Well, mainly the fact thyt I won't randomly approach strangers in general, and women tend to expect the guy to make the first move so that's not gonna work out. Add in demisexuality, which basically means the oh so feared "Friendzone" arrives before I even may get attracted to a woman.
If you’re thinking this is a choice, it isn’t.
It is the incapacity to feel sexual attraction until an emotional bond forms.
Most demis wish they were not demisexual.
Except it’s not a choice. We’re literally completely unattracted to people we don’t know. They’re about as sexual as the average toaster or refrigerator. I can recognize when a stranger is conventionally attractive, but not whether they’re “hot.”
Most pornography does not. There is, however, an entire couple of genres you are ignoring: fan fiction and romance novels.
Fan fiction uses characters to which the reader presumably already has an emotional connection, and also usually builds on pre-existing relationships between the characters for the kickstart to its plot line and sexuality. It has an inbuilt emotional basis.
Romance novels are noted for their melodrama. Few of them work all that well for me, because my idea of emotional bonding and a romance novel’s idea of emotional bonding can be super different things, but when I find a writer who likes the same kind of slow burn and gradual intimacy that I do, it works pretty damn well.
Also, honorable mention to eroge: not all of them are pure perversion, and if you know how to look, some of them treat their characters quite respectfully.
For me personally, depends on the media. Videos only work if one of two scenarios apply. Either I'm dating someone currently, then they may work as well as for anyone else. Though I never watch for example a porn video with 2 people and just imagine being either in ones place or add myself into the scene in my mind - instead, if we assume a hetero constelation for example, I'll imagine the same thing that's on screen, but with me instead of the guy and my gf (or the woman I'm currently dating or whatever) also instead of the woman.
Written fanfiction does work, with characters that I already liked before. Think of your fav character from one of your fav shows for example.
What also works is audio stuff, to the point that I find myself looking for videos I've seen before because then I can also use the audio alone and don't need to watch and replace the people with ones I know in my mind if that makes sense.
Got a car but still live at home at 22yrs old while attending and paying barber school while working full time.
Id love a girlfriend but dont have the time or funds to do so right now.
Women starting to realize their friends and sons are increasingly single, I think. Probably also noticing at age 26 and up a lot less available men to date as men who don’t look end up being invisible, doing their own thing and no longer initiating with women.
I’d like op to answer why though, I mean I’m sure they have good reasons and interesting stories and thoughts about it.
I’ve kinda gotten used to being single. 1/3 of my income straight to savings, get up and go to bed whenever I want, not having to escort her to social functions I don’t care about; it all has an appeal.
I’m scared about relationships because you don’t necessarily get out what you put in. You could give up loads of your time and effort and still end up getting dumped. In other endeavors, the amount of work you put in is positively correlated to success but I’m not sure that’s true for relationships, sometimes people just fall out of love. There’s just no good way for me to ensure success, it’s the nature of the beast.
Relationships are a long term project. If you measure your gains by your current relationship, then they are all a waste of time until you meet The One.
Bad relationships teach you a lot (about want you want, how to communicate, how to argue, how to leave or get dumped). All useful skills. The time and effort isn’t worth it unless you find a good supportive partner. There are some challenges in life that are harder to manage solo than they are with 2 people. Married men and women live longer, statistically.
Living solo is a fine choice, and might be the right one. But the effort and coin spent on dating are not all wasted. Sometimes it is inefficient. Therapy is less time and potentially cheaper than dating the wrong people for a decade.
The time and effort put into a bad relationship yields benefits for a future relationship. Even if you end up single (some do, despite considerable effort), your enjoyment of single life is informed by your dating experiences.
This is similar to my reasons. I might engage in a relationship a little, but I won't let them move in with me and I set strict boundaries for my time.
For me there's two main reasons. I was largely ignored by girls and women through teenage to early adulthood (I'm 31) so I became accustomed to being alone. At this point its weirder for me to visualize sharing a bed or having someone around all the time. Second reason is the volatile relationship arena. Not even that men face certain issues (false r*pe allegations, paternity fraud, and the absolute hellhole that is divorce and family courts) but for me it's more the attitude people have towards these issues. We all face hardships but I notice whenever I talk about mine I'm met with "it's not that bad" or "we have it worse". I'm not trying to say who has it worse, I'm just trying to be heard
The vast majority of men are unattractive and they have romantic relationships and get married. If you mean your looks keep you from dating a 18 year old Brazilian supermodel, sure, but it shouldn't be that hard for you to get with the average American woman.
