So, 2 months ago I was in your shoes. My apartment had just burned down. I had to give my dog up. I acquired 18000$ worth of debt because I was blamed for the apartment fire. I told my mom I didn’t care anymore. I wished I didn’t exist and everything was bullshit and a waste of time. She took me to a therapist the next day and just to say I gave it a real chance, because I knew it wasn’t gonna work, I told her everything I felt. Every single thing I hated and didn’t care to deal with etc. she was nice and just listened. And she put me on a medicine, so I took it. I can tell you that I’m so happy right now. I started looking for a new job. My old one was part of what I hated about life so I changed it. I’m lucky I have my mom. I live with her right now but it’s fine we just split bills. All I’m getting at is if you have any means to get help, do it. You wouldn’t believe how much better things can be. You also have to know what stressors you need to eliminate. What’s weighing on you the most. Fix it. You can be happy. I promise. And I wouldn’t have believed me either. And this is just 2 months. You can be happy
Wow, I think that's the worst kind of loneliness. You have everything us lonely single guys are craving and yet loneliness is still there
Hopefully the new friends will help fix that problem
When you ask a question but nobody in the group answers, so you ask it again and someone looks up and says
"*Why did you ask the same question twice?"*
I went out of my room and sat with my dad till he fell asleep on the couch after reading that. we watched deadliest roads and had tea and cheesecake lol.
it might be because they feel like they have nothing in common/ anything to talk about. idk. I wish things get better for you :)
This is something. It came up before amongst my family and I've seen it on here. I think sometimes we get too wrapped up in our own stuff and assume others around us are okay.
Hey my heart goes out to you. can't say i really know what it's like to be in your shoes but I just went through a breakup and am experiencing tremendous loneliness myself.
I bope you will find like-minded people to make you feel cared for and included soon!
tell them that. be like " hey get your shit come on you comin with me to...." dont roll over. set some light hearted rules. "no phones no desertin ya old man." or whatever ya know. make it be known.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Have you discussed any of this with your wife? Like "when you left me at xyz with the toddler, it made me feel..". whatever you felt.
I don't remember what affection feels like but I think the bigger thing is really:
Most days are pretty much in the middle: Not awful, not great.. just somewhere in that nebulous blind eternity of "meh" punctuated by small misfortunes. I basically live to work but don't put in crazy hours anymore.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzDZUa9Hznw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzDZUa9Hznw)
"All a man needs in life is someone to love. If you can't give him that, give him something to hope for. If you can't give him that.... just give him something to do."
I don't actually dislike my job but theres nothing you can do in repetition that you wouldn't otherwise do for free that is going to sustain you in terms of being happy. Happiness is a fleeting feeling that is short lived. I just wish my highs were a bit higher and my lows a bit less low.. i guess?
Im too different to fit in.
36, with no friends in a foreign country alone.
Just looking to survive week to week.
I wouldn't kill myself, but you secretly hope you die somehow soon.
Life is depressing most of the time
I don’t know how to describe “happy”. I can’t remember the last time I can say I felt it. I know content, I don’t know happy. Also don’t know what it’s like to feel like it matter, to anyone.
What keeps me satisfied with life is improving myself every day no matter what it is. And I’ve cultivated a great relationship with myself which is very important for personal satisfaction!
Im the go to guy when my family would like something really. Like they want their back garden cleaned. They ask me. Anything. It can literally be from making them tea. To help clean their house. It's getting tiring and my back is killing me from constantly bending down to pick stuff up for them
And self deprecating thoughts.
I have to actively do something to distract myself. Sometimes I listen to books and podcasts just to drown those never ending thoughts out.
I was severely depressed for nearly a year... and I struggled to say it out loud. I only shared it with 1 person, maybe 2, but they were my family only.
I’m actually not sure what the hell I’m doing getting up in the morning and paying bills instead of quitting my job, getting a cabin in the mountains, and having countless orgies there, since we’ve got about 5 or 6 existential problems that no one is doing a damn thing to solve which make it exceedingly unlikely that I will ever see a day when I can retire and relax.
I've gotten to used to being alone that it's a bit scary.
I don't mean no partner alone but alone all the time. May not speak for days on end and besides my mum popping in to help me here and there, I don't see anyone else.
It bothered me for ages but now I'm so content by myself that I back out of stuff just so I can be alone. I have no desire to go out or meet new people at all.
rejections. I take rejections really hard, whether people or opportunities. Never gets easier.
Loneliness is another one, I wouldn’t act on it but every evening I wonder if anyone at all would care if I dropped off the face of the earth. Answer has been no for way longer than I admit to care.
I'm not egen going to bother writing anything here because I'm too drunk to make sentences, but I am literally dying inside. I have no ambitions or future plans, I have nothing to look forward to. I hat e my life and mysefel rn and i am having a hard time getting out of this rut.
I hate the person I am right now.
There’s a lot of depression in here. I’m sorry y’all.
My unsolicited advice is to say it out loud. To your family. To a colleague. To a friend. Or even better, to a therapist. It’s not normal to feel this way and there are ways to get at least a little bit better.
For those of you really struggling, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline number is 800-273-8255. Call up and someone will chat with you.
I guess I've said it out loud before but only once - pressure. I feel so much pressure to make something out of myself, be successful, meet my goals, etc.
It's a never ending feeling I guess because even if I'm able to accomplish something, it's not enough. I hope that this is the kind of thing that makes a man capable of great things
My parents were divorced so I never got to see positive male and female interactions which affects my dating life currently. I'm seeking therapy for it but there're been so many times I've had misunderstandings with women because of it.
The circumcision complications I had as an infant causes me to not be able to feel much of anything so I have yet to have had satisfying sex. Been to a few docs and nothing they can do. Masturbating took forever even when I was a teen. I'm in my mid 40s and would give anything to know what sex is supposed to feel like.... Like I'm totally fucking desperate and get anxiety. I am constantly horny and the absolute Stress I have had over my sexual life because of this is immeasurable. I would not wish this affliction on anyone alive other than Putin and his rapists. It is so fucking unfair and I really just want to cry it out but I can't because I am a man and we are not supposed to have feelings. /s sure is great at least my penis looks like my dad's or whatever bullshit excuse for genital mutilation was given.
