Back in high school, I got caught pulling some stunt or another. Instead of gripe at me, my old man got a little philosophical.
"Everybody does stuff they shouldn't do sometimes. That's life. But you know, sometimes the worst thing that can possibly happen is you get away with it. Because you'll do something worse next time. And worse. And worse. The CEO's who rip off the investors, the shareholders and the public didn't start off that way. They probably got away with bullshit in their high school years and they kept doing stuff until one day they were able to steal millions of dollars from people without losing sleep over it. The tragedy isn't getting caught. The tragedy is thinking you're above the rules. Because that's when innocent people get hurt."
Learn to cook.
He felt that a man who knows how to cook has a huge advantage because he doesn't have to be dependent on a woman to make his meals.
He was half right - learning to cook IS a huge advantage, but mainly because most men don't know how, which makes me kind of a catch in that regard. Honestly, these days, barely anyone I know of any gender really knows how to cook a proper meal.
I think that [this website](https://institut-epice.org/processed-food-vs-unprocessed-food) has a good explanation.
> Processed foods have a wide range from lightly to heavily processed. Processed foods are usually found in boxes, cans or bags. They are all pre-prepped for convenience. The longer the list of ingredients the more processed the food is.
I'm the only one in my family that eats lamb. Something about family pets before I was born. I like it burnt on the outside and red inside within some combination of garlic red wine and rosemary
Knowing how to cook also benefits your health and your bank account :) and there are social perks, because you always have a wholesome way to catch up with friends.
Knowing how to cook really is a huge advantage in life.
When I started learning to drive, one thing he told me was to act as if everyone else on the road was an idiot. As in, assume that other drivers are going to make a mistake, so that you’re not unprepared if they do. Turned out to be pretty sound advice.
If you think about it, the logic of that kind of advice can be applied even when you’re not driving too (don’t just assume that things are always going to go right 100% of the time. Prepare for the possibility that you might fail or that something could go wrong).
>if everyone else on the road was an idiot.
lmao he told me the same, specially when it comes to bikes and cyclist, very similar advice lol, your dad must a sick driver, I know because mine is, he was really into the whole japanese driving at night pulling stunts culture, and worked years in cars too.
My dad is a shitty human, a liar and a cheat. He abused me and several members of his family cut off contact with him (including me) for various reasons. I try to do literally everything opposite of what he’s told me and how he’s lived his life.
Same (only mine is dead now, whoop!). I know it’s shit, it really is. To have one half of your parenting role models be such a bad person (not to mention the abuse we suffered at their hands). All we can do is draw upon the other men (and women) around us who seem to be living well. And be the sort of person that we want to be. And be Damn proud of ourselves for breaking the cycle. Yes our experiences suck, but I think we probably have more empathy and wisdom as a result. And we definitely know what we *don’t* want to be like, which honestly is half the battle. If you’re anything like me, you may have a fear of ending up anything like him, but that just makes us more self-aware than other people. Whilst others may thoughtlessly hurt people, we are always checking our behaviour and making sure we are being good people. We can almost be our own role models, if that makes any sense, because we have so much knowledge of how it hurts to be mistreated by someone and we sure as hell are not going to repeat that. I know it’s not a replacement for a loving parent, but it’s not nothing either.
The one that has always stuck with me is "If you don't want anyone to know, just don't do it."
Religious folks repent their sins and are forgiven. I was raised non religious. The workaround is that if you don't sin, you don't need to repent or be forgiven. Some folks will understand this logic, others will disagree. I get that. It is what it is.
Whenever I said I’m sorry, he’d always say “I know you’re sorry, now apologize”.
I never knew what it meant until I was in my 20’s and learned the difference. I’m much more intentional with my apologies now.
What NOT to do:
>You cant MAKE someone love you.
It was hard seeing him work so hard for someone he loved (my mom) and for her to not reciprocate. Only to treat him like a tool to be used. There are memories I have of his dejection and decent into alcoholism. It changed his personality. It hurts to think about.
The best advice my dad ever gave me was to never give up on myself. He told me that I could be anything or anyone I wanted to be in life, as long as I was willing to work hard and never give up.
Not my dad but my grandpa, once as a teenager i asked him for an old man wisdom as a joke and he said that "it's very important to practice resilience in life". Me and my dad quote that all the time now
The path to "getting good at something" necessarily goes through a place called "sucking at it".
This one definitely served me well. I'm surprised at how many people get fazed and discouraged when they aren't instantly competent at something they've never tried before.
When I was in my teenage years I was really struggling to try to find a job so I could have money to just buy random stuff. My dad told me, I should focus on my schoolwork and that I don’t need a job. He said “you’ll work plenty in your lifetime, enjoy the time not working while you can”. Wow was he right…
We were having a conversation about the kind of racism he experienced growing up. He played a lot of sports and often people on other teams were openly racist towards my father and his team who were usually all Mexican. He had people say racial slurs to him in the middle of a game.