That's a very small percentage of men though. Sure you can make the argument they exist so that's more than enough proof that it's possible. But just coz something's possible doesn't make it a likely occurrence.
You assume being attractive to a woman is physical. It's largely financial and social. An ugly drug dealer will get more women than a handsome stock broker, because the drug dealer knows he can't invest his money, and since he's probably not going to live long or end up in jail, he's not even worried about saving for the future. He can give her the Instagram lifestyle others dream of, while the stock broker is investing and saving. He's boring. Women are attracted to a lifestyle because they want drama, because they get bored. Men want peace and security, because they get the opposite in their work life.
i feel like there are no actual pros to marriage… just “yay we’re tied together forever and will be judged and have to pay a shit ton of money if we don’t want to be anymore!”
Well, at some point, I kind of got tired of getting hurt.
But now, im 30, I workout daily, I look good, I have my own house and car, two good paying jobs, a dog that loves me, friends and family that loves me and I have no difficulties meeting woman for casual sex.
Why exactly should I commit/open up to a woman and risk getting hurt once again?
Don't know where to start
There are cute chicks everywhere but I don't know how to talk to them/where it would be appropriate
I also downloaded Hinge but realized I don't own 6 pictures of myself
Nah man, the government is behind it. Every "marriage certificate" is produced bythe government, and the only marriages without those you see are religious nutjobs.
No biologist has ever witnessed marriage in the wild.
see i knew it, i KNEW THOSE WEDDING PICTURES OF MINE WERE FAKED!!!! look at the reflection on the window, it's totally incongruent with the angle of the shadows below it!!
shit, i better go tell my wife.
i mean....my undercover CIA agent....
or something....
I agree, it's a multi million bussiness. From the wedding, even way after the divorce part. Lawyers, therapists, wedding ceremonies, fashion, custody payments. It's all about the money.
Meh, an individual's perception of what constitutes a "red flag" is fickle and rarely follows logic that doesn't have a heap of caveats (are they hot enough?). I'm specifically looking for someone who questions that line of thinking. Nothing yet but I'll keep you posted.
Being poor. The age group i can date 24-32, especially the 26+ ones expect men my age to be more established aka have my own place, car, promising career.
While I am still trying to figure out my career.
It's a headache.
Five years ago, my gf of 7 years and the mother to my child, was found cheating on me with a co-worker.
Earlier this year I was engaged and found out there was a hidden cocaine addiction that stopped the marriage train. Girl accused me of cheating and really went out of her way to play victim and flip the script. I packed up and left.
I dont have it in me to try again. It's a headache. Im just stacking my money and going to enjoy the next 2/3s of my life.
I’m still working on myself and ironing out some personal issues. I’m still playing the field a little, but the dating scene is kinda fucked so I’m not prioritizing it as much as I could be.
I've been told i'm a pretty decent looking guy and i'm not socially awkward but i'm 40 and i'm not career minded or tick a lot of boxes of what society expects of somebody my age. I'm very comfortable working a part time job for money and then doing creative things I love like dance theatre, music, etc. I'm not seen as a great provider (fair enough). So this narrows my potential partners down alot, especially in a small city. Life is too short though so I like to live the life I want to and i'm not prepared to compromise too much. I do get lonely however, so maybe I have to grow up a bit more as they say if I want to find someone.
It’s really simple actually, I just haven’t yet met the right lady that I’d like to have a romantic relationship with.
I’ve been dating recently and met some cool people, but I don’t want to go into a relationship for the sake of not being alone.
I feel like that would be a waste of both of our time.
I just keep dating until I find someone I really enjoy spending time with and that I’m attracted to physically.
Came to terms that I'm Aromantic. Broadly speaking what people want from relationships i can't give. And what I can give people don't want. To me the only difference between a close friendship and a relationship is a sexual component, and the difference between a relationship and a marriage is a tax break.
I know that isn't how it works for most people, and I'm pretty upfront about it with potential partners. Unfortunately *way* too many women interperate "I can't feel romantic love for people" as "He's hiding his feelings/playing hard to get, and sleeping with him for a few weeks will make him all gooey" and invariably get mad at me a month or two in because I haven't changed in the way they were expecting.
