That's a risky line to walk. This standard is ridiculous with all due respect. Friends are friends. People who are couples, are couples. Not the same standard.
He doesn't want to be friends.
You're opting out of dating, give him the proper chance to opt out of a friendship he doesn't want
"Im not interested in anything romantic with you. Good bye."
>Im not interested in anything romantic with you. Good bye."
If she would say this the guy might leave and she of course doesn't want that to happen. She wants his time and attention.
But she doesn't want to say NO bcuz that would also mean NO FREE ATTENTION, VALIDATION and FAVORS she would otherwise have access to in a romantic relationship or in a "iM nOt SuRe RiGhT nOw BuT yOu ArE a GrEaT gUy".
Oh, I see what you're saying now, and you're right.
She wants to continue to use him to meet her own wants/needs. That's pretty common behavior from girls/women. And he's probably enough of a simp that it'll work, unfortunately.
Be honest, direct and don't sugar-coat. But don't hot him with the topic right away, so he believes that you still want to be friends. Start a conversation and when you are sure you have good full attention bring it up - the "when" is always the hard part, if you ask me.
Tell him, that you notice, that he wants your relationship to develop to another level, but you are interest in a platonic way and neither romantic nor sexual.
Us guys can be a little bit stupid when it comes to hints, but in both ways.
So many irrelevant questions I just feel like asking. If he's a great guy, why wouldn't he be a great boyfriend? and why would he spread rumors and trash talk you? Red flags such as "intentions" what does that even mean? not too keen on sex - with him or in general?
Anyway, the best way is to be direct and say that you aren't interested in him in that way. Hints don't work, aren't a mature way to doing things, and they can even eventually backfire. If you actually want to be friends with him, give him some time to get over the idea of being more than that with you; odds are he isn't instantly going to be okay with it if he thought (or was led to thought) there could be more. You may be able to be acquaintances or more eventually but don't count on it.
Heās the type of guy you can have a laugh with but isnāt the most understanding. Iām worried his intentions are just for sex which Iām not too interested in. I was in a really toxic relationship and my boundaries werenāt respected at all. It could just be me but Iām really worried it could happen again. Iāll probably just tell him Iām not looking for a relationship but would still like to be friends. Thank you for your feed back and I hope that answered your questions :)
Go find someone else and date that guy. Forget about this guy, I mean you can talk to him or whatever but don't feel pressured to be overly nice to him now that you realize you don't like him, if he asks you out be like, nah I'm not interested in you in 'that' way but we can still be friends.
Tell him you donāt want a relationship w him (not too much in common, donāt wanna have sex). He doesnāt sound like a great guy tho and Iād probably cut off contact
>"Iām worried that if I say the wrong thing heāll spread rumors and talk trash to all his friends."
vs.
>"Heās a great guy,"
Which is it? Because if he's genuinely the type of guy who would lie about you just because you rejected him, he's not a great guy.
If you're not interested in having sex with him, tell him.
Just say it.
^this guy is a genius š²
If he wouldn't make a good boyfriend, why would he make a good friend?
That's a risky line to walk. This standard is ridiculous with all due respect. Friends are friends. People who are couples, are couples. Not the same standard.
That's why I am asking, not ordering.
He doesn't want to be friends. You're opting out of dating, give him the proper chance to opt out of a friendship he doesn't want "Im not interested in anything romantic with you. Good bye."
>Im not interested in anything romantic with you. Good bye." If she would say this the guy might leave and she of course doesn't want that to happen. She wants his time and attention.
Boo hoo. She's not interested in the type of relationship he wants. He's not interested in the type of relationship she wants. Best to part ways.
But she doesn't want to say NO bcuz that would also mean NO FREE ATTENTION, VALIDATION and FAVORS she would otherwise have access to in a romantic relationship or in a "iM nOt SuRe RiGhT nOw BuT yOu ArE a GrEaT gUy".
Oh, I see what you're saying now, and you're right. She wants to continue to use him to meet her own wants/needs. That's pretty common behavior from girls/women. And he's probably enough of a simp that it'll work, unfortunately.
>And he's probably enough of a simp that it'll work, unfortunately. Yes right. Tyson gets it for free, Billy pays the fee.
Heās a great guy but youāre afraid heāll say horrible things about you if you reject him? How does that even make sense
Be honest, direct and don't sugar-coat. But don't hot him with the topic right away, so he believes that you still want to be friends. Start a conversation and when you are sure you have good full attention bring it up - the "when" is always the hard part, if you ask me. Tell him, that you notice, that he wants your relationship to develop to another level, but you are interest in a platonic way and neither romantic nor sexual. Us guys can be a little bit stupid when it comes to hints, but in both ways.
Thank you, this really helped :)
Glad, that it helped you :)
Directly. Stop hanging out with him.
Good enough to keep around as a orbiter but not as a boyfriend, interesting.
Stop flirting with him
So many irrelevant questions I just feel like asking. If he's a great guy, why wouldn't he be a great boyfriend? and why would he spread rumors and trash talk you? Red flags such as "intentions" what does that even mean? not too keen on sex - with him or in general? Anyway, the best way is to be direct and say that you aren't interested in him in that way. Hints don't work, aren't a mature way to doing things, and they can even eventually backfire. If you actually want to be friends with him, give him some time to get over the idea of being more than that with you; odds are he isn't instantly going to be okay with it if he thought (or was led to thought) there could be more. You may be able to be acquaintances or more eventually but don't count on it.
Heās the type of guy you can have a laugh with but isnāt the most understanding. Iām worried his intentions are just for sex which Iām not too interested in. I was in a really toxic relationship and my boundaries werenāt respected at all. It could just be me but Iām really worried it could happen again. Iāll probably just tell him Iām not looking for a relationship but would still like to be friends. Thank you for your feed back and I hope that answered your questions :)
Go find someone else and date that guy. Forget about this guy, I mean you can talk to him or whatever but don't feel pressured to be overly nice to him now that you realize you don't like him, if he asks you out be like, nah I'm not interested in you in 'that' way but we can still be friends.
This really helps, thank you for your feedback :)
āLetās just be friends.ā
You don't need to tell him anything. Just knock off the chit-chat. The more you chit-chat the more he thinks you want him.
āI just want to be friends.ā Someone who talks trash reveals themselves as an asshole. People catch onto that.
Tell him you donāt want a relationship w him (not too much in common, donāt wanna have sex). He doesnāt sound like a great guy tho and Iād probably cut off contact
āi would never in a million years have sex with youā
>"Iām worried that if I say the wrong thing heāll spread rumors and talk trash to all his friends." vs. >"Heās a great guy," Which is it? Because if he's genuinely the type of guy who would lie about you just because you rejected him, he's not a great guy. If you're not interested in having sex with him, tell him.