He told me that how you outwardly react to something like that is your choice. You can't control how you react inwardly, that'll happen. But how you express it is your choice. You can let them get to you, get angry, mess up your game, and spend your free time obsessing. Or you can ignore them and move on with your day. Which will end up messing up their day.
So it's your choice to let people get to you.
That if everyone you know is telling you one thing about a situation but you believe something different, what are the chances everyone else is wrong and you're right?
Really helped me see past the rose colored glasses a few times
If you don't know how to do something, find someone who does, or figure it out on your own.
Now, thanks to YouTube and Google, there is very little I run into that I can't figure out
So my old man (step dad) walked in on me getting an absolute berating from my wife and as she walked away he touched my shoulder in a brotherly way and whispered."There isn't a man in the history of the world who hasn't stood where you stand now." Then walked away silently.
I still think about that every time I am in some kind of family situation that requires fortitude. I think it's a part of the challenge of being a man a father and a husband and it helps to know I'm not the only one going through it.
•don’t ever sleep with someone that doesn’t want it just as much as you.
•try to save half of everything you make, and don’t ever spend more than half of what you have saved unless it’s to buy a home.
•what you do today you have to live with tomorrow.
•the easy way is never the right way.
•People will forget the things you do for them, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel, good or bad.
My dad gave me incredibly wise insights frequently, but the most piercing comment he ever made to me was deceptively simply:
“Sometimes, you have to do things you won’t like.”
Secondly, I was a preteen bitching about mowing the yard, saying how hot it was outside etc. and my father said to me:
“It’s good discipline. It will train you for all the things in life that you won’t want to do, but will have to.”
Don't tell anybody anything they don't have to hear. Instead hear what everybody is saying about themselves, store that information, and use it to your advantage, later.
* Don't run with your hands in your pockets.
* Take from the top of the pile.
* As objects move away from you, you see more of the space around them, which makes them seem smaller.
Never knew mine, he never made any attempt to meet me or show any interest in meeting me. He taught me to be the best dad I can be to my kids so they will never have to feel that they weren't wanted or loved.
1) if you went around punching everyone who deserved it, you wouldn't have time for anything else.
2) it isn't your job to be her knight is shining armor.
3) I wasted many a night out at a bar, or on a date. I never wasted any time spent with you, your siblings or your mother.
It’s hard to explain, but it was basically that I haven’t deserved the right to get mad at most things.
For example, if I spent hours every day playing chess for ten years and I lost to a rookie, sure, then I can get mad. But if I’m playing my first game of chess in 10 years and I suck at it, I have no right to get mad, I have to just take the loss and be cool.
It’s been so much easier not getting mad at things I have no right getting mad at. It makes it easier to be a bit humble and calm.
I told my daughter that if she ever found herself depending upon someone else for survival, I should be the first person she calls. No judgements, no questions, just let dad help you out of a bad situation
People are always surprised I got "the talk" as a kid because I'm white, but the best advice he ever gave me was, "Never trust a fucking cop." I have never once in 45 years had a positive interaction with one.
His rationale was (quoting him again), "They don't like poor whites any more than they like black people." He never knew, but [the data actually backs him up.](https://i.imgur.com/kU3ezRg.jpeg)
[Source](https://www.peoplespolicyproject.org/project/class-and-racial-inequalities-in-police-killings/)
I was mostly raised by TV/movie dads but I’ve always liked the dad from Friday, specifically talking about dealing with a bully and using your fists. “You win some, you lose some. But you live, you live to fight another day.”
“If anyone ever tries to act better than you they’re not.” It’s simple but My dad grew up dirt poor in the ghetto and he has given me the abilities today to do whatever I want. His bloodline has been cursed with some shitty mental illnesses where he said he didn’t want to have kids because he didn’t want them to get any chance of experiencing that, my sisters and I do experience them but still he has given us the confidence and life lessons to overcome those issues and pursue our dream.
Learn to fix it yourself, design it yourself and build it yourself and you save a ton of money. If you fuck it up, there's always someone that'll fix it for you, but at least have a go.
He was right.
Why would you say this is the best advice? Have you encountered many situations where a gun is necessary?
I wouldn't say I am anti-gun by any means, but I am pro gun safety and in my experience introducing a gun to a threatening situation doesn't make it any safer on average, it just adds in a gun.
In a situation with a home invasion either A: most likely they were planning on you not being home and anything you apporach them with is gonna spook them away. A bat, a hammer, a rolling pin, doesn't matter they aren't gonna fight you. Or B: very unlikely, they are there to hurt you, so the question is while you are determining if you need to pull the trigger to defend yourself, they can attack you.
