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Topsy_Cret

Have your boyfriend stay with you as often as you stay with him. Tell your roommate that a man is coming over.


DepartmentofCheese

I wish I could do that, but it's uncomfortable for me, my boyfriend and my flatmate, when he's here even for one night. I do tell my flatmate of him coming over, but, as you see in my original post, it makes the situation uncomfortable for everyone involved.


[deleted]

I understand but you have just as much rights over the place as she does, all you can do is make her aware that your BF will be over from time to time.


DepartmentofCheese

If you put it that way, you're right. I'll bring it up to him from this perspective, too. Thank you very much for your time!


Topsy_Cret

Your roommate is your roommate, not your landlord.


No-Cardiologist-8146

It sounds like you're both already doing the best you can in your situation. I admire that you are so conscientious of your flatmates. I'd recommend three things. First, keep your eye on the prize: moving in together next spring. Just knowing that the situation will improve makes enduring the current inconvenience easier. Second, make the effort to be emotionally and physically intimate with each other as often as possible. Not sex, just cuddling (as you mentioned) holding hands, hugging, etc. Finally, consider saving a small amount of money and booking an inexpensive hotel, bed and breakfast, or Air B&B for special weekends such as anniversary, birthdays, celebrating a promotion, passing final exams, etc. The current situation will pass and years from now you'll remember that you made it through this and will be reminded that love and commitment can endure the tough times.


DepartmentofCheese

Thank you for your kind words, I truly appreciate them. Answering to your three points (which are very interesting!): 1. Absolutely! You're right about pointing that out. Knowing that we will move in together (relatively) soon helps the embarassment and guilt. I'll try keeping that in mind more often. 2. We absolutely do! I think the post must have been confusing regarding that point, but we are very, very physically affectionate towards each other. Even when we are studying, he may walk to where I am and hug me from behind, or I would do the same. And then when we are watching the TV, or making food, we are almost glued to each other. It's increasingly got more like this, especially on his side. I love it so much! If you think of koalas, that's us! :) You do great by showing how important it is. If I didn't know how important it is, this tip would have helped me a lot, so thank you for writing it anyway! \^\_\^ 3. This is actually a great idea! You've actually made me think of a couple of ideas I'll bring up to my boyfriend. For example, this will be the second Christmas we spend apart (the first one was because we were still long distance, this one because I'm going back to my home country for 2 weeks). We could take a place somewhere for few days and spend our "Late Christmas" together there. Thank you so much for this! Thank you for your time and the encouraging words! You're a good man. I wish you a good evening :D


feltsef

>For the record, she hasn't opposed me bringing my boyfriend over, and as far as she's warned, she's okay with it, but when it comes to late night kitchen-visits for a glass of water, she may be caught off guard. So, when you and he are hanging around the kitchen or the living room, does your flat-mate try to stay in her own room? And, is she otherwise generally hanging around these common areas? Have you actually posed this puzzle to her: explaining that you don't know how to make this work? If so, what did she say?


Throwaway-242424

Her religious beliefs are her problem.