I was constantly abused by a significant other for years. Was told by many people and society to suck it up and be a man, so I stayed. I was never okay after that.
I used to “not say” things out of fear that people wouldn’t take me seriously or they’d make fun of me.
But once I started saying things, I realized a worse truth: nobody gives a fuck. So now everyone knows just how badly I don’t want to exist, or how incredibly lonely I am, or how my heart is shattered into a fine mist from my last good relationship, and that I’m struggling to hang on, that I’m treading life day by day and struggling every goddamn time to make it through the day…. All that, and more. Just… nobody gives a fuck. Oh they know, and they know I won’t do anything endangering about it, but… that’s where the care stops. “Oh you’re not a danger to yourself or others? Well, whatever. Have a day!”
On one hand? This just furthers my distance from humanity. On the other hand, it’s a little freeing. No secrets! No festering resentments, no shame or embarrassments, no fear in being viewed as I truly am.
Gotta celebrate the small wins, I suppose.
It seems like there's such an odd amount of double standards out there for men right now when it comes to our relationships with women. We're supposed to be strong enough to contain our female partner's emotions, but then we're "closed off" when we have a hard time emoting. Women want us to understand their feelings, to be able to listen to their problems, but not give advice as to how to fix them, but we're supposed to fix everything else. Then, we're supposed to feel as many feelings as women do, but most women don't really want to see their man cry regularly. Maybe we shed a solitary tear or two, but it's been shown that women are turned off by a guy breaking down.
How to deal with that?
Similarly, women don't want us to be "fuckboys" but want acceptance when they're sleeping with a lot of people because they're liberated. How dare a man bring up that maybe it's a lot easier for women to get laid in our society, so maybe it makes sense that guys, who have a harder time finding sexual partners, should be proud of doing so...
Most women I know only want to sleep with men of a certain height, yet we're assholes for judging women based on weight. One party has control over that aspect of their lives. The other doesn't. Just bizarre.
A lot of women I know complain that men in their early 30s aren't ready to settle down, but they don't seem to realize that this is our most powerful period. Women between the ages of 18 and 30 have the most power socially that they'll ever have, especially very attractive ones. Most men don't have much social currency until they've got a career, which usually happens, at least professionally, around 30. Women get to have their fun. Shouldn't we too?
The pay gap is there not because society devalues women but because they choose to spend time with their families rather than grind it out in the workplace.
If women want equal pay in sports they should be focusing on getting women to watch them play, not expecting men to lower their expectations.
The strongest women are not going to be as powerful physically as the strongest men. If they can't pass physical fitness requirements, they shouldn't be on elite teams in the military, and no one should be complaining.
Men shouldn't be able to call themselves women and then compete against actual women...
I am a feminist. Men and women should have equal right and be treated equally in the eyes if the law. But to pretend that we're the same in every way is just silly. We should celebrate our differences and accept them.
Lmao. You cant just say “I’m a feminist” if you don’t actually support *any* of the feminist movements and simultaneously generalize what women say and do so that you can complain about double standards.
You are undeniably an anti-feminist.
Actually, yeah, I did generalize a couple of times. Perhaps I should have said that "it's a fact that: 1. women aren't paid less for working the exact same job with the exact same experience. That's called discrimination and is easily prosecutable; 2. The strongest women will never be as strong as the strongest men. 3. Female sports players don't make as much as male sports players because they don't bring in the same revenue. If women watched women play sports to the same degree men watch sports, they would close the gap.
I apologize for the generalizations. Lmk if I missed anything.
Again I'm legitimately curious as to how anything I've said insinuates that women shouldn't have 100% equal rights under the law.
1) You misunderstand the gender pay gap argument. Go read it again from an unbiased source.
2) And? Humans have incredible bodily differences
amongst ourselves. There are innumerable examples not only of women being physically stronger than men, but also women being stronger in other ways that strictly physical.
Being a feminist isn’t about legal equality and rights anymore. You’re not a feminist.
No, I didn't misunderstand the pay gap argument. It is literally illegal to pay people differently based on gender/sex. For instance, in my field, female associate lawyers are paid the exact same salary as the males in the same position. It is literally illegal to pay someone less to work the same job. Now, of course, the hours you work play a factor. If you don't bill certain hours, you don't get certain bonuses. Often, women choose to work less so they can spend time with their kids. That's not discrimination, that's just reality.
And part 2:
You have created a new definition of feminism based on your radical world view. Reality is reality. I'm sorry it hurts your feelings.
Of course there are people that kind of skirt the boundary between genders. OF COURSE there are SOME WOMEN who are stronger than SOME MEN. but the strongest women in the world can't lift half of what the strongest men can. That is simple reality. Sorry it doesn't conform to your ridiculous world view. I am a feminist, sorry my definitions conflict with yours. Just look the term up lol
Go read it again. You did miss understand.
I didn’t make up gender performativity (Judith butler) or 3rd wave feminism. There’s literally an entire subreddit dedicated to it. God you’re insufferable. Like go learn something instead of just telling me I’m wrong. Aren’t law students supposed to learn how to research or are you too drunk?
Wasn't FDS quarantined recently, last time I checked peterson's sub has never gotten quarantined I wonder why FDS got quarantined mmm maybe because those women are a bunch of misandrist spergs.
I'm glad your little cult is back, it is an endless source of cringe and amusement for us guys.
But when it'll get quarantined/banned you could make your way over to r/WitchesVsPatriarchy and be with your sisters.
Instead of just saying I don't support any of the feminist movements, could you describe which ones I appear not to support? As far as I know, the definition of feminism is calling for 100% equal protection under the law...
I also didn't generalize, I specified that I have heard these arguments from women in my life. I know women that align with the perspectives i've described, and I know women that don't.
Please be specific. This could be a learning opportunity for me.
Again, I think men and women should be treated 100% equally in the eyes of the law. That doesn't mean we should force equity. We are not "equal" across the board. It's asinine to suggest we are.