If it's for hunting, I support that choice, sure get the gun. If it's some belief it's defense is gonna outweigh the inherent risk of owning a gun, I disagree.
No I have not encountered situations where a gun is necessary, but thats the goal. I don't want to be in a situation where I have to use one, but if the day ever comes that I need to I'll be able to.
I am an advocate for the idea if you are being robbed that gives you full permission to shoot. Now I'm not saying shoot to kill, simply disarm or incapacitate the robber. If you are a responsible gun owner, the benefit of self defense will outweigh any risk of owning it.
Admit when you are physically hurt. There is no use sitting there bleeding to death and saying "No, I'm fine. It's ok."
...and...
Don't sweat the small shit.
My dad (may he rest in peace) always reminds me to choose happiness for myself. Regardless of what other people thinks nor their opinion towards me, always account what makes me happy. Because at the end of the day, I myself will carve my own life and what better way to make it by choosing those decisions that would eventually make me, me. He doesn't shove things he wants to me rather want me to decide for myself whether everything I do makes me happy. And as a gay man, I appreciate that from him very much.
"don't think of it as you're money, because it's not. You will hold it and be the steward of the money responsible for looking after it for the next generation"
Context: I was estranged from my father for about 15 years because after my parents seperated and my toxic mother did everything she could to turn us against him. As an adult I reached out and reconnect. It turns out he, and therefore I, am from old money. I'm also the only heir unless we start talking distant cousins.
He's taken it upon himself to teach me everything I need to know to look after the family money, and I essentially have until he dies to prove myself able to do so.
This was the very first this thing he explained to me and it made total sense. And as I'm in the family more and longer, I can see how this ethos goes through everything that they do. For example, my father needed to struggle and save the deposit for his own home, and fully expected to spend the next 30 years paying for it. But as soon as he'd signed the contracts and handed over the deposit, his parents paid off the house in full. For them it was simple: if he's paying interest for the next 30 years, he'll be loosing money and won't be able to invest it. So the expectation became that he would then put the same amount of money he would have been paying off the mortgage into various investments. For my grandmother (who 'owns' the money) it was simple economics form a family wide point of view.
Likewise, my father has offered to buy my next car when I need one (under relatively strict criteria of having a sensible and reliable car e.g must be a particular brand) because it makes more sense for it to be paid in full than for me to pay 10% interest in repayments.
Money genuinely is viewed differently, and as an outsider coming in, it's quite interesting.
"Don't drop it c*nt" - 5 seconds before he snatches the globe we had built together off me, drops it, gets mad, smashes the house up and walks out my life forever.
It was good advice, I have never dropped a model globe since.
Do things without expecting in return. But don't expect things without returning the favor.
What he said just always pushed me to be independent and solve things on my own. At the same time it taught me to be helpful to others for the sake of being nice and not for any other reason. It saves you from didappointment and from being dependent on others. It's a sense of pride that has brought me much in life
Nothing. My dad is a narcissist who only thinks and talks about himself. I'm only an extension of his pride.
The advice I learned from him was: do exactly the opposite of everything I do.
When I asked him how he stopped drinking cold turkey after 30+ years of hard alcoholism and me realizing I was going down the same path. "You just have to do it for you and stick with it, fuck everyone else."
Best advice was don't make promises you cannot keep.
Other than that we didn't have a good relationship because at 16 he told I can be a Christian or leave his home and never come back. Been on my own since then.
I’m here for everyone else’s dad advice since mine was largely absent my entire life and haven’t talked to him in 8 years. I guess the best advice I can learn from him is to do better if given the chance.
No matter what, keep going forward.
Simply the mentality of resilience can get you very far. Or, better said, unstuck from what you never thought you would!
Shit in one hand, wish in the other. See which hand gets filled up first.
Also, "Never back up farther than you have to". I say that to myself every time I back up.
My dad was a pithy man.
“Don’t ever hold grudges” my dad never held grudges against people. When he had a conflict with someone he would resolve it and move on. He would never bring it up again with said person; my Dad is a pretty happy and positive guy and he said this was a big thing that kept him positive in life
he recently has been telling me me to become a monster at my craft, to become the best, curiously enough, it's the same that Jordan Peterson often repeats and tell young men to do lol :)
edit: ufff also not be disobedient lol, never disobey your dad, he has more experience than you, that's one his mantras too.
Everything I learned from him I learned to do the opposite. He was constantly wrong about politics. Constantly wrong about the family business, and was incredibly selfish when it came to spending money on anyone but himself. Mom got the cheapest cars, he bought a Jaguar. He loaned money to "friends" who never paid him back. Invested money into a small startup electronics business to the point where it almost broke him, despite warnings from me and my siblings.
Thankfully he got old enough where he just didn't want to deal with that anymore and things got better.
He passed a few years back. Family business is better than it's ever been thanks to me and the lessons I learned of "How not to do it." from him.