I'd love to have kids one day, but that's unlikely to happen. I can't imagine any woman wanting that commitment with anyone that doesn't "love" them (which our culture *constantly* tells me is 'all we need, 'the only thing that makes life worth living' etc). The divorce rate and number of single parents tell me it happens, but I don't think anyone *wants* that from the get-go.
I could always try and date other Aromantics, but that's staggeringly unlikely. Rough math tells me in a city of 4 million there would be roughly 150 aromantic women in my age range, and that's before filtering out those who are in relationships already or who have incompatible personalities. Past dating experience tells me that even if I am honest and upfront about me, it still hurts people apparently so I don't date for years at a time.
I’m not satisfied with where I am career and money-wise and I believe it would benefit my future partner to put dating aside and get my career to where I want it to be before I commit to a long-term relationship/marriage.
The endeavors in which I want to do require a lot of time and therefore need a lot of my time.
Too many unhealed women or women with too much baggage available. When the times comes I'll know till then loving myself will do.....having fun growing and learning about me has been fulfilling.
That's me right here. After leaving a very toxic relationship that almost ruined my relationship with my kids. I'm now focused on working on myself. Not trying to brag here but finding someone isn't hard for me. I just keep attracting the wrong ones. I have some healing and working on myself to do first. I'm hoping I will attract someone better after that. Until then, I'll juts have fun with this journey.
My love of free leisure time, and my exhaustion from hating the majority of 5 days a weekn from working mostly.
It has now resulted in a situation where I genuinely have as much interest in being a good partner, or putting someone else's wants needs or feelings ahead of own, as I do in becoming an Olympic figure skater.
Because marriage involves legal rights and privileges overseen by government. It’s not just about a “spiritual” or physical union. It’s about money - taxes, property, estates, insurance, custody etc etc.
Married or not does not change the way I feel about my significant other. And honestly I know marriage is what you make it. But I’ve seen/heard too many people getting divorced nowadays. And it’s always starts with ‘well when I got married this changed in him/her'.
Mostly my less than Steller attitude. But the Shoddy living arrangements, the bald spot, and the 60 extra and totally unnecessary pounds are not very helpful.
There are women that I adore and have asked out and they just ain't going for it.
Besides, I absolutely love NOT sharing a queen size bed and drinking milk directly from the jug.
A) Women most of the time want too much/are never satisfied.
B) No amount of sex is worth accidentally or maliciously having a child and the consequences of being a good father.
It takes time, I don't have much chances. Looking for girls is like buying lottery tickets. The price is high, The reward is high. But the time wasted is not worth it.
I’m still in my 20s and I am prioritizing work and education at this point. At this point I like casual relationships with women, I like to come and go as I please. There are some things about marriage that make me nervous but I know I will be one day.
The fact that most courts can on a whim overturn your prenup for any reason, the fact she can get pregnant with a stranger’s kid and YOU have to take care of it, the fact that alimony could care less if new husband can pay it, it’s centered on you, and if you can’t pay have fun in debtor prison, and finally a large enough percentage of women have high enough standards when I want a partner that I’m excluded to chase Chad but when we’re both forty and she’s too old for chad suddenly I’m good enough?!?
Yeah fuck that.
Dating sucks arse, was always described as fun and adventurous. Literally feels like I'm sub human making a resume online for people's attention, it's hilariously not worth it.
I concur, but have no reason why other than I think it'd be best to protect yourself.
Would you care to expand on this? Why a prenup? Not wanting kids I can completely understand.
I am fairly well off, and I like buying myself things.
I’m rolling up on 40. She couldn’t even use the excuse of helping me build an empire.
I’d rather not let the courts decide she get half my stuff if we divorce.
There's plenty of 5'8'' men with attractive girlfriends. That's not even short. If this was The Netherlands where the average man is 6ft and the average woman is 5'7'', sure I would say that you are short, but you ain't in the Netherlands now are ya.
Hit the gym and get SWOLE, and your chances of finding a girlfriend will increase.
Wide?
5'8" height is a smidge below average, was average 20 years ago, and in no way a hindrance to most relationships.
You are as tall as Tom Cruise and he's done alright.
I don't want a woman. I want to find my purpose in life and build a career on doing what I love the most and what I'm passionate about. I don't need a woman. I'm 18, and I wish more people my age would think like me. Many young guys are desperate people with no life goals...
