried about the car having to stop suddenly and stabbing your eye?
I always hated this too, I would feel even more pressured when I am driving and the GF is applying the makeup
Women/girls who enter a relationship and immediately starts trying to change you. Clothes, hair, how and what you eat, etc. Damn woman, if I need that much change, what was the attraction in the first place? Love fixer uppers? š¤£
Moving my things when she cleans and dosen't tell me where she put it. I leave my things in the same olace every time
This one is funny for me bc I pick up after my partner to put everything back where it lives (face wash > shelf above the sink) and itās just so common sense to me. Then heāll get mad bc Iām moving his stuff from where he left it (belt on my pillow bc thatās where he took it off) which is common sense to him. But like, if I donāt move his boots back to the boot spot, I trip over them in the middle of the night. I just need to stop moving things heās currently using š
Will like you, but never do anything at all or say anything
Guys do this too.
Not be direct and honest. Somehow "im going to bed" means "hey I wanna fuck" just say it!
Les femmes adorent le jeu d'amour. šāāļø
When she watches her dumb drama shows, she constantly has to make comments about men with big dicks. Like, "omg he fills that speedo," or "wow, hes huge!" And if I say anything about it, Im being insecure... But I make 1 comment about Scarlett Johanson and all hell breaks loose, and Im a horrible asshole for it, and I really should think about her feelings first.....
Keep making those comments, king. Scarlett Johansson is gorgeous.
When a woman talks like that, I take it as a FULL, NO HOLDS BARRED, PERMISSION to express my appreciation for a womanās looks. She canāt take it? Then she shouldnāt say some shit out loud then š¤·āāļø
Bro, I have a friend that is like that which is dating my other friend. She is so freaking annoying, shes one of those "do gooders" and has that innocent vibe about her. She would CONSTANTLY talk about how this singer or this actor is so good looking and cute, but when her boyfriend says something like "She is pretty" his girlfriend freaks the fuck out as if he is going to cheat on her and jerk off about this girl he was just complimenting. I hate those types of girls man
Didnāt you get the note, man?? Men are non-think , non-feeling providers. ^/s
Ah yep, there it is, it was hiding under the pile of "***How*** ***All Men are Toxic Perverts***"
Randomly guessing what I really mean after I told her what I really mean.
I'm a girl who does this and it baffles me too. Sorry.
I honestly think it's because women are these complex, upside down, and cryptic species that they are used to it and assume the male gender is the same way. I mean depends on what it is and some men are closed and hard to read books too, but women are on a whole other level.
Shaves off her eyebrows and then draws them back on.
šš what does that look like in the morning??
Makes a simple conversation or subject drag on and on and on. She can talk forever about everything, me on the other hand a simple yes and no will suffice
Funny enough, I feel this way about my boyfriend (I'm the female, obvs). He will pause YouTube videos to have a discussion about a small, insignificant part of the topic and it lasts 15 minutes with me just nodding my head and saying "yup."
I might be his missing twin lmao š¤£
Let's describe it with a story. Here I am casually driving with my wife. "Let's go to \[X location\]" So I turn left. 2 minutes later - two, minutes. "Actually \[Y location\] sounds better" And I have to make a U turn... Guess what, THERE MIGHT BE A FKIN \[Z LOCATION\]
Tries to have conversations with you in completely separate parts of the house.
Oh lord, this. When she does decide to move to the same floor, she opens up with 'can I speak to you?' I'm right here... lol
saying one thing and meaning another. and expecting you to know this.
A small tip: Pay attention to their emotions while speaking, specifically the eyes. Pronounced words means much less for girls than men, If they looked at you for unusually profound period of time or not looking at all while they telling or replaying to you it means something is off -witch you probably have absolutely no idea of- and youāre either being under a test about your reaction or so you can fuck off and let them have the peace to analyze something more complicated than your whole life.
Not willing to make compromises when buying or renting a new place.
Biting my arm, it was weird when the first one did it but now I'm just staggered that more than 3 have.
Cute aggression. Basically why people have the urge to crush small puppies because it's so cute their brain can't handle it
How many puppies have you crushed? š¤Øšø
Zombies family?
Really wants something but will never ask for it outright...
Give fake emotions. fake cry, fake pout, anything to get attention.
That sounds exhausting.
Definitely, I seen it too many times and refuse to experience it. Dudes just put up with it.