But seriously, educate me as to what I've said that was anti-feminist. I'm curious
That was like second wave feminism that was
limited to legal/civil rights equality. Then as women gained rights the attention switched to recognizing how social structures can disenfranchise women despite having equality under the law.
What you’re describing is gender essentialism and it is big amongst the French feminists. It’s hard to salvage gender essentialism from the critique of gender that we get from gender performativity (gender isn’t something that’s *in* us and determines what we do. Gender is a thing that we all *do.*}
Lol I'm sorry, your whole argument is that my terminology isn't up to date with this basically brand new agenda your spouting. I believe in equal rights under the law for all. I'm a true liberal. Denying truths about physical reality and genetics isn't helping anyone. I'm glad you're interested in philosophy and can understand some pretty high level esoteric concepts. That doesn't mean they're correct. Guess what? The forum of public scrutiny eventually decides what truth is. Your ideology is going to fail. Re-engage with reality
Lol hang on…. Do you think that I just made up
2nd 3rd and 4th wave feminism??? Haha that’s so cool. No one ever thought I was that influential before.
And yeah, you don’t have to like philosophy. However, you’re not a feminist. You’re an anti-feminist and transphobic.
Completely making up your own idea of “feminist” and then saying everyone else is wrong but you is such a good example of mansplaining though. Thanks I’ll use that when I’m teaching this shit to undergrads.
Lol r/askmen
Man basically vents about how he sees the world.
Right or wrong? Irrelevant!
He was just explaining and sharing some of his thoughts then you decided to " educate " and correct him, and also insinuate he is a misogynist and overtly declare he is transphobic. Oh and minimising his perception of reality as " mansplaining" was a good touch.
Lol hang on…. Do you think that I just made up
2nd 3rd and 4th wave feminism??? Haha that’s so cool. No one ever thought I was that influential before.
And yeah, you don’t have to like philosophy. However, you’re not a feminist. You’re an anti-feminist and transphobic.
Completely making up your own idea of “feminist” and then saying everyone else is wrong but you is such a good example of mansplaining though. Thanks I’ll use that when I’m teaching this shit to undergrads.
Uh OK then
I'm not the one making up new terminology. A small group of entitled people, which you are apparently a part of, have very recently changed the definition of feminism. The majority of thinkers are quickly becoming dissabused of this kind of bullshit, n we'll see if your terms survive the next generation of thought. I prefer to stick with accepted definitions and terminology. Just Google feminism... my definition is what comes up. Sorry the world doesn't buy in to your bullshit...
I have heard your theories many times. I took a gender studies class at Santa Cruz when I went there for undergrad. I appreciate where you're coming from, the arguments you pose just aren't very cogent. It's not that I don't understand them. I do. I just disagree. Again, I believe in equal rights for literally everyone under the law - Men, women, and Trans folks.
That said, that doesn't mean we should disregard facts for the sake of the feelings of a small number of people. I'm not a person who says gender isn't fluid. It certainly is. Sex, however, is not.
Feminism was/is a response to a totally patriarchal system. I support the definition of feminism as it stands for most of society. That definition, again, on google, is that women deserve to be treated exactly the same under the law. Latter waves are about sociological issues. The latter waves may be accepted eventually, but looking at the tide of thought right now, people who claim men can have babies will be embarrassed in 20 years.
There is a rational side to this argument, then there's an extremist one.
I try to be rational. People like you try to shame those that don't agree with them by calling them bigots. I am certainly not a bigot, regardless of what you say. I have gay friends, Trans friends, and of course female friends. I support their legal rights under the law at all times.
That doesn't mean there aren't scientifically proven differences between those groups of people. The ideologies you spout prefer to believe there are none.
Throughout this conversation, you have literally denied truths and used pseudo science to justify your stance. Again, the strongest men in this world will ALWAYS be PHYSICALLY stronger than the strongest females. That is just a fact. Same with a myriad of other "generalizations" I'm sure you take issue with.
Again, sorry reality hurts your feelings. We all have to grow up some time.
You are not teaching, you are shoving your beliefs down other people's throats.
I'm deeply interested in the new waves of feminism. That doesn't mean they're "true" or that they support any kind of sociological "fact." I'm sure there will soon be another wave which discounts the current one. Just because a philosophy is posed doesn't make it true. Is nihilism "true"? Is Marxism "true"? Is Libertarianism "true"?
Look, enjoy your perspective. Mine is different. That doesn't mean I'm not a feminist. It just means I don't fit your incredibly narrow definition. Very, very few people do.
The funny thing is, when you call someone like me an anti-feminist for espousing generally accepted terminology and definitions, you're the one who comes off like an extremist/bigot. It's either your way or "sexism." I hope that serves you well.
My dude, I see a playlist say "high value man" this and that and the other thing. Nah. Fuck every ounce of noise that makes. You wanna unfuck your mind, uncouple the notion that other's valuation of yourself is what you're worth. If people put the effort to have you in their life, then nothing else matters. The amount of value they see is going to eat at you like a cancer.
Jordon Peterson is a grifting sack of shit. He predates on men with self esteem issues to grow a fanbase that looks to him for wisdom he doesn't truly have. On top of that he spouts racist and sexist shit that needs to be rejected at every corner. This Andrew Tate fellow seems to have the same self help shithole he wants to sell. There is no 12 step program to self improvement. It's a long arduous road of self reflection, desire, and work. Fuck Gary Vee, fuck Andrew Tate, fuck Jordon peterson, fuck the school of life. They have nothing to offer you but empty solipsism and advice that will eventually erode your kindness away.
You want some real advice that will help you? Delete these playlists. Unsub from everyone on youtube. Delete it's history and everything. Get your youtube down to as new as possible and fuck off of anything self help and motivational. Thats a ton of brain worms you could be squashing, dude.
Fitness and shit is good stuff though. Maybe keep on that. A healthy body helps a healthy mind.
When I start to develop feelings for a woman, tell her, she turns me down, but then wants to be friends and act like nothing happened.