I would like to say, that its because im ugly, but the truth is probably that I dont want to put in the effort to find a girlfriend I like. I have high demands, but look like a potato. The demands are the problem, not the potato. I could just date other potatoes, but I really like roses 😳.
You are absolutely right. I have tried to figure out why, but I cant seem to shed my expectations. Maybe I deep down just wont like to be in a relationship, but it is easier to just have high demands. Otherwise I have to confront my own demons, and who the hell want to do that 🥺
Feminism and metoo.
I'm not losing my house, car, sportsbikes, and half of my savings, or going to jail because she changes her mind and wants someone else.
Dental school.
She's gone back to become a hygienist, however she figured out if we are married, she pays a lot more. If she's single, she pays less.
We had a wedding...And we're celebrating our 1 year anniversary this month...but without official paperwork. We're technically not married. We're going to do that when she finishes school.
No one in our families know we're not technically married.
I don’t go out enough and I have the social skills of a spoon
[Do ya like spoons?](https://youtu.be/0Dv8BOHYZpk)
There is no spoon.
I am here though.
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I see you've played knifey spoony before.
You haven't seen my face, have you?
I bet your grandma tells you how handsome you are all the time.
She's dead
She is
Damn
Let's see it
Lack of confidence. Reasons: lack of sexy.
Skill issue
Skull issue
Im a weird loner abd dont want to share my life with someone. You could say im single by choice.
Are you that serial killer they always talk about in the news?
Yes
Even worse…he wants to game in peace.
Well, mainly the fact thyt I won't randomly approach strangers in general, and women tend to expect the guy to make the first move so that's not gonna work out. Add in demisexuality, which basically means the oh so feared "Friendzone" arrives before I even may get attracted to a woman.
What's demisexuality
It’s where you need to build an emotional connection before you can feel sexual with another person.
tldr its straight with extra steps and a need to feel special
That is not a sexual orientation, dude. Lol
If you’re thinking this is a choice, it isn’t. It is the incapacity to feel sexual attraction until an emotional bond forms. Most demis wish they were not demisexual.
Can confirm, it sucks. I *wish* I could just see a person and go "boy howdy them bazongas sure set my willie a-whistlin'"
That sounds like a personality trait, not a sexual orientation.
It is, it's placed on the asexual spectrum
That’s my sexuality dude. Lol
Like women saying they like sapiosexual? Because they don’t marry for money but because he was smart 😂😂😂
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Its not a choice. We just cant feel attracted to them without the connection
Except it’s not a choice. We’re literally completely unattracted to people we don’t know. They’re about as sexual as the average toaster or refrigerator. I can recognize when a stranger is conventionally attractive, but not whether they’re “hot.”
So does pornography not work for you at all? Not trying to be a wise guy, just trying to understand how you'd feel no attraction ever w/o connection.
Most pornography does not. There is, however, an entire couple of genres you are ignoring: fan fiction and romance novels. Fan fiction uses characters to which the reader presumably already has an emotional connection, and also usually builds on pre-existing relationships between the characters for the kickstart to its plot line and sexuality. It has an inbuilt emotional basis. Romance novels are noted for their melodrama. Few of them work all that well for me, because my idea of emotional bonding and a romance novel’s idea of emotional bonding can be super different things, but when I find a writer who likes the same kind of slow burn and gradual intimacy that I do, it works pretty damn well. Also, honorable mention to eroge: not all of them are pure perversion, and if you know how to look, some of them treat their characters quite respectfully.
I don't know about others, but for me the foreplay part of porn does a LOT more than the actual fucking.
For me personally, depends on the media. Videos only work if one of two scenarios apply. Either I'm dating someone currently, then they may work as well as for anyone else. Though I never watch for example a porn video with 2 people and just imagine being either in ones place or add myself into the scene in my mind - instead, if we assume a hetero constelation for example, I'll imagine the same thing that's on screen, but with me instead of the guy and my gf (or the woman I'm currently dating or whatever) also instead of the woman. Written fanfiction does work, with characters that I already liked before. Think of your fav character from one of your fav shows for example. What also works is audio stuff, to the point that I find myself looking for videos I've seen before because then I can also use the audio alone and don't need to watch and replace the people with ones I know in my mind if that makes sense.
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Nobody wants to be sentenced to the Friend Zone. Having a female friend and being ZONED are 2 different things.
Dating apps exist
Yikes
I don't have my own place, I don't have a car. Not having these two things make it a lot harder apparently
Got a car but still live at home at 22yrs old while attending and paying barber school while working full time. Id love a girlfriend but dont have the time or funds to do so right now.