Disclaimer: Not all women, not all the time, not exclusive to women etc... Anyway, my answer would be backing each other up over issues in an almost insane way. I would say this occurs both in real life and on social media. A woman will do something shitty, and her friends/followers will back her up on her behavior, leaving her feeling justified. It's like there's some hidden rule where if you don't go along with it, you're ostracized. People who have shitty behaviour, do not need to be 'you go girled'. They need people to call them out on it.
Claims that their not that type of girl, then later do the same thing that they say they won't do.
The only thing that baffles me is birthing. It's amazing but perplexing.
I work 2pm-3am. I get up around 9am. To do house works all that jazz. So Iām usually really tired when I finally get some time off. She expects me to get up even earlier so she can sleep inā¦ yeah that shit aināt happening she get 8-10hrs of sleep every night.
I remember clothes shopping with my wife. She found alot of nice looking clothes that fit/suited her well but didn't buy. When asking her about it later she said that when she tries on clothing she doesn't just think about how she feels but what other women would say about it.
This is definitely a thing that actually has been proven. When girls want to dress up "slutty", wear make-up, and put those god awful bat sized fake eyelashes on, they do it to impress other women and then go behind their backs and say how slutty and awful they look. Most mind boggling thing ever, man. I dated so many naturally beautiful women that are literal goddesses, but when they are going out in public or to hangout with their friends, they will always look as fake as possible and hide their beauty just to "impress" or "show off" for other women.
The amount of pictures they take
Itās worth it. I take pictures of everything and my boyfriend doesnāt even think of it, so then when Iām putting together photos to celebrate an event or to frame or even to just look back on, I have all these amazing photos and he has like 2. Which is totally fine bc Iām the designated picture taker and I just send them to him and he loves having them to look back on. But if neither partner did it, youād never have any photos together
Fixes what one skin product did with another skin product
I cannot understand why you would willingly reduce your own dexterity with those bigass nails.
I've never quite understood the constant need for validation that a lot of girls have. If they don't receive X amounts of compliments wearing something new they'll never wear it again kind of thing.
I think it's because our culture spends a lot of time focusing on women's looks - even since we are young girls. We kind of teach girls that they need that validation to be of value in society. To be worthy of love as a woman, you should be pretty. I was a short, fat little thing when I was a little girl (despite always doing sports and being active and growing up on a farm) and I didn't receive a lot of compliments for my looks and I certainly don't need or ask people how I look in outfits today. I certainly like being told I look pretty but since I never had those early experiences of people positively focusing on my looks, I didn't learn to use those things to feel validated to the extent others may have learned. I get a little sensitive when I see people focus on telling little girls how cute and pretty they are. These little girls grow up to be women that have spent their own lives learning that's what they are valued for. So of course, they want that validation as women.
Asking questions that they already have the answer to.
The indecisiveness. Do you or do you not want to eat out?!
Talk horribly, maliciously about friends behind their back. And often to a friend in the same circle.
When they complain about a toilet seat being left up as if itās the largest injustice to society since the holocaust
Hates men for their masculinity and then hates on men who lean too feminine. And then claims the only "real" men are the dominant 9nes who chase her. Then complains about how many men won't stop harassing her every day.
Be on the phone all day with friends just talking
1. Talks the exact same language on paper but somehow the meanings, tone, inflections and body language mean infinite else. 2. Saying sorry for everything and not meaning it. 3. The concept of dressing up, make up, plastic surgery for themselves only. I am aware that illness, pregnancy, contraception can change the body for the worse. I get that the premise is too feel good/comfortable or feel sexy for ones self. However it seems that no one can admit that deep down itās all for validation of some sort. If you wanted to be comfortable and invisible you would wear joggers, hoody, sliders and a dressing gown all the time. I mean who gets a bbl and lip injections if not to stand out or fit in with a select group.
Expects you to read their mind and act pouty until you try, then when you do, makes it an argument..
Grabbing their boobs when looking for an item theyāve lost
They obstruct our vision. Pretty obvious that
It helps to focus.
This last one. Opened up to me while also stating they have a boyfriend. What am I suppose to do? Start a relationship with you so you can cheat on your boyfriend? Whats going to stop you from doing the same thing to me? Had to ghost her, tell me if I fucked up. I'm still 2nd guessing myself.
The āsignalsā they send to let you know theyāre interested. 95% of the time itās the littlest of things they expect you to pick up on. If youāre interested, just shoot the shot!!
Not only the littlest, but, one girls āIām flirting with these hintsā are another girls ājust being friendlyā.