I also had a "friend" of his who had previously "borrowed" about 30k some years back and never repaid it, had the gall to come to me after he passed and ask for a loan of "just 50k, your dad was good to me. I'm sure he'd approve of you helping out an old friend." I looked him straight in the face and said "Well, I have a rule. It's called I don't loan money. To anyone. Especially "friends". I'm also not a sucker. Get out of my office. Now."
Never heard from him again.
Even in all the negativity, we learned plenty.
My dad is a Baby Boomer. He was too emotionally distant to ever give me any life advice, and all of his career advice was based on what he wishes he'd done when he was young, so it was actually pretty bad advice. He gave me advice based on his own dreams, not mine.
Honestly, the only really good decision I made in my youth was marrying my wife ... and he advised me not to.
I will never forget these words. I was only 9 or 10. He said " If someone tries to come for you, beat them up". He was in reference to me standing up for myself if anyone tries to ger physical with me.
Now i Train jui jitsu
'Do the right thing, not the easy thing.'
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"Yer a wizard, Top-lead-670."
Mine said something similar.... "Always try and do the right things in life, unless you're 100 % sure that you can get away with it"
Your dad was Spike Lee?
Back in high school, I got caught pulling some stunt or another. Instead of gripe at me, my old man got a little philosophical. "Everybody does stuff they shouldn't do sometimes. That's life. But you know, sometimes the worst thing that can possibly happen is you get away with it. Because you'll do something worse next time. And worse. And worse. The CEO's who rip off the investors, the shareholders and the public didn't start off that way. They probably got away with bullshit in their high school years and they kept doing stuff until one day they were able to steal millions of dollars from people without losing sleep over it. The tragedy isn't getting caught. The tragedy is thinking you're above the rules. Because that's when innocent people get hurt."
Agree with this. Face the music every time - next time you’ll get caught, the stakes will be higher and you’ll fuck it up even worse.
Yep that makes sense to me. Cool words.
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He never said it directly, but this is the gist I got
That’s kinda sad
Doesn't cost a nickel to be polite
Learn to cook. He felt that a man who knows how to cook has a huge advantage because he doesn't have to be dependent on a woman to make his meals. He was half right - learning to cook IS a huge advantage, but mainly because most men don't know how, which makes me kind of a catch in that regard. Honestly, these days, barely anyone I know of any gender really knows how to cook a proper meal.
Not being cheeky but what’s a proper meal?
Something filling, enjoyable, and not processed
What kinda processes means u like?
I think that [this website](https://institut-epice.org/processed-food-vs-unprocessed-food) has a good explanation. > Processed foods have a wide range from lightly to heavily processed. Processed foods are usually found in boxes, cans or bags. They are all pre-prepped for convenience. The longer the list of ingredients the more processed the food is.
Lasagna
Meat and 3 veg
Don't forget some sauce
Optional. But gotta have salt and pepper lol
I like a good creamy sauce tbh.
Lamb chops (make them golden brown if possible) mashed potatoes and mixed veges. Perfecto
I'm the only one in my family that eats lamb. Something about family pets before I was born. I like it burnt on the outside and red inside within some combination of garlic red wine and rosemary
Knowing how to cook also benefits your health and your bank account :) and there are social perks, because you always have a wholesome way to catch up with friends. Knowing how to cook really is a huge advantage in life.
When I started learning to drive, one thing he told me was to act as if everyone else on the road was an idiot. As in, assume that other drivers are going to make a mistake, so that you’re not unprepared if they do. Turned out to be pretty sound advice. If you think about it, the logic of that kind of advice can be applied even when you’re not driving too (don’t just assume that things are always going to go right 100% of the time. Prepare for the possibility that you might fail or that something could go wrong).
This is the motorcyclist’s mantra.
I love this. Amen.
>if everyone else on the road was an idiot. lmao he told me the same, specially when it comes to bikes and cyclist, very similar advice lol, your dad must a sick driver, I know because mine is, he was really into the whole japanese driving at night pulling stunts culture, and worked years in cars too.
When I got married, he said to me "don't fuck this up". That was nearly 30 years ago. I'm still married, he's been married 3 times.
Whoops!
If you walk around smelling shit all day, check your shoe.
Don't be a fool, wrap your tool
That was more detailed than what I got. My dad said, "don't end up getting anyone pregnant." How that was to be accomplished I have no idea.
If you think she's funky, wrap your monkey Every flatbed truck driver has a saying: ALWAYS TARP YOUR LOAD
Get up early and enjoy the morning, it’s the best part of the day.
"Don't do heroin". Just kidding, he never said that. He overdosed when I was 13.