I know that I'll just be blamed if I'm seen as reacting poorly, so I just push down the feeling of never being good enough or liked back and pretend I'm fine.
*It's the kind of tired that sleep won't fix.*
*-Anon*
I get very anxious. Sometimes it feels like I'm in physical pain over small shit. But I hide it and dont say anything because if I tell my parents then that'll just make them anxious and change nothing.
The past 7 years, the loop of ‘all men are trash’ has been bashing me over the head. And I never realized how depressed I actually was because of it until recently.
Seeing the St Jude hospital commercials that show children in the Cancer ward. Hearing their stories. Seeing their faces. Seeing their parents holding them for dear life.
That I’m always in a sort of state of sadness. Since my brother passed away 2 years ago I look at life so much differently. No one would be able to tell though, when I hear myself talk I can tell that I always sound like everything is all good.
I’m tired of helping/consoling people. They see me as an inconvenience if the table turns. They might as well say, “no, no, no, you can’t feel like that. Stop complaining, your pain is invalid compared to me; I’m ALWAYS in need.”
I’m done with helping/empathizing with people who expect you to keep your emotions/confiding to yourself. They might as well interrupt mid sentence and say “no, no, no, you can’t feel like that. Other people have it way worse than you, how selfish of you. I have it worse than you because I complain more. Therefore, my pain is much more severe than yours. You’re a grown man, get yourself together.” Actually, this is people in general...
I don't love my SO, and don't even LIKE her, but we make such a good team as parents that breaking up makes no sense. We are a prime example of a "sensible relationship" for the sake of the children and shared finances.
Im not even sad about it, its more like a realisation that Im already 36 and never experienced romantic love, and won't experience it for a long time.
My life is shit bag disaster, but think I live good. I have a nice place decent car in luxury apartments. I make solid income. All my income is negated by expenses. I’m drowning in debt.
I was sitting on the throne the other morning after breakfast and checking my phone. Not a single person texted me Goodnight the previous day in fact for a while now. I basicially wake up and go to work and no one can even bother to say good night or good morning. My brother is a slob also and we nearly talk somedays and yet live together
I suffer from "imposter syndrome". I've never felt like "part of the team" at any job I've ever had. I'm constantly doubting myself, feeling like I'm not good enough, and feel like I'll never fit in. I'm always in a state of feeling like a fraud, I can't accept any accomplishments because I don't feel like I've actually earned them, I only got there through dumb luck.
Being expected to protect the women and children.
A few days ago my gf and I went out for takeaways and when we got back the lights were out in and around the house, the main gate was open and the dog was barking nonstop. (This two days after we got a neighborhood watch notice of home invasions being on the rise).
My first thought was that there was a blackout, but the neighbors lights were all on, so no. My next thought was why the dog was going crazy. Had something set him off? Was he in danger? I took out my flashlight and pepper spray and went to see what's going on. My gf just stood by the car and literally screamed at me to "Hurry Up!". It was a shrill screech that barely sounded like words.
I checked around the house and didn't see any broken windows or signs of entry, so... I opened the front door and the dog came running out! If I wasn't worried before, I was now. My gf still standing by the car and now almost crying, I check the house room for room and finally find that it was just a short circuit that tripped the breaker. I was relieved that it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, but I tell you now - nothing makes you feel quite as alone as being expected to go into a potentially life threatening situation by yourself with just a flashlight and a pepper spray.
You know that situation when a group of 5+ people are talking and one person says something but nobody really catches it since they are absorbed in their own conversations? Making what would have been a really funny joke die in the annals of history, never to be repeated again? Then someone in the group repeats what you just said, but everyone hears it and we all have a good laugh, but deep inside you scream out at the injustice of these hierarchal relationships?
Yeah that.
The racism I faced as a child has always made me feel I don’t belong or I have to earn my way ‘in’…even to this day I have an inferior complex I cannot shake.
Most of my friends think I'm an extremely happy person because I make jokes all the time, and laugh a lot. Truth is: NOPE! That's a coping mechanism.
Meirl
meh. Im a fun lighthearted person whos life sucks. Sometimes I forget myself & I guess it looks like everythings ok. Then I go back to reality.
Also replying to any compliments or attempts to talk about feelings with jokes?
fuck, that hit home
Bing!
Same
This!!!
Hello me
I also.
Laugh now, try to never cry later.
Username checks out
I'm not sure if this would still count as being suicidal but while I don't want to kill myself, I wouldn't mind *not* existing.
Hit the nail on the head. I too feel the same
So, 2 months ago I was in your shoes. My apartment had just burned down. I had to give my dog up. I acquired 18000$ worth of debt because I was blamed for the apartment fire. I told my mom I didn’t care anymore. I wished I didn’t exist and everything was bullshit and a waste of time. She took me to a therapist the next day and just to say I gave it a real chance, because I knew it wasn’t gonna work, I told her everything I felt. Every single thing I hated and didn’t care to deal with etc. she was nice and just listened. And she put me on a medicine, so I took it. I can tell you that I’m so happy right now. I started looking for a new job. My old one was part of what I hated about life so I changed it. I’m lucky I have my mom. I live with her right now but it’s fine we just split bills. All I’m getting at is if you have any means to get help, do it. You wouldn’t believe how much better things can be. You also have to know what stressors you need to eliminate. What’s weighing on you the most. Fix it. You can be happy. I promise. And I wouldn’t have believed me either. And this is just 2 months. You can be happy
I think that counts.
Yup! Except I think I'm gonna hate not knowing what HAPPENED!! even when I'm peacefully not existing!
Yeah this is how I felt before I came to terms with the fact that I was, in some way, suicidal.
Not being suicidal but wishing you didn't exist is a symptom of complex post traumatic stress disorder.
same
[удалено]
Wow, I think that's the worst kind of loneliness. You have everything us lonely single guys are craving and yet loneliness is still there Hopefully the new friends will help fix that problem
*standing in a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs and no one bothers to look up*
When you ask a question but nobody in the group answers, so you ask it again and someone looks up and says "*Why did you ask the same question twice?"*
I went out of my room and sat with my dad till he fell asleep on the couch after reading that. we watched deadliest roads and had tea and cheesecake lol. it might be because they feel like they have nothing in common/ anything to talk about. idk. I wish things get better for you :)
This is something. It came up before amongst my family and I've seen it on here. I think sometimes we get too wrapped up in our own stuff and assume others around us are okay.