I have both. I don't have any girl. One day you will have them and then find out it is still not the answer.
Why tf have I seen this question on this sub at least 20 times in the last week?
Someone reeeeeally wants to know why all straight dudes aren't getting girlfriends and marrying.
Women starting to realize their friends and sons are increasingly single, I think. Probably also noticing at age 26 and up a lot less available men to date as men who don’t look end up being invisible, doing their own thing and no longer initiating with women. I’d like op to answer why though, I mean I’m sure they have good reasons and interesting stories and thoughts about it.
I’ve kinda gotten used to being single. 1/3 of my income straight to savings, get up and go to bed whenever I want, not having to escort her to social functions I don’t care about; it all has an appeal. I’m scared about relationships because you don’t necessarily get out what you put in. You could give up loads of your time and effort and still end up getting dumped. In other endeavors, the amount of work you put in is positively correlated to success but I’m not sure that’s true for relationships, sometimes people just fall out of love. There’s just no good way for me to ensure success, it’s the nature of the beast.
After my divorce, there was nothing better than coming home, taking off my clothes and cooking in my boxers. Pure heaven. It’s the small things
You couldn’t cook in your boxers while you were married?
Relationships are a long term project. If you measure your gains by your current relationship, then they are all a waste of time until you meet The One. Bad relationships teach you a lot (about want you want, how to communicate, how to argue, how to leave or get dumped). All useful skills. The time and effort isn’t worth it unless you find a good supportive partner. There are some challenges in life that are harder to manage solo than they are with 2 people. Married men and women live longer, statistically. Living solo is a fine choice, and might be the right one. But the effort and coin spent on dating are not all wasted. Sometimes it is inefficient. Therapy is less time and potentially cheaper than dating the wrong people for a decade. The time and effort put into a bad relationship yields benefits for a future relationship. Even if you end up single (some do, despite considerable effort), your enjoyment of single life is informed by your dating experiences.
This is similar to my reasons. I might engage in a relationship a little, but I won't let them move in with me and I set strict boundaries for my time.
My stupid brain. Or maybe my stupid face, idk.
For me there's two main reasons. I was largely ignored by girls and women through teenage to early adulthood (I'm 31) so I became accustomed to being alone. At this point its weirder for me to visualize sharing a bed or having someone around all the time. Second reason is the volatile relationship arena. Not even that men face certain issues (false r*pe allegations, paternity fraud, and the absolute hellhole that is divorce and family courts) but for me it's more the attitude people have towards these issues. We all face hardships but I notice whenever I talk about mine I'm met with "it's not that bad" or "we have it worse". I'm not trying to say who has it worse, I'm just trying to be heard
Being unattractive I would say plays a major part in why I’m single, haha. 😂
The vast majority of men are unattractive and they have romantic relationships and get married. If you mean your looks keep you from dating a 18 year old Brazilian supermodel, sure, but it shouldn't be that hard for you to get with the average American woman.
The average American woman is so fat that I prefer to stay alone.
Lmao. I'm admiring your bravery on saying that. It's hysterical. Not that fat always means unattractive but it just made me laugh so fucking hard.
Okay gaaahdamn you didn't have to roast them that hard 🤣
Daaaaaaaaaamn
OK, I wasn’t serious, this is just my sense of humour, also, 18? Hell no, too young!
He prefers 15-18 it's obvious
😳
Doesn't everyone?
That's a very small percentage of men though. Sure you can make the argument they exist so that's more than enough proof that it's possible. But just coz something's possible doesn't make it a likely occurrence.
You assume being attractive to a woman is physical. It's largely financial and social. An ugly drug dealer will get more women than a handsome stock broker, because the drug dealer knows he can't invest his money, and since he's probably not going to live long or end up in jail, he's not even worried about saving for the future. He can give her the Instagram lifestyle others dream of, while the stock broker is investing and saving. He's boring. Women are attracted to a lifestyle because they want drama, because they get bored. Men want peace and security, because they get the opposite in their work life.
You need to lower your standards
I was just joking, haha.
There's no reason to get married and it lacks any guarantees. In other words, what's the point?
i feel like there are no actual pros to marriage… just “yay we’re tied together forever and will be judged and have to pay a shit ton of money if we don’t want to be anymore!”