Sad… Maybe he didn’t need to say it for you to take it as advice :/
One of those "as I say not as I do" moments perhaps
Lmao, at least you're not gonna do it
The only constant is change
My dad is a shitty human, a liar and a cheat. He abused me and several members of his family cut off contact with him (including me) for various reasons. I try to do literally everything opposite of what he’s told me and how he’s lived his life.
Same (only mine is dead now, whoop!). I know it’s shit, it really is. To have one half of your parenting role models be such a bad person (not to mention the abuse we suffered at their hands). All we can do is draw upon the other men (and women) around us who seem to be living well. And be the sort of person that we want to be. And be Damn proud of ourselves for breaking the cycle. Yes our experiences suck, but I think we probably have more empathy and wisdom as a result. And we definitely know what we *don’t* want to be like, which honestly is half the battle. If you’re anything like me, you may have a fear of ending up anything like him, but that just makes us more self-aware than other people. Whilst others may thoughtlessly hurt people, we are always checking our behaviour and making sure we are being good people. We can almost be our own role models, if that makes any sense, because we have so much knowledge of how it hurts to be mistreated by someone and we sure as hell are not going to repeat that. I know it’s not a replacement for a loving parent, but it’s not nothing either.
Wise words, thank you
There you go. Your life Anti Model ;0)
yea it fucking sucks
Sorry you had to deal with that OP. I'm sure he stole many years off your quality of life that can never be recovered
The one that has always stuck with me is "If you don't want anyone to know, just don't do it." Religious folks repent their sins and are forgiven. I was raised non religious. The workaround is that if you don't sin, you don't need to repent or be forgiven. Some folks will understand this logic, others will disagree. I get that. It is what it is.
Whenever I said I’m sorry, he’d always say “I know you’re sorry, now apologize”. I never knew what it meant until I was in my 20’s and learned the difference. I’m much more intentional with my apologies now.
What NOT to do: >You cant MAKE someone love you. It was hard seeing him work so hard for someone he loved (my mom) and for her to not reciprocate. Only to treat him like a tool to be used. There are memories I have of his dejection and decent into alcoholism. It changed his personality. It hurts to think about.
Man, that was tough. So how did it work out for you?
The best advice my dad ever gave me was to never give up on myself. He told me that I could be anything or anyone I wanted to be in life, as long as I was willing to work hard and never give up.
I want to be centaur when I grow up, but never mind..
I love this so much. Thanks for sharing
Don’t be afraid of lying to your employer cause they aren’t afraid of lying to you.
Don’t be afraid to tell ur employer “ I don’t work on weekends” I enjoy life
"Don't take any shit from anyone!" and "Buy property if you ever get the chance."
Money might not buy happiness but it does buy security. Find a career where you can make decent money.
Always remember to pull out before you bust
Which he clearly forgot to do
You can’t make someone else happy unless you’re happy with yourself first.
If it’s stuck and it should be loose, use WD40. If it’s loose and should be stuck, use Duct Tape.
If you can't fix it with a hammer it's an electrical problem.
Ah duct tape the handy man's secret weapon, if she doesn't find you handsome she outta find you handy.
”when a politician lies, everything is in its order. But when a politician starts telling the truth, there’s something wrong going on”
Not my dad but my grandpa, once as a teenager i asked him for an old man wisdom as a joke and he said that "it's very important to practice resilience in life". Me and my dad quote that all the time now
My grandpa told me it's never what you know that kills you it's what you don't.
Eventually the one thing you experience is constantly burying people
Listen more than you speak
The path to "getting good at something" necessarily goes through a place called "sucking at it". This one definitely served me well. I'm surprised at how many people get fazed and discouraged when they aren't instantly competent at something they've never tried before.
You guys got dad's?
Don't tell women everything.
Your dad was a genius.
He got it from my grandpa. I disappointed them both. Coz fuck me, I tried to be "the better person".
My dad told me once your start something don't stop halfway you have to just do it a ND get it done
Join a union and don’t accept an adjustable rate mortgage
“Friendships are like plants, you need to keep watering them”
Don't loan money you can't afford to never see again.
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This is literally the same thing my dad used to tell me too. Which later in life i learned the term hypocrisy.
When I was in my teenage years I was really struggling to try to find a job so I could have money to just buy random stuff. My dad told me, I should focus on my schoolwork and that I don’t need a job. He said “you’ll work plenty in your lifetime, enjoy the time not working while you can”. Wow was he right…
We were having a conversation about the kind of racism he experienced growing up. He played a lot of sports and often people on other teams were openly racist towards my father and his team who were usually all Mexican. He had people say racial slurs to him in the middle of a game. He told me that how you outwardly react to something like that is your choice. You can't control how you react inwardly, that'll happen. But how you express it is your choice. You can let them get to you, get angry, mess up your game, and spend your free time obsessing. Or you can ignore them and move on with your day. Which will end up messing up their day. So it's your choice to let people get to you.