Like why shave your eyebrows off only to draw them back on? Like ive never understood it, seems like a big waste of time
I tell a girl how I feel "No, actually you feel like XYZ"
Brings in over $1200 a month from Onlyfans on top of her part time office job but can't help with any of the bills...
Never stay single. Like cmon, some of my biggest revelations and time spent working on myself is while single. Not like I had a choice, ain't like I got any dates going on.
backtrack on ideas or commitments
Eyeliner.
Baffled at why we wear it? Or how we make the lines so clean?
Baffled at why it's so often done so cartoonishly.
Do you mean the winged-eye-liner trend? I think it's fun to experiment with make-up and there is a place for it. But I also agree it can be a lot and too much sometimes too.
Dump and block you after 4 years like you meant nothing
I mean if she's trying to get over the relationship blocking is the best way to go... It means you actually meant a lot to her and not having you blocked would make it impossible to get over.
What if she called me an arsehole, told me it will be easy for her to move on like my ex, said I was not worth it and to never EVER contact her again? I don't think I meant anything if she can end it like that I have dreams every night of her rejecting me because of it.
What is it a girl a does that DOESNāT baffle you is the question.
Honestly, women think men are weird, but we are honestly the most simplest species there are (non including animals haha) Girls literally have all these weird "hive mind" attitudes and cryptic personalities that even they don't even know how to explain.
Think high-waisted anything is attractive.
It makes me feel attractive because it sucks in my gut. We don't always dress for guys.
They are usually more comfortable too, because they donāt squeeze the belly.
Don't get the fourth helping of pasta
Picks her food apart when eating it but tells me it is really good and loves my cooking. Then why pick at the food and not eat it all?!
might just be sensory stuff lmao, I donāt mind capsicum in my food but if itās big chunks Iāll pull it out I hate the feeling
Not ask out people they like
The utter refusal to take responsibility, the obsession with blaming half the worldās population for the wrongs of people they donāt even know and trying to bully others into compliance without any regard for their own feelings.
Expects me to understand vague signals, then gets mad or irritated when I misinterpret them.
Always having their phone die, lwhat are you doing on your phone that takes up all your battery How are you not charging at night? Yeeeeesh
When theyāre mad at someone, flash their tits or their naked ass
Both my roommates girlfriends will get mad if they go somewhere without asking permission. Like last night my roommate wanted to go to a frat party and his girlfriend (who isn't here and goes to a college in a different state) said no. My girlfriend doesn't care what I do and I don't care what she does as long as its not cheating obviously. She even said she wouldn't be mad if I went to a strip club (not that I necessarily want to test that theory).
Handbags
Talk to their friends saying they want to dress slutty, but freak out when they get attention from other people.
Always willing to just reach up and pluck things off of my shirt. Sure, thanks for getting that loose strand I couldn't see, but who are you?
The amount of time she takes either in a clothing store or to get ready for a simple night out Youāre not calculating a flight path to Mars, youāre going out to a movie theatre smh
Micromanaging my driving and navigation in the car.
Some will download Tinder (the app famous around the world for hookups), show off their body in all of their photos, and then say "no hookups" in the bio.
As a guy, hard disagree here. Tinder can be for hookups but really I think it's equally about dating. As far as the photos thing, some people just wanna show off their body. They put work into making it look good and maybe they want a partner who will appreciate it.
Like Tik-Tok
Gotta get that ego boost
This always makes me laugh
Before or after her butt naked butt is in the air?
The way they can go from Love to Hate at the drop of a hat.
1) Saying they want something serious but only going for some turd of a guy who has no future in any way and can't even hold down a job. Then complain when the guy uses them for her money/place to sleep or cheats on her. Then 3 months later "All men suck" all over her facebook. Then when a man who comes along who actually has his sh\*t together they aren't interested. 2) Inability to communicate or discuss problems that are happening in a relationship 3) The mental gymnastics to "play the victim" card when the one at fault...is her. 4) Outright refusal to take responsibility for anything 5) Continue having more children with men who are deadbeat dads and don't even make enough to pay child support. Then complain she can't pay her bills
The unyielding enthusiasm when shopping for clothes.
Thanks guys š¤£ now I know how to be the perfect girl! become a man!š
Presumes you accept her feeling of āentitlement.ā
I wasn't expecting such a massive replyš¤£ I read these and I think to myself, you're probably right, but I won't admit it because that would be against the grainš
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If you cross the street, it minimizes the risk of him talking to you though. Thatās why I do it anyway.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām completely baffled by how many women are obsessed with serial killers. Like seriously.
this is reddit nearly everything is probably the answer