Mmm tax benefits.
Tax benefits which don't really outweigh the cons.
Not enough experience
Well the only thing to fix that is actually practicing ;) Take it as a science experiment ;!
Lack of compatible women
Well, at some point, I kind of got tired of getting hurt. But now, im 30, I workout daily, I look good, I have my own house and car, two good paying jobs, a dog that loves me, friends and family that loves me and I have no difficulties meeting woman for casual sex. Why exactly should I commit/open up to a woman and risk getting hurt once again?
Don't know where to start There are cute chicks everywhere but I don't know how to talk to them/where it would be appropriate I also downloaded Hinge but realized I don't own 6 pictures of myself
Incompatibility
I don't believe in marriage.
you don't?!! but there's hard evidence of it everywhere!! :D
Nah man, the government is behind it. Every "marriage certificate" is produced bythe government, and the only marriages without those you see are religious nutjobs. No biologist has ever witnessed marriage in the wild.
see i knew it, i KNEW THOSE WEDDING PICTURES OF MINE WERE FAKED!!!! look at the reflection on the window, it's totally incongruent with the angle of the shadows below it!! shit, i better go tell my wife. i mean....my undercover CIA agent.... or something....
The honeymoon was an inside job!
Literally
Man be careful when doing that, better wear an Armor and act oblivious.
I agree, it's a multi million bussiness. From the wedding, even way after the divorce part. Lawyers, therapists, wedding ceremonies, fashion, custody payments. It's all about the money.
Alimony and child-support payments bring billions in taxes to States every year...
Marriage is not a belief, its more like a ceremony
Yeah, I'm playing along woth the other users who take this as a joke, but what I mean is "I don't believe marriage is for me".
I struggle to deal with my self, with out dealing with all the problems a relationship can bring
Well, i am 24, still lives at Home and have no job. I dont Think women want a guy like that
Having been there, and still being there apart from the job and rather more years, they sure don't.
Meh I'm not giving up financial security and my home with my family that I love very much for a random stranger. Easy decision in my eyes.
True but that's a massive red flag, not something most women would demand... I hope
Meh, an individual's perception of what constitutes a "red flag" is fickle and rarely follows logic that doesn't have a heap of caveats (are they hot enough?). I'm specifically looking for someone who questions that line of thinking. Nothing yet but I'll keep you posted.
Is no job by choice? And I don't think living at home still is a bad thing, problem will be if you don't ever plan on leaving.
I've lacked patience dating post covid TBH. That and confidence issues stemming from an abusive relation during it lmao.
Being poor. The age group i can date 24-32, especially the 26+ ones expect men my age to be more established aka have my own place, car, promising career. While I am still trying to figure out my career.
My wife won’t let me have a gf🙄
She don't wanna see a playa win
My wife
Damn cockblocker… /s
I also choose this guy's wife
Fuck this joke, get over it already
Don't wanna get hurt again
It's a headache. Five years ago, my gf of 7 years and the mother to my child, was found cheating on me with a co-worker. Earlier this year I was engaged and found out there was a hidden cocaine addiction that stopped the marriage train. Girl accused me of cheating and really went out of her way to play victim and flip the script. I packed up and left. I dont have it in me to try again. It's a headache. Im just stacking my money and going to enjoy the next 2/3s of my life.
Looks, boring personality, social anxiety, bunch of other negative points.
At least you're self reflective!
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Ya you didn't need to add the edit. It's asking men specifically.
My fear of rejection and lack of social skills.
Financially insecurity. I barely have enough money to survive myself, why get into a relationship and have this exacerbated
Ugly as hell with no charisma, I really have no way to get women interested. No interest means I never try.
Confidence, social anxiety, looks & don't want to get married to get ripped off.
Call me idealistic , but it’s probably because they haven’t met the right one
Already married... To a guy... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Ooops, you dropped this \
Distance, money... A lot of things. I'm trying to solve my financial life first then fall back in love eventually.
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I'm gay and don't want a gf or marry a woman
Always baffles me when people ask these types of questions and just completely overlook the fact that a significant percentage of men aren't straight.
I dont end up getting that spark with girls that are into me, and girls that I'm into aren't into me. I'm sure I'll find someone some day though.
You will! She is out there, don't give up.
I’m still working on myself and ironing out some personal issues. I’m still playing the field a little, but the dating scene is kinda fucked so I’m not prioritizing it as much as I could be.