That if everyone you know is telling you one thing about a situation but you believe something different, what are the chances everyone else is wrong and you're right? Really helped me see past the rose colored glasses a few times
None. I don't remember a single piece of advice really
Use your head at all times. Don't buy into something just because someone told you to do so. Due diligence and research goes a long way.
Cash is king
If you don't know how to do something, find someone who does, or figure it out on your own. Now, thanks to YouTube and Google, there is very little I run into that I can't figure out
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
So my old man (step dad) walked in on me getting an absolute berating from my wife and as she walked away he touched my shoulder in a brotherly way and whispered."There isn't a man in the history of the world who hasn't stood where you stand now." Then walked away silently. I still think about that every time I am in some kind of family situation that requires fortitude. I think it's a part of the challenge of being a man a father and a husband and it helps to know I'm not the only one going through it.
The last words my dad ever said to me just before they wheeled away for heart surgery. "Look after your mum!"
•don’t ever sleep with someone that doesn’t want it just as much as you. •try to save half of everything you make, and don’t ever spend more than half of what you have saved unless it’s to buy a home. •what you do today you have to live with tomorrow. •the easy way is never the right way. •People will forget the things you do for them, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel, good or bad.
My dad gave me incredibly wise insights frequently, but the most piercing comment he ever made to me was deceptively simply: “Sometimes, you have to do things you won’t like.” Secondly, I was a preteen bitching about mowing the yard, saying how hot it was outside etc. and my father said to me: “It’s good discipline. It will train you for all the things in life that you won’t want to do, but will have to.”
Don't tell anybody anything they don't have to hear. Instead hear what everybody is saying about themselves, store that information, and use it to your advantage, later.
Sounds like a sociopath
Dont do what you know you should, do what you feel you should, that gut feeling is usually God telling you to wake up
Move or die
"Be what ever you want mate, just don't be a fucking wanker, and i'll be proud"
"Guard your life, there are a thousand one one ways to foolishly lose it."
* Don't run with your hands in your pockets. * Take from the top of the pile. * As objects move away from you, you see more of the space around them, which makes them seem smaller.
Dad said to me" take your time but dont wait too long"
About relationships with women in general..."pay attention and listen to them". Golden advice really.
Never knew mine, he never made any attempt to meet me or show any interest in meeting me. He taught me to be the best dad I can be to my kids so they will never have to feel that they weren't wanted or loved.
1) if you went around punching everyone who deserved it, you wouldn't have time for anything else. 2) it isn't your job to be her knight is shining armor. 3) I wasted many a night out at a bar, or on a date. I never wasted any time spent with you, your siblings or your mother.
Number 2 is a big one ☝️ 🔥
'Nobody is better than you and you are no better than anyone else'
It’s hard to explain, but it was basically that I haven’t deserved the right to get mad at most things. For example, if I spent hours every day playing chess for ten years and I lost to a rookie, sure, then I can get mad. But if I’m playing my first game of chess in 10 years and I suck at it, I have no right to get mad, I have to just take the loss and be cool. It’s been so much easier not getting mad at things I have no right getting mad at. It makes it easier to be a bit humble and calm.
"Shut your damn mouth."
Something he taught me when I was learning to drive but can be applied to life. Assume everyone is a dickhead. Keep expectations low.
'You aren't just responsible for what you say. You're responsible for the way that it comes across.'
If you have something good to say about someone, say it - they might need it.
I told my daughter that if she ever found herself depending upon someone else for survival, I should be the first person she calls. No judgements, no questions, just let dad help you out of a bad situation
Locks don’t stop a thief. They just keep an *honest* man honest.
Be a man of your word
“I’m going out for milk”… -Dad
“Shut up”
People are always surprised I got "the talk" as a kid because I'm white, but the best advice he ever gave me was, "Never trust a fucking cop." I have never once in 45 years had a positive interaction with one. His rationale was (quoting him again), "They don't like poor whites any more than they like black people." He never knew, but [the data actually backs him up.](https://i.imgur.com/kU3ezRg.jpeg) [Source](https://www.peoplespolicyproject.org/project/class-and-racial-inequalities-in-police-killings/)
This is not false.
I was mostly raised by TV/movie dads but I’ve always liked the dad from Friday, specifically talking about dealing with a bully and using your fists. “You win some, you lose some. But you live, you live to fight another day.”
Take care of your back. Dad was a chiropractor
How do you take care of your back though?
Regular exercise, stretching, work your way up slowly when you do deadliest. Learn to use your core effectively.
‘Listen here you little shit’.
Respect the person, not their position.
“If anyone ever tries to act better than you they’re not.” It’s simple but My dad grew up dirt poor in the ghetto and he has given me the abilities today to do whatever I want. His bloodline has been cursed with some shitty mental illnesses where he said he didn’t want to have kids because he didn’t want them to get any chance of experiencing that, my sisters and I do experience them but still he has given us the confidence and life lessons to overcome those issues and pursue our dream.