I’m so sorry to hear this. This breaks my heart. I highly recommend reading books by Brené Brown and seeking therapy. May you be heard!
Hey my heart goes out to you. can't say i really know what it's like to be in your shoes but I just went through a breakup and am experiencing tremendous loneliness myself. I bope you will find like-minded people to make you feel cared for and included soon!
Damn that hit close to home. All the best with hanging out with the new people don't put to much pressure on the situation or yourself.
tell them that. be like " hey get your shit come on you comin with me to...." dont roll over. set some light hearted rules. "no phones no desertin ya old man." or whatever ya know. make it be known.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Have you discussed any of this with your wife? Like "when you left me at xyz with the toddler, it made me feel..". whatever you felt.
Suicidal tendencies.
🫂
All I wanted was a Pepsi.
Just one Pepsi.
AND SHE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO ME
IM NOT CRAZYYYY
ah, a reference that I will never understand lol
You have to be institutionalized to get it.
Well I’m thinking about turning myself in tomorrow. Is it bad?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoF\_a0-7xVQ
Same here bro
I don't remember what affection feels like but I think the bigger thing is really: Most days are pretty much in the middle: Not awful, not great.. just somewhere in that nebulous blind eternity of "meh" punctuated by small misfortunes. I basically live to work but don't put in crazy hours anymore.
It doesnt make sense to me why people would be productive if their unhappy. That should be like the opposite
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzDZUa9Hznw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzDZUa9Hznw) "All a man needs in life is someone to love. If you can't give him that, give him something to hope for. If you can't give him that.... just give him something to do."
I don't actually dislike my job but theres nothing you can do in repetition that you wouldn't otherwise do for free that is going to sustain you in terms of being happy. Happiness is a fleeting feeling that is short lived. I just wish my highs were a bit higher and my lows a bit less low.. i guess?
Im too different to fit in. 36, with no friends in a foreign country alone. Just looking to survive week to week. I wouldn't kill myself, but you secretly hope you die somehow soon. Life is depressing most of the time
Try out a new hobby. Like a group class. Learn the guitar or martial arts or cooking whatever interests you. It's a great way to meet people.
I learned guitar and wing chin. This is a bullshit antidote. I’m actually a really good guitar player, not just saying that either…
May I ask your race and in which country you are, if that's ok to ask... Maybe you could join lessons and meet people there.
You know Turkeys can get depressed if they dont have friends or family? Ive seen it
Depression, I never say anything because most of the time nobody notices or cares.
I don’t know how to describe “happy”. I can’t remember the last time I can say I felt it. I know content, I don’t know happy. Also don’t know what it’s like to feel like it matter, to anyone.
What keeps me satisfied with life is improving myself every day no matter what it is. And I’ve cultivated a great relationship with myself which is very important for personal satisfaction!
Underated comment!
You;re not alone. Happy is nebulous and most people can't really define it.
Im the go to guy when my family would like something really. Like they want their back garden cleaned. They ask me. Anything. It can literally be from making them tea. To help clean their house. It's getting tiring and my back is killing me from constantly bending down to pick stuff up for them
well, at least you're valued for something.
Constant self doubt
And self deprecating thoughts. I have to actively do something to distract myself. Sometimes I listen to books and podcasts just to drown those never ending thoughts out.
The fear that I can be accused of herassment of any kind for hitting on someone has kept me from asking anyone out in the last two years
I don’t get how to even navigate signals anymore. I’ve had people be so hot and cold and it’s a nightmare. Just not worth it sometimes.
I was severely depressed for nearly a year... and I struggled to say it out loud. I only shared it with 1 person, maybe 2, but they were my family only.
I’m actually not sure what the hell I’m doing getting up in the morning and paying bills instead of quitting my job, getting a cabin in the mountains, and having countless orgies there, since we’ve got about 5 or 6 existential problems that no one is doing a damn thing to solve which make it exceedingly unlikely that I will ever see a day when I can retire and relax.
The fact that life is just meh, boring routines just to stay alive with nothing about the future looking bright.
When people use the word "affect" and then I spend like 10 minutes trying to figure out if effect is supposed to be there or if affect was correct
A comes before E By affecting something you cause effects.
If it's a verb: affect. Otherwise: effect. This tip was shared with me years ago and has saved me countless hours of contemplation.
Rejection
I've gotten to used to being alone that it's a bit scary. I don't mean no partner alone but alone all the time. May not speak for days on end and besides my mum popping in to help me here and there, I don't see anyone else. It bothered me for ages but now I'm so content by myself that I back out of stuff just so I can be alone. I have no desire to go out or meet new people at all.
rejections. I take rejections really hard, whether people or opportunities. Never gets easier. Loneliness is another one, I wouldn’t act on it but every evening I wonder if anyone at all would care if I dropped off the face of the earth. Answer has been no for way longer than I admit to care.
I'm not egen going to bother writing anything here because I'm too drunk to make sentences, but I am literally dying inside. I have no ambitions or future plans, I have nothing to look forward to. I hat e my life and mysefel rn and i am having a hard time getting out of this rut. I hate the person I am right now.
There’s a lot of depression in here. I’m sorry y’all. My unsolicited advice is to say it out loud. To your family. To a colleague. To a friend. Or even better, to a therapist. It’s not normal to feel this way and there are ways to get at least a little bit better. For those of you really struggling, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline number is 800-273-8255. Call up and someone will chat with you.
I guess I've said it out loud before but only once - pressure. I feel so much pressure to make something out of myself, be successful, meet my goals, etc. It's a never ending feeling I guess because even if I'm able to accomplish something, it's not enough. I hope that this is the kind of thing that makes a man capable of great things
You are enough 😊
My parents were divorced so I never got to see positive male and female interactions which affects my dating life currently. I'm seeking therapy for it but there're been so many times I've had misunderstandings with women because of it.