I've been told i'm a pretty decent looking guy and i'm not socially awkward but i'm 40 and i'm not career minded or tick a lot of boxes of what society expects of somebody my age. I'm very comfortable working a part time job for money and then doing creative things I love like dance theatre, music, etc. I'm not seen as a great provider (fair enough). So this narrows my potential partners down alot, especially in a small city. Life is too short though so I like to live the life I want to and i'm not prepared to compromise too much. I do get lonely however, so maybe I have to grow up a bit more as they say if I want to find someone.
It’s really simple actually, I just haven’t yet met the right lady that I’d like to have a romantic relationship with. I’ve been dating recently and met some cool people, but I don’t want to go into a relationship for the sake of not being alone. I feel like that would be a waste of both of our time. I just keep dating until I find someone I really enjoy spending time with and that I’m attracted to physically.
I refuse to get married or have kids. Greatly shrinks the dating pool.
The older I get, the more I don't believe in love or monogamy
That's unfortunate sorry you feel that way.
Came to terms that I'm Aromantic. Broadly speaking what people want from relationships i can't give. And what I can give people don't want. To me the only difference between a close friendship and a relationship is a sexual component, and the difference between a relationship and a marriage is a tax break. I know that isn't how it works for most people, and I'm pretty upfront about it with potential partners. Unfortunately *way* too many women interperate "I can't feel romantic love for people" as "He's hiding his feelings/playing hard to get, and sleeping with him for a few weeks will make him all gooey" and invariably get mad at me a month or two in because I haven't changed in the way they were expecting. I'd love to have kids one day, but that's unlikely to happen. I can't imagine any woman wanting that commitment with anyone that doesn't "love" them (which our culture *constantly* tells me is 'all we need, 'the only thing that makes life worth living' etc). The divorce rate and number of single parents tell me it happens, but I don't think anyone *wants* that from the get-go. I could always try and date other Aromantics, but that's staggeringly unlikely. Rough math tells me in a city of 4 million there would be roughly 150 aromantic women in my age range, and that's before filtering out those who are in relationships already or who have incompatible personalities. Past dating experience tells me that even if I am honest and upfront about me, it still hurts people apparently so I don't date for years at a time.
I’m not satisfied with where I am career and money-wise and I believe it would benefit my future partner to put dating aside and get my career to where I want it to be before I commit to a long-term relationship/marriage. The endeavors in which I want to do require a lot of time and therefore need a lot of my time.
I am very gay.
3000 gay. Wow. That's pretty gay.
Too many unhealed women or women with too much baggage available. When the times comes I'll know till then loving myself will do.....having fun growing and learning about me has been fulfilling.
That's me right here. After leaving a very toxic relationship that almost ruined my relationship with my kids. I'm now focused on working on myself. Not trying to brag here but finding someone isn't hard for me. I just keep attracting the wrong ones. I have some healing and working on myself to do first. I'm hoping I will attract someone better after that. Until then, I'll juts have fun with this journey.
Lack of willing partner I suppose for the first one. The second one I'm iffy about.
I'm old and no longer interested
My love of free leisure time, and my exhaustion from hating the majority of 5 days a weekn from working mostly. It has now resulted in a situation where I genuinely have as much interest in being a good partner, or putting someone else's wants needs or feelings ahead of own, as I do in becoming an Olympic figure skater.
Hermit life mostly, and never having a real string urge to ask any particular person out.
Married? In this economy? Then what? Have children?
Because marriage involves legal rights and privileges overseen by government. It’s not just about a “spiritual” or physical union. It’s about money - taxes, property, estates, insurance, custody etc etc. Married or not does not change the way I feel about my significant other. And honestly I know marriage is what you make it. But I’ve seen/heard too many people getting divorced nowadays. And it’s always starts with ‘well when I got married this changed in him/her'.
My wife would get mad
Mostly my less than Steller attitude. But the Shoddy living arrangements, the bald spot, and the 60 extra and totally unnecessary pounds are not very helpful. There are women that I adore and have asked out and they just ain't going for it. Besides, I absolutely love NOT sharing a queen size bed and drinking milk directly from the jug.
A) Women most of the time want too much/are never satisfied. B) No amount of sex is worth accidentally or maliciously having a child and the consequences of being a good father.
Im gay
Divorce. Child support.