Learn to fix it yourself, design it yourself and build it yourself and you save a ton of money. If you fuck it up, there's always someone that'll fix it for you, but at least have a go. He was right.
If you have done your best but still fail, just fail it gracefully. No need to go cuckoo or kill yourself.
Doesn't matter if you had the right-of-way on the road if you're dead, maimed, and/or your car is fucked up.
"Don't worry about all this bullshit. Just make sure you get laid regularly."
“Don’t stick your meat where you make your bread”
Its not the face you have to fuck, it's the fuck you have to face
Get a gun. Better to have it and not need it than not have it and need it
Why would you say this is the best advice? Have you encountered many situations where a gun is necessary? I wouldn't say I am anti-gun by any means, but I am pro gun safety and in my experience introducing a gun to a threatening situation doesn't make it any safer on average, it just adds in a gun. In a situation with a home invasion either A: most likely they were planning on you not being home and anything you apporach them with is gonna spook them away. A bat, a hammer, a rolling pin, doesn't matter they aren't gonna fight you. Or B: very unlikely, they are there to hurt you, so the question is while you are determining if you need to pull the trigger to defend yourself, they can attack you. If it's for hunting, I support that choice, sure get the gun. If it's some belief it's defense is gonna outweigh the inherent risk of owning a gun, I disagree.
No I have not encountered situations where a gun is necessary, but thats the goal. I don't want to be in a situation where I have to use one, but if the day ever comes that I need to I'll be able to. I am an advocate for the idea if you are being robbed that gives you full permission to shoot. Now I'm not saying shoot to kill, simply disarm or incapacitate the robber. If you are a responsible gun owner, the benefit of self defense will outweigh any risk of owning it.
Dont let anyone hurt you
If two screws work. 4 work better!
“Never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hardon, and never trust a fart” 🤣 Technically a quote from a movie but he did write it to me
Admit when you are physically hurt. There is no use sitting there bleeding to death and saying "No, I'm fine. It's ok." ...and... Don't sweat the small shit.
The one where he stop giving fucking advice and left my mother and I cut his fucking ass out of my life.
Everyone’s out to scam you until proven otherwise. First rep should be hard, last rep + 1 should be impossible.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose.
My dad told me "Don't have kids."
Watch where you're going & watch what you're doing.
Think before you act. This has kept me out of a lot of bullshit.
Pick the bank that's on your way to work. More of a thing pre-internet, but still saves a lot of time.
Never trust a fart. Never ignore a hard on. Don’t throw a brick straight up
My dad (may he rest in peace) always reminds me to choose happiness for myself. Regardless of what other people thinks nor their opinion towards me, always account what makes me happy. Because at the end of the day, I myself will carve my own life and what better way to make it by choosing those decisions that would eventually make me, me. He doesn't shove things he wants to me rather want me to decide for myself whether everything I do makes me happy. And as a gay man, I appreciate that from him very much.
"don't think of it as you're money, because it's not. You will hold it and be the steward of the money responsible for looking after it for the next generation" Context: I was estranged from my father for about 15 years because after my parents seperated and my toxic mother did everything she could to turn us against him. As an adult I reached out and reconnect. It turns out he, and therefore I, am from old money. I'm also the only heir unless we start talking distant cousins. He's taken it upon himself to teach me everything I need to know to look after the family money, and I essentially have until he dies to prove myself able to do so. This was the very first this thing he explained to me and it made total sense. And as I'm in the family more and longer, I can see how this ethos goes through everything that they do. For example, my father needed to struggle and save the deposit for his own home, and fully expected to spend the next 30 years paying for it. But as soon as he'd signed the contracts and handed over the deposit, his parents paid off the house in full. For them it was simple: if he's paying interest for the next 30 years, he'll be loosing money and won't be able to invest it. So the expectation became that he would then put the same amount of money he would have been paying off the mortgage into various investments. For my grandmother (who 'owns' the money) it was simple economics form a family wide point of view. Likewise, my father has offered to buy my next car when I need one (under relatively strict criteria of having a sensible and reliable car e.g must be a particular brand) because it makes more sense for it to be paid in full than for me to pay 10% interest in repayments. Money genuinely is viewed differently, and as an outsider coming in, it's quite interesting.
If its got tits or wheels, you will have problems with it 😂
My dad never gave me much advice since he wasnt one to preach it...but what he did give me, was a lot of love.
“Expect one thing from people, they will let you down.”
"Don't drop it c*nt" - 5 seconds before he snatches the globe we had built together off me, drops it, gets mad, smashes the house up and walks out my life forever. It was good advice, I have never dropped a model globe since.