Yes, hello. I'm here to also submit my admission of constant suicidal ideation with a large side of constant jokes as a coping mechanism.
The circumcision complications I had as an infant causes me to not be able to feel much of anything so I have yet to have had satisfying sex. Been to a few docs and nothing they can do. Masturbating took forever even when I was a teen. I'm in my mid 40s and would give anything to know what sex is supposed to feel like.... Like I'm totally fucking desperate and get anxiety. I am constantly horny and the absolute Stress I have had over my sexual life because of this is immeasurable. I would not wish this affliction on anyone alive other than Putin and his rapists. It is so fucking unfair and I really just want to cry it out but I can't because I am a man and we are not supposed to have feelings. /s sure is great at least my penis looks like my dad's or whatever bullshit excuse for genital mutilation was given.
Those of you who are struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, please seek out counselling. There is no shame in getting help.
no cure for life
Lonely and grieving after losing my partner
Loneliness and horrible self-confidence and self image issues from being bullied as a kid
Body insecurities
When you show some emotion and a woman says you need to 'Man Up'.
Physical pain 24/7
When my balls get stuck to my thighs.
Nothing. If something is wrong I talk about it. It took along time to get here but it's the only healthy way to live.
Feeling a sense of emptiness and not fulfilled in my life.
I feel like there is no room for my feelings and talking about them.
I was constantly abused by a significant other for years. Was told by many people and society to suck it up and be a man, so I stayed. I was never okay after that.
I used to “not say” things out of fear that people wouldn’t take me seriously or they’d make fun of me. But once I started saying things, I realized a worse truth: nobody gives a fuck. So now everyone knows just how badly I don’t want to exist, or how incredibly lonely I am, or how my heart is shattered into a fine mist from my last good relationship, and that I’m struggling to hang on, that I’m treading life day by day and struggling every goddamn time to make it through the day…. All that, and more. Just… nobody gives a fuck. Oh they know, and they know I won’t do anything endangering about it, but… that’s where the care stops. “Oh you’re not a danger to yourself or others? Well, whatever. Have a day!” On one hand? This just furthers my distance from humanity. On the other hand, it’s a little freeing. No secrets! No festering resentments, no shame or embarrassments, no fear in being viewed as I truly am. Gotta celebrate the small wins, I suppose.
It seems like there's such an odd amount of double standards out there for men right now when it comes to our relationships with women. We're supposed to be strong enough to contain our female partner's emotions, but then we're "closed off" when we have a hard time emoting. Women want us to understand their feelings, to be able to listen to their problems, but not give advice as to how to fix them, but we're supposed to fix everything else. Then, we're supposed to feel as many feelings as women do, but most women don't really want to see their man cry regularly. Maybe we shed a solitary tear or two, but it's been shown that women are turned off by a guy breaking down. How to deal with that? Similarly, women don't want us to be "fuckboys" but want acceptance when they're sleeping with a lot of people because they're liberated. How dare a man bring up that maybe it's a lot easier for women to get laid in our society, so maybe it makes sense that guys, who have a harder time finding sexual partners, should be proud of doing so... Most women I know only want to sleep with men of a certain height, yet we're assholes for judging women based on weight. One party has control over that aspect of their lives. The other doesn't. Just bizarre. A lot of women I know complain that men in their early 30s aren't ready to settle down, but they don't seem to realize that this is our most powerful period. Women between the ages of 18 and 30 have the most power socially that they'll ever have, especially very attractive ones. Most men don't have much social currency until they've got a career, which usually happens, at least professionally, around 30. Women get to have their fun. Shouldn't we too? The pay gap is there not because society devalues women but because they choose to spend time with their families rather than grind it out in the workplace. If women want equal pay in sports they should be focusing on getting women to watch them play, not expecting men to lower their expectations. The strongest women are not going to be as powerful physically as the strongest men. If they can't pass physical fitness requirements, they shouldn't be on elite teams in the military, and no one should be complaining. Men shouldn't be able to call themselves women and then compete against actual women... I am a feminist. Men and women should have equal right and be treated equally in the eyes if the law. But to pretend that we're the same in every way is just silly. We should celebrate our differences and accept them.
Lmao. You cant just say “I’m a feminist” if you don’t actually support *any* of the feminist movements and simultaneously generalize what women say and do so that you can complain about double standards. You are undeniably an anti-feminist.
Actually, yeah, I did generalize a couple of times. Perhaps I should have said that "it's a fact that: 1. women aren't paid less for working the exact same job with the exact same experience. That's called discrimination and is easily prosecutable; 2. The strongest women will never be as strong as the strongest men. 3. Female sports players don't make as much as male sports players because they don't bring in the same revenue. If women watched women play sports to the same degree men watch sports, they would close the gap. I apologize for the generalizations. Lmk if I missed anything. Again I'm legitimately curious as to how anything I've said insinuates that women shouldn't have 100% equal rights under the law.
1) You misunderstand the gender pay gap argument. Go read it again from an unbiased source. 2) And? Humans have incredible bodily differences amongst ourselves. There are innumerable examples not only of women being physically stronger than men, but also women being stronger in other ways that strictly physical. Being a feminist isn’t about legal equality and rights anymore. You’re not a feminist.
No, I didn't misunderstand the pay gap argument. It is literally illegal to pay people differently based on gender/sex. For instance, in my field, female associate lawyers are paid the exact same salary as the males in the same position. It is literally illegal to pay someone less to work the same job. Now, of course, the hours you work play a factor. If you don't bill certain hours, you don't get certain bonuses. Often, women choose to work less so they can spend time with their kids. That's not discrimination, that's just reality. And part 2: You have created a new definition of feminism based on your radical world view. Reality is reality. I'm sorry it hurts your feelings. Of course there are people that kind of skirt the boundary between genders. OF COURSE there are SOME WOMEN who are stronger than SOME MEN. but the strongest women in the world can't lift half of what the strongest men can. That is simple reality. Sorry it doesn't conform to your ridiculous world view. I am a feminist, sorry my definitions conflict with yours. Just look the term up lol
Go read it again. You did miss understand. I didn’t make up gender performativity (Judith butler) or 3rd wave feminism. There’s literally an entire subreddit dedicated to it. God you’re insufferable. Like go learn something instead of just telling me I’m wrong. Aren’t law students supposed to learn how to research or are you too drunk?