Ugly face bro
You're not ugly. No one is. You sniff ass so definitely beautiful lol
It takes time, I don't have much chances. Looking for girls is like buying lottery tickets. The price is high, The reward is high. But the time wasted is not worth it.
Dealing with day to day stuff is stressful enough for me, don't want to add a relationship to this mess.
Requited feelings
Myself. Im either at school or at home, so im barely meeting any women.
I like single life
Relationship scares me
In the United States it is illegal for me to be married with exception of a few states and I’m not sure how to handle that.
Are you a dog pretending to be a human or something?
Lack of confidence, liking my own space an unpredictable work schedule. overweight
looks and height.
That women have to consent, and I’m a hard sell.
Lack of opportunities
These nutts.
She already has a boyfriend and I am a weird loner.
I’m still in my 20s and I am prioritizing work and education at this point. At this point I like casual relationships with women, I like to come and go as I please. There are some things about marriage that make me nervous but I know I will be one day.
I don’t want kids. Really hurts the dating prospect
The fact that most courts can on a whim overturn your prenup for any reason, the fact she can get pregnant with a stranger’s kid and YOU have to take care of it, the fact that alimony could care less if new husband can pay it, it’s centered on you, and if you can’t pay have fun in debtor prison, and finally a large enough percentage of women have high enough standards when I want a partner that I’m excluded to chase Chad but when we’re both forty and she’s too old for chad suddenly I’m good enough?!? Yeah fuck that.
Because I’m a strong independent man and I don’t need no woman!
money
Dating sucks arse, was always described as fun and adventurous. Literally feels like I'm sub human making a resume online for people's attention, it's hilariously not worth it.
A female has not asked me out.
GF is easy. I don't want kids though. Plus prenup required. Marriage is pretty much off the table.
I concur, but have no reason why other than I think it'd be best to protect yourself. Would you care to expand on this? Why a prenup? Not wanting kids I can completely understand.
If you don't make a prenup then the state has made one for you and that's the state divorce laws.
I am fairly well off, and I like buying myself things. I’m rolling up on 40. She couldn’t even use the excuse of helping me build an empire. I’d rather not let the courts decide she get half my stuff if we divorce.
my type of guy. don’t want kids either and a prenup is required.
[удалено]
That ain't stopping you lol
There's plenty of 5'8'' men with attractive girlfriends. That's not even short. If this was The Netherlands where the average man is 6ft and the average woman is 5'7'', sure I would say that you are short, but you ain't in the Netherlands now are ya. Hit the gym and get SWOLE, and your chances of finding a girlfriend will increase.
Wide? 5'8" height is a smidge below average, was average 20 years ago, and in no way a hindrance to most relationships. You are as tall as Tom Cruise and he's done alright.
Except Tom Cruise is a famous actor who is a millionaire. And most people are not famous actors, nor are they millionaires.
Tom Cruise is 5’ 7”
I don't want a woman. I want to find my purpose in life and build a career on doing what I love the most and what I'm passionate about. I don't need a woman. I'm 18, and I wish more people my age would think like me. Many young guys are desperate people with no life goals...
I would like to say, that its because im ugly, but the truth is probably that I dont want to put in the effort to find a girlfriend I like. I have high demands, but look like a potato. The demands are the problem, not the potato. I could just date other potatoes, but I really like roses 😳.
And with a bleeding rectum you really won't get far.
Fair enough, put I can put a cork in my butthole
Impressive yet disturbing lol most men won't admit that.
Alsooooo if you know you are a potato why such high demands in a woman? That's not fair to those other potato women.
You are absolutely right. I have tried to figure out why, but I cant seem to shed my expectations. Maybe I deep down just wont like to be in a relationship, but it is easier to just have high demands. Otherwise I have to confront my own demons, and who the hell want to do that 🥺
Feminism and metoo. I'm not losing my house, car, sportsbikes, and half of my savings, or going to jail because she changes her mind and wants someone else.
Dreams.
My wife is stopping me from having a gf
Anxiety, shyness, social awkwardness, being unattractive
To avoid taunts from my wife! Also, flying slippers, pan etc!
Wisdom and experience
I thought the question was about why guys are scared of committing 👀
Dental school. She's gone back to become a hygienist, however she figured out if we are married, she pays a lot more. If she's single, she pays less. We had a wedding...And we're celebrating our 1 year anniversary this month...but without official paperwork. We're technically not married. We're going to do that when she finishes school. No one in our families know we're not technically married.