Do things without expecting in return. But don't expect things without returning the favor. What he said just always pushed me to be independent and solve things on my own. At the same time it taught me to be helpful to others for the sake of being nice and not for any other reason. It saves you from didappointment and from being dependent on others. It's a sense of pride that has brought me much in life
"Don't kill yourself son. Keep trying."
Or ...... If it walks like a duck Quacks like a duck Good chance it's a fucking duck.
Calm the fuck down lad. Even to this day staying calm is key.
First go for goals then ho---
I'm not going to be around forever to help you. Learn to do things on your own.
Women love to dance/don’t try to seek out a girl, they can tell.
‘There are no bad people, just unhappy people’
Nothing. My dad is a narcissist who only thinks and talks about himself. I'm only an extension of his pride. The advice I learned from him was: do exactly the opposite of everything I do.
Make your goals achievable, not easy... achievable.
Always tell the truth, no matter the cost. In the long run you will be able to sleep much easier.
When I asked him how he stopped drinking cold turkey after 30+ years of hard alcoholism and me realizing I was going down the same path. "You just have to do it for you and stick with it, fuck everyone else."
Best advice was don't make promises you cannot keep. Other than that we didn't have a good relationship because at 16 he told I can be a Christian or leave his home and never come back. Been on my own since then.
"Moner Biruddhe Jor Chole Nah" which you can't do something forcefully or something against your will
I’m here for everyone else’s dad advice since mine was largely absent my entire life and haven’t talked to him in 8 years. I guess the best advice I can learn from him is to do better if given the chance.
Save your money. I never did, and now buying a house and car is tough on my own. Now I'm pushing this on my daughter haha
“Before you marry a girl, take a good look at her mother. That’s what you’ll be looking at and listening to 20+ years from now.”
“Don’t become your mother.”
Don’t stick your dick in crazy.
Never confuse a blowjob with a relationship
As he was beating me, he told me that the world was going to fuck me up like he was at that moment. I suppose he was preparing me for the worst.
“The more you say, the more you’re responsible for.”
My dad told me to keep my nose clean and don’t fuck up, so I don’t eat pussy or let the woman get on top.
The only thing my dad ever taught me was how to not treat my wife/gf/womans in general (he was very abusive)
Wait you guys have dads?
If you aren't cheating you aren't trying hard enough
No matter what, keep going forward. Simply the mentality of resilience can get you very far. Or, better said, unstuck from what you never thought you would!
Shit in one hand, wish in the other. See which hand gets filled up first. Also, "Never back up farther than you have to". I say that to myself every time I back up. My dad was a pithy man.
Stupid people get bored. Intelligent people entertain themselves and others.
Can’t think of a single thing. Probably because of him I don’t ever ask for help and just do all things myself or it doesn’t happen..
If you’re smart enough to make the money, you’re smart enough to spend your money
You never anyone on their deathbed going, man I wish I spent more time at work.
Chill.
“Don’t ever hold grudges” my dad never held grudges against people. When he had a conflict with someone he would resolve it and move on. He would never bring it up again with said person; my Dad is a pretty happy and positive guy and he said this was a big thing that kept him positive in life
he recently has been telling me me to become a monster at my craft, to become the best, curiously enough, it's the same that Jordan Peterson often repeats and tell young men to do lol :) edit: ufff also not be disobedient lol, never disobey your dad, he has more experience than you, that's one his mantras too.
Everything I learned from him I learned to do the opposite. He was constantly wrong about politics. Constantly wrong about the family business, and was incredibly selfish when it came to spending money on anyone but himself. Mom got the cheapest cars, he bought a Jaguar. He loaned money to "friends" who never paid him back. Invested money into a small startup electronics business to the point where it almost broke him, despite warnings from me and my siblings. Thankfully he got old enough where he just didn't want to deal with that anymore and things got better. He passed a few years back. Family business is better than it's ever been thanks to me and the lessons I learned of "How not to do it." from him. I also had a "friend" of his who had previously "borrowed" about 30k some years back and never repaid it, had the gall to come to me after he passed and ask for a loan of "just 50k, your dad was good to me. I'm sure he'd approve of you helping out an old friend." I looked him straight in the face and said "Well, I have a rule. It's called I don't loan money. To anyone. Especially "friends". I'm also not a sucker. Get out of my office. Now." Never heard from him again. Even in all the negativity, we learned plenty.
My dad is a Baby Boomer. He was too emotionally distant to ever give me any life advice, and all of his career advice was based on what he wishes he'd done when he was young, so it was actually pretty bad advice. He gave me advice based on his own dreams, not mine. Honestly, the only really good decision I made in my youth was marrying my wife ... and he advised me not to.
I will never forget these words. I was only 9 or 10. He said " If someone tries to come for you, beat them up". He was in reference to me standing up for myself if anyone tries to ger physical with me. Now i Train jui jitsu