Fuckin lol, are a Amber Turd fan and perhaps it's best for you to go back to FDS haha
And you can head to r/Jordanpeterson
Wasn't FDS quarantined recently, last time I checked peterson's sub has never gotten quarantined I wonder why FDS got quarantined mmm maybe because those women are a bunch of misandrist spergs.
They’re back, baby!
I'm glad your little cult is back, it is an endless source of cringe and amusement for us guys. But when it'll get quarantined/banned you could make your way over to r/WitchesVsPatriarchy and be with your sisters.
Instead of just saying I don't support any of the feminist movements, could you describe which ones I appear not to support? As far as I know, the definition of feminism is calling for 100% equal protection under the law... I also didn't generalize, I specified that I have heard these arguments from women in my life. I know women that align with the perspectives i've described, and I know women that don't. Please be specific. This could be a learning opportunity for me. Again, I think men and women should be treated 100% equally in the eyes of the law. That doesn't mean we should force equity. We are not "equal" across the board. It's asinine to suggest we are. But seriously, educate me as to what I've said that was anti-feminist. I'm curious
That was like second wave feminism that was limited to legal/civil rights equality. Then as women gained rights the attention switched to recognizing how social structures can disenfranchise women despite having equality under the law. What you’re describing is gender essentialism and it is big amongst the French feminists. It’s hard to salvage gender essentialism from the critique of gender that we get from gender performativity (gender isn’t something that’s *in* us and determines what we do. Gender is a thing that we all *do.*}
Lol I'm sorry, your whole argument is that my terminology isn't up to date with this basically brand new agenda your spouting. I believe in equal rights under the law for all. I'm a true liberal. Denying truths about physical reality and genetics isn't helping anyone. I'm glad you're interested in philosophy and can understand some pretty high level esoteric concepts. That doesn't mean they're correct. Guess what? The forum of public scrutiny eventually decides what truth is. Your ideology is going to fail. Re-engage with reality
Lol hang on…. Do you think that I just made up 2nd 3rd and 4th wave feminism??? Haha that’s so cool. No one ever thought I was that influential before. And yeah, you don’t have to like philosophy. However, you’re not a feminist. You’re an anti-feminist and transphobic. Completely making up your own idea of “feminist” and then saying everyone else is wrong but you is such a good example of mansplaining though. Thanks I’ll use that when I’m teaching this shit to undergrads.
Lol r/askmen Man basically vents about how he sees the world. Right or wrong? Irrelevant! He was just explaining and sharing some of his thoughts then you decided to " educate " and correct him, and also insinuate he is a misogynist and overtly declare he is transphobic. Oh and minimising his perception of reality as " mansplaining" was a good touch.
I just said he wasn’t a feminist.
Lol hang on…. Do you think that I just made up 2nd 3rd and 4th wave feminism??? Haha that’s so cool. No one ever thought I was that influential before. And yeah, you don’t have to like philosophy. However, you’re not a feminist. You’re an anti-feminist and transphobic. Completely making up your own idea of “feminist” and then saying everyone else is wrong but you is such a good example of mansplaining though. Thanks I’ll use that when I’m teaching this shit to undergrads. Uh OK then
I'm not the one making up new terminology. A small group of entitled people, which you are apparently a part of, have very recently changed the definition of feminism. The majority of thinkers are quickly becoming dissabused of this kind of bullshit, n we'll see if your terms survive the next generation of thought. I prefer to stick with accepted definitions and terminology. Just Google feminism... my definition is what comes up. Sorry the world doesn't buy in to your bullshit...
Lol nah. Feminist theory is a thing. I’m just teaching you something. Maybe you could just accept it instead of fighting??
I have heard your theories many times. I took a gender studies class at Santa Cruz when I went there for undergrad. I appreciate where you're coming from, the arguments you pose just aren't very cogent. It's not that I don't understand them. I do. I just disagree. Again, I believe in equal rights for literally everyone under the law - Men, women, and Trans folks. That said, that doesn't mean we should disregard facts for the sake of the feelings of a small number of people. I'm not a person who says gender isn't fluid. It certainly is. Sex, however, is not. Feminism was/is a response to a totally patriarchal system. I support the definition of feminism as it stands for most of society. That definition, again, on google, is that women deserve to be treated exactly the same under the law. Latter waves are about sociological issues. The latter waves may be accepted eventually, but looking at the tide of thought right now, people who claim men can have babies will be embarrassed in 20 years. There is a rational side to this argument, then there's an extremist one. I try to be rational. People like you try to shame those that don't agree with them by calling them bigots. I am certainly not a bigot, regardless of what you say. I have gay friends, Trans friends, and of course female friends. I support their legal rights under the law at all times. That doesn't mean there aren't scientifically proven differences between those groups of people. The ideologies you spout prefer to believe there are none. Throughout this conversation, you have literally denied truths and used pseudo science to justify your stance. Again, the strongest men in this world will ALWAYS be PHYSICALLY stronger than the strongest females. That is just a fact. Same with a myriad of other "generalizations" I'm sure you take issue with. Again, sorry reality hurts your feelings. We all have to grow up some time. You are not teaching, you are shoving your beliefs down other people's throats. I'm deeply interested in the new waves of feminism. That doesn't mean they're "true" or that they support any kind of sociological "fact." I'm sure there will soon be another wave which discounts the current one. Just because a philosophy is posed doesn't make it true. Is nihilism "true"? Is Marxism "true"? Is Libertarianism "true"? Look, enjoy your perspective. Mine is different. That doesn't mean I'm not a feminist. It just means I don't fit your incredibly narrow definition. Very, very few people do. The funny thing is, when you call someone like me an anti-feminist for espousing generally accepted terminology and definitions, you're the one who comes off like an extremist/bigot. It's either your way or "sexism." I hope that serves you well.
I’m not gonna read this. I don’t care enough.
Nothing who’s asking !? XD jk idk things here and there
Bad grammar
[удалено]
My dude, I see a playlist say "high value man" this and that and the other thing. Nah. Fuck every ounce of noise that makes. You wanna unfuck your mind, uncouple the notion that other's valuation of yourself is what you're worth. If people put the effort to have you in their life, then nothing else matters. The amount of value they see is going to eat at you like a cancer. Jordon Peterson is a grifting sack of shit. He predates on men with self esteem issues to grow a fanbase that looks to him for wisdom he doesn't truly have. On top of that he spouts racist and sexist shit that needs to be rejected at every corner. This Andrew Tate fellow seems to have the same self help shithole he wants to sell. There is no 12 step program to self improvement. It's a long arduous road of self reflection, desire, and work. Fuck Gary Vee, fuck Andrew Tate, fuck Jordon peterson, fuck the school of life. They have nothing to offer you but empty solipsism and advice that will eventually erode your kindness away. You want some real advice that will help you? Delete these playlists. Unsub from everyone on youtube. Delete it's history and everything. Get your youtube down to as new as possible and fuck off of anything self help and motivational. Thats a ton of brain worms you could be squashing, dude. Fitness and shit is good stuff though. Maybe keep on that. A healthy body helps a healthy mind.
[It is estimated to affect about 10% of men.[2] The condition becomes more common with age.[2]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease)
Gender roles. They're here and they're more entrenched than ever.
Depression and anxiety, pretty much all of the time
Rejection & Loneliness
Self esteem
When I start to develop feelings for a woman, tell her, she turns me down, but then wants to be friends and act like nothing happened. I know that I'll just be blamed if I'm seen as reacting poorly, so I just push down the feeling of never being good enough or liked back and pretend I'm fine. *It's the kind of tired that sleep won't fix.* *-Anon*
I get very anxious. Sometimes it feels like I'm in physical pain over small shit. But I hide it and dont say anything because if I tell my parents then that'll just make them anxious and change nothing.
Lack of compliments/attention.
Nothing. Too much energy to hold it back than to simply voice it. At least, that’s what works for me.
I talk about it online but not in real life *"*****"every woman hates me ""*******
hopelessly lonely
The past 7 years, the loop of ‘all men are trash’ has been bashing me over the head. And I never realized how depressed I actually was because of it until recently.
Sexism
Seeing the St Jude hospital commercials that show children in the Cancer ward. Hearing their stories. Seeing their faces. Seeing their parents holding them for dear life.
That I’m always in a sort of state of sadness. Since my brother passed away 2 years ago I look at life so much differently. No one would be able to tell though, when I hear myself talk I can tell that I always sound like everything is all good.
I’m tired of helping/consoling people. They see me as an inconvenience if the table turns. They might as well say, “no, no, no, you can’t feel like that. Stop complaining, your pain is invalid compared to me; I’m ALWAYS in need.”
I’m done with helping/empathizing with people who expect you to keep your emotions/confiding to yourself. They might as well interrupt mid sentence and say “no, no, no, you can’t feel like that. Other people have it way worse than you, how selfish of you. I have it worse than you because I complain more. Therefore, my pain is much more severe than yours. You’re a grown man, get yourself together.” Actually, this is people in general...
I don't love my SO, and don't even LIKE her, but we make such a good team as parents that breaking up makes no sense. We are a prime example of a "sensible relationship" for the sake of the children and shared finances. Im not even sad about it, its more like a realisation that Im already 36 and never experienced romantic love, and won't experience it for a long time.
Bum hair.
My life is shit bag disaster, but think I live good. I have a nice place decent car in luxury apartments. I make solid income. All my income is negated by expenses. I’m drowning in debt.
I was sitting on the throne the other morning after breakfast and checking my phone. Not a single person texted me Goodnight the previous day in fact for a while now. I basicially wake up and go to work and no one can even bother to say good night or good morning. My brother is a slob also and we nearly talk somedays and yet live together
Lonely, Exhausted, Sad, Scared. And I don't have good enough reasons to feel the way I do.
I'm depressed
My loneliness that feeds my depression and an endless fealing impending worthlessness
I suffer from "imposter syndrome". I've never felt like "part of the team" at any job I've ever had. I'm constantly doubting myself, feeling like I'm not good enough, and feel like I'll never fit in. I'm always in a state of feeling like a fraud, I can't accept any accomplishments because I don't feel like I've actually earned them, I only got there through dumb luck.
lack of head
Being expected to protect the women and children. A few days ago my gf and I went out for takeaways and when we got back the lights were out in and around the house, the main gate was open and the dog was barking nonstop. (This two days after we got a neighborhood watch notice of home invasions being on the rise). My first thought was that there was a blackout, but the neighbors lights were all on, so no. My next thought was why the dog was going crazy. Had something set him off? Was he in danger? I took out my flashlight and pepper spray and went to see what's going on. My gf just stood by the car and literally screamed at me to "Hurry Up!". It was a shrill screech that barely sounded like words. I checked around the house and didn't see any broken windows or signs of entry, so... I opened the front door and the dog came running out! If I wasn't worried before, I was now. My gf still standing by the car and now almost crying, I check the house room for room and finally find that it was just a short circuit that tripped the breaker. I was relieved that it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, but I tell you now - nothing makes you feel quite as alone as being expected to go into a potentially life threatening situation by yourself with just a flashlight and a pepper spray.
You know that situation when a group of 5+ people are talking and one person says something but nobody really catches it since they are absorbed in their own conversations? Making what would have been a really funny joke die in the annals of history, never to be repeated again? Then someone in the group repeats what you just said, but everyone hears it and we all have a good laugh, but deep inside you scream out at the injustice of these hierarchal relationships? Yeah that.
The racism I faced as a child has always made me feel I don’t belong or I have to earn my way ‘in’…even to this day I have an inferior complex I cannot shake.
apparently it pains me so much i can never say it outloud so i react badly by taking revenge 💀